Rehearsal Dinner Planning Guide
Wedding day is right around the corner! A ceremony rehearsal is almost always necessary in order to get the bridal party and family members on the same page about how the ceremony, and the day as a whole, will run. This time is a great opportunity to share the timeline, ceremony details, and other pertinent information that you won’t want to spend time explaining on the actual wedding day.
Rehearsal dinner usually immediately follows the ceremony rehearsal and is typically the final gathering of friends and family prior to the big day. Below is a planning guide to help you manage the who, what, when, where, why, and how of this event. Follow this guide or share it with the event host for a smooth rehearsal dinner planning experience!
What is the purpose of rehearsal dinner?
This event is intended to gather your bridal party and immediate family in an intimate setting before the big day. Oftentimes family or bridal party members travel for your wedding and/or take time away from work or other obligations to attend the rehearsal and celebrate your love. This is an opportunity to show thanks for all that your bridal party and family have done for you!
When should the rehearsal dinner take place?
Rehearsal dinner typically occurs directly following the ceremony rehearsal. This means that it will take place either the night before or a few days prior to your wedding. While it is called “rehearsal dinner” it doesn’t necessarily have to be a dinner. If you host the rehearsal earlier in the day, it can be a rehearsal brunch or lunch. If you want something a little less formal you can have a rehearsal “happy hour” or something similar that implies a gathering that doesn’t necessarily include a full meal.
Pro-tip #1: Know your friends and plan accordingly. If you have a bridal party that likes to drink heavily, host the event two days before your wedding instead of the night before. No one wants a hungover bridal party on their wedding day! If this isn’t an option, limit the alcohol provided to wine and beer only.
Example rehearsal dinner planning timeline-
6 months prior to the wedding-
Create a guest list for the rehearsal dinner
Decide on the general “feel” for your rehearsal dinner (formal, casual, something in between?)
Contact ceremony venue and confirm rehearsal date
Find & book a venue to host the dinner
3 months prior to the wedding-
Consider how you want to invite your guests to rehearsal dinner
Order invitations if necessary
2 months prior to the wedding-
Send out invitations to rehearsal dinner (send these sooner if a lot of guests are traveling so they can book travel arrangements accordingly!)
1 month prior to the wedding-
Find decor for rehearsal dinner
Select attire for rehearsal dinner
1 day(ish) prior to the wedding-
Host ceremony rehearsal
Host rehearsal dinner
Who hosts the rehearsal dinner?
Traditionally the groom’s parents take on this task, but the host can be anyone, and completely depends on your situation. If the groom’s parents aren’t able to host- or if you have two brides-, it can be the bride’s parents, other relatives, or even yourselves! The bridal party doesn’t typically take charge of this event, since the event is intended as a “thank you” for them.
How should I invite people?
As always, there are no set rules. Sending formal invitations by mail is great if you have the time and wiggle room in the budget, but not necessary by any means! Many other wedding blogs and older generations would strongly disagree with me on this, though, so be prepared for a host coming from an older generation to find formal invitations necessary. Since the guest list is typically just those absolutely closest to you, invitations can easily be sent via email, Facebook, or even a quick text!
No matter how you choose to spread word about the party, the invitations do not need to be as formal as the wedding invitations. These invitations also do not need to be a reflection of your wedding design in any way, though they usually do incorporate aspects of your wedding design. You, or the host, can pick whatever aesthetic makes you all happy!
Pro-tip #2: If you and your host disagree on how invitations should be sent, choosing to mail more casual invitations with bright colors and fun fonts can be a good compromise!
Pro-tip #3: Take this one with a grain of salt, but… pick and choose your battles. There will probably be plenty of opinions coming your way about the wedding that you will need to navigate. If the host of this event feels really strongly about the invitations, this may not be the hill to die on.
Who should be invited?
Who you invite depends on the overall feel you are going for. Typically it is just your immediate family and anyone who is walking down the aisle (in other words, any one who needs to attend the ceremony rehearsal).
Here is a general outline of who is typically invited:
Your bridal party AND a guest*
*Not everyone has to have a guest. If they have traveled out of town with a “plus one” to your wedding, that person is usually invited to the rehearsal dinner. If you are good friends with their significant other, that person should be invited. If they are scrolling through Tinder and find someone they’d like to invite... you DEFINITELY don’t need to invite them.
Your immediate families (if your relationship with them allows for this)
If the host has a larger budget and you have a large wedding guest list (usually applicable if 250+), occasionally extended family who traveled from out of town will be invited too. If you invite your out of town extended family, most people will include their in town relatives as well.
What information should the invitations include?
As always, names, date, location, and time will need to be included on the invitation. The host should also specify what kind of refreshments can be expected (appetizers only, full dinner, hosted bar, BYOB, no alcohol, etc.) Be sure to include the time and location of the actual ceremony rehearsal, too!
The rehearsal dinner host may also want to include their name and that is totally fine! People will often word the invites “The parents/aunt/cousin/friend/etc. of X invite you to the wedding rehearsal of their daughter/son/other to [Fiance name here] [list time and location]. Dinner to follow [list time and location].”
Information at a glance:
Bride(s) & Groom(s) names
Date
Ceremony rehearsal time
Ceremony rehearsal location
“Dinner to follow at……”
Rehearsal dinner time
Rehearsal dinner location
Who should pay for the rehearsal dinner?
The cost of the rehearsal dinner typically will fall on the host. This varies on a case by case basis depending on financial situations. Some hosts may ask you to pay for a portion of the rehearsal dinner. If you cannot afford to fund any portion of the party, let the host know, and suggest a more casual or smaller rehearsal dinner to accommodate their budget! Much like the actual wedding, budget isn’t what defines the day. The most important aspect is celebrating your love while surrounded by the people who mean the most to you and your fiance! (See the end of blog for full example budget breakdowns.)
Where should the rehearsal dinner be hosted?
The rehearsal dinner can be hosted in any location, it will just depend on the size of the guest list, access to space, and budget. While the event can be as formal or informal as the host would like, they are usually hosted at a restaurant near the wedding venue. Choosing a private room in a restaurant can often be less expensive since so much will be included (i.e. in house catering, tables, chairs, flatware, plates, napkins, drinkware, bar, centerpieces, etc.) If a restaurant is not in the budget, a casual backyard get together is not out of the norm!
Pro-tip #4: Since the ceremony rehearsal usually takes place at the ceremony venue, it is most convenient for guests if rehearsal dinner is held at a restaurant or other location nearby.
What should we do at the rehearsal dinner?
Eat, drink, and socialize! The rehearsal is a great opportunity to distribute gifts to the bridal party and family. It is also the perfect time to allow bridal party members who will not be giving toasts at the wedding to give a quick speech!
Is a full meal expected at the rehearsal dinner?
YES! This does not mean you have to include one, but if you do not plan to serve a full dinner, communicate that with your guests so they can plan accordingly.
Rehearsals are typically a nicer meal, but that doesn’t mean yours has to be! A backyard BBQ or quick pizza party is completely acceptable! If the host wants to go all out and provide a full 5 course, sit down dinner, that is fine, too. As long as they are paying for it, and you are comfortable with it, there are no right or wrong answers as to what should be served.
What should be included in the budget?
This completely depends on what the budget allows for and what the host chooses to include! Below are some typical things to consider budgeting for:
Venue
Catering
Tables, chairs, plates, cups, flatware, napkins, etc.
Bar
Cake/dessert
Invitations
Decor
Miscellaneous
Of course there are endless approaches to maximize any budget! Below are 3 example budgets for rehearsal dinners.
Example 1 (the “bells and whistles” example)- overall budget $9k
40 guests, 2.5 hour party
Party Planner- $850
Venue- Nice Restaurant (includes tables, chairs, plates, flatware, cups, and food)- @ $100/person = $4,000
Bar (through venue- beer, wine, & top shelf liquor)- @ $30/person = $1,200
Photographer- $500
Music/entertainment (Live guitarist & singer)- $600
Cake from speciality bakery (2 tier 6” base, 4” top tier)- $450
Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$5/household = $90
Decor- $1,300
1 large balloon display $200
Florist (garland runners for tables & 2 accent pieces)- $1,000
Signage (welcome sign, seating chart, place cards, etc.)- $150
TOTAL: $8,995
Example 2 (the “mid range” example)- overall budget $2k
40 guests, 2.5 hour party
Venue- mid range restaurant (includes tables, chairs, plates, flatware, cups, and food)- @ $30/person = $1,200
Bar (through venue- beer & wine only)- @ $15/person = $600
Music/entertainment (restaurant music)- FREE
Dessert provided by restaurant, included in per person cost- NO EXTRA FEE
Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$2/household = $60
Decor- $65
DIY Trader Joe’s flowers 4 bushels @ $5/each- $20
Dollar tree vases, 5 @ $1/each = $5
Signage (enlarged poster of engagement pic, printed at Costco)- $40
TOTAL: $1,922
Example 3 (the “ballin’ on a budget” example)- overall budget $350
40 guests, 2.5 hour party
Venue (backyard) - FREE
Catering (pizza party! 10 pizzas @ $13/each + tip)- $150
Tables & chairs (use friend’s folding tables & chairs, buy dollar tree table covers)- $10
Plates, plasticware, and drinkware (use disposable- comes with pizza)- FREE
Bar (6 cases of beer @$15/each)- $90
Music (make playlist and set up your own speaker)- FREE
Cake/dessert (single tier, local grocer)- $35
Invitations (Send out email or create Facebook event)- FREE
Decor- $50
DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 5 bushels @ $5/bushel = $25
Dollar store vases 1 per table @$1/each = $8
Candles & dollar tree candle votives (2 per table)- $2/each = $16
TOTAL: $335
As you can see, the third example can easily decrease in price by only offering BYOB, cutting out all decor, skipping dessert and/or ordering cheaper pizza. Basically this is all to say, no budget is too small!