Rehearsal Dinner Planning Guide

Wedding day is right around the corner! A ceremony rehearsal is always highly recommended and strongly encouraged to take place a day or two prior to the wedding day. During the wedding ceremony rehearsal everyone participating in the ceremony (i.e. formally walking down the aisle, performing readings or songs, leading special ceremonies, etc.) will have a chance to practice what is expected on the wedding day. Everyone will learn where to line up, who they will walk with, the pace to walk, where they will end up sitting or standing, what to do throughout the ceremony, and how/when to recess, or exit, at the conclusion of the ceremony. The ceremony rehearsal is also a great opportunity to share your wedding day timeline, ceremony details, and other pertinent information with your wedding party and other wedding day participants so that everyone goes into the wedding day knowing what to expect.

The wedding ceremony rehearsal is typically closely followed by a rehearsal dinner where the wedding party, close family members, and their significant others gather to enjoy connecting over a meal. As with any event, rehearsal dinners can look vastly different! Some are elaborate enough to rival the wedding, some are casual backyard BBQs, and of course there are plenty in between. No matter your rehearsal dinner vision, the following guide will help you manage the who, what, when, where, why, and how of the rehearsal dinner. Follow this guide or share it with the event host for a smooth rehearsal dinner planning experience! 

What is the purpose of rehearsal dinner?

A rehearsal dinner event is intended to gather your wedding party and loved ones in an intimate setting before the big day. This event provides the opportunity to connect with your loved ones and show appreciation for their support and participation in your wedding.

Note that a welcome party and a rehearsal dinner are two separate events. A welcome dinner is open to all guests attending the wedding, while a rehearsal dinner has a limited guest list. It is not necessary, but also not uncommon for both a welcome dinner (or welcome “happy hour”) and a rehearsal dinner to occur, especially for destination weddings or weddings where a large portion of the guest list have traveled to attend.

When should the rehearsal dinner take place?

Rehearsal dinner typically occurs directly following the wedding ceremony rehearsal. This means that it will take place either the night before or a few days prior to your wedding. While it is called “rehearsal dinner” it doesn’t necessarily have to be a dinner. A wedding ceremony rehearsal scheduled early in the day might be followed by a rehearsal brunch or lunch inlieu of a dinner. Less formal rehearsal gatherings, like a rehearsal “happy hour,” are likely to occur either before or after a standard dinner hour.

Pro-tip #1: Know your guests and plan accordingly. A group that enjoys drinking can benefit from the rehearsal dinner taking place two days before the wedding instead of the night before to minimize the risk of anyone feeling unwell the morning of your wedding. If this isn’t an option, limit the alcohol provided to wine and beer only.

Example rehearsal dinner planning timeline-

6 months prior to the wedding- 

Create a guest list for the rehearsal dinner

Decide on the general “feel” for your rehearsal dinner (formal, casual, something in between?)

Contact ceremony venue and confirm rehearsal date (note that some venues will not confirm this date until closer to the wedding, which would impact this planning timeline)

Find & book a venue to host the dinner

3 months prior to the wedding-

Consider how you want to invite your guests to rehearsal dinner

Order invitations

Book a florist

Book a photographer

2 months prior to the wedding- 

Send out invitations to rehearsal dinner (send these sooner if a lot of guests are traveling so they can book travel arrangements accordingly!)

Have a tasting with the venue & confirm the menu

Book a musician

1 month prior to the wedding-

Source wedding party gifts

Design & source a welcome sign, seating chart/place cards, printed menus, table numbers, etc.

Select personal attire for rehearsal dinner

Pro-tip: it is a good idea to wear your wedding shoes to the wedding ceremony rehearsal. If you will not have an opportunity to change your shoes between the ceremony rehearsal and dinner, plan your rehearsal dinner outfit accordingly!

1 day(ish) prior to the wedding- 

Host wedding ceremony rehearsal

Attend rehearsal dinner

Who hosts the rehearsal dinner?

While, traditionally a groom’s parents take on this task, the host can be anyone! Only the wedding party members should not host the rehearsal dinner, as this is an event to appreciate and celebrate them as much as it is to celebrate your upcoming wedding. Fortunately, it is common for someone to offer to host the rehearsal dinner. The cost of the rehearsal dinner is covered by the host, which can make asking someone to take on the responsibility of the rehearsal dinner awkward. If no one is volunteering, there are no rules saying you cannot host your own rehearsal dinner!

How should I invite people?

As always, there are no set rules. Mailing formal invitations when time and budget allow, but, baring the scale of the event, are not necessarily a must! Since the guest list is typically just those absolutely closest to you, invitations can easily be sent via email or evite hosting platform, especially for particularly tight planning windows and/or small guest lists! It is worth noting that individuals of older generations tend to be more committed to tradition and might consider formal invitations a requirement.

No matter how you choose to spread word about the party, the invitations do not need to be as robust as the wedding invitations. A one page invitation, detail card, and RSVP card (with pre stamped return envelope) is typically going to be the absolute most a rehearsal dinner invitation suite might include, though the standard is a simple postcard invitation.

Who should be invited?

Who you invite depends on the scale of the event you are planning to host. An intimate rehearsal dinner will typically have a guest list limited to the wedding party, wedding ceremony participants, close family members, and their significant others. A more elaborate rehearsal dinner might be open to all extended family in addition to the wedding party and wedding ceremony participants. In any situation, guests are expected to be granted a plus one when they have a significant other and/or have traveled from out of town with a wedding date.

What information should the invitations include?

As always, names, date, location, and time will need to be included on the rehearsal dinner invitation. The host should also specify what kind of refreshments can be expected (appetizers only, full dinner, hosted bar, BYOB, no alcohol, etc.) Be sure to include the time and location of the actual ceremony rehearsal, too!

The rehearsal dinner host may also want to include their name and that is totally fine! People will often word the invites “The parents/aunt/cousin/friend/etc. of X invite you to the wedding rehearsal of their daughter/son/other to [Fiance name here] [list time and location]. Dinner to follow [list time and location].”

Information at a glance:

• Couples’ names

• Event date

• Ceremony rehearsal time

• Ceremony rehearsal location

• “Dinner to follow at……”

• Rehearsal dinner time

• Rehearsal dinner location

Where should the rehearsal dinner be hosted?

It is rare, though not unheard of, for a wedding venue to offer their clients the option to host a rehearsal dinner on site following the wedding ceremony rehearsal. It is more typical for a rehearsal dinner to be hosted at a restaurant, venue, private residence, or park nearby. Most commonly rehearsal dinners are held at a restaurant near the wedding ceremony venue for a convenient guest commute following the wedding ceremony rehearsal. Choosing a private room in a restaurant simplifies the planning efforts since they tend to be very inclusive (i.e. in house catering, tables, chairs, flatware, plates, napkins, drinkware, bar, centerpieces, etc.). If a restaurant is not feasible, a backyard get together or park gathering is not out of the norm! The formality and scale of any rehearsal dinner depends on the host’s preference, and anyone considering alternative options to a restaurant or event venue is not necessarily committing to a more casual event. A rehearsal dinner held at a private residence or park has the same potential to be particularly fancy as it does particularly casual. The ultimate location selection depends on the size of the guest list, available options within a close proximity to the ceremony venue, event vision, and budget.

What should we do at the rehearsal dinner?

Eat, drink, and socialize! The rehearsal is a great opportunity to distribute gifts to the wedding party and close family members. It is also the perfect time to allow loved ones who will not be giving toasts at the wedding to say a few words to honor your marriage.

Is a full meal expected at the rehearsal dinner?

YES, guests typically assume rehearsal dinner will provide a meal unless told otherwise! While it is expected, you do not have to include one. You do, however, have to communicate this to guests so that they may plan accordingly.

Rehearsals are typically a nicer meal, but that doesn’t mean yours has to be. A backyard BBQ or quick pizza party is completely acceptable! If the host wants to go all out and provide a full 5 course, sit down dinner, that is fine, too. As long as they are paying for it, and you are comfortable with it, there are no right or wrong answers as to what should be served.

What should be included in the budget?

This completely depends on what the budget allows for and what the host chooses to include! Below are some typical things to consider budgeting for:

• Event Planner & Coordinator

• Venue

• Catering

• Tables, chairs, plates, cups, flatware, napkins, etc. 

• Bar

• Cake/dessert

• Invitations

• Decor

• Miscellaneous 

That being said, every rehearsal dinner looks different. One might be an event to rival the wedding while another might be a simple kickback with beers on the beach. It isn’t the details that make a rehearsal dinner- it is the intention, the connection, and the celebration!

Bridal Shower Planning Guide

A bridal shower is a great milestone in the wedding preparation journey for the bride to enjoy the company of friends and family before the wedding! The bridal shower is different from the bachelorette party in that it is typically shorter and a more “tame” gathering. Follow the guide below, or share it with the event host, for a smooth bridal shower planning experience!

Why have a bridal shower-

A bridal shower is a party where friends and family gather to shower the bride with gifts! Much like a baby shower functions as a chance to prepare an expecting mother for a life transition, the bridal shower is meant to provide the bride with gifts that will help prepare her for the upcoming life changes that marriage will bring. While the primary function of this event is to dote upon the bride, it is also a fun opportunity to play games, introduce friends from different walks of life, and build memories!

When should the bridal shower be?

Bridal showers typically occur in the final few months, or even weeks, before the wedding. It is best to schedule this just before the final stages of planning take up all of the bride’s free time! Scheduling this party 30-45 days prior to the wedding is ideal!

The bridal shower will typically occur during daylight hours as opposed to being a nighttime event. 

Example bridal shower planning timeline-

3 months prior to wedding- 

Set a budget for the bridal shower

Create a guest list for the bridal shower

Gather addresses or email addresses of the guests

Decide on the general “feel” for the bridal shower (formal, casual, something in between?)

Find a venue to host the shower

2 months prior to wedding-

Plan the food and drink menus

Send out invitations to bridal shower

Find decor for bridal shower

Select attire for bridal shower

Book any necessary vendors

Plan activities for the bridal shower

1 month prior to wedding-

Purchase bar and food materials

Purchase flowers & decor

Host bridal shower

Who hosts the bridal shower?

More often than not the bridesmaids, bride or groom’s mother, or another close friend or family member will host the bridal shower. It is uncommon for the bride to host this event for herself since the primary function is to shower the bride with gifts.

How should I invite people?

As always, there are no set rules. Sending formal invitations by mail is great if you have the time and budget, but not necessary by any means! For bridal showers, it is a more recent trend to create a cute virtual invite that is distributed via email. This bridges the gap between official invitations and something that requires less effort. This also provides the opportunity to link a registry directly on the invitation so guests can conveniently click the link and purchase a gift!

Who should be invited?

The etiquette guru, Miss Manners, says you can only invite people who are invited to the wedding and I have to agree with her on this one. Unlike the engagement or bachelorette party, the bridal shower’s main purpose is for people to bring you gifts. Inviting someone to give the bride a gift, but not the wedding is a bit rude.

Traditionally this is a women only event, but this is changing more and more everyday. The invites can be extended to all the womyn invited to the wedding who are particularly close friends with the bride. The best rule of thumb is to limit the guest list to only the bride’s closest family and friends. Remember, the bride’s family is growing with the wedding! It is completely normal and acceptable to invite people from the groom’s side of the family if the relationship allows!

Here is a general outline of who is typically invited:

• The bridesmaids

• The womyn the bride is close with in her immediate families 

• The womyn the bride is close with in her extended families

• Close friends in the area who are also invited to the wedding. This isn’t an event that people would typically travel for, so if you have close friends in the area add them to the list!

Pro-tip #1: If you invite some immediate or extended family, you DO NOT have to invite them all. Invite whoever makes sense in the bride’s unique situation.

Pro-tip #2: The groom doesn’t usually attend the bridal shower. He often will make an appearance at some point, but typically doesn’t stay for the duration of the party.

What information should the invitations include?

As always, names, date, location, and time will need to be included on the invitation. The host should also specify what kind of refreshments can be expected (appetizers only, full dinner, hosted bar, BYOB, no alcohol, etc.). Depending on what kind of theme you are going with, the headline on the invitation can communicate this information. For example, “Brunch and Bubbly Bridal Shower” or “I Do BBQ.”

Guests are expected to bring gifts, so be sure to include the bride’s wedding registry on the invitation.

Who should pay for the bridal shower?

The cost of the bridal shower typically will fall on the hostess(es). This can vary on a case by case basis depending on financial situations. The bride is never expected to pay for any portion of the bridal shower, though, on very rare occasions may be asked to contribute on certain items. For example, if the person hosting the event does not personally drink alcohol and doesn’t feel comfortable paying for it for guests, the bride may be asked to provide the alcohol. Typically the host would ask someone else close to the bride before coming to the bride with this request, though. Much like the actual wedding, budget isn’t what defines the day. The most important aspect is celebrating your love while surrounded by the people who mean the most to you! (See the end of blog for full example budget breakdowns.)

Where should the bridal shower be hosted?

The bridal shower can be hosted in any venue, it will just depend on the size of the guest list and access to space. While the event can be as formal or informal as the hostess(es) would like, the shower is often thrown in the maid of honor or a family member’s home or backyard. If the hostess(es) does not have space, or just isn’t into the idea of having this kind of gathering in their personal space, a restaurant or smaller venue is always an option! Since this event doesn’t typically include a full meal, choosing to host at a venue might add unnecessary cost.

The bridal shower is usually thrown in the city that the hostess(es) is local to. This may not be the city the bride lives in, so she will need to travel to party. This isn’t typically an event people besides the bride would travel for, so potential guests living outside of the hostess(es) city may not make sense to invite. That is okay! Communicate with those friends and family so they understand why they aren’t receiving an invitation!

What should we do at the bridal shower?

Opening the presents is the primary activity of a bridal shower. Typically around ⅔ of the way through the party everyone will gather around the bride as she opens gifts. Since dinner isn’t usually provided, a few other activities will take place to keep guests entertained and engaged. Since the guests are generously offering gifts to the bride, the groom will often make a quick appearance to say hello and thank everyone. During his appearance, there are several games to play that will include him! Some ideas include the shoe game, a Q & A with the bride(s) and groom(s), or a date night guessing game! For a full list of ideas, click here to visit our Pinterest page! No matter what kind of activities are planned, it is always nice if the guest of honor can make a quick thank you speech. The bridesmaids and/or the bride’s family have typically offered a lot of support leading up to this point aside from hosting the shower and it is always nice for the bride to show her appreciation!

Example bridal shower timeline

• 1pm- Guests arrive. Everyone mingles, make appetizer plates, grabs their drinks, and makes anonymous date night suggestion.

• 1:30pm- Game 1: “Guess the Dress” game

• 1:45pm- Host reminds everyone to enter ideas into the anonymous date night suggestions

• 1:45pm- Toasts from mother of the groom, mother of the bride, grandma, and bridesmaid who won’t give a toast at the wedding

• 2pm- Slide show of friends/family pictures viewing

• 2:15pm- Game 2: Bride reads anonymous date night suggestions aloud and guesses who made each suggestion

• 2:45pm- Groom arrives, says hello

• 3pm- Game 3: Shoe game with Groom

• 3:15pm- Groom leaves

• 3:15pm- Bride opens presents (maid of honor tracks gifts for thank you notes)

• 3:45pm- Group picture

• 4pm- Bridal shower concludes

Is a full dinner expected at the bridal shower?

Everyone appreciates a nice full meal, but it isn’t expected nor is it the norm at bridal showers. Just be sure the hostess(es) specifies either way on the invitation so guests can plan accordingly!

Typically light refreshments are offered. Some ideas include a cheese board, fruit/veggie platters, chips and dips, cupcakes, cookies, or anything else that is easy to grab and snack on. If you want something cost effective, but a little more filling consider thinly sliced pizzas, pasta salads, hamburger sliders, or even mini tacos! For beverages, a few common trends are mimosa bars, pre-batched cocktails or mocktails, wine and/or wine spritzers, or build your own Bloody Mary bars. For a list of food and beverage ideas and display inspiration click here!

What should be included in the budget?

This completely depends on what the hostess(es) chooses to include! Below are some typical things to consider budgeting for:

• Catering/food

• Tables, chairs, plates, cups, flatware, napkins, etc. 

• Bar/drinks

• Cake/dessert

• Invitations

• Decor

• Miscellaneous 

Of course there are endless approaches to maximize any budget! Below are 3 example budgets for Bridal showers.

Example 1 (the “bells and whistles” example)- overall budget $9k

40 guests, 3 hour party

• Party Planner- $850

• Venue (mother of the bride’s backyard)- FREE

• Caterer (Cheese/fruit grazing board)- $2k

• Bar (mimosa & bloody mary bar w/ bartender)- @ $15/person = $600

• Cake from speciality bakery (2 tier 6” base, 4” top tier)- $450

• Cupcake and macaroon display- $200

• Ice cream caddy & attendant- $200

• Photographer- $500

• Music/entertainment (Live guitarist & singer)- $625

• Rentals- $500

  • 4 large floor tables (low the the ground)- $120

  • Festive carpeting to go below table- $150

  • Cushions for everyone to sit on- $120

  • 1 large wicker peacock chair- $50

  • Delivery- $60

• Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$2/household = $70

• Decor- $1,650

  • 2 large balloon displays @$200/arrangement = $400

  • 2 small balloon arrangements to accent bar and dessert table = $200

  • Florist (4 centerpieces & 4 small accent arrangements for signs & special tables)- $800

  • Signage (custom neon welcome sign, bar sign, cards and gifts sign etc.)- $250

• Miscellaneous- $1,150

  • Photo booth (2 hrs)- $250

  • Party favors (ex. Spa goodie bags)- @$20/each = $800

  • Gift & activity table (sign, card box, etc.)- $100

TOTAL: $8,795

Example 2 (the “mid range backyard” example)- overall budget $1.2k

40 guests, 3 hour party

• Venue (MOH backyard/patio/living room)- FREE

• Veggie/fruit/easy apps- $200

• Bar (DIY mimosa bar & pre batched cocktails)- $350

  • 1 pre batched cocktail (ex. Vodka/Grapefruit)

  • 2 handles of mid-range vodka @$40/handle = $80

  • Grapefruit juice $30

  • 1 case mid-range champagne @ $15/btl $180

  • Orange juice/guava/other juice $40

  • Ice for cocktails = $20

• Cake (single tier cake from local grocer)- $35

• Cupcake display (homemade)- $15

• Rentals (tables, chairs)- $300

  • 4 tables & table cloths @$30/table = $120

  • 40 chairs @ $3/chair = $120

  • Delivery- $60

• Music/entertainment (make your own playlist and play through your own speaker)- FREE

• Invitations (Send out email with curated digital invite)- FREE

• Decor- $50

  • DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 5 bushels @ $5/bushel = $25

  • Dollar store vases 1 per table @$1/each = $4

  • Candles & dollar tree candle votives (2 per table)- $2/each = $8

• Miscellaneous- $250

  • Party favors (ex. Goodie bag)- @$5/each = $200

  • Gift table (sign, card box, etc.)- $50

TOTAL: $1,200

Example 3 (the “ballin’ on a budget” example)- overall budget $300

40 guests, 3 hour party

• Venue (MOH backyard/patio/living room)- FREE

• Veggie/fruit/pretzels/hummus/chips/dip- $50

• Bar (DIY mimosa bar & pre batched cocktails)- $170

  • 1 pre batched cocktail (ex. Vodka/Grapefruit)

  • 2 handles of inexpensive vodka @$20/handle = $40

  • Grapefruit juice $30

  • 1 case inexpensive champagne @ $5/btl $60

  • Orange juice $20

  • Ice for cocktails $20

• Tables/chairs (use MOH existing furniture) FREE

• Disposable plates & napkins- $5

• Cupcake & cookie display (homemade)- $25

• Music/entertainment (make your own playlist and play through your own speaker)- FREE

• Invitations (Send out email with curated digital invite)- FREE

• Decor- $50

  • DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 3 bushels @ $5/bushel = $15

  • Amazon decor purchases $20

  • Print signs from computer FREE

TOTAL: $300

As you can see, the cost of the third example can easily decrease by skipping the alcohol, only offering BYOB, cutting out all decor, and/or skipping dessert. Basically this is all to say, no budget is too small!

Note: These numbers may seem intimidating. Usually, all of your bridesmaids will split the cost of these items. If you have 6 bridesmaids, the price per person is much more manageable. Also keep in mind, 40 guests for a bridal shower is on the larger side of average. Invite less people to get the cost down!