Soaking Up the Sun: Ideas for Your Summertime SoCal Wedding
Los Angeles, and southern California at large, has some of the most beautiful wedding venues in the world. No matter your style, you can find a venue that matches your tastes. The endless sunshine, especially in summer, offers a unique canvas for creating a magical celebration. But planning a summer wedding in SoCal comes with some unique challenges. Here are some tips from our experience as Los Angeles wedding planners for planning a perfect summer wedding!
*Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no cost to you.*
Start with the venue!
Beach Bliss: Typically the California coastline boasts cooler weather than inland. So even in summer an outdoor wedding can be comfortable. When planning your wedding by the water in , opt for a light, airy feel with white chairs and pops of color in the florals.
DO: Choose a venue in a place Malibu, Palos Verdes, or Santa Barbara where the temperature is mild in the summer
DON’T: Plan an outdoor wedding during the summer in San Fernando Valley, where the temperatures hit triple digits during the summer months.
Vineyard Charm: Did you know that Los Angeles has a surprising number of wineries? These venues offer a sophisticated yet relaxed ambiance, perfect for an afternoon ceremony followed by an alfresco reception under the twinkling stars.
DO: Consider a vineyard style venue like Cielo Farms, located in Malibu!
DON’T: Forget about Santa Barbara! The area boasts many gorgeous vineyard style venues like Zaca Mesa Winery in Los Olivos, CA.
Rooftop Romance: A wedding downtown might suit your tastes! An early evening ceremony on a venue’s panoramic rooftop at a venue can capture the sunset with a touch of urban chic. Afterwards, your guests can head indoors for a sleek modern reception.
DO: Opt for a ceremony start date after 5pm - when the sun’s rays have dimmed a bit.
DON’T: Forget ambient lighting! String lights always have a magical feel.
PRO-TIP: Ask your DJ if they provide mood lighting!
Some of our decor picks for a beach wedding:
Working with the Elements
Dress for comfort: Choose light and airy fabrics over heavier ones.
DO: Choose clothes made of plant fabrics, like cotton or linen that breathe well
DON’T: Wear heavy, non-breathable fabrics like satin or velvet at an outdoor summer wedding
Floral Fantasy: Choose flowers that are heat-resistant, or dried even flowers! Succulents are always a quirky touch. Don't be afraid to get creative with centerpieces and floral arrangements.
DO: Choose flowers like lavender, geraniums, and zinnias, that tolerate heat well
DON’T: Leave flowers like hydrangeas, roses, or anemones out in the heat, as they will quickly wilt!
Beat the Heat: While the sun is a welcome guest, be mindful of your guests' comfort. Provide shaded areas, offer fans or parasols, and have cooling beverages readily available before and throughout the ceremony and reception.
DO: Have a refreshment station available to guests pre-ceremony
DON’T: Have your guests sitting in direct sun during the ceremony!
Have a Plan B: Consider an alternative indoor location for your ceremony should it be too hot on your wedding day. You may also reserve large umbrellas or tents from a rental company. Be sure to check the weather every day up until your wedding day! Make a plan with your planner/coordinator in advance in case of inclement weather.
DO: Have some indoor or shaded spaces for guests at an outdoor wedding
DON’T: Forget that weather forecasts are just that - forecasts! Anything can happen weather-wise, so be prepared!
Culinary Delights
Light and Fresh Fare: A hot, heavy meal might not be the most satisfying under the summer sun. Choose lighter dishes like fresh seafood, seasonal salads, and chilled soups.
California Cuisine: Embrace the local food scene! Offer a menu that reflects SoCal’s diverse culinary landscape, with options like gourmet tacos, fresh sushi platters, or wood-fired pizzas. A food truck is always a fun catering option
Sweet Summer Treats: Who doesn't love a cold dessert on a hot day? Set up a gelato stand or have a beautifully-decorated cake with lighter flavors like lemon or berries.
Time to Party:
Live Music Under the Stars: Hire a local band to create a lively atmosphere. Choose music that reflects your taste and gets your guests moving on the dance floor. Live music doesn’t have to be at the reception - a soloist pre-ceremony or during cocktail hour is great as well.
Photo Booth Fun: Provide a photo booth with fun props for guests to capture memories of your special day.
Backyard Games: Set up some fun lawn games like cornhole or giant Jenga to keep guests entertained during cocktail hour or breaks between dancing.
PRO-TIP: These games can usually be rented through a rental company, or purchased, if you are looking to have at-home entertainment in the future that doubles as a wedding memento
Don't forget the little details:
Sun Protection: Offer sunscreen or parasols as a thoughtful touch for your guests to protect themselves from the Angeleno sun.
Bug Spray: Warm evenings can bring mosquitos. Having bug spray on hand ensures your guests remain comfortable throughout the celebration. Citronella candles are also a way to keep bugs at bay.
Useful favors: Water bottles with custom labels, plastic sunglasses, and hand fans are cute guest favors that double as useful tool for staying cool during the wedding.
Skip the Flight: 5 LA Wedding Venues with European Charm
Los Angeles, often associated with Hollywood glamour and sunshine, might surprise you when it comes to wedding venues. This city and its surrounding areas boast a wealth of hidden gems that evoke the romance and architectural elegance of Europe, offering a unique and unforgettable wedding experience. Imagine exchanging vows in a meticulously-landscaped Italian garden, celebrating within the walls of a historic mansion, meandering around an English castle fit for a queen, or enjoying breathtaking ocean views from a Spanish style Hacienda – all without the need for a plane ticket.
Los Angeles, often associated with Hollywood glamour and sunshine, might surprise you when it comes to wedding venues. This city and its surrounding areas boast a wealth of hidden gems that evoke the romance and architectural elegance of Europe, offering a unique and unforgettable wedding experience. Imagine exchanging vows in a meticulously-landscaped Italian garden, celebrating within the walls of a historic mansion, meandering around an English castle fit for a queen, or enjoying breathtaking ocean views from a Spanish style Hacienda – all without the need for a plane ticket.
Here are five exceptional Los Angeles-area venues that will transport you and your guests to a European wonderland:
Maxwell House
Pasadena, CA
Step back in time to the opulent Gilded Age at the Maxwell House on Millionaire’s Row in Pasadena. This restored Victorian mansion, with its intricate woodwork and beautifully landscaped courtyard, embodies the grandeur of a bygone era. Picture yourselves exchanging vows amidst the opulent interior, or in the pretty courtyard. Capture moments with your bridal party on the dramatic staircase in the main hall.
Maxwell House | Photographer:@tailoredtotheheart
Adamson House
Malibu, CA
For a wedding with a touch of Spanish glamour, the Adamson House in Malibu is a dream come true. This Spanish colonial revival mansion, located right on the beach, has terracotta roof tiles, hand-carved doors, and gardens bursting with colorful flora. Exchange vows right on the Pacific Ocean, Then follow with a sophisticated reception. The sound of waves crashing in the background creates an extraordinary experience.
The Shakespeare Club
Pasadena, CA
Literature lovers will find themselves enchanted by the Shakespeare Club in Pasadena. This venue with its cozy nooks reminds you of an regal countryside home. You can have your ceremony on the terrace. Following the ceremony, your guests can move into the ballroom. Be sure to take romantic photos under the arbor. This unique and romantic venue will feel as though it's been plucked straight from the pages of your favorite novel.
Greystone Mansion
Beverly Hills, CA
For a touch of English stately home grandeur, look no further than Greystone Mansion in Beverly Hills. This iconic estate boasts sprawling lawns that could be straight out of a Jane Austen novel. Have your ceremony on the sweeping front lawn, surrounded by loved ones, clinking glasses and making memories.
Villa del Sol d'Oro
Sierra Madre, CA
Nestled in the foothills above Pasadena, Villa del Sol d'Oro offers a touch of Italian allure. This private estate boasts manicured gardens reminiscent of a Tuscan vineyard, adorned with charming water features and overflowing with vibrant flora. The grand villa itself, a historic building with original features, evokes images of sunset soirees under the Italian sky. Exchange vows a flower-filled archway, followed by a reception on the terrazza, all set against a backdrop of breathtaking mountain vistas.
All Things Wedding MC
You spend hours of time, loads of energy, and a lot of money making sure your wedding day will be perfect. As you work to bring your plans together, your wedding will begin to develop a personality (aka a vibe, feel, or mood). Usually the personality your wedding takes on is a reflection of your own. As the primary source of communication to guests, a professional MC conveys this personality to the guests. Of course this person isn’t you and they will have their own unique personality to bring to the table, but it is important to find a professional who will accurately represent you, your fiance, and your wedding vision! Follow this guide to make sure you feel confident in the MC you select!
This guide is divided into 3 sections:
Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding MC
Questions to ask an MC prior to booking
Ways to maximize your MC’s services
You spend hours of time, loads of energy, and a lot of money making sure your wedding day will be perfect. As you work to bring your plans together, your wedding will begin to develop a personality. Usually the personality your wedding takes on is a reflection of your own. As the primary source of communication to all wedding attendees, a professional MC conveys this personality to everyone. Though this person will bring their own unique charisma to the table, it is important to find a professional who will accurately represent you, your fiance, and your wedding vision! Follow this guide to make sure you feel confident in the MC you select!
This guide is divided into 3 sections:
Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding MC
Questions to ask an MC prior to booking
Ways to maximize your MC’s services
Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding MC
What is an MC? An MC (Emcee), or Master of Ceremonies, is essentially the voice of your wedding. They are the liaison between you, your vendors, your timeline, and the guests. Not to be confused with a coordinator, who communicates between you and your vendors to make sure everything is running smoothly and on time, an MC communicates between the coordinator and guests to keep everyone informed of what will happen next. In addition to making important announcements, they typically also provide an element of entertainment to the guests.
You need someone to MC. The role that an MC plays is a big piece of what separates a wedding from any other event. Even if you aren’t interested in hiring an MC as an entertainer, someone will still need to be designated to make announcements. Without an MC the guests, or even you, might not know what to do at any particular time. For example, the MC will direct people from one area to another (ceremony, to cocktail hour, to reception, to dancing, etc.), release tables to take turns at a buffet, announce when the bar is open and closed, introduce special events (i.e. the grand entrance, special dances, toasts, etc.), and bring energy to the dance floor!
Typically your musician will double as, or provide, an MC, but this isn’t always the case. Typically the DJ or lead singer of a wedding band will serve as an MC. If they don’t personally act as an MC, they usually offer an MC as an add-on to their services. Sometimes these professionals don’t include or offer options for this service, and you will need to find a professional on your own. In some cases, even if your musician can MC, a separate professional may be necessary if announcements need to made in multiple languages. When booking a musician, inquire about their MC work, and/or request an MC that is bilingual if necessary.
Professionals specializing MC work usually have a very specific style. Some people specialize in wedding MCing, but it is more common to find an MC who specializes in events as a general category. While anyone MCing will have their own “microphone voice,” professionals who specialize in this kind of work tend to have more niche styles. A professional MC may host game night at a local bar, fashion shows, bingo nights, drag shows, standup comedy shows, etc., all of which require a niche persona. This means they are likely to have a specific MC style that may or may not work for you. You can judge this based on samples of their work they provide, how they speak on the phone, or by attending an event they are hosting prior to booking.
Some MCs double as musicians; proceed with caution. Not to be confused with musicians who double as an MC, some professional MCs also dabble in music on the side and may want to do a performance at your wedding. Again, be sure to check out samples of their work to make sure this is something you are comfortable with! Sometimes it works out amazingly, and they offer an incredible show to guests. Sometimes it goes less than stellar. Do your due diligence and make sure any performance they will do will go over well with your specific crowd.
Some MCs double as comedians; proceed with caution. MCs are almost always at least a little funny and charismatic. This makes for a great host! Guests don’t want to hear a monotone voice making bland announcements. Often lack of character allows for announcements to go unheard, as even an amplified monotone voice is easily lost in the noise of the crowd. However, there is a difference between a little bit of charming humor and a full on stand up routine. Even if you love comedy and a full stand up routine sounds awesome, make sure that their sense of humor is in line with what you envisioned for your wedding!
An MC is an entertainer, but they shouldn’t steal the show. As the host of your wedding, an MC is expected to provide entertainment for guests. This may include walking around to guests and asking them questions about the newlyweds, encouraging guests to dance, or making announcements in an upbeat and engaging way. There is an incredible finesse required to provide entertainment without making the day about themselves. This is easily avoided by checking out their work prior to booking!
MCs don’t usually provide their own sound equipment. Since it is unusual for MCs to provide their own sound equipment, you will need to source this elsewhere. Typically your DJ, venue, or wedding band will provide the sound equipment. Make sure that whoever is providing sound equipment is on board with sharing. If none of these vendors are supplying a sound system, you will need to source it elsewhere so music and announcements can be heard throughout your event space.
Meet with a potential MC you are interested in on the phone or in person and pay attention to their speaking voice. Listen to the cadence of their voice. Pay attention to their energy, word choice, personality, and overall sound they produce when they speak. This will provide a lot more insight into their MC style than any single question ever could. If the person is engaging, interesting, and professional in a meeting, there is a good chance those qualities will carry over to their MC work.
Don’t just read reviews, read into reviews. An MC may have five stars across all review platforms, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are a good fit for you. While this is true for all vendors, it is especially true for MCs because their work style is so subjective. Look for trends in the reviews that can provide a little more insight into what this professional's work style is like. For example, if you see multiple 5 star reviews that consistently say something to the effect of “they playfully teased all of our guests and did a lot of funny celebrity impressions,” recurring throughout reviews, that person is probably going to perform similarly at your wedding. Other couples may have loved this and left all five star reviews, but if the thought of your guests being the butt of a joke and having to listen to celebrity impressions all night makes you cringe, that professional isn’t going to be the right fit for you.
Questions to ask prior to booking an MC
Basics-
Are you available on my date?
Can you work within my budget?
Do you require a deposit? How much?
When is the balance due?
What is your preferred method of payment?
What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?
What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?
What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?
What is the backup plan if you are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?
Are there any additional fees, such as travel fees, that are not included in the package price?
Are you licensed?
Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your staff and property?
Experience & style-
How long have you been a professional MC?
Do you specialize in a certain type of event?
How long have you been MCing weddings?
How many weddings have you MCd?
How would you describe your MC style?
What makes you stand apart from other MCs?
Are you open to hosting games or special events we have planned?
Do you offer any additional services or typically do special performances?
Have you worked at our venue before? (Hint: This is particularly important if the venue includes a house sound system. An MC that is familiar with your venue and their system will be familiar with how to start up the system and quicker able to troubleshoot, should any issues arise.)
Have you worked with our musician(s) before?
If applicable, can you make announcements in English and another language? (Hint: Typically at multicultural events a special MC will be hired to make announcements so that all of the guests can understand. Usually these MCs will make announcements in English and your preferred language, but some MCs will only make announcements in the language you have specifically hired them for. This can pose an issue if some guests don’t speak this language, and creates the same problem they were hired to alleviate in the first place! Make sure that someone is available to translate for guests so everyone is in the know for important events!)
Can we see videos of you hosting a previous event or attend a live event that you are MCing?
Logistics-
Do you provide your own sound equipment?
If you do provide sound equipment, will our guests have access to your microphone for speeches/toasts?
If we decide we want the party to last longer, can we add extra hours onto our package on the night of the wedding?
What is the rate for additional hours?
Do you require breaks?
Do you require a vendor meal?
Will you MC any other events throughout our wedding weekend?
Ways to maximize your MC’s services
Set up a phone or in person meeting prior to the wedding to go over all of the details. It is important that the MC is well versed in all of your wedding day plans so they can do their job to the best of their ability. In order to set themselves up for success, most MCs will require either a phone or in person meeting prior to your wedding to go over the details. If they don’t require a meeting, arrange one yourself! Everyone will be better off if the details are reviewed together in advance. This meeting will be most beneficial within the final week or two of your wedding. As you finalize planning details, slight things may shift. Set up your meeting with your MC as close to your wedding as possible (without it being so close that the MC doesn’t have time to prepare and you feel overwhelmed with a lot of last minute to-do’s) to ensure they are receiving the most finalized and accurate information regarding your wedding plans.
Send the MC your timeline prior to having a final details meeting with them about your wedding plans. This will give the MC an opportunity to look through the timeline and prepare any questions they may have for you. The MC will need to be familiar with the timeline to make sure they understand the flow of the evening, when to make announcements, and, on the day of your wedding, know when to check in with your coordinator and other vendors to make sure everyone is ready for the next scheduled event prior to making the announcement.
Specify how you, the newlyweds, would like to be referred to. Your MC will be announcing, at least referring to you, several times throughout the evening. Make sure you specify what you’d like to be called as a couple. While traditionally newlyweds used to be referred to as “Mr. and Mrs. [man’s full name here]” that isn’t always the case anymore. With so much variation in who can be married and the dynamic between couples shifting, weddings have come a long way from the days where new couples were introduced as “Mr. & Mrs. John Smith!” Some other alternatives include just your first names, “the newlyweds,” “the Smith’s,” “John & Philip Smith,” etc.
If you need your MC to announce any names, spell the names out phonetically. Even simple names get mispronounced on occasion. An easy way to avoid this is to write out the phonetic spelling next to the names so the MC knows exactly how to say the names (i.e. Mary = M-air-ee). Write out your name, your fiance's name, and your last name(s) phonetically so the MC pronounces them correctly all evening long. Even if you talk to your MC many times and you and/or they say your names repeatedly, it is YOUR special day and your names are worth guaranteeing correct pronunciation! Usually more than just the newlywed’s names will be announced at some point during the wedding. Important guests will give speeches and often newlyweds want to include additional people in the grand entrance (i.e. the wedding party, immediate family members, sponsors, etc.). Provide these names in writing with specifications on how to pronounce them, so everybody’s name is announced correctly!
Thoroughly discuss any announcements your MC will need to make. Prior to the wedding, you will likely plan and predetermine specific announcements that will need to be made. Make sure to provide these announcements in writing to your MC. The timeline is the perfect place to write out the specific announcements so the MC can track exactly when announcements are intended to be made. Be sure to discuss all of the announcements with your MC. Let them know if you want the exact wording you have provided, or if they have a little leeway on what should be said.
Let the MC know ahead of time when to NOT speak. Some people only want the MC to speak when it is time for designated announcements. Others want entertainment all throughout the event. Many people want something in between. If there are any times throughout the night you’d rather the MC keep to themselves (i.e. special dances, the duration of dinner, the duration of cocktail hour, etc.) let them know ahead of time. If the MC isn’t given any specifications of when to keep quiet, they may feel the need to fill in gaps by telling jokes, narrating special events (i.e. “wow look at that twirl,” “Oh they’re going for dip,” “smash the cake!!”, etc.), or engaging guests on the microphone (i.e. inquiring about how they know the couple, asking for a random guest to provide relationship advice, asking for a quick impromptu speech from a random guest, etc.). All of these examples are fairly typical of an MC, so they can’t be blamed for doing any of this if they haven’t been told otherwise!
Discuss specific jokes, questions, games, etc. that you’d like included with your MC. If there is anything specific or out of the norm you’d like included at some point at your wedding, let the MC know! If you want any games, specific forms of guest engagement, or other out-of-the-norm approaches to entertainment make sure the MC knows ahead of time so they can prepare accordingly! While the examples listed under #6 are not out of the norm for MCs, they also shouldn’t be expected unless you specify you would like them to engage and entertain guests in these ways.
Be sure to inform the MC of any “don’t breach topics.” If there is anything that should never, ever be brought up with your family or guests LET THE MC KNOW! There is nothing worse than an MC making a statement, telling a joke, or asking a question and it being followed by a dramatic, awkward pause amongst the crowd! The best way to avoid this is to let them know about any “don’t go there topics” ahead of time. Even if it feels like an overshare, it will be better for everyone in the end if the MC knows what topics to avoid.
Specify who should and should not be given a microphone. It is fairly common for a distant relative or friend to suddenly become inspired and want to give an impromptu speech at a wedding (especially once the alcohol starts flowing). Some couples are happy to open the floor to anyone who wants to give a toast, while others strictly want to stick to the planned speeches. There are any number of reasons for either of these approaches, but if you anticipate any guests becoming an issue, make sure your MC knows who, under no circumstances, should never get a hold of the microphone.
Provide all information in writing. While a phone or in person meeting is of the utmost importance, it is equally important to write down all instructions, wants, dislikes, etc. for your MC. While it is important that information is provided in writing for all vendors, it is especially important for your MC, because their mistakes are amplified (literally, via the microphone). If your caterer forgets to set out appetizer plates, they can quickly fix the problem with minimal guests noticing. If your MC messes up your last name, everyone will be aware. Your MC will likely be pouring over your written notes prior to the wedding in order to prepare, but will typically bring all of the notes with them to make sure everything is going the way you discussed! Little details are much more likely to slip by the wayside if they don’t have written notes and are simply trying to remember everything you said in a phone conversation! This will also help if your coordinator or a guest approach the MC to inquire why they are or are not doing something. If the MC has specific instructions in writing that they are not supposed to tell jokes or engage with guests during dinner they can prove they are doing their job exactly as you wanted!
All Things Wedding Officiant
A wedding ceremony is, in many ways, the single most important piece to a wedding. This is what brings all of your friends and family together to celebrate! When you become engaged you are agreeing to make a commitment through a marriage ceremony. Agreeing to make this ceremonial commitment is the catalyst that inspires all of the additional pretty, fun, and functional aspects to your wedding day. It is important to find an officiant that will preform a ceremony that aligns with your vision, values, and beliefs. Since the officiant will lead your wedding ceremony, and is typically in charge of writing the ceremony, this person will play a pivotal role in getting your marriage started on the right foot. Follow this guide to feel confident in the person you select to officiate your wedding!
This guide is divided into 3 sections:
Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding officiant
Questions to ask an officiant prior to booking
Ways to maximize your officiant’s services
A wedding ceremony is, in many ways, the single most important piece to a wedding. This is what brings all of your friends and family together to celebrate! When you become engaged you are agreeing to make a commitment through a marriage ceremony. Agreeing to make this ceremonial commitment is the catalyst that inspires all of the additional pretty, fun, and functional aspects to your wedding day. It is important to find an officiant that will preform a ceremony that aligns with your vision, values, and beliefs. Since the officiant will lead your wedding ceremony, and is typically in charge of writing the ceremony, this person will play a pivotal role in getting your marriage started on the right foot. Follow this guide to feel confident in the person you select to officiate your wedding!
This guide is divided into 3 sections:
Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding officiant
Questions to ask an officiant prior to booking
Ways to maximize your officiant’s services
Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding officiant
Officiants are called many things. A wedding officiant is any legally certified person delivering a wedding ceremony. This can be a religious leader, non-denominational ordained professional, or an ordained friend. Some of the most common names for officiants are:
Officiant
Celebrant
Justice of the Peace
Any religious leader (i.e. Priest, Rabbi, Preacher, Pastor, Swami, Minister, etc.)
Any person can officiate your wedding, but they must be ordained in order to legally marry you. Whoever is delivering your wedding ceremony must be ordained prior to your wedding ceremony, in order for your marriage to be legal. Becoming ordained online is easy and FREE! This is awesome news if you want a friend or family member to officiate your wedding! It is also a great reason to properly vet any person claiming to be a professional. Since it is so simple to obtain certification to legally perform marriages, essentially anyone can provide this service. Be sure to read reviews, gather samples of their work, have a clear understanding of the exact services they will provide, and ensure your personalities mesh well before hiring a professional wedding officiant.
Certain places of worship will require you to use their religious leader. If you find a chapel other than your usual place of worship, you may have to use their in-house worship leader to perform your ceremony. This is typically only an issue if you are hosting your wedding out of town and wish to fly your own religious leader in for your wedding. Confirm with your chapel prior to booking that this is okay! If you intend to be married at a place of worship, confirm with them their policies on outside vendors, prior to booking your officiant to avoid potentially loosing a deposit.
Certain religious leaders require both parties involved in the marriage be officially baptized (or the equivalent) into their faith. Most couples who come across this issue are already aware of this prior to becoming engaged. A couple important things to note on this topic:
Just because some or most religious leaders of a certain faith require this, doesn’t mean that all leaders in your faith will. Finding someone who will do this may prove a challenge for certain religions, but they are out there!
(Take or leave this point as you see fit…) If your fiance is uncomfortable changing religions, it isn’t a great idea to pressure them into switching. You are agreeing to marry this person because you love them for who they already are (and vice versa!). Their religious beliefs (or lack thereof) are a huge piece of who they are- so to change this, is to change them. If this proves to be a huge hinderance on wedding planning, seek the professional guidance of a marriage counselor whose services are rooted in any faith (especially neither of your own) for some unbiased support as you navigate this delicate territory.
Sometimes neither of the engaged parties will really care about each other’s religious beliefs, but family members will. The best advice on this is to make your family feel heard by addressing their reasoning for wanting you to have certain religious aspects incorporated into your wedding, but ultimately remember and remind them that it is YOUR wedding and YOUR commitment, NOT your family’s. For more advice on this incredibly touchy subject, reference the “Managing Outside Opinions Surrounding Your Wedding” guide.
Certain religious leaders require you to take premarital counseling or classes with them prior to your wedding. Premarital counseling or classes are not a bad thing! They provide the opportunity to gauge how “on the same page” you and your fiance are by encouraging you to discuss your visions and plans for some of life’s common and major milestones prior to making a major commitment. However, you may not find counseling or classes necessary in your unique situation and these services almost always cost additional money. Check with your potential officiant for their policies and rates for these services. If your officiant doesn’t require premarital counseling or classes, you may still want to consider doing this! There are plenty of professionals out there offering premarital counseling completely separate from officiating services.
Most wedding ceremonies are customized by the officiant based on the couple they are intended for. The officiant will write your wedding ceremony. Many couples, especially those opting out of full religious ceremonies, will choose to write their own wedding vows. Aside from the vows, the officiant will plan the rest of the speaking. They usually include a little background on themselves, why they were chosen to officiate (i.e. “I’ve been a close friend…,” “I have been X’s Rabbi since they were little…” etc.), an anecdote about the couple, and some words of wisdom to the couple. Make sure you find someone who is going to write a beautiful ceremony that will put you and your guests in the right mindset for commitment!
You will likely watch the video of your ceremony many times throughout your life, make sure you find an officiant you want to hear over, and over again! Aside from the ceremony itself, make sure that you like your officiant's voice, speaking style, level of formality, and ceremony delivery style. You can do this by requesting sample videos from previous ceremonies! If you choose to have a friend or family member officiate, they don’t necessarily need to write the ceremony in its entirety. However, you probably won’t want to hear the whole ceremony prior to the wedding (the element of surprise in the moment makes the ceremony fun and extra special!). You can get around this by writing a decent portion of the ceremony, but leaving a section in the beginning blank for them to prepare something special. Alternatively, you can let them know specific things you’d like included (or left out!) to help guide their ceremony creation process. For example, if you love a particular quote or want special readings done you can ask them to include these in the ceremony.
If you choose a friend or family member to officiate, choose wisely! Choosing a significant person in your life to lead your wedding ceremony is a great way to add a level of personalization to your wedding. This is also a great way to save money, since becoming ordained online is free! If you are exploring the possibility of asking a friend or family member to officiant your wedding, there are a few key characteristics to consider before signing them up.
Find a person that is close, but ideally not too close to either party being married. Being extremely close to one of the parties shouldn’t necessarily count out an individual as a possible officiant, but it does open the door for the person getting a little too emotional. A little emotion is great! It makes the ceremony that much more special! However, if you, your fiance, AND your officiant are all heavily crying throughout the ceremony you may need to take a lot of breaks and the ceremony may last longer than you anticipated. Alternatively, if you and your fiance aren’t big criers, having a blubbering officiant may seem out of place and alter the vibe you wanted for your ceremony. That being said, if a family member or very close friend is perfect in every other way and you’re confident they will have a very appropriate control over their emotions, they might just be the ideal person to lead your ceremony. In contrast, a person too emotionally distant from the couple may not take the role as seriously, may be unable to write a heartfelt and/or meaningful ceremony, and may not be in your lives down the road. A person in the sweet-spot will be close enough to be a constant presence throughout your lives, know enough to create a thoughtful and genuine ceremony, and be removed enough to keep the crying to a minimum.
Are they a good public speaker? Think through how confident this person will be speaking in front of a crowd. Even if they are usually an outgoing and gregarious person, this won’t necessarily translate to public speaking. Does their job require them to speak publicly or give presentations? Do they have any experience speaking into a microphone? A few factors that will play into the overall success as a public speaker are experience, confidence, natural speaking volume, and meeting the perfect sweet spot in closeness to you.
Will they respect the significance of the ceremony? Including a few jokes and taking a playful approach to delivering your wedding ceremony is totally fine, if that is what you want! However, there is a difference between keeping things light-hearted and playful vs. turning your wedding ceremony into a complete joke. You want to feel like you just made a meaningful commitment to one another at the end of your ceremony, not like you just were the butt of a joke.
You want an officiant, not a character. This is an extension of the last point, but it is worth diving further into detail. Confidence and cockiness are two different things. When selecting an officiant, be hyperaware of the difference. If the person you are considering always seems to be “on” when around people, they are likely not the best person to officiate your wedding. Your wedding ceremony shouldn’t be an opportunity for your officiant to put on a show for the guests. If this person tends to be a “class clown” type, commands all of the attention when they walk into any room, or has an air of self-importance, you run the risk of them making your special moment about them, instead of about your love and commitment. Again, putting their own flavor, personality, and a level of playfulness into the ceremony is great! Taking advantage of a seated crowd and microphone access to practice their latest standup, is not so great.
How likely is this person to adequately prepare for our wedding ceremony? If you have an individual in mind who is a great public speaker and will be respectful to the significance of the day, in theory they will adequately prepare. They will write a thoughtful and beautiful ceremony that matches your personalities and practice enough to deliver the ceremony like a true friend and professional! However, if you are considering someone with a notorious track record of procrastination, maybe keep searching.
Make sure they are up for the task. Let them know what the job entails in-full, upfront before allowing them to commit. If you sense any hesitation, don’t pressure them! This is a big favor you are asking of someone, so if they don’t want to do it or they are worried about their ability to perform let them off the hook! Whenever you ask make sure they know they don’t have to officiate, but that you thought they would be a great and meaningful person for the job!
Questions to ask an officiant prior to booking
The basics-
Are you legally certified to marry people in my state? Through which institution did you receive your certificate?
Are you available on my date?
Can you work within my budget?
Do you require a deposit? How much?
When is the balance due?
What is your preferred method of payment?
What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?
What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?
What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?
What is the backup plan if you are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?
Are there any additional fees such as travel fees, delivery fees, etc. that are not included in the package price?
Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your staff and property?
Experience & style information-
How long have you been officiating weddings?
How many weddings do you typically officiate a weekend?
How many weddings do you typically officiate a year?
How do you identify religiously?
If you identify with a certain religion, how much of that religion is incorporated into the ceremonies you deliver? (Hint: Some non-denominational religious officiants will still incorporate mentions of God or prayers into the wedding ceremony. If this is something you’d like to minimize or avoid completely make sure they are willing to comply with this request!)
If you don’t identify with any religion, can we still request a few mentions of God in our ceremony? (Hint: Some couples wishing to minimize mention of God, still want one or two references. If you find a non-religious officiant make sure that they are comfortable and willing to make this accommodation!)
The ceremony details-
Do you have a set ceremony script or will you customize our ceremony for us?
How do you create and customize our ceremony?
Are we allowed to have input in certain aspects of our ceremony? If so, how much input and on what aspects are we allowed to offer our opinions? (Hint: If you want any readings done by the officiant or a wedding guest, special ceremonies such as sand ceremony, glass ceremony, cord ceremony, etc., songs sung by friends or family, etc., be sure to confirm that the officiant is comfortable and willing to allow these things to happen!)
Can we write our own vows? Can you help us with this? If we decide we need support with our vows, how will you offer guidance?
How long do your ceremonies typically last? Can we shorten or extend this time if we were picturing something a little different?
When will you arrive on our wedding day?
What will you wear on our wedding day? (Hint: This person will be front and center for the duration of your ceremony, which makes them a focal point for your guests. They will also be in a lot of your ceremony pictures, so make sure their attire is something professional that won’t distract from you and your fiance!)
Pre-wedding access & requirements-
How many times will we meet before our wedding?
Will you attend our ceremony rehearsal?
Will you lead our ceremony rehearsal? (Hint: Oftentimes religious leaders of certain faiths prefer or require they lead ceremony rehearsals without any assistance from wedding coordinators or planners. If running the rehearsal is not included in your officiant’s services, your wedding planner or day-of coordinator will typically lead the ceremony rehearsal.)
Do you offer or require premarital counseling? Is there an additional fee for this service?
Ways to maximize your officiant’s services
Communicate your vision for the ceremony clearly. Whether you want long, short, deeply religious, no mention of religion, etc. let your officiant know! Be clear about your expectations so they can make adjustments accordingly.
Meet with your officiant and tell them a little about yourselves! In order for a ceremony to be personal, the officiant needs the opportunity to get to know you and your fiance. When you meet with your officiant, give them some details about how you met, some important chapters in your relationship’s history, and a good idea of who you are as individuals and a couple.
Do some research on your own into wedding ceremonies. Not only will this help you find things you want to incorporate into your own ceremony, but it will also give you an idea of things you don’t want included in your ceremony. Even if you don’t find anything you’d like included verbatim, you may find general ideas or even smaller ceremonies (i.e. sand ceremony, cord ceremony, glass ceremony, etc.) to incorporate into your overall ceremony.
Write your vows and share them with your officiant. Some officiants will offer feedback on your wedding vows. If they do, take advantage of this service! Make sure your words are coherent and cohesive to a third party and will fit into the time you have chosen to allot for your overall ceremony.
All Things Wedding Photographer
You spend months planning and preparing for your big day, and then just like that it comes and goes. The pictures (and potentially video) are the only concrete things you will have left to remember all of the special little moments that sped by. When it comes to booking a photographer there are so many things to consider in order to feel confident in your selection. Follow this guide to have a positive experience from start to finish with your wedding photographer!
This article is divided into 4 sections:
Things to consider about wedding photographers
Questions to ask a photographer prior to booking
What to do after booking to maximize the photographers services
An example photo shot list
You spend months planning and preparing for your big day, and then just like that it comes and goes. The pictures (and potentially video) are the only concrete things you will have left to remember all of the special little moments that flew by. Your wedding photographer is an investment in your memories! When it comes to booking a photographer there are so many things to consider in order to feel confident in your selection. Follow this guide to have a positive experience from start to finish with your wedding photographer!
This article is divided into 4 sections:
Things to consider about wedding photographers
Questions to ask a photographer prior to booking
What to do after booking to maximize the photographers services
An example photo shot list
Things to consider about wedding photographers
A wedding photographer is different from other photographers. Wedding photography requires a specific skill set that develops after working many weddings. They need to anticipate reactions, micro-events, and opportune moments for raw emotion. A professional wedding photographer has also mastered the skill of being in the right place at the right time, while avoiding stepping into the way of the bridal party or other professionals. They also are there to capture your emotion on a very important day. In order to do this properly, it takes a practiced eye! Wedding photographers also often are capturing individuals who aren’t used to being in front of a camera. Their experience helps make their clients feel comfortable expressing those incredible emotions in front of the camera and posing the couples who are a little camera shy!
There are a million photography and editing styles out there. Wedding photography looks so different from photographer to photographer. Before diving into your photographer search, be sure to do a little research into the various styles. This will help direct your search and guide your selection process.
Check for photo clarity when browsing albums. No matter what style of photography you are drawn to, check for photo clarity. This offers insight not only into skill and experience level, but also quality of equipment! Photo clarity is a good sign of a highly experienced, skilled individual working with great equipment! There are plenty of opportunities for action shots and of course those may be a little less clear than the still photos, but there should still be a general consistency of clarity amongst their photos.
Make sure your contract protects you. This is true for all vendors, but it is especially common to find vague or ambiguous wording in photography contracts. Time frames for photo return, a minimum amount of deliverable photos, and additional costs (should you choose to add a service later) should be specifically outlined in your contract. If you love a photographer and find that this information is missing from their contract, ask for it to be added! If they refuse to add in concrete deliverable information, this is a pretty big warning sign that they aren’t confident in the promises they are making!
Be mindful when negotiating pricing. Providing and valuing a service is a daunting task for an artistic professional. These professionals spend years perfecting their craft and adjust their pricing based on their ever evolving skill level and demand for service. If you fall in love with a vendor who is out of your price range, it never hurts to ask if they can accommodate your budget. The key here though is asking and understanding if they aren’t able to make this accommodation.
Always look through a few full albums before booking. Everyone wants to put their best foot forward, so the photographs included on each professional's website is going to be what they consider to accurately and positively reflect their work. Occasionally, photographers will link a full album or two on their website, but more often than not they will include just the highlights. There is nothing wrong with only including the highlights on their website! There is plenty of reason to do so! Typically you can find at least anywhere from 15-50 photos from past weddings on photographers’ websites to give an example of their work and hopefully entice you enough to reach out. However, 15-50 particularly gorgeous photos are not enough to gauge the consistency of quality in their work. Request a few full albums to peruse (they will almost always happily provide these- if they don’t, be concerned!). Look through the full albums to make sure they are consistent with the quality they exemplify on their website!
Talk to the professional either in person or on the phone prior to booking. This is true for all vendors, but especially important with your photographer. Your photographer will be spending the entire day with you, so it is very important to find someone whose personality meshes with yours.
Understand the difference between posed photos and authentic moments. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to capturing authentic moments vs. posed photos, but there is value in understanding the difference as a consumer. If you like being told how and where to stand, that is totally fine! Just be sure that you find a photographer who has experience doing this! If you prefer minimal or no posed photos, look for raw emotion and authentic moments captured in the full albums! Typically wedding photographers will favor one of these styles over the other, but include at least a little of both in your wedding photos.
The price you pay is not just for your wedding day. Photographers spend a lot of time on their clients. They dedicate time prior to the wedding to study your personalities, timeline, and shot list in order to be fully prepared to capture your day. After the wedding, they pour hours of time and energy into sifting through thousands of photos, finding the very best shots, and editing accordingly. They also invest a lot of money back into maintaining and upgrading their equipment to ensure they are providing the best service possible. Take all of this into consideration when discussing price! Depending on the professional and your wedding day timeline, they will have often spent upwards of 40 hours working on your wedding! Above all else, you are paying for an accurate representation of how the day unfolded so you can reminisce for years to come!
Questions to ask prior to booking a photographer
Pro-tip: Not all of these questions will be necessary in every situation. Some may not be applicable to you and a lot of this may be answered on your photographer’s website or pricing menu. Be sure to carefully select the questions that are relevant to your unique situation to avoid overwhelming yourself and the photographer with too much information!
Package Insight-
Are you available on my date?
Does your package include a second photographer? If I’d like to add a second (or third!) shooter, what is the cost for an additional shooter?
How many hours are included in your package?
What do you charge for additional hours?
Does your wedding package include an engagement session? If not, what is the cost of booking this separately?
How many edited photos can I expect back from my engagement session?
How many edited photos can I expect back from my wedding?
Do you provide “sneak peeks” for either the engagement session and/or the wedding?
If so, how many typically are provided in the “sneak peek” for each?
What is the turnaround time for my “sneak peek” photos?
What is the turnaround time for my full wedding album?
Will I have access to the raw photos?
How do you deliver the photos?
Will the images be accessible online? For how long?
Will the online photo gallery be shareable so I can give my friends and family access?
Are albums or prints included in your package? How many pages or prints are included? Will you be selecting the photos in the album or will we? What is the turnaround time?
If prints and/or albums are not included in your package, do we have the option to order them directly from you at an additional cost? If so, what is the additional cost?
Do you retain any of the rights to the photos?
What do the rights you retain mean for me?
Will you be posting any of our photos on your website and social media?
Will you need our separate permission to submit the photos to any third party publication or will you already have those rights according to the contract?
Do you charge a travel fee? If so, how much and for what distance?
Experience-
How long have you been a professional photographer?
How long have you been a wedding photographer?
How many weddings have you photographed?
How many weddings do you typically have in a single weekend?
Have you worked at my venue before? If not, will you attend a venue walk through to scout out ideal photo locations?
Can we see a few recent full wedding galleries? (Hint: ask to see at least 2-3 full albums and take a really good look through them!)
Style-
How would you describe your photography style?
How do you describe your working style? Are you in the background capturing the events unfolding around you? Are you more active in posing people?
What kind of camera do you use?
How will you and your team dress? (Hint: keep in mind that your photographer will be doing a lot of moving around, so while they should still dress appropriately for a wedding they typically don't dress as formally as the guests.)
Can we request a list of specific shots we would like?
How many photos do you typically capture throughout the course of a wedding day? (Hint: this is different from the amount of pictures returned according to your contract. This is the full amount they will be sifting through to choose which ones to edit. If the photographer gives you access to all of the raw photos, this number will be more relevant to you.)
Do you have experience working at indoor and/or outdoor venues and how do you compensate or play up the lighting?
Logistics-
When will we receive the contract?
How much do you require for a deposit? When is it due?
What is your payment schedule like? (I.e. When is the remaining balance due? Hint: most photographers take payments in 2-3 installments: 1st payment is the deposit, the remainder is due at varying times before the wedding. The exact payment schedule varies from photographer to photographer.)
What is your refund or cancellation policy if I cancel?
What is your refund or cancellation policy if you cancel?
Do you have liability insurance? Does it cover your second shooter and assistant(s), as well?
Do you carry backup equipment?
What is the backup plan if you are unable to personally work my wedding for any reason? Is this written into the contract?
Do you have experience working with a videographer? If so, how do you work with and around each other to ensure everyone is able to capture the important moments in full?
Bonuses-
Do you offer any additional services, like a photo booth or videography?
If you don’t personally offer videography, do you have a videographer you recommend?
Are you available to photograph any pre-wedding events (i.e. bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, engagement party, etc.)? If so, what are the rates for these?
Maximizing your photographer’s services
What to do after booking your wedding photographer
Schedule an engagement session. Engagement sessions are great for a few reasons. First, the photos they generate are great for save the dates, invitations, and your wedding website. Second, the engagement session is the perfect time to get to know your photographer a little bit better. Familiarity is comforting, and you want to be comfortable on your wedding day! Forming a foundational relationship with this professional during an engagement session is a great opportunity to become familiar with each other so you are comfortable spending your wedding day with them! Third, your engagement pictures will give you an idea of how your photographer’s style will translate to you. While the engagement pictures typically have a slightly different feel to them than the wedding photos, this is still the perfect chance to see how your photographer captures you (and make suggestions if necessary)!
Build your wedding day timeline and be sure to schedule adequate time to capture all of your desired shots. Photographers are usually happy to offer feedback on your timeline based on what you are expecting from the photos. If you want a lot of bridal party pictures, extended family pictures, sunset pictures, etc., you will need to allocate plenty of time to make sure you are setting the photographer up for success! If the timeline is tight you may have to cut your desired posed photo list down a bit or shift things to accommodate the desired photo list.
Consider what photos you really want captured, and communicate this with the photographer. It is fairly common for couples to prepare a “shot-list” of desired photos they’d like. While it is nearly impossible to guarantee those exact moments will be captured (guest cooperation, guest availability, timing, etc. will affect the ability for these desired photos to be captured), providing a “shot-list” will certainly make it much more feasible! This list doesn’t have to be long if you aren’t particular about what photos you’d like. Your photographer is a professional and will do an amazing job capturing your day without a guideline. However, if you are passionate about a few (or many!) shots, provide them with a list so they can do everything in their power to capture all of the moments and details you’d like pictures of! Check out our sample shot list in the next section!
Example shot list
Getting Ready
Bride and bridesmaids arriving to getting ready location
Bride's dress and/or robe hanging in a photogenic space
All of the bridesmaids’ dresses hanging together
Bride’s hair and makeup being done (either by the professionals or stage a bridesmaid doing touch ups for the picture)
Bridesmaids’ hair and makeup being done
Bride re-reading vows to herself
Bridesmaid pouring champagne
Bride and bridesmaids toasting
Bride with bridesmaids after hair and makeup is done but before formal attire is put on (in robes or other getting ready attire)
Wedding invitation with bride’s jewelry and bouquet
Mom helping bride with a final detail, (either putting on the veil, zipping up the dress, or putting on a necklace)
Full-length photo of the bride in her dress looking in a mirror
Dress detail shot (i.e. lace, embellishments, buttons, etc.)
Picture(s) of shoes, rings, garter, jewelry, or other small pieces
Emotional moment of bride with significant family members (i.e. siblings, parents, grandparents, step-parents, etc.)
Bride with all the women present for getting ready
Groom getting ready with groomsmen and/or family
Dad or Best Man tying the groom’s tie
Emotional moment of groom with significant family members (i.e. siblings, parents, grandparents, step-parents, etc.)
Groom with all the groomsmen
Groom’s mom putting his boutonniere on
Groomsmen putting on boutonnieres, ties, and jackets
First look or touch picture with bride and groom
Bride with the flower girl
Groom with the ring bearer
The Ceremony
The ceremony space before anyone enters
Guests arriving and finding their seats
The altar before anyone is standing there
Groom waiting to walk down the aisle
Close-up of groom waiting for bride at the altar
Processional pictures of the bridal party, family members, and kiddos walking down the aisle
Wedding party waiting at the altar
Bride and escort before walking down the aisle
Bride and escort walking down the aisle
Groom’s face as he sees the bride at the end of the aisle
Bride and groom at the altar
Altar from the back during ceremony
Wide shot of audience during ceremony, from bride and groom's point of view
Close-ups of the bride and groom while exchanging vows
Close-ups of bride's and groom's hands when they exchange rings
The kiss (Pro-tip: make sure your officiant knows to move to the side so they aren’t in this shot!)
Bride and groom recessing up the aisle, guests' smiling in the background
Group shot with all guests still in seats once bride and groom get to the end of the aisle
Bride and groom outside ceremony site
Celebration shots: the bride and groom hugging, laughing, and crying with good friends and family immediately following the ceremony
Bride, groom, officiant, and witnesses signing the marriage license
Cocktail hour (OR before the ceremony if you are doing a first look and have extra time)
Bride and groom together (Pro-tip: don’t spend too much time at this point on just you two! Save some of these for sunset!)
Bride with her parents and/or stepparents
Bride & groom with the bride’s entire immediate family
Groom with his parents and/or stepparents
Bride and groom with the groom’s entire immediate family
Bride and groom with all parents
Bride and groom with immediate family members from both sides
Bride and groom with groomsmen (serious and playful pictures)
Bride and groom with bridesmaids (serious and playful pictures)
Bride and bridesmaids holding their bouquets together
Bride and groom with whole wedding party (serious and playful pictures)
Guests enjoying amenities at cocktail hour (i.e. appetizers, drinks, games, etc.)
Bride’s and groom’s rings together
The Reception
Shot from outside reception venue
Empty reception room once all details are finished before guests enter
Reception design details such as welcome sign, place cards, seating chart, guest book, centerpieces, sweetheart table, decorations, place settings, guests favors, champagne glasses, the bar, buffet being set up
Guests taking their seats
Bride and groom arriving at reception venue
Grand entrance
Bride and groom at the sweetheart table
Parents' table
Guests' tables
Sunset/golden hour pictures with bride and groom (typically start about 15 mins prior to true sunset and lasts 15 minutes after)
Close-up of friends and family making toasts
Bride and groom listening, laughing, and crying during toasts
Bride and groom visiting with the guests while everyone is seated for dinner (table pictures)
Bride and groom's first dance
Parents dancing
Bride and Dad dancing
Groom and Mom dancing
Wedding party dancing
Grandparents dancing
Kids playing and dancing
Vendors making everything perfect behind the scenes
Guests getting it on the dance floor
Cake and/or dessert table
Bride and groom cutting the cake
Bride and groom feeding each other cake
Bouquet toss
Retrieving, tossing, and catching of the garter
Picture with the bouquet and garter catchers
Bride and groom dancing with the guests
Grand exit
Rehearsal Dinner Planning Guide
Rehearsal dinner usually immediately follows the ceremony rehearsal and is typically the final gathering of friends and family prior to the big day. Below is a planning guide to help you manage the who, what, when, where, why, and how of this event. Follow this guide or share it with the event host for a smooth rehearsal dinner planning experience!
Wedding day is right around the corner! A ceremony rehearsal is almost always necessary in order to get the bridal party and family members on the same page about how the ceremony, and the day as a whole, will run. This time is a great opportunity to share the timeline, ceremony details, and other pertinent information that you won’t want to spend time explaining on the actual wedding day.
Rehearsal dinner usually immediately follows the ceremony rehearsal and is typically the final gathering of friends and family prior to the big day. Below is a planning guide to help you manage the who, what, when, where, why, and how of this event. Follow this guide or share it with the event host for a smooth rehearsal dinner planning experience!
What is the purpose of rehearsal dinner?
This event is intended to gather your bridal party and immediate family in an intimate setting before the big day. Oftentimes family or bridal party members travel for your wedding and/or take time away from work or other obligations to attend the rehearsal and celebrate your love. This is an opportunity to show thanks for all that your bridal party and family have done for you!
When should the rehearsal dinner take place?
Rehearsal dinner typically occurs directly following the ceremony rehearsal. This means that it will take place either the night before or a few days prior to your wedding. While it is called “rehearsal dinner” it doesn’t necessarily have to be a dinner. If you host the rehearsal earlier in the day, it can be a rehearsal brunch or lunch. If you want something a little less formal you can have a rehearsal “happy hour” or something similar that implies a gathering that doesn’t necessarily include a full meal.
Pro-tip #1: Know your friends and plan accordingly. If you have a bridal party that likes to drink heavily, host the event two days before your wedding instead of the night before. No one wants a hungover bridal party on their wedding day! If this isn’t an option, limit the alcohol provided to wine and beer only.
Example rehearsal dinner planning timeline-
6 months prior to the wedding-
Create a guest list for the rehearsal dinner
Decide on the general “feel” for your rehearsal dinner (formal, casual, something in between?)
Contact ceremony venue and confirm rehearsal date
Find & book a venue to host the dinner
3 months prior to the wedding-
Consider how you want to invite your guests to rehearsal dinner
Order invitations if necessary
2 months prior to the wedding-
Send out invitations to rehearsal dinner (send these sooner if a lot of guests are traveling so they can book travel arrangements accordingly!)
1 month prior to the wedding-
Find decor for rehearsal dinner
Select attire for rehearsal dinner
1 day(ish) prior to the wedding-
Host ceremony rehearsal
Host rehearsal dinner
Who hosts the rehearsal dinner?
Traditionally the groom’s parents take on this task, but the host can be anyone, and completely depends on your situation. If the groom’s parents aren’t able to host- or if you have two brides-, it can be the bride’s parents, other relatives, or even yourselves! The bridal party doesn’t typically take charge of this event, since the event is intended as a “thank you” for them.
How should I invite people?
As always, there are no set rules. Sending formal invitations by mail is great if you have the time and wiggle room in the budget, but not necessary by any means! Many other wedding blogs and older generations would strongly disagree with me on this, though, so be prepared for a host coming from an older generation to find formal invitations necessary. Since the guest list is typically just those absolutely closest to you, invitations can easily be sent via email, Facebook, or even a quick text!
No matter how you choose to spread word about the party, the invitations do not need to be as formal as the wedding invitations. These invitations also do not need to be a reflection of your wedding design in any way, though they usually do incorporate aspects of your wedding design. You, or the host, can pick whatever aesthetic makes you all happy!
Pro-tip #2: If you and your host disagree on how invitations should be sent, choosing to mail more casual invitations with bright colors and fun fonts can be a good compromise!
Pro-tip #3: Take this one with a grain of salt, but… pick and choose your battles. There will probably be plenty of opinions coming your way about the wedding that you will need to navigate. If the host of this event feels really strongly about the invitations, this may not be the hill to die on.
Who should be invited?
Who you invite depends on the overall feel you are going for. Typically it is just your immediate family and anyone who is walking down the aisle (in other words, any one who needs to attend the ceremony rehearsal).
Here is a general outline of who is typically invited:
Your bridal party AND a guest*
*Not everyone has to have a guest. If they have traveled out of town with a “plus one” to your wedding, that person is usually invited to the rehearsal dinner. If you are good friends with their significant other, that person should be invited. If they are scrolling through Tinder and find someone they’d like to invite... you DEFINITELY don’t need to invite them.
Your immediate families (if your relationship with them allows for this)
If the host has a larger budget and you have a large wedding guest list (usually applicable if 250+), occasionally extended family who traveled from out of town will be invited too. If you invite your out of town extended family, most people will include their in town relatives as well.
What information should the invitations include?
As always, names, date, location, and time will need to be included on the invitation. The host should also specify what kind of refreshments can be expected (appetizers only, full dinner, hosted bar, BYOB, no alcohol, etc.) Be sure to include the time and location of the actual ceremony rehearsal, too!
The rehearsal dinner host may also want to include their name and that is totally fine! People will often word the invites “The parents/aunt/cousin/friend/etc. of X invite you to the wedding rehearsal of their daughter/son/other to [Fiance name here] [list time and location]. Dinner to follow [list time and location].”
Information at a glance:
Bride(s) & Groom(s) names
Date
Ceremony rehearsal time
Ceremony rehearsal location
“Dinner to follow at……”
Rehearsal dinner time
Rehearsal dinner location
Who should pay for the rehearsal dinner?
The cost of the rehearsal dinner typically will fall on the host. This varies on a case by case basis depending on financial situations. Some hosts may ask you to pay for a portion of the rehearsal dinner. If you cannot afford to fund any portion of the party, let the host know, and suggest a more casual or smaller rehearsal dinner to accommodate their budget! Much like the actual wedding, budget isn’t what defines the day. The most important aspect is celebrating your love while surrounded by the people who mean the most to you and your fiance! (See the end of blog for full example budget breakdowns.)
Where should the rehearsal dinner be hosted?
The rehearsal dinner can be hosted in any location, it will just depend on the size of the guest list, access to space, and budget. While the event can be as formal or informal as the host would like, they are usually hosted at a restaurant near the wedding venue. Choosing a private room in a restaurant can often be less expensive since so much will be included (i.e. in house catering, tables, chairs, flatware, plates, napkins, drinkware, bar, centerpieces, etc.) If a restaurant is not in the budget, a casual backyard get together is not out of the norm!
Pro-tip #4: Since the ceremony rehearsal usually takes place at the ceremony venue, it is most convenient for guests if rehearsal dinner is held at a restaurant or other location nearby.
What should we do at the rehearsal dinner?
Eat, drink, and socialize! The rehearsal is a great opportunity to distribute gifts to the bridal party and family. It is also the perfect time to allow bridal party members who will not be giving toasts at the wedding to give a quick speech!
Is a full meal expected at the rehearsal dinner?
YES! This does not mean you have to include one, but if you do not plan to serve a full dinner, communicate that with your guests so they can plan accordingly.
Rehearsals are typically a nicer meal, but that doesn’t mean yours has to be! A backyard BBQ or quick pizza party is completely acceptable! If the host wants to go all out and provide a full 5 course, sit down dinner, that is fine, too. As long as they are paying for it, and you are comfortable with it, there are no right or wrong answers as to what should be served.
What should be included in the budget?
This completely depends on what the budget allows for and what the host chooses to include! Below are some typical things to consider budgeting for:
Venue
Catering
Tables, chairs, plates, cups, flatware, napkins, etc.
Bar
Cake/dessert
Invitations
Decor
Miscellaneous
Of course there are endless approaches to maximize any budget! Below are 3 example budgets for rehearsal dinners.
Example 1 (the “bells and whistles” example)- overall budget $9k
40 guests, 2.5 hour party
Party Planner- $850
Venue- Nice Restaurant (includes tables, chairs, plates, flatware, cups, and food)- @ $100/person = $4,000
Bar (through venue- beer, wine, & top shelf liquor)- @ $30/person = $1,200
Photographer- $500
Music/entertainment (Live guitarist & singer)- $600
Cake from speciality bakery (2 tier 6” base, 4” top tier)- $450
Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$5/household = $90
Decor- $1,300
1 large balloon display $200
Florist (garland runners for tables & 2 accent pieces)- $1,000
Signage (welcome sign, seating chart, place cards, etc.)- $150
TOTAL: $8,995
Example 2 (the “mid range” example)- overall budget $2k
40 guests, 2.5 hour party
Venue- mid range restaurant (includes tables, chairs, plates, flatware, cups, and food)- @ $30/person = $1,200
Bar (through venue- beer & wine only)- @ $15/person = $600
Music/entertainment (restaurant music)- FREE
Dessert provided by restaurant, included in per person cost- NO EXTRA FEE
Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$2/household = $60
Decor- $65
DIY Trader Joe’s flowers 4 bushels @ $5/each- $20
Dollar tree vases, 5 @ $1/each = $5
Signage (enlarged poster of engagement pic, printed at Costco)- $40
TOTAL: $1,922
Example 3 (the “ballin’ on a budget” example)- overall budget $350
40 guests, 2.5 hour party
Venue (backyard) - FREE
Catering (pizza party! 10 pizzas @ $13/each + tip)- $150
Tables & chairs (use friend’s folding tables & chairs, buy dollar tree table covers)- $10
Plates, plasticware, and drinkware (use disposable- comes with pizza)- FREE
Bar (6 cases of beer @$15/each)- $90
Music (make playlist and set up your own speaker)- FREE
Cake/dessert (single tier, local grocer)- $35
Invitations (Send out email or create Facebook event)- FREE
Decor- $50
DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 5 bushels @ $5/bushel = $25
Dollar store vases 1 per table @$1/each = $8
Candles & dollar tree candle votives (2 per table)- $2/each = $16
TOTAL: $335
As you can see, the third example can easily decrease in price by only offering BYOB, cutting out all decor, skipping dessert and/or ordering cheaper pizza. Basically this is all to say, no budget is too small!
32 Questions to Ask A wedding Coordinator & Everything Else to Know Before Booking
When selecting a wedding coordinator is it important to find a professional who is willing to take the time to fully understand your vision in order to perfectly execute your plan! If you can find someone who is up for the task, you will walk into your wedding venue and see the beautiful plans you made in your head laid out perfectly before you!
In order to gauge if a professional has the ability to accomplish this, there are several questions that can be asked prior to booking to effectively vet the professional you are interested in.
Planning a wedding takes time, vision, and a lot of determination. When the day comes, all of the effort is worth it when you finally see everything you have worked and dreamed so hard for, come together. On the wedding day there are so many moving pieces that need to be managed, but you will be busy getting married and having fun! A wedding coordinator will take care of all the behind the scenes details to make sure everything is going according to plan.
When selecting a wedding coordinator it is important to find a professional who is willing to take the time to fully understand your vision in order to perfectly execute your plan! If you can find someone who is up for the task, you will walk into your wedding venue and see all of those pieces have fallen into place.
In order to gauge if a professional has the ability to accomplish this, there are several questions that can be asked prior to booking to effectively vet the professional you are interested in. Please note- a lot of these questions may be answered on the professional’s website. Asking too many questions may land you with an overwhelming amount of information! Be sure to ask the necessary questions so you are able to gather important information that will help guide your decision!
*Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no cost to you.*
What’s the difference between a wedding coordinator & a wedding planner?
A wedding planner lives up to their name! They plan your wedding, either for you or along side you depending on the professional and the level of support you require/prefer. They are there for everything: design, budgeting, pacing planning, vendor research & selection, and, of course, they’re there to ensure your wedding reflects YOU! Wedding planners are typically booked early on in the wedding planning process OR if a couple has begun planning but find they need support to complete the wedding plan.
A wedding coordinator is present on your wedding day to ensure all of the wedding plans come together. A wedding coordinator is perfect for couples who have found their venue & all of their vendors, thought through the logistics and simply need someone to step in on the actual wedding day to run the show so the couple and their loved ones can focus on celebrating and having fun instead of working. Their primary goal is to function as the point person to field all questions and oversee the execution of the day while acting as the liaison between the plan, the vendors, and you. Usually a day-of coordinator is booked anytime from 1-18 months prior to a wedding and begins working closely with a couple 1-4 weeks prior to their wedding to ensure the day runs smoothly and according to the couple’s vision.
Services included in a wedding coordination package-
Standard-
Timeline creation
A venue walkthrough prior to the wedding (especially if they are unfamiliar with the venue)
Collecting all vendor information from you
Distributing the timeline, floor plan, & other pertinent information to vendors 1-4 weeks prior to your wedding
Collecting copies of insurance (and other documents required by a venue) from vendors & passing this information along to the venue
Serving as the “team captain” of all the vendors on the day of the wedding to ensure everyone arrives on time, sets up where they are supposed to, follows any house rules provided by a wedding venue, and acting as the liaison between the couple and vendors to follow the timeline
Fielding any hiccups that may occur and making decisions to problem solve
Common, but not necessarily expected-
Floor plan creation (typically the venue or client is responsible for this with a day-of coordination package)
Providing an emergency bridal kit with a variety of items that commonly prove to be necessary at weddings
Attending meetings with you and the vendors
Communicating with vendors on your behalf regarding specific details pertaining to your wedding
Provide a specialized timeline for the wedding party and family members
Ceremony rehearsal coordination
Providing decor items
Decor set-up & breakdown (minimal decor set-up is often included, though anything beyond very basic decor set-up crosses over into the territory of a wedding decorator’s services. Wedding coordinators and wedding decorators are not the same job!)
Not common, but definitely an asset if included-
Assessing & offering feedback on vendor contracts
Collecting information regarding your balances with vendors, payment date with vendors, preferred payment method of vendors, vendor meal requirements, etc. to pass along to you and/or the venue
Reviewing order lists with rental companies, florists, caterers, etc. to ensure everything your event requires is accounted for
Discussing details to ensure you’ve got everything for the day-of covered even outside of ceremony & reception prep, execution, & clean-up
Full decor set-up and break down (including items exceeding 50lbs in weight & items requiring a ladder to install)
Extensive & specific decor creation or inclusion (i.e. sign creation, menu & placard creation, large rentals including tables, chairs, etc., decor extending beyond table numbers & candle votives, etc.)
Questions to ask a wedding coordinator before booking-
The basics-
Are you available on my date?
How much do your services cost?
What services do you offer, what are the differences between your packages, and what package will be the best fit for my needs?
Are there any additional fees?
Experience & expectations-
How long have you been a wedding coordinator?
How long have you been a wedding coordinator in my area?
How many weddings do you take on in a single weekend?
Will you personally be at my event?
What would you say your wedding coordinating “style” is?
Can you tell me about a wedding that you coordinated that you are particularly proud of?
What is your experience with problem solving?
Can you give me an example of something that went wrong at a wedding and how you handled it?
If we run into any issues throughout the planning process, what level of advocacy can we expect from since we are booking a day of coordination package?
How much access will I have to you throughout the planning period?
After I book, what are the next steps to working together?
When will we begin working together regularly?
Package questions-
With the day of coordination package, do you offer any support prior to the wedding day?
Will you collect, organize, and distribute important information such as vendor insurance info, vendor balances & due dates, vendor meal requirements, etc?
Will you attend venue walk throughs, vendor meetings, etc. throughout the wedding planning?
Will you create a day of timeline?
Will you provide the other vendors with this timeline? If so, when will this timeline be created and sent to the other vendors?
Will you create a timeline to provide to the family and bridal party? If so, when will this be created and distributed?
How many assistants will be present on my wedding day?
Do you include decor set up and breakdown in your package? Are there any limitations to this?
Will you help manage vendors on the day-of including arrival, set-up, timeline management, and breakdown times?
How much communication do you typically have with the other vendors leading up to the wedding date?
Will you take care of payment for outstanding balances on the wedding day? How does this process typically look when working with you?
Do you provide an emergency bridal kit in case something unexpected arises?
What kind of items are in the emergency bridal kit?
Will the provide additional resources that may be beneficial to you throughout your planning process?
The logistics-
Do you have insurance to provide to a venue if necessary?
Do you require a vendor meal(s)?
If we have any issues with vendors following the wedding are you able to advocate for us as a day of coordinator?
Do you have any references?
Things to consider when looking for a wedding coordinator-
You more or less get what you pay for- If someone quotes you $500 for the same package that someone else is quoting at $2k, there is likely a large difference in experience. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the quality of work will be significantly different, but it is a very strong possibility.
Day-of coordination should really include month-of coordination- Your day of coordinator will need to begin working with you closely in the weeks immediately preceding your wedding to properly coordinate with vendors and manage the day successfully. They will need to create your timeline (or at least have the opportunity to review it), connect with vendors about arrival times and accurate contact information, discuss design detail with you, review order lists from other vendors, etc. There are a lot of small moving pieces, even with the simplest of weddings! Make sure that the coordinator you are looking into is willing to do the appropriate amount of leg work leading up to your wedding to do the best job possible!
Some day-of coordinators are strictly day-of only- It can be challenging to jump in essentially blind on the wedding day with nothing but a timeline and vendor contact list provided by the client, however a very small number of coordinators do this. They are typically a lower cost and don’t provide the same level of execution that someone who spends time getting acquainted with the plan prior to the wedding. These coordinators are hard to find, because it truly is not a method that will consistently set the professional up for success. The professionals who offer this kind of service are typically either inexperienced and/or offer a very “bare-bones” approach to their day of coordination packages. If you feel that your wedding is extremely straightforward and are looking for a day-of service only, be very careful selecting a coordinator who says they will take this approach! Even if you feel this is what you need, there is a reason it is a rare form of service to find!
Not every package will include the same amount of support- As extension to the last point, coordinators have a very wide range of what will be included in their packages. Some wedding coordinators will do all of your decor set up and break down. Some will only communicate and coordinate with vendors and nothing more. A lot of wedding coordinators will do something in between. Make sure that you are realistically considering what kind of service you will need before booking!
Things to do after booking your wedding coordinator-
Discuss what information they will require and when they need to receive this information. Wedding coordinators will typically need all of your vendor contact information, vendor contracts, “house rules” or venue protocols, a floor plan (unless they include the creation of this in their package), order forms from rentals, florals, caterers, etc., a list of decor you are personally providing, the ceremony information (i.e. walking order for the processional, seating plan for immediate family/VIPs, etc.), and a timeline (unless they include creation of one in their package). Depending on the specific coordinator you have booked, they may require more information.
Discuss what kind of questions you can come to them with throughout your planning process. Typically day-of coordinators are only readily available for support about a month or so prior to your wedding. Certain coordinators (myself included) make themselves available to answer questions regarding general vendor recommendations, reviewing vendor contracts, and discussing any variety of factors that may alter or shift your timeline.
Ask how often you can expect them to touch base. Day-of coordinators typically will reach out roughly a month prior to your wedding, but depending on the specific coordinator and how far in advance you’ve booked they may reach out intermittently to check in.
Move forward accordingly! Be mindful of the services included in your coordinator’s package and respectful of your coordinator’s time. Most coordinators offer full wedding planning or partial wedding planning packages. This makes them a great resource and a wealth of information, but also can present the opportunity for clients to surpass “coordination” questions and begin dabbling in “planning” questions/requests. If the coordinator has made themselves available to answer questions or offer support, then fabulous! Ask away! Keep in mind, they are going above and beyond the official role of coordinator because they care about YOU and YOUR wedding! If the coordinator feels the questions and level of support being asked of them is beyond what is included in the package you have booked, they may require you to increase the package to partial or full planning package, or simply tell you they are unable to provide the level of support you are requesting given the package you have booked. This is not a bad thing! If you require more support, ask to increase your package with them so that you can feel supported throughout the wedding planning process and confident in the plans you are making.