Rehearsal Dinner Planning Guide
Wedding day is right around the corner! A ceremony rehearsal is always highly recommended and strongly encouraged to take place a day or two prior to the wedding day. During the wedding ceremony rehearsal everyone participating in the ceremony (i.e. formally walking down the aisle, performing readings or songs, leading special ceremonies, etc.) will have a chance to practice what is expected on the wedding day. Everyone will learn where to line up, who they will walk with, the pace to walk, where they will end up sitting or standing, what to do throughout the ceremony, and how/when to recess, or exit, at the conclusion of the ceremony. The ceremony rehearsal is also a great opportunity to share your wedding day timeline, ceremony details, and other pertinent information with your wedding party and other wedding day participants so that everyone goes into the wedding day knowing what to expect.
The wedding ceremony rehearsal is typically closely followed by a rehearsal dinner where the wedding party, close family members, and their significant others gather to enjoy connecting over a meal. As with any event, rehearsal dinners can look vastly different! Some are elaborate enough to rival the wedding, some are casual backyard BBQs, and of course there are plenty in between. No matter your rehearsal dinner vision, the following guide will help you manage the who, what, when, where, why, and how of the rehearsal dinner. Follow this guide or share it with the event host for a smooth rehearsal dinner planning experience!
What is the purpose of rehearsal dinner?
A rehearsal dinner event is intended to gather your wedding party and loved ones in an intimate setting before the big day. This event provides the opportunity to connect with your loved ones and show appreciation for their support and participation in your wedding.
Note that a welcome party and a rehearsal dinner are two separate events. A welcome dinner is open to all guests attending the wedding, while a rehearsal dinner has a limited guest list. It is not necessary, but also not uncommon for both a welcome dinner (or welcome “happy hour”) and a rehearsal dinner to occur, especially for destination weddings or weddings where a large portion of the guest list have traveled to attend.
When should the rehearsal dinner take place?
Rehearsal dinner typically occurs directly following the wedding ceremony rehearsal. This means that it will take place either the night before or a few days prior to your wedding. While it is called “rehearsal dinner” it doesn’t necessarily have to be a dinner. A wedding ceremony rehearsal scheduled early in the day might be followed by a rehearsal brunch or lunch inlieu of a dinner. Less formal rehearsal gatherings, like a rehearsal “happy hour,” are likely to occur either before or after a standard dinner hour.
Pro-tip #1: Know your guests and plan accordingly. A group that enjoys drinking can benefit from the rehearsal dinner taking place two days before the wedding instead of the night before to minimize the risk of anyone feeling unwell the morning of your wedding. If this isn’t an option, limit the alcohol provided to wine and beer only.
Example rehearsal dinner planning timeline-
6 months prior to the wedding-
Create a guest list for the rehearsal dinner
Decide on the general “feel” for your rehearsal dinner (formal, casual, something in between?)
Contact ceremony venue and confirm rehearsal date (note that some venues will not confirm this date until closer to the wedding, which would impact this planning timeline)
Find & book a venue to host the dinner
3 months prior to the wedding-
Consider how you want to invite your guests to rehearsal dinner
Order invitations
Book a florist
Book a photographer
2 months prior to the wedding-
Send out invitations to rehearsal dinner (send these sooner if a lot of guests are traveling so they can book travel arrangements accordingly!)
Have a tasting with the venue & confirm the menu
Book a musician
1 month prior to the wedding-
Source wedding party gifts
Design & source a welcome sign, seating chart/place cards, printed menus, table numbers, etc.
Select personal attire for rehearsal dinner
Pro-tip: it is a good idea to wear your wedding shoes to the wedding ceremony rehearsal. If you will not have an opportunity to change your shoes between the ceremony rehearsal and dinner, plan your rehearsal dinner outfit accordingly!
1 day(ish) prior to the wedding-
Host wedding ceremony rehearsal
Attend rehearsal dinner
Who hosts the rehearsal dinner?
While, traditionally a groom’s parents take on this task, the host can be anyone! Only the wedding party members should not host the rehearsal dinner, as this is an event to appreciate and celebrate them as much as it is to celebrate your upcoming wedding. Fortunately, it is common for someone to offer to host the rehearsal dinner. The cost of the rehearsal dinner is covered by the host, which can make asking someone to take on the responsibility of the rehearsal dinner awkward. If no one is volunteering, there are no rules saying you cannot host your own rehearsal dinner!
How should I invite people?
As always, there are no set rules. Mailing formal invitations when time and budget allow, but, baring the scale of the event, are not necessarily a must! Since the guest list is typically just those absolutely closest to you, invitations can easily be sent via email or evite hosting platform, especially for particularly tight planning windows and/or small guest lists! It is worth noting that individuals of older generations tend to be more committed to tradition and might consider formal invitations a requirement.
No matter how you choose to spread word about the party, the invitations do not need to be as robust as the wedding invitations. A one page invitation, detail card, and RSVP card (with pre stamped return envelope) is typically going to be the absolute most a rehearsal dinner invitation suite might include, though the standard is a simple postcard invitation.
Who should be invited?
Who you invite depends on the scale of the event you are planning to host. An intimate rehearsal dinner will typically have a guest list limited to the wedding party, wedding ceremony participants, close family members, and their significant others. A more elaborate rehearsal dinner might be open to all extended family in addition to the wedding party and wedding ceremony participants. In any situation, guests are expected to be granted a plus one when they have a significant other and/or have traveled from out of town with a wedding date.
What information should the invitations include?
As always, names, date, location, and time will need to be included on the rehearsal dinner invitation. The host should also specify what kind of refreshments can be expected (appetizers only, full dinner, hosted bar, BYOB, no alcohol, etc.) Be sure to include the time and location of the actual ceremony rehearsal, too!
The rehearsal dinner host may also want to include their name and that is totally fine! People will often word the invites “The parents/aunt/cousin/friend/etc. of X invite you to the wedding rehearsal of their daughter/son/other to [Fiance name here] [list time and location]. Dinner to follow [list time and location].”
Information at a glance:
Couples’ names
Event date
Ceremony rehearsal time
Ceremony rehearsal location
“Dinner to follow at……”
Rehearsal dinner time
Rehearsal dinner location
Where should the rehearsal dinner be hosted?
It is rare, though not unheard of, for a wedding venue to offer their clients the option to host a rehearsal dinner on site following the wedding ceremony rehearsal. It is more typical for a rehearsal dinner to be hosted at a restaurant, venue, private residence, or park nearby. Most commonly rehearsal dinners are held at a restaurant near the wedding ceremony venue for a convenient guest commute following the wedding ceremony rehearsal. Choosing a private room in a restaurant simplifies the planning efforts since they tend to be very inclusive (i.e. in house catering, tables, chairs, flatware, plates, napkins, drinkware, bar, centerpieces, etc.). If a restaurant is not feasible, a backyard get together or park gathering is not out of the norm! The formality and scale of any rehearsal dinner depends on the host’s preference, and anyone considering alternative options to a restaurant or event venue is not necessarily committing to a more casual event. A rehearsal dinner held at a private residence or park has the same potential to be particularly fancy as it does particularly casual. The ultimate location selection depends on the size of the guest list, available options within a close proximity to the ceremony venue, event vision, and budget.
What should we do at the rehearsal dinner?
Eat, drink, and socialize! The rehearsal is a great opportunity to distribute gifts to the wedding party and close family members. It is also the perfect time to allow loved ones who will not be giving toasts at the wedding to say a few words to honor your marriage.
Is a full meal expected at the rehearsal dinner?
YES, guests typically assume rehearsal dinner will provide a meal unless told otherwise! While it is expected, you do not have to include one. You do, however, have to communicate this to guests so that they may plan accordingly.
Rehearsals are typically a nicer meal, but that doesn’t mean yours has to be. A backyard BBQ or quick pizza party is completely acceptable! If the host wants to go all out and provide a full 5 course, sit down dinner, that is fine, too. As long as they are paying for it, and you are comfortable with it, there are no right or wrong answers as to what should be served.
What should be included in the budget?
This completely depends on what the budget allows for and what the host chooses to include! Below are some typical things to consider budgeting for:
Event Planner & Coordinator
Venue
Catering
Tables, chairs, plates, cups, flatware, napkins, etc.
Bar
Cake/dessert
Invitations
Decor
Miscellaneous
That being said, every rehearsal dinner looks different. One might be an event to rival the wedding while another might be a simple kickback with beers on the beach. It isn’t the details that make a rehearsal dinner- it is the intention, the connection, and the celebration!