All Things Wedding MC

You spend hours of time, loads of energy, and a lot of money making sure your wedding day will be perfect. As you work to bring your plans together, your wedding will begin to develop a personality. Usually the personality your wedding takes on is a reflection of your own. As the primary source of communication to all wedding attendees, a professional MC conveys this personality to everyone. Though this person will bring their own unique charisma to the table, it is important to find a professional who will accurately represent you, your fiance, and your wedding vision! Follow this guide to make sure you feel confident in the MC you select!

This guide is divided into 3 sections:

1. Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding MC

2. Questions to ask an MC prior to booking

3. Ways to maximize your MC’s services

Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding MC

1. What is an MC? An MC (Emcee), or Master of Ceremonies, is essentially the voice of your wedding. They are the liaison between you, your vendors, your timeline, and the guests. Not to be confused with a coordinator, who communicates between you and your vendors to make sure everything is running smoothly and on time, an MC communicates between the coordinator and guests to keep everyone informed of what will happen next. In addition to making important announcements, they typically also provide an element of entertainment to the guests.

2. You need someone to MC. The role that an MC plays is a big piece of what separates a wedding from any other event. Even if you aren’t interested in hiring an MC as an entertainer, someone will still need to be designated to make announcements. Without an MC the guests, or even you, might not know what to do at any particular time. For example, the MC will direct people from one area to another (ceremony, to cocktail hour, to reception, to dancing, etc.), release tables to take turns at a buffet, announce when the bar is open and closed, introduce special events (i.e. the grand entrance, special dances, toasts, etc.), and bring energy to the dance floor! 

3. Typically your musician will double as, or provide, an MC, but this isn’t always the case. Typically the DJ or lead singer of a wedding band will serve as an MC. If they don’t personally act as an MC, they usually offer an MC as an add-on to their services. Sometimes these professionals don’t include or offer options for this service, and you will need to find a professional on your own. In some cases, even if your musician can MC, a separate professional may be necessary if announcements need to made in multiple languages. When booking a musician, inquire about their MC work, and/or request an MC that is bilingual if necessary.

4. Professionals specializing MC work usually have a very specific style. Some people specialize in wedding MCing, but it is more common to find an MC who specializes in events as a general category. While anyone MCing will have their own “microphone voice,” professionals who specialize in this kind of work tend to have more niche styles. A professional MC may host game night at a local bar, fashion shows, bingo nights, drag shows, standup comedy shows, etc., all of which require a niche persona. This means they are likely to have a specific MC style that may or may not work for you. You can judge this based on samples of their work they provide, how they speak on the phone, or by attending an event they are hosting prior to booking.

5. Some MCs double as musicians; proceed with caution. Not to be confused with musicians who double as an MC, some professional MCs also dabble in music on the side and may want to do a performance at your wedding. Again, be sure to check out samples of their work to make sure this is something you are comfortable with! Sometimes it works out amazingly, and they offer an incredible show to guests. Sometimes it goes less than stellar. Do your due diligence and make sure any performance they will do will go over well with your specific crowd.

6. Some MCs double as comedians; proceed with caution. MCs are almost always at least a little funny and charismatic. This makes for a great host! Guests don’t want to hear a monotone voice making bland announcements. Often lack of character allows for announcements to go unheard, as even an amplified monotone voice is easily lost in the noise of the crowd. However, there is a difference between a little bit of charming humor and a full on stand up routine. Even if you love comedy and a full stand up routine sounds awesome, make sure that their sense of humor is in line with what you envisioned for your wedding!

7. An MC is an entertainer, but they shouldn’t steal the show. As the host of your wedding, an MC is expected to provide entertainment for guests. This may include walking around to guests and asking them questions about the newlyweds, encouraging guests to dance, or making announcements in an upbeat and engaging way. There is an incredible finesse required to provide entertainment without making the day about themselves. This is easily avoided by checking out their work prior to booking! 

8. MCs don’t usually provide their own sound equipment. Since it is unusual for MCs to provide their own sound equipment, you will need to source this elsewhere. Typically your DJ, venue, or wedding band will provide the sound equipment. Make sure that whoever is providing sound equipment is on board with sharing. If none of these vendors are supplying a sound system, you will need to source it elsewhere so music and announcements can be heard throughout your event space.

9. Meet with a potential MC you are interested in on the phone or in person and pay attention to their speaking voice. Listen to the cadence of their voice. Pay attention to their energy, word choice, personality, and overall sound they produce when they speak. This will provide a lot more insight into their MC style than any single question ever could. If the person is engaging, interesting, and professional in a meeting, there is a good chance those qualities will carry over to their MC work.

10. Don’t just read reviews, read into reviews.  An MC may have five stars across all review platforms, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are a good fit for you. While this is true for all vendors, it is especially true for MCs because their work style is so subjective. Look for trends in the reviews that can provide a little more insight into what this professional's work style is like. For example, if you see multiple 5 star reviews that consistently say something to the effect of “they playfully teased all of our guests and did a lot of funny celebrity impressions,” recurring throughout reviews, that person is probably going to perform similarly at your wedding. Other couples may have loved this and left all five star reviews, but if the thought of your guests being the butt of a joke and having to listen to celebrity impressions all night makes you cringe, that professional isn’t going to be the right fit for you.

Questions to ask prior to booking an MC

Basics-

1. Are you available on my date?

2. Can you work within my budget?

3. Do you require a deposit? How much?

4. When is the balance due?

5. What is your preferred method of payment?

6. What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?

7. What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?

8. What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?

9. What is the backup plan if you are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?

10. Are there any additional fees, such as travel fees, that are not included in the package price?

11. Are you licensed?

12. Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your staff and property?

Experience & style-

1. How long have you been a professional MC?

2. Do you specialize in a certain type of event?

3. How long have you been MCing weddings?

4. How many weddings have you MCd?

5. How would you describe your MC style?

6. What makes you stand apart from other MCs?

7. Are you open to hosting games or special events we have planned?

8. Do you offer any additional services or typically do special performances?

9. Have you worked at our venue before? (Hint: This is particularly important if the venue includes a house sound system. An MC that is familiar with your venue and their system will be familiar with how to start up the system and quicker able to troubleshoot, should any issues arise.)

10. Have you worked with our musician(s) before?

11. If applicable, can you make announcements in English and another language? (Hint: Typically at multicultural events a special MC will be hired to make announcements so that all of the guests can understand. Usually these MCs will make announcements in English and your preferred language, but some MCs will only make announcements in the language you have specifically hired them for. This can pose an issue if some guests don’t speak this language, and creates the same problem they were hired to alleviate in the first place! Make sure that someone is available to translate for guests so everyone is in the know for important events!)

12. Can we see videos of you hosting a previous event or attend a live event that you are MCing?

Logistics-

1. Do you provide your own sound equipment?

2. If you do provide sound equipment, will our guests have access to your microphone for speeches/toasts?

3. If we decide we want the party to last longer, can we add extra hours onto our package on the night of the wedding?

4. What is the rate for additional hours?

5. Do you require breaks?

6. Do you require a vendor meal?

7. Will you MC any other events throughout our wedding weekend?

Ways to maximize your MC’s services

1. Set up a phone or in person meeting prior to the wedding to go over all of the details. It is important that the MC is well versed in all of your wedding day plans so they can do their job to the best of their ability. In order to set themselves up for success, most MCs will require either a phone or in person meeting prior to your wedding to go over the details. If they don’t require a meeting, arrange one yourself! Everyone will be better off if the details are reviewed together in advance. This meeting will be most beneficial within the final week or two of your wedding. As you finalize planning details, slight things may shift. Set up your meeting with your MC as close to your wedding as possible (without it being so close that the MC doesn’t have time to prepare and you feel overwhelmed with a lot of last minute to-do’s) to ensure they are receiving the most finalized and accurate information regarding your wedding plans.

2. Send the MC your timeline prior to having a final details meeting with them about your wedding plans. This will give the MC an opportunity to look through the timeline and prepare any questions they may have for you. The MC will need to be familiar with the timeline to make sure they understand the flow of the evening, when to make announcements, and, on the day of your wedding, know when to check in with your coordinator and other vendors to make sure everyone is ready for the next scheduled event prior to making the announcement.

3. Specify how you, the newlyweds, would like to be referred to. Your MC will be announcing, at least referring to you, several times throughout the evening. Make sure you specify what you’d like to be called as a couple. While traditionally newlyweds used to be referred to as “Mr. and Mrs. [man’s full name here]” that isn’t always the case anymore. With so much variation in who can be married and the dynamic between couples shifting, weddings have come a long way from the days where new couples were introduced as “Mr. & Mrs. John Smith!” Some other alternatives include just your first names, “the newlyweds,” “the Smith’s,” “John & Philip Smith,” etc.

4. If you need your MC to announce any names, spell the names out phonetically. Even simple names get mispronounced on occasion. An easy way to avoid this is to write out the phonetic spelling next to the names so the MC knows exactly how to say the names (i.e. Mary = M-air-ee). Write out your name, your fiance's name, and your last name(s) phonetically so the MC pronounces them correctly all evening long. Even if you talk to your MC many times and you and/or they say your names repeatedly, it is YOUR special day and your names are worth guaranteeing correct pronunciation! Usually more than just the newlywed’s names will be announced at some point during the wedding. Important guests will give speeches and often newlyweds want to include additional people in the grand entrance (i.e. the wedding party, immediate family members, sponsors, etc.). Provide these names in writing with specifications on how to pronounce them, so everybody’s name is announced correctly!

5. Thoroughly discuss any announcements your MC will need to make. Prior to the wedding, you will likely plan and predetermine specific announcements that will need to be made. Make sure to provide these announcements in writing to your MC. The timeline is the perfect place to write out the specific announcements so the MC can track exactly when announcements are intended to be made. Be sure to discuss all of the announcements with your MC. Let them know if you want the exact wording you have provided, or if they have a little leeway on what should be said.

6. Let the MC know ahead of time when to NOT speak. Some people only want the MC to speak when it is time for designated announcements. Others want entertainment all throughout the event. Many people want something in between. If there are any times throughout the night you’d rather the MC keep to themselves (i.e. special dances, the duration of dinner, the duration of cocktail hour, etc.) let them know ahead of time. If the MC isn’t given any specifications of when to keep quiet, they may feel the need to fill in gaps by telling jokes, narrating special events (i.e. “wow look at that twirl,” “Oh they’re going for dip,” “smash the cake!!”, etc.), or engaging guests on the microphone (i.e. inquiring about how they know the couple, asking for a random guest to provide relationship advice, asking for a quick impromptu speech from a random guest, etc.). All of these examples are fairly typical of an MC, so they can’t be blamed for doing any of this if they haven’t been told otherwise!

7. Discuss specific jokes, questions, games, etc. that you’d like included with your MC. If there is anything specific or out of the norm you’d like included at some point at your wedding, let the MC know! If you want any games, specific forms of guest engagement, or other out-of-the-norm approaches to entertainment make sure the MC knows ahead of time so they can prepare accordingly! While the examples listed under #6 are not out of the norm for MCs, they also shouldn’t be expected unless you specify you would like them to engage and entertain guests in these ways.

8. Be sure to inform the MC of any “don’t breach topics.” If there is anything that should never, ever be brought up with your family or guests LET THE MC KNOW! There is nothing worse than an MC making a statement, telling a joke, or asking a question and it being followed by a dramatic, awkward pause amongst the crowd! The best way to avoid this is to let them know about any “don’t go there topics” ahead of time. Even if it feels like an overshare, it will be better for everyone in the end if the MC knows what topics to avoid.

9. Specify who should and should not be given a microphone. It is fairly common for a distant relative or friend to suddenly become inspired and want to give an impromptu speech at a wedding (especially once the alcohol starts flowing). Some couples are happy to open the floor to anyone who wants to give a toast, while others strictly want to stick to the planned speeches. There are any number of reasons for either of these approaches, but if you anticipate any guests becoming an issue, make sure your MC knows who, under no circumstances, should never get a hold of the microphone. 

10. Provide all information in writing. While a phone or in person meeting is of the utmost importance, it is equally important to write down all instructions, wants, dislikes, etc. for your MC. While it is important that information is provided in writing for all vendors, it is especially important for your MC, because their mistakes are amplified (literally, via the microphone). If your caterer forgets to set out appetizer plates, they can quickly fix the problem with minimal guests noticing. If your MC messes up your last name, everyone will be aware. Your MC will likely be pouring over your written notes prior to the wedding in order to prepare, but will typically bring all of the notes with them to make sure everything is going the way you discussed! Little details are much more likely to slip by the wayside if they don’t have written notes and are simply trying to remember everything you said in a phone conversation! This will also help if your coordinator or a guest approach the MC to inquire why they are or are not doing something. If the MC has specific instructions in writing that they are not supposed to tell jokes or engage with guests during dinner they can prove they are doing their job exactly as you wanted!

Rehearsal Dinner Planning Guide

Wedding day is right around the corner! A ceremony rehearsal is almost always necessary in order to get the bridal party and family members on the same page about how the ceremony, and the day as a whole, will run. This time is a great opportunity to share the timeline, ceremony details, and other pertinent information that you won’t want to spend time explaining on the actual wedding day. 

Rehearsal dinner usually immediately follows the ceremony rehearsal and is typically the final gathering of friends and family prior to the big day. Below is a planning guide to help you manage the who, what, when, where, why, and how of this event. Follow this guide or share it with the event host for a smooth rehearsal dinner planning experience! 

What is the purpose of rehearsal dinner?

This event is intended to gather your bridal party and immediate family in an intimate setting before the big day. Oftentimes family or bridal party members travel for your wedding and/or take time away from work or other obligations to attend the rehearsal and celebrate your love. This is an opportunity to show thanks for all that your bridal party and family have done for you!

When should the rehearsal dinner take place?

Rehearsal dinner typically occurs directly following the ceremony rehearsal. This means that it will take place either the night before or a few days prior to your wedding. While it is called “rehearsal dinner” it doesn’t necessarily have to be a dinner. If you host the rehearsal earlier in the day, it can be a rehearsal brunch or lunch. If you want something a little less formal you can have a rehearsal “happy hour” or something similar that implies a gathering that doesn’t necessarily include a full meal.

Pro-tip #1: Know your friends and plan accordingly. If you have a bridal party that likes to drink heavily, host the event two days before your wedding instead of the night before. No one wants a hungover bridal party on their wedding day! If this isn’t an option, limit the alcohol provided to wine and beer only.

Example rehearsal dinner planning timeline-

6 months prior to the wedding- 

Create a guest list for the rehearsal dinner

Decide on the general “feel” for your rehearsal dinner (formal, casual, something in between?)

Contact ceremony venue and confirm rehearsal date

Find & book a venue to host the dinner

3 months prior to the wedding-

Consider how you want to invite your guests to rehearsal dinner

Order invitations if necessary

2 months prior to the wedding- 

Send out invitations to rehearsal dinner (send these sooner if a lot of guests are traveling so they can book travel arrangements accordingly!)

1 month prior to the wedding-

Find decor for rehearsal dinner

Select attire for rehearsal dinner

1 day(ish) prior to the wedding- 

Host ceremony rehearsal

Host rehearsal dinner

Who hosts the rehearsal dinner?

Traditionally the groom’s parents take on this task, but the host can be anyone, and completely depends on your situation. If the groom’s parents aren’t able to host- or if you have two brides-, it can be the bride’s parents, other relatives, or even yourselves! The bridal party doesn’t typically take charge of this event, since the event is intended as a “thank you” for them. 

How should I invite people?

As always, there are no set rules. Sending formal invitations by mail is great if you have the time and wiggle room in the budget, but not necessary by any means! Many other wedding blogs and older generations would strongly disagree with me on this, though, so be prepared for a host coming from an older generation to find formal invitations necessary. Since the guest list is typically just those absolutely closest to you, invitations can easily be sent via email, Facebook, or even a quick text!

No matter how you choose to spread word about the party, the invitations do not need to be as formal as the wedding invitations. These invitations also do not need to be a reflection of your wedding design in any way, though they usually do incorporate aspects of your wedding design. You, or the host, can pick whatever aesthetic makes you all happy!

Pro-tip #2: If you and your host disagree on how invitations should be sent, choosing to mail more casual invitations with bright colors and fun fonts can be a good compromise!

Pro-tip #3: Take this one with a grain of salt, but… pick and choose your battles. There will probably be plenty of opinions coming your way about the wedding that you will need to navigate. If the host of this event feels really strongly about the invitations, this may not be the hill to die on. 

Who should be invited?

Who you invite depends on the overall feel you are going for. Typically it is just your immediate family and anyone who is walking down the aisle (in other words, any one who needs to attend the ceremony rehearsal). 

Here is a general outline of who is typically invited:

• Your bridal party AND a guest*

  *Not everyone has to have a guest. If they have traveled out of town with a “plus one” to your wedding, that person is usually invited to the rehearsal dinner. If you are good friends with their significant other, that person should be invited. If they are scrolling through Tinder and find someone they’d like to invite... you DEFINITELY don’t need to invite them. 

• Your immediate families (if your relationship with them allows for this)

• If the host has a larger budget and you have a large wedding guest list (usually applicable if 250+), occasionally extended family who traveled from out of town will be invited too. If you invite your out of town extended family, most people will include their in town relatives as well.

What information should the invitations include?

As always, names, date, location, and time will need to be included on the invitation. The host should also specify what kind of refreshments can be expected (appetizers only, full dinner, hosted bar, BYOB, no alcohol, etc.) Be sure to include the time and location of the actual ceremony rehearsal, too!

The rehearsal dinner host may also want to include their name and that is totally fine! People will often word the invites “The parents/aunt/cousin/friend/etc. of X invite you to the wedding rehearsal of their daughter/son/other to [Fiance name here] [list time and location]. Dinner to follow [list time and location].”

Information at a glance:

• Bride(s) & Groom(s) names

• Date

• Ceremony rehearsal time

• Ceremony rehearsal location

• “Dinner to follow at……”

• Rehearsal dinner time

• Rehearsal dinner location

Who should pay for the rehearsal dinner?

The cost of the rehearsal dinner typically will fall on the host. This varies on a case by case basis depending on financial situations. Some hosts may ask you to pay for a portion of the rehearsal dinner. If you cannot afford to fund any portion of the party, let the host know, and suggest a more casual or smaller rehearsal dinner to accommodate their budget! Much like the actual wedding, budget isn’t what defines the day. The most important aspect is celebrating your love while surrounded by the people who mean the most to you and your fiance! (See the end of blog for full example budget breakdowns.)

Where should the rehearsal dinner be hosted?

The rehearsal dinner can be hosted in any location, it will just depend on the size of the guest list, access to space, and budget. While the event can be as formal or informal as the host would like, they are usually hosted at a restaurant near the wedding venue. Choosing a private room in a restaurant can often be less expensive since so much will be included (i.e. in house catering, tables, chairs, flatware, plates, napkins, drinkware, bar, centerpieces, etc.) If a restaurant is not in the budget, a casual backyard get together is not out of the norm!

Pro-tip #4: Since the ceremony rehearsal usually takes place at the ceremony venue, it is most convenient for guests if rehearsal dinner is held at a restaurant or other location nearby. 

What should we do at the rehearsal dinner?

Eat, drink, and socialize! The rehearsal is a great opportunity to distribute gifts to the bridal party and family. It is also the perfect time to allow bridal party members who will not be giving toasts at the wedding to give a quick speech!

Is a full meal expected at the rehearsal dinner?

YES! This does not mean you have to include one, but if you do not plan to serve a full dinner, communicate that with your guests so they can plan accordingly.

Rehearsals are typically a nicer meal, but that doesn’t mean yours has to be! A backyard BBQ or quick pizza party is completely acceptable! If the host wants to go all out and provide a full 5 course, sit down dinner, that is fine, too. As long as they are paying for it, and you are comfortable with it, there are no right or wrong answers as to what should be served.

What should be included in the budget?

This completely depends on what the budget allows for and what the host chooses to include! Below are some typical things to consider budgeting for:

• Venue

• Catering

• Tables, chairs, plates, cups, flatware, napkins, etc. 

• Bar

• Cake/dessert

• Invitations

• Decor

• Miscellaneous 

Of course there are endless approaches to maximize any budget! Below are 3 example budgets for rehearsal dinners.

Example 1 (the “bells and whistles” example)- overall budget $9k

40 guests, 2.5 hour party

Party Planner- $850

Venue- Nice Restaurant (includes tables, chairs, plates, flatware, cups, and food)- @ $100/person = $4,000

Bar (through venue- beer, wine, & top shelf liquor)- @ $30/person = $1,200

Photographer- $500

Music/entertainment (Live guitarist & singer)- $600

Cake from speciality bakery (2 tier 6” base, 4” top tier)- $450

Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$5/household = $90

Decor- $1,300

1 large balloon display $200

Florist (garland runners for tables & 2 accent pieces)- $1,000

Signage (welcome sign, seating chart, place cards, etc.)- $150

TOTAL: $8,995

Example 2 (the “mid range” example)- overall budget $2k

40 guests, 2.5 hour party

Venue- mid range restaurant (includes tables, chairs, plates, flatware, cups, and food)- @ $30/person = $1,200

Bar (through venue- beer & wine only)- @ $15/person = $600

Music/entertainment (restaurant music)- FREE

Dessert provided by restaurant, included in per person cost- NO EXTRA FEE

Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$2/household = $60

Decor- $65

DIY Trader Joe’s flowers 4 bushels @ $5/each- $20

Dollar tree vases, 5 @ $1/each = $5

Signage (enlarged poster of engagement pic, printed at Costco)- $40

TOTAL: $1,922

Example 3 (the “ballin’ on a budget” example)- overall budget $350

40 guests, 2.5 hour party

Venue (backyard) - FREE

Catering (pizza party! 10 pizzas @ $13/each + tip)- $150

Tables & chairs (use friend’s folding tables & chairs, buy dollar tree table covers)- $10

Plates, plasticware, and drinkware (use disposable- comes with pizza)- FREE

Bar (6 cases of beer @$15/each)- $90

Music (make playlist and set up your own speaker)- FREE

Cake/dessert (single tier, local grocer)- $35

Invitations (Send out email or create Facebook event)- FREE

Decor- $50

DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 5 bushels @ $5/bushel = $25

Dollar store vases 1 per table @$1/each = $8

Candles & dollar tree candle votives (2 per table)- $2/each = $16

TOTAL: $335

As you can see, the third example can easily decrease in price by only offering BYOB, cutting out all decor, skipping dessert and/or ordering cheaper pizza. Basically this is all to say, no budget is too small!

Save the Dates, Invitations, and a bit on RSVPs

Sending out Save the Dates and Invitations are SUCH fun parts of wedding planning. For so many people this is the first step that makes everything feel real. Soak in these vital steps, and feel confident you are doing it right by reading the information below!

Before reading on, here are two super useful tips!

Pro-tip #1: A common mistake people make is ordering for guest count instead of household.

Mistake: ordering 250 invitations for 250 guests

Pro planning: ordering 1 invitation per household (i.e average household 3 people/house: 250 divided by 3 = ~83 Save the Dates and invitations)

Pro-tip #2: Order extra! You may want to invite additional people and you will probably want one for keepsake. While you still don’t need to order one for every single guest, rounding up is always good in case you make new friends, have people drop out that you want to replace, or just want a few extra for your own (or parents, family, close friends, etc.) keepsake! Another huge pro to this- the big name stationary sites base their discounts on round numbers, so ordering 100 vs. 84 will end up being less expensive.

Mistake- Ordering 84 save the dates/invitations for ~83 households.

Pro planning: Ordering 100 save the dates/invitations for ~83 house holds.

Save the Dates

Save the Dates are a great way to mentally prepare your guests for your upcoming wedding. You might not have all the details like time, location, attire, meal plan, etc. hammered out, but a Save the Date will let guests know the most basic information about the wedding to plan for. While these are helpful with communicating this information to guests, they do add some cost to your wedding and aren’t necessary for every situation.

When are Save the Dates REALLY needed?

Save the Dates can be useful for every wedding, but you don’t HAVE to have them for any wedding. If you are tight on money, time, or simply just don’t want them you can skip them altogether. Save the Dates are most useful when planning either a destination wedding or when planning a wedding where most of your guests will be traveling. In a situation where guests will need to be traveling it is useful to let everyone know ahead of time. Save the Dates allow guests the opportunity to save money/sent money aside for travel and gifts, communicate with work, and plan for childcare (if necessary).

When should I send my Save the Dates out?

Save the Dates can be sent whenever you have solidified a date and location. You can technically send them before a venue is booked if you are 100% positive of the city and date the wedding will be held, but it is best to send them once the venue is booked. Couples will often fall in love with a venue that isn’t available on their desired date, so they change the date to accommodate the venue. If the date you have chosen means a lot to you and you are positive you will be selecting a venue based on the date and not the other way around, go ahead and send the Save the Dates!

If you are having a lot of out of town guests or planning a destination wedding Save the Dates ideally will be sent a full year in advance. If your wedding is more intimate and still requires a majority of guests to travel, Save the Dates should be sent in the 6-8 month prior range, if possible. If you are planning a more intimate wedding in a shorter time span it may be more efficient to skip the Save the Dates, touch base personally with guests to give them a heads up, and send invitations a little sooner than you would typically.

What is the latest I should send a Save the Date?

This, again, will vary depending on the situation. The absolute latest in any situation that you should send a Save the Date is 2 months out from the wedding (and this still only works for a really intimate wedding with short planning period). For a larger wedding this deadline should be by the 4 month mark. For a larger travel heavy wedding this deadline should be 5 months out. If you can’t make this deadline, skip the Save the Dates altogether and just send an invitation. Even for an intimate wedding, 2 months would be cutting it pretty close. Keep in mind, you will need to confirm with the venue and caterers the final headcount about a month prior to the wedding so you need to have time for people to receive their Save the Date and invitation and then RSVP.

What information should my Save the Dates include?

Save the Dates are just a quick, formal heads up to guests that you will be hosting a wedding on a particular date in a certain city. At minimum the Save the Date should include your names, date, and city. A lot of couples will build a wedding website and include that on the Save the Date as well. Even if the wedding website isn’t 100% completed (and frankly at this point it probably won’t be) providing the link will give guests a resource to check in to for more information as it is made available. If you have your venue locked in you can also include this in the Save the Date.

What should my Save the Dates look like?

Like everything else with a wedding, this completely depends on what you want. A common trend is for people to use a photo from their engagement session as the background of their Save the Date. Another common trend is for people to make their Save the Dates magnets so people can keep them on their fridge or somewhere convenient to find the information.

Invitations

What information should I include in my invitations?

Invitations should be a quick snapshot of all the vital information guests need to know in order to show up to the right place at the right time on the right day. They should include the who, what, when, where, and why of the day (not necessarily in that order). Include both the bride(s) and/or groom(s) names. If someone other than yourselves are paying for a chunk, the majority, or all of the wedding it is common to word your invitation: “X and X invite you to the wedding of their [son/daughter/other- name] to [fiance name here].” The name and address of the venue is vital. They will also need to know what time to arrive. If you have a wedding website you can include the website and let people know that they can RSVP and find more info there. If you don’t have a wedding website, you’ll need to include an RSVP card and pre-stamped envelope for guests to send back. You’ll also need to include a meal card if necessary, attire expectation (even if super casual, let them know!! No one wants to show up in a ball gown when everyone else is in sun dresses!), whether kids are invited or not, hotel block information (even if you don’t have a room block, they will need to know!), transportation accommodations, and information on events surrounding the wedding (pre-wedding welcome event, after wedding brunch etc.). Again, if you have a wedding website, you can list all of this info on the website and have your invite include just the very basics.

Pro-tip: directing guests to a wedding website for more info is a great option if possible. You can update information as plans evolve, include an FAQ page so guests can refer to this instead of having everyone individually reach out to you with questions, and, last but certainly not least, you can have your registry on your website so when guests visit to RSVP they can conveniently purchase a gift.

What should my invitations look like?

Again, the aesthetics of the invitations completely depend on your taste. If possible, it is ideal to have your invitations aesthetic inline with your wedding. Chose colors, shapes, and fonts that are relatively similar to those that will be at your wedding. This will help with a few things. First, this will give guests an idea of what to expect. It can set the tone of formality and give them an idea into color scheme. If you don’t want people to dress in the same colors as your bridal party or vice versa, let them know! Either way, invitations are a great ay to start communicating what those colors will be. Second, photographers love to capture your invitation as a prop on the wedding day. Having this match the overall aesthetic will create for some more cohesive pictures. Again, this is just a suggestion. It is your wedding and there are no rules; do literally whatever you want.

When should I send my invitations?

This will vary depending on a few factors. Some things to consider: when do you need to confirm numbers with the caterer and venue? How many people will be traveling for your wedding? How many people are you inviting (the more people you invite, the more people you will need to track down to confirm RSVP status!!)? For reference, for an average wedding of 150 guests with 33% traveling domestically, you should send the invitations out 2.5 months prior to the wedding, with the RSVP date 1-1.5 months prior to the wedding depending on catering and venue requirements.

When should I have guests RSVP by?

For your own sake, it is best to set the RSVP date at least 1 month prior to your date. Guest count will alter your seat/table count, plate count, party favor count, etc. Never have I ever been a part of a wedding of any size where 100% of the guests RSVP on time on their own without a nudge. Giving yourself some extra time will help alleviate some of the planning that just can’t be done until the final headcount is in. While a month is the minimum, I highly recommend giving yourself at least 1.5 months so you have a full 2 weeks to track people down and get all RSVPs. If you are having a wedding with over 250 guests, give yourself a full 2 months. Even if you are having a wedding of 1,000 don’t give yourself more than 2 months, though. Expectedly, things happen in our guests lives and anything longer than 2 months will allow for too many unforeseeable variables in guests lives and you’ll have to do a lot of adjusting as people’s plans change.

Some great resources to purchase your Save the Dates and/or invitations

There are plenty of boutique vendors that can create incredible custom pieces for you. Everyone will have a different niche aesthetic. If you are looking for something on the less niche and more affordable end check out the following:

www.vistaprint.com

Why I love them- you can really create whatever look you are going for. There are some preset templates you can use if you are ~creatively challenged~ or you can fully customize your own cards if you’re into DIYing the design. Their prints are consistent and good quality. Another huge plus, they are CHEAP.

Pro-tip- Google discount codes before ordering! They are almost ALWAYS running a special. If you can’t find one, create an account BEFORE creating your cards. Save your design and then sit back and wait. Within a week they will email you a discount code.

www.minted.com

Why I love them- Their designs are lovely, their prints are consistent, and they give my clients a discount. Use my code: WEDPLLA for 35% off Save the Dates and 25% off all wedding things.

www.basicinvite.com

Why I love them- My very favorite thing about this site is they offer clear invitations for about $1 each. The next least expensive clear option I have found is $8/each. The price is unbeatable. They offer plenty of other designs or fully customizable blank slate options as well. The prints are consistent and good quality. They allow you to fully customize the invitations and Save the Dates.

Pro-tip- look for discount codes! They aren’t as common as Vistaprint discount codes, but their prices are already lower so it balances out. It is still worth looking for a code though!

Have additional questions? Feel free to reach out via email! theweddingplannerla@gmail.com

As always, happy planning!!

10 Ways to Stay Organized While Wedding Planning

Staying organized is key when it comes to wedding planning! While this may come more naturally for some than others, getting an early start to organization will help everyone equally. If you have found yourself already knee deep in wedding planning with no real organization plan, don’t fret! It is never too late to get on top of organization! Here are 10 great ways to get and stay organized throughout wedding planning!

1. Create a wedding email and check it often.

   Having an email specific to your wedding is helpful for two main reasons. First, this will help keep all of your wedding related emails organized and in one place. Second, once the wedding is over, this will save you from having promotional emails sent from vendors crowding your regular email’s inbox! Having a separate email will only work if you check it often, though!

2. Keep all of your wedding information in one spot.

   There are many ways to go about this. I have come across some amazing hard copy wedding planning journal style books, however, I highly recommend going digital. This allows you to easily edit or add information as your planning evolves. I personally love Google Docs for this. With this platform it is simple to keep your information organized, the documents are easy to send out if you need to share any of the information, you can save all of your contracts into your Google Doc wedding folder, and you can invite your fiancé, bridal party, parents, planner, or whoever else to edit relevant documents (think: to-do lists!!). No matter what platform you choose, it is immensely helpful to keep everything together in one space!

3. Make a planning timeline.

   Map out the days/months/years that you have to plan your wedding and then breakdown your vendor searches and planning process into smaller more manageable timeframes. Take into consideration what will be going on in your personal life during this time, and plan your planning around that! Mapping out your “plan of attack” for wedding planning will help you feel confident you are making progress, help you stay on top of your to-do list, and (hopefully) make the whole wedding planning process more fun!! Click here for more on creating a planning timeline.

4. Create a budget outline.

   I may be a little budget obsessed, but it is for good reason! Budget is important! Not-so-fun fact: I once had a friend blow their budget by $60k. That was 200% their initial budget. So how did that happen? The budget wasn’t being tracked and it wasn’t accurately assessed before vendors started being booked. Avoid this situation by creating a full budget breakdown BEFORE booking any vendors. Do some research to make sure your estimates are accurate and allocate money to the things you value most. This will guide every single aspect of your wedding planning, so it is important to get a head start on this early on! Make sure that you stay within budget (or consciously decide to extend the budget) by carefully tracking every expenditure. If you have multiple people funding the wedding, track who paid what, when and using which method. This will be important not only for tracking your budget, but also for tracking what outstanding balances you still have coming. Click here for more on creating a budget outline.

5. Create a Pinterest board(s).

   Wedding planning in the days of Pinterest has been a joy. There is a world of inspiration out there just waiting for you to tap into it. While scrolling through the millions of inspiration pictures your vision may change and that is okay! As your vision shifts, take away pins that are no longer inspiring to you. If you like something about a picture, make a note of what it is specifically that makes you want to incorporate this into your wedding. Pinterest boards are great to share with your wedding planner, florist, decorator, hair and makeup team, and baker, so keep is up to date and organized! Pro-tip: bare budget in mind when looking through Pinterest. Pinterest doesn’t filter for price, and it can be painful to fall in love with a dress or floral arrangement. That being said, just because something looks super expensive doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be. If you really love something, look into it! Maybe it is more attainable than you initially thought! Visit The Wedding Planner LA Pinterest page for inspiration!

6. Keep a running list of booked vendors.

   Have your basic vendor info all on one page so you can find the necessary info at a glance instead of shuffling through contracts. You can format this however works best for you, but it is super useful to include the following information for each vendor all compiled in one document:

   1. Service being provided

   2. Company name

   3. Contact person name

   4. Contact person email & phone number

   5. Number of hours booked (start and end time as soon as known!)

   6. Remaining balance, payment due date(s), and preferred payment method

   7. If they require a vendor meal & dietary restrictions if applicable (usually this will be your planner/coordination team, photographer, videographer, DJ/Musician, and anyone else onsite for longer than 5 hours).

   8. Instagram handle

7. Make lists.

   Lists are your friend. List out everything. Your big to-do list, smaller to-do list, wedding vendor research information, style inspiration, etc. Lists are great because you can track your progress and remember all of the little details that you have been or intend to work on.

8. Build a wedding website.

   This will save you SO. MUCH. WORK. A wedding website will do a lot of organizing for you. Have your registry on the website to easily track gifts. You can even track who you have already sent thank you cards to! Have guests RSVP on the website to easily track those. Provide useful information and updates about the wedding so you don’t have 50 guests calling to ask the same question. A wedding website is an incredibly useful tool

9. Send thank you cards as you receive gifts.

   Speaking of your registry and thank you cards, stay organized and save yourself a lot of time by writing thank you cards as you receive gifts. It is easier to track this if you have a wedding website, but even if you are going a less techy route, be sure to list the gifts you have received, immediately send a thank you, and track the thank you’s once you have sent them. Pro-tip: Trying to write 100 thank you’s at once is daunting and tiresome. Sending thank you’s as gifts come in will allow you the time to write a thoughtful response.

10. Create a seating chart.

    First, let me say, creating a draft of this is helpful if you find yourself randomly with a few extra hours in a day, but you cannot finalize your seating chart until you get your RSVPs back. Second, this topic deserves its own blog. Check back for that one soon! In the meantime, here are two very vague reasons why a seating chart is useful:

    1. Food service. If you are doing plated dinner, you need people committed to a seat so that they can have the meal they were intended. If you are doing food buffet style you need everyone evenly distributed so when table 1 is called there is a predictable amount of people coming over for the catering staff. If you are doing family style, you need to know exactly how many people will be at each table in order to distribute food properly.

    2. Think back to your days of eating lunch at your high school cafeteria. It’s the first day of school and everyone is figuring out who to sit with. There are large groups of people who all love each other and want to sit together so 20 of them crowd around one lunch bench. There are five kids who are kind of friends with some of those people and they want to hang out with them, but they don’t see room for themselves. They scatter and feel a little hurt they weren’t specifically invited to the big table. There is the kid who doesn’t really know anyone so they sit off by themselves in a corner and don’t socialize with anyone. There is also everyone in between. Get ahead of the drama by assigning seats. It will make everyones life easier in the long run

Select Your Vendors Like a Pro

Selecting vendors can be a daunting task. There are SO many options out there so how can you be sure you are making a good choice? It is challenging selecting vendors that fit in your budget or are worth stretching the budget for! There are a few specific steps I take when sifting through and vetting vendors before sending them to my clients. Follow these steps and you’ll be picking vendors like a pro!

***Before you get going on vendor research, I highly recommend making a full budget!! Making a full, realistic budget will help guide your vendor selection. See my full budget guide here***

Decide on a general vision for each specific vendor-

Before diving into the deep end of vendor research, have an idea of what you are after. A few things to shape this vision: budget, what you hope to get out of your contract with this vendor (i.e. how many hours, how many assistants, etc.), what “style” do you want (i.e. what kind of venue do you want, what style of photography do you like, what kind of food do you want, etc.).

1. Venue- indoor, outdoor, mix of both, beach, woods, mountains, all inclusive, DIY, somewhere in between, how late do you want to be there into the evening, will they be hosting other events in the space that day, will they take care of trash removal, do they provide restrooms, power, or any other basic amenities, do they provide tables, chairs, an arbor, a bar space,etc.? For reference, a wedding with 100 guests at a venue that provides only power and restrooms will cost about $7k in rentals, if you go with the most basic rental options. This should absolutely be factored in to your overall cost when selecting a venue.

2. Wedding Planner- do you want to be involved in wedding planning or do you want to think about it as little as possible? You will spend a lot of time with your wedding planner and your wedding planner needs to be able to see YOUR vision in order to create your special day. Make sure that this is someone you are ready and excited to spend time with!

3. Photographer- do you want light and airy, dark and moody, true to color, posed photos, raw emotions, or a mix, how many hours will you need them, do you need 2 photographers or will one suffice (2 are recommended for larger guest counts and spread out venues), do you want an engagement shoot, how many photos are you hoping to get back? Ask to see a full wedding album instead of just the highlights!

4. Videographer- what do you want included in the video? Montage of key events throughout the day, full vows, speeches, and special dances, or a combo of the above? Be sure to look through several examples so you have a clear idea of what your edit will include.

5. Caterer- what kind of food do you want, how will it be served, will they provide apps as well, do they offer plates, cups, and flatware rentals, how experienced are they with larger events, do they provide bussers?

6. DJ/Musician- will they make announcements for you throughout the event, how many sound systems will they bring (you will need 2-3 for most venues if you are doing ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception in different spaces), will they allow you to provide song requests, do they have experience playing to a crowd, can they provide a microphone for the ceremony and reception, how active are they on the mic? HINT: A sound system is the full set up which will include a set of speakers (1-2 speakers for ceremony cocktail hour, 2+ speakers for dinner/dancing), microphone (confirm this with your DJ! Some charge extra), amp, mixer, music device (usually a laptop), and dance floor lighting (where appropriate).

7. Bar- do you need a full service bar, or would you like to build your own bar and hire just the bartenders? Will your venue allow you to DIY the bar? If you are DIYing the bar, will you ned to rent the physical bar? Are you bartenders licensed?

8. Florist- do you want more “traditional” bouquets and centerpieces or would you like something else? Are you looking for other decor rental? A lot of florists also offer vases, candles, and other decor to add to your order. Be sure to look through their portfolios! If you have a go-to florist you typically use, but are looking for a different style, show them some examples of what you would like and see if it is something they have experience with or feel comfortable doing. A lot of florists will do special designs that are outside of their norm but not show examples of this work on their Instagram or website because it isn’t “on brand.”

9. Dessert- what kind of dessert do you want, how do you want your cake to look, how many tiers do you wants the cake to have, will they deliver or do your desserts need to be picked up?

10. Hair and makeup- up-do, hair down, braiding, something in between, heavy contour makeup, natural look, something in between? Be sure to look through portfolios and ask for a trial run day! Trial runs are very important! Not just to make sure you like the styles they come up with but also to see how long your hair and makeup are holding up throughout the day.

11. Rentals- does the company offer unique pieces that will work with your venue, are the rates competitive with other comparable companies in your area, what will they charge for delivery, do they offer same day delivery and pick up, can they extend delivery and pick up is necessary?

Do your own research-

Recommendations from friends or professionals are a great place to start, but doing your own research to make sure they are a good fit for you is vital. Just because a friend or professional has had a good experience with someone, doesn’t mean they are going to be a great fit for you! Friends of friends may offer discounts, but if these people are not professionals then you may be wasting $400 instead of feeling good about spending $800. Ask to see pictures or videos of these “friendors” in action! If they do this professionally on the side, ask for a website or review site link! I’ve seen plenty of vendors that recommend other vendors that they haven’t worked with for a long time. Business quality can change overtime so it is important to confirm the recommended company is still worth your while!

Diversify your Research sources-

Conduct research from a few different angles. A quick google search might not yield the kind of options that you are looking for. WeddingWire, The Knot, Thumbtack, Facebook wedding groups, and sites like these will give you more diverse vendor options! Depending on the type of vendor you are looking for search on Instagram, too!

Always cross reference reviews-

Reviews can vary from platform to platform so it is important to cross reference and be sure that you are getting the most recent takes on the company. Some insight into review companies: anyone can leave a company reviews on Google so companies may ask their friends to leave reviews to raise their overall rating. WeddingWire is similar, but it is more challenging to leave a review on, so friends are less likely to pad the reviews for vendors. Yelp has an algorithm that is meant to weed out “fake” reviews, but a lot of real reviews are taken down in the process (there are also a lot of theories on their marketing approach that can also affect the reviews that show). Be sure to scroll down on the Yelp pages to the “unrecommended” section to read reviews that aren’t weighted in overall.

Read reviews with a different perspective-

Even if you like the quote a company sends and they have five stars across review platforms, be sure to read the reviews and look for consistencies. For example, if I’m looking for DJ/MCs and I see a lot of five star reviews saying how the MC "is really active on the mic,” I’m not going to send that company to a couple who really just wants music and a few key announcements.

Schedule phone or in-person meetings before booking-

It is important to feel comfortable on your wedding day and your vendors a huge part of your comfort! You will spend so much time with certain vendors on your actual wedding day, and even the ones that you won’t, they will still interact with guests! If you have a vendor that runs a little high strung, they may create unnecessary anxiety on your special day. A great way to accommodate this is to make sure your personalities mesh beforehand!

Read through your contracts very, very closely-

This is a legally binding document that should protect you as well as the vendor. Make sure that there is fine print written in about what will happen in the event of cancelation (on either the couple AND vendors part). Numbers and dates should be firm (I.e. by what date will you get sneak peek pics back, when can you expect the full album back, how many photos can you expect back, etc. These examples are specific to photos, but all contracts should be quantitative and clear. This does not apply when booking a wedding planner if you don’t already have a venue secured). A contract that doesn’t protect you is definitely a red flag!! If you find any of these issues and bring them up to a vendor and they are unwilling to adjust the contract to protect you, that is a major red flag and a good sign that you should continue your search!

Other notable tips:

1. A vendor’s experience doesn’t necessarily chalk up to quality of service! Just because someone hasn’t been working weddings specifically for a long time doesn’t mean they should be immediately counted out. If you like their style, food, etc., they are well informed on the effort that weddings take, and they are ready to do what it takes to do an awesome job on your wedding they are still worth considering. If you unsure about them, ask your wedding planner or coordinator! They may be able to offer valuable insight to make sure you are making the best decisions for your wedding!

2. Break up your search into several days. It is easy to get burnt out on sifting through vendors. Packages start to run together, things that would normally stick out become easy to overlook, and the whole experience may become less enjoyable.

3. Be thorough! Don’t settle! You can find the perfect vendor out there for you!

Be sure to check out my preferred vendors list to kick start your search!

Useful links:

Budget planning tips: https://www.theweddingplannerla.com/blog/wedding-budgeting-the-first-step-to-planning

My preferred vendors: https://www.theweddingplannerla.com/resources

Day of Decor/Photo Op Props Checklist

As you think through your wedding day and are organizing the pieces you have bought or rented, work through this list to make sure you have accounted for everything! This will be particularly helpful as you are in those final stages and packing everything up to be moved to the venue! Remember, every wedding is unique and you may not want to incorporate some of these pieces. If you don’t want some piece, don’t force it just because it is on this list! If you have planned for other pieces, feel free to copy and paste this then add in your own specific bullet points.

Getting Ready Space:

• Food

• Something to serve food on

• Plates

• Napkins

• Drinks

• Something to serve drinks from

• Something to drink drinks from

• Signage

• Invitation/Save the Dates (for pictures)

• Speakers to play music from

• Phone or other device to play music from (pro tip: if you are getting ready in a place that won’t have wifi or cell reception download your playlist ahead of time!)

• Special hanger for dress

• Something to wear while getting ready

Ceremony:

• Altar flowers

• Altar Floor decor

• Aisle decor

• Ceremony programs

• Table for special ceremonies (i.e. sand ceremony, glass ceremony, wine ceremony, etc.)

• Decor for special ceremony table

• Signs (welcome, unplugged ceremony signs, etc.)

• Easel for signs

Cocktail Hour:

Gift table

• Linen

• Sign for gift table

• Card box

• Guest book

• Pen(s) for guest book

• Something to hold pens

• Decor for gift table

• Flowers for gift table

Appetizer table

• Linen

• Signs/labels for apps

• Serving utensils for apps

• Plates

• Forks

• Napkins

Self service drink station table

• Linen

• Drink dispenser

• Labels for beverages

• Cups

Bar

• Bar menu

• Flowers

Reception Area:

Seating chart

• Easel for seating chart

• Flowers to dress up easel

Place card table

• Linen

• Place cards

• Sign for place cards

• Flowers

• Other decor

Cake/dessert table

• Linen

• Display for cake

• Cake topper

• Serving set of cake knife and server

• Plates for cake

• Forks for cake

• Napkins

• Cake stand(s)

• Other display items for other desserts

• Other decor

• Flowers

Sweetheart table

• Linen

• Special plates

• Special cups

• Flatware

• Napkins

• Flowers for the top of table

• Other decor for top of table

• Flowers for front of table

• Other decor for front of table

Guest tables

• Linen

• Flowers

• Candles

• Table number

• Table number stands

• Other decor/personal touches

• Plates

• Flatware

• Drinkware

• Napkins

What Information to Share With a Wedding Coordinator

A wedding coordinator is immensely valuable. You are essentially investing in your peace of mind on the day of your wedding. With adequate prep, a great coordinator will walk into your wedding day ready to take care of the details and make sure that all of your hard work is brought together just the way you wanted it. In order to do this, though, there has to be ample communication between you and the coordinator leading up to the day of your wedding. Prior to your wedding good coordinator is going to work with you in the weeks leading up to your special day to thoroughly discuss your plans, vendor contracts, and vision to help you catch any missing details, find solutions to potential issues, and make informed suggestions on how to create the best flow possible for your wedding day. A coordinator will do their absolute best work when all necessary information is communicated!

What to share with your coordinator:

1. ALL vendor information- If you have booked a vendor because you are getting married, your wedding coordinator needs their information! Send each vendor’s company name, service they are providing, contact person’s name, email address, phone number, and contracted start and end times. Sharing this information will take a ton of pressure off you immediately. Instead of turning to you to fill in arrival time, start time, and strike time of all vendors, the coordinator can begin communicating directly with the vendors. Once the coordinator reaches out, those vendors begin to ask them logistical questions instead of you! As a coordinator, I prefer to have every vendor’s contract. Your coordinator may not necessarily need each one, but it is always best to have them on hand in case anything comes up before or during your wedding so that they can easily find information without having to bother you for basic information.

2. Order lists from vendors- If you have rentals, florals, food, or anything else being dropped off by vendors make sure the coordinator has a list of what needs to be accounted for. Every now and then pieces will be missing from orders. The coordinator can ensure those items are either brought by the rental company later, make sure you are reimbursed for the missing items (depending on time), and/or find replacement items from another company on the spot! *If you aren’t able to share this information, by sharing the contact info, the coordinator can collect the order lists from the vendors on their own!

3. Venue rules and regulations- typically the venue will share this information, but if you already have this information (you should receive it at the time of booking) share it with the coordinator! They may catch some logistical issues, such as trash removal, time restrictions, or other potential issues that can be avoided if thought through ahead of time. When wedding planning there is a ton of information coming at you from a lot of different vendors so it is easy to overlook some of these details. Your coordinator is there to advocate and problem solve with you, but they need all the tools to be able to do this to the best of their ability!

4. Getting ready information- Even if your coordinator won’t be onsite while you are getting ready, sharing this information is important. The photographer, videographer, hair and makeup teams, or even members of your bridal party may need this information. Instead of sharing with everyone individually, sharing with your coordinator streamlines this information into the timeline which will go out to everyone at once. Your coordinator may also catch some logistical issues with transportation, access to water or food, or other details that may have slipped through the cracks!

5. Any rough draft timeline you may have- I typically try to connect with my clients within a few weeks of booking to create a rough draft timeline, even if their wedding is months away. This helps with logistics when booking other vendors. If you already have a rough draft, share it with your coordinator! Most coordinators will help create your timeline, but if you already have one this is a great baseline for the coordinator to build off of. There are, of course, a lot of logistics to think through when mapping out a timeline, but this is YOUR wedding so the order that you want events is the most important thing for coordinators to consider. 

6. Floor plan- if you already have a floor plan, share it with your coordinator! This is the person that will be onsite to make sure everything is coming together while you are focused on getting ready and getting MARRIED!! In order to create the wedding you have worked so hard to put together, your coordinator needs the floor plan! Sometimes the venue will send this over, some coordinators will even help finalize this, but no matter how it is finalized they need a copy!!

7. Decor list & set-up plan- As intuitive as coordinators can be, they aren’t mind readers! You have worked so hard to create your overall aesthetic, so make sure that your efforts are put into practice. Let your coordinator know exactly what pieces of decor you have, where they belong, and how you’d like them arranged. Even if you have hired a decorator, communicate these pieces to your coordinator so you have an extra set of eyes on the project to make sure everything is being done the way you want! If you have a lot of decorations that you don’t have a predetermined vision for, let your coordinator know! They usually have a great eye for design and would be happy to bring this together- but they will need to know this is the case!

8. The name’s of everyone in your bridal party- The bridesmaids and groomsmen are not only likely participating in some key moments for your day, they are also your best friends and therefore a great ally to both you and your coordination team!

9. Ceremony plan & details - Your coordinator will need to know the names and order of everyone walking in the ceremony. They will also need to know who will be sitting, who will be standing, where those sitting will sit, the order in which those standing will stand, the music you plan to use for your ceremony, and which groups will be walking to which songs. They will also need to know about any special ceremonies you plan to have during your wedding ceremony.

10. Any and everything you know about your wedding! The coordinator needs all of the information in your brain to be in their brain! It sounds like a lot of information to share, BUT once they have this knowledge you can take a huge sigh of relief. Your coordinator can take it from there. They may need to ask you a few opinion questions on details after that point, but everything else logistics wise can be taken care of between the vendors!

You gave yourself a gift by hiring a coordinator! You don’t need to worry about anything once you let your coordinator take the reigns! All you need to do is give them all the information in order to maximize the services you have hired them to perform. So share, share, share, then sit back, relax and GET MARRIED!!

Wedding Planning Timeline Outline

Wedding planning is different for everyone and everyone operates on their own timeline. Some people are more comfortable having two years or longer to plan while others only take a few months to plan! This list is a general outline of a suggested timeframe to get the larger tasks done. Of course, you may not want all of these vendors or perhaps you want additional vendors. If you are unsure of how to work those vendors into this overview feel free to reach out! I’m always happy to guide people through the planning process!

I always start with my Full and Partial Planning clients by creating a customized planning outline for them. It is important for me to make sure that the outline both manageable but also realistic. We typically start broad, and then fill in the finer details to make sure everything is done, done well, and done in a timely manor so everyone is happy and no one is overwhelmed!

18-12 months before the wedding

• Have engagement party (typically hosted by family or close friends)

• Decide on a budget and determine what aspects of the wedding you value the most

  Pro-tip: everyone has different things they care about most for their wedding! Decide what you are most looking forward to and what you’d like to allocate a bigger portion of your budget to!

• Decide whether or not you want to purchase event insurance for both the day of (some venues will require this anyway) and also in the event you need to cancel or reschedule for any reason (illness, weather, etc.)

• Decide whether or not you want a wedding planner.

  Pro-tip: If you decide against one initially, but ultimately decide to go with one later on, plenty of planners offer partial planning options! If you are planning a destination wedding outside of your home country, a planner is critical!

• Decide on the time of year you’d like the wedding to take place

• Narrow the date down to a few options

  Pro-tip: unless you are 100% married to a date in your mind, find a few dates, or a range of dates, that you are open to! This will help if you decide on a high-demand venue with a tendency to book out far in advance!

• Create a rough outline of the guest list to help guide your venue search

  Pro-tip: Have at least a ballpark figure of how many guests you will host before you decide on a venue! Many venue’s can only accommodate a set number of guests, so it is important to find one that can hold all of your guests!

• Book a venue (both ceremony & reception spaces if you choose to have the ceremony at a separate location)

• Create day-of timeline draft

  Pro-tip: you can (and will!) make changes to this timeline as you work your way through planning, but having a general idea of the timing of key events on your wedding day will help as you book vendors!

12-8 months before the wedding

• Book caterer (if not included with the venue)

• Book photographer

  Pro-tip: it is best to do this before creating save the dates if you want to use pictures from the engagement pictures for your save the dates!

• Have engagement shoot with photographer

• Figure out what items are not provided by the venue or caterer and source them through a rental company

• Create wedding website for guests to find relevant information, registry, and RSVP.

• If the majority of your guests are traveling from out of town, create save the dates & send them!

• Begin looking for attire (i.e. wedding dress & tux/suit)

  Pro-tip: on average, wedding dresses are purchased 8 months prior to the wedding, but as long as it is purchased with enough time to have it altered (2-3 months prior) you will be okay.

• Ask friends/family to be in your bridal party

8-6 months before the wedding

• Book bartender if not included with the venue or caterer

• Book a florist and discuss what arrangements will work best with your budget and desired aesthetic

• Book videographer

• Book DJ or band for the reception and ceremony.

  Pro-tip: Remember, many ceremony locations will need an outside sound systems brought in. Make sure that if this is the case with your venue your DJ or musician can make this accommodation

• If most of your guests are local send your save the dates

• Create a room block for out of town guests

• Reserve transportation from hotel to venue and from venue to hotel for bridal party and other guests

• Find a seamstress to alter your dress (you won’t be able to alter this far out, but it is important to reserve your space, as many people will book up)

• Book day-of-coordinator if you have chosen not to have a full planner or if your planner does not include day of services

• Begin working on playlists & song choices for special moments/dances

6-4 months before the wedding

• Begin planning your honeymoon

• Pick out attire for bridesmaids & groomsmen

• Find hair and makeup artist(s) and have a trial run

  Pro-tip: trials aren’t meant to be perfect! They are learning experience for you and your makeup professional. Your professional is learning your skin tone, facial structure, and general preferences. You are learning how your preferred style translates to your face, how well your hair and makeup will hold up throughout the day, and, of course, figuring out if your hair and makeup team is able to hear your feedback and make adjustments accordingly. Now, if by the end of the trial the professional hasn’t earned your trust, of course, consider finding someone who can achieve your hair and makeup goals. It is much better to have this revelation during a trial than on your actual wedding day!

• Hire an officiant

• Order the wedding cake and/or other desserts

• Begin planning gifts for bridal party

• Make reservations at a hotel for bridal party, bride/groom, and family for the wedding night

• Select & order wedding rings

4-2 months before the wedding

• Pick out shoes to wear with your wedding dress

• Take dress to seamstress

• Begin writing wedding vows

• Begin planning bachelor/bachelorette parties

• Begin purchasing decor/personal touches OR decide on decor rental company

• Schedule rehearsal time with venue and reserve a location for rehearsal dinner

  Pro-tip: most venues will allow you to schedule this 45-90 days prior to your scheduled wedding day.

• Apply for marriage license

  Pro-tip: In California 9and many other states), you can apply for your marriage license up to 90 days in advance. Appointments can be difficult to come by! Be sure to schedule an appointment early!

• Design, order, & send invitations

  Pro-tip: If most of your guests are coming from out of town, send the invitations 3.5 months in advance. If most guests are local send invitations 2.5 months before the wedding. Either way, the RSVP date should be no less than 1.5 months prior to your wedding date.

  Pro-tip: RSVP dates should be no less than 1.5 months prior to the wedding, but ideally no more than 2.5 months in advance. 1.5 months allows you time to follow up with guests who haven’t RSVPd prior to any final head count dates w/ the venue, caterer, etc. Any date much more than 2.5 months in advance allows guests a lot of opportunity for things to come up that will change their RSVP response and you’ll find yourself needing to reconfirm numbers with vendors and reworking seating charts!

2-1 month before the wedding

• Bridal shower (typically family or bridal party will plan this)

• Bachelor/Bachelorette parties (if most of your bridal party will be traveling for the wedding, consider having these earlier so that you aren’t asking your friends to travel too much too close together)

• Make sure all bridal party have purchased or reserved their attire for the wedding

• If any bridal party needs alterations, these should be dropped off

• Plan party favors for guests and order the items you need

• RSVPs due- check in with guests who have not responded to invitations yet

• Have final venue walk through

• Create floor plan(s)

• Creating seating chart

• Decide on ceremony details:

  • Processional song(s)

  • Who will walk in your ceremony

  • What order they are walking in

  • Who will stand for your ceremony & the order they are standing in

  • Who will sit after walking in processional & where they will sit

  • If you want any special ceremonies, readings, songs, etc.

  • Recessional song

  • Who will participate in the recessional

  • Where you will go after you recess

  • Where your bridal party and/or family will go after you recess

  • Who your witnesses will be

  • Who will carry rings and vows for ceremony

1 month before the wedding

• Send all song requests to DJ

• Check in with vendors to confirm services, obtain insurance policies (if required by venue), and track any outstanding balances remaining

• Revise timeline & make sure it is up to date with your wants/needs & vendor contracted times

• Send timeline to vendors

• Collect vendor insurance information & share with venue

• Have final dress fitting (this way there is still time if any other alterations need to be made)

• Finalize and confirm all details of honeymoon

• Decide what order you will have bridal party walk for the ceremony and grand entrance

• Finalize floor plan with venue

• Check in with caterer to confirm headcount and finalize the details of the menu

• Pick up dress from alterations if it had to be left behind for further alterations

• Make sure all bridal party has picked up dresses/suits from alterations

• Pick out outfit for rehearsal dinner

3 weeks before the wedding

• Map out all decor and organize it into clearly marked boxes to ensure everything is set up properly on the day of your wedding

• Begin writing thank you notes for any gifts that have already been purchased from your registry

• Finalize wedding vows

• Finalize all song selections (i.e. first dance, parent dances, cake cutting, grand entrance, etc.)

2 weeks before the wedding

• Have final meeting with DJ to go over details

• Have final meeting with photo & video teams to go over details

• Finalize seating chart and transfer it to display form

  Pro-tip: this may seem a little last minute, but THINGS HAPPEN! Last minute guest cancellations and last minute guest confirmations come up so it is best to save this for as late as possible without letting it fall by the wayside!

1 week before the wedding

• Get hair done (color and cut)

• Create day-of checklist to make sure that no personal items or decor is left behind

• Get nails done

• If spray tanning, get spray tan (ideally 36-48 hrs prior to wedding)

• Prepare all bridal party gifts

1 day before the wedding

• Pack for wedding day/night

• Pack for honeymoon

• Have ceremony rehearsal

• Have rehearsal dinner

• Give bridal party gifts out at rehearsal dinner

• Go home. Sleep well

The wedding day

• Read through the timeline in the morning

• Be sure to eat!

• Get ready

• Get MARRIED!

• Have fun :)

DIY: Is it right for me, how much should I do, and how do I get started?

When getting started on wedding planning I think most people go through a few stages. Stage 1: excitement! You just got engaged and you’re stoked! Stage 2: overwhelmed. You jump on Pinterest, maybe do a little venue research and suddenly feel like there are 10 million decisions to make and have a quick panic. Stage 3: confidence. You book that first vendor and suddenly feel like you’re back on top of the wedding planning game. Stage 4-6: repeat stages 1-3 a few times. Stage 7: check in on how much you’ve spent and toy with the idea of cancelling everything and eloping instead. Stage 8: realize you don’t want to cancel your wedding and consider planting a garden so you can do your own wedding flowers for free. Stage 9: repeat stages 1-3 again. Stage 10: acceptance and love. Your wedding day comes and everything is okay, because you got to marry your person and that was all that ever mattered.

At some point in the wedding planning process most couples are faced with a choice: what can I DIY and what should I buy? I adore DIY Weddings. But, as much as it pains me, a huge focus of this blog will be “is DIY for me?” and “how much DIY is too much DIY?” We are going to tackle this topic by answering a few questions: first, “I want a DIY wedding will it work for me?” second, “what kind of things are easy to DIY?”, and finally, “is there a such thing as too much DIY?”

I WANT TO DIY BUT IS IT RIGHT FOR ME??

To figure this out you need to ask yourself a few questions:

• What time frame am I working with? Are you planning a wedding 2 years away or 6 months away?

• How much time every week will I be able to spend working on these projects? Maybe you are planning a wedding 2 years away but you work 60 hour weeks and won’t have as much time to spend. Maybe you are getting married in 6 months but have a lot of time to dedicate to wedding preparations.

• Am I crafty or is this new territory for me? Being already crafty is a huge plus, but don’t count yourself out on the DIY if you aren’t already into crafting. Just take into consideration, if you are new to crafting you may need a little more time and support to bring some of your ideas to life.

• What is my support system like? Think about your friends and family. Are they involved in your wedding planning? Do they have time to help you with projects? It is important to look at this really carefully. Remember, it is your wedding and nobody is going to care about it quite as much as you do. There is nothing wrong with that! But you want to make sure that you don’t lean too heavily on certain members of your support system or else they will burn out! So make sure you have enough people to delegate tasks to!

• Is my support system crafty or skilled in areas that will make this process smoother? Having a support system who is already great at crafting is a big bonus.

• Will I actually save money doing this? DIY can be a great way to save money, but it also can add up very quickly if you aren’t careful to track your spending.

• Will the money I save be worth the time I will spend? Sometimes the answer is yes. Sometimes it doesn’t even come down to money; maybe DIY is just a way to stay connected to your wedding throughout the planning process. Just be sure to have realistic expectations about how long some projects will take. 

• It is infinitely better to ask yourself these questions before you get going and realize that maybe you’ve bitten off a little more than you can chew. Or maybe are on the fence and by asking yourself these questions you found the inspiration to go for it! 

• Once you have worked through these questions and decided you would like to take on some (or maybe all) DIY projects, it is very helpful to come up with a clear vision for your wedding aesthetic. Even if you want a hodgepodge of eclectic decor, it is great to decide what kind of eclectic you want! All vintage items?  All boho items? Super modern and minimalist? Whatever you decide, try to do so before starting projects. It will make your life a lot easier, trust me.

What kind of things are easy to DIY?

You can DIY virtually every aspect involved with a wedding. From the venue, to the food, to the decorations, to the music, to the bar, literally every single aspect could be taken on as a project. That is all A LOT to take on, and most people don’t choose to DIY every single aspect. There are a few easy projects that you can take on yourself though. Table numbers, seating charts, wedding signs, party favors, and centerpieces rank among what I would consider to be the easiest.

• You can do Table numbers so many different ways. You can make this as simple or as involved as you would like. Some of the most common easy DIY table number tricks are

  • Printing out the numbers on card stock paper and clipping them into free standing picture holder. You can find these at any craft store, target, Walmart, or of course Amazon.

  • Printing the numbers out and putting them in picture frames

  • If you have access to a vinyl printer there are even more options, including staining wood planks and putting vinyl numbers on them. You can leave the wood raw or stain it to match your color scheme and aesthetic. Another idea is to use clear acrylic sheets and print the numbers on those. Make them stand by using the free standing picture holders on the bottom.  

  • If you don’t have a vinyl printer you can always order the vinyl numbers from Etsy and apply them yourself.

• Seating charts are also another relatively easy item to create on your own. There are plenty of approaches to take on this too.

  • The easiest way to do this is to create a seating chart on your computer and printing it out at Costco, Staples, or any big printing company. Check with your local stores to make sure they can print in the size you want (most are happy to print on large sturdy poster board). You can dress it up by downloading some layouts from Etsy or create your own design!

  • Finding or creating a structure that you can hang the table assignments from. I have a lovely copper structure that works amazing for this. I use some wire to string from side to side and then use mini clothespins (Dollar Tree sells packs of 50 for just a dollar) to hang the individual table assignments from.

  • You can also write your table assignments on a mirror or chalkboard paint pens, just be sure to measure out how much space you have first before writing.  Pro tip- while measuring, tape ribbon to the outside of the frame to create equally sized sections for your seats. This way you don’t make marks that need to be erased later and your sections are equal.

  • If you are going the rustic route, find an old pallet, stain it, and either hang printing table assignments using the techniques I mentioned earlier, or write them on with a paint pen!

• Wedding signs are also fairly easy to make! 

  • You can of course print them on poster board using the same place you choose to get your seating chart, if you choose to go that route.

  • You can also print the signs out and put them in picture frames! I always love this option. They look so cute and classy.

  • Another option is going to chalkboard route. You can either find cute frames and paint the glass part with chalkboard paint. A simpler option is to buy chalkboard signs from your local craft store.

  • You can also go the mirror sign route or the acrylic sign route. You can use paint pens on either of these or if you have access to a vinyl printer, printing vinyl letters always looks nice, too!

• DIYing party favors can be simple and is a really nice personal touch since these will be going home with guests. 

  • There are really so many routes to take on this one. You can make goody bags, koozies, something that relates specifically to you and your fiance’s life, some kind of homemade snack or craft, really the list just goes on and on.

  • My sister and her husband made these adorable little coasters by slicing a tree branch that fell in their backyard, sealing and staining them. 

  • A couple from a few weekends ago used small plastic drink shakers that they put their wedding date using vinyl letters. They filled the shaker with candy wrapped in their wedding colors.

  • Another couple used shot glasses that doubled as place cards for their guests. 

  • The possibilities are really endless.

• Centerpieces can be as easy or as intricate as you make them. We will talk about some more simple centerpiece options for now.

  • If you are choosing to not use a florist you and are going to do your own flowers (really a whole other DIY project that deserves its own podcast) you can find simple vases. I’m a big advocate for finding vases or candle holders from thrift stores. This is more cost effective and creates less waste.

  • You can also find vases and candle holders (including the large clear hurricane candle holders) from the Dollar Tree.

  • I’m always partial to upcycling. I love when people putting together more casual weddings use empty wine or beer bottles. Just take the labels off and you have got some amazing and unique vases!

  • There are SO many directions to go with these, so it is really helpful to have a clear vision of color and style that you want before you start collecting things.

Check out my Instagram @theweddingplannerla to get some ideas and more in depth tricks on how to create some of the DIY projects mentioned here

IS THERE SUCH A THING AS TOO MUCH DIY

A wedding is such a big milestone in your life. The day comes and goes so quickly, so doing small projects over a period of time to prepare for this moment is a great way to stay connected and truly savor this special time in your life. A lot of people take a year to two years to plan a wedding, and that’s a lot of time to get things done… or so it seems. So to answer our question “Is there such a thing as too much DIY?” we need to go back to the questions you asked yourself in the beginning of this blog. 

There are plenty of people out there that can really pull off incredibly involved 100% DIY weddings. This requires an incredible amount of time and discipline. If you have a lot of support that really does go a long way, too. You could also DIY 100% of your wedding but go the very simplistic, minimalist route. This vibe has been very popular lately, too. Just because you can DIY everything, doesn’t necessarily mean that you should. If your reasons are purely budget related, make sure you weigh all options. By the time you are done DIYing things, you may just end up spending more than if you had gone the rental or all inclusive venue route. If you really just love projects and you have the time and the support, then GO FOR It. Again, little projects wedding related are a great way to stay connected to such a monumental event in your life, especially when you start planning a long time in advance.

So what happens when you start a DIY project and it isn’t coming out how you pictured? 

• I have two very opposite philosophies for you:

  • 1st, did you ever read the book “A beautiful oops” as a child? Basically, the idea, is in art, there is no such thing as a mistake, just an “oops” that might change your outcome from what you expected, but the outcome will still be beautiful. 

    • When you are working on your DIY projects, be kind to yourself. Just because your craft isn’t looking just like what you saw on Pinterest doesn’t mean that it isn’t beautiful. Perhaps it your trial and errors you will come up with something completely unique!

  • 2nd, have you ever heard of the sunk cost fallacy? Sorry, this is going to get a little philosophical, but I think this is relevant to many aspects of wedding planning. The Sunk Cost Fallacy is the idea that because you spent time and mney on something, it is better to see it through to the end, instead of quitting when you realize its not working. 

    • When you are working on a project and it simply isn’t working, don’t keep pouring time and resources into it. Those resources and time could be used to work on a different project that you will LOVE!

  • I told you those ideologies are complete opposites, but they are both really great to keep in your mind and balance between while working on your DIY projects.

No matter what you decide to DIY or not DIY your wedding will be beautiful and unique because it is yours! I’d love to hear all about your projects and just generally how wedding planning is going! Shoot me an email at theweddingplannerla@gmail.com to let me know how the process is going for you!

Making your Wedding YOURS: The Ins and Outs of Wedding Customization

Congrats on your engagement! What an exciting time and FUN new hobby you have. Wedding planning is such a unique task of life. There are so many different stylistic directions you can go in, so many different rabbits to chase. But how can you make sure that your wedding is truly reflecting you and your fiance’s personality? Well, the possibilities are endless! Here are a few things to consider when creating YOUR vision.

1. Party size- are you and your fiance wanting a huge party with lots of loved ones surrounding you? Or are you both more of the low key type, who would prefer an intimate wedding or even an elopement? There are no right or wrong answers here, it is just what you both want. If you both have different temperaments and one would like a big wedding and the other small, consider a compromise. You can have a small intimate ceremony with a larger reception to follow. Or even an elopement with a larger reception at a later date!

2. Venue- are you more of the classic-romantic-indoor-golf-course type people? Maybe you are more of the boho-beach type? Perhaps you could only ever see yourself getting married in a vineyard? Again- the only correct answer is to find a place that matches YOU and YOUR FIANCE’s vision. If you both have very different ideas of where you’d like to be married, don’t worry! There are so many venues that offer combinations of certain elements that can make everyone happy. If you want a beach wedding but your fiance wants a wedding in the woods, consider somewhere in Malibu or even further north on the west coast. If you want a wedding in vineyard but your fiance wants a wedding at a hotel ballroom, consider a vineyard with a gorgeous indoor reception area. There is bound to be a compromise out there, no matter how different your visions may be.

3. Style- There are plenty of amazing themed and styled weddings out there to use for inspiration, but don’t forget to put your own personal touch on it! Wedding “styles” and “themes” are only a thing because someone at sometime thought a certain combination of items would be pretty together. Don’t be afraid to be a pioneer! One of my favorite weddings I worked incorporated small gold dinosaurs all over the place because they were both archeologists! Conventional? Of course not. Cool and memorable? You bet! At my own wedding we had a petting zoo and beer donkey’s, because we love animals and wanted to be surrounded by them on our wedding day! Even if you love the rustic look, or the boho vibe, or the classic romantic wedding idea there are so many ways to incorporate your own personality into the decor.

4. Food- there is absolutely no rules when it comes to food. If you want a plated dinner of chicken and fish go for it. If you are more of a pizza person, get a pizza buffet. If you just want your wedding to be super casual have a potluck! Just find something that works for you, matches your personality, and matches your vision. (Full disclaimer: I don’t recommend a food truck or buffet with a larger wedding. The lines can get long and it takes a lot of time- BUT that is only my opinion!)

5. Flowers- Do you love flowers and want a million? Have them! If you hate flowers then don’t have a single one. Find a color scheme that fits you and run with it. If yellow and purple are your favorite colors, GO FOR IT! If you just want white roses and greenery, that it totally fine too.

6. Wedding attire- You want to find something to wear that you can be comfortable in, but you also want to find something you feel your very best in. For some people that may be a bright white dress with a beautiful princess skirt. For others that may be a sleek crepe formfitting dress. For others it may be a cool suit. You don’t need to dress like anything you are not just because “its a wedding.” your fiance wants to marry YOU because they love YOU and that includes your personal style.

7. Dancing- One of my favorite weddings I have ever worked had ZERO dancing. They planned a wedding that was around food and conversation. I personally LOVE to dance and made it the largest time allocation for my wedding. You know yourself, your fiance, and your friends. Is that something that is important to you all or are you not into dancing?

8. Special dances- I am asked about these a lot both as coordinator and a DJ. Not all families are the same. You do not have to dance with a parent if they are not a part of your life anymore. If you still want to do a dance, dance with a brother, cousin, other parent, aunt, uncle, anyone who has had a big and positive impact on your life. If you don’t want to share a “spotlight moment” with anyone skip it altogether! It will be totally fine and no one will notice.

9. Other “traditional” wedding events- are uncomfortable with the thought of your new husband swimming through your dress in front of your whole family, there is no need to do a garter toss! If you don’t want to do a first dance, skip it! If you don’t want to eat cake while everyone is watching you, don’t do the cake cutting, or skip the announcement so it isn’t a spectacle. If you want to add extra events, like the shoe game, or extra special dances, that is totally fine too. Traditions weren’t traditions until someone started them. So start your own!

10. The bar- to open the bar or to not open the bar, that is the question (kind of). There are a lot of variations of this (i.e having an open bar for cocktail hour and then a paid bar for the rest of the night, only providing champagne for a champagne toast, or having a dry wedding). Take your preferences, your fiance’s preferences, and your friends and families interests. If you think having an open bar is going to keep people dancing all night, go for it! If you don’t want an open bar, that’s fine too (just let your guests know ahead of time).