Wedding Vocabulary A-Z

Like any industry, the wedding industry has its own unique vocabulary that may seem commonplace to anyone on the inside, but to the many, many that just pop in for a short stint to plan their own wedding is a whole new world! Honestly, wedding planning should really come with a glossary… so we made you one! With our wedding vocabulary glossary you won’t feel left in the dark, in fact, you’ll be speaking the wedding lingo like a pro in no time!

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A

Aisle- located between two clusters of seating where the guests will sit during the wedding ceremony, the aisle is the walking space between for the bride, groom, wedding party, and family members that leads to the altar where the ceremony will take place

Aisle runner- a covering, usually cloth or paper, expanding down the length of the aisle. The aisle runner is typically a rug, smother of flower petals, or roll of paper.

Altar- a backdrop for a religious wedding ceremony, typically made of candles, murals, floral arrangements, and/or a podium 

Appliqué- a piece of ornate fabric, usually lace, sewn into another fabric to create texture and dimension 

Arbor- and arch typically made of a collection of sticks, serves as a space for couples to be married under during outdoor wedding ceremonies

B

Bachelor party- a gathering of the groom-to-be’s closest friends to celebrate their friendship and his upcoming marriage (also called a “Buck’s night”)

Bachelorette party- a gathering of the bride-to-be’s closest friends to celebrate their friendship and her upcoming marriage (also called a “Hen’s night”)

Best man- the groom’s right-hand person, typically their closest friend or family member. This person is asked to stand beside the groom in support on his wedding day and assist with any wedding needs both prior to and on the day of the wedding

Black tie- a dress code in which all of the men wear formal tuxedos and the ladies wear floor length gowns

Black tie optional- a dress code in which men have the option to wear formal tuxedos, but a nice business suit is also acceptable

Bridal bouquet- a collection of flowers tied together, usually with a ribbon, intended for the bride to hold as she walks down the aisle to the wedding ceremony. The flowers symbolize happiness and satisfaction in marriage; the ribbon symbolizes fellowship and strength through community

Bridal shower- a party thrown for a bride-to-be where the guests are expected to “shower” the bride-to-be with gifts

Bride- a woman (or person who identifies as such) who is getting married

Bridesmaid- a close friend or relative of the bride who offers support throughout the wedding planning process and on the wedding day

Bridesmaid bouquet- a collection of flowers tied together intended to be held throughout the wedding ceremony by a bridesmaid

Boutonniere- a flower or small collection of flowers that is pinned to a suit jacket lapel for special occasions (like weddings)

Bouquet- a collection of flowers tied together intended to be held by a bride and/or bridesmaids as a symbol of happiness and good luck for the marriage

Bouquet toss- a tradition that usually occurs during the wedding reception where the single ladies in attendance gather and the bride tosses the bouquet into the crowd. The person who catches the bouquet is said to be married next

Buck’s night- a gathering of the groom-to-be’s closest friends to celebrate their friendship and his upcoming marriage (also called a “bachelor party”)

Buffet- a variety of dishes displayed on tables that guests can create their own plates from. This is a more casual form of serving food

Bustle- the process of pinning or buttoning the train of the bride’s dress higher on her dress to increase her mobility and function

Buttercream- a cake frosting made of whipped butter and sugar. Though it is generally found to be more delicious than fondant, it is known to quickly melt in heat

C

Cake cutting- a tradition that typically occurs during the wedding reception where the bride and groom cut their wedding cake together and take turns feeding the cake to each other

Calligraphy- an artful type of script writing known to convey elegance, often used on wedding invitations

Casual dress- a dress code that allows guests to wear whatever they would like, though dresses and button down shirts are typically still expected

Caterer- a wedding vendor that provides food for the guests. This service can be hired independently or provided through the reception venue

Cathedral- a Christian place of worship that is the seat of a Bishop

Celebrant- a person who is legally authorized to perform, or officiate, a wedding ceremony (also called “officiant”)

Centerpiece- an object placed in the center of a table intended for decorative purposes

Ceremony rehearsal- a practice run of the wedding ceremony, typically held a day or two prior to the wedding, usually followed by a rehearsal dinner

Chapel- a space, other than a courtroom and usually other than a church, where wedding ceremonies regularly take place

Charger- a large, decorative plate that goes beneath a dinner plate

Chuppah- used for Jewish wedding ceremonies, this is a 4 post canopy with fabric draped or stretched around the outside, beneath which a couple is married

Cocktail attire- a dress code that balances between black tie optional and business attire. Men are expected to wear afternoon suits and women are expected to wear nice dresses that are less formal than evening gowns but more formal than sundresses, suits, or skirts with a blazer. 

Cocktail hour- an “hour” directly following the wedding ceremony where guests gather to mingle, eat appetizers, and enjoy alcoholic beverages. Typically during this time the bride, groom, wedding party, and immediate family take pictures

Corsage- a small bouquet of flowers that can be worn on the wrist like a bracelet or pinned to clothes, typically worn by the matriarchs of a family, though on rare occasions bridesmaids will wear them

Cummerbund- a wide waist sash worn with double-breasted tail coats or tuxedos

D

Day of coordinator- a person hired to make sure the wedding plans are carried out. They typically act as the liaison between the timeline, vendors, and wedding party to ensure everyone is in the correct place at the allotted time doing the planned event. They will manage the vendors, communicate with the wedding party, and oversee the evening.

Destination wedding- a wedding taking place at a location where the couple and/or majority of guests must make travel arrangements in order to attend

Dress code- a specification of attire that guests are asked to adhere to

E

Engagement- the relationship between two people who intend to be married. It is also known as the time between a marriage proposal and a wedding

Engagement party- a party held to celebrate a recent engagement. Also serves as an opportunity to introduce members of the merging families and other wedding guests

Engagement pictures- typically a professional photograph, or series of photographs, taken to use for wedding announcements, wedding websites, social media, and/or decorate the wedding reception

Engagement ring- a gift given by one spouse when asking if the other will marry them, it serves as a symbol that the person wearing the ring is to be married

Escort card- a small card that lists a guest's name and their table number for the wedding reception. These are usually placed on a table together where guests will find them before moving to their assigned table

F

Family style- a food serving style where large serving dishes of food are placed on each individual table. The guests are expected to serve themselves and pass the serving trays around the table

Father of the bride (FOB)- just as it sounds, this is the father of the bride. FOB is a typical abbreviation used by wedding vendors and will commonly appear on timelines or other documents created by wedding professionals

Father of the groom (FOG)- just as it sounds, this is the father of the groom. FOG is a typical abbreviation used by wedding vendors and will commonly appear on timelines or other documents created by wedding professionals

Father/daughter dance- a traditional dance between the bride and her father to a meaningful song. It is intended as a celebration of their relationship. Typically no other guests will be on the dance floor, though occasionally the pair will request for other father/daughter couples to join them on the dance floor halfway through the song (See “How to Create a Timeline” for suggestions on timing this event)

Favors- a small gift from the newly weds to the guests to show their appreciation for the guests’ attendance; souvenirs for guests to take as they depart from the wedding

Fiancé (or Fiancee)- a person who is engaged to be married

First dance- typically occurring at the beginning of the wedding reception, this is the first dance that the newly weds will share as a married couple. (See “How to Create a Timeline” for suggestions on timing this event)

Floral arrangement- a collection of flowers specifically and artfully pieced together (See “All Things Wedding Florist” for more information) 

Flower girl- a young girl who walks down the aisle before the bride, she will typically scatter flower petals as she walks

Fondant- a smooth cake icing that is rolled out over a cake to give it a smooth appearance

Formal attire- a dress code that is between cocktail attire and black-tie. Feminine attire includes a nice short or long dress made of higher end material, pantsuit, or skirt and blazer. Masculine attire includes a dark suit, tie or bowtie, and white shirt

G

Ganache- a combination of chocolate and heavy cream either used as icing or filling for a cake. They will also have additions like liqueur, vanilla, or fruit flavorings

Garlands- (1) also known as Mala in the Hindi language, used in Hindi weddings, flowers bunched together on a string and worn around the bride’s and groom’s neck (2) a lush leafy and/or flowery vine used as decor 

Garter- a piece of bridal lingerie worn around a bride’s upper thigh, under her wedding dress. Traditionally a groom will retrieve the garter and toss it into a crowd of single men (see “Garter Toss”)

Garter toss- after retrieving the garter, the groom will toss or sling-shot the garter into a group of single men that have gathered prior to the garter retrieval. The bachelor that catches the garter is said to be married next

Gift registry- a service provided by websites and/or retail stores for engaged couples to create lists of desired items they would like to receive as wedding gifts and communicate those wishes with their wedding guests

Gobo lighting- a light that shines through a projected image onto a solid surface such as a wall or floor. Typically for weddings couples will use a Gobo to project their monogrammed initials 

Golden hour- a time with optimum lighting for photographs that occurs twice a day, one during sunrise and once during sunset. Golden hour typically starts the first 30 minutes after sunrise, the final hour prior to true sunset, though most sunset photo shoots last about 30 minutes after sunset

Grand entrance- a presentation of the newly weds, often the bridal party is included and occasionally close family members are included. This typically occurs directly following cocktail hour and immediately preceding dinner

Grand exit- a formal send-off of the newly weds at the conclusion of the wedding reception. The grand entrance usually includes guests forming a tunnel of aisle for the newly weds to run through before getting into their exit vehicle

Groom- a man (or person who identifies as such) who is getting married

Grooms speech- the groom’s speech is usually made on behalf of himself and his new spouse to thank the guests for attending their wedding, acknowledge the continued support of friends and family, and appreciate his new spouse.

Groomsmen- an attendant to the groom that offers support throughout the wedding planning and wedding day; usually the groom’s closest friends and/or family members

Guest list- a list of individuals invited to a wedding. This list does not include anyone hired to work as a vendor on your wedding day (even if they are friends!)

H

Head table- a table at a wedding reception where the bride, groom, and their wedding party will sit to eat dinner. This table usually faces outwards towards the rest of the guests

Hen’s night- a gathering of the bride-to-be’s closest friends to celebrate their friendship and her upcoming marriage (also called a “bachelorette party”). Hen’s nights traditionally take place on the evening prior to the wedding, but with the rise in popularity of the bachelorette party, Hen’s nights have largely transitioned to earlier dates.

Honeymoon- a vacation taken by the bride and groom following their wedding 

Hosted bar- bar drinks available to guests prepaid for by the host(s) of a wedding

Hotel block- an agreement made between the host of a wedding and a hotel to guarantee a predetermined number of rooms at a predetermined rate are available to wedding guests

I

In house catering- catering services provided by a wedding reception venue

Installation- any display, decor, floral or otherwise, that has been placed specifically for a wedding

Invitation- a letter sent providing information and a request for attendance of the recipient to a wedding. The invitation should state the date of the event, address where the event is being held, time they should arrive, and any other pertinent information to your unique event (i.e. dress code, will food be served?, will there be dancing?, is there a wedding website where further information and/or a registry can be found, a map to find the specific location if venue is in a low internet-service area, etc.)

Invitation suite- all of the paper goods sent along with an invitation. This usually includes an RSVP card, meal card, directions to the wedding venue, and any other important information necessary to share with guests

J

Justice of the peace- a court judge with limited legal abilities, but whose abilities include performing marriage ceremonies

K

Ketubah- a Jewish marriage contract that outlines the responsibilities of the groom in relation to the bride

Kickback- an amount of money paid from one vendor to another for a client referral

L

Letterpress- a printing technique by which many copies are made by repeated direct impression of a raised inked surface against sheets or rolls of continuous paper

M

Maid of honor (MOH)- the bride’s right hand person, typically a close friend or family member who participates in the wedding ceremony processional, adjusts the bride’s dress once she arrives at the altar, holds the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony, and offers continued support throughout wedding planning and on the wedding day. The MAID of honor is an unmarried woman.

Master of Ceremonies (MC or Emcee)- A person who speaks through a microphone to provide information and entertainment to guests

Matron of honor- the bride’s right hand person, typically a close friend or family member who participates in the wedding ceremony processional, adjusts the bride’s dress once she arrives at the altar, holds the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony, and offers continued support throughout wedding planning and on the wedding day. The MATRON of honor is a married woman.

Meal card- a card included with the invitations where guests who plan to attend the wedding will specify what meal option they would like

Money dance- a dance where guests take turns offering the bride and groom money in exchange for a quick dance. The money offered is typically pinned to the bride and grooms clothing, though it is occasionally put into baskets, or someone, usually the bride’s mom or an aunt, will pin the money together to form crowns and/or capes for the bride and groom to wear

Mood board- a visual representation of the design vision and inspiration for a wedding. Also called an “inspiration board”

Mother of the bride (MOB)- just as it sounds, this is the mother of the bride. MOB is a typical abbreviation used by wedding vendors and will commonly appear on timelines or other documents created by wedding professionals

Mother of the groom (MOG)- just as it sounds, this is the mother of the groom. MOG is a typical abbreviation used by wedding vendors and will commonly appear on timelines or other documents created by wedding professionals

Mother/son dance- a traditional dance between the groom and his mother to a meaningful song. It is intended as a celebration of their relationship. Typically no other guests will be on the dance floor, though occasionally the pair will request for other mother/son couples to join them on the dance floor halfway through the song

N

Newlyweds- people who have just gotten married. The “newlywed” period begins immediately following the wedding ceremony and extends through the first year of marriage

O

Officiant- any person who performs the role of officiating a legal marriage ceremony (also called “Celebrant,” “Justice of the Peace,” or any religious leader) (See “All Things Wedding Officiant” for more details on this service, questions to ask a potential officiant, & how to proceed once a wedding officiant is booked)

Open bar- a bar serving alcoholic beverages paid for by the host(s) of the wedding

P

Palette- a collection of colors intended to be used in the wedding design (See “Design Building Guide” for more information and guidance on how to select the right color palette for you!)

Place cards- small pieces of paper listing a guests name, placed at their seat. Typically guests will find their name and designated table on a seating chart and upon arriving at their table will look for their place card to locate their exact seat. 

Plated dinner- dinner served to seated guests by wait staff. Typically their desired meal will have been specified on their meal card and communicated with the catering service staff prior to the wedding so no one will place orders directly on the wedding day

Place setting- a collection of plates, napkins, place cards, silverware, cups, and occasionally decorative touches at each guests seat

Plus one- an unspecified guest of a wedding guest. The “plus one” is up to the guest’s discretion. This is commonly allotted to guests who are single and/or may not be familiar with many other guests in attendance.

Photo booth- a vending machine or kiosk where guests can take pictures. The pictures are usually printed on strips for guests to take home or sent to them via text or email. Props are usually provided to encourage creativity 

Photographer- a professional hired to take pictures throughout the wedding day

Procession- a group of people formally walking down the aisle in a wedding ceremony, typically occurs after all of the guests are seated

Processional- the music played while a group of people (i.e. wedding party, parents or parental figures of the couple, etc.) walk down the aisle in a wedding ceremony

Q

Queen Anne neckline- a high collar in the back, with a dipped cut in the font usually in a V or U shape. Common wedding dress neckline.

R

Reception- a celebration following a marriage ceremony that typically includes food, drinks, and dancing or other entertainment.

Recessional- the part of a wedding ceremony where the wedding party exits the ceremony area

Rehearsal dinner- a dinner directly following the ceremony rehearsal, typically the guests include anyone who attended the ceremony rehearsal and their dates. This usually includes the wedding party and immediate family of bride(s) and/or groom(s)

Ring bearer- a young male child who participates in the wedding ceremony by bringing the rings to the altar

Ring box- a box containing the wedding rings and bands carried by the ring bearer

RSVP- an abbreviation of a french phrase “repondez s’il vous plait,” which in english means “please respond. When this is listed on an invitation it means the guests are expected to confirm or deny their attendance

RSVP card- a card included with the wedding invitation that guests can use to confirm or deny their attendance and mail back to the sender

S

Sample sale- an event where boutiques and wedding dress designers offer the dresses used in their showrooms for bride’s to try on designs or worn at fashion shows at deeply discounted rates

Save the date (STD)- an announcement sent to guests of the wedding date and city. This announcement is sent prior to the invitations. They are often sent once the date is solidified, but other important details are still unknown

Seating chart- a display listing table numbers or names and the guests assigned to each table

Semi-formal attire- a dress code requiring guests to wear something dressier than what they would wear to a business meeting, but less formal than a tuxedo or evening gown

Signature cocktail- a cocktail selected by the bride(s) and/or groom(s) for guests to drink. Often used when the reception bar is limited

Speeches- an address given by important family or friends of the bride(s) and/or groom(s) usually providing well wishes or fond memories with the couple (also called “Toasts”)

Suit- a formal three piece outfit composed of dress pants, formal jacket, and nice button up shirt. A suit is less formal than a tuxedo.

Sunset pictures- portraits taken of the bride(s) and/or groom(s) during sunset or “golden hour”

Sweetheart table- a special table for newlyweds to sit while eating dinner. This table is usually separated from the other guests, but allows guests a clear view of the couple and vice versa.

T

Table pictures- this is when the newlyweds walk around to the guest tables during dinner and take pictures with the entire table

Tablescape- a cohesive, intentional design of a table decor and place settings.

Toasts- an address given by important family or friends of the bride(s) and/or groom(s) usually providing well wishes or fond memories with the couple (also called “Speeches”)

Trial- a practice run of hair and makeup prior to the wedding day to ensure the hair and makeup teams are prepared with all materials to achieve the desired look, and to confirm the bride is happy with how her desired look translates to her personally

Train- the long back portion of a wedding dress that trails behind the wearer

Tray-passed appetizers- hors d'oeuvres served to guests by wait staff from trays as guests mingle

Trunk show- a special event in which a bridal salon features a particular designer's collection. The bride has a unique opportunity to view and try on wedding dresses straight off the runway before they are available in stores as well as styles from previous seasons

Tulle- a stiff, fine netting-like fabric often used for wedding dresses and veils 

Tuxedo- a formal three-five outfit composed of dress pants, matching formal dinner jacket, button up shirt, cummberbund, and tie. 

U

Usher- a designated person to escort guests to their seats prior to and during a wedding ceremony

V

Veil- a piece of fabric worn in the brides hair that compliments her dress

Vendor- a professional hired to take care of a specific aspect of the wedding event. Examples of vendors include caterers, wedding planners, rental companies, florists, etc.

Venue- a location that either or both the wedding ceremony and/or reception will take place

Venue walk through- a visit to your wedding venue to map out the day-of plan on site. Typically a venue representative, the couple, their planner, photographer, caterer, and rental company are in attendance.

Videographer- a wedding vendor hired to film the wedding (For more information on this service, the styles of videography, what is common in videography packages, questions to ask a videographer, and what to expect after booking a wedding videographer, check out our blog “All Things Wedding Videography”)

Vows- an exchange of promises between the bride(s) and/or groom(s) during the wedding ceremony 

Votives- small candles usually used to accent wedding decor. These candles are larger than tea candles, but smaller and shorter than candle sticks

W

Wedding band- (1) a ring exchanged during the ceremony symbolizing matrimony (2) a group of performers intended to provide musical entertainment during a wedding reception

Wedding ceremony- a legal and/or religious union of two or more people committing their lives

Wedding coordinator- a person hired to make sure the wedding plans are carried out. They typically will manage the vendors, communicate with the wedding party, and manage the timeline (see also “Day-of coordinator”) (For a complete description of this role, questions to ask potential coordinators, & what to expect after booking a wedding coordinator, visit “32 Questions to ask a Wedding Coordinator”)

Wedding dress- a dress worn by a bride at her wedding 

Wedding planner- a hired professional who plans and organizes weddings (For more information on the role of a wedding planner, questions to ask a wedding planner prior to booking, and what to expect after booking a wedding planner, check out our blog “Questions to ask a Wedding Planner”)

Wedding website- an online platform specific to a wedding where guests can find important information regarding that wedding

Welcome bag- a collection of useful items gifted to wedding guests upon their arrival to a hotel block. This bag usually includes items relevant to the couple, the wedding, and/or the city the guests are staying in

White glove service- a premium service that is expected to be carried out with the utmost attention to detail and care

Y

Yuchid- a Jewish tradition immediately following a wedding ceremony intended to seclude the bride and groom offering them a moment in private

All Things Wedding MC

You spend hours of time, loads of energy, and a lot of money making sure your wedding day will be perfect. As you work to bring your plans together, your wedding will begin to develop a personality. Usually the personality your wedding takes on is a reflection of your own. As the primary source of communication to all wedding attendees, a professional MC conveys this personality to everyone. Though this person will bring their own unique charisma to the table, it is important to find a professional who will accurately represent you, your fiance, and your wedding vision! Follow this guide to make sure you feel confident in the MC you select!

This guide is divided into 3 sections:

1. Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding MC

2. Questions to ask an MC prior to booking

3. Ways to maximize your MC’s services

Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding MC

1. What is an MC? An MC (Emcee), or Master of Ceremonies, is essentially the voice of your wedding. They are the liaison between you, your vendors, your timeline, and the guests. Not to be confused with a coordinator, who communicates between you and your vendors to make sure everything is running smoothly and on time, an MC communicates between the coordinator and guests to keep everyone informed of what will happen next. In addition to making important announcements, they typically also provide an element of entertainment to the guests.

2. You need someone to MC. The role that an MC plays is a big piece of what separates a wedding from any other event. Even if you aren’t interested in hiring an MC as an entertainer, someone will still need to be designated to make announcements. Without an MC the guests, or even you, might not know what to do at any particular time. For example, the MC will direct people from one area to another (ceremony, to cocktail hour, to reception, to dancing, etc.), release tables to take turns at a buffet, announce when the bar is open and closed, introduce special events (i.e. the grand entrance, special dances, toasts, etc.), and bring energy to the dance floor! 

3. Typically your musician will double as, or provide, an MC, but this isn’t always the case. Typically the DJ or lead singer of a wedding band will serve as an MC. If they don’t personally act as an MC, they usually offer an MC as an add-on to their services. Sometimes these professionals don’t include or offer options for this service, and you will need to find a professional on your own. In some cases, even if your musician can MC, a separate professional may be necessary if announcements need to made in multiple languages. When booking a musician, inquire about their MC work, and/or request an MC that is bilingual if necessary.

4. Professionals specializing MC work usually have a very specific style. Some people specialize in wedding MCing, but it is more common to find an MC who specializes in events as a general category. While anyone MCing will have their own “microphone voice,” professionals who specialize in this kind of work tend to have more niche styles. A professional MC may host game night at a local bar, fashion shows, bingo nights, drag shows, standup comedy shows, etc., all of which require a niche persona. This means they are likely to have a specific MC style that may or may not work for you. You can judge this based on samples of their work they provide, how they speak on the phone, or by attending an event they are hosting prior to booking.

5. Some MCs double as musicians; proceed with caution. Not to be confused with musicians who double as an MC, some professional MCs also dabble in music on the side and may want to do a performance at your wedding. Again, be sure to check out samples of their work to make sure this is something you are comfortable with! Sometimes it works out amazingly, and they offer an incredible show to guests. Sometimes it goes less than stellar. Do your due diligence and make sure any performance they will do will go over well with your specific crowd.

6. Some MCs double as comedians; proceed with caution. MCs are almost always at least a little funny and charismatic. This makes for a great host! Guests don’t want to hear a monotone voice making bland announcements. Often lack of character allows for announcements to go unheard, as even an amplified monotone voice is easily lost in the noise of the crowd. However, there is a difference between a little bit of charming humor and a full on stand up routine. Even if you love comedy and a full stand up routine sounds awesome, make sure that their sense of humor is in line with what you envisioned for your wedding!

7. An MC is an entertainer, but they shouldn’t steal the show. As the host of your wedding, an MC is expected to provide entertainment for guests. This may include walking around to guests and asking them questions about the newlyweds, encouraging guests to dance, or making announcements in an upbeat and engaging way. There is an incredible finesse required to provide entertainment without making the day about themselves. This is easily avoided by checking out their work prior to booking! 

8. MCs don’t usually provide their own sound equipment. Since it is unusual for MCs to provide their own sound equipment, you will need to source this elsewhere. Typically your DJ, venue, or wedding band will provide the sound equipment. Make sure that whoever is providing sound equipment is on board with sharing. If none of these vendors are supplying a sound system, you will need to source it elsewhere so music and announcements can be heard throughout your event space.

9. Meet with a potential MC you are interested in on the phone or in person and pay attention to their speaking voice. Listen to the cadence of their voice. Pay attention to their energy, word choice, personality, and overall sound they produce when they speak. This will provide a lot more insight into their MC style than any single question ever could. If the person is engaging, interesting, and professional in a meeting, there is a good chance those qualities will carry over to their MC work.

10. Don’t just read reviews, read into reviews.  An MC may have five stars across all review platforms, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are a good fit for you. While this is true for all vendors, it is especially true for MCs because their work style is so subjective. Look for trends in the reviews that can provide a little more insight into what this professional's work style is like. For example, if you see multiple 5 star reviews that consistently say something to the effect of “they playfully teased all of our guests and did a lot of funny celebrity impressions,” recurring throughout reviews, that person is probably going to perform similarly at your wedding. Other couples may have loved this and left all five star reviews, but if the thought of your guests being the butt of a joke and having to listen to celebrity impressions all night makes you cringe, that professional isn’t going to be the right fit for you.

Questions to ask prior to booking an MC

Basics-

1. Are you available on my date?

2. Can you work within my budget?

3. Do you require a deposit? How much?

4. When is the balance due?

5. What is your preferred method of payment?

6. What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?

7. What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?

8. What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?

9. What is the backup plan if you are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?

10. Are there any additional fees, such as travel fees, that are not included in the package price?

11. Are you licensed?

12. Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your staff and property?

Experience & style-

1. How long have you been a professional MC?

2. Do you specialize in a certain type of event?

3. How long have you been MCing weddings?

4. How many weddings have you MCd?

5. How would you describe your MC style?

6. What makes you stand apart from other MCs?

7. Are you open to hosting games or special events we have planned?

8. Do you offer any additional services or typically do special performances?

9. Have you worked at our venue before? (Hint: This is particularly important if the venue includes a house sound system. An MC that is familiar with your venue and their system will be familiar with how to start up the system and quicker able to troubleshoot, should any issues arise.)

10. Have you worked with our musician(s) before?

11. If applicable, can you make announcements in English and another language? (Hint: Typically at multicultural events a special MC will be hired to make announcements so that all of the guests can understand. Usually these MCs will make announcements in English and your preferred language, but some MCs will only make announcements in the language you have specifically hired them for. This can pose an issue if some guests don’t speak this language, and creates the same problem they were hired to alleviate in the first place! Make sure that someone is available to translate for guests so everyone is in the know for important events!)

12. Can we see videos of you hosting a previous event or attend a live event that you are MCing?

Logistics-

1. Do you provide your own sound equipment?

2. If you do provide sound equipment, will our guests have access to your microphone for speeches/toasts?

3. If we decide we want the party to last longer, can we add extra hours onto our package on the night of the wedding?

4. What is the rate for additional hours?

5. Do you require breaks?

6. Do you require a vendor meal?

7. Will you MC any other events throughout our wedding weekend?

Ways to maximize your MC’s services

1. Set up a phone or in person meeting prior to the wedding to go over all of the details. It is important that the MC is well versed in all of your wedding day plans so they can do their job to the best of their ability. In order to set themselves up for success, most MCs will require either a phone or in person meeting prior to your wedding to go over the details. If they don’t require a meeting, arrange one yourself! Everyone will be better off if the details are reviewed together in advance. This meeting will be most beneficial within the final week or two of your wedding. As you finalize planning details, slight things may shift. Set up your meeting with your MC as close to your wedding as possible (without it being so close that the MC doesn’t have time to prepare and you feel overwhelmed with a lot of last minute to-do’s) to ensure they are receiving the most finalized and accurate information regarding your wedding plans.

2. Send the MC your timeline prior to having a final details meeting with them about your wedding plans. This will give the MC an opportunity to look through the timeline and prepare any questions they may have for you. The MC will need to be familiar with the timeline to make sure they understand the flow of the evening, when to make announcements, and, on the day of your wedding, know when to check in with your coordinator and other vendors to make sure everyone is ready for the next scheduled event prior to making the announcement.

3. Specify how you, the newlyweds, would like to be referred to. Your MC will be announcing, at least referring to you, several times throughout the evening. Make sure you specify what you’d like to be called as a couple. While traditionally newlyweds used to be referred to as “Mr. and Mrs. [man’s full name here]” that isn’t always the case anymore. With so much variation in who can be married and the dynamic between couples shifting, weddings have come a long way from the days where new couples were introduced as “Mr. & Mrs. John Smith!” Some other alternatives include just your first names, “the newlyweds,” “the Smith’s,” “John & Philip Smith,” etc.

4. If you need your MC to announce any names, spell the names out phonetically. Even simple names get mispronounced on occasion. An easy way to avoid this is to write out the phonetic spelling next to the names so the MC knows exactly how to say the names (i.e. Mary = M-air-ee). Write out your name, your fiance's name, and your last name(s) phonetically so the MC pronounces them correctly all evening long. Even if you talk to your MC many times and you and/or they say your names repeatedly, it is YOUR special day and your names are worth guaranteeing correct pronunciation! Usually more than just the newlywed’s names will be announced at some point during the wedding. Important guests will give speeches and often newlyweds want to include additional people in the grand entrance (i.e. the wedding party, immediate family members, sponsors, etc.). Provide these names in writing with specifications on how to pronounce them, so everybody’s name is announced correctly!

5. Thoroughly discuss any announcements your MC will need to make. Prior to the wedding, you will likely plan and predetermine specific announcements that will need to be made. Make sure to provide these announcements in writing to your MC. The timeline is the perfect place to write out the specific announcements so the MC can track exactly when announcements are intended to be made. Be sure to discuss all of the announcements with your MC. Let them know if you want the exact wording you have provided, or if they have a little leeway on what should be said.

6. Let the MC know ahead of time when to NOT speak. Some people only want the MC to speak when it is time for designated announcements. Others want entertainment all throughout the event. Many people want something in between. If there are any times throughout the night you’d rather the MC keep to themselves (i.e. special dances, the duration of dinner, the duration of cocktail hour, etc.) let them know ahead of time. If the MC isn’t given any specifications of when to keep quiet, they may feel the need to fill in gaps by telling jokes, narrating special events (i.e. “wow look at that twirl,” “Oh they’re going for dip,” “smash the cake!!”, etc.), or engaging guests on the microphone (i.e. inquiring about how they know the couple, asking for a random guest to provide relationship advice, asking for a quick impromptu speech from a random guest, etc.). All of these examples are fairly typical of an MC, so they can’t be blamed for doing any of this if they haven’t been told otherwise!

7. Discuss specific jokes, questions, games, etc. that you’d like included with your MC. If there is anything specific or out of the norm you’d like included at some point at your wedding, let the MC know! If you want any games, specific forms of guest engagement, or other out-of-the-norm approaches to entertainment make sure the MC knows ahead of time so they can prepare accordingly! While the examples listed under #6 are not out of the norm for MCs, they also shouldn’t be expected unless you specify you would like them to engage and entertain guests in these ways.

8. Be sure to inform the MC of any “don’t breach topics.” If there is anything that should never, ever be brought up with your family or guests LET THE MC KNOW! There is nothing worse than an MC making a statement, telling a joke, or asking a question and it being followed by a dramatic, awkward pause amongst the crowd! The best way to avoid this is to let them know about any “don’t go there topics” ahead of time. Even if it feels like an overshare, it will be better for everyone in the end if the MC knows what topics to avoid.

9. Specify who should and should not be given a microphone. It is fairly common for a distant relative or friend to suddenly become inspired and want to give an impromptu speech at a wedding (especially once the alcohol starts flowing). Some couples are happy to open the floor to anyone who wants to give a toast, while others strictly want to stick to the planned speeches. There are any number of reasons for either of these approaches, but if you anticipate any guests becoming an issue, make sure your MC knows who, under no circumstances, should never get a hold of the microphone. 

10. Provide all information in writing. While a phone or in person meeting is of the utmost importance, it is equally important to write down all instructions, wants, dislikes, etc. for your MC. While it is important that information is provided in writing for all vendors, it is especially important for your MC, because their mistakes are amplified (literally, via the microphone). If your caterer forgets to set out appetizer plates, they can quickly fix the problem with minimal guests noticing. If your MC messes up your last name, everyone will be aware. Your MC will likely be pouring over your written notes prior to the wedding in order to prepare, but will typically bring all of the notes with them to make sure everything is going the way you discussed! Little details are much more likely to slip by the wayside if they don’t have written notes and are simply trying to remember everything you said in a phone conversation! This will also help if your coordinator or a guest approach the MC to inquire why they are or are not doing something. If the MC has specific instructions in writing that they are not supposed to tell jokes or engage with guests during dinner they can prove they are doing their job exactly as you wanted!

Preparing and Planning Your Wedding Ceremony

Your wedding ceremony is the start to your married life. This is what guests are here to celebrate! Follow this guide to make sure your ceremony is the perfect beginning to your wedding celebration and life as a married couple!

This guide is divided into 3 sections:

1. Writing your wedding ceremony

2. Walking order for the ceremony

3. A series of Pro-tips on things to consider when planning your ceremony

Writing your wedding ceremony

Typically the person officiating your wedding will prepare the wedding ceremony, but there are plenty of reasons you may need to create your own. When it comes to writing a wedding ceremony, there are very few rules. The only piece you absolutely need is an exchange of some sort of committal statement that both parties involved in the marriage recite. This is the “Do you X, take X to be your lawfully wedded...“ part of the ceremony. Even this part can be customized, but there are a few basic sentiments that need to be included.The rest is completely up to you! 

A standard flow to a wedding ceremony is as follows:

1. Guests asked to take their seats (usually about 5-10 minutes prior to the ceremony start time, depending on how many guests you are expecting)

2. Everyone participating in the ceremony is lined up (usually this includes the wedding party, immediate family, flower girl, ring bearer, bride(s), and/or groom(s)- (the order everyone walks in will be discussed in the next section of this guide).

3. The processional starts (this is the music that everyone will walk down the aisle to) and everyone enters in their pre-discussed order to their predetermined locations

4. Everyone except the bride and her escort(s) (if she chooses to have any) are in their places, whether it be seats or at the altar

5. The bride and her escort(s) walk down the aisle

6. The officiant welcomes & thanks everyone in attendance

7. (in a religious ceremony) the officiant leads a prayer.

8. The officiant introduces themself & describes their significance in the ceremony (they may describe their friendship with the bride(s) and/or groom(s), their role as a religious leader, what qualifies them to lead this ceremony, etc.)

9. The officiant tells a personal anecdote about the bride(s) and/or groom(s) (This can be anything! Sometimes it is a story of how the couple met, a description of a common theme throughout their relationship, a funny story they shared with the officiant, etc.)

10. Words of wisdom are offered to the couple (this can either be advice coming directly from the officiant, a reading- religious or other- by a friend or family member, or a meaningful song either played or performed live by a musician or friend/family member, etc.)

11. Special ceremonies typically occur next if they occur at all (i.e. sand ceremony, cord ceremony, candle lighting ceremony, glass ceremony, etc.)

12. The couple will exchange vows (this can be standard vows or personal vows prepared by the couple)

13. The couple exchanges rings (this is the “I Do’s” part!)

14. Final closing thoughts from the officiant (this can be a closing prayer, well wishes to the couple, etc.)

15. The pronouncement of the marriage (“I now pronounce you…”) 

16. The kiss

17. The recessional music begins (exit song) and the couple exits together

18. Once the couple is all the way back up the aisle the bridal party follows them

19. Following the bridal party’s exit, the ushers will escort immediate family members up the aisle

20. Once all family members are back up the aisle, the officiant announces that guests are released and gives direction on what to do next (head to cocktail hour, leave for the reception venue, pose for a group picture, etc.)

While this is a common ceremony flow, you can choose to rearrange this however you want. Certain religions will have additional traditions incorporated throughout the ceremony. Some people will choose to have multiple readings and/or performances spread out throughout their ceremony while other couples choose to exclude many pieces listed here. As long as you exchange promises in some sort of ceremonial format, the marriage is legal and the rest is up to you!

Walking order for the ceremony

Depending on how formal your wedding is, how extensive the guest list is, your relationship with your family members, and who you each choose to escort you down the aisle (if you choose to have anyone at all), your ceremony walking order can be anything! Some couples choose to only have themselves walk down the aisle, others choose to include all of their “VIP” guests. Plenty of people choose to have something in between. There are no wrong answers as long as you, your fiance, and the officiant end up at the altar!

The most standard walking order is as follows:

Entrance (procession)-

1. All guests seated

2. Immediate family like grandparents, parents of the bride(s) and/or groom(s) who won’t be escorting their to-be-married child down the aisle, and siblings who aren’t in the bridal party walk first (typically the siblings who aren’t in the bridal party will escort the parents who aren’t walking their to-be-married child down the aisle.) If any of these people need assistance walking or don’t wish to walk alone, you can assign ushers to escort them to their seats.

3. Officiant

4. Groom & mother (or Bride #1 and escort)

5. Bridesmaids and groomsmen

6. Maid/Matron of Honor & Best Man

7. Flower girl & ring bearer (depending on how many of each you have, they may walk together or separately)

8. Bride & father (or Groom #2 and escort)

Exit (recession)-

1. Newly weds

2. Wedding party in the reverse order from which they entered (after newly weds have completely exitted)

3. Immediate family with ushers/escorts

4. Officiant & guests (after the officiant makes an announcement for guests to leave)

A series of Pro-Tips on things to consider when planning your ceremony

1. List the guest arrival time on your wedding invitations 30 minutes prior to the actual ceremony start time. Some guests are punctual, others not so much. Don’t risk latecomers walking in during your ceremony and causing a disruption. If you are worried about the punctual guests being punished for being on time, a simple solution is to prepare some entertainment! Have music already playing to create some atmosphere and provide water, alcoholic drinks, snacks, games, a guest book, etc. to entertain them!

2. Write your vows down! No matter how much you practice or how confident you are in your memorization skills, write them out and keep a copy handy. When the time comes, you may not need them at all, but it is always better to be safe than sorry!

3. Write your vows on notecards. Writing vows on a phone or large piece of paper is a recipe for distraction. Keeping track of a phone before the ceremony is not fun. Other notifications may be distracting when it comes time to pull your phone out. Also, with a phone getting to the vows may be a little difficult! Nerves tend to make for shaky hands which is incredibly apparent if you brought a large, floppy piece of paper. A side effect of trembling paper is becoming hyper aware of how nervous you are when you see the page shake, which can make you more nervous! Even if nerves don’t get to you, wind might! A large piece of paper blowing around in the breeze can create a crinkling noise that is easily picked up by a microphone. Another downside to large sheets of paper is how easy it is to lose your place when reading from them. Big pages are a no no! Notecards allow you the opportunity to write big enough to keep your place, minimize distractions, and avoid obviously trembling.

4. Write two copies of your vows and hand a backup copy to someone responsible. With so much going on the morning of your wedding, forgetting something as small in size but incredibly vital as your wedding vows can happen. Prepare a back up copy and give it to the officiant, wedding planner, or member of the bridal party just in case!

5. Save your family seats. Most guests know not to sit in the front few rows of your ceremony space, but there is always one or two who don’t think about it. Make sure the people who matter most have a clear view from a front row seat! This can be done either by having reserved seat signs placed on their designated chairs, or tying a ribbon with a reserved sign across the chairs intended for family. Have your wedding planner or day-of coordinator keep an eye on those seats prior to the ceremony just in case any guests miss the memo!

6. Let your family know where they are supposed to sit. Even if you aren’t designating “mine and yours” sides for guests to sit during the ceremony, designate sides for the immediate family members, especially if they are walking down the aisle! This will expedite the seating process for them and alleviate any confusion once they reach the front of the ceremony area. Make sure to let them know during ceremony rehearsal where they are supposed to sit!

7. Consider the ceremony space and assign sides for family members accordingly. In some spaces, if your family sits on the side that you stand they won’t be able to see your face! If this is the case, have them sit on the opposite side so they get a clear view of all those beautiful emotions you are going through!

8. Talk with your wedding party about where and how to stand throughout the ceremony. This is what rehearsals are for! Well, not just this, but this should definitely be discussed during the rehearsal! Let your wedding party know where to stand, what angle to stand, where to hold bouquets (belly button height), etc. so the guests have a clear view and the pictures look uniform and beautiful!

9. Talk with the Maid/Matron of honor about adjusting the bride once she gets to the altar. The maid/matron of honor will need to fluff the bride’s dress once she settles into her standing space for the ceremony. She will also need to retrieve the bride’s bouquet when it comes time to exchange vows and rings! If there is a veil, the maid/matron of honor can also adjust this so the bride looks polished and photo ready throughout the ceremony. This is another great thing to address while running through the ceremony rehearsal!

10. Make sure the MC or officiant makes an announcement for guests to sit close. If you have a large ceremony area that will accommodate a guest list much larger than yours, have all of the guests move in closer prior to the ceremony starting. Not only will this give everyone a better view, it will also translate to pictures better!

11. Some venues have restrictions on where your photographer can take pictures from. To avoid any last minute surprises, talk with your venue about any rules and restrictions they have in regards to photography. Typically only certain religious places of worship (and even then, usually only during certain times of year) are likely to have restrictions on photography.

12. Your officiant will be in a lot of your ceremony pictures, so their attire is important. Not only will they be in a lot of pictures, but they will stand front and center for all guests to see! Make sure they plan to wear something professional yet simple so they don’t take too much attention away from you.

13. Your officiant needs to MOVE IT when it comes time for the kiss. Communicate with your officiant about quickly sliding to the side, and taking their microphone stand with them, when it comes time for the kiss and your exit from the ceremony. 

14. Make sure whoever is in charge of your music knows all of the important cues. Discuss prior to your wedding day with the person who will be in charge of ceremony music. Let them know the signal for changing the processional songs and let them know the very last thing the officiant will say so they can use this as a cue for playing the recessional song.

15. Let your family and ushers know the exit strategy. Some pairs will need to change so  everyone needs to know who they will enter and exit with. They will also need to know when they are supposed to leave. Occasionally the officiant will dismiss the family, but usually the family begins exiting without a formal prompt following the ceremony.

16. Make sure someone is lined up to make two very important announcements to guests. Guests need to be asked to take their seats and released at the end of the ceremony by someone! This can either be the officiant or the MC. Make sure the person knows they are in charge of making this announcement, when to make the announcements, and is ready to provide clear instructions on where guests should go next.

17. Have a game plan for yourself after the ceremony. A common oversight is a predetermined space for the newly weds and wedding party to retreat to after the ceremony concludes. Map out a space beforehand so everyone knows the plan!

18. Set some time aside for yourselves directly following the ceremony. After the ceremony, if possible, carve out 5-15 minutes and a secluded space where just you and your new husband or wife can be alone to process the ceremony together. The rest of the day will be a whirlwind so giving yourself the gift of peace and quiet for even just a few moments makes a big difference in how you remember the ceremony! 

19. Ask your wedding planner, bartender, and/or caterer to have some snacks set aside for you in your hideaway space. Typically wedding party portraits and/or family portraits directly follow the ceremony, which leave you with little to no time to snack and have a drink. Ask your vendors to prepare something for you to enjoy while you take your 5-15 minute processing time so you can keep your energy level up! Make sure they give you some water, too!

All Things Wedding Officiant

A wedding ceremony is, in many ways, the single most important piece to a wedding. This is what brings all of your friends and family together to celebrate! When you become engaged you are agreeing to make a commitment through a marriage ceremony.  Agreeing to make this ceremonial commitment is the catalyst that inspires all of the additional pretty, fun, and functional aspects to your wedding day.  It is important to find an officiant that will preform a ceremony that aligns with your vision, values, and beliefs. Since the officiant will lead your wedding ceremony, and is typically in charge of writing the ceremony, this person will play a pivotal role in getting your marriage started on the right foot. Follow this guide to feel confident in the person you select to officiate your wedding!

This guide is divided into 3 sections:

1. Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding officiant

2. Questions to ask an officiant prior to booking

3. Ways to maximize your officiant’s services

Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding officiant

1. Officiants are called many things. A wedding officiant is any legally certified person delivering a wedding ceremony. This can be a religious leader, non-denominational ordained professional, or an ordained friend. Some of the most common names for officiants are:

   1. Officiant

   2. Celebrant

   3. Justice of the Peace

   4. Any religious leader (i.e. Priest, Rabbi, Preacher, Pastor, Swami, Minister, etc.)

2. Any person can officiate your wedding, but they must be ordained in order to legally marry you. Whoever is delivering your wedding ceremony must be ordained prior to your wedding ceremony, in order for your marriage to be legal. Becoming ordained online is easy and FREE! This is awesome news if you want a friend or family member to officiate your wedding! It is also a great reason to properly vet any person claiming to be a professional. Since it is so simple to obtain certification to legally perform marriages, essentially anyone can provide this service. Be sure to read reviews, gather samples of their work, have a clear understanding of the exact services they will provide, and ensure your personalities mesh well before hiring a professional wedding officiant.

3. Certain places of worship will require you to use their religious leader. If you find a chapel other than your usual place of worship, you may have to use their in-house worship leader to perform your ceremony. This is typically only an issue if you are hosting your wedding out of town and wish to fly your own religious leader in for your wedding. Confirm with your chapel prior to booking that this is okay! If you intend to be married at a place of worship, confirm with them their policies on outside vendors, prior to booking your officiant to avoid potentially loosing a deposit.

4. Certain religious leaders require both parties involved in the marriage be officially baptized (or the equivalent) into their faith. Most couples who come across this issue are already aware of this prior to becoming engaged. A couple important things to note on this topic:

   1. Just because some or most religious leaders of a certain faith require this, doesn’t mean that all leaders in your faith will. Finding someone who will do this may prove a challenge for certain religions, but they are out there!

   2. (Take or leave this point as you see fit…) If your fiance is uncomfortable changing religions, it isn’t a great idea to pressure them into switching. You are agreeing to marry this person because you love them for who they already are (and vice versa!). Their religious beliefs (or lack thereof) are a huge piece of who they are- so to change this, is to change them. If this proves to be a huge hinderance on wedding planning, seek the professional guidance of a marriage counselor whose services are rooted in any faith (especially neither of your own) for some unbiased support as you navigate this delicate territory.

   3. Sometimes neither of the engaged parties will really care about each other’s religious beliefs, but family members will. The best advice on this is to make your family feel heard by addressing their reasoning for wanting you to have certain religious aspects incorporated into your wedding, but ultimately remember and remind them that it is YOUR wedding and YOUR commitment, NOT your family’s. For more advice on this incredibly touchy subject, reference the “Managing Outside Opinions Surrounding Your Wedding” guide.

5. Certain religious leaders require you to take premarital counseling or classes with them prior to your wedding. Premarital counseling or classes are not a bad thing! They provide the opportunity to gauge how “on the same page” you and your fiance are by encouraging you to discuss your visions and plans for some of life’s common and major milestones prior to making a major commitment. However, you may not find counseling or classes necessary in your unique situation and these services almost always cost additional money. Check with your potential officiant for their policies and rates for these services. If your officiant doesn’t require premarital counseling or classes, you may still want to consider doing this! There are plenty of professionals out there offering premarital counseling completely separate from officiating services.

6. Most wedding ceremonies are customized by the officiant based on the couple they are intended for. The officiant will write your wedding ceremony. Many couples, especially those opting out of full religious ceremonies, will choose to write their own wedding vows. Aside from the vows, the officiant will plan the rest of the speaking. They usually include a little background on themselves, why they were chosen to officiate (i.e. “I’ve been a close friend…,” “I have been X’s Rabbi since they were little…” etc.), an anecdote about the couple, and some words of wisdom to the couple. Make sure you find someone who is going to write a beautiful ceremony that will put you and your guests in the right mindset for commitment!

7. You will likely watch the video of your ceremony many times throughout your life, make sure you find an officiant you want to hear over, and over again! Aside from the ceremony itself, make sure that you like your officiant's voice, speaking style, level of formality, and ceremony delivery style. You can do this by requesting sample videos from previous ceremonies! If you choose to have a friend or family member officiate, they don’t necessarily need to write the ceremony in its entirety. However, you probably won’t want to hear the whole ceremony prior to the wedding (the element of surprise in the moment makes the ceremony fun and extra special!). You can get around this by writing a decent portion of the ceremony, but leaving a section in the beginning blank for them to prepare something special. Alternatively, you can let them know specific things you’d like included (or left out!) to help guide their ceremony creation process. For example, if you love a particular quote or want special readings done you can ask them to include these in the ceremony.

8. If you choose a friend or family member to officiate, choose wisely! Choosing a significant person in your life to lead your wedding ceremony is a great way to add a level of personalization to your wedding. This is also a great way to save money, since becoming ordained online is free! If you are exploring the possibility of asking a friend or family member to officiant your wedding, there are a few key characteristics to consider before signing them up.

   1. Find a person that is close, but ideally not too close to either party being married. Being extremely close to one of the parties shouldn’t necessarily count out an individual as a possible officiant, but it does open the door for the person getting a little too emotional. A little emotion is great! It makes the ceremony that much more special! However, if you, your fiance, AND your officiant are all heavily crying throughout the ceremony you may need to take a lot of breaks and the ceremony may last longer than you anticipated. Alternatively, if you and your fiance aren’t big criers, having a blubbering officiant may seem out of place and alter the vibe you wanted for your ceremony. That being said, if a family member or very close friend is perfect in every other way and you’re confident they will have a very appropriate control over their emotions, they might just be the ideal person to lead your ceremony. In contrast, a person too emotionally distant from the couple may not take the role as seriously, may be unable to write a heartfelt and/or meaningful ceremony, and may not be in your lives down the road. A person in the sweet-spot will be close enough to be a constant presence throughout your lives, know enough to create a thoughtful and genuine ceremony, and be removed enough to keep the crying to a minimum.

   2. Are they a good public speaker? Think through how confident this person will be speaking in front of a crowd. Even if they are usually an outgoing and gregarious person, this won’t necessarily translate to public speaking. Does their job require them to speak publicly or give presentations? Do they have any experience speaking into a microphone? A few factors that will play into the overall success as a public speaker are experience, confidence, natural speaking volume, and meeting the perfect sweet spot in closeness to you.

   3. Will they respect the significance of the ceremony? Including a few jokes and taking a playful approach to delivering your wedding ceremony is totally fine, if that is what you want! However, there is a difference between keeping things light-hearted and playful vs. turning your wedding ceremony into a complete joke. You want to feel like you just made a meaningful commitment to one another at the end of your ceremony, not like you just were the butt of a joke.

   4. You want an officiant, not a character. This is an extension of the last point, but it is worth diving further into detail. Confidence and cockiness are two different things. When selecting an officiant, be hyperaware of the difference. If the person you are considering always seems to be “on” when around people, they are likely not the best person to officiate your wedding. Your wedding ceremony shouldn’t be an opportunity for your officiant to put on a show for the guests. If this person tends to be a “class clown” type, commands all of the attention when they walk into any room, or has an air of self-importance, you run the risk of them making your special moment about them, instead of about your love and commitment. Again, putting their own flavor, personality, and a level of playfulness into the ceremony is great! Taking advantage of a seated crowd and microphone access to practice their latest standup, is not so great.

   5. How likely is this person to adequately prepare for our wedding ceremony? If you have an individual in mind who is a great public speaker and will be respectful to the significance of the day, in theory they will adequately prepare. They will write a thoughtful and beautiful ceremony that matches your personalities and practice enough to deliver the ceremony like a true friend and professional! However, if you are considering someone with a notorious track record of procrastination, maybe keep searching.

   6. Make sure they are up for the task. Let them know what the job entails in-full, upfront before allowing them to commit. If you sense any hesitation, don’t pressure them! This is a big favor you are asking of someone, so if they don’t want to do it or they are worried about their ability to perform let them off the hook! Whenever you ask make sure they know they don’t have to officiate, but that you thought they would be a great and meaningful person for the job!

Questions to ask an officiant prior to booking

The basics-

1. Are you legally certified to marry people in my state? Through which institution did you receive your certificate?

2. Are you available on my date?

3. Can you work within my budget?

4. Do you require a deposit? How much?

5. When is the balance due?

6. What is your preferred method of payment?

7. What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?

8. What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?

9. What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?

10. What is the backup plan if you are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?

11. Are there any additional fees such as travel fees, delivery fees, etc. that are not included in the package price?

12. Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your staff and property?

Experience & style information-

1. How long have you been officiating weddings?

2. How many weddings do you typically officiate a weekend?

3. How many weddings do you typically officiate a year?

4. How do you identify religiously?

5. If you identify with a certain religion, how much of that religion is incorporated into the ceremonies you deliver? (Hint: Some non-denominational religious officiants will still incorporate mentions of God or prayers into the wedding ceremony. If this is something you’d like to minimize or avoid completely make sure they are willing to comply with this request!) 

6. If you don’t identify with any religion, can we still request a few mentions of God in our ceremony? (Hint: Some couples wishing to minimize mention of God, still want one or two references. If you find a non-religious officiant make sure that they are comfortable and willing to make this accommodation!)

The ceremony details-

1. Do you have a set ceremony script or will you customize our ceremony for us?

2. How do you create and customize our ceremony?

3. Are we allowed to have input in certain aspects of our ceremony? If so, how much input and on what aspects are we allowed to offer our opinions? (Hint: If you want any readings done by the officiant or a wedding guest, special ceremonies such as sand ceremony, glass ceremony, cord ceremony, etc., songs sung by friends or family, etc., be sure to confirm that the officiant is comfortable and willing to allow these things to happen!)

4. Can we write our own vows? Can you help us with this? If we decide we need support with our vows, how will you offer guidance?

5. How long do your ceremonies typically last? Can we shorten or extend this time if we were picturing something a little different?

6. When will you arrive on our wedding day?

7. What will you wear on our wedding day? (Hint: This person will be front and center for the duration of your ceremony, which makes them a focal point for your guests. They will also be in a lot of your ceremony pictures, so make sure their attire is something professional that won’t distract from you and your fiance!)

Pre-wedding access & requirements-

1. How many times will we meet before our wedding?

2. Will you attend our ceremony rehearsal?

3. Will you lead our ceremony rehearsal? (Hint: Oftentimes religious leaders of certain faiths prefer or require they lead ceremony rehearsals without any assistance from wedding coordinators or planners. If running the rehearsal is not included in your officiant’s services, your wedding planner or day-of coordinator will typically lead the ceremony rehearsal.)

4. Do you offer or require premarital counseling? Is there an additional fee for this service?

Ways to maximize your officiant’s services

1. Communicate your vision for the ceremony clearly. Whether you want long, short, deeply religious, no mention of religion, etc. let your officiant know! Be clear about your expectations so they can make adjustments accordingly.

2. Meet with your officiant and tell them a little about yourselves! In order for a ceremony to be personal, the officiant needs the opportunity to get to know you and your fiance. When you meet with your officiant, give them some details about how you met, some important chapters in your relationship’s history, and a good idea of who you are as individuals and a couple.

3. Do some research on your own into wedding ceremonies. Not only will this help you find things you want to incorporate into your own ceremony, but it will also give you an idea of things you don’t want included in your ceremony. Even if you don’t find anything you’d like included verbatim, you may find general ideas or even smaller ceremonies (i.e. sand ceremony, cord ceremony, glass ceremony, etc.) to incorporate into your overall ceremony. 

4. Write your vows and share them with your officiant. Some officiants will offer feedback on your wedding vows. If they do, take advantage of this service! Make sure your words are coherent and cohesive to a third party and will fit into the time you have chosen to allot for your overall ceremony. 

All Things Wedding Photographer

You spend months planning and preparing for your big day, and then just like that it comes and goes. The pictures (and potentially video) are the only concrete things you will have left to remember all of the special little moments that flew by. Your wedding photographer is an investment in your memories! When it comes to booking a photographer there are so many things to consider in order to feel confident in your selection. Follow this guide to have a positive experience from start to finish with your wedding photographer!

This article is divided into 4 sections:

1. Things to consider about wedding photographers

2. Questions to ask a photographer prior to booking

3. What to do after booking to maximize the photographers services

4. An example photo shot list

Things to consider about wedding photographers

1. A wedding photographer is different from other photographers. Wedding photography requires a specific skill set that develops after working many weddings. They need to anticipate reactions, micro-events, and opportune moments for raw emotion. A professional wedding photographer has also mastered the skill of being in the right place at the right time, while avoiding stepping into the way of the bridal party or other professionals. They also are there to capture your emotion on a very important day. In order to do this properly, it takes a practiced eye! Wedding photographers also often are capturing individuals who aren’t used to being in front of a camera. Their experience helps make their clients feel comfortable expressing those incredible emotions in front of the camera and posing the couples who are a little camera shy!

2. There are a million photography and editing styles out there. Wedding photography looks so different from photographer to photographer. Before diving into your photographer search, be sure to do a little research into the various styles. This will help direct your search and guide your selection process.

3. Check for photo clarity when browsing albums. No matter what style of photography you are drawn to, check for photo clarity. This offers insight not only into skill and experience level, but also quality of equipment! Photo clarity is a good sign of a highly experienced, skilled individual working with great equipment! There are plenty of opportunities for action shots and of course those may be a little less clear than the still photos, but there should still be a general consistency of clarity amongst their photos. 

4. Make sure your contract protects you. This is true for all vendors, but it is especially common to find vague or ambiguous wording in photography contracts. Time frames for photo return, a minimum amount of deliverable photos, and additional costs (should you choose to add a service later) should be specifically outlined in your contract. If you love a photographer and find that this information is missing from their contract, ask for it to be added! If they refuse to add in concrete deliverable information, this is a pretty big warning sign that they aren’t confident in the promises they are making! 

5. Be mindful when negotiating pricing. Providing and valuing a service is a daunting task for an artistic professional. These professionals spend years perfecting their craft and adjust their pricing based on their ever evolving skill level and demand for service. If you fall in love with a vendor who is out of your price range, it never hurts to ask if they can accommodate your budget. The key here though is asking and understanding if they aren’t able to make this accommodation. 

6. Always look through a few full albums before booking. Everyone wants to put their best foot forward, so the photographs included on each professional's website is going to be what they consider to accurately and positively reflect their work. Occasionally,  photographers will link a full album or two on their website, but more often than not they will include just the highlights. There is nothing wrong with only including the highlights on their website! There is plenty of reason to do so! Typically you can find at least anywhere from 15-50 photos from past weddings on photographers’ websites to give an example of their work and hopefully entice you enough to reach out. However, 15-50 particularly gorgeous photos are not enough to gauge the consistency of quality in their work. Request a few full albums to peruse (they will almost always happily provide these- if they don’t, be concerned!). Look through the full albums to make sure they are consistent with the quality they exemplify on their website!

7. Talk to the professional either in person or on the phone prior to booking. This is true for all vendors, but especially important with your photographer. Your photographer will be spending the entire day with you, so it is very important to find someone whose personality meshes with yours.

8. Understand the difference between posed photos and authentic moments. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to capturing authentic moments vs. posed photos, but there is value in understanding the difference as a consumer. If you like being told how and where to stand, that is totally fine! Just be sure that you find a photographer who has experience doing this! If you prefer minimal or no posed photos, look for raw emotion and authentic moments captured in the full albums! Typically wedding photographers will favor one of these styles over the other, but include at least a little of both in your wedding photos.

9. The price you pay is not just for your wedding day. Photographers spend a lot of time on their clients. They dedicate time prior to the wedding to study your personalities, timeline, and shot list in order to be fully prepared to capture your day. After the wedding, they pour hours of time and energy into sifting through thousands of photos, finding the very best shots, and editing accordingly. They also invest a lot of money back into maintaining and upgrading their equipment to ensure they are providing the best service possible. Take all of this into consideration when discussing price! Depending on the professional and your wedding day timeline, they will have often spent upwards of 40 hours working on your wedding! Above all else, you are paying for an accurate representation of how the day unfolded so you can reminisce for years to come!

Questions to ask prior to booking a photographer

Pro-tip: Not all of these questions will be necessary in every situation. Some may not be applicable to you and a lot of this may be answered on your photographer’s website or pricing menu. Be sure to carefully select the questions that are relevant to your unique situation to avoid overwhelming yourself and the photographer with too much information!

Package Insight-

1. Are you available on my date?

2. Does your package include a second photographer? If I’d like to add a second (or third!) shooter, what is the cost for an additional shooter?

3. How many hours are included in your package?

4. What do you charge for additional hours?

5. Does your wedding package include an engagement session? If not, what is the cost of booking this separately?

6. How many edited photos can I expect back from my engagement session?

7. How many edited photos can I expect back from my wedding?

8. Do you provide “sneak peeks” for either the engagement session and/or the wedding?

9. If so, how many typically are provided in the “sneak peek” for each?

10. What is the turnaround time for my “sneak peek” photos?

11. What is the turnaround time for my full wedding album?

12. Will I have access to the raw photos?

13. How do you deliver the photos?

14. Will the images be accessible online? For how long?

15. Will the online photo gallery be shareable so I can give my friends and family access?

16. Are albums or prints included in your package? How many pages or prints are included? Will you be selecting the photos in the album or will we? What is the turnaround time?

17. If prints and/or albums are not included in your package, do we have the option to order them directly from you at an additional cost? If so, what is the additional cost?

18. Do you retain any of the rights to the photos?

19. What do the rights you retain mean for me?

20. Will you be posting any of our photos on your website and social media? 

21. Will you need our separate permission to submit the photos to any third party publication or will you already have those rights according to the contract?

22. Do you charge a travel fee? If so, how much and for what distance?

Experience-

1. How long have you been a professional photographer?

2. How long have you been a wedding photographer?

3. How many weddings have you photographed?

4. How many weddings do you typically have in a single weekend?

5. Have you worked at my venue before? If not, will you attend a venue walk through to scout out ideal photo locations?

6. Can we see a few recent full wedding galleries? (Hint: ask to see at least 2-3 full albums and take a really good look through them!)

Style-

1. How would you describe your photography style?

2. How do you describe your working style? Are you in the background capturing the events unfolding around you? Are you more active in posing people?

3. What kind of camera do you use?

4. How will you and your team dress? (Hint: keep in mind that your photographer will be doing a lot of moving around, so while they should still dress appropriately for a wedding they typically don't dress as formally as the guests.)

5. Can we request a list of specific shots we would like?

6. How many photos do you typically capture throughout the course of a wedding day? (Hint: this is different from the amount of pictures returned according to your contract. This is the full amount they will be sifting through to choose which ones to edit. If the photographer gives you access to all of the raw photos, this number will be more relevant to you.)

7. Do you have experience working at indoor and/or outdoor venues and how do you compensate or play up the lighting?

Logistics-

1. When will we receive the contract?

2. How much do you require for a deposit? When is it due?

3. What is your payment schedule like? (I.e. When is the remaining balance due? Hint: most photographers take payments in 2-3 installments: 1st payment is the deposit, the remainder is due at varying times before the wedding. The exact payment schedule varies from photographer to photographer.)

4. What is your refund or cancellation policy if I cancel?

5. What is your refund or cancellation policy if you cancel?

6. Do you have liability insurance? Does it cover your second shooter and assistant(s), as well?

7. Do you carry backup equipment?

8. What is the backup plan if you are unable to personally work my wedding for any reason? Is this written into the contract?

9. Do you have experience working with a videographer? If so, how do you work with and around each other to ensure everyone is able to capture the important moments in full?

Bonuses-

1. Do you offer any additional services, like a photo booth or videography?

2. If you don’t personally offer videography, do you have a videographer you recommend?

3. Are you available to photograph any pre-wedding events (i.e. bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, engagement party, etc.)? If so, what are the rates for these?

Maximizing your photographer’s services

What to do after booking your wedding photographer

1. Schedule an engagement session. Engagement sessions are great for a few reasons. First, the photos they generate are great for save the dates, invitations, and your wedding website. Second, the engagement session is the perfect time to get to know your photographer a little bit better. Familiarity is comforting, and you want to be comfortable on your wedding day! Forming a foundational relationship with this professional during an engagement session is a great opportunity to become familiar with each other so you are comfortable spending your wedding day with them! Third, your engagement pictures will give you an idea of how your photographer’s style will translate to you. While the engagement pictures typically have a slightly different feel to them than the wedding photos, this is still the perfect chance to see how your photographer captures you (and make suggestions if necessary)!

2. Build your wedding day timeline and be sure to schedule adequate time to capture all of your desired shots. Photographers are usually happy to offer feedback on your timeline based on what you are expecting from the photos. If you want a lot of bridal party pictures, extended family pictures, sunset pictures, etc., you will need to allocate plenty of time to make sure you are setting the photographer up for success! If the timeline is tight you may have to cut your desired posed photo list down a bit or shift things to accommodate the desired photo list. 

3. Consider what photos you really want captured, and communicate this with the photographer. It is fairly common for couples to prepare a “shot-list” of desired photos they’d like. While it is nearly impossible to guarantee those exact moments will be captured (guest cooperation, guest availability, timing, etc. will affect the ability for these desired photos to be captured), providing a “shot-list” will certainly make it much more feasible! This list doesn’t have to be long if you aren’t particular about what photos you’d like. Your photographer is a professional and will do an amazing job capturing your day without a guideline. However, if you are passionate about a few (or many!) shots, provide them with a list so they can do everything in their power to capture all of the moments and details you’d like pictures of! Check out our sample shot list in the next section!

Example shot list

Getting Ready

1. Bride and bridesmaids arriving to getting ready location

2. Bride's dress and/or robe hanging in a photogenic space

3. All of the bridesmaids’ dresses hanging together

4. Bride’s hair and makeup being done (either by the professionals or stage a bridesmaid doing touch ups for the picture)

5. Bridesmaids’ hair and makeup being done

6. Bride re-reading vows to herself

7. Bridesmaid pouring champagne

8. Bride and bridesmaids toasting

9. Bride with bridesmaids after hair and makeup is done but before formal attire is put on (in robes or other getting ready attire)

10. Wedding invitation with bride’s jewelry and bouquet

11. Mom helping bride with a final detail, (either putting on the veil, zipping up the dress, or putting on a necklace)

12. Full-length photo of the bride in her dress looking in a mirror

13. Dress detail shot (i.e. lace, embellishments, buttons, etc.)

14. Picture(s) of shoes, rings, garter, jewelry, or other small pieces

15. Emotional moment of bride with significant family members (i.e. siblings, parents, grandparents, step-parents, etc.)

16. Bride with all the women present for getting ready

17. Groom getting ready with groomsmen and/or family

18. Dad or Best Man tying the groom’s tie

19. Emotional moment of groom with significant family members (i.e. siblings, parents, grandparents, step-parents, etc.)

20. Groom with all the groomsmen

21. Groom’s mom putting his boutonniere on

22. Groomsmen putting on boutonnieres, ties, and jackets

23. First look or touch picture with bride and groom

24. Bride with the flower girl

25. Groom with the ring bearer

The Ceremony

1. The ceremony space before anyone enters

2. Guests arriving and finding their seats

3. The altar before anyone is standing there

4. Groom waiting to walk down the aisle

5. Close-up of groom waiting for bride at the altar

6. Processional pictures of the bridal party, family members, and kiddos walking down the aisle

7. Wedding party waiting at the altar

8. Bride and escort before walking down the aisle

9. Bride and escort walking down the aisle

10. Groom’s face as he sees the bride at the end of the aisle

11. Bride and groom at the altar

12. Altar from the back during ceremony

13. Wide shot of audience during ceremony, from bride and groom's point of view

14. Close-ups of the bride and groom while exchanging vows

15. Close-ups of bride's and groom's hands when they exchange rings

16. The kiss (Pro-tip: make sure your officiant knows to move to the side so they aren’t in this shot!)

17. Bride and groom recessing up the aisle, guests' smiling in the background

18. Group shot with all guests still in seats once bride and groom get to the end of the aisle

19. Bride and groom outside ceremony site

20. Celebration shots: the bride and groom hugging, laughing, and crying with good friends and family immediately following the ceremony

21. Bride, groom, officiant, and witnesses signing the marriage license

Cocktail hour (OR before the ceremony if you are doing a first look and have extra time)

1. Bride and groom together (Pro-tip: don’t spend too much time at this point on just you two! Save some of these for sunset!)

2. Bride with her parents and/or stepparents

3. Bride & groom with the bride’s entire immediate family 

4. Groom with his parents and/or stepparents

5. Bride and groom with the groom’s entire immediate family

6. Bride and groom with all parents

7. Bride and groom with immediate family members from both sides

8. Bride and groom with groomsmen (serious and playful pictures)

9. Bride and groom with bridesmaids (serious and playful pictures)

10. Bride and bridesmaids holding their bouquets together

11. Bride and groom with whole wedding party (serious and playful pictures)

12. Guests enjoying amenities at cocktail hour (i.e. appetizers, drinks, games, etc.)

13. Bride’s and groom’s rings together
    

The Reception

1. Shot from outside reception venue

2. Empty reception room once all details are finished before guests enter

3. Reception design details such as welcome sign, place cards, seating chart, guest book, centerpieces, sweetheart table, decorations, place settings, guests favors, champagne glasses, the bar, buffet being set up

4. Guests taking their seats

5. Bride and groom arriving at reception venue

6. Grand entrance

7. Bride and groom at the sweetheart table

8. Parents' table

9. Guests' tables

10. Sunset/golden hour pictures with bride and groom (typically start about 15 mins prior to true sunset and lasts 15 minutes after)

11. Close-up of friends and family making toasts

12. Bride and groom listening, laughing, and crying during toasts

13. Bride and groom visiting with the guests while everyone is seated for dinner (table pictures)

14. Bride and groom's first dance

15. Parents dancing

16. Bride and Dad dancing

17. Groom and Mom dancing

18. Wedding party dancing

19. Grandparents dancing

20. Kids playing and dancing

21. Vendors making everything perfect behind the scenes

22. Guests getting it on the dance floor

23. Cake and/or dessert table

24. Bride and groom cutting the cake

25. Bride and groom feeding each other cake 

26. Bouquet toss

27. Retrieving, tossing, and catching of the garter

28. Picture with the bouquet and garter catchers

29. Bride and groom dancing with the guests

30. Grand exit

Rehearsal Dinner Planning Guide

Wedding day is right around the corner! A ceremony rehearsal is almost always necessary in order to get the bridal party and family members on the same page about how the ceremony, and the day as a whole, will run. This time is a great opportunity to share the timeline, ceremony details, and other pertinent information that you won’t want to spend time explaining on the actual wedding day. 

Rehearsal dinner usually immediately follows the ceremony rehearsal and is typically the final gathering of friends and family prior to the big day. Below is a planning guide to help you manage the who, what, when, where, why, and how of this event. Follow this guide or share it with the event host for a smooth rehearsal dinner planning experience! 

What is the purpose of rehearsal dinner?

This event is intended to gather your bridal party and immediate family in an intimate setting before the big day. Oftentimes family or bridal party members travel for your wedding and/or take time away from work or other obligations to attend the rehearsal and celebrate your love. This is an opportunity to show thanks for all that your bridal party and family have done for you!

When should the rehearsal dinner take place?

Rehearsal dinner typically occurs directly following the ceremony rehearsal. This means that it will take place either the night before or a few days prior to your wedding. While it is called “rehearsal dinner” it doesn’t necessarily have to be a dinner. If you host the rehearsal earlier in the day, it can be a rehearsal brunch or lunch. If you want something a little less formal you can have a rehearsal “happy hour” or something similar that implies a gathering that doesn’t necessarily include a full meal.

Pro-tip #1: Know your friends and plan accordingly. If you have a bridal party that likes to drink heavily, host the event two days before your wedding instead of the night before. No one wants a hungover bridal party on their wedding day! If this isn’t an option, limit the alcohol provided to wine and beer only.

Example rehearsal dinner planning timeline-

6 months prior to the wedding- 

Create a guest list for the rehearsal dinner

Decide on the general “feel” for your rehearsal dinner (formal, casual, something in between?)

Contact ceremony venue and confirm rehearsal date

Find & book a venue to host the dinner

3 months prior to the wedding-

Consider how you want to invite your guests to rehearsal dinner

Order invitations if necessary

2 months prior to the wedding- 

Send out invitations to rehearsal dinner (send these sooner if a lot of guests are traveling so they can book travel arrangements accordingly!)

1 month prior to the wedding-

Find decor for rehearsal dinner

Select attire for rehearsal dinner

1 day(ish) prior to the wedding- 

Host ceremony rehearsal

Host rehearsal dinner

Who hosts the rehearsal dinner?

Traditionally the groom’s parents take on this task, but the host can be anyone, and completely depends on your situation. If the groom’s parents aren’t able to host- or if you have two brides-, it can be the bride’s parents, other relatives, or even yourselves! The bridal party doesn’t typically take charge of this event, since the event is intended as a “thank you” for them. 

How should I invite people?

As always, there are no set rules. Sending formal invitations by mail is great if you have the time and wiggle room in the budget, but not necessary by any means! Many other wedding blogs and older generations would strongly disagree with me on this, though, so be prepared for a host coming from an older generation to find formal invitations necessary. Since the guest list is typically just those absolutely closest to you, invitations can easily be sent via email, Facebook, or even a quick text!

No matter how you choose to spread word about the party, the invitations do not need to be as formal as the wedding invitations. These invitations also do not need to be a reflection of your wedding design in any way, though they usually do incorporate aspects of your wedding design. You, or the host, can pick whatever aesthetic makes you all happy!

Pro-tip #2: If you and your host disagree on how invitations should be sent, choosing to mail more casual invitations with bright colors and fun fonts can be a good compromise!

Pro-tip #3: Take this one with a grain of salt, but… pick and choose your battles. There will probably be plenty of opinions coming your way about the wedding that you will need to navigate. If the host of this event feels really strongly about the invitations, this may not be the hill to die on. 

Who should be invited?

Who you invite depends on the overall feel you are going for. Typically it is just your immediate family and anyone who is walking down the aisle (in other words, any one who needs to attend the ceremony rehearsal). 

Here is a general outline of who is typically invited:

• Your bridal party AND a guest*

  *Not everyone has to have a guest. If they have traveled out of town with a “plus one” to your wedding, that person is usually invited to the rehearsal dinner. If you are good friends with their significant other, that person should be invited. If they are scrolling through Tinder and find someone they’d like to invite... you DEFINITELY don’t need to invite them. 

• Your immediate families (if your relationship with them allows for this)

• If the host has a larger budget and you have a large wedding guest list (usually applicable if 250+), occasionally extended family who traveled from out of town will be invited too. If you invite your out of town extended family, most people will include their in town relatives as well.

What information should the invitations include?

As always, names, date, location, and time will need to be included on the invitation. The host should also specify what kind of refreshments can be expected (appetizers only, full dinner, hosted bar, BYOB, no alcohol, etc.) Be sure to include the time and location of the actual ceremony rehearsal, too!

The rehearsal dinner host may also want to include their name and that is totally fine! People will often word the invites “The parents/aunt/cousin/friend/etc. of X invite you to the wedding rehearsal of their daughter/son/other to [Fiance name here] [list time and location]. Dinner to follow [list time and location].”

Information at a glance:

• Bride(s) & Groom(s) names

• Date

• Ceremony rehearsal time

• Ceremony rehearsal location

• “Dinner to follow at……”

• Rehearsal dinner time

• Rehearsal dinner location

Who should pay for the rehearsal dinner?

The cost of the rehearsal dinner typically will fall on the host. This varies on a case by case basis depending on financial situations. Some hosts may ask you to pay for a portion of the rehearsal dinner. If you cannot afford to fund any portion of the party, let the host know, and suggest a more casual or smaller rehearsal dinner to accommodate their budget! Much like the actual wedding, budget isn’t what defines the day. The most important aspect is celebrating your love while surrounded by the people who mean the most to you and your fiance! (See the end of blog for full example budget breakdowns.)

Where should the rehearsal dinner be hosted?

The rehearsal dinner can be hosted in any location, it will just depend on the size of the guest list, access to space, and budget. While the event can be as formal or informal as the host would like, they are usually hosted at a restaurant near the wedding venue. Choosing a private room in a restaurant can often be less expensive since so much will be included (i.e. in house catering, tables, chairs, flatware, plates, napkins, drinkware, bar, centerpieces, etc.) If a restaurant is not in the budget, a casual backyard get together is not out of the norm!

Pro-tip #4: Since the ceremony rehearsal usually takes place at the ceremony venue, it is most convenient for guests if rehearsal dinner is held at a restaurant or other location nearby. 

What should we do at the rehearsal dinner?

Eat, drink, and socialize! The rehearsal is a great opportunity to distribute gifts to the bridal party and family. It is also the perfect time to allow bridal party members who will not be giving toasts at the wedding to give a quick speech!

Is a full meal expected at the rehearsal dinner?

YES! This does not mean you have to include one, but if you do not plan to serve a full dinner, communicate that with your guests so they can plan accordingly.

Rehearsals are typically a nicer meal, but that doesn’t mean yours has to be! A backyard BBQ or quick pizza party is completely acceptable! If the host wants to go all out and provide a full 5 course, sit down dinner, that is fine, too. As long as they are paying for it, and you are comfortable with it, there are no right or wrong answers as to what should be served.

What should be included in the budget?

This completely depends on what the budget allows for and what the host chooses to include! Below are some typical things to consider budgeting for:

• Venue

• Catering

• Tables, chairs, plates, cups, flatware, napkins, etc. 

• Bar

• Cake/dessert

• Invitations

• Decor

• Miscellaneous 

Of course there are endless approaches to maximize any budget! Below are 3 example budgets for rehearsal dinners.

Example 1 (the “bells and whistles” example)- overall budget $9k

40 guests, 2.5 hour party

Party Planner- $850

Venue- Nice Restaurant (includes tables, chairs, plates, flatware, cups, and food)- @ $100/person = $4,000

Bar (through venue- beer, wine, & top shelf liquor)- @ $30/person = $1,200

Photographer- $500

Music/entertainment (Live guitarist & singer)- $600

Cake from speciality bakery (2 tier 6” base, 4” top tier)- $450

Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$5/household = $90

Decor- $1,300

1 large balloon display $200

Florist (garland runners for tables & 2 accent pieces)- $1,000

Signage (welcome sign, seating chart, place cards, etc.)- $150

TOTAL: $8,995

Example 2 (the “mid range” example)- overall budget $2k

40 guests, 2.5 hour party

Venue- mid range restaurant (includes tables, chairs, plates, flatware, cups, and food)- @ $30/person = $1,200

Bar (through venue- beer & wine only)- @ $15/person = $600

Music/entertainment (restaurant music)- FREE

Dessert provided by restaurant, included in per person cost- NO EXTRA FEE

Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$2/household = $60

Decor- $65

DIY Trader Joe’s flowers 4 bushels @ $5/each- $20

Dollar tree vases, 5 @ $1/each = $5

Signage (enlarged poster of engagement pic, printed at Costco)- $40

TOTAL: $1,922

Example 3 (the “ballin’ on a budget” example)- overall budget $350

40 guests, 2.5 hour party

Venue (backyard) - FREE

Catering (pizza party! 10 pizzas @ $13/each + tip)- $150

Tables & chairs (use friend’s folding tables & chairs, buy dollar tree table covers)- $10

Plates, plasticware, and drinkware (use disposable- comes with pizza)- FREE

Bar (6 cases of beer @$15/each)- $90

Music (make playlist and set up your own speaker)- FREE

Cake/dessert (single tier, local grocer)- $35

Invitations (Send out email or create Facebook event)- FREE

Decor- $50

DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 5 bushels @ $5/bushel = $25

Dollar store vases 1 per table @$1/each = $8

Candles & dollar tree candle votives (2 per table)- $2/each = $16

TOTAL: $335

As you can see, the third example can easily decrease in price by only offering BYOB, cutting out all decor, skipping dessert and/or ordering cheaper pizza. Basically this is all to say, no budget is too small!

32 Questions to Ask A wedding Coordinator & Everything Else to Know Before Booking

Planning a wedding takes time, vision, and a lot of determination. When the day comes, all of the effort is worth it when you finally see everything you have worked and dreamed so hard for, come together. On the wedding day there are so many moving pieces that need to be managed, but you will be busy getting married and having fun! A wedding coordinator will take care of all the behind the scenes details to make sure everything is going according to plan. 

When selecting a wedding coordinator it is important to find a professional who is willing to take the time to fully understand your vision in order to perfectly execute your plan! If you can find someone who is up for the task, you will walk into your wedding venue and see all of those pieces have fallen into place.

In order to gauge if a professional has the ability to accomplish this, there are several questions that can be asked prior to booking to effectively vet the professional you are interested in. Please note- a lot of these questions may be answered on the professional’s website. Asking too many questions may land you with an overwhelming amount of information! Be sure to ask the necessary questions so you are able to gather important information that will help guide your decision!

*Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no cost to you.*

What’s the difference between a wedding coordinator & a wedding planner?

A wedding planner lives up to their name! They plan your wedding, either for you or along side you depending on the professional and the level of support you require/prefer. They are there for everything: design, budgeting, pacing planning, vendor research & selection, and, of course, they’re there to ensure your wedding reflects YOU! Wedding planners are typically booked early on in the wedding planning process OR if a couple has begun planning but find they need support to complete the wedding plan.

A wedding coordinator is present on your wedding day to ensure all of the wedding plans come together. A wedding coordinator is perfect for couples who have found their venue & all of their vendors, thought through the logistics and simply need someone to step in on the actual wedding day to run the show so the couple and their loved ones can focus on celebrating and having fun instead of working. Their primary goal is to function as the point person to field all questions and oversee the execution of the day while acting as the liaison between the plan, the vendors, and you. Usually a day-of coordinator is booked anytime from 1-18 months prior to a wedding and begins working closely with a couple 1-4 weeks prior to their wedding to ensure the day runs smoothly and according to the couple’s vision.

Services included in a wedding coordination package-

Standard-

1. Timeline creation

2. A venue walkthrough prior to the wedding (especially if they are unfamiliar with the venue)

3. Collecting all vendor information from you

4. Distributing the timeline, floor plan, & other pertinent information to vendors 1-4 weeks prior to your wedding

5. Collecting copies of insurance (and other documents required by a venue) from vendors & passing this information along to the venue

6. Serving as the “team captain” of all the vendors on the day of the wedding to ensure everyone arrives on time, sets up where they are supposed to, follows any house rules provided by a wedding venue, and acting as the liaison between the couple and vendors to follow the timeline

7. Fielding any hiccups that may occur and making decisions to problem solve

Common, but not necessarily expected-

1. Floor plan creation (typically the venue or client is responsible for this with a day-of coordination package)

2. Providing an emergency bridal kit with a variety of items that commonly prove to be necessary at weddings

3. Attending meetings with you and the vendors

4. Communicating with vendors on your behalf regarding specific details pertaining to your wedding

5. Provide a specialized timeline for the wedding party and family members

6. Ceremony rehearsal coordination

7. Providing decor items

8. Decor set-up & breakdown (minimal decor set-up is often included, though anything beyond very basic decor set-up crosses over into the territory of a wedding decorator’s services. Wedding coordinators and wedding decorators are not the same job!)

Not common, but definitely an asset if included-

1. Assessing & offering feedback on vendor contracts

2. Collecting information regarding your balances with vendors, payment date with vendors, preferred payment method of vendors, vendor meal requirements, etc. to pass along to you and/or the venue

3. Reviewing order lists with rental companies, florists, caterers, etc. to ensure everything your event requires is accounted for

4. Discussing details to ensure you’ve got everything for the day-of covered even outside of ceremony & reception prep, execution, & clean-up

5. Full decor set-up and break down (including items exceeding 50lbs in weight & items requiring a ladder to install)

6. Extensive & specific decor creation or inclusion (i.e. sign creation, menu & placard creation, large rentals including tables, chairs, etc., decor extending beyond table numbers & candle votives, etc.)

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Questions to ask a wedding coordinator before booking-

The basics-

1. Are you available on my date?

2. How much do your services cost?

3. What services do you offer, what are the differences between your packages, and what package will be the best fit for my needs?

4. Are there any additional fees?

Experience & expectations-

1. How long have you been a wedding coordinator?

2. How long have you been a wedding coordinator in my area?

3. How many weddings do you take on in a single weekend?

4. Will you personally be at my event?

5. What would you say your wedding coordinating “style” is?

6. Can you tell me about a wedding that you coordinated that you are particularly proud of?

7. What is your experience with problem solving?

8. Can you give me an example of something that went wrong at a wedding and how you handled it?

9. If we run into any issues throughout the planning process, what level of advocacy can we expect from since we are booking a day of coordination package?

10. How much access will I have to you throughout the planning period?

11. After I book, what are the next steps to working together?

12. When will we begin working together regularly?

Package questions-

1. With the day of coordination package, do you offer any support prior to the wedding day?

2. Will you collect, organize, and distribute important information such as vendor insurance info, vendor balances & due dates, vendor meal requirements, etc?

3. Will you attend venue walk throughs, vendor meetings, etc. throughout the wedding planning?

4. Will you create a day of timeline?

5. Will you provide the other vendors with this timeline? If so, when will this timeline be created and sent to the other vendors?

6. Will you create a timeline to provide to the family and bridal party? If so, when will this be created and distributed?

7. How many assistants will be present on my wedding day?

8. Do you include decor set up and breakdown in your package? Are there any limitations to this?

9. Will you help manage vendors on the day-of including arrival, set-up, timeline management, and breakdown times?

10. How much communication do you typically have with the other vendors leading up to the wedding date?

11. Will you take care of payment for outstanding balances on the wedding day? How does this process typically look when working with you?

12. Do you provide an emergency bridal kit in case something unexpected arises?

13. What kind of items are in the emergency bridal kit?

14. Will the provide additional resources that may be beneficial to you throughout your planning process?

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The logistics-

1. Do you have insurance to provide to a venue if necessary?

2. Do you require a vendor meal(s)?

3. If we have any issues with vendors following the wedding are you able to advocate for us as a day of coordinator?

4. Do you have any references?

Things to consider when looking for a wedding coordinator-

1. You more or less get what you pay for- If someone quotes you $500 for the same package that someone else is quoting at $2k, there is likely a large difference in experience. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the quality of work will be significantly different, but it is a very strong possibility. 

2. Day-of coordination should really include month-of coordination- Your day of coordinator will need to begin working with you closely in the weeks immediately preceding your wedding to properly coordinate with vendors and manage the day successfully. They will need to create your timeline (or at least have the opportunity to review it), connect with vendors about arrival times and accurate contact information, discuss design detail with you, review order lists from other vendors, etc. There are a lot of small moving pieces, even with the simplest of weddings! Make sure that the coordinator you are looking into is willing to do the appropriate amount of leg work leading up to your wedding to do the best job possible!

3. Some day-of coordinators are strictly day-of only- It can be challenging to jump in essentially blind on the wedding day with nothing but a timeline and vendor contact list provided by the client, however a very small number of coordinators do this. They are typically a lower cost and don’t provide the same level of execution that someone who spends time getting acquainted with the plan prior to the wedding. These coordinators are hard to find, because it truly is not a method that will consistently set the professional up for success. The professionals who offer this kind of service are typically either inexperienced and/or offer a very “bare-bones” approach to their day of coordination packages. If you feel that your wedding is extremely straightforward and are looking for a day-of service only, be very careful selecting a coordinator who says they will take this approach! Even if you feel this is what you need, there is a reason it is a rare form of service to find!

4. Not every package will include the same amount of support- As extension to the last point, coordinators have a very wide range of what will be included in their packages. Some wedding coordinators will do all of your decor set up and break down. Some will only communicate and coordinate with vendors and nothing more. A lot of wedding coordinators will do something in between. Make sure that you are realistically considering what kind of service you will need before booking!

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Things to do after booking your wedding coordinator-

1. Discuss what information they will require and when they need to receive this information. Wedding coordinators will typically need all of your vendor contact information, vendor contracts, “house rules” or venue protocols, a floor plan (unless they include the creation of this in their package), order forms from rentals, florals, caterers, etc., a list of decor you are personally providing, the ceremony information (i.e. walking order for the processional, seating plan for immediate family/VIPs, etc.), and a timeline (unless they include creation of one in their package). Depending on the specific coordinator you have booked, they may require more information.

2. Discuss what kind of questions you can come to them with throughout your planning process. Typically day-of coordinators are only readily available for support about a month or so prior to your wedding. Certain coordinators (myself included) make themselves available to answer questions regarding general vendor recommendations, reviewing vendor contracts, and discussing any variety of factors that may alter or shift your timeline.

3. Ask how often you can expect them to touch base. Day-of coordinators typically will reach out roughly a month prior to your wedding, but depending on the specific coordinator and how far in advance you’ve booked they may reach out intermittently to check in.

4. Move forward accordingly! Be mindful of the services included in your coordinator’s package and respectful of your coordinator’s time. Most coordinators offer full wedding planning or partial wedding planning packages. This makes them a great resource and a wealth of information, but also can present the opportunity for clients to surpass “coordination” questions and begin dabbling in “planning” questions/requests. If the coordinator has made themselves available to answer questions or offer support, then fabulous! Ask away! Keep in mind, they are going above and beyond the official role of coordinator because they care about YOU and YOUR wedding! If the coordinator feels the questions and level of support being asked of them is beyond what is included in the package you have booked, they may require you to increase the package to partial or full planning package, or simply tell you they are unable to provide the level of support you are requesting given the package you have booked. This is not a bad thing! If you require more support, ask to increase your package with them so that you can feel supported throughout the wedding planning process and confident in the plans you are making.

Save the Dates, Invitations, and a bit on RSVPs

Sending out Save the Dates and Invitations are SUCH fun parts of wedding planning. For so many people this is the first step that makes everything feel real. Soak in these vital steps, and feel confident you are doing it right by reading the information below!

Before reading on, here are two super useful tips!

Pro-tip #1: A common mistake people make is ordering for guest count instead of household.

Mistake: ordering 250 invitations for 250 guests

Pro planning: ordering 1 invitation per household (i.e average household 3 people/house: 250 divided by 3 = ~83 Save the Dates and invitations)

Pro-tip #2: Order extra! You may want to invite additional people and you will probably want one for keepsake. While you still don’t need to order one for every single guest, rounding up is always good in case you make new friends, have people drop out that you want to replace, or just want a few extra for your own (or parents, family, close friends, etc.) keepsake! Another huge pro to this- the big name stationary sites base their discounts on round numbers, so ordering 100 vs. 84 will end up being less expensive.

Mistake- Ordering 84 save the dates/invitations for ~83 households.

Pro planning: Ordering 100 save the dates/invitations for ~83 house holds.

Save the Dates

Save the Dates are a great way to mentally prepare your guests for your upcoming wedding. You might not have all the details like time, location, attire, meal plan, etc. hammered out, but a Save the Date will let guests know the most basic information about the wedding to plan for. While these are helpful with communicating this information to guests, they do add some cost to your wedding and aren’t necessary for every situation.

When are Save the Dates REALLY needed?

Save the Dates can be useful for every wedding, but you don’t HAVE to have them for any wedding. If you are tight on money, time, or simply just don’t want them you can skip them altogether. Save the Dates are most useful when planning either a destination wedding or when planning a wedding where most of your guests will be traveling. In a situation where guests will need to be traveling it is useful to let everyone know ahead of time. Save the Dates allow guests the opportunity to save money/sent money aside for travel and gifts, communicate with work, and plan for childcare (if necessary).

When should I send my Save the Dates out?

Save the Dates can be sent whenever you have solidified a date and location. You can technically send them before a venue is booked if you are 100% positive of the city and date the wedding will be held, but it is best to send them once the venue is booked. Couples will often fall in love with a venue that isn’t available on their desired date, so they change the date to accommodate the venue. If the date you have chosen means a lot to you and you are positive you will be selecting a venue based on the date and not the other way around, go ahead and send the Save the Dates!

If you are having a lot of out of town guests or planning a destination wedding Save the Dates ideally will be sent a full year in advance. If your wedding is more intimate and still requires a majority of guests to travel, Save the Dates should be sent in the 6-8 month prior range, if possible. If you are planning a more intimate wedding in a shorter time span it may be more efficient to skip the Save the Dates, touch base personally with guests to give them a heads up, and send invitations a little sooner than you would typically.

What is the latest I should send a Save the Date?

This, again, will vary depending on the situation. The absolute latest in any situation that you should send a Save the Date is 2 months out from the wedding (and this still only works for a really intimate wedding with short planning period). For a larger wedding this deadline should be by the 4 month mark. For a larger travel heavy wedding this deadline should be 5 months out. If you can’t make this deadline, skip the Save the Dates altogether and just send an invitation. Even for an intimate wedding, 2 months would be cutting it pretty close. Keep in mind, you will need to confirm with the venue and caterers the final headcount about a month prior to the wedding so you need to have time for people to receive their Save the Date and invitation and then RSVP.

What information should my Save the Dates include?

Save the Dates are just a quick, formal heads up to guests that you will be hosting a wedding on a particular date in a certain city. At minimum the Save the Date should include your names, date, and city. A lot of couples will build a wedding website and include that on the Save the Date as well. Even if the wedding website isn’t 100% completed (and frankly at this point it probably won’t be) providing the link will give guests a resource to check in to for more information as it is made available. If you have your venue locked in you can also include this in the Save the Date.

What should my Save the Dates look like?

Like everything else with a wedding, this completely depends on what you want. A common trend is for people to use a photo from their engagement session as the background of their Save the Date. Another common trend is for people to make their Save the Dates magnets so people can keep them on their fridge or somewhere convenient to find the information.

Invitations

What information should I include in my invitations?

Invitations should be a quick snapshot of all the vital information guests need to know in order to show up to the right place at the right time on the right day. They should include the who, what, when, where, and why of the day (not necessarily in that order). Include both the bride(s) and/or groom(s) names. If someone other than yourselves are paying for a chunk, the majority, or all of the wedding it is common to word your invitation: “X and X invite you to the wedding of their [son/daughter/other- name] to [fiance name here].” The name and address of the venue is vital. They will also need to know what time to arrive. If you have a wedding website you can include the website and let people know that they can RSVP and find more info there. If you don’t have a wedding website, you’ll need to include an RSVP card and pre-stamped envelope for guests to send back. You’ll also need to include a meal card if necessary, attire expectation (even if super casual, let them know!! No one wants to show up in a ball gown when everyone else is in sun dresses!), whether kids are invited or not, hotel block information (even if you don’t have a room block, they will need to know!), transportation accommodations, and information on events surrounding the wedding (pre-wedding welcome event, after wedding brunch etc.). Again, if you have a wedding website, you can list all of this info on the website and have your invite include just the very basics.

Pro-tip: directing guests to a wedding website for more info is a great option if possible. You can update information as plans evolve, include an FAQ page so guests can refer to this instead of having everyone individually reach out to you with questions, and, last but certainly not least, you can have your registry on your website so when guests visit to RSVP they can conveniently purchase a gift.

What should my invitations look like?

Again, the aesthetics of the invitations completely depend on your taste. If possible, it is ideal to have your invitations aesthetic inline with your wedding. Chose colors, shapes, and fonts that are relatively similar to those that will be at your wedding. This will help with a few things. First, this will give guests an idea of what to expect. It can set the tone of formality and give them an idea into color scheme. If you don’t want people to dress in the same colors as your bridal party or vice versa, let them know! Either way, invitations are a great ay to start communicating what those colors will be. Second, photographers love to capture your invitation as a prop on the wedding day. Having this match the overall aesthetic will create for some more cohesive pictures. Again, this is just a suggestion. It is your wedding and there are no rules; do literally whatever you want.

When should I send my invitations?

This will vary depending on a few factors. Some things to consider: when do you need to confirm numbers with the caterer and venue? How many people will be traveling for your wedding? How many people are you inviting (the more people you invite, the more people you will need to track down to confirm RSVP status!!)? For reference, for an average wedding of 150 guests with 33% traveling domestically, you should send the invitations out 2.5 months prior to the wedding, with the RSVP date 1-1.5 months prior to the wedding depending on catering and venue requirements.

When should I have guests RSVP by?

For your own sake, it is best to set the RSVP date at least 1 month prior to your date. Guest count will alter your seat/table count, plate count, party favor count, etc. Never have I ever been a part of a wedding of any size where 100% of the guests RSVP on time on their own without a nudge. Giving yourself some extra time will help alleviate some of the planning that just can’t be done until the final headcount is in. While a month is the minimum, I highly recommend giving yourself at least 1.5 months so you have a full 2 weeks to track people down and get all RSVPs. If you are having a wedding with over 250 guests, give yourself a full 2 months. Even if you are having a wedding of 1,000 don’t give yourself more than 2 months, though. Expectedly, things happen in our guests lives and anything longer than 2 months will allow for too many unforeseeable variables in guests lives and you’ll have to do a lot of adjusting as people’s plans change.

Some great resources to purchase your Save the Dates and/or invitations

There are plenty of boutique vendors that can create incredible custom pieces for you. Everyone will have a different niche aesthetic. If you are looking for something on the less niche and more affordable end check out the following:

www.vistaprint.com

Why I love them- you can really create whatever look you are going for. There are some preset templates you can use if you are ~creatively challenged~ or you can fully customize your own cards if you’re into DIYing the design. Their prints are consistent and good quality. Another huge plus, they are CHEAP.

Pro-tip- Google discount codes before ordering! They are almost ALWAYS running a special. If you can’t find one, create an account BEFORE creating your cards. Save your design and then sit back and wait. Within a week they will email you a discount code.

www.minted.com

Why I love them- Their designs are lovely, their prints are consistent, and they give my clients a discount. Use my code: WEDPLLA for 35% off Save the Dates and 25% off all wedding things.

www.basicinvite.com

Why I love them- My very favorite thing about this site is they offer clear invitations for about $1 each. The next least expensive clear option I have found is $8/each. The price is unbeatable. They offer plenty of other designs or fully customizable blank slate options as well. The prints are consistent and good quality. They allow you to fully customize the invitations and Save the Dates.

Pro-tip- look for discount codes! They aren’t as common as Vistaprint discount codes, but their prices are already lower so it balances out. It is still worth looking for a code though!

Have additional questions? Feel free to reach out via email! theweddingplannerla@gmail.com

As always, happy planning!!

Select Your Vendors Like a Pro

Selecting vendors can be a daunting task. There are SO many options out there so how can you be sure you are making a good choice? It is challenging selecting vendors that fit in your budget or are worth stretching the budget for! There are a few specific steps I take when sifting through and vetting vendors before sending them to my clients. Follow these steps and you’ll be picking vendors like a pro!

***Before you get going on vendor research, I highly recommend making a full budget!! Making a full, realistic budget will help guide your vendor selection. See my full budget guide here***

Decide on a general vision for each specific vendor-

Before diving into the deep end of vendor research, have an idea of what you are after. A few things to shape this vision: budget, what you hope to get out of your contract with this vendor (i.e. how many hours, how many assistants, etc.), what “style” do you want (i.e. what kind of venue do you want, what style of photography do you like, what kind of food do you want, etc.).

1. Venue- indoor, outdoor, mix of both, beach, woods, mountains, all inclusive, DIY, somewhere in between, how late do you want to be there into the evening, will they be hosting other events in the space that day, will they take care of trash removal, do they provide restrooms, power, or any other basic amenities, do they provide tables, chairs, an arbor, a bar space,etc.? For reference, a wedding with 100 guests at a venue that provides only power and restrooms will cost about $7k in rentals, if you go with the most basic rental options. This should absolutely be factored in to your overall cost when selecting a venue.

2. Wedding Planner- do you want to be involved in wedding planning or do you want to think about it as little as possible? You will spend a lot of time with your wedding planner and your wedding planner needs to be able to see YOUR vision in order to create your special day. Make sure that this is someone you are ready and excited to spend time with!

3. Photographer- do you want light and airy, dark and moody, true to color, posed photos, raw emotions, or a mix, how many hours will you need them, do you need 2 photographers or will one suffice (2 are recommended for larger guest counts and spread out venues), do you want an engagement shoot, how many photos are you hoping to get back? Ask to see a full wedding album instead of just the highlights!

4. Videographer- what do you want included in the video? Montage of key events throughout the day, full vows, speeches, and special dances, or a combo of the above? Be sure to look through several examples so you have a clear idea of what your edit will include.

5. Caterer- what kind of food do you want, how will it be served, will they provide apps as well, do they offer plates, cups, and flatware rentals, how experienced are they with larger events, do they provide bussers?

6. DJ/Musician- will they make announcements for you throughout the event, how many sound systems will they bring (you will need 2-3 for most venues if you are doing ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception in different spaces), will they allow you to provide song requests, do they have experience playing to a crowd, can they provide a microphone for the ceremony and reception, how active are they on the mic? HINT: A sound system is the full set up which will include a set of speakers (1-2 speakers for ceremony cocktail hour, 2+ speakers for dinner/dancing), microphone (confirm this with your DJ! Some charge extra), amp, mixer, music device (usually a laptop), and dance floor lighting (where appropriate).

7. Bar- do you need a full service bar, or would you like to build your own bar and hire just the bartenders? Will your venue allow you to DIY the bar? If you are DIYing the bar, will you ned to rent the physical bar? Are you bartenders licensed?

8. Florist- do you want more “traditional” bouquets and centerpieces or would you like something else? Are you looking for other decor rental? A lot of florists also offer vases, candles, and other decor to add to your order. Be sure to look through their portfolios! If you have a go-to florist you typically use, but are looking for a different style, show them some examples of what you would like and see if it is something they have experience with or feel comfortable doing. A lot of florists will do special designs that are outside of their norm but not show examples of this work on their Instagram or website because it isn’t “on brand.”

9. Dessert- what kind of dessert do you want, how do you want your cake to look, how many tiers do you wants the cake to have, will they deliver or do your desserts need to be picked up?

10. Hair and makeup- up-do, hair down, braiding, something in between, heavy contour makeup, natural look, something in between? Be sure to look through portfolios and ask for a trial run day! Trial runs are very important! Not just to make sure you like the styles they come up with but also to see how long your hair and makeup are holding up throughout the day.

11. Rentals- does the company offer unique pieces that will work with your venue, are the rates competitive with other comparable companies in your area, what will they charge for delivery, do they offer same day delivery and pick up, can they extend delivery and pick up is necessary?

Do your own research-

Recommendations from friends or professionals are a great place to start, but doing your own research to make sure they are a good fit for you is vital. Just because a friend or professional has had a good experience with someone, doesn’t mean they are going to be a great fit for you! Friends of friends may offer discounts, but if these people are not professionals then you may be wasting $400 instead of feeling good about spending $800. Ask to see pictures or videos of these “friendors” in action! If they do this professionally on the side, ask for a website or review site link! I’ve seen plenty of vendors that recommend other vendors that they haven’t worked with for a long time. Business quality can change overtime so it is important to confirm the recommended company is still worth your while!

Diversify your Research sources-

Conduct research from a few different angles. A quick google search might not yield the kind of options that you are looking for. WeddingWire, The Knot, Thumbtack, Facebook wedding groups, and sites like these will give you more diverse vendor options! Depending on the type of vendor you are looking for search on Instagram, too!

Always cross reference reviews-

Reviews can vary from platform to platform so it is important to cross reference and be sure that you are getting the most recent takes on the company. Some insight into review companies: anyone can leave a company reviews on Google so companies may ask their friends to leave reviews to raise their overall rating. WeddingWire is similar, but it is more challenging to leave a review on, so friends are less likely to pad the reviews for vendors. Yelp has an algorithm that is meant to weed out “fake” reviews, but a lot of real reviews are taken down in the process (there are also a lot of theories on their marketing approach that can also affect the reviews that show). Be sure to scroll down on the Yelp pages to the “unrecommended” section to read reviews that aren’t weighted in overall.

Read reviews with a different perspective-

Even if you like the quote a company sends and they have five stars across review platforms, be sure to read the reviews and look for consistencies. For example, if I’m looking for DJ/MCs and I see a lot of five star reviews saying how the MC "is really active on the mic,” I’m not going to send that company to a couple who really just wants music and a few key announcements.

Schedule phone or in-person meetings before booking-

It is important to feel comfortable on your wedding day and your vendors a huge part of your comfort! You will spend so much time with certain vendors on your actual wedding day, and even the ones that you won’t, they will still interact with guests! If you have a vendor that runs a little high strung, they may create unnecessary anxiety on your special day. A great way to accommodate this is to make sure your personalities mesh beforehand!

Read through your contracts very, very closely-

This is a legally binding document that should protect you as well as the vendor. Make sure that there is fine print written in about what will happen in the event of cancelation (on either the couple AND vendors part). Numbers and dates should be firm (I.e. by what date will you get sneak peek pics back, when can you expect the full album back, how many photos can you expect back, etc. These examples are specific to photos, but all contracts should be quantitative and clear. This does not apply when booking a wedding planner if you don’t already have a venue secured). A contract that doesn’t protect you is definitely a red flag!! If you find any of these issues and bring them up to a vendor and they are unwilling to adjust the contract to protect you, that is a major red flag and a good sign that you should continue your search!

Other notable tips:

1. A vendor’s experience doesn’t necessarily chalk up to quality of service! Just because someone hasn’t been working weddings specifically for a long time doesn’t mean they should be immediately counted out. If you like their style, food, etc., they are well informed on the effort that weddings take, and they are ready to do what it takes to do an awesome job on your wedding they are still worth considering. If you unsure about them, ask your wedding planner or coordinator! They may be able to offer valuable insight to make sure you are making the best decisions for your wedding!

2. Break up your search into several days. It is easy to get burnt out on sifting through vendors. Packages start to run together, things that would normally stick out become easy to overlook, and the whole experience may become less enjoyable.

3. Be thorough! Don’t settle! You can find the perfect vendor out there for you!

Be sure to check out my preferred vendors list to kick start your search!

Useful links:

Budget planning tips: https://www.theweddingplannerla.com/blog/wedding-budgeting-the-first-step-to-planning

My preferred vendors: https://www.theweddingplannerla.com/resources

Day of Decor/Photo Op Props Checklist

As you think through your wedding day and are organizing the pieces you have bought or rented, work through this list to make sure you have accounted for everything! This will be particularly helpful as you are in those final stages and packing everything up to be moved to the venue! Remember, every wedding is unique and you may not want to incorporate some of these pieces. If you don’t want some piece, don’t force it just because it is on this list! If you have planned for other pieces, feel free to copy and paste this then add in your own specific bullet points.

Getting Ready Space:

• Food

• Something to serve food on

• Plates

• Napkins

• Drinks

• Something to serve drinks from

• Something to drink drinks from

• Signage

• Invitation/Save the Dates (for pictures)

• Speakers to play music from

• Phone or other device to play music from (pro tip: if you are getting ready in a place that won’t have wifi or cell reception download your playlist ahead of time!)

• Special hanger for dress

• Something to wear while getting ready

Ceremony:

• Altar flowers

• Altar Floor decor

• Aisle decor

• Ceremony programs

• Table for special ceremonies (i.e. sand ceremony, glass ceremony, wine ceremony, etc.)

• Decor for special ceremony table

• Signs (welcome, unplugged ceremony signs, etc.)

• Easel for signs

Cocktail Hour:

Gift table

• Linen

• Sign for gift table

• Card box

• Guest book

• Pen(s) for guest book

• Something to hold pens

• Decor for gift table

• Flowers for gift table

Appetizer table

• Linen

• Signs/labels for apps

• Serving utensils for apps

• Plates

• Forks

• Napkins

Self service drink station table

• Linen

• Drink dispenser

• Labels for beverages

• Cups

Bar

• Bar menu

• Flowers

Reception Area:

Seating chart

• Easel for seating chart

• Flowers to dress up easel

Place card table

• Linen

• Place cards

• Sign for place cards

• Flowers

• Other decor

Cake/dessert table

• Linen

• Display for cake

• Cake topper

• Serving set of cake knife and server

• Plates for cake

• Forks for cake

• Napkins

• Cake stand(s)

• Other display items for other desserts

• Other decor

• Flowers

Sweetheart table

• Linen

• Special plates

• Special cups

• Flatware

• Napkins

• Flowers for the top of table

• Other decor for top of table

• Flowers for front of table

• Other decor for front of table

Guest tables

• Linen

• Flowers

• Candles

• Table number

• Table number stands

• Other decor/personal touches

• Plates

• Flatware

• Drinkware

• Napkins

What Information to Share With a Wedding Coordinator

A wedding coordinator is immensely valuable. You are essentially investing in your peace of mind on the day of your wedding. With adequate prep, a great coordinator will walk into your wedding day ready to take care of the details and make sure that all of your hard work is brought together just the way you wanted it. In order to do this, though, there has to be ample communication between you and the coordinator leading up to the day of your wedding. Prior to your wedding good coordinator is going to work with you in the weeks leading up to your special day to thoroughly discuss your plans, vendor contracts, and vision to help you catch any missing details, find solutions to potential issues, and make informed suggestions on how to create the best flow possible for your wedding day. A coordinator will do their absolute best work when all necessary information is communicated!

What to share with your coordinator:

1. ALL vendor information- If you have booked a vendor because you are getting married, your wedding coordinator needs their information! Send each vendor’s company name, service they are providing, contact person’s name, email address, phone number, and contracted start and end times. Sharing this information will take a ton of pressure off you immediately. Instead of turning to you to fill in arrival time, start time, and strike time of all vendors, the coordinator can begin communicating directly with the vendors. Once the coordinator reaches out, those vendors begin to ask them logistical questions instead of you! As a coordinator, I prefer to have every vendor’s contract. Your coordinator may not necessarily need each one, but it is always best to have them on hand in case anything comes up before or during your wedding so that they can easily find information without having to bother you for basic information.

2. Order lists from vendors- If you have rentals, florals, food, or anything else being dropped off by vendors make sure the coordinator has a list of what needs to be accounted for. Every now and then pieces will be missing from orders. The coordinator can ensure those items are either brought by the rental company later, make sure you are reimbursed for the missing items (depending on time), and/or find replacement items from another company on the spot! *If you aren’t able to share this information, by sharing the contact info, the coordinator can collect the order lists from the vendors on their own!

3. Venue rules and regulations- typically the venue will share this information, but if you already have this information (you should receive it at the time of booking) share it with the coordinator! They may catch some logistical issues, such as trash removal, time restrictions, or other potential issues that can be avoided if thought through ahead of time. When wedding planning there is a ton of information coming at you from a lot of different vendors so it is easy to overlook some of these details. Your coordinator is there to advocate and problem solve with you, but they need all the tools to be able to do this to the best of their ability!

4. Getting ready information- Even if your coordinator won’t be onsite while you are getting ready, sharing this information is important. The photographer, videographer, hair and makeup teams, or even members of your bridal party may need this information. Instead of sharing with everyone individually, sharing with your coordinator streamlines this information into the timeline which will go out to everyone at once. Your coordinator may also catch some logistical issues with transportation, access to water or food, or other details that may have slipped through the cracks!

5. Any rough draft timeline you may have- I typically try to connect with my clients within a few weeks of booking to create a rough draft timeline, even if their wedding is months away. This helps with logistics when booking other vendors. If you already have a rough draft, share it with your coordinator! Most coordinators will help create your timeline, but if you already have one this is a great baseline for the coordinator to build off of. There are, of course, a lot of logistics to think through when mapping out a timeline, but this is YOUR wedding so the order that you want events is the most important thing for coordinators to consider. 

6. Floor plan- if you already have a floor plan, share it with your coordinator! This is the person that will be onsite to make sure everything is coming together while you are focused on getting ready and getting MARRIED!! In order to create the wedding you have worked so hard to put together, your coordinator needs the floor plan! Sometimes the venue will send this over, some coordinators will even help finalize this, but no matter how it is finalized they need a copy!!

7. Decor list & set-up plan- As intuitive as coordinators can be, they aren’t mind readers! You have worked so hard to create your overall aesthetic, so make sure that your efforts are put into practice. Let your coordinator know exactly what pieces of decor you have, where they belong, and how you’d like them arranged. Even if you have hired a decorator, communicate these pieces to your coordinator so you have an extra set of eyes on the project to make sure everything is being done the way you want! If you have a lot of decorations that you don’t have a predetermined vision for, let your coordinator know! They usually have a great eye for design and would be happy to bring this together- but they will need to know this is the case!

8. The name’s of everyone in your bridal party- The bridesmaids and groomsmen are not only likely participating in some key moments for your day, they are also your best friends and therefore a great ally to both you and your coordination team!

9. Ceremony plan & details - Your coordinator will need to know the names and order of everyone walking in the ceremony. They will also need to know who will be sitting, who will be standing, where those sitting will sit, the order in which those standing will stand, the music you plan to use for your ceremony, and which groups will be walking to which songs. They will also need to know about any special ceremonies you plan to have during your wedding ceremony.

10. Any and everything you know about your wedding! The coordinator needs all of the information in your brain to be in their brain! It sounds like a lot of information to share, BUT once they have this knowledge you can take a huge sigh of relief. Your coordinator can take it from there. They may need to ask you a few opinion questions on details after that point, but everything else logistics wise can be taken care of between the vendors!

You gave yourself a gift by hiring a coordinator! You don’t need to worry about anything once you let your coordinator take the reigns! All you need to do is give them all the information in order to maximize the services you have hired them to perform. So share, share, share, then sit back, relax and GET MARRIED!!

Wedding Planning Timeline Outline

Wedding planning is different for everyone and everyone operates on their own timeline. Some people are more comfortable having two years or longer to plan while others only take a few months to plan! This list is a general outline of a suggested timeframe to get the larger tasks done. Of course, you may not want all of these vendors or perhaps you want additional vendors. If you are unsure of how to work those vendors into this overview feel free to reach out! I’m always happy to guide people through the planning process!

I always start with my Full and Partial Planning clients by creating a customized planning outline for them. It is important for me to make sure that the outline both manageable but also realistic. We typically start broad, and then fill in the finer details to make sure everything is done, done well, and done in a timely manor so everyone is happy and no one is overwhelmed!

18-12 months before the wedding

• Have engagement party (typically hosted by family or close friends)

• Decide on a budget and determine what aspects of the wedding you value the most

  Pro-tip: everyone has different things they care about most for their wedding! Decide what you are most looking forward to and what you’d like to allocate a bigger portion of your budget to!

• Decide whether or not you want to purchase event insurance for both the day of (some venues will require this anyway) and also in the event you need to cancel or reschedule for any reason (illness, weather, etc.)

• Decide whether or not you want a wedding planner.

  Pro-tip: If you decide against one initially, but ultimately decide to go with one later on, plenty of planners offer partial planning options! If you are planning a destination wedding outside of your home country, a planner is critical!

• Decide on the time of year you’d like the wedding to take place

• Narrow the date down to a few options

  Pro-tip: unless you are 100% married to a date in your mind, find a few dates, or a range of dates, that you are open to! This will help if you decide on a high-demand venue with a tendency to book out far in advance!

• Create a rough outline of the guest list to help guide your venue search

  Pro-tip: Have at least a ballpark figure of how many guests you will host before you decide on a venue! Many venue’s can only accommodate a set number of guests, so it is important to find one that can hold all of your guests!

• Book a venue (both ceremony & reception spaces if you choose to have the ceremony at a separate location)

• Create day-of timeline draft

  Pro-tip: you can (and will!) make changes to this timeline as you work your way through planning, but having a general idea of the timing of key events on your wedding day will help as you book vendors!

12-8 months before the wedding

• Book caterer (if not included with the venue)

• Book photographer

  Pro-tip: it is best to do this before creating save the dates if you want to use pictures from the engagement pictures for your save the dates!

• Have engagement shoot with photographer

• Figure out what items are not provided by the venue or caterer and source them through a rental company

• Create wedding website for guests to find relevant information, registry, and RSVP.

• If the majority of your guests are traveling from out of town, create save the dates & send them!

• Begin looking for attire (i.e. wedding dress & tux/suit)

  Pro-tip: on average, wedding dresses are purchased 8 months prior to the wedding, but as long as it is purchased with enough time to have it altered (2-3 months prior) you will be okay.

• Ask friends/family to be in your bridal party

8-6 months before the wedding

• Book bartender if not included with the venue or caterer

• Book a florist and discuss what arrangements will work best with your budget and desired aesthetic

• Book videographer

• Book DJ or band for the reception and ceremony.

  Pro-tip: Remember, many ceremony locations will need an outside sound systems brought in. Make sure that if this is the case with your venue your DJ or musician can make this accommodation

• If most of your guests are local send your save the dates

• Create a room block for out of town guests

• Reserve transportation from hotel to venue and from venue to hotel for bridal party and other guests

• Find a seamstress to alter your dress (you won’t be able to alter this far out, but it is important to reserve your space, as many people will book up)

• Book day-of-coordinator if you have chosen not to have a full planner or if your planner does not include day of services

• Begin working on playlists & song choices for special moments/dances

6-4 months before the wedding

• Begin planning your honeymoon

• Pick out attire for bridesmaids & groomsmen

• Find hair and makeup artist(s) and have a trial run

  Pro-tip: trials aren’t meant to be perfect! They are learning experience for you and your makeup professional. Your professional is learning your skin tone, facial structure, and general preferences. You are learning how your preferred style translates to your face, how well your hair and makeup will hold up throughout the day, and, of course, figuring out if your hair and makeup team is able to hear your feedback and make adjustments accordingly. Now, if by the end of the trial the professional hasn’t earned your trust, of course, consider finding someone who can achieve your hair and makeup goals. It is much better to have this revelation during a trial than on your actual wedding day!

• Hire an officiant

• Order the wedding cake and/or other desserts

• Begin planning gifts for bridal party

• Make reservations at a hotel for bridal party, bride/groom, and family for the wedding night

• Select & order wedding rings

4-2 months before the wedding

• Pick out shoes to wear with your wedding dress

• Take dress to seamstress

• Begin writing wedding vows

• Begin planning bachelor/bachelorette parties

• Begin purchasing decor/personal touches OR decide on decor rental company

• Schedule rehearsal time with venue and reserve a location for rehearsal dinner

  Pro-tip: most venues will allow you to schedule this 45-90 days prior to your scheduled wedding day.

• Apply for marriage license

  Pro-tip: In California 9and many other states), you can apply for your marriage license up to 90 days in advance. Appointments can be difficult to come by! Be sure to schedule an appointment early!

• Design, order, & send invitations

  Pro-tip: If most of your guests are coming from out of town, send the invitations 3.5 months in advance. If most guests are local send invitations 2.5 months before the wedding. Either way, the RSVP date should be no less than 1.5 months prior to your wedding date.

  Pro-tip: RSVP dates should be no less than 1.5 months prior to the wedding, but ideally no more than 2.5 months in advance. 1.5 months allows you time to follow up with guests who haven’t RSVPd prior to any final head count dates w/ the venue, caterer, etc. Any date much more than 2.5 months in advance allows guests a lot of opportunity for things to come up that will change their RSVP response and you’ll find yourself needing to reconfirm numbers with vendors and reworking seating charts!

2-1 month before the wedding

• Bridal shower (typically family or bridal party will plan this)

• Bachelor/Bachelorette parties (if most of your bridal party will be traveling for the wedding, consider having these earlier so that you aren’t asking your friends to travel too much too close together)

• Make sure all bridal party have purchased or reserved their attire for the wedding

• If any bridal party needs alterations, these should be dropped off

• Plan party favors for guests and order the items you need

• RSVPs due- check in with guests who have not responded to invitations yet

• Have final venue walk through

• Create floor plan(s)

• Creating seating chart

• Decide on ceremony details:

  • Processional song(s)

  • Who will walk in your ceremony

  • What order they are walking in

  • Who will stand for your ceremony & the order they are standing in

  • Who will sit after walking in processional & where they will sit

  • If you want any special ceremonies, readings, songs, etc.

  • Recessional song

  • Who will participate in the recessional

  • Where you will go after you recess

  • Where your bridal party and/or family will go after you recess

  • Who your witnesses will be

  • Who will carry rings and vows for ceremony

1 month before the wedding

• Send all song requests to DJ

• Check in with vendors to confirm services, obtain insurance policies (if required by venue), and track any outstanding balances remaining

• Revise timeline & make sure it is up to date with your wants/needs & vendor contracted times

• Send timeline to vendors

• Collect vendor insurance information & share with venue

• Have final dress fitting (this way there is still time if any other alterations need to be made)

• Finalize and confirm all details of honeymoon

• Decide what order you will have bridal party walk for the ceremony and grand entrance

• Finalize floor plan with venue

• Check in with caterer to confirm headcount and finalize the details of the menu

• Pick up dress from alterations if it had to be left behind for further alterations

• Make sure all bridal party has picked up dresses/suits from alterations

• Pick out outfit for rehearsal dinner

3 weeks before the wedding

• Map out all decor and organize it into clearly marked boxes to ensure everything is set up properly on the day of your wedding

• Begin writing thank you notes for any gifts that have already been purchased from your registry

• Finalize wedding vows

• Finalize all song selections (i.e. first dance, parent dances, cake cutting, grand entrance, etc.)

2 weeks before the wedding

• Have final meeting with DJ to go over details

• Have final meeting with photo & video teams to go over details

• Finalize seating chart and transfer it to display form

  Pro-tip: this may seem a little last minute, but THINGS HAPPEN! Last minute guest cancellations and last minute guest confirmations come up so it is best to save this for as late as possible without letting it fall by the wayside!

1 week before the wedding

• Get hair done (color and cut)

• Create day-of checklist to make sure that no personal items or decor is left behind

• Get nails done

• If spray tanning, get spray tan (ideally 36-48 hrs prior to wedding)

• Prepare all bridal party gifts

1 day before the wedding

• Pack for wedding day/night

• Pack for honeymoon

• Have ceremony rehearsal

• Have rehearsal dinner

• Give bridal party gifts out at rehearsal dinner

• Go home. Sleep well

The wedding day

• Read through the timeline in the morning

• Be sure to eat!

• Get ready

• Get MARRIED!

• Have fun :)

Wedding Details Checklist (Did You Get it All?)

There are so many small details that can seem incidental when wedding planning, but planning through the details in advance is the difference between the day running incredibly smoothly and potentially hitting some hiccups. Use the list of questions below to make sure your day is set up to flow as seamlessly as possible!

This list is intended to be referenced throughout planning, but is most useful in the 1-2 month period before your wedding. The larger details, like selecting vendors, and the little aspects that come with them will not be included in this list. Instead, this list focuses on the smaller details that are easily and commonly over looked in the final two months of planning!

This list is divided into sections in order to organize the chaos. The list will start with logistics and then move through the timeline of your day.

Note: all of our clients receive a personalized & even more comprehensive version of this list that we will go over together to ensure all details have been accounted for.

LOGISTICS:

1. Have you purchased Day-of Event Insurance? Hint: Many venues require this! This is different from full wedding planning insurance! Learn more about wedding insurance here!

2. Who is keeping an eye on restrooms throughout your wedding (i.e. stocking, cleaning, & managing if something goes array)?

3. Are there dumpsters at your wedding venue? Are there trash cans at your wedding venue? Who is in charge of trash removal?

4. How are your guests getting to and from the venue? If they’re driving, where will they park? Is it clear or will you need signs?

5. How are you and your fiancé getting to and from the venue? Pro-tip: if you aren’t booking shuttles, party buses, limos, or any other sort of professional service, book an Uber/Lyft in advance for a smooth getaway!

6. Are doing “old, new, borrowed, and blue” items do you know what they are? If so, will these items be coming to the venue with you, or will someone else bring them?

7. If you have gotten your fiancé a gift or card, when will you give this to them? 

8. Check the weather! Do you need any last minute climate control (i.e a tent, umbrellas for sunny days, or space heaters)?

9. If you purchased your own decorations, how will they get to the venue? Who will set them up?

10. Do you have signs to mark areas or communicate important messages? How will the signs be displayed (do you have easels, are they in frames, can they stand on their own)? Do you need garlands or other touches to dress up any signs? Are these ordered?

11. Do you have a guest book? Do you have pens for the guest book?

12. Do you have a card box? Pro-tip: beautiful is good, secure is great, beautiful and secure is the best!

13. If people have gifted you decor/essential items, when will these items be arriving? Pro-tip: gifts are great! Make sure that whoever is delivering them will arrive in plenty of time for the gifted items to be set up!

14. Do you have a timeline that you sent to vendors?

15. Who will be making sure the timeline is running according to plan throughout the event?

16. Have you applied for your marriage license? Pro-tip: in California, you can apply for a marriage license up to 90 days in advance! Be sure to schedule your appointment to apply early!

17. Is the “cards and gifts” table going to be visible throughout the wedding? If not, do you want the cards hidden away at some point? Pro-tip: it is always a good idea to hide away cards and card boxes after cocktail hour!

18. Will someone need to move the cards and gifts to the reception area? Who will do this?

19. If you are going somewhere other than home after the wedding have you packed your overnight bag? 

20. How will the overnight bag(s) get to your hotel?

GETTING READY:

1. Where are you and your fiance getting ready?

2. Who are you each getting ready with?

3. How will everyone be arriving to their respective getting ready locations?

4. If people are driving, will they be able to leave their car overnight?

5. If you are getting ready somewhere other than your home have you packed a bag?

Did you include:

• Deodorant

• Emergency makeup

• Makeup remover

• Toothbrush/toothpaste

• Undergarments (and backup undergarments!!)

• Some kind of jacket

• Robe or something to wear while getting ready

• JEWELRY

• Shoes

• Back up flats JUST IN CASE

• Another outfit/dress JUST IN CASE

• If applicable, backup contacts

• Contact solution

• Glasses

• Eye drops

• Tissues

• Femine products JUST IN CASE

  6. Do you have instructions from your hair and makeup team about how they would like everyone to arrive (freshly washed hair, fresh face, no preference, wash on site, etc.)?

  7. Has your hair and makeup team confirmed they have enough time and staff to complete all of the professional services they’ve been contract for based on your timeline?

  8 Are there enough mirrors/outlets for everyone in your getting ready space? (Pro-tip: If not, bring an extra mirror and a power strip or two)

  9. Is there drinking water available where you are getting ready? If not, who will bring this?

  10. When will you eat breakfast/lunch? If someone needs to bring food, who will it be? When will they buy it?

  11. Do you want wine/beer/champagne/other alcohol while you are getting ready? Who will bring this? When will they buy it? How much will they buy? Pro-tip: Don’t forget cups!!!

  12. Is there a refrigerator for food/drinks? Pro-tip: if not, bring a cooler or bring things that don’t need to be kept cool!

  13. Who will clean up the food/getting ready mess when you are done?

  14. Who will be gathering your personal items if you can’t leave them overnight?

  15. If you are getting ready at the venue and you can’t leave your items in the bridal suite during the wedding, where will these items be stored?

  16. Does everyone you are getting ready with know the plan?

CEREMONY:

1. Who will bring the marriage license to the venue?

2. Do you have ceremony programs? Where will these be placed? Who will place them?

3. Who is walking down the aisle (family, bridal party, officiant, other)?

4. What order are they walking in?

5. If anyone walking in the processional is not standing for the ceremony, do you have a plan of where they will sit after they walk down the aisle? Do have reserved signs for these seats?

6. Where will everyone walk from?

7. How long is your processional song(s)? Is it long enough to have everyone walk?

8. If you have multiple songs, who will cue the musician for the change of song?

9. Do you have a mic/speakers for the ceremony?

10. When will the officiant arrive so they can do a sound check?

11. Do you have a ring box?

12. Who will carry the rings down the aisle?

13. Did you write your own vows?

14. Who is bringing the vows to the venue?

15. Who will carry the vows down the aisle?

16. Do you have a bridesmaid to hold your bouquet while you exchange rings? If not, what will you do with the bouquet during the ceremony?

17. Have you specified to your photographer any special photos you would like during the ceremony?

18. Does you DJ/band know the absolute last line of the ceremony in order to cue the music?

19. Where will you go once you recess? Does your photo/video team know about this?

20. Where will your bridal party go once they recess? Your family?

21. When will you sign the marriage license?

22. Who will be your witness(es)?

23. Where will the marriage license go for the remainder of the reception once it is signed?

24. Who is releasing the guests from the ceremony area? (Hint: typically the officiant will do this unless they are participating in the recessional, in which case the DJ will make the announcement for guests to join cocktail hour.)

25. Do guests need to be guided to a different area for cocktail hour? Who will do this?

26. Do chairs need to be moved from the ceremony to reception area? Who will do this?

27. If your ceremony venue is different from your reception venue how will you and your guests be transported from the ceremony to the reception?

    COCKTAIL HOUR

1. What will guests be doing during cocktail hour (i.e playing games, photo ops, or simply be mingling)?

2. Are there chairs for people to sit if they want/need to?

3. Is your caterer providing apps? How will apps be served?

4. Who will clean up the app plates/station?

5. Will you be taking pictures during this time?

6. Have you scoped out areas you would like to take pictures before hand?

7. Are you taking pictures with family members?

8. How will the family members know when they are needed for pictures?

9. Does your photographer have a list of pictures you want? Pro-tip: this list should include all of the different groups of people you want to take photos with!

10. Are you going to be able to eat any of the apps?

11. If your bar is switching locations, will anything need to be moved from cocktail area to reception area? Do you have enough bartenders to make this happen?

RECEPTION:

1. How will guests know when to sit for dinner? Is the DJ/MC going to make an announcement?

2. How will guests know where to sit for dinner? Do you have a seating chart or place cards?

3. Are you doing a grand entrance? Who will participate? Who will line them up and announce them? Pro-tip: typically the DJ/MC will do this in conjunction with the coordination team!

4. What will you do after the grand entrance (first dance, welcome speech, sit for dinner, other)?

5. If you are doing your first dance right after your grand entrance, where will the bridal party stand while you dance? Pro-tip: It can be distracting to have the bridal party searching for seats while you dance. Typically they will stand somewhere predetermined around the dance floor to watch you dance before taking their seats!

6. Does the bridal party already know where they should sit for dinner?

7. How will guests have access to water during dinner? Will someone be pouring water/refilling glasses, will there be water carafes on tables, or will there be a water dispenser that guests can retrieve water from? If there are dispensers or carafes of water who will refill these?

8. How will dinner be served (buffet, family style, or plated)?

9. If you are doing a buffet, who will release the tables to the buffet?

10. If you are doing buffet, will you make your own plate or will someone be doing this for you? Pro-tip: If you are going through the buffet, usually the newly weds go first!

11. Are you going to walk around to tables to say hi to everyone and take table pictures during dinner?

12. Have you allowed yourself enough time to eat and to say hi? Pro-tip: it typically takes 3-7 minutes per table on average for table photos!

13. Have you predetermined who will be giving toasts and the order in which they will be given? Are you planning to open the floor for any guests who would like to give toasts? Pro-tip: make sure your DJ/MC knows the speech/toast plan!!

14. Who will clean up the dinner plates? If the plates are rentals from a company outside of the catering team, does the catering/bussing team know how the rental company prefers the plates to be returned to them?

15. If you are doing any choreographed dances, does the DJ/musician know?

16. If you are doing a money dance, do you have safety pins or another way to keep the money secure while you are dancing? Where will these be located? Who will bring them to you?

17. Do you have a separate bouquet to throw for a bouquet toss so your special bouquet doesn’t get messed up?

18. Do you have a things for cake cutting (knife, serving utensils, plates)? Pro-tip: designate some one (if you don’t have a coordination team) to place cake cutting utensils, plates, forks, napkins, and water by the cake before your cake cutting!

19. How will dessert be served? Pro-tip: caterers can be a bit finicky about cutting cake and serving dessert that they didn’t provide! Confirm they are either open to serving these items OR make alternative plans!

20. Are you doing a grand exit?

21. Who will line everyone up and make sure sparklers are lit/glow sticks are cracked/bubbles are ready/or whatever else you have planned is prepared?

22. If you are doing sparklers, where will the hot sparkler sticks go after the exit? Pro-tip: you will need a large bucket (or four!) with water close by so guests can dispose of their sparklers safely after the exit!

23. How will you leave the venue?

24. Who will make sure your personal items are in your exit vehicle?

25. Where will you go after the reception? If it is a hotel, have you already checked in?

CLEAN UP:

1. When do all vendors need to be off property? Who will make sure this happens? Is there a fine if guests/vendors are on property longer than the contract time?

2. Have you confirmed with all vendors that the clean-up window is large enough for them to clean/clear at the end of the reception?

3. Which, if any, vendors are returning to collect things at the end of the night? (i.e. rentals, bathroom trailer pick-up, florist, etc.?)

4. Who will take your decorations at the end of the night? Which vehicle are they going into? Does this person know the plan?

5. Who is removing floral arrangements? Can guests take these? Where do you want leftover florals to go?

6. What do you want to do with your bouquet after the wedding? Do you want to save it? Do you know the process of preserving the bouquet in the way you want? Pro-tip: Make a preservation plan for your bouquet ahead of time and make sure that whoever if taking it knows what they must do THAT NIGHT to ensure the bouquet is in optimum condition for preservation!

7. Where do extra favors go?

8. Do you want leftovers? Where does leftover food/cake go?

9. If the florist doesn’t need anything back and where would you like the leftover centerpieces to go?

10. Does your venue require a final walkthrough with the coordination team at the end of cleanup?