Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

All Things Wedding Officiant

A wedding ceremony is, in many ways, the single most important piece to a wedding. This is what brings all of your friends and family together to celebrate! When you become engaged you are agreeing to make a commitment through a marriage ceremony. Agreeing to make this ceremonial commitment is the catalyst that inspires all of the additional pretty, fun, and functional aspects to your wedding day. It is important to find an officiant that will preform a ceremony that aligns with your vision, values, and beliefs. Since the officiant will lead your wedding ceremony, and is typically in charge of writing the ceremony, this person will play a pivotal role in getting your marriage started on the right foot. Follow this guide to feel confident in the person you select to officiate your wedding!

This guide is divided into 3 sections:

  1. Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding officiant

  2. Questions to ask an officiant prior to booking

  3. Ways to maximize your officiant’s services

A wedding ceremony is, in many ways, the single most important piece to a wedding. This is what brings all of your friends and family together to celebrate! When you become engaged you are agreeing to make a commitment through a marriage ceremony.  Agreeing to make this ceremonial commitment is the catalyst that inspires all of the additional pretty, fun, and functional aspects to your wedding day.  It is important to find an officiant that will preform a ceremony that aligns with your vision, values, and beliefs. Since the officiant will lead your wedding ceremony, and is typically in charge of writing the ceremony, this person will play a pivotal role in getting your marriage started on the right foot. Follow this guide to feel confident in the person you select to officiate your wedding!

This guide is divided into 3 sections:

  1. Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding officiant

  2. Questions to ask an officiant prior to booking

  3. Ways to maximize your officiant’s services

Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding officiant

  1. Officiants are called many things. A wedding officiant is any legally certified person delivering a wedding ceremony. This can be a religious leader, non-denominational ordained professional, or an ordained friend. Some of the most common names for officiants are:

    1. Officiant

    2. Celebrant

    3. Justice of the Peace

    4. Any religious leader (i.e. Priest, Rabbi, Preacher, Pastor, Swami, Minister, etc.)

  2. Any person can officiate your wedding, but they must be ordained in order to legally marry you. Whoever is delivering your wedding ceremony must be ordained prior to your wedding ceremony, in order for your marriage to be legal. Becoming ordained online is easy and FREE! This is awesome news if you want a friend or family member to officiate your wedding! It is also a great reason to properly vet any person claiming to be a professional. Since it is so simple to obtain certification to legally perform marriages, essentially anyone can provide this service. Be sure to read reviews, gather samples of their work, have a clear understanding of the exact services they will provide, and ensure your personalities mesh well before hiring a professional wedding officiant.

  3. Certain places of worship will require you to use their religious leader. If you find a chapel other than your usual place of worship, you may have to use their in-house worship leader to perform your ceremony. This is typically only an issue if you are hosting your wedding out of town and wish to fly your own religious leader in for your wedding. Confirm with your chapel prior to booking that this is okay! If you intend to be married at a place of worship, confirm with them their policies on outside vendors, prior to booking your officiant to avoid potentially loosing a deposit.

  4. Certain religious leaders require both parties involved in the marriage be officially baptized (or the equivalent) into their faith. Most couples who come across this issue are already aware of this prior to becoming engaged. A couple important things to note on this topic:

    1. Just because some or most religious leaders of a certain faith require this, doesn’t mean that all leaders in your faith will. Finding someone who will do this may prove a challenge for certain religions, but they are out there!

    2. (Take or leave this point as you see fit…) If your fiance is uncomfortable changing religions, it isn’t a great idea to pressure them into switching. You are agreeing to marry this person because you love them for who they already are (and vice versa!). Their religious beliefs (or lack thereof) are a huge piece of who they are- so to change this, is to change them. If this proves to be a huge hinderance on wedding planning, seek the professional guidance of a marriage counselor whose services are rooted in any faith (especially neither of your own) for some unbiased support as you navigate this delicate territory.

    3. Sometimes neither of the engaged parties will really care about each other’s religious beliefs, but family members will. The best advice on this is to make your family feel heard by addressing their reasoning for wanting you to have certain religious aspects incorporated into your wedding, but ultimately remember and remind them that it is YOUR wedding and YOUR commitment, NOT your family’s. For more advice on this incredibly touchy subject, reference the “Managing Outside Opinions Surrounding Your Wedding” guide.

  5. Certain religious leaders require you to take premarital counseling or classes with them prior to your wedding. Premarital counseling or classes are not a bad thing! They provide the opportunity to gauge how “on the same page” you and your fiance are by encouraging you to discuss your visions and plans for some of life’s common and major milestones prior to making a major commitment. However, you may not find counseling or classes necessary in your unique situation and these services almost always cost additional money. Check with your potential officiant for their policies and rates for these services. If your officiant doesn’t require premarital counseling or classes, you may still want to consider doing this! There are plenty of professionals out there offering premarital counseling completely separate from officiating services.

  6. Most wedding ceremonies are customized by the officiant based on the couple they are intended for. The officiant will write your wedding ceremony. Many couples, especially those opting out of full religious ceremonies, will choose to write their own wedding vows. Aside from the vows, the officiant will plan the rest of the speaking. They usually include a little background on themselves, why they were chosen to officiate (i.e. “I’ve been a close friend…,” “I have been X’s Rabbi since they were little…” etc.), an anecdote about the couple, and some words of wisdom to the couple. Make sure you find someone who is going to write a beautiful ceremony that will put you and your guests in the right mindset for commitment!

  7. You will likely watch the video of your ceremony many times throughout your life, make sure you find an officiant you want to hear over, and over again! Aside from the ceremony itself, make sure that you like your officiant's voice, speaking style, level of formality, and ceremony delivery style. You can do this by requesting sample videos from previous ceremonies! If you choose to have a friend or family member officiate, they don’t necessarily need to write the ceremony in its entirety. However, you probably won’t want to hear the whole ceremony prior to the wedding (the element of surprise in the moment makes the ceremony fun and extra special!). You can get around this by writing a decent portion of the ceremony, but leaving a section in the beginning blank for them to prepare something special. Alternatively, you can let them know specific things you’d like included (or left out!) to help guide their ceremony creation process. For example, if you love a particular quote or want special readings done you can ask them to include these in the ceremony.

  8. If you choose a friend or family member to officiate, choose wisely! Choosing a significant person in your life to lead your wedding ceremony is a great way to add a level of personalization to your wedding. This is also a great way to save money, since becoming ordained online is free! If you are exploring the possibility of asking a friend or family member to officiant your wedding, there are a few key characteristics to consider before signing them up.

    1. Find a person that is close, but ideally not too close to either party being married. Being extremely close to one of the parties shouldn’t necessarily count out an individual as a possible officiant, but it does open the door for the person getting a little too emotional. A little emotion is great! It makes the ceremony that much more special! However, if you, your fiance, AND your officiant are all heavily crying throughout the ceremony you may need to take a lot of breaks and the ceremony may last longer than you anticipated. Alternatively, if you and your fiance aren’t big criers, having a blubbering officiant may seem out of place and alter the vibe you wanted for your ceremony. That being said, if a family member or very close friend is perfect in every other way and you’re confident they will have a very appropriate control over their emotions, they might just be the ideal person to lead your ceremony. In contrast, a person too emotionally distant from the couple may not take the role as seriously, may be unable to write a heartfelt and/or meaningful ceremony, and may not be in your lives down the road. A person in the sweet-spot will be close enough to be a constant presence throughout your lives, know enough to create a thoughtful and genuine ceremony, and be removed enough to keep the crying to a minimum.

    2. Are they a good public speaker? Think through how confident this person will be speaking in front of a crowd. Even if they are usually an outgoing and gregarious person, this won’t necessarily translate to public speaking. Does their job require them to speak publicly or give presentations? Do they have any experience speaking into a microphone? A few factors that will play into the overall success as a public speaker are experience, confidence, natural speaking volume, and meeting the perfect sweet spot in closeness to you.

    3. Will they respect the significance of the ceremony? Including a few jokes and taking a playful approach to delivering your wedding ceremony is totally fine, if that is what you want! However, there is a difference between keeping things light-hearted and playful vs. turning your wedding ceremony into a complete joke. You want to feel like you just made a meaningful commitment to one another at the end of your ceremony, not like you just were the butt of a joke.

    4. You want an officiant, not a character. This is an extension of the last point, but it is worth diving further into detail. Confidence and cockiness are two different things. When selecting an officiant, be hyperaware of the difference. If the person you are considering always seems to be “on” when around people, they are likely not the best person to officiate your wedding. Your wedding ceremony shouldn’t be an opportunity for your officiant to put on a show for the guests. If this person tends to be a “class clown” type, commands all of the attention when they walk into any room, or has an air of self-importance, you run the risk of them making your special moment about them, instead of about your love and commitment. Again, putting their own flavor, personality, and a level of playfulness into the ceremony is great! Taking advantage of a seated crowd and microphone access to practice their latest standup, is not so great.

    5. How likely is this person to adequately prepare for our wedding ceremony? If you have an individual in mind who is a great public speaker and will be respectful to the significance of the day, in theory they will adequately prepare. They will write a thoughtful and beautiful ceremony that matches your personalities and practice enough to deliver the ceremony like a true friend and professional! However, if you are considering someone with a notorious track record of procrastination, maybe keep searching.

    6. Make sure they are up for the task. Let them know what the job entails in-full, upfront before allowing them to commit. If you sense any hesitation, don’t pressure them! This is a big favor you are asking of someone, so if they don’t want to do it or they are worried about their ability to perform let them off the hook! Whenever you ask make sure they know they don’t have to officiate, but that you thought they would be a great and meaningful person for the job!

Questions to ask an officiant prior to booking

The basics-

  1. Are you legally certified to marry people in my state? Through which institution did you receive your certificate?

  2. Are you available on my date?

  3. Can you work within my budget?

  4. Do you require a deposit? How much?

  5. When is the balance due?

  6. What is your preferred method of payment?

  7. What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?

  8. What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?

  9. What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?

  10. What is the backup plan if you are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?

  11. Are there any additional fees such as travel fees, delivery fees, etc. that are not included in the package price?

  12. Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your staff and property?

Experience & style information-

  1. How long have you been officiating weddings?

  2. How many weddings do you typically officiate a weekend?

  3. How many weddings do you typically officiate a year?

  4. How do you identify religiously?

  5. If you identify with a certain religion, how much of that religion is incorporated into the ceremonies you deliver? (Hint: Some non-denominational religious officiants will still incorporate mentions of God or prayers into the wedding ceremony. If this is something you’d like to minimize or avoid completely make sure they are willing to comply with this request!) 

  6. If you don’t identify with any religion, can we still request a few mentions of God in our ceremony? (Hint: Some couples wishing to minimize mention of God, still want one or two references. If you find a non-religious officiant make sure that they are comfortable and willing to make this accommodation!)

The ceremony details-

  1. Do you have a set ceremony script or will you customize our ceremony for us?

  2. How do you create and customize our ceremony?

  3. Are we allowed to have input in certain aspects of our ceremony? If so, how much input and on what aspects are we allowed to offer our opinions? (Hint: If you want any readings done by the officiant or a wedding guest, special ceremonies such as sand ceremony, glass ceremony, cord ceremony, etc., songs sung by friends or family, etc., be sure to confirm that the officiant is comfortable and willing to allow these things to happen!)

  4. Can we write our own vows? Can you help us with this? If we decide we need support with our vows, how will you offer guidance?

  5. How long do your ceremonies typically last? Can we shorten or extend this time if we were picturing something a little different?

  6. When will you arrive on our wedding day?

  7. What will you wear on our wedding day? (Hint: This person will be front and center for the duration of your ceremony, which makes them a focal point for your guests. They will also be in a lot of your ceremony pictures, so make sure their attire is something professional that won’t distract from you and your fiance!)

Pre-wedding access & requirements-

  1. How many times will we meet before our wedding?

  2. Will you attend our ceremony rehearsal?

  3. Will you lead our ceremony rehearsal? (Hint: Oftentimes religious leaders of certain faiths prefer or require they lead ceremony rehearsals without any assistance from wedding coordinators or planners. If running the rehearsal is not included in your officiant’s services, your wedding planner or day-of coordinator will typically lead the ceremony rehearsal.)

  4. Do you offer or require premarital counseling? Is there an additional fee for this service?

Ways to maximize your officiant’s services

  1. Communicate your vision for the ceremony clearly. Whether you want long, short, deeply religious, no mention of religion, etc. let your officiant know! Be clear about your expectations so they can make adjustments accordingly.

  2. Meet with your officiant and tell them a little about yourselves! In order for a ceremony to be personal, the officiant needs the opportunity to get to know you and your fiance. When you meet with your officiant, give them some details about how you met, some important chapters in your relationship’s history, and a good idea of who you are as individuals and a couple.

  3. Do some research on your own into wedding ceremonies. Not only will this help you find things you want to incorporate into your own ceremony, but it will also give you an idea of things you don’t want included in your ceremony. Even if you don’t find anything you’d like included verbatim, you may find general ideas or even smaller ceremonies (i.e. sand ceremony, cord ceremony, glass ceremony, etc.) to incorporate into your overall ceremony. 

  4. Write your vows and share them with your officiant. Some officiants will offer feedback on your wedding vows. If they do, take advantage of this service! Make sure your words are coherent and cohesive to a third party and will fit into the time you have chosen to allot for your overall ceremony. 

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

Wedding Design Building Guide

Wedding design is a world of endless possibilities. The best part, there are no right or wrong answers! There are, however, some steps to getting started on your wedding design and guidelines to refer to throughout the planning process that will make developing and implementing your design simpler and fun. Follow the guide below for a smooth wedding design building process.

This blog is divided into 11 sections:

  1. Where to start with wedding design

  2. How to select a color scheme

  3. What comes first, the venue or the design?

  4. Furniture and design consistency

  5. Where to find decor

  6. How to select decor

  7. Utilizing lighting to accentuate your design

  8. Utilizing florals to accentuate your design

  9. You, your fiance, your bridal party, the guests & your design

  10. How to budget for wedding design

  11. Tying it altogether

Wedding design is a world of endless possibilities! You have an opportunity to create a fully custom event that perfectly reflects you and your fiance’s personalities. The best part is there are no right or wrong answers! There are, however, some steps to getting started on your wedding design and guidelines to refer to throughout the planning process that will make developing and implementing your design simpler and fun. Follow the guide below for a smooth wedding design building process. 

This blog is divided into 11 sections:

  1. Where to start with wedding design

  2. How to select a color scheme

  3. What comes first, the venue or the design?

  4. Furniture and design consistency

  5. Where to find decor

  6. How to select decor

  7. Utilizing lighting to accentuate your design

  8. Utilizing florals to accentuate your design

  9. You, your fiance, your bridal party, the guests & your design

  10. How to budget for wedding design

  11. Tying it altogether

Where to start with wedding design-

Budget- The absolute first step will be settling on an overall wedding budget and deciding how many guests you will invite (more info on budgeting specifically for decor in the second to last section of this article). While neither of these two factors are inherently design oriented, they are the building blocks to wedding planning and will help guide the design process! As you work through the next steps, keeping your budget and guest count in mind will help manage your expectations and ultimately narrow down exactly what design elements are financially attainable to achieve your desired aesthetic. Click here for guidance on building your wedding budget!

YOU- After your budget is decided, start building your wedding design by turning to yourself for ideas. Your own mind is already chalk full of your likes, dislikes, interests, etc. Although your wedding style can vary significantly from design choices you make in other areas of your life, your vision should start with you (and your fiance, of course)! Thinking through what kind of colors, textures, and styles you are already drawn to will help you shape and maintain your vision as you move through the design process.

The Internet- Next, turn to the internet for some guidance! Pinterest has had a massive impact on the wedding industry, especially when it comes to design. Since Pinterest first launched, we have seen wedding styles become increasingly more diverse and creative. In addition to Pinterest, Instagram and wedding blogs offer loads of inspiration! Find a few pages that you like and keep up with their latest information and ideas. It is easy to get lost in the rabbit hole of Pinterest and Instagram and the further in you go, you may find that your vision is shifting from what you initially thought you wanted. That is okay! Save the inspiration pictures you love along the way and then look at them all together. Find what works, doesn’t work, or simply needs to be adjusted to fit into your evolving vision.

Consult a Professional- Finally, consult with a professional. A professional wedding planner or wedding designer can help develop your vision. If you have a few loose ideas they can help you fill the gaps and tie everything together. If you have no idea of what you’d like, they can gather some general information about you and your fiance in order to build your perfect wedding that you couldn’t quite envision in your mind. If you have a very specific vision, these professionals will be able to take your wants and needs and turn them into reality!

Pro-tip #1: Be aware as you search the internet that a lot of the beautiful designs you come across will come at a price. This may seem obvious, but Pinterest has a way of captioning very beautiful things in ways that make them seem very attainable budget-wise. Just take the ideas with a grain of salt until you do your own research to decide if it will work with your budget.

Pro-tip #2: Often Pinterest will depict DIY projects with incredible results. It is totally possible to break out the hot glue and create some amazing decorations for your wedding! Know your strengths and proceed accordingly. Budgets are easily blown on failed DIY attempts. If you want to try a project, try a smaller project using similar materials to gauge how the bigger project will go! When in doubt, look up a video tutorial!

Pro-tip #3: Keep your Pinterest boards organized! Instead of having one large “our wedding” board, divide the board into sections. Having a designated space for each design element is convenient, not only for yourself, but also for the vendors you will share these boards with. A lot of planners, designers, hair stylists, makeup artists, florists, bridal boutiques, etc. will ask to see your inspiration to understand your vision. Providing a streamlined and up-to-date vision board is a must!

How to select a color scheme-

How many colors?- Typically selecting between three to five colors total for your wedding is suggested. Anything less can be understated or non cohesive, anything over has the potential to become busy or non cohesive. There are, of course, a million and one exceptions to this, but having this range in mind is helpful when starting your color selection process! Ideally you will have two main colors and two to three accent colors. The main colors don’t necessarily need to go together on their own, because the accent colors will bridge the gap between them. Stick to one consistent factor among your colors (tone, hue, base color, etc.) your end result will be lovely!

Season- Season is a great place to start when considering colors for your wedding. If you are hosting a fall wedding deep reds, burnt oranges, and mustard yellows will be your friend! For a winter wedding, deep forest green, red, white, and even charcoal work beautifully! If your wedding is in spring softer colors like blush pink, denim blue, and champagne gold are perfect! For a summer wedding bright colors are perfect! 

Pro-tip #4: Seasonal colors are a great guide for more than just being fashion forward. The seasonal colors are common in the flowers and decor available during that time. By choosing “in season” colors, your corresponding flower options will be less expensive and your decor options will be more readily available.

Venue- It is also beneficial to consider what colors will work with the venue you have chosen. If it is an outdoor venue, the season will impact what colors are naturally occuring and therefore alter your overall aesthetic. An indoor venue will have existing design elements such as carpeting, wall colors, furniture, or even specific styles of lighting fixtures that are worth considering.

Mood- Colors also help to set the mood for your wedding, so talk with your fiance about what message you want to send to guests. If you want something more traditionally romantic, lighter pastels will help convey this. For a more dramatic and passionate vibe, deeper darker tones will help create this atmosphere. No matter your desired mood, there are some great color options to help set the tone.

NO RULES… except one- While all of this is great in guiding color choice, you certainly don’t need to base your color choice on any of it. If you are choosing to theme your wedding (more on themes in the next section) pick colors that are prominent and relevant to your theme. If you have a favorite color use it and choose accent colors that will accentuate it. If you have a favorite flower, choosing the colors based on this flower will work! If you just really love typical “winter” colors, but are having a summer wedding, GO FOR IT! The only real rule of thumb is finding some kind of common factor to create a sense of cohesion for an aesthetically pleasing wedding.

Pro-tip #5: When in doubt, head to the paint aisle of a local store and check out some splotches! If you want to play around with colors and see how they work together, the paint strips at hardware stores are a great place to try different combinations out!

To theme or not to theme-

Inherit themes- Weddings have a way of inherently developing a broad “theme” as the design vision starts to take shape. Some of the more common themes are rustic, boho, minimalist, modern, and traditional/romantic. Oftentimes these inherit themes will coexist with one another. The key is keeping the design elements cohesive as you blend these themes. You don’t have to necessarily title your theme, but it can help you when it comes time to select decor and describe your overall aesthetic to vendors. For example, as you look back over your developing vision board you may notice that you are drawn to romantic, whimsical, boho designs. Congrats! That is now your “theme.”

Full-on niche themes- Some weddings have very specific niche themes that will shape the design vision. Themes can be anything! For example, beachy, Disney, Jurassic Park, Halloween, Star Wars, baseball… the options are endless! When a theme like this is chosen it is usually meaningful to the couple. If you love a theme, but your fiance isn’t quite on board, you can always use this theme for your engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party, or even rehearsal dinner instead!

Subtle themes- Not all specific themes have to dictate the entire wedding design! If you love Jurassic Park, you don’t have to fully commit. Instead of going all in to the point the groomsmen are in inflatable dinosaur costumes, consider just having a dinosaur cake topper, perhaps a few dinosaurs on signs, and maybe order more lush, prehistoric feeling fauna from your florist! A common trend for book lovers is using stacks of books for the centerpieces. Disney lovers often will include a Mickey Mouse charm on the bride’s bouquet and a few quotes from Disney movies displayed. If you don’t want to have a full on themed wedding, a simple nod to your passion is more than enough to convey the message.

What comes first, the venue or the design?

This will depend on you and your unique situation. Some people will quickly develop an overall desired aesthetic for their wedding and search for venues that will accentuate their intended design. Others will choose to let the budget determine their venue and plan the design around the venue they select. There are no wrong approaches, but there are advantages to thinking through what aspects you value the most and then using those to guide the planning process.

Either way, it is beneficial to think through at least some general design ideas before venue shopping. If budget is going to be the absolute determining factor on the venue, keep your vision flexible! Even if money is no object, you may find a venue that steals your heart, but requires a shift in your design vision! Until your venue is booked, have a loose design vision but, keep an open mind.

Pro-tip #6: Don’t count out a competitively priced venue just solely based on the existing aesthetic. Draping and lighting can easily be added to any space to completely alter the look!

Furniture and design consistency-

Furniture rentals: Going the rental route is going to give you the most control over achieving the exact look you want. There is no shortage of rental companies out there, which means one way or another you will have access to the exact furniture pieces you envisioned for your wedding. However, these options may be limited based on your budget. 

If the gorgeous furniture you want isn’t financially feasible, a compromise may be finding something at a lower cost that is closer to your vision than what the venue offers, but not exactly your dream furniture. There are plenty of ways to play with the other design elements, to make the furniture cohesive with your vision. If this is still not going to work with your budget, then it is time to get creative!

Getting creative: If you cannot swing replacing the furniture at the venue, then it is time to turn those lemons into lemonade. Take a look at other weddings that have a similar aesthetic to what you are going for. There may be some more inspiration that you overlooked before, because you already had your mind set on a different look. Think of different table cloths, centerpieces, table runners, etc. that would be consistent with the look and feel you want to achieve. When considering table cloths, think about their texture, shine factor, and, of course, color. Table runners have a great way of adding dimension, which can make your tables feel fuller and more high end. 

Transforming the chairs at your venue can be a little tricky, but it is doable! The basic white folding chairs are the easiest to modify. Drape a blanket over the back (this doubles as a guest favor and climate control, too!), add some sort of embellishment to the back, or wrap them completely. It should be noted that all of these options will be the same cost or more expensive than renting chairs! The most cost effective way to work with these chairs is to dress the table up enough that the chairs aren’t even a factor. The white folding chairs blend in easily to any aesthetic, which is why they are so common for venues to have. 

Metal folding chairs and banquet chairs are harder to hide. Banquet chairs can be hidden with chair covers, but this has a very specific formal/traditional feel. You can consider draping something over the back to incorporate them into your design, or you can leave the chairs as is. If you leave the chairs alone, take a very calculated approach to how you decorate the table so that the chairs aren’t even noticed!

Metal folding chairs aren’t common at wedding venues, but if you are ballin’ on a budget, you may just have to work with them. If you can’t beat them, join them! The easiest way to work with folding metal chairs is to play into their industrial look. Incorporating other industrial elements, such as matching metals and clean lines, into the wedding will make the chairs feel more like a purposeful design decision rather than a budget-driven compromise. 

Pro-tip # 7: If your chairs aren’t going to match perfectly with the rest of your aesthetic, making the other design elements full yet consistent will keep the overall look from becoming messy. Consider expanding your color pallet to 5 colors, but don’t surpass 5. Avoid super bright colors and go for either deeper tones or more dusty light tones. Pick a texture or two to incorporate several places throughout the reception space. The best way to work around any chair is to make those tables beautiful and keep the rest of your design very, very consistent and cohesive.

Where to find decor-

Wedding decor can be sourced in a variety of ways and you don’t have to select just one sourcing method. Decor is often rented from rental companies, wedding planners, venues, florists, or wedding decorators. Decor can also be purchased from craft stores, the internet, local boutiques, or any store that carries items that work with your design vision.

Decor can also be handmade! Personal touches are a great way to achieve your desired look and make the decor meaningful. If you aren’t personally crafty, find someone who is! There are plenty of professionals and hobbyists who are willing and able to custom make the decor of your dreams!


Pro-tip #8: Be sure to check out Facebook Marketplace, thrift stores, garage sales, etc. for gently used wedding decor. Millions of couples are married every year and purchase decor that will only be used once. You can find essentially brand new items at a fraction of the cost by being creative with where you source these materials!

How to select decor-

With so much access to inspiration and physical decor items, committing to just a few ideas can be challenging. Before actually purchasing any decor it is best to run through your budget and decide how much money you will allocate to decor. 

Research accessibility & pricing- Once you decide on an overall amount, begin researching the cost of your favorite design ideas. If you can’t find the exact items you are searching for, look into commissioning those pieces! There are plenty of talented professionals out there that can create exactly what you are looking for! If your initial ideas don’t immediately fit into your budget, brainstorm alternatives that would produce the same effect for a lower cost. 

Mentally map it- Mapping out your venue and mentally placing the decor pieces will give you a clear idea of how many pieces you need, what size your displays should be, and how full the space will look. Doing this after running through your budget, but prior to making any decor purchases will provide valuable insight into how your design elements will work together and how your ideal decor will fill out the space. Click here to visit our details blog for support on mapping out these areas!

Collect your items- After you have everything mapped out, begin purchasing, crafting, and/or renting the items you would like. This may take some time to find the exact pieces you want at a price you are comfortable with, so ideally this process should begin at least three-four months prior to your wedding, if not sooner!

Try it out!- This is the exciting part! After collecting your items, clear your dining room table and make mockups of how the centerpieces, accent tables, and other decor you’ve chosen will look. This will give you an idea of how full and cohesive your design is. Once you put everything together, you may decide to leave something out or add additional items to complete the look. If you go the decor rental route, the rental company will typically do this for you, either with you present or send pictures if being physically there to offer feedback isn’t an option. You will create or approve a mock up and they will implement the design on the day of your wedding!

Pro-tip #9: After creating your mock up centerpieces, accent table arrangements, etc. take pictures! Make sure they are clear and include all elements of the design. Whoever is in charge of setting up your decor on the wedding day will be able to recreate the exact look you are going for! Even if you are the one setting up your decor for the actual wedding, the pictures are still incredibly beneficial. You will have a lot of things running through your mind on that day, and you don’t want to stress yourself over trying to remember the design you wanted. 

Pro-tip #10: If you don’t find exactly what you are looking for at a price you are comfortable with immediately, be patient! Check back with stores and second hand websites regularly as these items may become available or their price might drop as you get closer to your date! Don’t wait too long on items you feel particularly passionate about. If there is a decor piece that will make or break your day, commission the project so you are guaranteed to have it!

Utilizing lighting to accentuate your design-

In many ways, lighting is the single most important aspect of your wedding design. Lighting has the ability to make massive statements at a relatively low cost. This isn’t to say lighting is cheap, it is simply cost effective when considering the impact it will on the overall aesthetic. The main lighting categories you’ll need to consider include functional lighting, ambient lighting, dance floor lighting, and lights as decor.

Functional lighting- Guests and vendors will need to be able to see, so functional lighting is a necessity. This does not mean you need aggressively bright fluorescent lights, though! The functional lighting you choose can be beautiful and enhance your overall wedding design. 

Dripping string lights hanging from the ceiling or suspended by strings over the dining area help light up the dinner portion of your evening and translate into photographs beautifully. 

Tivoli market lights have been very popular over the past decade! They are a great way to increase visibility, correspond with a large variety of themes, and look amazing in pictures. They are so popular, in fact, that a lot of venues already have them and include them in their site fee.

Full “light canopies” are a more recent trend that can be accomplished in several ways. They are typically created by using smaller string lights placed closely together hung in a way that mimics a canopy. This look creates a “starry night” effect that works well with any theme! 

Large light up hanging lanterns or globes are also gorgeous and versatile. You can choose to select one size and color or use a variety of lanterns to add depth and dimension. The hanging lanterns are usually paper globes with light bulbs inside, but depending on your venue and desired aesthetic, larger metal lanterns can also be used! The paper globe lanterns are typically used for a more playful, whimsical design. The metal lanterns can be boho, rustic, vintage, or woodsy depending on the specific lanterns you find. Since there are so many lantern options, this approach is perfect for any theme! A recent trend is for lanterns to be used on tables in addition to an alternative overhead lighting option. 

Chandeliers are available in an array of styles and add a touch of elegance. Chandeliers are even being used at outdoor events! By bringing a typically “indoor” element to the outdoors you add an element of interest with your lighting.

No matter what lighting you go with, be sure that the bar, catering station, buffet table, water station, coffee station, and restrooms (including lighting on the way to the restroom) have plenty of lighting! Not only do the vendors at each respective station need to see particularly well, so do your guests when they are in these areas! If possible, add additional lighting (such as pinspot lights, overhead lighting, or a lamp) in these areas, to ensure everyone has plenty of visibility in order to do their job to the best of their ability.

Ambient lighting- Lighting is the perfect way to create ambience and complete your wedding design. While the functional lighting can be used to create ambience, there are several niche lighting options that can be added to set the mood!

Candles can be used in so many ways and send a lot of different messages. They are often placed on dinner tables to accent the centerpieces. They can either be free standing, in candelabras, candle votives, lanterns, or any other candle display you find! Since candles and the devices housing them come in so many colors, shapes, sizes, and styles they work well with any design theme. 

Candles can also venture right off the tables and into other areas of your wedding! Large lanterns, candelabras, wall sconces, floating candles, and free standing large candles displayed in clusters are just a few more unique ways to utilize candles. A more recent and unique trend is to create “candle gardens” with an array of large free standing candles for guests to either exit or enter through!

Uplights (lights that shine upwards on walls, trees, draping, etc.) can add to the overall ambience by adding pops of your wedding colors around the room. Most professional uplights can be set to whatever color you choose or even change colors if you prefer variety.These are an efficient and effective technique to incorporate your color scheme into the physical wedding venue. They truly have the ability to transform any space dramatically from one event to the next!

Pro-tip #11: It should be noted that lighting solely intended to enhance the ambience does not usually provide enough visibility on their own and should be used in conjunction with another overhead lighting source. 


Dance floor lighting- When the dancing portion of the evening arrives, dance floor lighting will communicate to guests that it is time to party! Typically your DJ or musician will provide these or offer them as an upgrade. There are a lot of options when it comes to dance floor lighting! Dance floor washes are great because they encompass your dance floor in colorful lighting creating a big impact with a single light type. Laser lights are fun for guests, because they can play with the light strands as they dance! Pulsing dance floor lights, rotating lights, or light shapes are some more fan favorites! There are also entire dance floors that light up and change colors to the beat of the music! Talk with your DJ or lighting professional to see what will be best to create your desired level of “party vibe.” 


Pro-tip #12: Avoid strobe lights if possible. Many people have strobe light sensitivities that you (and potentially even they) aren’t aware of. With so many dance floor lighting options available, choosing to leave out the strobe lights won’t take away from the dance party at all! If you absolutely adore strobe lights, by all means have them! Just be sure to have a strobe free space for guests to retreat to if they start feeling uncomfortable.


Lighting as decor- Certain lights can be utilized on their own as decor or to highlight other design elements. These lights are definitely “extras,” but if you have room in your budget to include them, they will add a lot to your wedding design!

Pinspot lights (mini spot lights) are perfect for accentuating specific design features. These are much smaller than standard spotlights, which makes them ideal for drawing attention to your cake, desserts, sweetheart table, or other areas you worked hard to design.

Gobos are a great way to add a level of customization to your wedding. This is a light that projects monograms either on a wall or the dance floor usually of the newly weds’ initials and sometimes the wedding date. Depending on your venue size and desired effect, usually one or two Gobos will be plenty!

Neon signs can be placed anywhere around the venue as a sign, photo op, or just a pretty piece of decor. The more generic ones that say things like “love,” “cake,” “drinks,” etc. are readily available for rent. Alternatively, you can commission a custom neon sign that says your names or whatever else you like. Going this route will leave you with a fun souvenir from your wedding to use somewhere in your home! If you are interested in having a custom sign created check Etsy and Amazon.


Pro-tip #13: Be sure that you have a way to hang or prop up your neon sign if necessary! Most venues won’t allow you to add nails or any other hanging technique that may cause permanent damage, so if your intent is for them to hang, create a plan to do so. 


Metal marquee letters are beautiful and can serve a variety of purposes. The small-medium ones can be used on or in front of your sweetheart table, dessert table, welcome table, etc. The large ones can either be used behind any of these tables, the dance floor, or any other area as a photo opportunity for your guests. 

Small string lights, or “fairy lights” can be incorporated into your centerpieces or other accent arrangements on special tables to achieve a whimsical feel. These are a great option if your venue does not allow candles!


Pro-tip #14: A huge bonus of lighting is how it impacts your photos! Photographers often account for a large portion of your overall wedding budget, so making sure those pictures are beautiful throughout the event is important! Adequate and particularly lovely lighting features will ensure your photo quality and content is consistently worth the expense all evening long!

Pro-tip #15: When placing lights be conscious of the effect they will have on photos. For example, placing large marquee letters directly behind the sweetheart table may create a backlighting effect on your faces. Talk with your photographer about the lighting you are planning to ensure your photos won’t be affected by your light placement. 

Pro-tip #16: Some lighting features require an outlet in order to operate. Take this into consideration when choosing placement, as they will need to be close enough to reach a power source. If they require an outlet, you will want to make sure the cord is not visible as this will take away from the rest of your beautiful design!

Utilizing flowers to accentuate your design-

Flowers are the perfect touch to complete your design and provide cohesion between your other decor pieces. Even if you choose to go a minimalist route with the flowers, they are still making a statement. By using flowers that have complimentary colors to the rest of your design, they will often bridge the gap between otherwise miss-matched pieces!

Personal flowers- Bouquets and boutonnieres help to incorporate you, your fiance, family members, and your wedding party into the overall design. The flowers will help make you and the VIP attendees appear cohesive with the rest of the colors and overall style without being too “matchy.” This is great for pictures and the general aesthetic as you walk around the celebration to greet guests. 

Centerpieces- The flowers in your centerpieces make the table feel fresh, full, and help spread your design across the reception area. They also assist in conveying the mood of your wedding to your guests! If you are having a formal wedding, a beautiful arrangement of roses on each table will help maintain the beauty and formality. If you are having a casual wedding, a bouquet of wildflowers spreads the vibe throughout the space. 

Altar/Aisle flowers- The ceremony space is usually the first designated area of your wedding that guests will see. This is a great chance to set the tone for the rest of the day! Wedding ceremony altars are often plain in order to provide each couple the opportunity to customize and make it their own. With an arrangement or two the altar is suddenly a gorgeous backdrop that you will be excited to be married in front of. Some people choose to add arrangements either at the front, back, or along the aisle to fill the space and incorporate more of their colors. Some florists will even repurpose the arrangements lining the aisle for your centerpieces and the arrangements on your altar for your sweetheart table!

Sweetheart table- You and your fiance are the stars of the show (for better or worse!) at your wedding, which means your sweetheart table will be getting a lot of attention! This space should not only be beautiful for aesthetic reasons, but also for your own happiness. Floral arrangements on and around your sweetheart table will help make this space a personal oasis to pop in and out of throughout the night!

Accent arrangements- To complete the wedding design, accent arrangements are often used on the dessert table, welcome table, gift table, and bar. Having these touches of color will help carry the design throughout your wedding!

Signage- Signs on their own have the potential to be a bit lackluster. If you have a simple sign, but your overall design isn’t minimalist, adding a garland or other floral arrangement will add a pop of color and make the sign feel like a more significant piece of the overall design.

Though flowers are a great addition to any design, they aren’t always necessary. Some people choose to skip them and only use greenery, and some people even choose to skip any kind of flora and fauna altogether!


Pro-tip #17: If you are working with a limited floral budget it is better to invest in a few special arrangements that you love, instead of spreading your budget thin and feeling disappointed by all of it! When you look back at your wedding photos you will see the bridal bouquet, the altar, and the sweetheart table over and over. Make sure you are happy with what you see!

You, your fiance, your bridal party, the guests & your design

Certain attire, hair, and makeup works better with different aesthetics. How everyone is dressed matters in relation to making everything cohesive! 

The bride- The bride’s dress, hair, and makeup are such special components to a wedding. All eyes will be on the bride, and by proxy, the dress. Choosing a dress that works with the overall aesthetic is important for the final wedding design. This doesn’t mean your colors or even textures need to match, per say, but rather that the dress style should match your design style. For example, a boho wedding needs a boho dress; a formal wedding needs a formal dress; a minimalist wedding needs a minimalist dress. There are so many options within each category, so your options are certainly not too limited! The bride’s hair and makeup should also be taken into consideration. While you do have more wiggle room on how these aspects will play into the overall design, it is still important to think about how they will work with the overall design and feel of the wedding day.

The groom- Much like the bride, the groom has a spotlight on him so the groom’s attire will be a focal point of the evening. It will look the best and complete the wedding design if the attire works with the rest of the aesthetic. Often, to make the groom stand out next to his groomsmen, his suit will be slightly different. This is a great opportunity to play even further into the wedding design. Both the groom and groomsmens’ suits should work with each other and the overall design, but they can do so in different ways! In addition to his attire, the groom should be groomed. Grooms don’t typically have their hair and makeup professionally done on wedding day (though it does happen!), but a fresh haircut and beard shaping is key! 

The wedding party- The wedding party gets a lot of attention, so what they wear matters for the overall aesthetic. Their attire should complement the bride(s) and/or groom(s) attire without distracting from or overshadowing it. Their attire is typically the two main colors of the wedding aesthetic, though occasionally one side of the wedding party will wear an accent color. In more recent trends, bridesmaids have been wearing mismatched dresses which provides the opportunity to incorporate all of the colors! Their attire should be flattering so they are comfortable and distractions inspired by an ill fitting wardrobe are minimized. Their attire should also match the formality of the event. Tuxedos and super formal evening dresses are not appropriate for all weddings! You can’t control the color or cut of your friends hair (though some people try!), but you can request they be freshly groomed and appropriately styled!

The guests- The exact attire the guests will wear is up to their own discretion, but you can (and should) specify the level of formality your wedding will be. This not only looks better and affects the overall aesthetic, but it also will make the guests more comfortable. No one wants to show up to a casual wedding in a ball gown! You can suggest or request colors and styles of attire for immediate family and Ushers who are participating in the ceremony and/or taking formal pictures with you, but typically people don’t suggest attire colors for the rest of their guests.

Pro-tip #18: The best accessory of all is a big, beautiful, genuine smile! Make sure everyone is feeling their best and going into the day in good spirits! 

How to budget for wedding design-

You can budget however much you are comfortable with spending on decor, but a good place to start is 6-8% of the overall budget for flowers, 5-10% on lighting and/or other rentals, and 2-3% on miscellaneous decor. 

While these percentages are a good starting place, in reality your own allocation of money may look very different. Your design budget will depend on what kind of aesthetic you are going for, the specific decor pieces you want, and what your venue or other vendors already include in their packages. 

Since lighting and flowers create such an impact and require their own respective vendors, they typically earn separate places on the budget breakdown aside from the rest of decor. However, it should be noted that florists often offer decor rentals, so some of your decor may be lumped into the florist category of your budget.

Table linens, chargers, special drinking glasses, centerpiece components aside from flowers, and signage will usually be the next largest cost for decor. A lot of venues, caterers, florists, wedding planners, DJs, or any combination of these vendors may include some or all of these items in their packages or offer them as upgrades. If this happens, these elements may fall into a separate category on your overall budget.

Candles, votives, or other smaller decor pieces are usually the smallest portion of the design budget. Again, one of your vendors may include these items in their packages or offer them as rentals. 

As you piece together your decor, track where each decor element is sourced from and reallocate money in the budget if needed. 

Tying it all together-

Design vision can, and almost always will, shift as planning moves forward. It is important to keep the design cohesive as the vision evolves. When certain aspects are altered, added, or removed be sure to consider how this change will work with your other design elements.  

As decor pieces are purchased, created, or rented be sure that new pieces will complement the existing pieces. This is most easily done by keeping the items or pictures of the items organized in one location so everything can be compared and contrasted as they are added to the wedding design!

Consult with your wedding planner, decorator, or florist as your vision evolves for a second opinion on your evolving vision. These professionals can offer valuable insight into how everything will work together, keep you on track if necessary, and provide advice on how to turn your dream into reality!

For More info & Helpful resources -

https://bumblebeelinens.com/blog/wedding-resources/

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

All Things Wedding Photographer

You spend months planning and preparing for your big day, and then just like that it comes and goes. The pictures (and potentially video) are the only concrete things you will have left to remember all of the special little moments that sped by. When it comes to booking a photographer there are so many things to consider in order to feel confident in your selection. Follow this guide to have a positive experience from start to finish with your wedding photographer!

This article is divided into 4 sections:

  1. Things to consider about wedding photographers

  2. Questions to ask a photographer prior to booking

  3. What to do after booking to maximize the photographers services

  4. An example photo shot list

You spend months planning and preparing for your big day, and then just like that it comes and goes. The pictures (and potentially video) are the only concrete things you will have left to remember all of the special little moments that flew by. Your wedding photographer is an investment in your memories! When it comes to booking a photographer there are so many things to consider in order to feel confident in your selection. Follow this guide to have a positive experience from start to finish with your wedding photographer!

This article is divided into 4 sections:

  1. Things to consider about wedding photographers

  2. Questions to ask a photographer prior to booking

  3. What to do after booking to maximize the photographers services

  4. An example photo shot list

Things to consider about wedding photographers

  1. A wedding photographer is different from other photographers. Wedding photography requires a specific skill set that develops after working many weddings. They need to anticipate reactions, micro-events, and opportune moments for raw emotion. A professional wedding photographer has also mastered the skill of being in the right place at the right time, while avoiding stepping into the way of the bridal party or other professionals. They also are there to capture your emotion on a very important day. In order to do this properly, it takes a practiced eye! Wedding photographers also often are capturing individuals who aren’t used to being in front of a camera. Their experience helps make their clients feel comfortable expressing those incredible emotions in front of the camera and posing the couples who are a little camera shy!

  2. There are a million photography and editing styles out there. Wedding photography looks so different from photographer to photographer. Before diving into your photographer search, be sure to do a little research into the various styles. This will help direct your search and guide your selection process.

  3. Check for photo clarity when browsing albums. No matter what style of photography you are drawn to, check for photo clarity. This offers insight not only into skill and experience level, but also quality of equipment! Photo clarity is a good sign of a highly experienced, skilled individual working with great equipment! There are plenty of opportunities for action shots and of course those may be a little less clear than the still photos, but there should still be a general consistency of clarity amongst their photos. 

  4. Make sure your contract protects you. This is true for all vendors, but it is especially common to find vague or ambiguous wording in photography contracts. Time frames for photo return, a minimum amount of deliverable photos, and additional costs (should you choose to add a service later) should be specifically outlined in your contract. If you love a photographer and find that this information is missing from their contract, ask for it to be added! If they refuse to add in concrete deliverable information, this is a pretty big warning sign that they aren’t confident in the promises they are making! 

  5. Be mindful when negotiating pricing. Providing and valuing a service is a daunting task for an artistic professional. These professionals spend years perfecting their craft and adjust their pricing based on their ever evolving skill level and demand for service. If you fall in love with a vendor who is out of your price range, it never hurts to ask if they can accommodate your budget. The key here though is asking and understanding if they aren’t able to make this accommodation. 

  6. Always look through a few full albums before booking. Everyone wants to put their best foot forward, so the photographs included on each professional's website is going to be what they consider to accurately and positively reflect their work. Occasionally,  photographers will link a full album or two on their website, but more often than not they will include just the highlights. There is nothing wrong with only including the highlights on their website! There is plenty of reason to do so! Typically you can find at least anywhere from 15-50 photos from past weddings on photographers’ websites to give an example of their work and hopefully entice you enough to reach out. However, 15-50 particularly gorgeous photos are not enough to gauge the consistency of quality in their work. Request a few full albums to peruse (they will almost always happily provide these- if they don’t, be concerned!). Look through the full albums to make sure they are consistent with the quality they exemplify on their website!

  7. Talk to the professional either in person or on the phone prior to booking. This is true for all vendors, but especially important with your photographer. Your photographer will be spending the entire day with you, so it is very important to find someone whose personality meshes with yours.

  8. Understand the difference between posed photos and authentic moments. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to capturing authentic moments vs. posed photos, but there is value in understanding the difference as a consumer. If you like being told how and where to stand, that is totally fine! Just be sure that you find a photographer who has experience doing this! If you prefer minimal or no posed photos, look for raw emotion and authentic moments captured in the full albums! Typically wedding photographers will favor one of these styles over the other, but include at least a little of both in your wedding photos.

  9. The price you pay is not just for your wedding day. Photographers spend a lot of time on their clients. They dedicate time prior to the wedding to study your personalities, timeline, and shot list in order to be fully prepared to capture your day. After the wedding, they pour hours of time and energy into sifting through thousands of photos, finding the very best shots, and editing accordingly. They also invest a lot of money back into maintaining and upgrading their equipment to ensure they are providing the best service possible. Take all of this into consideration when discussing price! Depending on the professional and your wedding day timeline, they will have often spent upwards of 40 hours working on your wedding! Above all else, you are paying for an accurate representation of how the day unfolded so you can reminisce for years to come!

Questions to ask prior to booking a photographer

Pro-tip: Not all of these questions will be necessary in every situation. Some may not be applicable to you and a lot of this may be answered on your photographer’s website or pricing menu. Be sure to carefully select the questions that are relevant to your unique situation to avoid overwhelming yourself and the photographer with too much information!

Package Insight-

  1. Are you available on my date?

  2. Does your package include a second photographer? If I’d like to add a second (or third!) shooter, what is the cost for an additional shooter?

  3. How many hours are included in your package?

  4. What do you charge for additional hours?

  5. Does your wedding package include an engagement session? If not, what is the cost of booking this separately?

  6. How many edited photos can I expect back from my engagement session?

  7. How many edited photos can I expect back from my wedding?

  8. Do you provide “sneak peeks” for either the engagement session and/or the wedding?

  9. If so, how many typically are provided in the “sneak peek” for each?

  10. What is the turnaround time for my “sneak peek” photos?

  11. What is the turnaround time for my full wedding album?

  12. Will I have access to the raw photos?

  13. How do you deliver the photos?

  14. Will the images be accessible online? For how long?

  15. Will the online photo gallery be shareable so I can give my friends and family access?

  16. Are albums or prints included in your package? How many pages or prints are included? Will you be selecting the photos in the album or will we? What is the turnaround time?

  17. If prints and/or albums are not included in your package, do we have the option to order them directly from you at an additional cost? If so, what is the additional cost?

  18. Do you retain any of the rights to the photos?

  19. What do the rights you retain mean for me?

  20. Will you be posting any of our photos on your website and social media? 

  21. Will you need our separate permission to submit the photos to any third party publication or will you already have those rights according to the contract?

  22. Do you charge a travel fee? If so, how much and for what distance?

Experience-

  1. How long have you been a professional photographer?

  2. How long have you been a wedding photographer?

  3. How many weddings have you photographed?

  4. How many weddings do you typically have in a single weekend?

  5. Have you worked at my venue before? If not, will you attend a venue walk through to scout out ideal photo locations?

  6. Can we see a few recent full wedding galleries? (Hint: ask to see at least 2-3 full albums and take a really good look through them!)

Style-

  1. How would you describe your photography style?

  2. How do you describe your working style? Are you in the background capturing the events unfolding around you? Are you more active in posing people?

  3. What kind of camera do you use?

  4. How will you and your team dress? (Hint: keep in mind that your photographer will be doing a lot of moving around, so while they should still dress appropriately for a wedding they typically don't dress as formally as the guests.)

  5. Can we request a list of specific shots we would like?

  6. How many photos do you typically capture throughout the course of a wedding day? (Hint: this is different from the amount of pictures returned according to your contract. This is the full amount they will be sifting through to choose which ones to edit. If the photographer gives you access to all of the raw photos, this number will be more relevant to you.)

  7. Do you have experience working at indoor and/or outdoor venues and how do you compensate or play up the lighting?

Logistics-

  1. When will we receive the contract?

  2. How much do you require for a deposit? When is it due?

  3. What is your payment schedule like? (I.e. When is the remaining balance due? Hint: most photographers take payments in 2-3 installments: 1st payment is the deposit, the remainder is due at varying times before the wedding. The exact payment schedule varies from photographer to photographer.)

  4. What is your refund or cancellation policy if I cancel?

  5. What is your refund or cancellation policy if you cancel?

  6. Do you have liability insurance? Does it cover your second shooter and assistant(s), as well?

  7. Do you carry backup equipment?

  8. What is the backup plan if you are unable to personally work my wedding for any reason? Is this written into the contract?

  9. Do you have experience working with a videographer? If so, how do you work with and around each other to ensure everyone is able to capture the important moments in full?

Bonuses-

  1. Do you offer any additional services, like a photo booth or videography?

  2. If you don’t personally offer videography, do you have a videographer you recommend?

  3. Are you available to photograph any pre-wedding events (i.e. bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, engagement party, etc.)? If so, what are the rates for these?

Maximizing your photographer’s services

What to do after booking your wedding photographer

  1. Schedule an engagement session. Engagement sessions are great for a few reasons. First, the photos they generate are great for save the dates, invitations, and your wedding website. Second, the engagement session is the perfect time to get to know your photographer a little bit better. Familiarity is comforting, and you want to be comfortable on your wedding day! Forming a foundational relationship with this professional during an engagement session is a great opportunity to become familiar with each other so you are comfortable spending your wedding day with them! Third, your engagement pictures will give you an idea of how your photographer’s style will translate to you. While the engagement pictures typically have a slightly different feel to them than the wedding photos, this is still the perfect chance to see how your photographer captures you (and make suggestions if necessary)!

  2. Build your wedding day timeline and be sure to schedule adequate time to capture all of your desired shots. Photographers are usually happy to offer feedback on your timeline based on what you are expecting from the photos. If you want a lot of bridal party pictures, extended family pictures, sunset pictures, etc., you will need to allocate plenty of time to make sure you are setting the photographer up for success! If the timeline is tight you may have to cut your desired posed photo list down a bit or shift things to accommodate the desired photo list. 

  3. Consider what photos you really want captured, and communicate this with the photographer. It is fairly common for couples to prepare a “shot-list” of desired photos they’d like. While it is nearly impossible to guarantee those exact moments will be captured (guest cooperation, guest availability, timing, etc. will affect the ability for these desired photos to be captured), providing a “shot-list” will certainly make it much more feasible! This list doesn’t have to be long if you aren’t particular about what photos you’d like. Your photographer is a professional and will do an amazing job capturing your day without a guideline. However, if you are passionate about a few (or many!) shots, provide them with a list so they can do everything in their power to capture all of the moments and details you’d like pictures of! Check out our sample shot list in the next section!

Example shot list

Getting Ready

  1. Bride and bridesmaids arriving to getting ready location

  2. Bride's dress and/or robe hanging in a photogenic space

  3. All of the bridesmaids’ dresses hanging together

  4. Bride’s hair and makeup being done (either by the professionals or stage a bridesmaid doing touch ups for the picture)

  5. Bridesmaids’ hair and makeup being done

  6. Bride re-reading vows to herself

  7. Bridesmaid pouring champagne

  8. Bride and bridesmaids toasting

  9. Bride with bridesmaids after hair and makeup is done but before formal attire is put on (in robes or other getting ready attire)

  10. Wedding invitation with bride’s jewelry and bouquet

  11. Mom helping bride with a final detail, (either putting on the veil, zipping up the dress, or putting on a necklace)

  12. Full-length photo of the bride in her dress looking in a mirror

  13. Dress detail shot (i.e. lace, embellishments, buttons, etc.)

  14. Picture(s) of shoes, rings, garter, jewelry, or other small pieces

  15. Emotional moment of bride with significant family members (i.e. siblings, parents, grandparents, step-parents, etc.)

  16. Bride with all the women present for getting ready

  17. Groom getting ready with groomsmen and/or family

  18. Dad or Best Man tying the groom’s tie

  19. Emotional moment of groom with significant family members (i.e. siblings, parents, grandparents, step-parents, etc.)

  20. Groom with all the groomsmen

  21. Groom’s mom putting his boutonniere on

  22. Groomsmen putting on boutonnieres, ties, and jackets

  23. First look or touch picture with bride and groom

  24. Bride with the flower girl

  25. Groom with the ring bearer

The Ceremony

  1. The ceremony space before anyone enters

  2. Guests arriving and finding their seats

  3. The altar before anyone is standing there

  4. Groom waiting to walk down the aisle

  5. Close-up of groom waiting for bride at the altar

  6. Processional pictures of the bridal party, family members, and kiddos walking down the aisle

  7. Wedding party waiting at the altar

  8. Bride and escort before walking down the aisle

  9. Bride and escort walking down the aisle

  10. Groom’s face as he sees the bride at the end of the aisle

  11. Bride and groom at the altar

  12. Altar from the back during ceremony

  13. Wide shot of audience during ceremony, from bride and groom's point of view

  14. Close-ups of the bride and groom while exchanging vows

  15. Close-ups of bride's and groom's hands when they exchange rings

  16. The kiss (Pro-tip: make sure your officiant knows to move to the side so they aren’t in this shot!)

  17. Bride and groom recessing up the aisle, guests' smiling in the background

  18. Group shot with all guests still in seats once bride and groom get to the end of the aisle

  19. Bride and groom outside ceremony site

  20. Celebration shots: the bride and groom hugging, laughing, and crying with good friends and family immediately following the ceremony

  21. Bride, groom, officiant, and witnesses signing the marriage license

Cocktail hour (OR before the ceremony if you are doing a first look and have extra time)

  1. Bride and groom together (Pro-tip: don’t spend too much time at this point on just you two! Save some of these for sunset!)

  2. Bride with her parents and/or stepparents

  3. Bride & groom with the bride’s entire immediate family 

  4. Groom with his parents and/or stepparents

  5. Bride and groom with the groom’s entire immediate family

  6. Bride and groom with all parents

  7. Bride and groom with immediate family members from both sides

  8. Bride and groom with groomsmen (serious and playful pictures)

  9. Bride and groom with bridesmaids (serious and playful pictures)

  10. Bride and bridesmaids holding their bouquets together

  11. Bride and groom with whole wedding party (serious and playful pictures)

  12. Guests enjoying amenities at cocktail hour (i.e. appetizers, drinks, games, etc.)

  13. Bride’s and groom’s rings together

The Reception

  1. Shot from outside reception venue

  2. Empty reception room once all details are finished before guests enter

  3. Reception design details such as welcome sign, place cards, seating chart, guest book, centerpieces, sweetheart table, decorations, place settings, guests favors, champagne glasses, the bar, buffet being set up

  4. Guests taking their seats

  5. Bride and groom arriving at reception venue

  6. Grand entrance

  7. Bride and groom at the sweetheart table

  8. Parents' table

  9. Guests' tables

  10. Sunset/golden hour pictures with bride and groom (typically start about 15 mins prior to true sunset and lasts 15 minutes after)

  11. Close-up of friends and family making toasts

  12. Bride and groom listening, laughing, and crying during toasts

  13. Bride and groom visiting with the guests while everyone is seated for dinner (table pictures)

  14. Bride and groom's first dance

  15. Parents dancing

  16. Bride and Dad dancing

  17. Groom and Mom dancing

  18. Wedding party dancing

  19. Grandparents dancing

  20. Kids playing and dancing

  21. Vendors making everything perfect behind the scenes

  22. Guests getting it on the dance floor

  23. Cake and/or dessert table

  24. Bride and groom cutting the cake

  25. Bride and groom feeding each other cake 

  26. Bouquet toss

  27. Retrieving, tossing, and catching of the garter

  28. Picture with the bouquet and garter catchers

  29. Bride and groom dancing with the guests

  30. Grand exit

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

Wedding Planning Tips

Wedding planning has so many moving pieces. Feel confident and worry free by following this list of tips and tricks!

Wedding planning is an exciting and unique journey. There are so many ways to make the planning process smooth and stress-free. Below are 32 of our favorite ways to keep the planning process fun!

1. Budget is a great starting place

Whether you are working with a $3k budget or a $300k budget, knowing your maximum budget will help guide all other aspects of planning your wedding. Come up with an overall number that you and your fiance (or whoever is funding the wedding) are comfortable with, and then do a little research to feel out how this money should be divided up amongst the many wedding vendors. Click here for a guide to building your wedding budget breakdown!

2. Guest count matters

If money truly is not an object, then guest count should be the first step to planning. Knowing how many guests you need to comfortably accommodate will help you select a venue, caterer, food service style, bar, sound system, etc. Guest count will have a huge impact on the overall budget. As you create your budget breakdown, play around with the guest count to see how it will affect the way money is allocated.

3. Consider outside factors that may affect guest and vendor availability

There are often a lot of factors to consider when thinking of a wedding date. It is fairly common for couples to go into wedding planning with a date already in mind. Before becoming too attached to any particular date, consider what other events are happening around this time that might affect guests ability to make it and overall vendor availability.

For example, if your town is hosting a wine festival on July 25, many local vendors might be booked to participate in this event. An event like this might draw a lot of visitors from out of town, making finding a hotel room or even reasonably priced flights harder to come by for guests. Not to mention, even your in town guests might already have pre-planned to attend the alternative event!

4. Check the weather!

Weather has the ability to drastically alter how your day will go and add a lot of unplanned expenses. A particularly windy day at an outdoor venue can cause a lot of problems! If the weather is too hot or too cold, guests might not be inclined until the end of the event. While it is always good to continue to check the weather and make reasonable climate control attempts (i.e. umbrellas, tents, heaters, etc.) picking a date that is generally at a time when the weather is temperate will save you a lot of stress throughout the planning process! 

Pro-tip #1: You can Google any date and find the weather trends on that exact date for the last few hundred years. Of course, this can’t guarantee the exact weather on your wedding day, but it can at least give you a little insight into what the weather will likely be. 

5. The sunset waits for no one

The sunset will happen when it happens. You can’t control it, so plan for it! In order to get those amazing golden hour shots, shape the rest of your event around this opportune time!  Sunset is important for more than just aesthetics, though! When the sun goes down, the overall climate will change, and accommodations may be needed to keep guests comfortable for the duration for the celebration! 

Pro-tip #2: Google what time the sunset will be when planning your timeline! Google knows all, so even 18 months away from your wedding date you can look up exactly what time the sun will be setting on your wedding day. Having this time in mind will make it easier to map out when certain events should occur.

6. Consolidate spending and rack up credit card points!!

Opening a specific credit card for wedding related expenses is great for several reasons. First, if all the expenses are made in one place it will be way simpler to track spending. It will also be easier to communicate these expenses to other people who might be financially invested in your wedding. This is also a great opportunity to rack up some points! Weddings are a huge expense, so you might as well get something in return! If you rack up enough points you may just be able to pay for your honeymoon!

7. Take vendor recommendations

There is no need to reinvent the wheel! Wedding professionals spend every weekend meeting and making connections with other amazing vendors. Vendors are highly likely to suggest vendors they only truly feel confident in, as they are putting their own reputation on the line by offering these referrals. 

8. Guests = Money

If you find yourself looking to cut costs, cut the guest list. Each guest costs money to host, so if you find yourself in a financially tough situation, take another look at the guest list! This is just another great reason why starting with the budget is ideal. By taking a careful look at how much money you can spend on the wedding you will have a clear understanding of how many guests and at what cost per person will work for you!

Pro-tip #3: Make sure that you have a very clear handle on the budget before sending out invitations. This way if you need to cut the guest list you don’t have to officially uninvite anyone!

9. Advocate early for yourself

Prior to booking, vendors will be more likely to make modifications to their packages and overall price to earn your business. Once the contract is signed and the deposit has been paid they are typically less likely to throw in freebies, because that isn’t what was in the initial agreement. A lot of vendors are firm on their prices, but many are happy to make custom packages to ensure you are satisfied with what you are signing up for!

Pro-tip #4: When asking for free upgrades or a discount, remember you are asking a favor, so ask nicely! These vendors are professionals which means they rely on your business to provide for themselves and their families. While they may want to accommodate your budget, they may not be financially able to do so. 

10. Stay organized throughout planning

Staying organized will help keep planning on track and fun. There are many approaches to wedding organization, but no matter what method works for you, stick to it! Update your information regularly, keep everything in one place, and check in on your to-do lists often! For a full list of tips and tricks on staying organized, click here!

11. Chunk out your planning

Remember in school when your teachers would write out the big goals of the day and the smaller tasks you’d do in order to achieve these goals? Well, they were really onto something! Break down your to-do list into sections to make planning more manageable, easier to track, and more rewarding! Click here, for some useful tips and an idea of how to build your own planning timeline.

12. Draft of your day-of timeline early on

Create a rough draft of your wedding day fairly early on in your wedding planning process. Map out how you would like the day to be paced and what time you’d like major events to happen. This may (and probably will) change quite a bit as your plans shift, but having a general outline will help you menally prepare and offer guidance as you book vendors. When it comes time to sign contracts with vendors they will want to know a start and finish time. Certain vendors (like your venue, bartenders, photographer, videographer, and DJ) will have packages that include a certain amount of hours. Having a rough draft of your timeline will give you a better idea of how many hours you need them onsite.

13. Stock your bar...

...with the appropriate amount of bartenders. Avoid long lines at the bar by hiring an appropriate amount of staff for your guest count. Typically for a simple bar (beer, wine, 1-2 pre batched cocktails), you need one bartender per 50 guests to keep the line down. If you are having a fully open bar where guests can order whatever drink they want you will need an extra bartender or two to make sure guests are taken care of in a timely manner.

Pro-tip #5: Take the bar size into consideration. If your venue has a smaller physical bar space, hire an amount of bartenders that make sense for the space. If you are having a large wedding with a small physical bar space, consider renting a second bar to keep the line under control! Small bar lines = full dance floor!

14. Plan for the un-plannable

When going through your budget, make sure to leave some “flex” money for miscellaneous items that may pop up over the course of planning. There are almost always unforeseen expenses that usually aren’t discovered until money has already been spent in other areas. Instead of feeling like you have to blow the budget on these items, anticipate them! 

15. When in doubt, ask your professionals

Wedding professionals spend a lot of time at weddings and have gained a lot of valuable insight over their years of experience. Your wedding professionals are usually very well versed in what seemingly simple touches can make the day run smoother! Take their advice into consideration. If it works with your vision, great!

16. Postage points

After carefully researching and designing the perfect invitations, no one wants to stick an ugly stamp on the envelope. Instead of choosing from the limited options available at the post office, consider ordering your stamps online at USPS.com. 

Pro-tip #6: Weigh your invitations before you send them out so you can be confident the postage attached is adequate to get your invitation to its destination. If you have an oddly shaped envelope, be sure to ask at the post office about the best method and postage amount to ensure delivery.

Pro-tip 7: Pre-stamp your return RSVP cards. Guests are more likely to quickly send their RSVP cards back if they are pre-stamped.

17. Not all the guests will be able to attend, and that is okay!

Things happen and not everyone will be able to attend your wedding. This is okay! On average about 15-20% of invitees won’t be able to attend. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you! Just remember, guests cost money, so even though you’d love for everyone to celebrate with you, saving money is a huge silver lining to the “No” RSVPs. Alternatively, this will open up a few spaces for the friends that you thought you might not be able to invite. 

18. Be consistent with the kiddos

Adults only weddings are becoming more and more common, but there is still a lot of grey area on what that exactly means. A lot of “adults only” weddings will still have a few rugrats running around for any number of reasons. When you send out your invitations specify the kid restriction. You have four options: all kids are welcome, "adults only," immediate family kids only, or you can invite everyone to bring their children and provide childcare for the kids, either at the venue, in a hotel room, or in someone’s home. Consistency is key, though! If you allow some friends to bring children, it is best to allow everyone to bring their children. (Immediate family and kiddos in the bridal party are an exception!)

19. The A, B, C’s to your guest list

This is not a fun guideline to suggest, but it is a good one to follow. When preparing your guest list, separate the list into 3 sections: your “A listers” (the people that are invited no matter what); the “B listers” (the people who you hope to invite if there is enough room); and the “C listers” (the people you want to invite, but will only invite if people from one of the first two lists drop out). This will make cutting down your guest list a lot easier if it becomes necessary down the road. It will also help you prioritize your budget. If having everyone from all three lists is important, allocate money in such a way that this is possible!

20. Limit the plus ones

Considering you are mapping out an A, B, C guest list and trying to track a budget, you do not need to allow every guest a plus one! 

A general rule of thumb, if a guest is married their significant other needs to be invited. Even if you don’t include a section for a plus one on their RSVP, their significant other’s invitation is implied. If, for whatever reason, a significant other is not invited that needs to be explicitly communicated to your guest. 

Aside from married couples, it is nice to allow guests who may not know a lot of other attendees a plus one. If someone is requesting a plus one and you simply can’t accommodate the other person, just let your guest know that you’ve already had to make difficult decisions about your guest list and you don’t have the room (or budget!)

For everyone else, they should not expect to be allowed a plus one unless specified on the invitation. 

Pro-tip #8: Try to avoid mentioning budget as a restriction unless the situation specifically makes sense to bring this up. Guests will offer to pay for their plus one in lieu of not bringing one which doesn’t really solve your problem if your real issue is space or simply not wanting strangers around for an intimate celebration.

21. Guest transportation

Providing guest transportation to and from a hotel is always nice, but it isn’t expected nor is it necessary if your budget is starting to be stretched a little thin. If faced with a choice, it is best to either skip it completely or provide transportation for everyone. Having one or two shuttles to take a portion of guests (bridal party and immediate family not included), but not the rest of your guests can be confusing. Guests may see a shuttle leave and wait for another one, that isn’t coming. 

Pro-tip #9: If you are tight on money, but want to offer some sort of transportation accommodation, sign up with a ride-share company and provide guests with a discount code. You can pre-set the discount amount and the maximum amount you are willing to cover. 

22. Room blocks and your budget

If you have a lot of out of town guests it is nice to find a hotel in close proximity to your wedding venue for guests to stay during their visit. Setting aside a room block will often allow guests to book at a lower rate than finding a place on their own. 

That being said, a lot of the hotels that offer room blocks will hold you financially accountable for the unbooked rooms in your block. If possible, avoid this kind of arrangement! If this is your only option, only set aside enough rooms for your immediate family that you know will be booking or skip the block completely! You can typically add rooms later on if necessary, though they may be at a different rate than the initial block. 

Pro-tip #10: If there is a large event taking place nearby on the weekend of your wedding, a room block is crucial to guarantee guests can find accommodations! 

Pro-tip #11: Avoid being held financially accountable for unbooked rooms in your blocks by not making a block, but instead suggest a few nearby hotels for guests to choose from.  This takes the guesswork out of the hotel search for guests, but will potentially save you a massive added expense. 

23. Document everything in writing

Chances are, leading up to the wedding day you will have a lot of discussions with your vendors about small details that aren’t included in your contracts. In order to track the information being shared, and ensure that all of the details are covered, make sure everything is in writing. 

There are often several people working with each company you have booked for your wedding. Having everything in writing will keep information consistent between individuals within the company.  

Even if you have discussed something several times over the phone, send a follow up email outlining the details you need your vendor to take care of on the day of. After sharing the same details with so many people involved with the wedding, it can be challenging to remember exactly who was told what, but having everything in writing is a great way to keep track of this. 

24. Think through the day-of set up logistics

Talk to your venue about what time you and your vendors will have access to the space for set-up. Carefully consider how much time and helping hands your decor will take to set up. Remember that if you aren’t hiring outside help, you will need to make sure you have enough vehicles to transport decor, hands to delegate the set up between, and ample time to have everything done and done well! If you are hiring outside help, it is still important that transporting everything to and from the venue has been thoroughly planned and enough hands have been hired to properly set up in the time allotted! Click here for a thorough day of checklist to make sure you have accounted for all of the details!

25. Make it official with your marriage license

Do a little research into the process for applying for a marriage license prior to showing up at your courthouse. Make sure that you know the timeframe before your wedding that you can apply for your marriage license. 

On the day-of designate someone to be responsible for storing your marriage license in a safe pre-determined space so that you can send it in and legally be married! 

Pro-tip #12: In the state of California, technically, it is the officiant’s responsibility (and legal obligation) to return your marriage license within 10 days of the ceremony. However, if, for whatever reason, the marriage license isn’t returned you are still married. (source)

26. Become well versed in your venue’s policies and protocols

If you are holding your wedding ceremony at a place of religious worship, discuss what expectations the venue has of you and your guests. For example, do they have a specific time that all guests need to be off the property?; how strict are they on ceremony start time?; do your guests need to dress a certain way?; are you allowed to place any decor?; is flash photography allowed?; etc.?

Reception venues (or combined ceremony and reception venues) often have their own policies and protocols that they expect you and your vendors to adhere to. Most venues will provide a list of these rules, but if you are not provided any, ask for a specific breakdown of their policies. This will help you prepare appropriately and protect/mentally prepare you if something goes wrong that would result in the venue charging additional fees.

Pro-tip #13: Venues will often ask for signed copies of their rules from your vendors. If they don’t require this, it is still a good idea to share the house rules with your vendors so they have an opportunity to understand what the venue restricts and requires of them.

27. Discuss your values, and allocate money accordingly

When you begin to breakdown your budget into an outline (see item #1 on this list), typically you will want to start by writing out the full list of vendors that you will need. From there, discuss with your fiance what matters the most to you both and allocate money accordingly. You may LOVE flowers and want to designate a higher percentage of your overall budget towards this! By doing this in the beginning of planning you will help guide your vendor selection and stay within budget.

28. Keep guests engaged by putting yourself in their shoes

The guests are there to celebrate YOU, so make sure they are well taken care of! Prepare an adequate sound system so that they can see and hear throughout your ceremony and reception. Keep them comfortable by providing climate control and offering amenities such as blankets, flat shoes for dancing, and plenty of access to food, water, and shade. Schedule the day so that activities aren’t during high distraction times or too spaced out allowing guests to get antsy. Click here for timeline building help! Think through the day from the guests perspective to ensure everything is engaging, comfortable, and fun throughout the event.

29. Keep contact information handy!

Keep all of your vendor contact information organized and easily accessible on your wedding day. Things happen, and you don’t want to waste too much time tracking down a vendor’s phone number if you need to contact them.

Pro-tip #14: Designate someone as a point of contact for vendors on your wedding day. If you have a coordinator or planner they will be the go-to person for the other vendors. If you don’t have a professional, designate a family member or bridesmaid to be the point of contact so you don’t have 20 vendors calling you with set-up questions on the wedding day. Even if you have a planner or coordinator, it is still a good idea to designate a bridesmaid as a contact for that person!

30. Gals gas gals up; dress shop with your friends

Dress shopping is best when done with a small group. This can be an emotionally taxing process for so many reasons and its best to have a solid support system there to keep you grounded. Make sure to bring honest friends so they can tell you what is flattering, keep your energy up if you start to feel discouraged, and help you stay firm on your budget. 

Pro-tip #15: Support is so much more than telling you are gorgeous in everything (we already know that you are!). True support is helping you make a realistic choice based on your budget, vision, and body type. Make sure that the people you bring along are ready to keep your spirits high, but your expectations realistic.

Pro-tip #16: Don’t bring too many people while you are trying on dresses. Ideally, you will have 1-3 people tagging along to your dress appointments. Two main reasons for this: (1) too many people can be distracting. Having voices for guidance is important, but too many opinions will quickly become overwhelming. (2) Most bridal shops have small showrooms so there isn’t a ton of room for a whole gathering. If you do show up with more people than they are comfortable with, the stylist may feel the need to rush you along to clear the space. 

Pro-tip #16.5: Call ahead to the bridal shop to see how many people they can comfortably accommodate.

31. Manage your to-do list

Staying on top of your to-do list throughout planning will help you accomplish every nitty-gritty task you have planned. However, when you get down to the wire, don’t push yourself to the point of wedding burn out! In that final month, the smallest little details that somehow managed to slip through the cracks are finally coming to light. Skip the things you don’t truly need, delegate the things you can, and tackle what you really need to do head on! In that final month stretch, you want to be getting excited for the wedding, not pushing yourself to the point where you’re excited for it to be over.

32. Don’t sweat the small stuff

This is the best and most consistent wedding advice you will probably receive. Things may not go as planned. Some things may not go as planned to the point that you will need to address them after the fact. On your wedding day, the most important thing is getting married! Everything else is extra. No matter what happens, as long as you are with the person you love, your wedding day is already perfect! Stay focused on the positives and live in the moment! Chances are, if you are able to focus on all of the best parts, you won’t even notice the little hiccups that may occur!

Pro-tip #17: Hiring a day-of coordinator will offer peace of mind so that you don’t feel the need to look for the small hiccups. You can live in the moment and feel confident that someone else is handling the behind the scenes aspects for you! A great coordinator will take care of everything before you even notice something wasn’t quite as planned!

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

Rehearsal Dinner Planning Guide

Rehearsal dinner usually immediately follows the ceremony rehearsal and is typically the final gathering of friends and family prior to the big day. Below is a planning guide to help you manage the who, what, when, where, why, and how of this event. Follow this guide or share it with the event host for a smooth rehearsal dinner planning experience!

Wedding day is right around the corner! A ceremony rehearsal is almost always necessary in order to get the bridal party and family members on the same page about how the ceremony, and the day as a whole, will run. This time is a great opportunity to share the timeline, ceremony details, and other pertinent information that you won’t want to spend time explaining on the actual wedding day. 

Rehearsal dinner usually immediately follows the ceremony rehearsal and is typically the final gathering of friends and family prior to the big day. Below is a planning guide to help you manage the who, what, when, where, why, and how of this event. Follow this guide or share it with the event host for a smooth rehearsal dinner planning experience! 

What is the purpose of rehearsal dinner?

This event is intended to gather your bridal party and immediate family in an intimate setting before the big day. Oftentimes family or bridal party members travel for your wedding and/or take time away from work or other obligations to attend the rehearsal and celebrate your love. This is an opportunity to show thanks for all that your bridal party and family have done for you!

When should the rehearsal dinner take place?

Rehearsal dinner typically occurs directly following the ceremony rehearsal. This means that it will take place either the night before or a few days prior to your wedding. While it is called “rehearsal dinner” it doesn’t necessarily have to be a dinner. If you host the rehearsal earlier in the day, it can be a rehearsal brunch or lunch. If you want something a little less formal you can have a rehearsal “happy hour” or something similar that implies a gathering that doesn’t necessarily include a full meal.

Pro-tip #1: Know your friends and plan accordingly. If you have a bridal party that likes to drink heavily, host the event two days before your wedding instead of the night before. No one wants a hungover bridal party on their wedding day! If this isn’t an option, limit the alcohol provided to wine and beer only.

Example rehearsal dinner planning timeline-

6 months prior to the wedding- 

Create a guest list for the rehearsal dinner

Decide on the general “feel” for your rehearsal dinner (formal, casual, something in between?)

Contact ceremony venue and confirm rehearsal date

Find & book a venue to host the dinner

3 months prior to the wedding-

Consider how you want to invite your guests to rehearsal dinner

Order invitations if necessary

2 months prior to the wedding- 

Send out invitations to rehearsal dinner (send these sooner if a lot of guests are traveling so they can book travel arrangements accordingly!)

1 month prior to the wedding-

Find decor for rehearsal dinner

Select attire for rehearsal dinner

1 day(ish) prior to the wedding- 

Host ceremony rehearsal

Host rehearsal dinner

Who hosts the rehearsal dinner?

Traditionally the groom’s parents take on this task, but the host can be anyone, and completely depends on your situation. If the groom’s parents aren’t able to host- or if you have two brides-, it can be the bride’s parents, other relatives, or even yourselves! The bridal party doesn’t typically take charge of this event, since the event is intended as a “thank you” for them. 

How should I invite people?

As always, there are no set rules. Sending formal invitations by mail is great if you have the time and wiggle room in the budget, but not necessary by any means! Many other wedding blogs and older generations would strongly disagree with me on this, though, so be prepared for a host coming from an older generation to find formal invitations necessary. Since the guest list is typically just those absolutely closest to you, invitations can easily be sent via email, Facebook, or even a quick text!

No matter how you choose to spread word about the party, the invitations do not need to be as formal as the wedding invitations. These invitations also do not need to be a reflection of your wedding design in any way, though they usually do incorporate aspects of your wedding design. You, or the host, can pick whatever aesthetic makes you all happy!

Pro-tip #2: If you and your host disagree on how invitations should be sent, choosing to mail more casual invitations with bright colors and fun fonts can be a good compromise!

Pro-tip #3: Take this one with a grain of salt, but… pick and choose your battles. There will probably be plenty of opinions coming your way about the wedding that you will need to navigate. If the host of this event feels really strongly about the invitations, this may not be the hill to die on. 

Who should be invited?

Who you invite depends on the overall feel you are going for. Typically it is just your immediate family and anyone who is walking down the aisle (in other words, any one who needs to attend the ceremony rehearsal). 

Here is a general outline of who is typically invited:

  • Your bridal party AND a guest*

    *Not everyone has to have a guest. If they have traveled out of town with a “plus one” to your wedding, that person is usually invited to the rehearsal dinner. If you are good friends with their significant other, that person should be invited. If they are scrolling through Tinder and find someone they’d like to invite... you DEFINITELY don’t need to invite them. 

  • Your immediate families (if your relationship with them allows for this)

  • If the host has a larger budget and you have a large wedding guest list (usually applicable if 250+), occasionally extended family who traveled from out of town will be invited too. If you invite your out of town extended family, most people will include their in town relatives as well.

What information should the invitations include?

As always, names, date, location, and time will need to be included on the invitation. The host should also specify what kind of refreshments can be expected (appetizers only, full dinner, hosted bar, BYOB, no alcohol, etc.) Be sure to include the time and location of the actual ceremony rehearsal, too!

The rehearsal dinner host may also want to include their name and that is totally fine! People will often word the invites “The parents/aunt/cousin/friend/etc. of X invite you to the wedding rehearsal of their daughter/son/other to [Fiance name here] [list time and location]. Dinner to follow [list time and location].”

Information at a glance:

  • Bride(s) & Groom(s) names

  • Date

  • Ceremony rehearsal time

  • Ceremony rehearsal location

  • “Dinner to follow at……”

  • Rehearsal dinner time

  • Rehearsal dinner location

Who should pay for the rehearsal dinner?

The cost of the rehearsal dinner typically will fall on the host. This varies on a case by case basis depending on financial situations. Some hosts may ask you to pay for a portion of the rehearsal dinner. If you cannot afford to fund any portion of the party, let the host know, and suggest a more casual or smaller rehearsal dinner to accommodate their budget! Much like the actual wedding, budget isn’t what defines the day. The most important aspect is celebrating your love while surrounded by the people who mean the most to you and your fiance! (See the end of blog for full example budget breakdowns.)

Where should the rehearsal dinner be hosted?

The rehearsal dinner can be hosted in any location, it will just depend on the size of the guest list, access to space, and budget. While the event can be as formal or informal as the host would like, they are usually hosted at a restaurant near the wedding venue. Choosing a private room in a restaurant can often be less expensive since so much will be included (i.e. in house catering, tables, chairs, flatware, plates, napkins, drinkware, bar, centerpieces, etc.) If a restaurant is not in the budget, a casual backyard get together is not out of the norm!

Pro-tip #4: Since the ceremony rehearsal usually takes place at the ceremony venue, it is most convenient for guests if rehearsal dinner is held at a restaurant or other location nearby. 

What should we do at the rehearsal dinner?

Eat, drink, and socialize! The rehearsal is a great opportunity to distribute gifts to the bridal party and family. It is also the perfect time to allow bridal party members who will not be giving toasts at the wedding to give a quick speech!

Is a full meal expected at the rehearsal dinner?

YES! This does not mean you have to include one, but if you do not plan to serve a full dinner, communicate that with your guests so they can plan accordingly.

Rehearsals are typically a nicer meal, but that doesn’t mean yours has to be! A backyard BBQ or quick pizza party is completely acceptable! If the host wants to go all out and provide a full 5 course, sit down dinner, that is fine, too. As long as they are paying for it, and you are comfortable with it, there are no right or wrong answers as to what should be served.

What should be included in the budget?

This completely depends on what the budget allows for and what the host chooses to include! Below are some typical things to consider budgeting for:

  • Venue

  • Catering

  • Tables, chairs, plates, cups, flatware, napkins, etc. 

  • Bar

  • Cake/dessert

  • Invitations

  • Decor

  • Miscellaneous 

Of course there are endless approaches to maximize any budget! Below are 3 example budgets for rehearsal dinners.

Example 1 (the “bells and whistles” example)- overall budget $9k

40 guests, 2.5 hour party

Party Planner- $850

Venue- Nice Restaurant (includes tables, chairs, plates, flatware, cups, and food)- @ $100/person = $4,000

Bar (through venue- beer, wine, & top shelf liquor)- @ $30/person = $1,200

Photographer- $500

Music/entertainment (Live guitarist & singer)- $600

Cake from speciality bakery (2 tier 6” base, 4” top tier)- $450

Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$5/household = $90

Decor- $1,300

1 large balloon display $200

Florist (garland runners for tables & 2 accent pieces)- $1,000

Signage (welcome sign, seating chart, place cards, etc.)- $150

TOTAL: $8,995

Example 2 (the “mid range” example)- overall budget $2k

40 guests, 2.5 hour party

Venue- mid range restaurant (includes tables, chairs, plates, flatware, cups, and food)- @ $30/person = $1,200

Bar (through venue- beer & wine only)- @ $15/person = $600

Music/entertainment (restaurant music)- FREE

Dessert provided by restaurant, included in per person cost- NO EXTRA FEE

Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$2/household = $60

Decor- $65

DIY Trader Joe’s flowers 4 bushels @ $5/each- $20

Dollar tree vases, 5 @ $1/each = $5

Signage (enlarged poster of engagement pic, printed at Costco)- $40

TOTAL: $1,922

Example 3 (the “ballin’ on a budget” example)- overall budget $350

40 guests, 2.5 hour party

Venue (backyard) - FREE

Catering (pizza party! 10 pizzas @ $13/each + tip)- $150

Tables & chairs (use friend’s folding tables & chairs, buy dollar tree table covers)- $10

Plates, plasticware, and drinkware (use disposable- comes with pizza)- FREE

Bar (6 cases of beer @$15/each)- $90

Music (make playlist and set up your own speaker)- FREE

Cake/dessert (single tier, local grocer)- $35

Invitations (Send out email or create Facebook event)- FREE

Decor- $50

DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 5 bushels @ $5/bushel = $25

Dollar store vases 1 per table @$1/each = $8

Candles & dollar tree candle votives (2 per table)- $2/each = $16

TOTAL: $335

As you can see, the third example can easily decrease in price by only offering BYOB, cutting out all decor, skipping dessert and/or ordering cheaper pizza. Basically this is all to say, no budget is too small!

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

Bridal Shower Planning Guide

A bridal shower is a great milestone in the wedding preparation journey for the bride to enjoy the company of friends and family before the wedding! The bridal shower is different from the bachelorette party in that it is typically shorter and a more “tame” gathering. Follow the guide below, or share it with the event host, for a smooth bridal shower planning experience!

A bridal shower is a great milestone in the wedding preparation journey for the bride to enjoy the company of friends and family before the wedding! The bridal shower is different from the bachelorette party in that it is typically shorter and a more “tame” gathering. Follow the guide below, or share it with the event host, for a smooth bridal shower planning experience!

Why have a bridal shower-

A bridal shower is a party where friends and family gather to shower the bride with gifts! Much like a baby shower functions as a chance to prepare an expecting mother for a life transition, the bridal shower is meant to provide the bride with gifts that will help prepare her for the upcoming life changes that marriage will bring. While the primary function of this event is to dote upon the bride, it is also a fun opportunity to play games, introduce friends from different walks of life, and build memories!

When should the bridal shower be?

Bridal showers typically occur in the final few months, or even weeks, before the wedding. It is best to schedule this just before the final stages of planning take up all of the bride’s free time! Scheduling this party 30-45 days prior to the wedding is ideal!

The bridal shower will typically occur during daylight hours as opposed to being a nighttime event. 

Example bridal shower planning timeline-

3 months prior to wedding- 

Set a budget for the bridal shower

Create a guest list for the bridal shower

Gather addresses or email addresses of the guests

Decide on the general “feel” for the bridal shower (formal, casual, something in between?)

Find a venue to host the shower

2 months prior to wedding-

Plan the food and drink menus

Send out invitations to bridal shower

Find decor for bridal shower

Select attire for bridal shower

Book any necessary vendors

Plan activities for the bridal shower

1 month prior to wedding-

Purchase bar and food materials

Purchase flowers & decor

Host bridal shower

Who hosts the bridal shower?

More often than not the bridesmaids, bride or groom’s mother, or another close friend or family member will host the bridal shower. It is uncommon for the bride to host this event for herself since the primary function is to shower the bride with gifts.

How should I invite people?

As always, there are no set rules. Sending formal invitations by mail is great if you have the time and budget, but not necessary by any means! For bridal showers, it is a more recent trend to create a cute virtual invite that is distributed via email. This bridges the gap between official invitations and something that requires less effort. This also provides the opportunity to link a registry directly on the invitation so guests can conveniently click the link and purchase a gift!

Who should be invited?

The etiquette guru, Miss Manners, says you can only invite people who are invited to the wedding and I have to agree with her on this one. Unlike the engagement or bachelorette party, the bridal shower’s main purpose is for people to bring you gifts. Inviting someone to give the bride a gift, but not the wedding is a bit rude.

Traditionally this is a women only event, but this is changing more and more everyday. The invites can be extended to all the womyn invited to the wedding who are particularly close friends with the bride. The best rule of thumb is to limit the guest list to only the bride’s closest family and friends. Remember, the bride’s family is growing with the wedding! It is completely normal and acceptable to invite people from the groom’s side of the family if the relationship allows!

Here is a general outline of who is typically invited:

  • The bridesmaids

  • The womyn the bride is close with in her immediate families 

  • The womyn the bride is close with in her extended families

  • Close friends in the area who are also invited to the wedding. This isn’t an event that people would typically travel for, so if you have close friends in the area add them to the list!

Pro-tip #1: If you invite some immediate or extended family, you DO NOT have to invite them all. Invite whoever makes sense in the bride’s unique situation.

Pro-tip #2: The groom doesn’t usually attend the bridal shower. He often will make an appearance at some point, but typically doesn’t stay for the duration of the party.

What information should the invitations include?

As always, names, date, location, and time will need to be included on the invitation. The host should also specify what kind of refreshments can be expected (appetizers only, full dinner, hosted bar, BYOB, no alcohol, etc.). Depending on what kind of theme you are going with, the headline on the invitation can communicate this information. For example, “Brunch and Bubbly Bridal Shower” or “I Do BBQ.”

Guests are expected to bring gifts, so be sure to include the bride’s wedding registry on the invitation.

Who should pay for the bridal shower?

The cost of the bridal shower typically will fall on the hostess(es). This can vary on a case by case basis depending on financial situations. The bride is never expected to pay for any portion of the bridal shower, though, on very rare occasions may be asked to contribute on certain items. For example, if the person hosting the event does not personally drink alcohol and doesn’t feel comfortable paying for it for guests, the bride may be asked to provide the alcohol. Typically the host would ask someone else close to the bride before coming to the bride with this request, though. Much like the actual wedding, budget isn’t what defines the day. The most important aspect is celebrating your love while surrounded by the people who mean the most to you! (See the end of blog for full example budget breakdowns.)

Where should the bridal shower be hosted?

The bridal shower can be hosted in any venue, it will just depend on the size of the guest list and access to space. While the event can be as formal or informal as the hostess(es) would like, the shower is often thrown in the maid of honor or a family member’s home or backyard. If the hostess(es) does not have space, or just isn’t into the idea of having this kind of gathering in their personal space, a restaurant or smaller venue is always an option! Since this event doesn’t typically include a full meal, choosing to host at a venue might add unnecessary cost.

The bridal shower is usually thrown in the city that the hostess(es) is local to. This may not be the city the bride lives in, so she will need to travel to party. This isn’t typically an event people besides the bride would travel for, so potential guests living outside of the hostess(es) city may not make sense to invite. That is okay! Communicate with those friends and family so they understand why they aren’t receiving an invitation!

What should we do at the bridal shower?

Opening the presents is the primary activity of a bridal shower. Typically around ⅔ of the way through the party everyone will gather around the bride as she opens gifts. Since dinner isn’t usually provided, a few other activities will take place to keep guests entertained and engaged. Since the guests are generously offering gifts to the bride, the groom will often make a quick appearance to say hello and thank everyone. During his appearance, there are several games to play that will include him! Some ideas include the shoe game, a Q & A with the bride(s) and groom(s), or a date night guessing game! For a full list of ideas, click here to visit our Pinterest page! No matter what kind of activities are planned, it is always nice if the guest of honor can make a quick thank you speech. The bridesmaids and/or the bride’s family have typically offered a lot of support leading up to this point aside from hosting the shower and it is always nice for the bride to show her appreciation!

Example bridal shower timeline

  • 1pm- Guests arrive. Everyone mingles, make appetizer plates, grabs their drinks, and makes anonymous date night suggestion.

  • 1:30pm- Game 1: “Guess the Dress” game

  • 1:45pm- Host reminds everyone to enter ideas into the anonymous date night suggestions

  • 1:45pm- Toasts from mother of the groom, mother of the bride, grandma, and bridesmaid who won’t give a toast at the wedding

  • 2pm- Slide show of friends/family pictures viewing

  • 2:15pm- Game 2: Bride reads anonymous date night suggestions aloud and guesses who made each suggestion

  • 2:45pm- Groom arrives, says hello

  • 3pm- Game 3: Shoe game with Groom

  • 3:15pm- Groom leaves

  • 3:15pm- Bride opens presents (maid of honor tracks gifts for thank you notes)

  • 3:45pm- Group picture

  • 4pm- Bridal shower concludes

Is a full dinner expected at the bridal shower?

Everyone appreciates a nice full meal, but it isn’t expected nor is it the norm at bridal showers. Just be sure the hostess(es) specifies either way on the invitation so guests can plan accordingly!

Typically light refreshments are offered. Some ideas include a cheese board, fruit/veggie platters, chips and dips, cupcakes, cookies, or anything else that is easy to grab and snack on. If you want something cost effective, but a little more filling consider thinly sliced pizzas, pasta salads, hamburger sliders, or even mini tacos! For beverages, a few common trends are mimosa bars, pre-batched cocktails or mocktails, wine and/or wine spritzers, or build your own Bloody Mary bars. For a list of food and beverage ideas and display inspiration click here!

What should be included in the budget?

This completely depends on what the hostess(es) chooses to include! Below are some typical things to consider budgeting for:

  • Catering/food

  • Tables, chairs, plates, cups, flatware, napkins, etc. 

  • Bar/drinks

  • Cake/dessert

  • Invitations

  • Decor

  • Miscellaneous 

Of course there are endless approaches to maximize any budget! Below are 3 example budgets for Bridal showers.

Example 1 (the “bells and whistles” example)- overall budget $9k

40 guests, 3 hour party

  • Party Planner- $850

  • Venue (mother of the bride’s backyard)- FREE

  • Caterer (Cheese/fruit grazing board)- $2k

  • Bar (mimosa & bloody mary bar w/ bartender)- @ $15/person = $600

  • Cake from speciality bakery (2 tier 6” base, 4” top tier)- $450

  • Cupcake and macaroon display- $200

  • Ice cream caddy & attendant- $200

  • Photographer- $500

  • Music/entertainment (Live guitarist & singer)- $625

  • Rentals- $500

    • 4 large floor tables (low the the ground)- $120

    • Festive carpeting to go below table- $150

    • Cushions for everyone to sit on- $120

    • 1 large wicker peacock chair- $50

    • Delivery- $60

  • Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$2/household = $70

  • Decor- $1,650

    • 2 large balloon displays @$200/arrangement = $400

    • 2 small balloon arrangements to accent bar and dessert table = $200

    • Florist (4 centerpieces & 4 small accent arrangements for signs & special tables)- $800

    • Signage (custom neon welcome sign, bar sign, cards and gifts sign etc.)- $250

  • Miscellaneous- $1,150

    • Photo booth (2 hrs)- $250

    • Party favors (ex. Spa goodie bags)- @$20/each = $800

    • Gift & activity table (sign, card box, etc.)- $100

TOTAL: $8,795

Example 2 (the “mid range backyard” example)- overall budget $1.2k

40 guests, 3 hour party

  • Venue (MOH backyard/patio/living room)- FREE

  • Veggie/fruit/easy apps- $200

  • Bar (DIY mimosa bar & pre batched cocktails)- $350

    • 1 pre batched cocktail (ex. Vodka/Grapefruit)

    • 2 handles of mid-range vodka @$40/handle = $80

    • Grapefruit juice $30

    • 1 case mid-range champagne @ $15/btl $180

    • Orange juice/guava/other juice $40

    • Ice for cocktails = $20

  • Cake (single tier cake from local grocer)- $35

  • Cupcake display (homemade)- $15

  • Rentals (tables, chairs)- $300

    • 4 tables & table cloths @$30/table = $120

    • 40 chairs @ $3/chair = $120

    • Delivery- $60

  • Music/entertainment (make your own playlist and play through your own speaker)- FREE

  • Invitations (Send out email with curated digital invite)- FREE

  • Decor- $50

    • DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 5 bushels @ $5/bushel = $25

    • Dollar store vases 1 per table @$1/each = $4

    • Candles & dollar tree candle votives (2 per table)- $2/each = $8

  • Miscellaneous- $250

    • Party favors (ex. Goodie bag)- @$5/each = $200

    • Gift table (sign, card box, etc.)- $50

TOTAL: $1,200


Example 3 (the “ballin’ on a budget” example)- overall budget $300

40 guests, 3 hour party

  • Venue (MOH backyard/patio/living room)- FREE

  • Veggie/fruit/pretzels/hummus/chips/dip- $50

  • Bar (DIY mimosa bar & pre batched cocktails)- $170

    • 1 pre batched cocktail (ex. Vodka/Grapefruit)

    • 2 handles of inexpensive vodka @$20/handle = $40

    • Grapefruit juice $30

    • 1 case inexpensive champagne @ $5/btl $60

    • Orange juice $20

    • Ice for cocktails $20

  • Tables/chairs (use MOH existing furniture) FREE

  • Disposable plates & napkins- $5

  • Cupcake & cookie display (homemade)- $25

  • Music/entertainment (make your own playlist and play through your own speaker)- FREE

  • Invitations (Send out email with curated digital invite)- FREE

  • Decor- $50

    • DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 3 bushels @ $5/bushel = $15

    • Amazon decor purchases $20

    • Print signs from computer FREE

TOTAL: $300

As you can see, the cost of the third example can easily decrease by skipping the alcohol, only offering BYOB, cutting out all decor, and/or skipping dessert. Basically this is all to say, no budget is too small!

Note: These numbers may seem intimidating. Usually, all of your bridesmaids will split the cost of these items. If you have 6 bridesmaids, the price per person is much more manageable. Also keep in mind, 40 guests for a bridal shower is on the larger side of average. Invite less people to get the cost down! 

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

Engagement Party Planning Guide

Congratulations on your engagement! Who wants to wait all the way to the wedding to celebrate? Great news; you don’t have to! An engagement party is typically hosted shortly after you say “YES!” This blog is a full guide to planning an engagement party.

Congratulations on your engagement! Who wants to wait all the way to the wedding to celebrate? Great news; you don’t have to! An engagement party is typically hosted shortly after you say “YES!” Below is a guide to planning an engagement party. While this guide can help you map out your engagement party, remember these are only suggestions. There are no set rules and you can do literally whatever you want.

Why have an engagement party?

An engagement party serves a few purposes. First and foremost, it is a celebration of your engagement! This is a time for your friends and family to come together and congratulate you in person. Second, it offers the opportunity to begin introducing your family and friend groups. A wedding merges two families (both birth and chosen family count!) and it makes the actual wedding that much more fun if a lot of the guests have already had a chance to meet! Third, who doesn’t love an excuse to gather your favorite people altogether at once?! 



Who hosts the engagement party?

The host of the engagement party is the person that will take on the bulk, if not all, of planning and costs. Traditionally the bride’s parents take on this task, but the host can be anyone, and completely depends on your situation. If the bride’s parents aren’t able to host- or if you have two grooms-, it can be the groom’s parents, other relatives, friends, coworkers, or even the engaged couple! The bridal party typically doesn’t take charge of this event, since they usually are in charge of the bachelor/bachelorette parties and bridal shower. 




When should the engagement party be?

Engagement parties typically occur in the first few months after becoming engaged. This is an opportunity to celebrate the upcoming commitment, without throwing an entire wedding! Aiming at the 3-month-post-engagement mark is an ideal time to host this event, because there is still a “buzz” around your engagement, but you won’t be buried by planning yet.


How should the host pace the engagement party planning?

Below is a sample planning timeline. This will vary depending on the time frame and budget the host has allotted.

  • 1 month after engagement- 

    • Decide on a budget for the engagement party

    • Decide on the general “feel” for your engagement party (formal, casual, something in between?)

    • Create a guest list for the engagement party & gather contact info

    • Find & book a venue to host the party

    • Select vendors based on what budget allows and the venue includes

  • 2 months after engagement-

    • Send out invitations to engagement party

    • Find decor for engagement party

    • Select attire for engagement party

    • Create a registry (this is something the couple will need to do!)

  • 3 months after engagement-

    • Host engagement party

Who should be invited?

Miss Manners says you can only invite people who are invited to the wedding. This is generally the polite thing to do, but with the culture of weddings shifting away from tradition you don’t necessarily need to stick to this guideline. If you find yourself in this situation, make it very clear to those guests that they won’t be invited to the wedding. A nice way to word this is: “Our wedding venue limits the amount of people we can invite, so we had to make some difficult decisions about the guest list! We would still love to celebrate with you, so it would mean a lot to have you at the engagement party!” There are a lot of other cutesy wording options floating around on Pinterest if you wanted to have something written on the invitation about this.

Here is a general outline of who is typically invited:

  1. Your bridal party (unless the event is being held in a city far from them)

  2. Your immediate families (if your relationship with them allows for this)

  3. Your extended families (if your relationship with them allows for this- NOTE: If you invite some immediate or extended family, you DO NOT have to invite them all. Invite whoever makes sense in your unique situation.)

  4. Let the host invite some bonus people. The host may have close friends/coworkers/etc. that hear about you all the time! Those people might love to join in the fun! If you are worried about this getting out of hand, give a few parameters for the bonus invitations. Give the host a certain number of their own guests to invite that you are comfortable having around during the engagement party. If you are worried about a particular person or people being invited, make it clear that you aren’t comfortable with those people being invited!

  5. Close friends in the area. This isn’t an event that people would typically travel for, so if you have close friends in the area add them to the list!

Pro-tip #1: If the host is attempting to plan a surprise engagement party or the couple wishes to not be involved in any element of planning, a member of the bridal party or other close friends can help form the guest list to include friends of the couple!

How should I invite people?

As always, there are no set rules. Sending formal invitations by mail is great if you have the time and wiggle room in the budget, but necessary by any means! Many other wedding blogs and older generations would disagree strongly with this, though, so be prepared for a host coming from an older generation to find formal invitations necessary. Since the guest list is typically a fraction of the full guest list, invitations can easily be sent via email, Facebook, or even a quick text if the event is intimate enough!

No matter how you choose to spread word about the party, the invitations do not need to be as formal as the wedding invitations. These invitations also do not need to be a reflection of your wedding design in any way. You, or the host, can pick whatever aesthetic makes you all happy!

Pro-tip #2: If you and your host disagree on how invitations should be sent, choosing to mail more casual invitations with bright colors and fun fonts can be a good compromise!

Pro-tip #3: Take this one with a grain of salt, but… pick and choose your battles. There will probably be plenty of opinions coming your way about the wedding that you will need to navigate. If the host of this event feels really strongly about the invitations, this may not be the hill to die on. 


What information should the invitations include?

As always, names, date, location, time will need to be included on the invitation. The host should also specify what kind of refreshments can be expected (appetizers only, full dinner, hosted bar, BYOB, no alcohol, etc.) Guests often will bring gifts for the couple to an engagement party, so if possible, create your wedding registry beforehand! If you are planning on creating a wedding website and building your registry on that platform, you’ll need to create this beforehand. 

The engagement party host may also want to include their name and that is totally fine! People will often word the invites “The parents/aunt/cousin/friend/etc of X invite you to celebrate the engagement of their daughter/son/other to [Fiance name here].”

If you are including guests to the list for the engagement party who are not invited to the wedding you can let them know with the invitation. Explain the reasoning behind the lack of wedding invite, but let them know they are an important part of your life and you’d love the opportunity to celebrate with them!

Pro-tip #4: Wedding website platforms like Zola or The Knot allow you to build your registry before building your website. This allows you the opportunity to provide guests with a list of items you like, without having to create your full website.

Pro-tip #5: Even if you tell people you don’t want gifts, some will bring them anyway. It is always better to receive something you’d actually like, so including a website or registry is a great way to communicate this information.

Who should pay for the engagement party?

Again, the cost of the engagement party typically will fall on the host. This can vary on a case by case basis depending on financial situations. Some hosts may ask you to pay for a portion of the engagement party. If you cannot afford to fund any portion of the party, suggest a more casual or smaller engagement party to accommodate their budget! Much like the actual wedding, budget isn’t what defines the day. The most important aspect is celebrating your love while surrounded by the people who mean the most to you and your fiance! (See the end of blog for full example budget breakdowns.)




Where should the engagement party be hosted?

The engagement party can be hosted in any venue, it will just depend on the size of the guest list and access to space. While the event can be as formal or informal as the host would like, the engagement party is often thrown in the host's home or backyard. If this is not an option or the host doesn’t prefer to host in their home, a restaurant or smaller venue is not out of the norm! Choosing a private room in a restaurant can often be less expensive since so much will be included (i.e. in house catering, tables, chairs, flatware, plates, napkins, drink ware, bar, centerpieces, etc.) 

The engagement party is usually thrown in the city that the host is local to. This may not be the city you live in, so you will need to travel to them. If you find yourself in this situation, you may not be able to invite some of your friends or family that live in your area. That is okay! Communicate with those friends and family so they understand why they aren’t receiving an invitation!



What should we do at the engagement party?

Engagement party activities vary quite a bit from event to event. If you want guests to simply mingle freely throughout the party, go for it! There are a lot of great activities that can be prepared, as well. Lawn games can be set up for guests, a “how well do you know the couple?” quiz that can be played as a group, a guest book can be set out, or any other number of things can be prepared to entertain guests. If you are looking for ideas, be sure to check out our Pinterest board for inspiration

The engagement party is also a great opportunity to allow guests to make toasts! Not everyone will get a chance to speak at the wedding, so having certain friends or family members make a toast at this smaller event is the perfect compromise! 

Keep in mind, while guests often bring gifts to the engagement party, the party isn’t about the gifts. Gift opening at an engagement party isn’t typical and can prove to be a little awkward for the guests who chose not to bring a present.



Is a full dinner expected at the engagement party?

Nope! Everyone appreciates a nice full meal, but it isn’t expected. Just be sure the host specifies either way on the invitation so guests can plan accordingly!

If the host is providing dinner, it doesn’t need to be fancy! A backyard BBQ is completely acceptable! If they want to go all out and have a full 5 course sit down dinner, that is fine, too. As long as they are paying for it, and you are comfortable with it, there are no right or wrong answers to what should be served.



What should be included in the budget?

As always, this completely depends on what the host chooses to include! Below are some typical things to consider budgeting for:

Venue

Catering

Tables, chairs, plates, drink ware, flatware, napkins, etc. 

Bar

Photographer

Music/entertainment

Cake/dessert

Invitations

Decor

Miscellaneous 



Of course there are endless approaches to maximize any budget! Below are 3 example budgets for engagement parties.



  • Example Budget #1 (the “bells and whistles” example)-

Overall budget $10k

75 guests, 4 hour party

Party Planner- $850

Venue (includes tables, chairs, plates, flatware, drinkware, and food)- @ $30/person = $2,250

Bar (through venue- beer, wine, & liquor)- @ $25/person = $1,875

Photographer- $500

Music/entertainment (Live guitarist & singer)- $625

Cake from speciality bakery (2 tier 6” base, 4” top tier)- $450

Dessert display (cupcakes, macaroons, & donuts)- $500

Invitations (mailed designer invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$10/household = $250

Decor- $2,000

2 large balloon displays @$200/arrangement = $400

Florist (8 centerpieces & 4 accent arrangements for signs and special tables)- $1,500

Signage (welcome sign, seating chart)- $100

Miscellaneous- $900

Photo booth (4 hrs)- $500

Party favors (ex. Personalized koozie & bottle openers)- $250

Gift table (sign, card box, etc.)- $100

Guest book/activity table- $50

TOTAL: $9,975




  • Example Budget #2 (the “mid range backyard” example)-

overall budget $2k

75 guests, 4 hour party

Venue (backyard)- FREE

Caterer (tacos @$5/person- includes paper plates and plasticware. Provide your own apps i.e veggie tray, DIY cheese board, etc. for additional $25)- $400

Bar (DIY alcohol, hire bartender, & physical bar)- $415

1 signature cocktail (ex. Lemon drop)

2 handles of middle shelf vodka @$40/handle = $80

Mixers/ingredients- $20

1 case of Trader Joe’s Charles Shaw wine (6 red & 6 white) = $40

1/4 keg of light domestic beer = $80

Ice for cocktails & beer tub = $30

1 bartender @20/hr = $80

Folding table w/ table cloth for bar = $30

Rentals (tables, chairs)- $525

8 tables & table cloths @$30/table = $240

75 chairs @ $3/chair = $225

Delivery @$60

Music/entertainment (DJ)- $400

Cake (single tier cake from local grocer)- $35

Invitations (Send out email or create Facebook event)- FREE

Decor- $50

DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 5 bushels @ $5/bushel = $25

Dollar store vases 1 per table @$1/each = $8

Candles & dollar tree candle votives (2 per table)- $2/each = $16

Miscellaneous- $200

Guest party favors (personalized Koozies)- $100

Gift table (sign, card box, etc.)- $50

TOTAL: $2,025








  • Example Budget #3 (the “ballin’ on a budget” example)-

overall budget $500

75 guests, 4 hour party

Venue (backyard) - FREE

Catering (potluck; guests bring a dish! ex. the host can provide hotdogs/hamburgers)- $100

Tables & chairs (use friend’s folding tables & chairs, buy dollar tree table covers)- $10

Plates, plasticware, and drinkware (use disposable)- $50

Bar (1 full domestic keg & BYOB)- $250

Music (make playlist and set up your own speaker)- FREE

Cake/dessert (make your own!)- $25

Invitations (Send out email or create Facebook event)- FREE

Decor- $50

DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 5 bushels @ $5/bushel = $25

Dollar store vases 1 per table @$1/each = $8

Candles & dollar tree candle votives (2 per table)- $2/each = $16

TOTAL: $485



As you can see, the third example can easily decrease in price by only offering BYOB, delegating the disposable plates, plasticware, and drink ware as a potluck item, cutting out all decor, and/or skipping dessert. Basically this is all to say, no budget is too small!

Final thoughts on engagement parties-

There is no specific way to throw an engagement party! No matter how the event comes together, it will be a beautiful day celebrating this incredible milestone in your relationship!

If you have any additional questions please feel free to drop a comment or send an email!

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

Save the Dates, Invitations, and a bit on RSVPs

Sending out Save the Dates and Invitations are SUCH fun parts of wedding planning. For so many people this is the first step that makes everything feel real. Soak in these vital steps, and feel confident you are doing it right by reading the information below!

Sending out Save the Dates and Invitations are SUCH fun parts of wedding planning. For so many people this is the first step that makes everything feel real. Soak in these vital steps, and feel confident you are doing it right by reading the information below!

Before reading on, here are two super useful tips!

Pro-tip #1: A common mistake people make is ordering for guest count instead of household.

Mistake: ordering 250 invitations for 250 guests

Pro planning: ordering 1 invitation per household (i.e average household 3 people/house: 250 divided by 3 = ~83 Save the Dates and invitations)

Pro-tip #2: Order extra! You may want to invite additional people and you will probably want one for keepsake. While you still don’t need to order one for every single guest, rounding up is always good in case you make new friends, have people drop out that you want to replace, or just want a few extra for your own (or parents, family, close friends, etc.) keepsake! Another huge pro to this- the big name stationary sites base their discounts on round numbers, so ordering 100 vs. 84 will end up being less expensive.

Mistake- Ordering 84 save the dates/invitations for ~83 households.

Pro planning: Ordering 100 save the dates/invitations for ~83 house holds.

Save the Dates

Save the Dates are a great way to mentally prepare your guests for your upcoming wedding. You might not have all the details like time, location, attire, meal plan, etc. hammered out, but a Save the Date will let guests know the most basic information about the wedding to plan for. While these are helpful with communicating this information to guests, they do add some cost to your wedding and aren’t necessary for every situation.

When are Save the Dates REALLY needed?

Save the Dates can be useful for every wedding, but you don’t HAVE to have them for any wedding. If you are tight on money, time, or simply just don’t want them you can skip them altogether. Save the Dates are most useful when planning either a destination wedding or when planning a wedding where most of your guests will be traveling. In a situation where guests will need to be traveling it is useful to let everyone know ahead of time. Save the Dates allow guests the opportunity to save money/sent money aside for travel and gifts, communicate with work, and plan for childcare (if necessary).

When should I send my Save the Dates out?

Save the Dates can be sent whenever you have solidified a date and location. You can technically send them before a venue is booked if you are 100% positive of the city and date the wedding will be held, but it is best to send them once the venue is booked. Couples will often fall in love with a venue that isn’t available on their desired date, so they change the date to accommodate the venue. If the date you have chosen means a lot to you and you are positive you will be selecting a venue based on the date and not the other way around, go ahead and send the Save the Dates!

If you are having a lot of out of town guests or planning a destination wedding Save the Dates ideally will be sent a full year in advance. If your wedding is more intimate and still requires a majority of guests to travel, Save the Dates should be sent in the 6-8 month prior range, if possible. If you are planning a more intimate wedding in a shorter time span it may be more efficient to skip the Save the Dates, touch base personally with guests to give them a heads up, and send invitations a little sooner than you would typically.

What is the latest I should send a Save the Date?

This, again, will vary depending on the situation. The absolute latest in any situation that you should send a Save the Date is 2 months out from the wedding (and this still only works for a really intimate wedding with short planning period). For a larger wedding this deadline should be by the 4 month mark. For a larger travel heavy wedding this deadline should be 5 months out. If you can’t make this deadline, skip the Save the Dates altogether and just send an invitation. Even for an intimate wedding, 2 months would be cutting it pretty close. Keep in mind, you will need to confirm with the venue and caterers the final headcount about a month prior to the wedding so you need to have time for people to receive their Save the Date and invitation and then RSVP.

What information should my Save the Dates include?

Save the Dates are just a quick, formal heads up to guests that you will be hosting a wedding on a particular date in a certain city. At minimum the Save the Date should include your names, date, and city. A lot of couples will build a wedding website and include that on the Save the Date as well. Even if the wedding website isn’t 100% completed (and frankly at this point it probably won’t be) providing the link will give guests a resource to check in to for more information as it is made available. If you have your venue locked in you can also include this in the Save the Date.

What should my Save the Dates look like?

Like everything else with a wedding, this completely depends on what you want. A common trend is for people to use a photo from their engagement session as the background of their Save the Date. Another common trend is for people to make their Save the Dates magnets so people can keep them on their fridge or somewhere convenient to find the information.

Invitations

What information should I include in my invitations?

Invitations should be a quick snapshot of all the vital information guests need to know in order to show up to the right place at the right time on the right day. They should include the who, what, when, where, and why of the day (not necessarily in that order). Include both the bride(s) and/or groom(s) names. If someone other than yourselves are paying for a chunk, the majority, or all of the wedding it is common to word your invitation: “X and X invite you to the wedding of their [son/daughter/other- name] to [fiance name here].” The name and address of the venue is vital. They will also need to know what time to arrive. If you have a wedding website you can include the website and let people know that they can RSVP and find more info there. If you don’t have a wedding website, you’ll need to include an RSVP card and pre-stamped envelope for guests to send back. You’ll also need to include a meal card if necessary, attire expectation (even if super casual, let them know!! No one wants to show up in a ball gown when everyone else is in sun dresses!), whether kids are invited or not, hotel block information (even if you don’t have a room block, they will need to know!), transportation accommodations, and information on events surrounding the wedding (pre-wedding welcome event, after wedding brunch etc.). Again, if you have a wedding website, you can list all of this info on the website and have your invite include just the very basics.

Pro-tip: directing guests to a wedding website for more info is a great option if possible. You can update information as plans evolve, include an FAQ page so guests can refer to this instead of having everyone individually reach out to you with questions, and, last but certainly not least, you can have your registry on your website so when guests visit to RSVP they can conveniently purchase a gift.

What should my invitations look like?

Again, the aesthetics of the invitations completely depend on your taste. If possible, it is ideal to have your invitations aesthetic inline with your wedding. Chose colors, shapes, and fonts that are relatively similar to those that will be at your wedding. This will help with a few things. First, this will give guests an idea of what to expect. It can set the tone of formality and give them an idea into color scheme. If you don’t want people to dress in the same colors as your bridal party or vice versa, let them know! Either way, invitations are a great ay to start communicating what those colors will be. Second, photographers love to capture your invitation as a prop on the wedding day. Having this match the overall aesthetic will create for some more cohesive pictures. Again, this is just a suggestion. It is your wedding and there are no rules; do literally whatever you want.

When should I send my invitations?

This will vary depending on a few factors. Some things to consider: when do you need to confirm numbers with the caterer and venue? How many people will be traveling for your wedding? How many people are you inviting (the more people you invite, the more people you will need to track down to confirm RSVP status!!)? For reference, for an average wedding of 150 guests with 33% traveling domestically, you should send the invitations out 2.5 months prior to the wedding, with the RSVP date 1-1.5 months prior to the wedding depending on catering and venue requirements.

When should I have guests RSVP by?

For your own sake, it is best to set the RSVP date at least 1 month prior to your date. Guest count will alter your seat/table count, plate count, party favor count, etc. Never have I ever been a part of a wedding of any size where 100% of the guests RSVP on time on their own without a nudge. Giving yourself some extra time will help alleviate some of the planning that just can’t be done until the final headcount is in. While a month is the minimum, I highly recommend giving yourself at least 1.5 months so you have a full 2 weeks to track people down and get all RSVPs. If you are having a wedding with over 250 guests, give yourself a full 2 months. Even if you are having a wedding of 1,000 don’t give yourself more than 2 months, though. Expectedly, things happen in our guests lives and anything longer than 2 months will allow for too many unforeseeable variables in guests lives and you’ll have to do a lot of adjusting as people’s plans change.

Some great resources to purchase your Save the Dates and/or invitations

There are plenty of boutique vendors that can create incredible custom pieces for you. Everyone will have a different niche aesthetic. If you are looking for something on the less niche and more affordable end check out the following:

www.vistaprint.com

Why I love them- you can really create whatever look you are going for. There are some preset templates you can use if you are ~creatively challenged~ or you can fully customize your own cards if you’re into DIYing the design. Their prints are consistent and good quality. Another huge plus, they are CHEAP.

Pro-tip- Google discount codes before ordering! They are almost ALWAYS running a special. If you can’t find one, create an account BEFORE creating your cards. Save your design and then sit back and wait. Within a week they will email you a discount code.

www.minted.com

Why I love them- Their designs are lovely, their prints are consistent, and they give my clients a discount. Use my code: WEDPLLA for 35% off Save the Dates and 25% off all wedding things.

www.basicinvite.com

Why I love them- My very favorite thing about this site is they offer clear invitations for about $1 each. The next least expensive clear option I have found is $8/each. The price is unbeatable. They offer plenty of other designs or fully customizable blank slate options as well. The prints are consistent and good quality. They allow you to fully customize the invitations and Save the Dates.

Pro-tip- look for discount codes! They aren’t as common as Vistaprint discount codes, but their prices are already lower so it balances out. It is still worth looking for a code though!

Have additional questions? Feel free to reach out via email! theweddingplannerla@gmail.com

As always, happy planning!!

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

10 Ways to Stay Organized While Wedding Planning

Staying organized is key when it comes to wedding planning! While this may come more naturally for some than others, getting an early start to organization will help everyone equally. If you have found yourself already knee deep in wedding planning with no real organization plan, don’t fret! It is never too late to get on top of organization! Here are 10 great ways to get and stay organized throughout wedding planning!

Staying organized is key when it comes to wedding planning! While this may come more naturally for some than others, getting an early start to organization will help everyone equally. If you have found yourself already knee deep in wedding planning with no real organization plan, don’t fret! It is never too late to get on top of organization! Here are 10 great ways to get and stay organized throughout wedding planning!

  1. Create a wedding email and check it often.

    Having an email specific to your wedding is helpful for two main reasons. First, this will help keep all of your wedding related emails organized and in one place. Second, once the wedding is over, this will save you from having promotional emails sent from vendors crowding your regular email’s inbox! Having a separate email will only work if you check it often, though!

  2. Keep all of your wedding information in one spot.

    There are many ways to go about this. I have come across some amazing hard copy wedding planning journal style books, however, I highly recommend going digital. This allows you to easily edit or add information as your planning evolves. I personally love Google Docs for this. With this platform it is simple to keep your information organized, the documents are easy to send out if you need to share any of the information, you can save all of your contracts into your Google Doc wedding folder, and you can invite your fiancé, bridal party, parents, planner, or whoever else to edit relevant documents (think: to-do lists!!). No matter what platform you choose, it is immensely helpful to keep everything together in one space!

  3. Make a planning timeline.

    Map out the days/months/years that you have to plan your wedding and then breakdown your vendor searches and planning process into smaller more manageable timeframes. Take into consideration what will be going on in your personal life during this time, and plan your planning around that! Mapping out your “plan of attack” for wedding planning will help you feel confident you are making progress, help you stay on top of your to-do list, and (hopefully) make the whole wedding planning process more fun!! Click here for more on creating a planning timeline.

  4. Create a budget outline.

    I may be a little budget obsessed, but it is for good reason! Budget is important! Not-so-fun fact: I once had a friend blow their budget by $60k. That was 200% their initial budget. So how did that happen? The budget wasn’t being tracked and it wasn’t accurately assessed before vendors started being booked. Avoid this situation by creating a full budget breakdown BEFORE booking any vendors. Do some research to make sure your estimates are accurate and allocate money to the things you value most. This will guide every single aspect of your wedding planning, so it is important to get a head start on this early on! Make sure that you stay within budget (or consciously decide to extend the budget) by carefully tracking every expenditure. If you have multiple people funding the wedding, track who paid what, when and using which method. This will be important not only for tracking your budget, but also for tracking what outstanding balances you still have coming. Click here for more on creating a budget outline.

  5. Create a Pinterest board(s).

    Wedding planning in the days of Pinterest has been a joy. There is a world of inspiration out there just waiting for you to tap into it. While scrolling through the millions of inspiration pictures your vision may change and that is okay! As your vision shifts, take away pins that are no longer inspiring to you. If you like something about a picture, make a note of what it is specifically that makes you want to incorporate this into your wedding. Pinterest boards are great to share with your wedding planner, florist, decorator, hair and makeup team, and baker, so keep is up to date and organized! Pro-tip: bare budget in mind when looking through Pinterest. Pinterest doesn’t filter for price, and it can be painful to fall in love with a dress or floral arrangement. That being said, just because something looks super expensive doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be. If you really love something, look into it! Maybe it is more attainable than you initially thought! Visit The Wedding Planner LA Pinterest page for inspiration!

  6. Keep a running list of booked vendors.

    Have your basic vendor info all on one page so you can find the necessary info at a glance instead of shuffling through contracts. You can format this however works best for you, but it is super useful to include the following information for each vendor all compiled in one document:

    1. Service being provided

    2. Company name

    3. Contact person name

    4. Contact person email & phone number

    5. Number of hours booked (start and end time as soon as known!)

    6. Remaining balance, payment due date(s), and preferred payment method

    7. If they require a vendor meal & dietary restrictions if applicable (usually this will be your planner/coordination team, photographer, videographer, DJ/Musician, and anyone else onsite for longer than 5 hours).

    8. Instagram handle

  7. Make lists.

    Lists are your friend. List out everything. Your big to-do list, smaller to-do list, wedding vendor research information, style inspiration, etc. Lists are great because you can track your progress and remember all of the little details that you have been or intend to work on.

  8. Build a wedding website.

    This will save you SO. MUCH. WORK. A wedding website will do a lot of organizing for you. Have your registry on the website to easily track gifts. You can even track who you have already sent thank you cards to! Have guests RSVP on the website to easily track those. Provide useful information and updates about the wedding so you don’t have 50 guests calling to ask the same question. A wedding website is an incredibly useful tool

  9. Send thank you cards as you receive gifts.

    Speaking of your registry and thank you cards, stay organized and save yourself a lot of time by writing thank you cards as you receive gifts. It is easier to track this if you have a wedding website, but even if you are going a less techy route, be sure to list the gifts you have received, immediately send a thank you, and track the thank you’s once you have sent them. Pro-tip: Trying to write 100 thank you’s at once is daunting and tiresome. Sending thank you’s as gifts come in will allow you the time to write a thoughtful response.

  10. Create a seating chart.

    First, let me say, creating a draft of this is helpful if you find yourself randomly with a few extra hours in a day, but you cannot finalize your seating chart until you get your RSVPs back. Second, this topic deserves its own blog. Check back for that one soon! In the meantime, here are two very vague reasons why a seating chart is useful:

    1. Food service. If you are doing plated dinner, you need people committed to a seat so that they can have the meal they were intended. If you are doing food buffet style you need everyone evenly distributed so when table 1 is called there is a predictable amount of people coming over for the catering staff. If you are doing family style, you need to know exactly how many people will be at each table in order to distribute food properly.

    2. Think back to your days of eating lunch at your high school cafeteria. It’s the first day of school and everyone is figuring out who to sit with. There are large groups of people who all love each other and want to sit together so 20 of them crowd around one lunch bench. There are five kids who are kind of friends with some of those people and they want to hang out with them, but they don’t see room for themselves. They scatter and feel a little hurt they weren’t specifically invited to the big table. There is the kid who doesn’t really know anyone so they sit off by themselves in a corner and don’t socialize with anyone. There is also everyone in between. Get ahead of the drama by assigning seats. It will make everyones life easier in the long run

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

Select Your Vendors Like a Pro

Selecting vendors can be a daunting task. There are SO many options out there so how can you be sure you are making a good choice? It is challenging selecting vendors that fit in your budget or are worth stretching the budget for! There are a few specific steps I take when sifting through and vetting vendors before sending them to my clients. Follow these steps and you’ll be picking vendors like a pro!

Selecting vendors can be a daunting task. There are SO many options out there so how can you be sure you are making a good choice? It is challenging selecting vendors that fit in your budget or are worth stretching the budget for! There are a few specific steps I take when sifting through and vetting vendors before sending them to my clients. Follow these steps and you’ll be picking vendors like a pro!

***Before you get going on vendor research, I highly recommend making a full budget!! Making a full, realistic budget will help guide your vendor selection. See my full budget guide here***

Decide on a general vision for each specific vendor-

Before diving into the deep end of vendor research, have an idea of what you are after. A few things to shape this vision: budget, what you hope to get out of your contract with this vendor (i.e. how many hours, how many assistants, etc.), what “style” do you want (i.e. what kind of venue do you want, what style of photography do you like, what kind of food do you want, etc.).

  1. Venue- indoor, outdoor, mix of both, beach, woods, mountains, all inclusive, DIY, somewhere in between, how late do you want to be there into the evening, will they be hosting other events in the space that day, will they take care of trash removal, do they provide restrooms, power, or any other basic amenities, do they provide tables, chairs, an arbor, a bar space,etc.? For reference, a wedding with 100 guests at a venue that provides only power and restrooms will cost about $7k in rentals, if you go with the most basic rental options. This should absolutely be factored in to your overall cost when selecting a venue.

  2. Wedding Planner- do you want to be involved in wedding planning or do you want to think about it as little as possible? You will spend a lot of time with your wedding planner and your wedding planner needs to be able to see YOUR vision in order to create your special day. Make sure that this is someone you are ready and excited to spend time with!

  3. Photographer- do you want light and airy, dark and moody, true to color, posed photos, raw emotions, or a mix, how many hours will you need them, do you need 2 photographers or will one suffice (2 are recommended for larger guest counts and spread out venues), do you want an engagement shoot, how many photos are you hoping to get back? Ask to see a full wedding album instead of just the highlights!

  4. Videographer- what do you want included in the video? Montage of key events throughout the day, full vows, speeches, and special dances, or a combo of the above? Be sure to look through several examples so you have a clear idea of what your edit will include.

  5. Caterer- what kind of food do you want, how will it be served, will they provide apps as well, do they offer plates, cups, and flatware rentals, how experienced are they with larger events, do they provide bussers?

  6. DJ/Musician- will they make announcements for you throughout the event, how many sound systems will they bring (you will need 2-3 for most venues if you are doing ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception in different spaces), will they allow you to provide song requests, do they have experience playing to a crowd, can they provide a microphone for the ceremony and reception, how active are they on the mic? HINT: A sound system is the full set up which will include a set of speakers (1-2 speakers for ceremony cocktail hour, 2+ speakers for dinner/dancing), microphone (confirm this with your DJ! Some charge extra), amp, mixer, music device (usually a laptop), and dance floor lighting (where appropriate).

  7. Bar- do you need a full service bar, or would you like to build your own bar and hire just the bartenders? Will your venue allow you to DIY the bar? If you are DIYing the bar, will you ned to rent the physical bar? Are you bartenders licensed?

  8. Florist- do you want more “traditional” bouquets and centerpieces or would you like something else? Are you looking for other decor rental? A lot of florists also offer vases, candles, and other decor to add to your order. Be sure to look through their portfolios! If you have a go-to florist you typically use, but are looking for a different style, show them some examples of what you would like and see if it is something they have experience with or feel comfortable doing. A lot of florists will do special designs that are outside of their norm but not show examples of this work on their Instagram or website because it isn’t “on brand.”

  9. Dessert- what kind of dessert do you want, how do you want your cake to look, how many tiers do you wants the cake to have, will they deliver or do your desserts need to be picked up?

  10. Hair and makeup- up-do, hair down, braiding, something in between, heavy contour makeup, natural look, something in between? Be sure to look through portfolios and ask for a trial run day! Trial runs are very important! Not just to make sure you like the styles they come up with but also to see how long your hair and makeup are holding up throughout the day.

  11. Rentals- does the company offer unique pieces that will work with your venue, are the rates competitive with other comparable companies in your area, what will they charge for delivery, do they offer same day delivery and pick up, can they extend delivery and pick up is necessary?

Do your own research-

Recommendations from friends or professionals are a great place to start, but doing your own research to make sure they are a good fit for you is vital. Just because a friend or professional has had a good experience with someone, doesn’t mean they are going to be a great fit for you! Friends of friends may offer discounts, but if these people are not professionals then you may be wasting $400 instead of feeling good about spending $800. Ask to see pictures or videos of these “friendors” in action! If they do this professionally on the side, ask for a website or review site link! I’ve seen plenty of vendors that recommend other vendors that they haven’t worked with for a long time. Business quality can change overtime so it is important to confirm the recommended company is still worth your while!

Diversify your Research sources-

Conduct research from a few different angles. A quick google search might not yield the kind of options that you are looking for. WeddingWire, The Knot, Thumbtack, Facebook wedding groups, and sites like these will give you more diverse vendor options! Depending on the type of vendor you are looking for search on Instagram, too!

Always cross reference reviews-

Reviews can vary from platform to platform so it is important to cross reference and be sure that you are getting the most recent takes on the company. Some insight into review companies: anyone can leave a company reviews on Google so companies may ask their friends to leave reviews to raise their overall rating. WeddingWire is similar, but it is more challenging to leave a review on, so friends are less likely to pad the reviews for vendors. Yelp has an algorithm that is meant to weed out “fake” reviews, but a lot of real reviews are taken down in the process (there are also a lot of theories on their marketing approach that can also affect the reviews that show). Be sure to scroll down on the Yelp pages to the “unrecommended” section to read reviews that aren’t weighted in overall.

Read reviews with a different perspective-

Even if you like the quote a company sends and they have five stars across review platforms, be sure to read the reviews and look for consistencies. For example, if I’m looking for DJ/MCs and I see a lot of five star reviews saying how the MC "is really active on the mic,” I’m not going to send that company to a couple who really just wants music and a few key announcements.

Schedule phone or in-person meetings before booking-

It is important to feel comfortable on your wedding day and your vendors a huge part of your comfort! You will spend so much time with certain vendors on your actual wedding day, and even the ones that you won’t, they will still interact with guests! If you have a vendor that runs a little high strung, they may create unnecessary anxiety on your special day. A great way to accommodate this is to make sure your personalities mesh beforehand!

Read through your contracts very, very closely-

This is a legally binding document that should protect you as well as the vendor. Make sure that there is fine print written in about what will happen in the event of cancelation (on either the couple AND vendors part). Numbers and dates should be firm (I.e. by what date will you get sneak peek pics back, when can you expect the full album back, how many photos can you expect back, etc. These examples are specific to photos, but all contracts should be quantitative and clear. This does not apply when booking a wedding planner if you don’t already have a venue secured). A contract that doesn’t protect you is definitely a red flag!! If you find any of these issues and bring them up to a vendor and they are unwilling to adjust the contract to protect you, that is a major red flag and a good sign that you should continue your search!

Other notable tips:

  1. A vendor’s experience doesn’t necessarily chalk up to quality of service! Just because someone hasn’t been working weddings specifically for a long time doesn’t mean they should be immediately counted out. If you like their style, food, etc., they are well informed on the effort that weddings take, and they are ready to do what it takes to do an awesome job on your wedding they are still worth considering. If you unsure about them, ask your wedding planner or coordinator! They may be able to offer valuable insight to make sure you are making the best decisions for your wedding!

  2. Break up your search into several days. It is easy to get burnt out on sifting through vendors. Packages start to run together, things that would normally stick out become easy to overlook, and the whole experience may become less enjoyable.

  3. Be thorough! Don’t settle! You can find the perfect vendor out there for you!

Be sure to check out my preferred vendors list to kick start your search!

Useful links:

Budget planning tips: https://www.theweddingplannerla.com/blog/wedding-budgeting-the-first-step-to-planning

My preferred vendors: https://www.theweddingplannerla.com/resources

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

Day of Decor/Photo Op Props Checklist

As you think through your wedding day and are organizing the pieces you have bought or rented, work through this list to make sure you have accounted for everything! Remember, every wedding is unique and you may not want to incorporate some of these pieces. If you don’t want some piece, don’t force it just because it is on this list! If you have planned for other pieces, feel free to copy and paste this then add in your own specific bullet points.

As you think through your wedding day and are organizing the pieces you have bought or rented, work through this list to make sure you have accounted for everything! This will be particularly helpful as you are in those final stages and packing everything up to be moved to the venue! Remember, every wedding is unique and you may not want to incorporate some of these pieces. If you don’t want some piece, don’t force it just because it is on this list! If you have planned for other pieces, feel free to copy and paste this then add in your own specific bullet points.

Getting Ready Space:

  • Food

  • Something to serve food on

  • Plates

  • Napkins

  • Drinks

  • Something to serve drinks from

  • Something to drink drinks from

  • Signage

  • Invitation/Save the Dates (for pictures)

  • Speakers to play music from

  • Phone or other device to play music from (pro tip: if you are getting ready in a place that won’t have wifi or cell reception download your playlist ahead of time!)

  • Special hanger for dress

  • Something to wear while getting ready

Ceremony:

  • Altar flowers

  • Altar Floor decor

  • Aisle decor

  • Ceremony programs

  • Table for special ceremonies (i.e. sand ceremony, glass ceremony, wine ceremony, etc.)

  • Decor for special ceremony table

  • Signs (welcome, unplugged ceremony signs, etc.)

  • Easel for signs

Cocktail Hour:

Gift table

  • Linen

  • Sign for gift table

  • Card box

  • Guest book

  • Pen(s) for guest book

  • Something to hold pens

  • Decor for gift table

  • Flowers for gift table

Appetizer table

  • Linen

  • Signs/labels for apps

  • Serving utensils for apps

  • Plates

  • Forks

  • Napkins

Self service drink station table

  • Linen

  • Drink dispenser

  • Labels for beverages

  • Cups

Bar

  • Bar menu

  • Flowers

Reception Area:

Seating chart

  • Easel for seating chart

  • Flowers to dress up easel

Place card table

  • Linen

  • Place cards

  • Sign for place cards

  • Flowers

  • Other decor

Cake/dessert table

  • Linen

  • Display for cake

  • Cake topper

  • Serving set of cake knife and server

  • Plates for cake

  • Forks for cake

  • Napkins

  • Cake stand(s)

  • Other display items for other desserts

  • Other decor

  • Flowers

Sweetheart table

  • Linen

  • Special plates

  • Special cups

  • Flatware

  • Napkins

  • Flowers for the top of table

  • Other decor for top of table

  • Flowers for front of table

  • Other decor for front of table

Guest tables

  • Linen

  • Flowers

  • Candles

  • Table number

  • Table number stands

  • Other decor/personal touches

  • Plates

  • Flatware

  • Drinkware

  • Napkins

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

What Information to Share With a Wedding Coordinator

A good coordinator is going to take care of the details and make sure that all of your hard work is brought together just the way you wanted it. In order to do this, though, there has to be ample communication between you and the coordinator leading up to the day of your wedding. You may find yourself asking “what kind of information should I share?” I have forms on my website that guide my couples and streamline the sharing process, but if you aren’t one of my clients this guide should help with this important piece of planning!

A wedding coordinator is immensely valuable. You are essentially investing in your peace of mind on the day of your wedding. With adequate prep, a great coordinator will walk into your wedding day ready to take care of the details and make sure that all of your hard work is brought together just the way you wanted it. In order to do this, though, there has to be ample communication between you and the coordinator leading up to the day of your wedding. Prior to your wedding good coordinator is going to work with you in the weeks leading up to your special day to thoroughly discuss your plans, vendor contracts, and vision to help you catch any missing details, find solutions to potential issues, and make informed suggestions on how to create the best flow possible for your wedding day. A coordinator will do their absolute best work when all necessary information is communicated!

What to share with your coordinator:

  1. ALL vendor information- If you have booked a vendor because you are getting married, your wedding coordinator needs their information! Send each vendor’s company name, service they are providing, contact person’s name, email address, phone number, and contracted start and end times. Sharing this information will take a ton of pressure off you immediately. Instead of turning to you to fill in arrival time, start time, and strike time of all vendors, the coordinator can begin communicating directly with the vendors. Once the coordinator reaches out, those vendors begin to ask them logistical questions instead of you! As a coordinator, I prefer to have every vendor’s contract. Your coordinator may not necessarily need each one, but it is always best to have them on hand in case anything comes up before or during your wedding so that they can easily find information without having to bother you for basic information.

  2. Order lists from vendors- If you have rentals, florals, food, or anything else being dropped off by vendors make sure the coordinator has a list of what needs to be accounted for. Every now and then pieces will be missing from orders. The coordinator can ensure those items are either brought by the rental company later, make sure you are reimbursed for the missing items (depending on time), and/or find replacement items from another company on the spot! *If you aren’t able to share this information, by sharing the contact info, the coordinator can collect the order lists from the vendors on their own!

  3. Venue rules and regulations- typically the venue will share this information, but if you already have this information (you should receive it at the time of booking) share it with the coordinator! They may catch some logistical issues, such as trash removal, time restrictions, or other potential issues that can be avoided if thought through ahead of time. When wedding planning there is a ton of information coming at you from a lot of different vendors so it is easy to overlook some of these details. Your coordinator is there to advocate and problem solve with you, but they need all the tools to be able to do this to the best of their ability!

  4. Getting ready information- Even if your coordinator won’t be onsite while you are getting ready, sharing this information is important. The photographer, videographer, hair and makeup teams, or even members of your bridal party may need this information. Instead of sharing with everyone individually, sharing with your coordinator streamlines this information into the timeline which will go out to everyone at once. Your coordinator may also catch some logistical issues with transportation, access to water or food, or other details that may have slipped through the cracks!

  5. Any rough draft timeline you may have- I typically try to connect with my clients within a few weeks of booking to create a rough draft timeline, even if their wedding is months away. This helps with logistics when booking other vendors. If you already have a rough draft, share it with your coordinator! Most coordinators will help create your timeline, but if you already have one this is a great baseline for the coordinator to build off of. There are, of course, a lot of logistics to think through when mapping out a timeline, but this is YOUR wedding so the order that you want events is the most important thing for coordinators to consider. 

  6. Floor plan- if you already have a floor plan, share it with your coordinator! This is the person that will be onsite to make sure everything is coming together while you are focused on getting ready and getting MARRIED!! In order to create the wedding you have worked so hard to put together, your coordinator needs the floor plan! Sometimes the venue will send this over, some coordinators will even help finalize this, but no matter how it is finalized they need a copy!!

  7. Decor list & set-up plan- As intuitive as coordinators can be, they aren’t mind readers! You have worked so hard to create your overall aesthetic, so make sure that your efforts are put into practice. Let your coordinator know exactly what pieces of decor you have, where they belong, and how you’d like them arranged. Even if you have hired a decorator, communicate these pieces to your coordinator so you have an extra set of eyes on the project to make sure everything is being done the way you want! If you have a lot of decorations that you don’t have a predetermined vision for, let your coordinator know! They usually have a great eye for design and would be happy to bring this together- but they will need to know this is the case!

  8. The name’s of everyone in your bridal party- The bridesmaids and groomsmen are not only likely participating in some key moments for your day, they are also your best friends and therefore a great ally to both you and your coordination team!

  9. Ceremony plan & details - Your coordinator will need to know the names and order of everyone walking in the ceremony. They will also need to know who will be sitting, who will be standing, where those sitting will sit, the order in which those standing will stand, the music you plan to use for your ceremony, and which groups will be walking to which songs. They will also need to know about any special ceremonies you plan to have during your wedding ceremony.

  10. Any and everything you know about your wedding! The coordinator needs all of the information in your brain to be in their brain! It sounds like a lot of information to share, BUT once they have this knowledge you can take a huge sigh of relief. Your coordinator can take it from there. They may need to ask you a few opinion questions on details after that point, but everything else logistics wise can be taken care of between the vendors!

You gave yourself a gift by hiring a coordinator! You don’t need to worry about anything once you let your coordinator take the reigns! All you need to do is give them all the information in order to maximize the services you have hired them to perform. So share, share, share, then sit back, relax and GET MARRIED!!

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

Wedding Planning Timeline Outline

Wedding planning is different for everyone and everyone operates on their own timeline. Some people are more comfortable having two years or longer to plan while others only take a few months to plan! This list is a general outline of a suggested timeframe to get the larger tasks done. Of course, you may not want all of these vendors or perhaps you want additional vendors. If you are unsure of how to work those vendors into this overview feel free to reach out! I’m always happy to guide people through the planning process!

Wedding planning is different for everyone and everyone operates on their own timeline. Some people are more comfortable having two years or longer to plan while others only take a few months to plan! This list is a general outline of a suggested timeframe to get the larger tasks done. Of course, you may not want all of these vendors or perhaps you want additional vendors. If you are unsure of how to work those vendors into this overview feel free to reach out! I’m always happy to guide people through the planning process!

I always start with my Full and Partial Planning clients by creating a customized planning outline for them. It is important for me to make sure that the outline both manageable but also realistic. We typically start broad, and then fill in the finer details to make sure everything is done, done well, and done in a timely manor so everyone is happy and no one is overwhelmed!

18-12 months before the wedding

  • Have engagement party (typically hosted by family or close friends)

  • Decide on a budget and determine what aspects of the wedding you value the most

    Pro-tip: everyone has different things they care about most for their wedding! Decide what you are most looking forward to and what you’d like to allocate a bigger portion of your budget to!

  • Decide whether or not you want to purchase event insurance for both the day of (some venues will require this anyway) and also in the event you need to cancel or reschedule for any reason (illness, weather, etc.)

  • Decide whether or not you want a wedding planner.

    Pro-tip: If you decide against one initially, but ultimately decide to go with one later on, plenty of planners offer partial planning options! If you are planning a destination wedding outside of your home country, a planner is critical!

  • Decide on the time of year you’d like the wedding to take place

  • Narrow the date down to a few options

    Pro-tip: unless you are 100% married to a date in your mind, find a few dates, or a range of dates, that you are open to! This will help if you decide on a high-demand venue with a tendency to book out far in advance!

  • Create a rough outline of the guest list to help guide your venue search

    Pro-tip: Have at least a ballpark figure of how many guests you will host before you decide on a venue! Many venue’s can only accommodate a set number of guests, so it is important to find one that can hold all of your guests!

  • Book a venue (both ceremony & reception spaces if you choose to have the ceremony at a separate location)

  • Create day-of timeline draft

    Pro-tip: you can (and will!) make changes to this timeline as you work your way through planning, but having a general idea of the timing of key events on your wedding day will help as you book vendors!

12-8 months before the wedding

  • Book caterer (if not included with the venue)

  • Book photographer

    Pro-tip: it is best to do this before creating save the dates if you want to use pictures from the engagement pictures for your save the dates!

  • Have engagement shoot with photographer

  • Figure out what items are not provided by the venue or caterer and source them through a rental company

  • Create wedding website for guests to find relevant information, registry, and RSVP.

  • If the majority of your guests are traveling from out of town, create save the dates & send them!

  • Begin looking for attire (i.e. wedding dress & tux/suit)

    Pro-tip: on average, wedding dresses are purchased 8 months prior to the wedding, but as long as it is purchased with enough time to have it altered (2-3 months prior) you will be okay.

  • Ask friends/family to be in your bridal party

8-6 months before the wedding

  • Book bartender if not included with the venue or caterer

  • Book a florist and discuss what arrangements will work best with your budget and desired aesthetic

  • Book videographer

  • Book DJ or band for the reception and ceremony.

    Pro-tip: Remember, many ceremony locations will need an outside sound systems brought in. Make sure that if this is the case with your venue your DJ or musician can make this accommodation

  • If most of your guests are local send your save the dates

  • Create a room block for out of town guests

  • Reserve transportation from hotel to venue and from venue to hotel for bridal party and other guests

  • Find a seamstress to alter your dress (you won’t be able to alter this far out, but it is important to reserve your space, as many people will book up)

  • Book day-of-coordinator if you have chosen not to have a full planner or if your planner does not include day of services

  • Begin working on playlists & song choices for special moments/dances

6-4 months before the wedding

  • Begin planning your honeymoon

  • Pick out attire for bridesmaids & groomsmen

  • Find hair and makeup artist(s) and have a trial run

    Pro-tip: trials aren’t meant to be perfect! They are learning experience for you and your makeup professional. Your professional is learning your skin tone, facial structure, and general preferences. You are learning how your preferred style translates to your face, how well your hair and makeup will hold up throughout the day, and, of course, figuring out if your hair and makeup team is able to hear your feedback and make adjustments accordingly. Now, if by the end of the trial the professional hasn’t earned your trust, of course, consider finding someone who can achieve your hair and makeup goals. It is much better to have this revelation during a trial than on your actual wedding day!

  • Hire an officiant

  • Order the wedding cake and/or other desserts

  • Begin planning gifts for bridal party

  • Make reservations at a hotel for bridal party, bride/groom, and family for the wedding night

  • Select & order wedding rings

4-2 months before the wedding

  • Pick out shoes to wear with your wedding dress

  • Take dress to seamstress

  • Begin writing wedding vows

  • Begin planning bachelor/bachelorette parties

  • Begin purchasing decor/personal touches OR decide on decor rental company

  • Schedule rehearsal time with venue and reserve a location for rehearsal dinner

    Pro-tip: most venues will allow you to schedule this 45-90 days prior to your scheduled wedding day.

  • Apply for marriage license

    Pro-tip: In California 9and many other states), you can apply for your marriage license up to 90 days in advance. Appointments can be difficult to come by! Be sure to schedule an appointment early!

  • Design, order, & send invitations

    Pro-tip: If most of your guests are coming from out of town, send the invitations 3.5 months in advance. If most guests are local send invitations 2.5 months before the wedding. Either way, the RSVP date should be no less than 1.5 months prior to your wedding date.

    Pro-tip: RSVP dates should be no less than 1.5 months prior to the wedding, but ideally no more than 2.5 months in advance. 1.5 months allows you time to follow up with guests who haven’t RSVPd prior to any final head count dates w/ the venue, caterer, etc. Any date much more than 2.5 months in advance allows guests a lot of opportunity for things to come up that will change their RSVP response and you’ll find yourself needing to reconfirm numbers with vendors and reworking seating charts!

2-1 month before the wedding

  • Bridal shower (typically family or bridal party will plan this)

  • Bachelor/Bachelorette parties (if most of your bridal party will be traveling for the wedding, consider having these earlier so that you aren’t asking your friends to travel too much too close together)

  • Make sure all bridal party have purchased or reserved their attire for the wedding

  • If any bridal party needs alterations, these should be dropped off

  • Plan party favors for guests and order the items you need

  • RSVPs due- check in with guests who have not responded to invitations yet

  • Have final venue walk through

  • Create floor plan(s)

  • Creating seating chart

  • Decide on ceremony details:

    • Processional song(s)

    • Who will walk in your ceremony

    • What order they are walking in

    • Who will stand for your ceremony & the order they are standing in

    • Who will sit after walking in processional & where they will sit

    • If you want any special ceremonies, readings, songs, etc.

    • Recessional song

    • Who will participate in the recessional

    • Where you will go after you recess

    • Where your bridal party and/or family will go after you recess

    • Who your witnesses will be

    • Who will carry rings and vows for ceremony

1 month before the wedding

  • Send all song requests to DJ

  • Check in with vendors to confirm services, obtain insurance policies (if required by venue), and track any outstanding balances remaining

  • Revise timeline & make sure it is up to date with your wants/needs & vendor contracted times

  • Send timeline to vendors

  • Collect vendor insurance information & share with venue

  • Have final dress fitting (this way there is still time if any other alterations need to be made)

  • Finalize and confirm all details of honeymoon

  • Decide what order you will have bridal party walk for the ceremony and grand entrance

  • Finalize floor plan with venue

  • Check in with caterer to confirm headcount and finalize the details of the menu

  • Pick up dress from alterations if it had to be left behind for further alterations

  • Make sure all bridal party has picked up dresses/suits from alterations

  • Pick out outfit for rehearsal dinner

3 weeks before the wedding

  • Map out all decor and organize it into clearly marked boxes to ensure everything is set up properly on the day of your wedding

  • Begin writing thank you notes for any gifts that have already been purchased from your registry

  • Finalize wedding vows

  • Finalize all song selections (i.e. first dance, parent dances, cake cutting, grand entrance, etc.)

2 weeks before the wedding

  • Have final meeting with DJ to go over details

  • Have final meeting with photo & video teams to go over details

  • Finalize seating chart and transfer it to display form

    Pro-tip: this may seem a little last minute, but THINGS HAPPEN! Last minute guest cancellations and last minute guest confirmations come up so it is best to save this for as late as possible without letting it fall by the wayside!

1 week before the wedding

  • Get hair done (color and cut)

  • Create day-of checklist to make sure that no personal items or decor is left behind

  • Get nails done

  • If spray tanning, get spray tan (ideally 36-48 hrs prior to wedding)

  • Prepare all bridal party gifts

1 day before the wedding

  • Pack for wedding day/night

  • Pack for honeymoon

  • Have ceremony rehearsal

  • Have rehearsal dinner

  • Give bridal party gifts out at rehearsal dinner

  • Go home. Sleep well

The wedding day

  • Read through the timeline in the morning

  • Be sure to eat!

  • Get ready

  • Get MARRIED!

  • Have fun :)

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

Wedding Details Checklist (Did You Get it All?)

Remembering and organizing the details of a wedding is the cause of wedding stress for so many couples. Ease your brain by running through this list of questions to make sure you have everything organized and on track with your wedding planning!

There are so many small details that can seem incidental when wedding planning, but planning through the details in advance is the difference between the day running incredibly smoothly and potentially hitting some hiccups. Use the list of questions below to make sure your day is set up to flow as seamlessly as possible!

This list is intended to be referenced throughout planning, but is most useful in the 1-2 month period before your wedding. The larger details, like selecting vendors, and the little aspects that come with them will not be included in this list. Instead, this list focuses on the smaller details that are easily and commonly over looked in the final two months of planning!

This list is divided into sections in order to organize the chaos. The list will start with logistics and then move through the timeline of your day.

Note: all of our clients receive a personalized & even more comprehensive version of this list that we will go over together to ensure all details have been accounted for.

LOGISTICS:

  1. Have you purchased Day-of Event Insurance? Hint: Many venues require this! This is different from full wedding planning insurance! Learn more about wedding insurance here!

  2. Who is keeping an eye on restrooms throughout your wedding (i.e. stocking, cleaning, & managing if something goes array)?

  3. Are there dumpsters at your wedding venue? Are there trash cans at your wedding venue? Who is in charge of trash removal?

  4. How are your guests getting to and from the venue? If they’re driving, where will they park? Is it clear or will you need signs?

  5. How are you and your fiancé getting to and from the venue? Pro-tip: if you aren’t booking shuttles, party buses, limos, or any other sort of professional service, book an Uber/Lyft in advance for a smooth getaway!

  6. Are doing “old, new, borrowed, and blue” items do you know what they are? If so, will these items be coming to the venue with you, or will someone else bring them?

  7. If you have gotten your fiancé a gift or card, when will you give this to them? 

  8. Check the weather! Do you need any last minute climate control (i.e a tent, umbrellas for sunny days, or space heaters)?

  9. If you purchased your own decorations, how will they get to the venue? Who will set them up?

  10. Do you have signs to mark areas or communicate important messages? How will the signs be displayed (do you have easels, are they in frames, can they stand on their own)? Do you need garlands or other touches to dress up any signs? Are these ordered?

  11. Do you have a guest book? Do you have pens for the guest book?

  12. Do you have a card box? Pro-tip: beautiful is good, secure is great, beautiful and secure is the best!

  13. If people have gifted you decor/essential items, when will these items be arriving? Pro-tip: gifts are great! Make sure that whoever is delivering them will arrive in plenty of time for the gifted items to be set up!

  14. Do you have a timeline that you sent to vendors?

  15. Who will be making sure the timeline is running according to plan throughout the event?

  16. Have you applied for your marriage license? Pro-tip: in California, you can apply for a marriage license up to 90 days in advance! Be sure to schedule your appointment to apply early!

  17. Is the “cards and gifts” table going to be visible throughout the wedding? If not, do you want the cards hidden away at some point? Pro-tip: it is always a good idea to hide away cards and card boxes after cocktail hour!

  18. Will someone need to move the cards and gifts to the reception area? Who will do this?

  19. If you are going somewhere other than home after the wedding have you packed your overnight bag? 

  20. How will the overnight bag(s) get to your hotel?

GETTING READY:

  1. Where are you and your fiance getting ready?

  2. Who are you each getting ready with?

  3. How will everyone be arriving to their respective getting ready locations?

  4. If people are driving, will they be able to leave their car overnight?

  5. If you are getting ready somewhere other than your home have you packed a bag?

Did you include:

  • Deodorant

  • Emergency makeup

  • Makeup remover

  • Toothbrush/toothpaste

  • Undergarments (and backup undergarments!!)

  • Some kind of jacket

  • Robe or something to wear while getting ready

  • JEWELRY

  • Shoes

  • Back up flats JUST IN CASE

  • Another outfit/dress JUST IN CASE

  • If applicable, backup contacts

  • Contact solution

  • Glasses

  • Eye drops

  • Tissues

  • Femine products JUST IN CASE

    6. Do you have instructions from your hair and makeup team about how they would like everyone to arrive (freshly washed hair, fresh face, no preference, wash on site, etc.)?

    7. Has your hair and makeup team confirmed they have enough time and staff to complete all of the professional services they’ve been contract for based on your timeline?

    8 Are there enough mirrors/outlets for everyone in your getting ready space? (Pro-tip: If not, bring an extra mirror and a power strip or two)

    9. Is there drinking water available where you are getting ready? If not, who will bring this?

    10. When will you eat breakfast/lunch? If someone needs to bring food, who will it be? When will they buy it?

    11. Do you want wine/beer/champagne/other alcohol while you are getting ready? Who will bring this? When will they buy it? How much will they buy? Pro-tip: Don’t forget cups!!!

    12. Is there a refrigerator for food/drinks? Pro-tip: if not, bring a cooler or bring things that don’t need to be kept cool!

    13. Who will clean up the food/getting ready mess when you are done?

    14. Who will be gathering your personal items if you can’t leave them overnight?

    15. If you are getting ready at the venue and you can’t leave your items in the bridal suite during the wedding, where will these items be stored?

    16. Does everyone you are getting ready with know the plan?

CEREMONY:

  1. Who will bring the marriage license to the venue?

  2. Do you have ceremony programs? Where will these be placed? Who will place them?

  3. Who is walking down the aisle (family, bridal party, officiant, other)?

  4. What order are they walking in?

  5. If anyone walking in the processional is not standing for the ceremony, do you have a plan of where they will sit after they walk down the aisle? Do have reserved signs for these seats?

  6. Where will everyone walk from?

  7. How long is your processional song(s)? Is it long enough to have everyone walk?

  8. If you have multiple songs, who will cue the musician for the change of song?

  9. Do you have a mic/speakers for the ceremony?

  10. When will the officiant arrive so they can do a sound check?

  11. Do you have a ring box?

  12. Who will carry the rings down the aisle?

  13. Did you write your own vows?

  14. Who is bringing the vows to the venue?

  15. Who will carry the vows down the aisle?

  16. Do you have a bridesmaid to hold your bouquet while you exchange rings? If not, what will you do with the bouquet during the ceremony?

  17. Have you specified to your photographer any special photos you would like during the ceremony?

  18. Does you DJ/band know the absolute last line of the ceremony in order to cue the music?

  19. Where will you go once you recess? Does your photo/video team know about this?

  20. Where will your bridal party go once they recess? Your family?

  21. When will you sign the marriage license?

  22. Who will be your witness(es)?

  23. Where will the marriage license go for the remainder of the reception once it is signed?

  24. Who is releasing the guests from the ceremony area? (Hint: typically the officiant will do this unless they are participating in the recessional, in which case the DJ will make the announcement for guests to join cocktail hour.)

  25. Do guests need to be guided to a different area for cocktail hour? Who will do this?

  26. Do chairs need to be moved from the ceremony to reception area? Who will do this?

  27. If your ceremony venue is different from your reception venue how will you and your guests be transported from the ceremony to the reception?

    COCKTAIL HOUR

  1. What will guests be doing during cocktail hour (i.e playing games, photo ops, or simply be mingling)?

  2. Are there chairs for people to sit if they want/need to?

  3. Is your caterer providing apps? How will apps be served?

  4. Who will clean up the app plates/station?

  5. Will you be taking pictures during this time?

  6. Have you scoped out areas you would like to take pictures before hand?

  7. Are you taking pictures with family members?

  8. How will the family members know when they are needed for pictures?

  9. Does your photographer have a list of pictures you want? Pro-tip: this list should include all of the different groups of people you want to take photos with!

  10. Are you going to be able to eat any of the apps?

  11. If your bar is switching locations, will anything need to be moved from cocktail area to reception area? Do you have enough bartenders to make this happen?

RECEPTION:

  1. How will guests know when to sit for dinner? Is the DJ/MC going to make an announcement?

  2. How will guests know where to sit for dinner? Do you have a seating chart or place cards?

  3. Are you doing a grand entrance? Who will participate? Who will line them up and announce them? Pro-tip: typically the DJ/MC will do this in conjunction with the coordination team!

  4. What will you do after the grand entrance (first dance, welcome speech, sit for dinner, other)?

  5. If you are doing your first dance right after your grand entrance, where will the bridal party stand while you dance? Pro-tip: It can be distracting to have the bridal party searching for seats while you dance. Typically they will stand somewhere predetermined around the dance floor to watch you dance before taking their seats!

  6. Does the bridal party already know where they should sit for dinner?

  7. How will guests have access to water during dinner? Will someone be pouring water/refilling glasses, will there be water carafes on tables, or will there be a water dispenser that guests can retrieve water from? If there are dispensers or carafes of water who will refill these?

  8. How will dinner be served (buffet, family style, or plated)?

  9. If you are doing a buffet, who will release the tables to the buffet?

  10. If you are doing buffet, will you make your own plate or will someone be doing this for you? Pro-tip: If you are going through the buffet, usually the newly weds go first!

  11. Are you going to walk around to tables to say hi to everyone and take table pictures during dinner?

  12. Have you allowed yourself enough time to eat and to say hi? Pro-tip: it typically takes 3-7 minutes per table on average for table photos!

  13. Have you predetermined who will be giving toasts and the order in which they will be given? Are you planning to open the floor for any guests who would like to give toasts? Pro-tip: make sure your DJ/MC knows the speech/toast plan!!

  14. Who will clean up the dinner plates? If the plates are rentals from a company outside of the catering team, does the catering/bussing team know how the rental company prefers the plates to be returned to them?

  15. If you are doing any choreographed dances, does the DJ/musician know?

  16. If you are doing a money dance, do you have safety pins or another way to keep the money secure while you are dancing? Where will these be located? Who will bring them to you?

  17. Do you have a separate bouquet to throw for a bouquet toss so your special bouquet doesn’t get messed up?

  18. Do you have a things for cake cutting (knife, serving utensils, plates)? Pro-tip: designate some one (if you don’t have a coordination team) to place cake cutting utensils, plates, forks, napkins, and water by the cake before your cake cutting!

  19. How will dessert be served? Pro-tip: caterers can be a bit finicky about cutting cake and serving dessert that they didn’t provide! Confirm they are either open to serving these items OR make alternative plans!

  20. Are you doing a grand exit?

  21. Who will line everyone up and make sure sparklers are lit/glow sticks are cracked/bubbles are ready/or whatever else you have planned is prepared?

  22. If you are doing sparklers, where will the hot sparkler sticks go after the exit? Pro-tip: you will need a large bucket (or four!) with water close by so guests can dispose of their sparklers safely after the exit!

  23. How will you leave the venue?

  24. Who will make sure your personal items are in your exit vehicle?

  25. Where will you go after the reception? If it is a hotel, have you already checked in?

CLEAN UP:

  1. When do all vendors need to be off property? Who will make sure this happens? Is there a fine if guests/vendors are on property longer than the contract time?

  2. Have you confirmed with all vendors that the clean-up window is large enough for them to clean/clear at the end of the reception?

  3. Which, if any, vendors are returning to collect things at the end of the night? (i.e. rentals, bathroom trailer pick-up, florist, etc.?)

  4. Who will take your decorations at the end of the night? Which vehicle are they going into? Does this person know the plan?

  5. Who is removing floral arrangements? Can guests take these? Where do you want leftover florals to go?

  6. What do you want to do with your bouquet after the wedding? Do you want to save it? Do you know the process of preserving the bouquet in the way you want? Pro-tip: Make a preservation plan for your bouquet ahead of time and make sure that whoever if taking it knows what they must do THAT NIGHT to ensure the bouquet is in optimum condition for preservation!

  7. Where do extra favors go?

  8. Do you want leftovers? Where does leftover food/cake go?

  9. If the florist doesn’t need anything back and where would you like the leftover centerpieces to go?

  10. Does your venue require a final walkthrough with the coordination team at the end of cleanup?

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