Wedding Planning Mistakes: 5 Hidden Pitfalls (and How to Stay Stress-Free)
You have gotten engaged, decided on an overall aesthetic for your wedding, booked a venue, and have specific elements for design in mind. Now the time has come to transition your Pinterest boards from dream to reality! While planning the logistics necessary to bring your vision to life is fun and exciting, the process has a reputation for turning stressful. There are some common pitfalls that people run into that can be key contributors to sucking the fun right out of something you've looked forward to. Below are 5 of the most frequent mistakes people make while planning a wedding and (more importantly) how to avoid them!
You have gotten engaged, decided on an overall aesthetic for your wedding, booked a venue, and have specific elements for design in mind. Now the time has come to transition your Pinterest boards from dream to reality! While planning the logistics necessary to bring your vision to life is fun and exciting, the process has a reputation for turning stressful. There are some common pitfalls that people run into that can be key contributors to sucking the fun right out of something you've looked forward to. Below are 5 of the most frequent mistakes people make while planning a wedding and (more importantly) how to avoid them!
*Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no cost to you.*
Mistake 1: Forgetting to Budget Before Spending
The internet is a wonderful tool full of wedding inspiration - but all of the picturesque weddings popping up on social media don’t include price tags. Be sure to sit down with your partner and determine your budget before you book or buy anything! A budget is as much a price limit on your entire wedding as it is a guide for how much you’d like to spend on each vendor, decor element, or clothing item. Making a budget will also help you figure out what elements are most important to you - do you want lots of fragrant florals, or is having a top shelf selection at the bar more important? - and then allocate those funds accordingly so that you can manage your expectations and shop within a price range that you are comfortable with!
Pro-tip: If you are working on a limited budget, spend BIG on a few focal point items instead of spreading your budget too thin. Once the I-do's are said and the cake is cleared, the wedding photos are how you will predominantly look back on your big day! Choose a photographer that will produce quality images you will be happy to reminisce on your day over and ensure the elements in those photos are ones you are filled with joy to see. For example, the altar arrangements and your bouquet will be in more pictures than centerpieces or a welcome table, so prioritize those items when budgeting!
Pro-tip: DIYing your florals is extremely time-intensive and live floral arrangements can only be assembled 12-24 hours before the wedding day and need to be kept in a cool, somewhat humid environment (exact temperatures for ideal storage vary depending on flower type, though most would be ideally stored between 34-38 degrees F, with a humidity level of 75-85%). If this is a DIY project you are considering, be sure you have enough help and time to complete the arrangements without taking away from any of the other things you will need to do in those precious last hours leading up to your wedding!
Mistake 3: Constantly adding people to your guest list
Weddings are a time to not only commit your life in partnership and love, it is also a time to celebrate the support and community you are surrounded by! For many couples, drawing the line on the maximum number of invitees can be a challenge. It is helpful to create at least a rough draft of your guest list prior to booking a venue in order to ensure you are securing a space that can accomodate the number of guests you would like to host.
Organizing a list of everyone can be a very stressful feeling, but it does not have to be! Start by breaking up your guest list into small lists (An Excel sheet is great for this) - one tab for your family, one for your partner’s family, another for your friends, their friends, shared friends, work friends, etc. Prioritize each list into must invite, like to invite, and invite if the budget allows. Then as RSVPs come in, you can extend invites to additional people as needed.
Mistake 2: Trying to DIY Too Much
Wedding planning while newly-engaged can really bring out the artist in all of us. The idea of hand-painting signs and knitting favors for all 150 of your guests may sound like fun projects to incorporate bespoke touches to your big day- and they are!- but the reality may be a little different. While personalized, DIYed elements add a personal touch to your wedding and often save money, overextending your creativity and time can lead to wedding planning burnout! Instead of overloading yourself with too many projects, stick to only manageable projects that best use your creative talents, and leave the rest to Amazon Handmade and Etsy.
Pro-tip: Keep in mind that every guest costs more than just the price of a meal and a bar tab! Calculate the cost of every seat (table & chair rental, cost of centerpieces & table numbers, plates, drinkware, silverware, napkins, additional service staff to adequately serve & clean, etc.). Communicate with your partner about the importance of sticking to your invite list! For some people this is no problem, but if you and/or your partner are the kind that has never met a stranger and is at risk of inviting your Uber driver to the wedding, be sure you both are on the same page about the wedding guest list!
Mistake 4: Forgetting to delegate
Aside from actually getting married and celebrating the night away, you will have A LOT to do on your wedding day. Between gettting ready, taking photos, visiting with guests, eating (don't forget to actually eat!), you personally won't have time to do any of the set-up, breakdown, or logistical behind the scenes stuff that goes on in order to make your wedding day come together! To this end, seek out the support of professionals to ensure all of your hard work comes together in way you will be happy with. If professionals are not available for any certain task or are not within the budget, turn to trusted friends and/or family to assist with elements like picking up the cake, communicating with vendors on the day of, and confirming transportation. Delegate tasks, loosen the reins a bit, and enjoy the process!
Pro-tip: Even if you have a planner, coordinator, and/or decorator it is extremely helpful to delegate certain getting ready tasks to your wedding party or family members. A few examples include making sure your lunch makes it to you (and in you!) while getting ready, if you want to listen to music someone will need to make a playlist and bring a speaker, and someone will need to be in communication with your transportation team and/or wedding coordinator.
Mistake 5: Over-scheduling and Under-timing
Creating an unrealistic timeline that leaves no room for unexpected delays or breathing room is a sure fire way to add stress to any wedding. Build in buffer time between activities like traveling from the ceremony location to the reception (especially if they are at two separate locations across town!). Factor in time for travel, photos, and getting ready. Discuss a backup plan with your vendors in case unforeseen circumstances arise.
Pro-tip: Schedule the ceremony start time 30 minutes after guests are expected to arrive. Guests can mingle, sign the guest book, drop off cards and gifts, and find their seats during the in-between time, but allowing this 30 minutes will ensure your ceremony is not delayed due to guests' late arrival.
Bonus mistake! Forgetting to color coordinate your wedding attire with accessories!
There are endless shades of white and ivories and blacks and grays and really every color on the color wheel! Be sure to look at all of your wedding attire items next to each other, in person ahead of time to ensure they work well together. This goes for all wedding party attire, too! Check in with each wedding party member a few weeks in advance to ensure they have sourced any items they are to provide themselves (i.e. If the groomsmen all need to wear matte black dress shoes, make sure they know and are on top of it!)
Pro-tip: Champagne and gold go well with white and ivory! You can mix these shades in with your white or ivory for a regal accent.
7 Wedding Decor Ideas to Set the Stage for Your Big Day
Wedding decor is one of the funnest parts of wedding planning. The options are truly endless, and it can all become overwhelming. To help you navigate the world of wedding decor, we've curated a list of popular trends that are sure to impress your guests:
Wedding decor is one of the funnest parts of wedding planning. The options are truly endless, and it can all become overwhelming. To help you navigate the world of wedding decor, we've curated a list of popular trends that are sure to impress your guests:
*Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no cost to you.*
A Beautiful Card Box
Card boxes can be made of simple cardboard, or gold and glass! Since many guests opt to send their gifts directly to a couple’s home, a card box is a must have for collecting cards filled with well-wishes.
Our favorite card boxes:
Greenery Galore
We all love wedding flowers, but greenery is also an important accent to your venue. Garlands, hanging vines, and potted plants bring a fresh, organic feel to your wedding venue. This trend pairs well with a rustic or garden wedding theme, but can also add a touch of whimsy to a more modern celebration. Consider using different textures and shades of greens to create a layered and visually interesting effect.
Pro-tip: don’t be afraid of fake greenery! You can mix it in with real flowers or use it to line an aisle. Fake greenery is much easier to work with as well.
Statement Lighting
Lighting can completely transform a space, and your wedding day is no exception. String lights draped overhead, fairy lights in jars, or hanging lanterns can create a magical and intimate atmosphere. You can also use colored lighting strategically to highlight specific areas, like the dance floor or the dessert table.
Welcome Signage
A beautiful welcome sign sets the tone for your wedding and lets guests know they've arrived at the right place. But your welcome sign can be a mirror, a wooden board, or even a chalkboard. You can use custom vinyl stickers to personalize your welcome sign with your names, wedding date, or even a special message. No matter what style you choose, make sure it reflects the overall theme of your wedding.
Photo Backdrop
Create a fun and interactive element for your guests with a designated photo backdrop. This could be anything from a floral wall to a sequined curtain. Don't forget to provide props like hats, boas, and signs to add to the fun! For a unique touch, consider using a vintage car, a doorway adorned with flowers, or a scenic spot outdoors as your backdrop.
Signature Cocktails
This may not technically be decor, but you can choose a signature cocktail that reflects your personality. A well-placed bar sign with your signature cocktails listed is a perfect touch. You can even name them after your beloved pets! Garnishes like fresh fruit or herbs can elevate the drink’s presentation. If you're having a summer wedding, a refreshing lavender lemonade or a watermelon mojito might be perfect. For a winter wedding, a warm spiced cider or a pear martini could be delicious options.
Guestbook Alternatives
Guestbooks are a lovely way for your guests to leave you well wishes and memories from your special day. But there are so many creative alternatives out there these days! Consider an instant photo guestbook, where guests can take a polaroid picture and write a message on the back. Providing an empty photo album will allow your guests to slip the photo in so it doesn't get lost! A globe guestbook is another fun option - guests can sign a globe and leave a message. You can display your globe in your home and remember all the people who made your wedding special.
All Things Wedding Decorator
A wedding decorator is the person in charge of making everything pretty on your wedding day. Their work typically begins a few months prior to the wedding when they begin working closely with you to develop your design vision, plan how to implement that vision, and create mock-ups of potential designs. Follow this guide to feel confident you have selected a wedding decorator that will create the wedding of your dreams!
This guide is divided into 3 sections:
Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding decorator
Questions to ask a wedding decorator prior to booking
Ways to maximize your decorator’s services
A wedding decorator is the person in charge of making everything pretty on your wedding day. Their work typically starts a few months prior to the wedding when they begin working closely with you to develop your design vision, plan how to implement that vision, and create mock-ups of potential designs. It is important to find a professional who can create a design that represents everything you are hoping for in a wedding design. Whether you come to this professional with a very specific vision or need full support on developing your design, a wedding decorator should be able to create a custom design just for you. Follow this guide to feel confident you have selected a wedding decorator that will create the wedding of your dreams!
This guide is divided into 3 sections:
Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding decorator
Questions to ask a wedding decorator prior to booking
Ways to maximize your decorator’s services
Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding decorator
Some coordinators or florists will act as wedding decorators, but not all will. If you are lucky, you will find a coordinator and/or florist that can provide decor and/or set up your decor. These professionals typically cost a little more upfront and may charge individually for decor rentals, but can ultimately save you money since you won’t need to find a separate decorator. Wedding decorators will occasionally also offer floral services, but they never include day-of coordination services. It is important to know the difference between these services and understand each professional's role in bringing your day together per their contract. Having a clear understanding of each professional’s services will save you a lot of money and headache down the road!
Some wedding decorators provide decorations, others won’t. Most decorators do have an inventory of decor, however, some do not. Some will show up with the sole purpose of setting up the decor that you provide. The professionals who do not provide any decor rentals typically are priced at lower rates, but the cost is made up by purchasing or renting decor from other sources.
Most decorators will assist with decor clean up at the end of the night, but it's worth double checking. If your decorator is supplying decorations they will almost always return the same night to break down decor and collect their belongings. Double check that this is the case, and confirm there are no additional fees if the wedding reception ends after a certain time. It is also worth confirming that they will break down any decor you supplied, make sure that it is packed away, and return your decor to its predesignated space. If you are supplying all of the decor, the decorator may or may not include clean up. If they do not include decor breakdown, you will need to make sure someone is assigned to take care of this aspect.
Most decorators will help with the overall design, some just implement, while others insist on doing everything. Wedding decorators include varying degrees of design consultation. Most of them will work with you to develop your design and plan the best way to bring your vision to life. A few decorators will simply take the designs you have already mapped out and implement them on the day of your wedding. This is more common for decorators who are not supplying any decor for your wedding. Some wedding decorators like to have the majority of control over the wedding design. They will typically still want input on color, themes, and general feel, but prefer to have free reign over how your desired design elements are brought together. This approach is more common for wedding decorators who are providing all of the decor, are hired early in the planning process, and have been in the business for a very, very long time. It takes a lot of confidence to assume they can create your dream wedding with minimal input from you! Confidence can pay off, but proceed with caution when a decorator says this is their work style! Some decorators that insist on picking and designing most of your wedding will have a very specific go-to wedding design that they recreate at multiple events. If you don’t like this look or are looking for something more custom, you may want to go a different route. Typically all decorators, even those who prefer to have the majority of control over design, will create mock-ups of their intended designs and get your approval before the wedding day.
Questions to ask a wedding decorator prior to booking
Basics-
Are you available on my date?
Can you work within my budget?
Do you require a deposit? How much?
When is the balance due?
What is the policy if your items are broken or missing after my wedding?
What is your preferred method of payment?
What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?
What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?
What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?
What is the backup plan if you are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?
Are there any additional fees such as travel fees, delivery fees, etc. that are not included in the package price?
Are you licensed?
Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your staff and property?
Package & service questions-
Do you bring any assistants?
Will you provide some or all of the decor you will be setting up?
Will you set up decor that I provide?
I’m hosting my ceremony and reception at two separate venues, will you provide decor set up and breakdown for both locations?
Will you assist me with building my design vision?
Will you assemble examples for my wedding that I will be able to look over and approve?
When do we need to have the design finalized?
Do you have a catalog of your inventory I can look through?
Is everything in your inventory included in the cost of your services or priced individually?
Can I see examples of your past designs?
How long does it typically take you to set up the decor for a wedding of my size and my desired style?
Will you return at the end of the night to clean up decor?
If I provided some of the decor, will you also clear my decor from my venue?
Experience-
How long have you been a wedding decorator?
How many weddings do you do a year?
Do you do any other kind of design work?
Will you be decorating any other events on my wedding weekend? (Hint: While this doesn’t matter too much for most vendors, if your wedding decorator is working other weddings on your wedding weekend you run the risk of some items intended to be used at your wedding being damaged or destroyed at another event. If this happens a day or two prior to your wedding there won’t be time to replace the item.)
Ways to maximize your wedding decorators services
Communicate your vision clearly. Since almost all decorators take some level of your design preferences into consideration, it is important to communicate your vision, especially your must-haves, clearly. Be sure to provide inspiration photos if you have them, instead of simply trying to describe something you like. Show the decorator your wedding attire, floral inspiration, color scheme, and venue so they can develop an understanding of what styles you are drawn to.
Organize any decor you are supplying. Clearly label boxes, take pictures of things you have a specific vision for, and label the purpose for individual items. This will not only streamline the decorating process, but also ensure that your decor is placed in the way you intended.
You will be charged for broken or missing items, so do your due diligence to return everything in-tact! Have your MC make multiple announcements about not taking centerpieces or decor pieces. Believe it or not, some wedding guests assume the items they see are up for grabs. Some centerpieces, especially large floral pieces, are commonly given away at weddings, so they aren’t totally wrong for thinking this may be the case. If your decor items are rentals, be sure to have the MC clearly communicate this to guests. Your decorator (or any other rental source) works hard to collect these pieces and they often aren’t easily replaced. If items go missing, that usually results in a pretty hefty surcharge!
Things happen, plan accordingly. Guests may miss the memo to not take items, or items may break. Although we all want to hope for the best, it is best to plan for the worst! Prior to your wedding day, have your decorator (or any other decor rental source) prepare an invoice with the cost to replace each item they are supplying. Not only will this help you mentally and financially prepare if something does go missing, it will also hold the rental vendor accountable to certain amounts (in other words, they can’t charge you an arbitrary and high amount that they came up with off the cuff after the fact).
Wedding Planning Tips
Wedding planning has so many moving pieces. Feel confident and worry free by following this list of tips and tricks!
Wedding planning is an exciting and unique journey. There are so many ways to make the planning process smooth and stress-free. Below are 32 of our favorite ways to keep the planning process fun!
1. Budget is a great starting place
Whether you are working with a $3k budget or a $300k budget, knowing your maximum budget will help guide all other aspects of planning your wedding. Come up with an overall number that you and your fiance (or whoever is funding the wedding) are comfortable with, and then do a little research to feel out how this money should be divided up amongst the many wedding vendors. Click here for a guide to building your wedding budget breakdown!
2. Guest count matters
If money truly is not an object, then guest count should be the first step to planning. Knowing how many guests you need to comfortably accommodate will help you select a venue, caterer, food service style, bar, sound system, etc. Guest count will have a huge impact on the overall budget. As you create your budget breakdown, play around with the guest count to see how it will affect the way money is allocated.
3. Consider outside factors that may affect guest and vendor availability
There are often a lot of factors to consider when thinking of a wedding date. It is fairly common for couples to go into wedding planning with a date already in mind. Before becoming too attached to any particular date, consider what other events are happening around this time that might affect guests ability to make it and overall vendor availability.
For example, if your town is hosting a wine festival on July 25, many local vendors might be booked to participate in this event. An event like this might draw a lot of visitors from out of town, making finding a hotel room or even reasonably priced flights harder to come by for guests. Not to mention, even your in town guests might already have pre-planned to attend the alternative event!
4. Check the weather!
Weather has the ability to drastically alter how your day will go and add a lot of unplanned expenses. A particularly windy day at an outdoor venue can cause a lot of problems! If the weather is too hot or too cold, guests might not be inclined until the end of the event. While it is always good to continue to check the weather and make reasonable climate control attempts (i.e. umbrellas, tents, heaters, etc.) picking a date that is generally at a time when the weather is temperate will save you a lot of stress throughout the planning process!
Pro-tip #1: You can Google any date and find the weather trends on that exact date for the last few hundred years. Of course, this can’t guarantee the exact weather on your wedding day, but it can at least give you a little insight into what the weather will likely be.
5. The sunset waits for no one
The sunset will happen when it happens. You can’t control it, so plan for it! In order to get those amazing golden hour shots, shape the rest of your event around this opportune time! Sunset is important for more than just aesthetics, though! When the sun goes down, the overall climate will change, and accommodations may be needed to keep guests comfortable for the duration for the celebration!
Pro-tip #2: Google what time the sunset will be when planning your timeline! Google knows all, so even 18 months away from your wedding date you can look up exactly what time the sun will be setting on your wedding day. Having this time in mind will make it easier to map out when certain events should occur.
6. Consolidate spending and rack up credit card points!!
Opening a specific credit card for wedding related expenses is great for several reasons. First, if all the expenses are made in one place it will be way simpler to track spending. It will also be easier to communicate these expenses to other people who might be financially invested in your wedding. This is also a great opportunity to rack up some points! Weddings are a huge expense, so you might as well get something in return! If you rack up enough points you may just be able to pay for your honeymoon!
7. Take vendor recommendations
There is no need to reinvent the wheel! Wedding professionals spend every weekend meeting and making connections with other amazing vendors. Vendors are highly likely to suggest vendors they only truly feel confident in, as they are putting their own reputation on the line by offering these referrals.
8. Guests = Money
If you find yourself looking to cut costs, cut the guest list. Each guest costs money to host, so if you find yourself in a financially tough situation, take another look at the guest list! This is just another great reason why starting with the budget is ideal. By taking a careful look at how much money you can spend on the wedding you will have a clear understanding of how many guests and at what cost per person will work for you!
Pro-tip #3: Make sure that you have a very clear handle on the budget before sending out invitations. This way if you need to cut the guest list you don’t have to officially uninvite anyone!
9. Advocate early for yourself
Prior to booking, vendors will be more likely to make modifications to their packages and overall price to earn your business. Once the contract is signed and the deposit has been paid they are typically less likely to throw in freebies, because that isn’t what was in the initial agreement. A lot of vendors are firm on their prices, but many are happy to make custom packages to ensure you are satisfied with what you are signing up for!
Pro-tip #4: When asking for free upgrades or a discount, remember you are asking a favor, so ask nicely! These vendors are professionals which means they rely on your business to provide for themselves and their families. While they may want to accommodate your budget, they may not be financially able to do so.
10. Stay organized throughout planning
Staying organized will help keep planning on track and fun. There are many approaches to wedding organization, but no matter what method works for you, stick to it! Update your information regularly, keep everything in one place, and check in on your to-do lists often! For a full list of tips and tricks on staying organized, click here!
11. Chunk out your planning
Remember in school when your teachers would write out the big goals of the day and the smaller tasks you’d do in order to achieve these goals? Well, they were really onto something! Break down your to-do list into sections to make planning more manageable, easier to track, and more rewarding! Click here, for some useful tips and an idea of how to build your own planning timeline.
12. Draft of your day-of timeline early on
Create a rough draft of your wedding day fairly early on in your wedding planning process. Map out how you would like the day to be paced and what time you’d like major events to happen. This may (and probably will) change quite a bit as your plans shift, but having a general outline will help you menally prepare and offer guidance as you book vendors. When it comes time to sign contracts with vendors they will want to know a start and finish time. Certain vendors (like your venue, bartenders, photographer, videographer, and DJ) will have packages that include a certain amount of hours. Having a rough draft of your timeline will give you a better idea of how many hours you need them onsite.
13. Stock your bar...
...with the appropriate amount of bartenders. Avoid long lines at the bar by hiring an appropriate amount of staff for your guest count. Typically for a simple bar (beer, wine, 1-2 pre batched cocktails), you need one bartender per 50 guests to keep the line down. If you are having a fully open bar where guests can order whatever drink they want you will need an extra bartender or two to make sure guests are taken care of in a timely manner.
Pro-tip #5: Take the bar size into consideration. If your venue has a smaller physical bar space, hire an amount of bartenders that make sense for the space. If you are having a large wedding with a small physical bar space, consider renting a second bar to keep the line under control! Small bar lines = full dance floor!
14. Plan for the un-plannable
When going through your budget, make sure to leave some “flex” money for miscellaneous items that may pop up over the course of planning. There are almost always unforeseen expenses that usually aren’t discovered until money has already been spent in other areas. Instead of feeling like you have to blow the budget on these items, anticipate them!
15. When in doubt, ask your professionals
Wedding professionals spend a lot of time at weddings and have gained a lot of valuable insight over their years of experience. Your wedding professionals are usually very well versed in what seemingly simple touches can make the day run smoother! Take their advice into consideration. If it works with your vision, great!
16. Postage points
After carefully researching and designing the perfect invitations, no one wants to stick an ugly stamp on the envelope. Instead of choosing from the limited options available at the post office, consider ordering your stamps online at USPS.com.
Pro-tip #6: Weigh your invitations before you send them out so you can be confident the postage attached is adequate to get your invitation to its destination. If you have an oddly shaped envelope, be sure to ask at the post office about the best method and postage amount to ensure delivery.
Pro-tip 7: Pre-stamp your return RSVP cards. Guests are more likely to quickly send their RSVP cards back if they are pre-stamped.
17. Not all the guests will be able to attend, and that is okay!
Things happen and not everyone will be able to attend your wedding. This is okay! On average about 15-20% of invitees won’t be able to attend. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you! Just remember, guests cost money, so even though you’d love for everyone to celebrate with you, saving money is a huge silver lining to the “No” RSVPs. Alternatively, this will open up a few spaces for the friends that you thought you might not be able to invite.
18. Be consistent with the kiddos
Adults only weddings are becoming more and more common, but there is still a lot of grey area on what that exactly means. A lot of “adults only” weddings will still have a few rugrats running around for any number of reasons. When you send out your invitations specify the kid restriction. You have four options: all kids are welcome, "adults only," immediate family kids only, or you can invite everyone to bring their children and provide childcare for the kids, either at the venue, in a hotel room, or in someone’s home. Consistency is key, though! If you allow some friends to bring children, it is best to allow everyone to bring their children. (Immediate family and kiddos in the bridal party are an exception!)
19. The A, B, C’s to your guest list
This is not a fun guideline to suggest, but it is a good one to follow. When preparing your guest list, separate the list into 3 sections: your “A listers” (the people that are invited no matter what); the “B listers” (the people who you hope to invite if there is enough room); and the “C listers” (the people you want to invite, but will only invite if people from one of the first two lists drop out). This will make cutting down your guest list a lot easier if it becomes necessary down the road. It will also help you prioritize your budget. If having everyone from all three lists is important, allocate money in such a way that this is possible!
20. Limit the plus ones
Considering you are mapping out an A, B, C guest list and trying to track a budget, you do not need to allow every guest a plus one!
A general rule of thumb, if a guest is married their significant other needs to be invited. Even if you don’t include a section for a plus one on their RSVP, their significant other’s invitation is implied. If, for whatever reason, a significant other is not invited that needs to be explicitly communicated to your guest.
Aside from married couples, it is nice to allow guests who may not know a lot of other attendees a plus one. If someone is requesting a plus one and you simply can’t accommodate the other person, just let your guest know that you’ve already had to make difficult decisions about your guest list and you don’t have the room (or budget!)
For everyone else, they should not expect to be allowed a plus one unless specified on the invitation.
Pro-tip #8: Try to avoid mentioning budget as a restriction unless the situation specifically makes sense to bring this up. Guests will offer to pay for their plus one in lieu of not bringing one which doesn’t really solve your problem if your real issue is space or simply not wanting strangers around for an intimate celebration.
21. Guest transportation
Providing guest transportation to and from a hotel is always nice, but it isn’t expected nor is it necessary if your budget is starting to be stretched a little thin. If faced with a choice, it is best to either skip it completely or provide transportation for everyone. Having one or two shuttles to take a portion of guests (bridal party and immediate family not included), but not the rest of your guests can be confusing. Guests may see a shuttle leave and wait for another one, that isn’t coming.
Pro-tip #9: If you are tight on money, but want to offer some sort of transportation accommodation, sign up with a ride-share company and provide guests with a discount code. You can pre-set the discount amount and the maximum amount you are willing to cover.
22. Room blocks and your budget
If you have a lot of out of town guests it is nice to find a hotel in close proximity to your wedding venue for guests to stay during their visit. Setting aside a room block will often allow guests to book at a lower rate than finding a place on their own.
That being said, a lot of the hotels that offer room blocks will hold you financially accountable for the unbooked rooms in your block. If possible, avoid this kind of arrangement! If this is your only option, only set aside enough rooms for your immediate family that you know will be booking or skip the block completely! You can typically add rooms later on if necessary, though they may be at a different rate than the initial block.
Pro-tip #10: If there is a large event taking place nearby on the weekend of your wedding, a room block is crucial to guarantee guests can find accommodations!
Pro-tip #11: Avoid being held financially accountable for unbooked rooms in your blocks by not making a block, but instead suggest a few nearby hotels for guests to choose from. This takes the guesswork out of the hotel search for guests, but will potentially save you a massive added expense.
23. Document everything in writing
Chances are, leading up to the wedding day you will have a lot of discussions with your vendors about small details that aren’t included in your contracts. In order to track the information being shared, and ensure that all of the details are covered, make sure everything is in writing.
There are often several people working with each company you have booked for your wedding. Having everything in writing will keep information consistent between individuals within the company.
Even if you have discussed something several times over the phone, send a follow up email outlining the details you need your vendor to take care of on the day of. After sharing the same details with so many people involved with the wedding, it can be challenging to remember exactly who was told what, but having everything in writing is a great way to keep track of this.
24. Think through the day-of set up logistics
Talk to your venue about what time you and your vendors will have access to the space for set-up. Carefully consider how much time and helping hands your decor will take to set up. Remember that if you aren’t hiring outside help, you will need to make sure you have enough vehicles to transport decor, hands to delegate the set up between, and ample time to have everything done and done well! If you are hiring outside help, it is still important that transporting everything to and from the venue has been thoroughly planned and enough hands have been hired to properly set up in the time allotted! Click here for a thorough day of checklist to make sure you have accounted for all of the details!
25. Make it official with your marriage license
Do a little research into the process for applying for a marriage license prior to showing up at your courthouse. Make sure that you know the timeframe before your wedding that you can apply for your marriage license.
On the day-of designate someone to be responsible for storing your marriage license in a safe pre-determined space so that you can send it in and legally be married!
Pro-tip #12: In the state of California, technically, it is the officiant’s responsibility (and legal obligation) to return your marriage license within 10 days of the ceremony. However, if, for whatever reason, the marriage license isn’t returned you are still married. (source)
26. Become well versed in your venue’s policies and protocols
If you are holding your wedding ceremony at a place of religious worship, discuss what expectations the venue has of you and your guests. For example, do they have a specific time that all guests need to be off the property?; how strict are they on ceremony start time?; do your guests need to dress a certain way?; are you allowed to place any decor?; is flash photography allowed?; etc.?
Reception venues (or combined ceremony and reception venues) often have their own policies and protocols that they expect you and your vendors to adhere to. Most venues will provide a list of these rules, but if you are not provided any, ask for a specific breakdown of their policies. This will help you prepare appropriately and protect/mentally prepare you if something goes wrong that would result in the venue charging additional fees.
Pro-tip #13: Venues will often ask for signed copies of their rules from your vendors. If they don’t require this, it is still a good idea to share the house rules with your vendors so they have an opportunity to understand what the venue restricts and requires of them.
27. Discuss your values, and allocate money accordingly
When you begin to breakdown your budget into an outline (see item #1 on this list), typically you will want to start by writing out the full list of vendors that you will need. From there, discuss with your fiance what matters the most to you both and allocate money accordingly. You may LOVE flowers and want to designate a higher percentage of your overall budget towards this! By doing this in the beginning of planning you will help guide your vendor selection and stay within budget.
28. Keep guests engaged by putting yourself in their shoes
The guests are there to celebrate YOU, so make sure they are well taken care of! Prepare an adequate sound system so that they can see and hear throughout your ceremony and reception. Keep them comfortable by providing climate control and offering amenities such as blankets, flat shoes for dancing, and plenty of access to food, water, and shade. Schedule the day so that activities aren’t during high distraction times or too spaced out allowing guests to get antsy. Click here for timeline building help! Think through the day from the guests perspective to ensure everything is engaging, comfortable, and fun throughout the event.
29. Keep contact information handy!
Keep all of your vendor contact information organized and easily accessible on your wedding day. Things happen, and you don’t want to waste too much time tracking down a vendor’s phone number if you need to contact them.
Pro-tip #14: Designate someone as a point of contact for vendors on your wedding day. If you have a coordinator or planner they will be the go-to person for the other vendors. If you don’t have a professional, designate a family member or bridesmaid to be the point of contact so you don’t have 20 vendors calling you with set-up questions on the wedding day. Even if you have a planner or coordinator, it is still a good idea to designate a bridesmaid as a contact for that person!
30. Gals gas gals up; dress shop with your friends
Dress shopping is best when done with a small group. This can be an emotionally taxing process for so many reasons and its best to have a solid support system there to keep you grounded. Make sure to bring honest friends so they can tell you what is flattering, keep your energy up if you start to feel discouraged, and help you stay firm on your budget.
Pro-tip #15: Support is so much more than telling you are gorgeous in everything (we already know that you are!). True support is helping you make a realistic choice based on your budget, vision, and body type. Make sure that the people you bring along are ready to keep your spirits high, but your expectations realistic.
Pro-tip #16: Don’t bring too many people while you are trying on dresses. Ideally, you will have 1-3 people tagging along to your dress appointments. Two main reasons for this: (1) too many people can be distracting. Having voices for guidance is important, but too many opinions will quickly become overwhelming. (2) Most bridal shops have small showrooms so there isn’t a ton of room for a whole gathering. If you do show up with more people than they are comfortable with, the stylist may feel the need to rush you along to clear the space.
Pro-tip #16.5: Call ahead to the bridal shop to see how many people they can comfortably accommodate.
31. Manage your to-do list
Staying on top of your to-do list throughout planning will help you accomplish every nitty-gritty task you have planned. However, when you get down to the wire, don’t push yourself to the point of wedding burn out! In that final month, the smallest little details that somehow managed to slip through the cracks are finally coming to light. Skip the things you don’t truly need, delegate the things you can, and tackle what you really need to do head on! In that final month stretch, you want to be getting excited for the wedding, not pushing yourself to the point where you’re excited for it to be over.
32. Don’t sweat the small stuff
This is the best and most consistent wedding advice you will probably receive. Things may not go as planned. Some things may not go as planned to the point that you will need to address them after the fact. On your wedding day, the most important thing is getting married! Everything else is extra. No matter what happens, as long as you are with the person you love, your wedding day is already perfect! Stay focused on the positives and live in the moment! Chances are, if you are able to focus on all of the best parts, you won’t even notice the little hiccups that may occur!
Pro-tip #17: Hiring a day-of coordinator will offer peace of mind so that you don’t feel the need to look for the small hiccups. You can live in the moment and feel confident that someone else is handling the behind the scenes aspects for you! A great coordinator will take care of everything before you even notice something wasn’t quite as planned!
Rehearsal Dinner Planning Guide
Rehearsal dinner usually immediately follows the ceremony rehearsal and is typically the final gathering of friends and family prior to the big day. Below is a planning guide to help you manage the who, what, when, where, why, and how of this event. Follow this guide or share it with the event host for a smooth rehearsal dinner planning experience!
Wedding day is right around the corner! A ceremony rehearsal is almost always necessary in order to get the bridal party and family members on the same page about how the ceremony, and the day as a whole, will run. This time is a great opportunity to share the timeline, ceremony details, and other pertinent information that you won’t want to spend time explaining on the actual wedding day.
Rehearsal dinner usually immediately follows the ceremony rehearsal and is typically the final gathering of friends and family prior to the big day. Below is a planning guide to help you manage the who, what, when, where, why, and how of this event. Follow this guide or share it with the event host for a smooth rehearsal dinner planning experience!
What is the purpose of rehearsal dinner?
This event is intended to gather your bridal party and immediate family in an intimate setting before the big day. Oftentimes family or bridal party members travel for your wedding and/or take time away from work or other obligations to attend the rehearsal and celebrate your love. This is an opportunity to show thanks for all that your bridal party and family have done for you!
When should the rehearsal dinner take place?
Rehearsal dinner typically occurs directly following the ceremony rehearsal. This means that it will take place either the night before or a few days prior to your wedding. While it is called “rehearsal dinner” it doesn’t necessarily have to be a dinner. If you host the rehearsal earlier in the day, it can be a rehearsal brunch or lunch. If you want something a little less formal you can have a rehearsal “happy hour” or something similar that implies a gathering that doesn’t necessarily include a full meal.
Pro-tip #1: Know your friends and plan accordingly. If you have a bridal party that likes to drink heavily, host the event two days before your wedding instead of the night before. No one wants a hungover bridal party on their wedding day! If this isn’t an option, limit the alcohol provided to wine and beer only.
Example rehearsal dinner planning timeline-
6 months prior to the wedding-
Create a guest list for the rehearsal dinner
Decide on the general “feel” for your rehearsal dinner (formal, casual, something in between?)
Contact ceremony venue and confirm rehearsal date
Find & book a venue to host the dinner
3 months prior to the wedding-
Consider how you want to invite your guests to rehearsal dinner
Order invitations if necessary
2 months prior to the wedding-
Send out invitations to rehearsal dinner (send these sooner if a lot of guests are traveling so they can book travel arrangements accordingly!)
1 month prior to the wedding-
Find decor for rehearsal dinner
Select attire for rehearsal dinner
1 day(ish) prior to the wedding-
Host ceremony rehearsal
Host rehearsal dinner
Who hosts the rehearsal dinner?
Traditionally the groom’s parents take on this task, but the host can be anyone, and completely depends on your situation. If the groom’s parents aren’t able to host- or if you have two brides-, it can be the bride’s parents, other relatives, or even yourselves! The bridal party doesn’t typically take charge of this event, since the event is intended as a “thank you” for them.
How should I invite people?
As always, there are no set rules. Sending formal invitations by mail is great if you have the time and wiggle room in the budget, but not necessary by any means! Many other wedding blogs and older generations would strongly disagree with me on this, though, so be prepared for a host coming from an older generation to find formal invitations necessary. Since the guest list is typically just those absolutely closest to you, invitations can easily be sent via email, Facebook, or even a quick text!
No matter how you choose to spread word about the party, the invitations do not need to be as formal as the wedding invitations. These invitations also do not need to be a reflection of your wedding design in any way, though they usually do incorporate aspects of your wedding design. You, or the host, can pick whatever aesthetic makes you all happy!
Pro-tip #2: If you and your host disagree on how invitations should be sent, choosing to mail more casual invitations with bright colors and fun fonts can be a good compromise!
Pro-tip #3: Take this one with a grain of salt, but… pick and choose your battles. There will probably be plenty of opinions coming your way about the wedding that you will need to navigate. If the host of this event feels really strongly about the invitations, this may not be the hill to die on.
Who should be invited?
Who you invite depends on the overall feel you are going for. Typically it is just your immediate family and anyone who is walking down the aisle (in other words, any one who needs to attend the ceremony rehearsal).
Here is a general outline of who is typically invited:
Your bridal party AND a guest*
*Not everyone has to have a guest. If they have traveled out of town with a “plus one” to your wedding, that person is usually invited to the rehearsal dinner. If you are good friends with their significant other, that person should be invited. If they are scrolling through Tinder and find someone they’d like to invite... you DEFINITELY don’t need to invite them.
Your immediate families (if your relationship with them allows for this)
If the host has a larger budget and you have a large wedding guest list (usually applicable if 250+), occasionally extended family who traveled from out of town will be invited too. If you invite your out of town extended family, most people will include their in town relatives as well.
What information should the invitations include?
As always, names, date, location, and time will need to be included on the invitation. The host should also specify what kind of refreshments can be expected (appetizers only, full dinner, hosted bar, BYOB, no alcohol, etc.) Be sure to include the time and location of the actual ceremony rehearsal, too!
The rehearsal dinner host may also want to include their name and that is totally fine! People will often word the invites “The parents/aunt/cousin/friend/etc. of X invite you to the wedding rehearsal of their daughter/son/other to [Fiance name here] [list time and location]. Dinner to follow [list time and location].”
Information at a glance:
Bride(s) & Groom(s) names
Date
Ceremony rehearsal time
Ceremony rehearsal location
“Dinner to follow at……”
Rehearsal dinner time
Rehearsal dinner location
Who should pay for the rehearsal dinner?
The cost of the rehearsal dinner typically will fall on the host. This varies on a case by case basis depending on financial situations. Some hosts may ask you to pay for a portion of the rehearsal dinner. If you cannot afford to fund any portion of the party, let the host know, and suggest a more casual or smaller rehearsal dinner to accommodate their budget! Much like the actual wedding, budget isn’t what defines the day. The most important aspect is celebrating your love while surrounded by the people who mean the most to you and your fiance! (See the end of blog for full example budget breakdowns.)
Where should the rehearsal dinner be hosted?
The rehearsal dinner can be hosted in any location, it will just depend on the size of the guest list, access to space, and budget. While the event can be as formal or informal as the host would like, they are usually hosted at a restaurant near the wedding venue. Choosing a private room in a restaurant can often be less expensive since so much will be included (i.e. in house catering, tables, chairs, flatware, plates, napkins, drinkware, bar, centerpieces, etc.) If a restaurant is not in the budget, a casual backyard get together is not out of the norm!
Pro-tip #4: Since the ceremony rehearsal usually takes place at the ceremony venue, it is most convenient for guests if rehearsal dinner is held at a restaurant or other location nearby.
What should we do at the rehearsal dinner?
Eat, drink, and socialize! The rehearsal is a great opportunity to distribute gifts to the bridal party and family. It is also the perfect time to allow bridal party members who will not be giving toasts at the wedding to give a quick speech!
Is a full meal expected at the rehearsal dinner?
YES! This does not mean you have to include one, but if you do not plan to serve a full dinner, communicate that with your guests so they can plan accordingly.
Rehearsals are typically a nicer meal, but that doesn’t mean yours has to be! A backyard BBQ or quick pizza party is completely acceptable! If the host wants to go all out and provide a full 5 course, sit down dinner, that is fine, too. As long as they are paying for it, and you are comfortable with it, there are no right or wrong answers as to what should be served.
What should be included in the budget?
This completely depends on what the budget allows for and what the host chooses to include! Below are some typical things to consider budgeting for:
Venue
Catering
Tables, chairs, plates, cups, flatware, napkins, etc.
Bar
Cake/dessert
Invitations
Decor
Miscellaneous
Of course there are endless approaches to maximize any budget! Below are 3 example budgets for rehearsal dinners.
Example 1 (the “bells and whistles” example)- overall budget $9k
40 guests, 2.5 hour party
Party Planner- $850
Venue- Nice Restaurant (includes tables, chairs, plates, flatware, cups, and food)- @ $100/person = $4,000
Bar (through venue- beer, wine, & top shelf liquor)- @ $30/person = $1,200
Photographer- $500
Music/entertainment (Live guitarist & singer)- $600
Cake from speciality bakery (2 tier 6” base, 4” top tier)- $450
Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$5/household = $90
Decor- $1,300
1 large balloon display $200
Florist (garland runners for tables & 2 accent pieces)- $1,000
Signage (welcome sign, seating chart, place cards, etc.)- $150
TOTAL: $8,995
Example 2 (the “mid range” example)- overall budget $2k
40 guests, 2.5 hour party
Venue- mid range restaurant (includes tables, chairs, plates, flatware, cups, and food)- @ $30/person = $1,200
Bar (through venue- beer & wine only)- @ $15/person = $600
Music/entertainment (restaurant music)- FREE
Dessert provided by restaurant, included in per person cost- NO EXTRA FEE
Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$2/household = $60
Decor- $65
DIY Trader Joe’s flowers 4 bushels @ $5/each- $20
Dollar tree vases, 5 @ $1/each = $5
Signage (enlarged poster of engagement pic, printed at Costco)- $40
TOTAL: $1,922
Example 3 (the “ballin’ on a budget” example)- overall budget $350
40 guests, 2.5 hour party
Venue (backyard) - FREE
Catering (pizza party! 10 pizzas @ $13/each + tip)- $150
Tables & chairs (use friend’s folding tables & chairs, buy dollar tree table covers)- $10
Plates, plasticware, and drinkware (use disposable- comes with pizza)- FREE
Bar (6 cases of beer @$15/each)- $90
Music (make playlist and set up your own speaker)- FREE
Cake/dessert (single tier, local grocer)- $35
Invitations (Send out email or create Facebook event)- FREE
Decor- $50
DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 5 bushels @ $5/bushel = $25
Dollar store vases 1 per table @$1/each = $8
Candles & dollar tree candle votives (2 per table)- $2/each = $16
TOTAL: $335
As you can see, the third example can easily decrease in price by only offering BYOB, cutting out all decor, skipping dessert and/or ordering cheaper pizza. Basically this is all to say, no budget is too small!
Save the Dates, Invitations, and a bit on RSVPs
Sending out Save the Dates and Invitations are SUCH fun parts of wedding planning. For so many people this is the first step that makes everything feel real. Soak in these vital steps, and feel confident you are doing it right by reading the information below!
Sending out Save the Dates and Invitations are SUCH fun parts of wedding planning. For so many people this is the first step that makes everything feel real. Soak in these vital steps, and feel confident you are doing it right by reading the information below!
Before reading on, here are two super useful tips!
Pro-tip #1: A common mistake people make is ordering for guest count instead of household.
Mistake: ordering 250 invitations for 250 guests
Pro planning: ordering 1 invitation per household (i.e average household 3 people/house: 250 divided by 3 = ~83 Save the Dates and invitations)
Pro-tip #2: Order extra! You may want to invite additional people and you will probably want one for keepsake. While you still don’t need to order one for every single guest, rounding up is always good in case you make new friends, have people drop out that you want to replace, or just want a few extra for your own (or parents, family, close friends, etc.) keepsake! Another huge pro to this- the big name stationary sites base their discounts on round numbers, so ordering 100 vs. 84 will end up being less expensive.
Mistake- Ordering 84 save the dates/invitations for ~83 households.
Pro planning: Ordering 100 save the dates/invitations for ~83 house holds.
Save the Dates
Save the Dates are a great way to mentally prepare your guests for your upcoming wedding. You might not have all the details like time, location, attire, meal plan, etc. hammered out, but a Save the Date will let guests know the most basic information about the wedding to plan for. While these are helpful with communicating this information to guests, they do add some cost to your wedding and aren’t necessary for every situation.
When are Save the Dates REALLY needed?
Save the Dates can be useful for every wedding, but you don’t HAVE to have them for any wedding. If you are tight on money, time, or simply just don’t want them you can skip them altogether. Save the Dates are most useful when planning either a destination wedding or when planning a wedding where most of your guests will be traveling. In a situation where guests will need to be traveling it is useful to let everyone know ahead of time. Save the Dates allow guests the opportunity to save money/sent money aside for travel and gifts, communicate with work, and plan for childcare (if necessary).
When should I send my Save the Dates out?
Save the Dates can be sent whenever you have solidified a date and location. You can technically send them before a venue is booked if you are 100% positive of the city and date the wedding will be held, but it is best to send them once the venue is booked. Couples will often fall in love with a venue that isn’t available on their desired date, so they change the date to accommodate the venue. If the date you have chosen means a lot to you and you are positive you will be selecting a venue based on the date and not the other way around, go ahead and send the Save the Dates!
If you are having a lot of out of town guests or planning a destination wedding Save the Dates ideally will be sent a full year in advance. If your wedding is more intimate and still requires a majority of guests to travel, Save the Dates should be sent in the 6-8 month prior range, if possible. If you are planning a more intimate wedding in a shorter time span it may be more efficient to skip the Save the Dates, touch base personally with guests to give them a heads up, and send invitations a little sooner than you would typically.
What is the latest I should send a Save the Date?
This, again, will vary depending on the situation. The absolute latest in any situation that you should send a Save the Date is 2 months out from the wedding (and this still only works for a really intimate wedding with short planning period). For a larger wedding this deadline should be by the 4 month mark. For a larger travel heavy wedding this deadline should be 5 months out. If you can’t make this deadline, skip the Save the Dates altogether and just send an invitation. Even for an intimate wedding, 2 months would be cutting it pretty close. Keep in mind, you will need to confirm with the venue and caterers the final headcount about a month prior to the wedding so you need to have time for people to receive their Save the Date and invitation and then RSVP.
What information should my Save the Dates include?
Save the Dates are just a quick, formal heads up to guests that you will be hosting a wedding on a particular date in a certain city. At minimum the Save the Date should include your names, date, and city. A lot of couples will build a wedding website and include that on the Save the Date as well. Even if the wedding website isn’t 100% completed (and frankly at this point it probably won’t be) providing the link will give guests a resource to check in to for more information as it is made available. If you have your venue locked in you can also include this in the Save the Date.
What should my Save the Dates look like?
Like everything else with a wedding, this completely depends on what you want. A common trend is for people to use a photo from their engagement session as the background of their Save the Date. Another common trend is for people to make their Save the Dates magnets so people can keep them on their fridge or somewhere convenient to find the information.
Invitations
What information should I include in my invitations?
Invitations should be a quick snapshot of all the vital information guests need to know in order to show up to the right place at the right time on the right day. They should include the who, what, when, where, and why of the day (not necessarily in that order). Include both the bride(s) and/or groom(s) names. If someone other than yourselves are paying for a chunk, the majority, or all of the wedding it is common to word your invitation: “X and X invite you to the wedding of their [son/daughter/other- name] to [fiance name here].” The name and address of the venue is vital. They will also need to know what time to arrive. If you have a wedding website you can include the website and let people know that they can RSVP and find more info there. If you don’t have a wedding website, you’ll need to include an RSVP card and pre-stamped envelope for guests to send back. You’ll also need to include a meal card if necessary, attire expectation (even if super casual, let them know!! No one wants to show up in a ball gown when everyone else is in sun dresses!), whether kids are invited or not, hotel block information (even if you don’t have a room block, they will need to know!), transportation accommodations, and information on events surrounding the wedding (pre-wedding welcome event, after wedding brunch etc.). Again, if you have a wedding website, you can list all of this info on the website and have your invite include just the very basics.
Pro-tip: directing guests to a wedding website for more info is a great option if possible. You can update information as plans evolve, include an FAQ page so guests can refer to this instead of having everyone individually reach out to you with questions, and, last but certainly not least, you can have your registry on your website so when guests visit to RSVP they can conveniently purchase a gift.
What should my invitations look like?
Again, the aesthetics of the invitations completely depend on your taste. If possible, it is ideal to have your invitations aesthetic inline with your wedding. Chose colors, shapes, and fonts that are relatively similar to those that will be at your wedding. This will help with a few things. First, this will give guests an idea of what to expect. It can set the tone of formality and give them an idea into color scheme. If you don’t want people to dress in the same colors as your bridal party or vice versa, let them know! Either way, invitations are a great ay to start communicating what those colors will be. Second, photographers love to capture your invitation as a prop on the wedding day. Having this match the overall aesthetic will create for some more cohesive pictures. Again, this is just a suggestion. It is your wedding and there are no rules; do literally whatever you want.
When should I send my invitations?
This will vary depending on a few factors. Some things to consider: when do you need to confirm numbers with the caterer and venue? How many people will be traveling for your wedding? How many people are you inviting (the more people you invite, the more people you will need to track down to confirm RSVP status!!)? For reference, for an average wedding of 150 guests with 33% traveling domestically, you should send the invitations out 2.5 months prior to the wedding, with the RSVP date 1-1.5 months prior to the wedding depending on catering and venue requirements.
When should I have guests RSVP by?
For your own sake, it is best to set the RSVP date at least 1 month prior to your date. Guest count will alter your seat/table count, plate count, party favor count, etc. Never have I ever been a part of a wedding of any size where 100% of the guests RSVP on time on their own without a nudge. Giving yourself some extra time will help alleviate some of the planning that just can’t be done until the final headcount is in. While a month is the minimum, I highly recommend giving yourself at least 1.5 months so you have a full 2 weeks to track people down and get all RSVPs. If you are having a wedding with over 250 guests, give yourself a full 2 months. Even if you are having a wedding of 1,000 don’t give yourself more than 2 months, though. Expectedly, things happen in our guests lives and anything longer than 2 months will allow for too many unforeseeable variables in guests lives and you’ll have to do a lot of adjusting as people’s plans change.
Some great resources to purchase your Save the Dates and/or invitations
There are plenty of boutique vendors that can create incredible custom pieces for you. Everyone will have a different niche aesthetic. If you are looking for something on the less niche and more affordable end check out the following:
www.vistaprint.com
Why I love them- you can really create whatever look you are going for. There are some preset templates you can use if you are ~creatively challenged~ or you can fully customize your own cards if you’re into DIYing the design. Their prints are consistent and good quality. Another huge plus, they are CHEAP.
Pro-tip- Google discount codes before ordering! They are almost ALWAYS running a special. If you can’t find one, create an account BEFORE creating your cards. Save your design and then sit back and wait. Within a week they will email you a discount code.
www.minted.com
Why I love them- Their designs are lovely, their prints are consistent, and they give my clients a discount. Use my code: WEDPLLA for 35% off Save the Dates and 25% off all wedding things.
www.basicinvite.com
Why I love them- My very favorite thing about this site is they offer clear invitations for about $1 each. The next least expensive clear option I have found is $8/each. The price is unbeatable. They offer plenty of other designs or fully customizable blank slate options as well. The prints are consistent and good quality. They allow you to fully customize the invitations and Save the Dates.
Pro-tip- look for discount codes! They aren’t as common as Vistaprint discount codes, but their prices are already lower so it balances out. It is still worth looking for a code though!
Have additional questions? Feel free to reach out via email! theweddingplannerla@gmail.com
As always, happy planning!!
10 Ways to Stay Organized While Wedding Planning
Staying organized is key when it comes to wedding planning! While this may come more naturally for some than others, getting an early start to organization will help everyone equally. If you have found yourself already knee deep in wedding planning with no real organization plan, don’t fret! It is never too late to get on top of organization! Here are 10 great ways to get and stay organized throughout wedding planning!
Staying organized is key when it comes to wedding planning! While this may come more naturally for some than others, getting an early start to organization will help everyone equally. If you have found yourself already knee deep in wedding planning with no real organization plan, don’t fret! It is never too late to get on top of organization! Here are 10 great ways to get and stay organized throughout wedding planning!
Create a wedding email and check it often.
Having an email specific to your wedding is helpful for two main reasons. First, this will help keep all of your wedding related emails organized and in one place. Second, once the wedding is over, this will save you from having promotional emails sent from vendors crowding your regular email’s inbox! Having a separate email will only work if you check it often, though!
Keep all of your wedding information in one spot.
There are many ways to go about this. I have come across some amazing hard copy wedding planning journal style books, however, I highly recommend going digital. This allows you to easily edit or add information as your planning evolves. I personally love Google Docs for this. With this platform it is simple to keep your information organized, the documents are easy to send out if you need to share any of the information, you can save all of your contracts into your Google Doc wedding folder, and you can invite your fiancé, bridal party, parents, planner, or whoever else to edit relevant documents (think: to-do lists!!). No matter what platform you choose, it is immensely helpful to keep everything together in one space!
Make a planning timeline.
Map out the days/months/years that you have to plan your wedding and then breakdown your vendor searches and planning process into smaller more manageable timeframes. Take into consideration what will be going on in your personal life during this time, and plan your planning around that! Mapping out your “plan of attack” for wedding planning will help you feel confident you are making progress, help you stay on top of your to-do list, and (hopefully) make the whole wedding planning process more fun!! Click here for more on creating a planning timeline.
Create a budget outline.
I may be a little budget obsessed, but it is for good reason! Budget is important! Not-so-fun fact: I once had a friend blow their budget by $60k. That was 200% their initial budget. So how did that happen? The budget wasn’t being tracked and it wasn’t accurately assessed before vendors started being booked. Avoid this situation by creating a full budget breakdown BEFORE booking any vendors. Do some research to make sure your estimates are accurate and allocate money to the things you value most. This will guide every single aspect of your wedding planning, so it is important to get a head start on this early on! Make sure that you stay within budget (or consciously decide to extend the budget) by carefully tracking every expenditure. If you have multiple people funding the wedding, track who paid what, when and using which method. This will be important not only for tracking your budget, but also for tracking what outstanding balances you still have coming. Click here for more on creating a budget outline.
Create a Pinterest board(s).
Wedding planning in the days of Pinterest has been a joy. There is a world of inspiration out there just waiting for you to tap into it. While scrolling through the millions of inspiration pictures your vision may change and that is okay! As your vision shifts, take away pins that are no longer inspiring to you. If you like something about a picture, make a note of what it is specifically that makes you want to incorporate this into your wedding. Pinterest boards are great to share with your wedding planner, florist, decorator, hair and makeup team, and baker, so keep is up to date and organized! Pro-tip: bare budget in mind when looking through Pinterest. Pinterest doesn’t filter for price, and it can be painful to fall in love with a dress or floral arrangement. That being said, just because something looks super expensive doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be. If you really love something, look into it! Maybe it is more attainable than you initially thought! Visit The Wedding Planner LA Pinterest page for inspiration!
Keep a running list of booked vendors.
Have your basic vendor info all on one page so you can find the necessary info at a glance instead of shuffling through contracts. You can format this however works best for you, but it is super useful to include the following information for each vendor all compiled in one document:
Service being provided
Company name
Contact person name
Contact person email & phone number
Number of hours booked (start and end time as soon as known!)
Remaining balance, payment due date(s), and preferred payment method
If they require a vendor meal & dietary restrictions if applicable (usually this will be your planner/coordination team, photographer, videographer, DJ/Musician, and anyone else onsite for longer than 5 hours).
Instagram handle
Make lists.
Lists are your friend. List out everything. Your big to-do list, smaller to-do list, wedding vendor research information, style inspiration, etc. Lists are great because you can track your progress and remember all of the little details that you have been or intend to work on.
Build a wedding website.
This will save you SO. MUCH. WORK. A wedding website will do a lot of organizing for you. Have your registry on the website to easily track gifts. You can even track who you have already sent thank you cards to! Have guests RSVP on the website to easily track those. Provide useful information and updates about the wedding so you don’t have 50 guests calling to ask the same question. A wedding website is an incredibly useful tool
Send thank you cards as you receive gifts.
Speaking of your registry and thank you cards, stay organized and save yourself a lot of time by writing thank you cards as you receive gifts. It is easier to track this if you have a wedding website, but even if you are going a less techy route, be sure to list the gifts you have received, immediately send a thank you, and track the thank you’s once you have sent them. Pro-tip: Trying to write 100 thank you’s at once is daunting and tiresome. Sending thank you’s as gifts come in will allow you the time to write a thoughtful response.
Create a seating chart.
First, let me say, creating a draft of this is helpful if you find yourself randomly with a few extra hours in a day, but you cannot finalize your seating chart until you get your RSVPs back. Second, this topic deserves its own blog. Check back for that one soon! In the meantime, here are two very vague reasons why a seating chart is useful:
Food service. If you are doing plated dinner, you need people committed to a seat so that they can have the meal they were intended. If you are doing food buffet style you need everyone evenly distributed so when table 1 is called there is a predictable amount of people coming over for the catering staff. If you are doing family style, you need to know exactly how many people will be at each table in order to distribute food properly.
Think back to your days of eating lunch at your high school cafeteria. It’s the first day of school and everyone is figuring out who to sit with. There are large groups of people who all love each other and want to sit together so 20 of them crowd around one lunch bench. There are five kids who are kind of friends with some of those people and they want to hang out with them, but they don’t see room for themselves. They scatter and feel a little hurt they weren’t specifically invited to the big table. There is the kid who doesn’t really know anyone so they sit off by themselves in a corner and don’t socialize with anyone. There is also everyone in between. Get ahead of the drama by assigning seats. It will make everyones life easier in the long run
Select Your Vendors Like a Pro
Selecting vendors can be a daunting task. There are SO many options out there so how can you be sure you are making a good choice? It is challenging selecting vendors that fit in your budget or are worth stretching the budget for! There are a few specific steps I take when sifting through and vetting vendors before sending them to my clients. Follow these steps and you’ll be picking vendors like a pro!
Selecting vendors can be a daunting task. There are SO many options out there so how can you be sure you are making a good choice? It is challenging selecting vendors that fit in your budget or are worth stretching the budget for! There are a few specific steps I take when sifting through and vetting vendors before sending them to my clients. Follow these steps and you’ll be picking vendors like a pro!
***Before you get going on vendor research, I highly recommend making a full budget!! Making a full, realistic budget will help guide your vendor selection. See my full budget guide here***
Decide on a general vision for each specific vendor-
Before diving into the deep end of vendor research, have an idea of what you are after. A few things to shape this vision: budget, what you hope to get out of your contract with this vendor (i.e. how many hours, how many assistants, etc.), what “style” do you want (i.e. what kind of venue do you want, what style of photography do you like, what kind of food do you want, etc.).
Venue- indoor, outdoor, mix of both, beach, woods, mountains, all inclusive, DIY, somewhere in between, how late do you want to be there into the evening, will they be hosting other events in the space that day, will they take care of trash removal, do they provide restrooms, power, or any other basic amenities, do they provide tables, chairs, an arbor, a bar space,etc.? For reference, a wedding with 100 guests at a venue that provides only power and restrooms will cost about $7k in rentals, if you go with the most basic rental options. This should absolutely be factored in to your overall cost when selecting a venue.
Wedding Planner- do you want to be involved in wedding planning or do you want to think about it as little as possible? You will spend a lot of time with your wedding planner and your wedding planner needs to be able to see YOUR vision in order to create your special day. Make sure that this is someone you are ready and excited to spend time with!
Photographer- do you want light and airy, dark and moody, true to color, posed photos, raw emotions, or a mix, how many hours will you need them, do you need 2 photographers or will one suffice (2 are recommended for larger guest counts and spread out venues), do you want an engagement shoot, how many photos are you hoping to get back? Ask to see a full wedding album instead of just the highlights!
Videographer- what do you want included in the video? Montage of key events throughout the day, full vows, speeches, and special dances, or a combo of the above? Be sure to look through several examples so you have a clear idea of what your edit will include.
Caterer- what kind of food do you want, how will it be served, will they provide apps as well, do they offer plates, cups, and flatware rentals, how experienced are they with larger events, do they provide bussers?
DJ/Musician- will they make announcements for you throughout the event, how many sound systems will they bring (you will need 2-3 for most venues if you are doing ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception in different spaces), will they allow you to provide song requests, do they have experience playing to a crowd, can they provide a microphone for the ceremony and reception, how active are they on the mic? HINT: A sound system is the full set up which will include a set of speakers (1-2 speakers for ceremony cocktail hour, 2+ speakers for dinner/dancing), microphone (confirm this with your DJ! Some charge extra), amp, mixer, music device (usually a laptop), and dance floor lighting (where appropriate).
Bar- do you need a full service bar, or would you like to build your own bar and hire just the bartenders? Will your venue allow you to DIY the bar? If you are DIYing the bar, will you ned to rent the physical bar? Are you bartenders licensed?
Florist- do you want more “traditional” bouquets and centerpieces or would you like something else? Are you looking for other decor rental? A lot of florists also offer vases, candles, and other decor to add to your order. Be sure to look through their portfolios! If you have a go-to florist you typically use, but are looking for a different style, show them some examples of what you would like and see if it is something they have experience with or feel comfortable doing. A lot of florists will do special designs that are outside of their norm but not show examples of this work on their Instagram or website because it isn’t “on brand.”
Dessert- what kind of dessert do you want, how do you want your cake to look, how many tiers do you wants the cake to have, will they deliver or do your desserts need to be picked up?
Hair and makeup- up-do, hair down, braiding, something in between, heavy contour makeup, natural look, something in between? Be sure to look through portfolios and ask for a trial run day! Trial runs are very important! Not just to make sure you like the styles they come up with but also to see how long your hair and makeup are holding up throughout the day.
Rentals- does the company offer unique pieces that will work with your venue, are the rates competitive with other comparable companies in your area, what will they charge for delivery, do they offer same day delivery and pick up, can they extend delivery and pick up is necessary?
Do your own research-
Recommendations from friends or professionals are a great place to start, but doing your own research to make sure they are a good fit for you is vital. Just because a friend or professional has had a good experience with someone, doesn’t mean they are going to be a great fit for you! Friends of friends may offer discounts, but if these people are not professionals then you may be wasting $400 instead of feeling good about spending $800. Ask to see pictures or videos of these “friendors” in action! If they do this professionally on the side, ask for a website or review site link! I’ve seen plenty of vendors that recommend other vendors that they haven’t worked with for a long time. Business quality can change overtime so it is important to confirm the recommended company is still worth your while!
Diversify your Research sources-
Conduct research from a few different angles. A quick google search might not yield the kind of options that you are looking for. WeddingWire, The Knot, Thumbtack, Facebook wedding groups, and sites like these will give you more diverse vendor options! Depending on the type of vendor you are looking for search on Instagram, too!
Always cross reference reviews-
Reviews can vary from platform to platform so it is important to cross reference and be sure that you are getting the most recent takes on the company. Some insight into review companies: anyone can leave a company reviews on Google so companies may ask their friends to leave reviews to raise their overall rating. WeddingWire is similar, but it is more challenging to leave a review on, so friends are less likely to pad the reviews for vendors. Yelp has an algorithm that is meant to weed out “fake” reviews, but a lot of real reviews are taken down in the process (there are also a lot of theories on their marketing approach that can also affect the reviews that show). Be sure to scroll down on the Yelp pages to the “unrecommended” section to read reviews that aren’t weighted in overall.
Read reviews with a different perspective-
Even if you like the quote a company sends and they have five stars across review platforms, be sure to read the reviews and look for consistencies. For example, if I’m looking for DJ/MCs and I see a lot of five star reviews saying how the MC "is really active on the mic,” I’m not going to send that company to a couple who really just wants music and a few key announcements.
Schedule phone or in-person meetings before booking-
It is important to feel comfortable on your wedding day and your vendors a huge part of your comfort! You will spend so much time with certain vendors on your actual wedding day, and even the ones that you won’t, they will still interact with guests! If you have a vendor that runs a little high strung, they may create unnecessary anxiety on your special day. A great way to accommodate this is to make sure your personalities mesh beforehand!
Read through your contracts very, very closely-
This is a legally binding document that should protect you as well as the vendor. Make sure that there is fine print written in about what will happen in the event of cancelation (on either the couple AND vendors part). Numbers and dates should be firm (I.e. by what date will you get sneak peek pics back, when can you expect the full album back, how many photos can you expect back, etc. These examples are specific to photos, but all contracts should be quantitative and clear. This does not apply when booking a wedding planner if you don’t already have a venue secured). A contract that doesn’t protect you is definitely a red flag!! If you find any of these issues and bring them up to a vendor and they are unwilling to adjust the contract to protect you, that is a major red flag and a good sign that you should continue your search!
Other notable tips:
A vendor’s experience doesn’t necessarily chalk up to quality of service! Just because someone hasn’t been working weddings specifically for a long time doesn’t mean they should be immediately counted out. If you like their style, food, etc., they are well informed on the effort that weddings take, and they are ready to do what it takes to do an awesome job on your wedding they are still worth considering. If you unsure about them, ask your wedding planner or coordinator! They may be able to offer valuable insight to make sure you are making the best decisions for your wedding!
Break up your search into several days. It is easy to get burnt out on sifting through vendors. Packages start to run together, things that would normally stick out become easy to overlook, and the whole experience may become less enjoyable.
Be thorough! Don’t settle! You can find the perfect vendor out there for you!
Be sure to check out my preferred vendors list to kick start your search!
Useful links:
Budget planning tips: https://www.theweddingplannerla.com/blog/wedding-budgeting-the-first-step-to-planning
My preferred vendors: https://www.theweddingplannerla.com/resources
Day of Decor/Photo Op Props Checklist
As you think through your wedding day and are organizing the pieces you have bought or rented, work through this list to make sure you have accounted for everything! Remember, every wedding is unique and you may not want to incorporate some of these pieces. If you don’t want some piece, don’t force it just because it is on this list! If you have planned for other pieces, feel free to copy and paste this then add in your own specific bullet points.
As you think through your wedding day and are organizing the pieces you have bought or rented, work through this list to make sure you have accounted for everything! This will be particularly helpful as you are in those final stages and packing everything up to be moved to the venue! Remember, every wedding is unique and you may not want to incorporate some of these pieces. If you don’t want some piece, don’t force it just because it is on this list! If you have planned for other pieces, feel free to copy and paste this then add in your own specific bullet points.
Getting Ready Space:
Food
Something to serve food on
Plates
Napkins
Drinks
Something to serve drinks from
Something to drink drinks from
Signage
Invitation/Save the Dates (for pictures)
Speakers to play music from
Phone or other device to play music from (pro tip: if you are getting ready in a place that won’t have wifi or cell reception download your playlist ahead of time!)
Special hanger for dress
Something to wear while getting ready
Ceremony:
Altar flowers
Altar Floor decor
Aisle decor
Ceremony programs
Table for special ceremonies (i.e. sand ceremony, glass ceremony, wine ceremony, etc.)
Decor for special ceremony table
Signs (welcome, unplugged ceremony signs, etc.)
Easel for signs
Cocktail Hour:
Gift table
Linen
Sign for gift table
Card box
Guest book
Pen(s) for guest book
Something to hold pens
Decor for gift table
Flowers for gift table
Appetizer table
Linen
Signs/labels for apps
Serving utensils for apps
Plates
Forks
Napkins
Self service drink station table
Linen
Drink dispenser
Labels for beverages
Cups
Bar
Bar menu
Flowers
Reception Area:
Seating chart
Easel for seating chart
Flowers to dress up easel
Place card table
Linen
Place cards
Sign for place cards
Flowers
Other decor
Cake/dessert table
Linen
Display for cake
Cake topper
Serving set of cake knife and server
Plates for cake
Forks for cake
Napkins
Cake stand(s)
Other display items for other desserts
Other decor
Flowers
Sweetheart table
Linen
Special plates
Special cups
Flatware
Napkins
Flowers for the top of table
Other decor for top of table
Flowers for front of table
Other decor for front of table
Guest tables
Linen
Flowers
Candles
Table number
Table number stands
Other decor/personal touches
Plates
Flatware
Drinkware
Napkins