Saying 'I Do' Again! A Guide to Planning Your Vow Renewal
Remember the nervous excitement of your wedding day? The thrill of exchanging vows and starting your forever together? A vow renewal ceremony allows you to recapture that magic and celebrate the journey you've shared as a couple so far. But what is a vow renewal really? We've got you covered with your guide to creating a meaningful and unforgettable ceremony.
*Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no cost to you.*
What is a Vow Renewal?
Generally speaking, a vow renewal is a ceremony where you and your spouse reaffirm your love for one another, reflect on your marriage, and look forward to the future. Beyond that it can be anything you want it to be! There's no one-size-fits-all reason for a vow renewal.
Pro-Tip: A vow renewal is not an official ceremony - no formal officiant or paperwork is needed.
Why Renewal Your Vows?
Maybe you want to celebrate a milestone anniversary or reaffirm your commitment after experiencing all the ups and downs of life together. Perhaps your original wedding was small or unconventional, and you now dream of a bigger celebration with loved ones. A vow renewal is a beautiful way to express your love and commitment no matter the reason.
Your Vows: The Most Important Part!
Unlike a wedding, there are no legalities involved in a vow renewal. This frees you to personalize your ceremony completely! You can revisit your original vows, write new ones that reflect your experiences together, or even include lighthearted elements that showcase your personalities.
Planning Your Vow Renewal
While vow renewals are less formal than weddings, some planning is still involved. Here are some key considerations:
Guest List: Do you want a grand celebration with loved ones, or an intimate gathering of just the two of you?
Venue: Choose a location that holds special meaning to you, whether it's a private spot on the beach or a favorite restaurant.
Attire: While some couples opt for formal wear again, vow renewals allow for more flexibility. Dress in a way that feels comfortable and reflects your style.
Photography/Videography: You can choose professionals to capture this special occasion, or you can set up a tripod and timer and take more casual shots!
Celebratory Touches: Live music, readings, or special toasts can add a personal touch.
Whether you say “I do again!” or “I still do!” the options for vow renewal decor are endless! Check out some of our favorite items below:
Pro-tip: People who were not part of your wedding ceremony (children, grandchildren!) can play a lead role in your vow renewal. Enlist an adult child to be the officiant or your youngest grandchild to be a ring bearer!
Remember: the most important aspect of your vow renewal is that it reflects your unique love story. It's all about celebrating your journey together and recommitting to your future.
So, are you ready to say "I do" all over again? (link to packages)
Wedding Planning Mistakes: 5 Hidden Pitfalls (and How to Stay Stress-Free)
You have gotten engaged, decided on an overall aesthetic for your wedding, booked a venue, and have specific elements for design in mind. Now the time has come to transition your Pinterest boards from dream to reality! While planning the logistics necessary to bring your vision to life is fun and exciting, the process has a reputation for turning stressful. There are some common pitfalls that people run into that can be key contributors to sucking the fun right out of something you've looked forward to. Below are 5 of the most frequent mistakes people make while planning a wedding and (more importantly) how to avoid them!
You have gotten engaged, decided on an overall aesthetic for your wedding, booked a venue, and have specific elements for design in mind. Now the time has come to transition your Pinterest boards from dream to reality! While planning the logistics necessary to bring your vision to life is fun and exciting, the process has a reputation for turning stressful. There are some common pitfalls that people run into that can be key contributors to sucking the fun right out of something you've looked forward to. Below are 5 of the most frequent mistakes people make while planning a wedding and (more importantly) how to avoid them!
*Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no cost to you.*
Mistake 1: Forgetting to Budget Before Spending
The internet is a wonderful tool full of wedding inspiration - but all of the picturesque weddings popping up on social media don’t include price tags. Be sure to sit down with your partner and determine your budget before you book or buy anything! A budget is as much a price limit on your entire wedding as it is a guide for how much you’d like to spend on each vendor, decor element, or clothing item. Making a budget will also help you figure out what elements are most important to you - do you want lots of fragrant florals, or is having a top shelf selection at the bar more important? - and then allocate those funds accordingly so that you can manage your expectations and shop within a price range that you are comfortable with!
Pro-tip: If you are working on a limited budget, spend BIG on a few focal point items instead of spreading your budget too thin. Once the I-do's are said and the cake is cleared, the wedding photos are how you will predominantly look back on your big day! Choose a photographer that will produce quality images you will be happy to reminisce on your day over and ensure the elements in those photos are ones you are filled with joy to see. For example, the altar arrangements and your bouquet will be in more pictures than centerpieces or a welcome table, so prioritize those items when budgeting!
Pro-tip: DIYing your florals is extremely time-intensive and live floral arrangements can only be assembled 12-24 hours before the wedding day and need to be kept in a cool, somewhat humid environment (exact temperatures for ideal storage vary depending on flower type, though most would be ideally stored between 34-38 degrees F, with a humidity level of 75-85%). If this is a DIY project you are considering, be sure you have enough help and time to complete the arrangements without taking away from any of the other things you will need to do in those precious last hours leading up to your wedding!
Mistake 3: Constantly adding people to your guest list
Weddings are a time to not only commit your life in partnership and love, it is also a time to celebrate the support and community you are surrounded by! For many couples, drawing the line on the maximum number of invitees can be a challenge. It is helpful to create at least a rough draft of your guest list prior to booking a venue in order to ensure you are securing a space that can accomodate the number of guests you would like to host.
Organizing a list of everyone can be a very stressful feeling, but it does not have to be! Start by breaking up your guest list into small lists (An Excel sheet is great for this) - one tab for your family, one for your partner’s family, another for your friends, their friends, shared friends, work friends, etc. Prioritize each list into must invite, like to invite, and invite if the budget allows. Then as RSVPs come in, you can extend invites to additional people as needed.
Mistake 2: Trying to DIY Too Much
Wedding planning while newly-engaged can really bring out the artist in all of us. The idea of hand-painting signs and knitting favors for all 150 of your guests may sound like fun projects to incorporate bespoke touches to your big day- and they are!- but the reality may be a little different. While personalized, DIYed elements add a personal touch to your wedding and often save money, overextending your creativity and time can lead to wedding planning burnout! Instead of overloading yourself with too many projects, stick to only manageable projects that best use your creative talents, and leave the rest to Amazon Handmade and Etsy.
Pro-tip: Keep in mind that every guest costs more than just the price of a meal and a bar tab! Calculate the cost of every seat (table & chair rental, cost of centerpieces & table numbers, plates, drinkware, silverware, napkins, additional service staff to adequately serve & clean, etc.). Communicate with your partner about the importance of sticking to your invite list! For some people this is no problem, but if you and/or your partner are the kind that has never met a stranger and is at risk of inviting your Uber driver to the wedding, be sure you both are on the same page about the wedding guest list!
Mistake 4: Forgetting to delegate
Aside from actually getting married and celebrating the night away, you will have A LOT to do on your wedding day. Between gettting ready, taking photos, visiting with guests, eating (don't forget to actually eat!), you personally won't have time to do any of the set-up, breakdown, or logistical behind the scenes stuff that goes on in order to make your wedding day come together! To this end, seek out the support of professionals to ensure all of your hard work comes together in way you will be happy with. If professionals are not available for any certain task or are not within the budget, turn to trusted friends and/or family to assist with elements like picking up the cake, communicating with vendors on the day of, and confirming transportation. Delegate tasks, loosen the reins a bit, and enjoy the process!
Pro-tip: Even if you have a planner, coordinator, and/or decorator it is extremely helpful to delegate certain getting ready tasks to your wedding party or family members. A few examples include making sure your lunch makes it to you (and in you!) while getting ready, if you want to listen to music someone will need to make a playlist and bring a speaker, and someone will need to be in communication with your transportation team and/or wedding coordinator.
Mistake 5: Over-scheduling and Under-timing
Creating an unrealistic timeline that leaves no room for unexpected delays or breathing room is a sure fire way to add stress to any wedding. Build in buffer time between activities like traveling from the ceremony location to the reception (especially if they are at two separate locations across town!). Factor in time for travel, photos, and getting ready. Discuss a backup plan with your vendors in case unforeseen circumstances arise.
Pro-tip: Schedule the ceremony start time 30 minutes after guests are expected to arrive. Guests can mingle, sign the guest book, drop off cards and gifts, and find their seats during the in-between time, but allowing this 30 minutes will ensure your ceremony is not delayed due to guests' late arrival.
Bonus mistake! Forgetting to color coordinate your wedding attire with accessories!
There are endless shades of white and ivories and blacks and grays and really every color on the color wheel! Be sure to look at all of your wedding attire items next to each other, in person ahead of time to ensure they work well together. This goes for all wedding party attire, too! Check in with each wedding party member a few weeks in advance to ensure they have sourced any items they are to provide themselves (i.e. If the groomsmen all need to wear matte black dress shoes, make sure they know and are on top of it!)
Pro-tip: Champagne and gold go well with white and ivory! You can mix these shades in with your white or ivory for a regal accent.
All Things Bridal Hair and Makeup
You are already oh so beautiful! We know it, your fiance knows it, and (hopefully) you know it! You spent so much time preparing for your wedding, this is the perfect opportunity to be the most polished version of yourself. That’s where professional hair and makeup teams come in. These amazing artists will make you SHINE! Follow this guide to feel confident in the selection of your hair and makeup teams.
This guide is divided into 3 sections:
Things to know and consider before booking hair and makeup artists
Questions to ask prior to booking
Ways to maximize your hair and makeup teams services
You are already oh so beautiful! We know it, your fiance knows it, and (hopefully) you know it! You spent so much time preparing for your wedding, this is the perfect opportunity to be the most polished version of yourself. That’s where professional hair and makeup teams come in. These amazing artists will make you SHINE! Follow this guide to feel confident in the selection of your hair and makeup teams.
This guide is divided into 3 sections:
Things to know and consider before booking hair and makeup artists
Questions to ask prior to booking
Ways to maximize your hair and makeup teams services
Things to know and consider before booking hair and makeup artists
Some people will bundle hair and makeup services, others will not. Hair and makeup artists often work in teams and bundle their services. This can be done by either one individual providing both services, or two professional’s combining their services into a single contract.This is great for cost effectiveness, as many offer discounted rates for booking both hair and makeup through a single contract. However, you may LOVE the hairstylist but not be as fond of the makeup artist (or vice versa). Be sure that bundling these services is worth it! If both services aren’t offered by one company or duo, you can contract the services separately. This is a great way to guarantee you love both of the services!
Bridal hair and makeup is more expensive than hair and makeup services for bridesmaids, family members, or kiddos. There are a few reasons bridal hair and makeup is more expensive. A bride typically has a more intricate hair and makeup design than anyone else getting ready for the wedding, which takes more time. She also needs her hair and makeup to be consistent and last throughout the wedding, which is accomplished by providing extra steps to prepare her hair and skin before beginning on the actual looks and using additional and high quality products.
If you are hiring a team, make sure you like everyone’s work. As the bride, you will typically do a hair and makeup trial with your professionals prior to the day. When you are hiring multiple people to take care of your bridesmaids and/or family members, this isn't usually the case. Be sure to inquire about the other professionals’ skills and experience and request pictures from their portfolios to get an idea of what their work is like.
Consider the space available in your getting ready area when booking a team of hair and makeup artists to provide services for multiple people. The space you are getting ready in may be a little cramped. If you have booked a hotel suite it may seem spacious, but once you, your bridesmaids, your mother, your groom’s mother, three makeup artists, three hair stylists, and a photographer are in the space, it quickly becomes cramped. Make sure that everyone will be comfortable in the space before hiring an extensive team and inviting extra people to get ready with you. A cramped space will have a lot of energy to process and quickly become hot. That doesn’t exactly set the stage for a calm environment. If you anticipate the space becoming cramped, pace everyone’s getting ready time slots appropriately so not everyone is on top of each other while trying to do hair and makeup at once!
Experience matters. A novelist hair and/or makeup artist may not be able to work around another professional, as quickly, or know how to make your makeup and/or hair last throughout the evening. A professional will be well versed on all of these factors and operate quickly, calmly, and efficiently.
Personality matters. Your hair and makeup team is around you while you are getting ready for an important and emotional day. Their energy truly matters. These people should be people you could see yourself being friends with. If they are high strung, easily stressed, or generally too much energy, they will alter the way you feel while getting ready. Ideally you want someone kind, easy going, and calming. The last thing you want is your makeup artist rushing around and creating unnecessary stress!
Have an idea of the hair and makeup styles you want & provide pictures. Prior to booking a hair and makeup team, have a clear idea of what style you want. Not every professional can achieve every look. Someone who is amazing at intricate braiding, may not be able to accomplish a curly up-do. A makeup artist who is incredibly talented at a Hollywood glam look, may struggle with a more natural look. Professionals want to set themselves up for success, so by providing them with plenty of pictures prior to booking they will be able to confidently tell you if they can achieve your desired look.
Do a trial run. Prior to booking, be sure to do a trial run. This is when the hair and/or makeup artists attempt to create your desired look. This is important and useful for a few reasons:
Check for product quality- During the trial run, check out the products that your professionals are using. If they whip out some drugstore makeup, RUN!!!
Make sure you like what they did- You will be able to see how closely they came to accomplishing your look and offer the opportunity for notes on how it can go better next time. Aside from their actual skills, this will also give you an idea of how your desired styles translate to you! You may have been in love with a certain hairstyle in pictures, but now that it is on your head, you may not be so in love with it!
Check for longevity of your hair and makeup- The trial lasts longer than just to when they finish your hair and makeup. Pay close attention to how your makeup settles into your face. Does it quickly become shiny? Does it fade, smudge, or smear throughout the day? Does it sink into your pores, making them more pronounced? How does your hair fall throughout the day? Does it stay perfectly? If curls start to go, do you like the way they are loosening? As fly-aways come out of an updo, do you like the natural transition or would you prefer everything stay put?
Make sure their personality works with yours- As previously mentioned, personality is important! Your trial run is the perfect opportunity to gauge how well your personalities mesh together and how pleasant this person will be to have around on your wedding day.
Make a general timeline before booking to make sure they are available at the time you need them. Makeup and hair teams often do multiple events in a single day. To guarantee they keep your time slot open, make a rough timeline for getting ready. This will also help them get an idea of how many professionals are required to finish everyone’s hair and makeup. Additionally, a timeline provides your professionals the opportunity to make suggestions about adding time or team members to make sure everyone is finished in time!
Not everyone needs to get professional hair and/or makeup services. If space and budget is limited, but your friends are talented, not everyone needs either or both professional hair and makeup services. Just be sure to communicate the desired look to your bridesmaids so they can practice the look beforehand.
Know how many people you need to get hair and/or makeup services. With space and budget in mind, have a clear idea of exactly how many people will be needing professional hair and/or makeup services. Oftentimes, services are discounted if purchased for multiple people. Also, if you add a lot of people to the roster of who is receiving hair and/or makeup services down the road, it may alter the getting ready timeline. Extra members of the hair and makeup teams may be required if more people decide to get professional services, but if you wait too long to make this decision your hair and makeup team may not have access to additional professionals!
Questions to ask your hair and/or makeup team before booking
Basics-
Are you available on my date?
Do you charge by the hour or by person?
What is the rate for bridal hair and/or makeup?
Is there a different rate for other people?
Do you offer discounts if we book for multiple people?
Do you require a deposit? How much?
When is the balance due?
What is your preferred method of payment?
What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?
What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?
What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?
What is the backup plan if you are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?
Are there any additional fees such as travel fees, delivery fees, etc. that are not included in the package price?
Are you licensed?
Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your staff and property?
Service questions-
On my wedding day, will you travel to my location or will I have to come to your salon?
Can we do a trial run prior to booking?
What is the cost for the trial run?
Will the cost or a portion cost for the trial come out of your overall rate if I choose to book you for my wedding?
What products/application method do you use? (i.e. airbrush, creams, powders, etc.)
Roughly how long will it take to create my desired look?
Do you regularly work with a hair/makeup person that you recommend?
Do you offer bundled rates of hair and makeup services when booked together?
Do you work around the hair/makeup stylist as they work simultaneously or do you need to work at a separate time?
How many stylists will we need for the amount of people I intend to have professional services done on?
How much time will it take to complete everyone’s hair and makeup services?
Will you stick around throughout the day to do touch ups on my hair and makeup?
Experience questions-
Do you have a portfolio I can look through?
If multiple professionals will be providing hair and/or makeup services, can I look through each of their portfolios as well?
How long have you been doing hair and/or makeup professionally?
How long have you been doing wedding hair and/or makeup?
How many weddings do you typically do a year?
Will you have any other events on my wedding day?
Do you work with random other professionals or the same professionals mostly?
Ways to maximize your hair and makeup services
Pick a hair and makeup style that will work with your overall aesthetic and hair and skin type. Your hair and makeup should work with your dress, wedding design, and natural features. Think through how a style will translate to your head before falling too deeply in love with something! This well set your hair and makeup teams up for success and you up for happiness!
Understand that your face and hair is unique, so the style may look a little different on you. Even if you find a style that will complement your natural features, it will look a little different on your face than in pictures of other people. Be prepared to see slight differences. After all, your differences and uniqueness are a good thing! Your fiance agreed to marry you, not the ladies in the pictures! Your natural features are what make you an individual and particularly beautiful in your own way.
Provide a lot of inspiration pictures for your hair and makeup teams. Even though you will look a little different than the inspiration pictures, be sure to provide plenty of examples of the styles and look you are going for! This will help your professionals prepare. They need to think through how to accomplish your desired look and collect the supplies necessary to make it all come together.
Make sure there is adequate lighting in your getting ready space. Lighting is so important to hair and makeup services. Proper lighting will ensure your makeup is blended properly, your hair is all in place, and both the hair and makeup work together beautifully. Natural light is ideal, but if it is not available or adequate on its own look into alternatives. If you personally won’t be able to provide proper lighting, communicate this with your hair and makeup teams so they can bring ring lights or another alternative.
Make sure the hair and makeup stylists will have access to power in your getting ready space. Hair stylists will absolutely need power for blow dryers, curling irons, and/or flat irons. Makeup artists need power for their lights, airbrushes, or any other special equipment needed to accomplish your desired look. Check for nearby outlets to where you and anyone getting ready with you will do their hair and makeup. If there isn’t one close by, bring an extension cord and power splitters.
Make sure there is plenty of space for both the hair and makeup teams to work in your getting ready space. Allow plenty of space for two professionals to work at once. If you have multiple teams operating at the same time, make sure there are several designated spaces with plenty of room so everyone is able to work to the best of their abilities and everyone’s hair and makeup is completed on time.
Provide tables for your hair and makeup teams to set up their supplies in your getting ready space. Your hair and makeup teams both have supplies to set out for easy access. Each individual professional will need a table or adequate space to display their equipment. This table or display will need to be directly by their personal station for easy access.
Allow plenty of time in your wedding day timeline for getting ready. Don’t rush the getting ready portion of the day! This a fun time to spend with your closest friends and/or family, so allow for plenty of time to have a relaxing getting ready period. The key is having the bride’s hair and makeup finished last, to give her look the best chance at lasting the longest!
Discuss what you should do to prepare your hair and skin prior to the wedding day. Depending on your desired styles, hair type and skin type, your professionals may have advice on some steps to take prior to your wedding day. Your hairstylist may not want you to wash your hair the night before or they may want it freshly washed immediately before they begin your style. Your makeup artist may have a skin care routine they recommend to ensure your skin is in optimum condition. Don’t forget to inquire about your bridesmaids and/or family members, too! They likely will have a different hairstyle than you, and therefore need to do something different to prepare their hair! The makeup artists may not ask them to do anything too special, but it's worth asking just in case! Asking your professionals what everyone can do to make their hair and makeup experience as positive as possible is the very best way to maximize those services!
All Things Wedding Decorator
A wedding decorator is the person in charge of making everything pretty on your wedding day. Their work typically begins a few months prior to the wedding when they begin working closely with you to develop your design vision, plan how to implement that vision, and create mock-ups of potential designs. Follow this guide to feel confident you have selected a wedding decorator that will create the wedding of your dreams!
This guide is divided into 3 sections:
Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding decorator
Questions to ask a wedding decorator prior to booking
Ways to maximize your decorator’s services
A wedding decorator is the person in charge of making everything pretty on your wedding day. Their work typically starts a few months prior to the wedding when they begin working closely with you to develop your design vision, plan how to implement that vision, and create mock-ups of potential designs. It is important to find a professional who can create a design that represents everything you are hoping for in a wedding design. Whether you come to this professional with a very specific vision or need full support on developing your design, a wedding decorator should be able to create a custom design just for you. Follow this guide to feel confident you have selected a wedding decorator that will create the wedding of your dreams!
This guide is divided into 3 sections:
Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding decorator
Questions to ask a wedding decorator prior to booking
Ways to maximize your decorator’s services
Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding decorator
Some coordinators or florists will act as wedding decorators, but not all will. If you are lucky, you will find a coordinator and/or florist that can provide decor and/or set up your decor. These professionals typically cost a little more upfront and may charge individually for decor rentals, but can ultimately save you money since you won’t need to find a separate decorator. Wedding decorators will occasionally also offer floral services, but they never include day-of coordination services. It is important to know the difference between these services and understand each professional's role in bringing your day together per their contract. Having a clear understanding of each professional’s services will save you a lot of money and headache down the road!
Some wedding decorators provide decorations, others won’t. Most decorators do have an inventory of decor, however, some do not. Some will show up with the sole purpose of setting up the decor that you provide. The professionals who do not provide any decor rentals typically are priced at lower rates, but the cost is made up by purchasing or renting decor from other sources.
Most decorators will assist with decor clean up at the end of the night, but it's worth double checking. If your decorator is supplying decorations they will almost always return the same night to break down decor and collect their belongings. Double check that this is the case, and confirm there are no additional fees if the wedding reception ends after a certain time. It is also worth confirming that they will break down any decor you supplied, make sure that it is packed away, and return your decor to its predesignated space. If you are supplying all of the decor, the decorator may or may not include clean up. If they do not include decor breakdown, you will need to make sure someone is assigned to take care of this aspect.
Most decorators will help with the overall design, some just implement, while others insist on doing everything. Wedding decorators include varying degrees of design consultation. Most of them will work with you to develop your design and plan the best way to bring your vision to life. A few decorators will simply take the designs you have already mapped out and implement them on the day of your wedding. This is more common for decorators who are not supplying any decor for your wedding. Some wedding decorators like to have the majority of control over the wedding design. They will typically still want input on color, themes, and general feel, but prefer to have free reign over how your desired design elements are brought together. This approach is more common for wedding decorators who are providing all of the decor, are hired early in the planning process, and have been in the business for a very, very long time. It takes a lot of confidence to assume they can create your dream wedding with minimal input from you! Confidence can pay off, but proceed with caution when a decorator says this is their work style! Some decorators that insist on picking and designing most of your wedding will have a very specific go-to wedding design that they recreate at multiple events. If you don’t like this look or are looking for something more custom, you may want to go a different route. Typically all decorators, even those who prefer to have the majority of control over design, will create mock-ups of their intended designs and get your approval before the wedding day.
Questions to ask a wedding decorator prior to booking
Basics-
Are you available on my date?
Can you work within my budget?
Do you require a deposit? How much?
When is the balance due?
What is the policy if your items are broken or missing after my wedding?
What is your preferred method of payment?
What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?
What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?
What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?
What is the backup plan if you are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?
Are there any additional fees such as travel fees, delivery fees, etc. that are not included in the package price?
Are you licensed?
Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your staff and property?
Package & service questions-
Do you bring any assistants?
Will you provide some or all of the decor you will be setting up?
Will you set up decor that I provide?
I’m hosting my ceremony and reception at two separate venues, will you provide decor set up and breakdown for both locations?
Will you assist me with building my design vision?
Will you assemble examples for my wedding that I will be able to look over and approve?
When do we need to have the design finalized?
Do you have a catalog of your inventory I can look through?
Is everything in your inventory included in the cost of your services or priced individually?
Can I see examples of your past designs?
How long does it typically take you to set up the decor for a wedding of my size and my desired style?
Will you return at the end of the night to clean up decor?
If I provided some of the decor, will you also clear my decor from my venue?
Experience-
How long have you been a wedding decorator?
How many weddings do you do a year?
Do you do any other kind of design work?
Will you be decorating any other events on my wedding weekend? (Hint: While this doesn’t matter too much for most vendors, if your wedding decorator is working other weddings on your wedding weekend you run the risk of some items intended to be used at your wedding being damaged or destroyed at another event. If this happens a day or two prior to your wedding there won’t be time to replace the item.)
Ways to maximize your wedding decorators services
Communicate your vision clearly. Since almost all decorators take some level of your design preferences into consideration, it is important to communicate your vision, especially your must-haves, clearly. Be sure to provide inspiration photos if you have them, instead of simply trying to describe something you like. Show the decorator your wedding attire, floral inspiration, color scheme, and venue so they can develop an understanding of what styles you are drawn to.
Organize any decor you are supplying. Clearly label boxes, take pictures of things you have a specific vision for, and label the purpose for individual items. This will not only streamline the decorating process, but also ensure that your decor is placed in the way you intended.
You will be charged for broken or missing items, so do your due diligence to return everything in-tact! Have your MC make multiple announcements about not taking centerpieces or decor pieces. Believe it or not, some wedding guests assume the items they see are up for grabs. Some centerpieces, especially large floral pieces, are commonly given away at weddings, so they aren’t totally wrong for thinking this may be the case. If your decor items are rentals, be sure to have the MC clearly communicate this to guests. Your decorator (or any other rental source) works hard to collect these pieces and they often aren’t easily replaced. If items go missing, that usually results in a pretty hefty surcharge!
Things happen, plan accordingly. Guests may miss the memo to not take items, or items may break. Although we all want to hope for the best, it is best to plan for the worst! Prior to your wedding day, have your decorator (or any other decor rental source) prepare an invoice with the cost to replace each item they are supplying. Not only will this help you mentally and financially prepare if something does go missing, it will also hold the rental vendor accountable to certain amounts (in other words, they can’t charge you an arbitrary and high amount that they came up with off the cuff after the fact).
Preparing and Planning Your Wedding Ceremony
Your wedding ceremony is the start to your married life. This is what guests are here to celebrate! Follow this guide to make sure your ceremony is the perfect beginning to your wedding celebration and life as a married couple!
This guide is divided into 3 sections:
Writing your wedding ceremony
Walking order for the ceremony
A series of Pro-tips on things to consider when planning your ceremony
Your wedding ceremony is the start to your married life. This is what guests are here to celebrate! Follow this guide to make sure your ceremony is the perfect beginning to your wedding celebration and life as a married couple!
This guide is divided into 3 sections:
Writing your wedding ceremony
Walking order for the ceremony
A series of Pro-tips on things to consider when planning your ceremony
Writing your wedding ceremony
Typically the person officiating your wedding will prepare the wedding ceremony, but there are plenty of reasons you may need to create your own. When it comes to writing a wedding ceremony, there are very few rules. The only piece you absolutely need is an exchange of some sort of committal statement that both parties involved in the marriage recite. This is the “Do you X, take X to be your lawfully wedded...“ part of the ceremony. Even this part can be customized, but there are a few basic sentiments that need to be included.The rest is completely up to you!
A standard flow to a wedding ceremony is as follows:
Guests asked to take their seats (usually about 5-10 minutes prior to the ceremony start time, depending on how many guests you are expecting)
Everyone participating in the ceremony is lined up (usually this includes the wedding party, immediate family, flower girl, ring bearer, bride(s), and/or groom(s)- (the order everyone walks in will be discussed in the next section of this guide).
The processional starts (this is the music that everyone will walk down the aisle to) and everyone enters in their pre-discussed order to their predetermined locations
Everyone except the bride and her escort(s) (if she chooses to have any) are in their places, whether it be seats or at the altar
The bride and her escort(s) walk down the aisle
The officiant welcomes & thanks everyone in attendance
(in a religious ceremony) the officiant leads a prayer.
The officiant introduces themself & describes their significance in the ceremony (they may describe their friendship with the bride(s) and/or groom(s), their role as a religious leader, what qualifies them to lead this ceremony, etc.)
The officiant tells a personal anecdote about the bride(s) and/or groom(s) (This can be anything! Sometimes it is a story of how the couple met, a description of a common theme throughout their relationship, a funny story they shared with the officiant, etc.)
Words of wisdom are offered to the couple (this can either be advice coming directly from the officiant, a reading- religious or other- by a friend or family member, or a meaningful song either played or performed live by a musician or friend/family member, etc.)
Special ceremonies typically occur next if they occur at all (i.e. sand ceremony, cord ceremony, candle lighting ceremony, glass ceremony, etc.)
The couple will exchange vows (this can be standard vows or personal vows prepared by the couple)
The couple exchanges rings (this is the “I Do’s” part!)
Final closing thoughts from the officiant (this can be a closing prayer, well wishes to the couple, etc.)
The pronouncement of the marriage (“I now pronounce you…”)
The kiss
The recessional music begins (exit song) and the couple exits together
Once the couple is all the way back up the aisle the bridal party follows them
Following the bridal party’s exit, the ushers will escort immediate family members up the aisle
Once all family members are back up the aisle, the officiant announces that guests are released and gives direction on what to do next (head to cocktail hour, leave for the reception venue, pose for a group picture, etc.)
While this is a common ceremony flow, you can choose to rearrange this however you want. Certain religions will have additional traditions incorporated throughout the ceremony. Some people will choose to have multiple readings and/or performances spread out throughout their ceremony while other couples choose to exclude many pieces listed here. As long as you exchange promises in some sort of ceremonial format, the marriage is legal and the rest is up to you!
Walking order for the ceremony
Depending on how formal your wedding is, how extensive the guest list is, your relationship with your family members, and who you each choose to escort you down the aisle (if you choose to have anyone at all), your ceremony walking order can be anything! Some couples choose to only have themselves walk down the aisle, others choose to include all of their “VIP” guests. Plenty of people choose to have something in between. There are no wrong answers as long as you, your fiance, and the officiant end up at the altar!
The most standard walking order is as follows:
Entrance (procession)-
All guests seated
Immediate family like grandparents, parents of the bride(s) and/or groom(s) who won’t be escorting their to-be-married child down the aisle, and siblings who aren’t in the bridal party walk first (typically the siblings who aren’t in the bridal party will escort the parents who aren’t walking their to-be-married child down the aisle.) If any of these people need assistance walking or don’t wish to walk alone, you can assign ushers to escort them to their seats.
Officiant
Groom & mother (or Bride #1 and escort)
Bridesmaids and groomsmen
Maid/Matron of Honor & Best Man
Flower girl & ring bearer (depending on how many of each you have, they may walk together or separately)
Bride & father (or Groom #2 and escort)
Exit (recession)-
Newly weds
Wedding party in the reverse order from which they entered (after newly weds have completely exitted)
Immediate family with ushers/escorts
Officiant & guests (after the officiant makes an announcement for guests to leave)
A series of Pro-Tips on things to consider when planning your ceremony
List the guest arrival time on your wedding invitations 30 minutes prior to the actual ceremony start time. Some guests are punctual, others not so much. Don’t risk latecomers walking in during your ceremony and causing a disruption. If you are worried about the punctual guests being punished for being on time, a simple solution is to prepare some entertainment! Have music already playing to create some atmosphere and provide water, alcoholic drinks, snacks, games, a guest book, etc. to entertain them!
Write your vows down! No matter how much you practice or how confident you are in your memorization skills, write them out and keep a copy handy. When the time comes, you may not need them at all, but it is always better to be safe than sorry!
Write your vows on notecards. Writing vows on a phone or large piece of paper is a recipe for distraction. Keeping track of a phone before the ceremony is not fun. Other notifications may be distracting when it comes time to pull your phone out. Also, with a phone getting to the vows may be a little difficult! Nerves tend to make for shaky hands which is incredibly apparent if you brought a large, floppy piece of paper. A side effect of trembling paper is becoming hyper aware of how nervous you are when you see the page shake, which can make you more nervous! Even if nerves don’t get to you, wind might! A large piece of paper blowing around in the breeze can create a crinkling noise that is easily picked up by a microphone. Another downside to large sheets of paper is how easy it is to lose your place when reading from them. Big pages are a no no! Notecards allow you the opportunity to write big enough to keep your place, minimize distractions, and avoid obviously trembling.
Write two copies of your vows and hand a backup copy to someone responsible. With so much going on the morning of your wedding, forgetting something as small in size but incredibly vital as your wedding vows can happen. Prepare a back up copy and give it to the officiant, wedding planner, or member of the bridal party just in case!
Save your family seats. Most guests know not to sit in the front few rows of your ceremony space, but there is always one or two who don’t think about it. Make sure the people who matter most have a clear view from a front row seat! This can be done either by having reserved seat signs placed on their designated chairs, or tying a ribbon with a reserved sign across the chairs intended for family. Have your wedding planner or day-of coordinator keep an eye on those seats prior to the ceremony just in case any guests miss the memo!
Let your family know where they are supposed to sit. Even if you aren’t designating “mine and yours” sides for guests to sit during the ceremony, designate sides for the immediate family members, especially if they are walking down the aisle! This will expedite the seating process for them and alleviate any confusion once they reach the front of the ceremony area. Make sure to let them know during ceremony rehearsal where they are supposed to sit!
Consider the ceremony space and assign sides for family members accordingly. In some spaces, if your family sits on the side that you stand they won’t be able to see your face! If this is the case, have them sit on the opposite side so they get a clear view of all those beautiful emotions you are going through!
Talk with your wedding party about where and how to stand throughout the ceremony. This is what rehearsals are for! Well, not just this, but this should definitely be discussed during the rehearsal! Let your wedding party know where to stand, what angle to stand, where to hold bouquets (belly button height), etc. so the guests have a clear view and the pictures look uniform and beautiful!
Talk with the Maid/Matron of honor about adjusting the bride once she gets to the altar. The maid/matron of honor will need to fluff the bride’s dress once she settles into her standing space for the ceremony. She will also need to retrieve the bride’s bouquet when it comes time to exchange vows and rings! If there is a veil, the maid/matron of honor can also adjust this so the bride looks polished and photo ready throughout the ceremony. This is another great thing to address while running through the ceremony rehearsal!
Make sure the MC or officiant makes an announcement for guests to sit close. If you have a large ceremony area that will accommodate a guest list much larger than yours, have all of the guests move in closer prior to the ceremony starting. Not only will this give everyone a better view, it will also translate to pictures better!
Some venues have restrictions on where your photographer can take pictures from. To avoid any last minute surprises, talk with your venue about any rules and restrictions they have in regards to photography. Typically only certain religious places of worship (and even then, usually only during certain times of year) are likely to have restrictions on photography.
Your officiant will be in a lot of your ceremony pictures, so their attire is important. Not only will they be in a lot of pictures, but they will stand front and center for all guests to see! Make sure they plan to wear something professional yet simple so they don’t take too much attention away from you.
Your officiant needs to MOVE IT when it comes time for the kiss. Communicate with your officiant about quickly sliding to the side, and taking their microphone stand with them, when it comes time for the kiss and your exit from the ceremony.
Make sure whoever is in charge of your music knows all of the important cues. Discuss prior to your wedding day with the person who will be in charge of ceremony music. Let them know the signal for changing the processional songs and let them know the very last thing the officiant will say so they can use this as a cue for playing the recessional song.
Let your family and ushers know the exit strategy. Some pairs will need to change so everyone needs to know who they will enter and exit with. They will also need to know when they are supposed to leave. Occasionally the officiant will dismiss the family, but usually the family begins exiting without a formal prompt following the ceremony.
Make sure someone is lined up to make two very important announcements to guests. Guests need to be asked to take their seats and released at the end of the ceremony by someone! This can either be the officiant or the MC. Make sure the person knows they are in charge of making this announcement, when to make the announcements, and is ready to provide clear instructions on where guests should go next.
Have a game plan for yourself after the ceremony. A common oversight is a predetermined space for the newly weds and wedding party to retreat to after the ceremony concludes. Map out a space beforehand so everyone knows the plan!
Set some time aside for yourselves directly following the ceremony. After the ceremony, if possible, carve out 5-15 minutes and a secluded space where just you and your new husband or wife can be alone to process the ceremony together. The rest of the day will be a whirlwind so giving yourself the gift of peace and quiet for even just a few moments makes a big difference in how you remember the ceremony!
Ask your wedding planner, bartender, and/or caterer to have some snacks set aside for you in your hideaway space. Typically wedding party portraits and/or family portraits directly follow the ceremony, which leave you with little to no time to snack and have a drink. Ask your vendors to prepare something for you to enjoy while you take your 5-15 minute processing time so you can keep your energy level up! Make sure they give you some water, too!
All Things Wedding Officiant
A wedding ceremony is, in many ways, the single most important piece to a wedding. This is what brings all of your friends and family together to celebrate! When you become engaged you are agreeing to make a commitment through a marriage ceremony. Agreeing to make this ceremonial commitment is the catalyst that inspires all of the additional pretty, fun, and functional aspects to your wedding day. It is important to find an officiant that will preform a ceremony that aligns with your vision, values, and beliefs. Since the officiant will lead your wedding ceremony, and is typically in charge of writing the ceremony, this person will play a pivotal role in getting your marriage started on the right foot. Follow this guide to feel confident in the person you select to officiate your wedding!
This guide is divided into 3 sections:
Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding officiant
Questions to ask an officiant prior to booking
Ways to maximize your officiant’s services
A wedding ceremony is, in many ways, the single most important piece to a wedding. This is what brings all of your friends and family together to celebrate! When you become engaged you are agreeing to make a commitment through a marriage ceremony. Agreeing to make this ceremonial commitment is the catalyst that inspires all of the additional pretty, fun, and functional aspects to your wedding day. It is important to find an officiant that will preform a ceremony that aligns with your vision, values, and beliefs. Since the officiant will lead your wedding ceremony, and is typically in charge of writing the ceremony, this person will play a pivotal role in getting your marriage started on the right foot. Follow this guide to feel confident in the person you select to officiate your wedding!
This guide is divided into 3 sections:
Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding officiant
Questions to ask an officiant prior to booking
Ways to maximize your officiant’s services
Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding officiant
Officiants are called many things. A wedding officiant is any legally certified person delivering a wedding ceremony. This can be a religious leader, non-denominational ordained professional, or an ordained friend. Some of the most common names for officiants are:
Officiant
Celebrant
Justice of the Peace
Any religious leader (i.e. Priest, Rabbi, Preacher, Pastor, Swami, Minister, etc.)
Any person can officiate your wedding, but they must be ordained in order to legally marry you. Whoever is delivering your wedding ceremony must be ordained prior to your wedding ceremony, in order for your marriage to be legal. Becoming ordained online is easy and FREE! This is awesome news if you want a friend or family member to officiate your wedding! It is also a great reason to properly vet any person claiming to be a professional. Since it is so simple to obtain certification to legally perform marriages, essentially anyone can provide this service. Be sure to read reviews, gather samples of their work, have a clear understanding of the exact services they will provide, and ensure your personalities mesh well before hiring a professional wedding officiant.
Certain places of worship will require you to use their religious leader. If you find a chapel other than your usual place of worship, you may have to use their in-house worship leader to perform your ceremony. This is typically only an issue if you are hosting your wedding out of town and wish to fly your own religious leader in for your wedding. Confirm with your chapel prior to booking that this is okay! If you intend to be married at a place of worship, confirm with them their policies on outside vendors, prior to booking your officiant to avoid potentially loosing a deposit.
Certain religious leaders require both parties involved in the marriage be officially baptized (or the equivalent) into their faith. Most couples who come across this issue are already aware of this prior to becoming engaged. A couple important things to note on this topic:
Just because some or most religious leaders of a certain faith require this, doesn’t mean that all leaders in your faith will. Finding someone who will do this may prove a challenge for certain religions, but they are out there!
(Take or leave this point as you see fit…) If your fiance is uncomfortable changing religions, it isn’t a great idea to pressure them into switching. You are agreeing to marry this person because you love them for who they already are (and vice versa!). Their religious beliefs (or lack thereof) are a huge piece of who they are- so to change this, is to change them. If this proves to be a huge hinderance on wedding planning, seek the professional guidance of a marriage counselor whose services are rooted in any faith (especially neither of your own) for some unbiased support as you navigate this delicate territory.
Sometimes neither of the engaged parties will really care about each other’s religious beliefs, but family members will. The best advice on this is to make your family feel heard by addressing their reasoning for wanting you to have certain religious aspects incorporated into your wedding, but ultimately remember and remind them that it is YOUR wedding and YOUR commitment, NOT your family’s. For more advice on this incredibly touchy subject, reference the “Managing Outside Opinions Surrounding Your Wedding” guide.
Certain religious leaders require you to take premarital counseling or classes with them prior to your wedding. Premarital counseling or classes are not a bad thing! They provide the opportunity to gauge how “on the same page” you and your fiance are by encouraging you to discuss your visions and plans for some of life’s common and major milestones prior to making a major commitment. However, you may not find counseling or classes necessary in your unique situation and these services almost always cost additional money. Check with your potential officiant for their policies and rates for these services. If your officiant doesn’t require premarital counseling or classes, you may still want to consider doing this! There are plenty of professionals out there offering premarital counseling completely separate from officiating services.
Most wedding ceremonies are customized by the officiant based on the couple they are intended for. The officiant will write your wedding ceremony. Many couples, especially those opting out of full religious ceremonies, will choose to write their own wedding vows. Aside from the vows, the officiant will plan the rest of the speaking. They usually include a little background on themselves, why they were chosen to officiate (i.e. “I’ve been a close friend…,” “I have been X’s Rabbi since they were little…” etc.), an anecdote about the couple, and some words of wisdom to the couple. Make sure you find someone who is going to write a beautiful ceremony that will put you and your guests in the right mindset for commitment!
You will likely watch the video of your ceremony many times throughout your life, make sure you find an officiant you want to hear over, and over again! Aside from the ceremony itself, make sure that you like your officiant's voice, speaking style, level of formality, and ceremony delivery style. You can do this by requesting sample videos from previous ceremonies! If you choose to have a friend or family member officiate, they don’t necessarily need to write the ceremony in its entirety. However, you probably won’t want to hear the whole ceremony prior to the wedding (the element of surprise in the moment makes the ceremony fun and extra special!). You can get around this by writing a decent portion of the ceremony, but leaving a section in the beginning blank for them to prepare something special. Alternatively, you can let them know specific things you’d like included (or left out!) to help guide their ceremony creation process. For example, if you love a particular quote or want special readings done you can ask them to include these in the ceremony.
If you choose a friend or family member to officiate, choose wisely! Choosing a significant person in your life to lead your wedding ceremony is a great way to add a level of personalization to your wedding. This is also a great way to save money, since becoming ordained online is free! If you are exploring the possibility of asking a friend or family member to officiant your wedding, there are a few key characteristics to consider before signing them up.
Find a person that is close, but ideally not too close to either party being married. Being extremely close to one of the parties shouldn’t necessarily count out an individual as a possible officiant, but it does open the door for the person getting a little too emotional. A little emotion is great! It makes the ceremony that much more special! However, if you, your fiance, AND your officiant are all heavily crying throughout the ceremony you may need to take a lot of breaks and the ceremony may last longer than you anticipated. Alternatively, if you and your fiance aren’t big criers, having a blubbering officiant may seem out of place and alter the vibe you wanted for your ceremony. That being said, if a family member or very close friend is perfect in every other way and you’re confident they will have a very appropriate control over their emotions, they might just be the ideal person to lead your ceremony. In contrast, a person too emotionally distant from the couple may not take the role as seriously, may be unable to write a heartfelt and/or meaningful ceremony, and may not be in your lives down the road. A person in the sweet-spot will be close enough to be a constant presence throughout your lives, know enough to create a thoughtful and genuine ceremony, and be removed enough to keep the crying to a minimum.
Are they a good public speaker? Think through how confident this person will be speaking in front of a crowd. Even if they are usually an outgoing and gregarious person, this won’t necessarily translate to public speaking. Does their job require them to speak publicly or give presentations? Do they have any experience speaking into a microphone? A few factors that will play into the overall success as a public speaker are experience, confidence, natural speaking volume, and meeting the perfect sweet spot in closeness to you.
Will they respect the significance of the ceremony? Including a few jokes and taking a playful approach to delivering your wedding ceremony is totally fine, if that is what you want! However, there is a difference between keeping things light-hearted and playful vs. turning your wedding ceremony into a complete joke. You want to feel like you just made a meaningful commitment to one another at the end of your ceremony, not like you just were the butt of a joke.
You want an officiant, not a character. This is an extension of the last point, but it is worth diving further into detail. Confidence and cockiness are two different things. When selecting an officiant, be hyperaware of the difference. If the person you are considering always seems to be “on” when around people, they are likely not the best person to officiate your wedding. Your wedding ceremony shouldn’t be an opportunity for your officiant to put on a show for the guests. If this person tends to be a “class clown” type, commands all of the attention when they walk into any room, or has an air of self-importance, you run the risk of them making your special moment about them, instead of about your love and commitment. Again, putting their own flavor, personality, and a level of playfulness into the ceremony is great! Taking advantage of a seated crowd and microphone access to practice their latest standup, is not so great.
How likely is this person to adequately prepare for our wedding ceremony? If you have an individual in mind who is a great public speaker and will be respectful to the significance of the day, in theory they will adequately prepare. They will write a thoughtful and beautiful ceremony that matches your personalities and practice enough to deliver the ceremony like a true friend and professional! However, if you are considering someone with a notorious track record of procrastination, maybe keep searching.
Make sure they are up for the task. Let them know what the job entails in-full, upfront before allowing them to commit. If you sense any hesitation, don’t pressure them! This is a big favor you are asking of someone, so if they don’t want to do it or they are worried about their ability to perform let them off the hook! Whenever you ask make sure they know they don’t have to officiate, but that you thought they would be a great and meaningful person for the job!
Questions to ask an officiant prior to booking
The basics-
Are you legally certified to marry people in my state? Through which institution did you receive your certificate?
Are you available on my date?
Can you work within my budget?
Do you require a deposit? How much?
When is the balance due?
What is your preferred method of payment?
What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?
What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?
What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?
What is the backup plan if you are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?
Are there any additional fees such as travel fees, delivery fees, etc. that are not included in the package price?
Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your staff and property?
Experience & style information-
How long have you been officiating weddings?
How many weddings do you typically officiate a weekend?
How many weddings do you typically officiate a year?
How do you identify religiously?
If you identify with a certain religion, how much of that religion is incorporated into the ceremonies you deliver? (Hint: Some non-denominational religious officiants will still incorporate mentions of God or prayers into the wedding ceremony. If this is something you’d like to minimize or avoid completely make sure they are willing to comply with this request!)
If you don’t identify with any religion, can we still request a few mentions of God in our ceremony? (Hint: Some couples wishing to minimize mention of God, still want one or two references. If you find a non-religious officiant make sure that they are comfortable and willing to make this accommodation!)
The ceremony details-
Do you have a set ceremony script or will you customize our ceremony for us?
How do you create and customize our ceremony?
Are we allowed to have input in certain aspects of our ceremony? If so, how much input and on what aspects are we allowed to offer our opinions? (Hint: If you want any readings done by the officiant or a wedding guest, special ceremonies such as sand ceremony, glass ceremony, cord ceremony, etc., songs sung by friends or family, etc., be sure to confirm that the officiant is comfortable and willing to allow these things to happen!)
Can we write our own vows? Can you help us with this? If we decide we need support with our vows, how will you offer guidance?
How long do your ceremonies typically last? Can we shorten or extend this time if we were picturing something a little different?
When will you arrive on our wedding day?
What will you wear on our wedding day? (Hint: This person will be front and center for the duration of your ceremony, which makes them a focal point for your guests. They will also be in a lot of your ceremony pictures, so make sure their attire is something professional that won’t distract from you and your fiance!)
Pre-wedding access & requirements-
How many times will we meet before our wedding?
Will you attend our ceremony rehearsal?
Will you lead our ceremony rehearsal? (Hint: Oftentimes religious leaders of certain faiths prefer or require they lead ceremony rehearsals without any assistance from wedding coordinators or planners. If running the rehearsal is not included in your officiant’s services, your wedding planner or day-of coordinator will typically lead the ceremony rehearsal.)
Do you offer or require premarital counseling? Is there an additional fee for this service?
Ways to maximize your officiant’s services
Communicate your vision for the ceremony clearly. Whether you want long, short, deeply religious, no mention of religion, etc. let your officiant know! Be clear about your expectations so they can make adjustments accordingly.
Meet with your officiant and tell them a little about yourselves! In order for a ceremony to be personal, the officiant needs the opportunity to get to know you and your fiance. When you meet with your officiant, give them some details about how you met, some important chapters in your relationship’s history, and a good idea of who you are as individuals and a couple.
Do some research on your own into wedding ceremonies. Not only will this help you find things you want to incorporate into your own ceremony, but it will also give you an idea of things you don’t want included in your ceremony. Even if you don’t find anything you’d like included verbatim, you may find general ideas or even smaller ceremonies (i.e. sand ceremony, cord ceremony, glass ceremony, etc.) to incorporate into your overall ceremony.
Write your vows and share them with your officiant. Some officiants will offer feedback on your wedding vows. If they do, take advantage of this service! Make sure your words are coherent and cohesive to a third party and will fit into the time you have chosen to allot for your overall ceremony.
All Things Wedding Caterer
There is nothing like a good meal to bring friends and family together! Wedding guests come from far and wide to rejoice in your marriage. They spend a long day focusing on you, so make sure you take care of them! Follow this guide to feel confident in the wedding caterer you select.
This guide is divided into 3 sections:
Things to consider when researching caterers
Questions to ask prior to booking a caterer
Maximizing catering services
There is nothing like a good meal to bring friends and family together! Wedding guests come from far and wide to rejoice in your marriage. They spend a long day focusing on you, so make sure you take care of them! Follow this guide to feel confident in the wedding caterer you select!
This guide is divided into 3 sections:
Things to consider when researching caterers
Questions to ask prior to booking a caterer
Maximizing catering services
Things to consider when researching caterers
There is a lot of variation in catering packages.
Drop-and-go catering- The most basic catering companies will drop food off in trays for someone else to set up and serve. These tend to be the least expensive catering option, but be sure to consider the price of service staff companies which will be necessary to properly store, display, and serve your food. Once the service staff is budgeted, this option may be pushed out of your price-range.
Food trucks- Food trucks can serve food in one of two ways: 1) guests will order from their window and food is prepared to order or 2) They will set up a buffet and guests can build their own plate. Food trucks often provide basic paper plates and plasticware for guests to eat from. They will sometimes offer trash removal, but typically only take care of their own garbage.
Full service catering- Full serving catering has a few subsections within itself. A full service caterer may provide food, set up a buffet, tend to the buffet, buss the tables, and refill water. An even fuller service caterer may set up an entire kitchen (or use one onsite) to prepare the meal fresh and serve the food directly to the seated guests. There are plenty of options in between. Full service caterers may provide additional services like tables, chairs, table linens, plates, flatware, drinkware, bar services, etc.
There are 3 main food service styles.
Buffet- A buffet is a display of food that the guests will personally create their own plates from.
Pros- Buffets are a great way to allow guests to select exactly what food items they want. You also won’t have to worry about meal cards!
Cons- Buffet lines can be long and with a large number of guests, the buffet will often make dinner last a long time. Longer buffet time means that the first guests to eat will be done eating long before the last guests even get their food! There is also often a lot of food waste with buffets.
Plated- A plated meal is when the catering staff serves the food directly to the seated guests.
Pros- Guests will get a warm meal, they will get to choose what their main protein is prior to the wedding, and food waste is minimal. Plated dinners are often associated with a higher cost, but since there is less food waste, the cost can oftentimes be less than the other service styles!
Cons- You will have to manage meal cards and it makes your seating chart extra important. You will absolutely have to have adequate staff or else serving the food will take a long time and your timeline will be thrown off.
Family style- Family style service is when the food is placed in large serving dishes directly on guest tables for them to create their plates from without getting up and walking through a buffet line.
Pros- Family style really has a unique ability to encourage conversation amongst your guests. Oftentimes, your wedding guests may not know everyone at their table and family style food is a great way to break the ice! Family style also ensures everyone has access to food at the same time, so pacing dinner is very easy. Also, much like a buffet, your guests will get to choose whatever they want to eat in the moment.
Cons- Unfortunately, there is often a lot of food waste with family style. Since the food is placed directly on the tables, keeping the food warm is a challenge. If people don’t eat right away, the food will get cold. It is a less common service style, so finding a caterer to serve food family style can be difficult.
There are virtually no limits to what kind of food you can have served at your wedding. It is important to think through what foods will store well, transport easily, are easily taken from a serving tray, and will appeal to a larger audience. Consider food allergies and dietary restrictions of guests when booking your caterer. Make sure that the caterer can provide vegetarian, gluten free, diary free, and peanut free options for guests. Aside from logistics, there are no limits to what kind of food should be served at a wedding!
Pro-tip #1: A special salad can serve as the option for guests with any of the most common dietary restrictions! Ask the caterer to prepare a special salad that is particularly filling to serve to guests that may have one or more of these limitations. Make sure the caterer knows to ONLY serve this salad to the guests with dietary restrictions so they have plenty to eat!
Caterers specialize in food and service styles, be sure to play into their strengths. This is particularly important when venues require you use their preferred caterer or in-house catering. If you find yourself in this position, it is best to stay within the caterers wheelhouse. You can, of course, ask if they are willing to deviate from their menu, but if you sense any kind of hesitation, ABORT MISSION! Everyone would rather eat a common meal done well, than a more interesting meal done poorly. If you have the luxury of choosing any caterer you’d like, look for one that specializes in the kind of food and service style you prefer for your wedding. Hiring a full service American-classics caterer and requesting they prepare sushi rolls for appetizers is not setting anyone up for success. Most caterers don’t stray too far from their menus even when requested, but if you find someone willing to branch out from their norm, make sure they can do so without sacrificing quality!
Questions to ask your caterer prior to booking
The basics
Are you available on my date?
Can you work within my budget?
Do you require a deposit? How much?
When is the balance due?
What is your preferred method of payment?
What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?
What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?
What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?
What is the backup plan if you are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?
Are there any additional fees such as travel fees, delivery fees, etc. that are not included in the package price?
Are you licensed? (Hint- a business license AND food handling license is needed to ensure the caterer is going to prepare food safely for your guests. Confirm with your venue PRIOR to booking your caterer that they adhere to the venue’s requirements.)
Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your staff and property? (Hint - confirm with your venue what kind of insurance you need from your caterer. Some venues require special insurance from Caterers [and bar] that they don’t require from other vendors!)
Experience & quality control
How long have you been in business?
How long have you been offering catering services? (Hint- many restaurants offer catering services, but haven’t necessarily been offering these services as long as their business has been around.)
Do you have experience catering weddings and/or other large formal events? (Hint- not all catering experience is equal. The skills, attention to detail, and professionalism of a catering company with years of experience working children’s birthday parties under their belt won’t necessarily translate to a wedding.)
How do you price your services (i.e. do you offer packages, is food priced al a carte, or something in between? (Hint: Almost all caterers will fall somewhere in-between. Most will offer packages with the option to customize, however the packages offered almost always offer customization!)
What is your typical food serving style (I.e. buffet, plated, family style, etc.)? (Hint: Although a company may say they can any type of service, there are a lot of nuance details that go into service style and booking someone for a service style outside of their norm can be a bit tricky. Be sure to find a company that is confident enough in what they say they can do to put it into writing in your contract!)
Are you able to customize our wedding menu with food that you don’t typically offer? (Hint: some caterers are used to this request and are happy to accommodate special requests. If you are planning on offering an appetizer or entree that isn’t within the caterer’s typical wheelhouse, make sure you find a caterer that is used to preparing unique dishes!)
Can we do a food tasting prior to booking?
What is the cost of the food tasting? Is this cost deducted from the overall fee if we move forward with booking?
Package details
What is the average price per person?
Do you offer separate pricing for children and vendor meals?
What food will this include per person (i.e. appetizers, dinner, dessert, late night snacks, etc.)?
Do you include plates, flatware, napkins, and/or drink ware in your pricing?
Do you include anything else in your packages or am I able to add additional items onto my contract with you (i.e. tables, chairs, water stations, coffee stations, table linens, condiments, etc.)?
How much staff do you allocate for an event of my size?
What is the cost for additional service staff?
How long does the service staff stay onsite including set up and breakdown?
Does your staff take care of refilling guests beverages?
Do you provide bar services and/or bartenders?
If you provide bartenders, are we able to provide our own alcohol or will we have to use and pay for alcohol provided through your company?
Do you offer any dessert, like cake, or a specialty dessert?
Do you offer cake cutting and serving if I have purchased my cake through a separate company?
Can I see pictures of your food display from past events?
Logistics
If there is no kitchen available at the venue, where will you prepare the food?
Do you provide serving materials such as chafing dishes, serving spoons, etc.?
Will you require any supplies from the rental company?
Do you need access to water and/or power?
Do you provide bussers (people to clear and clean the tables after dinner)?
Do you take care of trash removal? (Hint: many caterers will buss tables, but removing trash from trash cans into trash receptacles is something that needs to be discussed ahead of time.)
If my venue does not have a dumpster onsite, while you take all trash with you? (Hint: many caterers will provide this service for an additional cost.)
Will you take care of arranging the place settings including setting out plates, silverware, drinkware, menus, place cards, etc?
When will you need access to the venue for set up and food preparation?
If I purchase my cake separately, will your company take care of slicing, plating, and/or serving the cake to guests?
Do you offer food options for special diets (i.e. vegetarian, vegan, gluten free, kosher, etc.)?
How long after the conclusion of dinner service will you serve dessert?
How long after the conclusion of food service will your staff stay to buss empty plates, drink ware, etc.?
When do you need the menu and head count finalized?
Maximizing the caterer’s services
Be sure to provide an accurate headcount. You pay per person for catering so providing an accurate headcount is key to making sure you have enough food and aren’t paying for extra food you don’t need. An accurate headcount will also dictate how many service staff are required to properly tend to and clean up after the guests. (Hint: most caterers will allow you to add guests after booking, but don’t allow you to remove guests from the contract. Clarify with them up front about their policy and be sure to book accordingly.)
Taste the food beforehand and select the best options for your budget. The meal served will fuel the guests for dancing throughout the evening. Remember, hungry guests will leave early so be sure to pick tasty, filling options!
Think through everything you need to comfortably eat a meal. Ask your caterer what they are providing and what you need to source separately. The basics you need for a meal are plates, silverware, napkins, cups, and water. You will also need serving utensils for a buffet or family style meal, plates for appetizers and dessert, forks for appetizers and desserts, and plenty of extra napkins! The caterer may provide more or less than this, but make sure that one way or another guests have access to these materials when dinner time rolls around!
Confirm what services they will and won’t be providing. Discuss trash removal, clearing tables, water filling, washing dishes, etc. to ensure that all of your ducks are in row prior to your wedding! If the caterer does not provide all of these services you will need to designate someone else.
Ask your caterer if there is anything you can do to make the meal experience better for your guests. Sometimes caterers that work at your venue regularly or offer limited services will notice trends of the same items or services that are often forgotten or undersupplied. Ask what these commonly overlooked aspects are so you don’t fall inline with the forgetting trend.
Ask your venue what issues they typically run into with caterers. Since your venue may or may not offer certain items or amenities for caterers, they are likely to have some insight into what is most likely to be overlooked in regards to the caterer (and any other vendor for that matter). Maybe it is water needs, kitchen needs, cleaning needs, or anything else; whatever it is that proves to be a reoccurring oversight, the venue will have noticed. Ask for their experience so you can adequately prepare.
All Things Wedding Venue
After you say “YES!” to your fiance, saying “YES!” to your wedding venue is the next big wedding-related commitment you will make (unless you intend to hire a wedding planner) . Locking in a venue will solidify your wedding date & location, provide you with insight into what other vendors you will need, and allow you to manage how the rest of your wedding budget is allocated. These key factors will guide you throughout the rest of your wedding planning. Feel confident with the venue you choose by following this guide!
This article is divided into 3 sections:
What you need to know and consider before beginning your venue search
Questions to ask a wedding venue prior to booking
Maximizing the value of your venue
After you say “YES!” to your fiance, saying “YES!” to your wedding venue is the next big wedding-related commitment you will make (unless you intend to hire a wedding planner- and sometimes even then) . Locking in a venue will solidify your wedding date & location, provide you with insight into what other vendors you will need, and allow you to manage how the rest of your wedding budget is allocated. These key factors will guide you throughout the rest of your wedding planning. Feel confident with the venue you choose by following this guide!
This article is divided into 3 sections:
What you need to know and consider before beginning your venue search
Questions to ask a wedding venue prior to booking
Maximizing the value of your venue
What you need to know and consider before beginning your venue search
Plan your overall budget before signing a venue contract. Budget should come first and foremost when considering your venue. No matter what your budget is; it matters! As the single largest expense for most weddings, if you go over budget on the venue, the rest of the budget is going to suffer. If you are considering hosting a backyard wedding prepare a very realistic budget outline to weigh the actual cost! Sometimes backyard weddings can save money, sometimes they will end up costing more. It completely depends on your unique situation.
Consider your guest count. Guest count is going to have a massive impact on how much you spend on each aspect of your wedding. It will also limit your options for venues. Many venues have maximum guest counts, while some venues have minimums! Some venues that can accommodate larger weddings will charge for people over a certain number (for example, a venue that has the potential to hold 500 guests may start charging $15/person after the first 100 guests). If you are considering hosting at a private property, a smaller guest count can make a backyard wedding more affordable while a larger guest count can push a backyard wedding well past what an actual venue would cost.
Types of venues and what they include. Prior to beginning your venue search be sure to consider the varying levels of inclusivity offered. The type of venue you choose will have a big effect on how the rest of your budget will need to be allocated and how much effort the rest of planning will require. While venues range drastically on what they include or don’t include, there are five general “blanket categories” that they will typically fall into.
All inclusive venues- Some venues are truly one stop shops. This means they will provide almost everything you need for your wedding! True all inclusive venues aren’t common and are usually only found at popular tourist and destination wedding locations.These venues always include a ceremony area, chairs for the ceremony, altar, appetizers, full meal, cake, service staff, tables, table linens, dinner chairs, plates, napkins, silverware, drinking glasses, basic decor, lighting, dance floor, day of coordination, timeline preparation and a photographer. They will often also include design consultations, an open or semi-open bar, florals, DJ, sound equipment, bridal suite, hotel suite for the newly weds, an officiant for your ceremony, and/or a videographer. They will usually also offer package deals on hotel rooms for guests and occasionally may include a few guest rooms in the overall package price. These venues will usually offer optional upgrades to any of the services they provide for additional fees. This all sounds expensive, but often they are actually less expensive than piecemealing a wedding together from afar (especially considering the typically high cost of weddings at popular destination wedding locations). A major drawback to a venue like this is the lack of customization available. These venues work well for destination weddings since it is harder to plan a wedding from afar.
Mostly inclusive venues- Mostly inclusive venues are fairly common. These venues are typically hotels, ballrooms, event halls, etc. These venues almost always include appetizers, full meal, cake, service staff, tables, table linens, dinner chairs, plates, napkins, silverware, drinking glasses, lighting, dance floor, basic clean up, and a venue coordinator (different than a day of coordinator! More on this under item #13). Essentially everything you need to host a nice party will be included. Fairly often they will also include a ceremony area, chairs for the ceremony, altar, bar, and/or basic decor. You will still need to find vendors like your coordinator, photographer, videographer, florist, DJ, hair and makeup teams, officiant, etc. Again, it sounds like all of this would be expensive, but often it ends up being less money than independently hiring each vendor since so much is bundled into one package! These types of venues still lack the full freedom for customization and often come with outside vendor restrictions (meaning, you will likely have to select vendors from their pre approved vendor list).
Somewhat inclusive venues- Somewhat inclusive venues typically provide power, bathrooms, tables, chairs, onsite security, and parking. Often they will also include a dance floor, lighting, physical bar space, additional tables for special displays (i.e. dessert, gifts, welcome table, etc.), ceremony area, ceremony seating, altar, bathroom amenities (toilet tissue, soap, paper towels, etc), running water for vendors, trash removal, and/or a venue coordinator (different from a day of coordinator!). These venues are usually fairly open to allowing outside vendors and typically come at a lower starting rate. These venues allow for a lot of customization! If you are considering a venue that matches this description be sure to take a very close look at your overall budget before signing a contract. Though the site fee may seem low, the overall cost of the wedding may end up being higher once you select all of your other vendors.
Almost blank slate venues- Some venues label themselves as “blank slates,” but they aren’t truly blank slates. They will include the absolute basics like power, restrooms, and parking. They will occasionally include things like covered or indoor areas, lighting, water access for vendors, parking attendants, security, trash cans, trash bags, bathroom amenities (i.e. toilet tissue, soap, paper towels, etc.), and/or trash removal. They rarely have strict rules and/or vendor restrictions. These venues offer a lot of room to customize your wedding, and the site fees are often much lower than a more inclusive venue, but again, be sure to consider all of the other expenses your wedding will incur prior to signing a contract.
Truly blank slate venues- Blank slate venues are essentially empty areas that you transform into an event space. You will need generators for power, bathrooms, lighting... EVERYTHING. Since these spaces require everything to be brought in, they rarely have strict rules and/or vendor restrictions. This offers a ton of room for customization! It also allows for a lot of room for error (think Fyre Fest). Prior to booking, be sure to think through every single aspect of what is needed to host your wedding and make sure you are up for the challenge! The key to hosting a successful wedding at a blank slate venue will be a can-do attitude and an amazing team of vendors! The site fees are usually lower compared to more inclusive venues with a similar aesthetic in the area, however, cost effectiveness is about 50/50 on these venues. Depending on your design vision and the site fee, creating your desired wedding aesthetic piecemealing your wedding together may end up costing more or less than hosting at a more inclusive type of venue.
What time of year are you hoping to host your wedding? The time of year you choose to host your wedding will greatly affect a few aspects of your wedding venue.
Pricing- Most venues have “off season” and “peak season” pricing. Since winter weddings are less common, venues offer lower pricing to fill their winter dates.
Weather- The weather changes with the season and should be taken into consideration when choosing a venue. If you are getting married at a particularly rainy, cold, hot, or windy time of year, outdoor venues or venues without AC can create some challenges. Accommodating for the weather may impose some additional costs (i.e. tent, heaters, umbrellas, or fans rentals).
Landscape- As the weather changes so does the natural landscape. This is particularly important for outdoor venues, but is still relevant for indoor venues with larger windows. The leaves change color, certain flowers may or may not be in bloom, the grass may be green or beige, etc. The natural color schemes present on your wedding date will affect your overall aesthetic.
Pro-tip #1: Visit your venue around the time of year you will be married to fully understand the naturally occurring elements. If physically visiting is not possible, find pictures from previous weddings held at your venue from around the same time in previous years.
Indoor, outdoor, or combo venue?
Indoor venues-
Pros- Controlling the climate is usually a non-issue! Weather can’t easily rain on your parade if you are indoors! In addition, power, restrooms, and water are almost always available at indoor venues. You also are less likely to have your music volume closely monitored since the music won’t be as audible to neighbors (some sound ordinances may still need to be adhered to).
Cons- Most of the negatives of an indoor venue are purely aesthetic. There is always less natural light than at an outdoor venue. You will also have to work around existing decor (i.e. wall color, flooring, art pieces, lighting, etc.). Indoor venues are also more likely to have strict policies on how and where decor can be displayed (more on this under item 11).
Outdoor venues-
Pros- Outdoor venues are beautiful! There is always a lot of natural light and the existing foliage will add to the overall aesthetic. The smell of your dinner won’t linger in the air throughout dinner, and you will have the opportunity to dance under the stars!
Cons- You will need to consider the weather to ensure guest comfort. Wildlife may also be an issue (i.e. BUGS). Sound ordinances are usually a bigger issue at outdoor venues (though many remote outdoor venues won’t have this problem).
Combination Indoor/Outdoor venues- The indoor and outdoor spaces of a venue that offers both can be utilized in a variety of ways. The most common use of space is to host the ceremony and cocktail hour outdoors and dinner and dancing take place indoors. It is fairly common for dinner to also take place outdoors, it just depends on the available space and venue restrictions. Some venues will have strict, designated areas for each portion of the wedding to take place, while others will allow you to use each space as you see fit.
Pros- You get the best of both worlds! At least a portion of your wedding will occur in the gorgeous natural light surrounded by the beautiful landscape. If there is inclimate weather, you have a built in backup plan at little to no additional cost! Since dancing usually occurs indoors you are less likely to have noise volume strictly monitored.
Cons- You may love one of the spaces, but not be totally in love with the other. Maybe just the indoor or outdoor area is really speaking to you, but the other space is a compromise. You are also likely to run into some decor placement and display restrictions for the indoor portion of the event. You will also have to work around existing decor and design elements in the space.
Separate ceremony and reception locations / things to consider when selecting a place of worship. Some religions or specific religious leaders require wedding ceremonies to take place within a place of worship. Some couples simply prefer to be married in a place of worship. Since chapels, synagogues, temples, etc. don’t usually allow receptions to be held onsite, you will need to find another space to host the celebration following your ceremony. Many reception venues do offer ceremony locations which are perfect for couples looking for minimal or no religion in their ceremony or for couples who have a religious leader willing to perform a marriage ceremony outside of a place of worship. If you choose to split the ceremony and reception between two venues there are a few things you can do to make the transition smoother.
Consider proximity- Choose venues relatively close together (more on this under item #8 section d).
Plan for guest transport- It is nice to provide transportation for guests between the two locations. This is not necessary, but if it fits into your budget it is a huge convenience for guests, ensures all guests make it to the reception location in a timely manner, and guarantees guests won’t be drinking and driving later in the night.
Ask about parking- If the venues are walking distance from one another or if you provide transportation between the venues but not to the ceremony location, ask the venue if guests are able to leave their cars at the ceremony location for the duration of your reception. Be sure to ask about overnight parking as well! If guests drink at the reception or simply don’t want to return to the ceremony location that evening they may choose to leave their vehicle overnight. Confirm the rules on this and communicate the expectation (and potential repercussions) with guests so they can prepare accordingly.
Decor- Ask about decor restrictions at your ceremony location. Many places of worship have restrictions on what decor can and cannot be placed. Also consider: what decor you will need at each space, who will set up the decor at each space, if decor can be transferred between spaces, and who will transfer the decor if necessary.
Ask about vendor restrictions- Many places of worship have restrictions on what vendors can be onsite and/or policies on how vendors should conduct themselves. For example, many places of worship will limit photographer access and only allow them to take pictures from the back of the chapel, synagogue, temple, etc. Some won’t allow photographers or videographers at all! While this isn’t particularly common, it is worth discussing prior to signing a contract!
Consider the overall aesthetic you are going for. All venues will have some kind of existing aesthetic that may or may not work with your design vision. An event space such as a ballroom, conference room, etc., has carpeting, wall colors, table and chair choices, and existing artwork to take into consideration. Outdoor venues will have trees that produce different colors in different seasons. When you tour venues, make sure you are looking at every existing design element (both natural and manmade), and consider how it will work with your desired aesthetic. Click here for more on building a wedding design and how this is relevant to your venue.
Location, location, location. The physical location of the venue is so important, but how it is important will vary depending on each couple’s unique situation.
Traveling guests- If a large portion of your guest list (over 25%) will be traveling by plane to attend your wedding, consider proximity to an airport. You don’t necessarily need to be next door, but within an hour of an airport is ideal. If a large portion are traveling by either plane or car, you will need to consider where the nearest hotel is.
Hotel proximity- Speaking of hotels and traveling guests, you will need to find a hotel that is relatively close to the reception venue. Finding a hotel that is close and affordable for guests is convenient and ensures that your block is filled so you aren’t left with a hefty bill for unfilled rooms. This will also decrease travel time and transportation costs to and from the venue.
Travel fees- For particularly remote locations, many vendors will charge a travel fee. This should be considered into your overall budget if you have fallen in love with a venue that is a ways off the beaten path.
Separate ceremony and reception venues- If you are hosting your ceremony and reception at separate venues you will need to find two spaces that are relatively close together. This makes commuting more convenient for guests, but will also maximize your time with vendors that need to be at both locations like your photographer, videographer, coordinator, etc.
Location aesthetic- If you have a specific look or feel you are going for (i.e. beach, woodsy, mountains, rustic, modern/industrial, etc.) make sure you find a venue that will work for your feel. While it is not 100% necessary to have a beach venue for a beach themed wedding, finding a location that inherently encompasses your theme will help make your design more cohesive.
Think about your absolute “must haves.” Your venue “must haves” can be anything! For some people, being within budget may be the biggest “must have,” for others it may be location, date availability, aesthetic, or any other number of things. Before beginning your venue search, write out a list of the most important venue elements to you and your fiance. Order the deciding factors based on priority level. This will help guide your venue search! You may not find a space that checks off all of the boxes, but try to find a venue that includes at least the majority of your most sought after features.
Look for the “wow” factor. At all price points you can find venues with a “wow” factor. This may be a stunning view, interesting history, perfect location, incredible price, or any other number of things. The “wow” factor is what makes your venue stand out above the rest.
Rules and restrictions may apply. Read the fine print before booking a venue and have a very clear understanding of what you are signing up for. There are a few common restrictions that many couples find are deal breakers.
Vendor restrictions- Many venues will have strict vendor policies. The strictest vendor policies only allow you to book from the venue’s pre-approved vendor list. This often means booking vendors who don’t exactly work with your vision and/or are not in your desired price range. If you are considering a venue with this policy be sure to personally vet each vendor they require prior to signing a contract with the venue. Some venues will allow you to bring in outside vendors as long as they are licensed, insured, and/or sign a document saying they agree to the venue’s “house rules.” This approach is actually in your best interest! Hiring professionals to work your wedding is very important (as opposed to finding “hobbyists” or random people agreeing to provide a service they don’t typically do) and having the vendors sign an agreement with the venue takes some of the liability for accidents on the vendors’ part off of you.
Fire restrictions- Many venues, especially in drier areas, have limits on fires. Some absolutely prohibit any kind of flame. Some may only allow contained flames. If your design vision includes a lot of candles or you’ve always dreamed of a sparkler exit, this restriction won’t work for you. Note that fire restrictions will often completely prohibit smoking. If you have a large number of guests who smoke and a venue with strict policies make sure to communicate this to your guests so they can make appropriate accommodations for themselves and you aren’t stuck with a hefty fine at the end of the night!
End time- It is fairly common, especially for outdoor venues in areas with sound ordinances, to have strict end times when the party must stop. If you were picturing your friends and family dancing into the wee hours of the morning, a venue with a 10:30pm end time is not going to work for.
Sound restrictions- Apart from (though sometimes in conjunction with) sound ordinances, some venues will require your noise level stay below a certain decibel. This makes sense for a lot of venues. Annoying the neighbors with loud music is a quick way to lose an event license! There are two main approaches to ensuring this happens.
They require your DJ use their house speaker system- More often than not, the house systems are fine! They provide ample sound and the DJ may even offer a discount since they won’t need to provide their own sound equipment. However, occasionally the house systems are less than stellar. Sometimes they are so quiet that guests won’t want to dance and/or the microphone can’t be heard. Another typical problem with house systems is equipment failure. Your DJ may be able to quickly troubleshoot if something goes wrong with their own equipment (things happen, technology isn’t perfect), but they may not be particularly familiar with the ins and outs of the house system. Often the wires for house systems are run through walls, so troubleshooting isn’t even possible for the duration of your event. Some ways to ensure neither of these situations occur or will be an issue: 1) during your venue tour listen to the house system at the maximum allowed volume. Consider how that volume will translate to a full room. Remember, the volume will sound much louder when the room is empty! 2) Ask about the backup plan should anything go array with the sound. Will your DJ be allowed to set up their own equipment if something goes wrong? Is someone onsite to help troubleshoot? If the venue does provide a designated person to troubleshoot, are they a sound engineer with experience, or is it a site manager who is just doing their best? 3) Thoroughly read reviews of the venue for specific mentions of the sound quality. If any sound issue has commonly occurred in the past, it will surely be mentioned in reviews!
They monitor the sound the DJ or musician is producing- This typically won’t affect the microphone at all, but occasionally it will have an impact on the dancing portion of the evening. Again, read reviews and look for common mention of sound restrictions proving to be an issue.
Alcohol limitations- Beyond the basics, such as only serving alcohol to those of the legal age limit and not over serving guests, some venues have strict rules on alcohol or may not allow any alcohol. While almost all venues require licensed bartenders (if they don’t require this, you should absolutely only hire a licensed bartender anyway), some will take their rules a step further by restricting the alcohol to beer and wine only or none at all. This is a less common rule, but it is a quick decision making limitation for couples that want to provide alcohol for their guests.
Trash removal- Trash removal is such an underrated service. If you find yourself at a venue that does not include trash removal and you haven’t planned an alternative for trash removal, you will come to appreciate just how important this piece is at the end of your wedding. Some venues will include this in their services, others will not. While this may not be a reason to count out a venue, it is certainly a huge plus when you find it listed in a venue’s package! If you book with a venue that does not include trash removal be sure to thoroughly plan for this!
Decor restrictions- Most venues don’t want you to place any decor in such a way that could potentially damage or permanently alter their existing space. It makes sense! The venue will host many events after yours, and everyone deserves to have the same quality of space so they can’t risk you changing permanently. There are plenty of ways to still incorporate all of your design elements, though it may be a little trickier and more expensive than simply nailing something to the wall. This may not work for your vision! If you want gorgeous, lush hanging floral arrangements, a venue that won’t allow this isn’t going to be a good fit. Note: There are plenty of ways to still have all of the hanging pieces you want! Installing them just may come at a higher price!
Rental restrictions- Some venues (typically higher end venues) often have lovely furniture that was carefully selected to work with the rest of the design elements in their space. Occasionally a venue that has invested in quality furnishings will be reluctant (or outright refuse) to move their property to storage. It is not particularly common for couples to replace the existing furniture at these types of venues anyway, but, of course, there are exceptions! If you find a beautiful venue, and want to go a different route with the furniture make sure they allow outside rentals to replace their furniture prior to signing a contract with them.
Photography restrictions- This is not a common restriction for venues to have, but when they do it is a quick way to send couples running! Usually venues that have photography restrictions will still allow photography, you will just need a permit beforehand. If that is the case, photography restrictions shouldn’t necessarily be a deal breaker. If no photos are allowed, be sure you are comfortable with this and communicate the restriction with guests so you aren’t stuck with a fine at the end of the night!
Know the difference between a venue coordinator and a day of coordinator. There is often a lot of confusion around the role of a venue coordinator and it is often assumed they will act as a day-of coordinator. This misunderstanding can result in the cost of a day of coordinator being overlooked initially, and then being added down the road. This is a huge expense to leave out of the overall budget! Make sure you understand the difference and know exactly what your venue’s package includes.
Venue coordinator- A venue coordinator’s job is to manage all of the venue related services. This usually includes ensuring the tables and chairs are arranged how you previously discussed, handling bathroom restocking, taking care of maintenance issues, making sure the venue’s policies and protocols are adhered to, etc. Just as your photographer will take care of all things photography, but only photography, your venue coordinator is the representative and team captain for the venue, and only the venue.
Day-of coordinator- The day of coordinator does all of the things you would typically take care of as the host of a party. They are the team captain of all of the wedding vendors, including the venue coordinator. In a nutshell, they usually take care of making the space pretty and ensuring the day runs smoothly. They communicate with all of the vendors beforehand to make sure everyone is on the same page, ensure vendors arrive on time, start at their contracted time, perform all of the tasks they agreed to, and are cued before special events. They will troubleshoot if something goes awry with the vendors or the timeline. This is your right-hand for the day, taking care of all of the behind the scenes aspects to your wedding so you can focus on getting married and celebrating! Click here to learn more about the wedding coordinator’s role in your big day!
Day of the week and pricing. Many venues have special pricing for weekdays, Fridays, and Sundays. Since these days are less common for weddings to occur, venues will often offer their space at a lower rate to fill the dates!
Questions to ask a venue prior to booking
The basics-
Are you available on my desired date? If not, what days within a few weeks of my desired date do you have open?
Do you require a deposit? How much?
When is the balance due?
What is your preferred method of payment?
What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?
What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?
What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?
What is the backup plan if you are unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?
Are there any additional fees, such as taxes, staffing fees, etc., that are not included in the package price?
Are you licensed?
Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your staff and property?
Pricing details & Venue Requirements-
What is the site fee?
Is there special pricing for off season dates or days that are not Saturday?
Do you offer discounts if I pay in full upfront?
Do you offer discounts if I pay cash?
Do you charge a service fee if I pay with a credit card?
How many total hours will we have access to the space?
How many guests can your venue accommodate?
Are there additional fees if I have over a certain number of guests?
Will you provide me with a preferred vendors list?
Do you require that I use only your pre approved vendors?
Do you have restrictions on outside vendors?
Are there any additional fees for using outside vendors?
Do my vendors need insurance?
Am I required to have any specific type of vendor (i.e. security, valet, parking attendant, a wedding planner, or day of coordinator)?
Do I need event insurance?
Do you have any restrictions on open flames (i.e. candles, sparklers, cigarettes, etc.)?
Do you have any sound restrictions?
Are there any restrictions regarding alcohol? (i.e. Are we allowed to have alcohol? Do I need a licensed bartender? Can I provide my own alcohol? Is there a specific required time for last call?)
Are there any restrictions to what decor I can use or how decor is displayed?
Are there any additional services you offer that I can add to my package?
LOGISTICS-
How many hours prior to my wedding start time will vendors and the bridal party have access to the space?
Is there a limit to how many hours my event can last?
What is the absolute latest my wedding can go until?
Is there an additional fee past a certain time of night?
Do you have restrooms onsite?
Do you provide bathroom essentials (i.e. toilet tissue, running water, paper towels, etc.)?
Do you have ADA compliant restrooms and access throughout the venue?
Do you provide power, water, a kitchen, covered areas, lighting, and/or other accommodations my vendors may need?
Is there adequate existing lighting or will I need to bring in my own?
Do you provide tables, chairs, ceremony seating, physical bar space, heaters, tents, umbrellas, etc.?
Do you offer spaces for the bridal party to get ready? Can I see them? (Hint: Check for showers, sinks with running water, outlets, mirrors, lighting, AC, and overall space provided.)
Do you provide any staff for my wedding?
Does the venue staff take care of maintaining and stocking the restrooms?
Does the venue staff take care of trash removal?
Do you provide security?
Do you provide parking attendants and/or valet?
Will I have access to the space for my ceremony rehearsal and, if so, for how many hours?
When will I be able to reserve my rehearsal date?
Where will my guests park?
In the past, how easily are guests able to call taxis or rideshares?
If the venue is in a remote location with limited cell phone service, do you provide Wifi?
Are you anticipating making any changes to the space between now and my wedding date?
Maximizing the value of your venue
Ask the venue manager about common oversights or mishaps that occur at their venue. The venue manager or event manager is at this location every single weekend. They know their venue and packages backwards and forwards. They also bare witness to any planning flaws that come to light during the course of an event. Ask about the most common oversights! Usually reoccurring oversights will be something logistical, like trash removal or having adequate lighting. All of these oversights are easily avoided by talking through them prior to your wedding!
Communicate often (as necessary) with the venue manager. The venue manager is your ally in wedding planning. Though they aren’t a wedding planner, they can still offer valuable insight into how ideas similar to yours previously worked in their space. They may have suggestions of how to most effectively utilize their space, how many service staff members to hire, where to place decor, what floral pieces work best where, etc. Let them know of any changes in your design or overall wedding planning so they are able to pivot as necessary. This will also allow the venue manager the opportunity to help you only plan things that the venue allows and avoid any fines. Before purchasing 200 sparklers, confirm with your venue manager that this is okay!
Take your wedding planner or coordinator to the venue beforehand. Although pictures will help immensely, there is nothing like seeing a space in person to fully grasp your wedding vision. By attending a venue walkthrough with your planner or coordinator, you will be able to show them exactly where and how you want everything set up. They will also be able to offer their professional opinion on the functionality of your vision, floor plan, design plan. They will also be able to suggest additional design elements where necessary and troubleshoot any issues they find in the space prior to your wedding day!
Use the existing amenities. If possible, utilize the furniture, accent pieces, etc. provided by the venue instead of replacing it with outside rentals. This will save you money and time! The furnishings provided by the venue usually work well with the overall aesthetic of the space, anyway, so it is a win-win!
Work with the aesthetic, not against it. Play up the existing aesthetic of the space. If the carpet is blue, use it as one of your wedding accent colors. If the overall feel of the space is vintage, incorporate this into your wedding design. This will have a dramatically positive impact on the way everything comes together and ultimately save you a lot of headache over trying to work around the existing design. Having a general idea of your desired overall aesthetic prior to booking your venue is a huge advantage!
Take their preferred vendor list to heart, but do your own research. Venues usually provide clients with a preferred vendors list. This list includes their favorite vendors who they have seen work successfully in their space. Not only are these vendors familiar with the floor plan, venue policies, and venue staff, they are almost always licensed professionals with years of experience. Do your own research into the vendors listed, though! Some of the vendors may not be the right fit for your vision or personality. The venue may have also had ulterior motives for adding these vendors to the list. Oftentimes vendors will offer each other monetary compensation for referrals and, unfortunately, on rare occasions those kickbacks can supersede vendor quality.
Take a lot of pictures during your walk through. A picture is worth a thousand words, but in the case of wedding planning they may be worth two thousand! As you hire vendors sending them pictures of the blank space will be useful for understanding the space you are describing. Your florist will be able to see exactly how much space they need to fill. Your planner will be able to envision the design elements needed to customize the space for you. The DJ and caterer will be able to gauge where and how to best set up. Your photographer will get an idea of lighting and where to take pictures. You will also benefit from these pictures as you work to complete your design. Often little details will be overlooked as you try to recall the space from memory. Pictures will help figuratively fill in the gaps throughout planning, so you can literally fill them with your wedding design!
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Wedding Design Building Guide
Wedding design is a world of endless possibilities. The best part, there are no right or wrong answers! There are, however, some steps to getting started on your wedding design and guidelines to refer to throughout the planning process that will make developing and implementing your design simpler and fun. Follow the guide below for a smooth wedding design building process.
This blog is divided into 11 sections:
Where to start with wedding design
How to select a color scheme
What comes first, the venue or the design?
Furniture and design consistency
Where to find decor
How to select decor
Utilizing lighting to accentuate your design
Utilizing florals to accentuate your design
You, your fiance, your bridal party, the guests & your design
How to budget for wedding design
Tying it altogether
Wedding design is a world of endless possibilities! You have an opportunity to create a fully custom event that perfectly reflects you and your fiance’s personalities. The best part is there are no right or wrong answers! There are, however, some steps to getting started on your wedding design and guidelines to refer to throughout the planning process that will make developing and implementing your design simpler and fun. Follow the guide below for a smooth wedding design building process.
This blog is divided into 11 sections:
Where to start with wedding design
How to select a color scheme
What comes first, the venue or the design?
Furniture and design consistency
Where to find decor
How to select decor
Utilizing lighting to accentuate your design
Utilizing florals to accentuate your design
You, your fiance, your bridal party, the guests & your design
How to budget for wedding design
Tying it altogether
Where to start with wedding design-
Budget- The absolute first step will be settling on an overall wedding budget and deciding how many guests you will invite (more info on budgeting specifically for decor in the second to last section of this article). While neither of these two factors are inherently design oriented, they are the building blocks to wedding planning and will help guide the design process! As you work through the next steps, keeping your budget and guest count in mind will help manage your expectations and ultimately narrow down exactly what design elements are financially attainable to achieve your desired aesthetic. Click here for guidance on building your wedding budget!
YOU- After your budget is decided, start building your wedding design by turning to yourself for ideas. Your own mind is already chalk full of your likes, dislikes, interests, etc. Although your wedding style can vary significantly from design choices you make in other areas of your life, your vision should start with you (and your fiance, of course)! Thinking through what kind of colors, textures, and styles you are already drawn to will help you shape and maintain your vision as you move through the design process.
The Internet- Next, turn to the internet for some guidance! Pinterest has had a massive impact on the wedding industry, especially when it comes to design. Since Pinterest first launched, we have seen wedding styles become increasingly more diverse and creative. In addition to Pinterest, Instagram and wedding blogs offer loads of inspiration! Find a few pages that you like and keep up with their latest information and ideas. It is easy to get lost in the rabbit hole of Pinterest and Instagram and the further in you go, you may find that your vision is shifting from what you initially thought you wanted. That is okay! Save the inspiration pictures you love along the way and then look at them all together. Find what works, doesn’t work, or simply needs to be adjusted to fit into your evolving vision.
Consult a Professional- Finally, consult with a professional. A professional wedding planner or wedding designer can help develop your vision. If you have a few loose ideas they can help you fill the gaps and tie everything together. If you have no idea of what you’d like, they can gather some general information about you and your fiance in order to build your perfect wedding that you couldn’t quite envision in your mind. If you have a very specific vision, these professionals will be able to take your wants and needs and turn them into reality!
Pro-tip #1: Be aware as you search the internet that a lot of the beautiful designs you come across will come at a price. This may seem obvious, but Pinterest has a way of captioning very beautiful things in ways that make them seem very attainable budget-wise. Just take the ideas with a grain of salt until you do your own research to decide if it will work with your budget.
Pro-tip #2: Often Pinterest will depict DIY projects with incredible results. It is totally possible to break out the hot glue and create some amazing decorations for your wedding! Know your strengths and proceed accordingly. Budgets are easily blown on failed DIY attempts. If you want to try a project, try a smaller project using similar materials to gauge how the bigger project will go! When in doubt, look up a video tutorial!
Pro-tip #3: Keep your Pinterest boards organized! Instead of having one large “our wedding” board, divide the board into sections. Having a designated space for each design element is convenient, not only for yourself, but also for the vendors you will share these boards with. A lot of planners, designers, hair stylists, makeup artists, florists, bridal boutiques, etc. will ask to see your inspiration to understand your vision. Providing a streamlined and up-to-date vision board is a must!
How to select a color scheme-
How many colors?- Typically selecting between three to five colors total for your wedding is suggested. Anything less can be understated or non cohesive, anything over has the potential to become busy or non cohesive. There are, of course, a million and one exceptions to this, but having this range in mind is helpful when starting your color selection process! Ideally you will have two main colors and two to three accent colors. The main colors don’t necessarily need to go together on their own, because the accent colors will bridge the gap between them. Stick to one consistent factor among your colors (tone, hue, base color, etc.) your end result will be lovely!
Season- Season is a great place to start when considering colors for your wedding. If you are hosting a fall wedding deep reds, burnt oranges, and mustard yellows will be your friend! For a winter wedding, deep forest green, red, white, and even charcoal work beautifully! If your wedding is in spring softer colors like blush pink, denim blue, and champagne gold are perfect! For a summer wedding bright colors are perfect!
Pro-tip #4: Seasonal colors are a great guide for more than just being fashion forward. The seasonal colors are common in the flowers and decor available during that time. By choosing “in season” colors, your corresponding flower options will be less expensive and your decor options will be more readily available.
Venue- It is also beneficial to consider what colors will work with the venue you have chosen. If it is an outdoor venue, the season will impact what colors are naturally occuring and therefore alter your overall aesthetic. An indoor venue will have existing design elements such as carpeting, wall colors, furniture, or even specific styles of lighting fixtures that are worth considering.
Mood- Colors also help to set the mood for your wedding, so talk with your fiance about what message you want to send to guests. If you want something more traditionally romantic, lighter pastels will help convey this. For a more dramatic and passionate vibe, deeper darker tones will help create this atmosphere. No matter your desired mood, there are some great color options to help set the tone.
NO RULES… except one- While all of this is great in guiding color choice, you certainly don’t need to base your color choice on any of it. If you are choosing to theme your wedding (more on themes in the next section) pick colors that are prominent and relevant to your theme. If you have a favorite color use it and choose accent colors that will accentuate it. If you have a favorite flower, choosing the colors based on this flower will work! If you just really love typical “winter” colors, but are having a summer wedding, GO FOR IT! The only real rule of thumb is finding some kind of common factor to create a sense of cohesion for an aesthetically pleasing wedding.
Pro-tip #5: When in doubt, head to the paint aisle of a local store and check out some splotches! If you want to play around with colors and see how they work together, the paint strips at hardware stores are a great place to try different combinations out!
To theme or not to theme-
Inherit themes- Weddings have a way of inherently developing a broad “theme” as the design vision starts to take shape. Some of the more common themes are rustic, boho, minimalist, modern, and traditional/romantic. Oftentimes these inherit themes will coexist with one another. The key is keeping the design elements cohesive as you blend these themes. You don’t have to necessarily title your theme, but it can help you when it comes time to select decor and describe your overall aesthetic to vendors. For example, as you look back over your developing vision board you may notice that you are drawn to romantic, whimsical, boho designs. Congrats! That is now your “theme.”
Full-on niche themes- Some weddings have very specific niche themes that will shape the design vision. Themes can be anything! For example, beachy, Disney, Jurassic Park, Halloween, Star Wars, baseball… the options are endless! When a theme like this is chosen it is usually meaningful to the couple. If you love a theme, but your fiance isn’t quite on board, you can always use this theme for your engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party, or even rehearsal dinner instead!
Subtle themes- Not all specific themes have to dictate the entire wedding design! If you love Jurassic Park, you don’t have to fully commit. Instead of going all in to the point the groomsmen are in inflatable dinosaur costumes, consider just having a dinosaur cake topper, perhaps a few dinosaurs on signs, and maybe order more lush, prehistoric feeling fauna from your florist! A common trend for book lovers is using stacks of books for the centerpieces. Disney lovers often will include a Mickey Mouse charm on the bride’s bouquet and a few quotes from Disney movies displayed. If you don’t want to have a full on themed wedding, a simple nod to your passion is more than enough to convey the message.
What comes first, the venue or the design?
This will depend on you and your unique situation. Some people will quickly develop an overall desired aesthetic for their wedding and search for venues that will accentuate their intended design. Others will choose to let the budget determine their venue and plan the design around the venue they select. There are no wrong approaches, but there are advantages to thinking through what aspects you value the most and then using those to guide the planning process.
Either way, it is beneficial to think through at least some general design ideas before venue shopping. If budget is going to be the absolute determining factor on the venue, keep your vision flexible! Even if money is no object, you may find a venue that steals your heart, but requires a shift in your design vision! Until your venue is booked, have a loose design vision but, keep an open mind.
Pro-tip #6: Don’t count out a competitively priced venue just solely based on the existing aesthetic. Draping and lighting can easily be added to any space to completely alter the look!
Furniture and design consistency-
Furniture rentals: Going the rental route is going to give you the most control over achieving the exact look you want. There is no shortage of rental companies out there, which means one way or another you will have access to the exact furniture pieces you envisioned for your wedding. However, these options may be limited based on your budget.
If the gorgeous furniture you want isn’t financially feasible, a compromise may be finding something at a lower cost that is closer to your vision than what the venue offers, but not exactly your dream furniture. There are plenty of ways to play with the other design elements, to make the furniture cohesive with your vision. If this is still not going to work with your budget, then it is time to get creative!
Getting creative: If you cannot swing replacing the furniture at the venue, then it is time to turn those lemons into lemonade. Take a look at other weddings that have a similar aesthetic to what you are going for. There may be some more inspiration that you overlooked before, because you already had your mind set on a different look. Think of different table cloths, centerpieces, table runners, etc. that would be consistent with the look and feel you want to achieve. When considering table cloths, think about their texture, shine factor, and, of course, color. Table runners have a great way of adding dimension, which can make your tables feel fuller and more high end.
Transforming the chairs at your venue can be a little tricky, but it is doable! The basic white folding chairs are the easiest to modify. Drape a blanket over the back (this doubles as a guest favor and climate control, too!), add some sort of embellishment to the back, or wrap them completely. It should be noted that all of these options will be the same cost or more expensive than renting chairs! The most cost effective way to work with these chairs is to dress the table up enough that the chairs aren’t even a factor. The white folding chairs blend in easily to any aesthetic, which is why they are so common for venues to have.
Metal folding chairs and banquet chairs are harder to hide. Banquet chairs can be hidden with chair covers, but this has a very specific formal/traditional feel. You can consider draping something over the back to incorporate them into your design, or you can leave the chairs as is. If you leave the chairs alone, take a very calculated approach to how you decorate the table so that the chairs aren’t even noticed!
Metal folding chairs aren’t common at wedding venues, but if you are ballin’ on a budget, you may just have to work with them. If you can’t beat them, join them! The easiest way to work with folding metal chairs is to play into their industrial look. Incorporating other industrial elements, such as matching metals and clean lines, into the wedding will make the chairs feel more like a purposeful design decision rather than a budget-driven compromise.
Pro-tip # 7: If your chairs aren’t going to match perfectly with the rest of your aesthetic, making the other design elements full yet consistent will keep the overall look from becoming messy. Consider expanding your color pallet to 5 colors, but don’t surpass 5. Avoid super bright colors and go for either deeper tones or more dusty light tones. Pick a texture or two to incorporate several places throughout the reception space. The best way to work around any chair is to make those tables beautiful and keep the rest of your design very, very consistent and cohesive.
Where to find decor-
Wedding decor can be sourced in a variety of ways and you don’t have to select just one sourcing method. Decor is often rented from rental companies, wedding planners, venues, florists, or wedding decorators. Decor can also be purchased from craft stores, the internet, local boutiques, or any store that carries items that work with your design vision.
Decor can also be handmade! Personal touches are a great way to achieve your desired look and make the decor meaningful. If you aren’t personally crafty, find someone who is! There are plenty of professionals and hobbyists who are willing and able to custom make the decor of your dreams!
Pro-tip #8: Be sure to check out Facebook Marketplace, thrift stores, garage sales, etc. for gently used wedding decor. Millions of couples are married every year and purchase decor that will only be used once. You can find essentially brand new items at a fraction of the cost by being creative with where you source these materials!
How to select decor-
With so much access to inspiration and physical decor items, committing to just a few ideas can be challenging. Before actually purchasing any decor it is best to run through your budget and decide how much money you will allocate to decor.
Research accessibility & pricing- Once you decide on an overall amount, begin researching the cost of your favorite design ideas. If you can’t find the exact items you are searching for, look into commissioning those pieces! There are plenty of talented professionals out there that can create exactly what you are looking for! If your initial ideas don’t immediately fit into your budget, brainstorm alternatives that would produce the same effect for a lower cost.
Mentally map it- Mapping out your venue and mentally placing the decor pieces will give you a clear idea of how many pieces you need, what size your displays should be, and how full the space will look. Doing this after running through your budget, but prior to making any decor purchases will provide valuable insight into how your design elements will work together and how your ideal decor will fill out the space. Click here to visit our details blog for support on mapping out these areas!
Collect your items- After you have everything mapped out, begin purchasing, crafting, and/or renting the items you would like. This may take some time to find the exact pieces you want at a price you are comfortable with, so ideally this process should begin at least three-four months prior to your wedding, if not sooner!
Try it out!- This is the exciting part! After collecting your items, clear your dining room table and make mockups of how the centerpieces, accent tables, and other decor you’ve chosen will look. This will give you an idea of how full and cohesive your design is. Once you put everything together, you may decide to leave something out or add additional items to complete the look. If you go the decor rental route, the rental company will typically do this for you, either with you present or send pictures if being physically there to offer feedback isn’t an option. You will create or approve a mock up and they will implement the design on the day of your wedding!
Pro-tip #9: After creating your mock up centerpieces, accent table arrangements, etc. take pictures! Make sure they are clear and include all elements of the design. Whoever is in charge of setting up your decor on the wedding day will be able to recreate the exact look you are going for! Even if you are the one setting up your decor for the actual wedding, the pictures are still incredibly beneficial. You will have a lot of things running through your mind on that day, and you don’t want to stress yourself over trying to remember the design you wanted.
Pro-tip #10: If you don’t find exactly what you are looking for at a price you are comfortable with immediately, be patient! Check back with stores and second hand websites regularly as these items may become available or their price might drop as you get closer to your date! Don’t wait too long on items you feel particularly passionate about. If there is a decor piece that will make or break your day, commission the project so you are guaranteed to have it!
Utilizing lighting to accentuate your design-
In many ways, lighting is the single most important aspect of your wedding design. Lighting has the ability to make massive statements at a relatively low cost. This isn’t to say lighting is cheap, it is simply cost effective when considering the impact it will on the overall aesthetic. The main lighting categories you’ll need to consider include functional lighting, ambient lighting, dance floor lighting, and lights as decor.
Functional lighting- Guests and vendors will need to be able to see, so functional lighting is a necessity. This does not mean you need aggressively bright fluorescent lights, though! The functional lighting you choose can be beautiful and enhance your overall wedding design.
Dripping string lights hanging from the ceiling or suspended by strings over the dining area help light up the dinner portion of your evening and translate into photographs beautifully.
Tivoli market lights have been very popular over the past decade! They are a great way to increase visibility, correspond with a large variety of themes, and look amazing in pictures. They are so popular, in fact, that a lot of venues already have them and include them in their site fee.
Full “light canopies” are a more recent trend that can be accomplished in several ways. They are typically created by using smaller string lights placed closely together hung in a way that mimics a canopy. This look creates a “starry night” effect that works well with any theme!
Large light up hanging lanterns or globes are also gorgeous and versatile. You can choose to select one size and color or use a variety of lanterns to add depth and dimension. The hanging lanterns are usually paper globes with light bulbs inside, but depending on your venue and desired aesthetic, larger metal lanterns can also be used! The paper globe lanterns are typically used for a more playful, whimsical design. The metal lanterns can be boho, rustic, vintage, or woodsy depending on the specific lanterns you find. Since there are so many lantern options, this approach is perfect for any theme! A recent trend is for lanterns to be used on tables in addition to an alternative overhead lighting option.
Chandeliers are available in an array of styles and add a touch of elegance. Chandeliers are even being used at outdoor events! By bringing a typically “indoor” element to the outdoors you add an element of interest with your lighting.
No matter what lighting you go with, be sure that the bar, catering station, buffet table, water station, coffee station, and restrooms (including lighting on the way to the restroom) have plenty of lighting! Not only do the vendors at each respective station need to see particularly well, so do your guests when they are in these areas! If possible, add additional lighting (such as pinspot lights, overhead lighting, or a lamp) in these areas, to ensure everyone has plenty of visibility in order to do their job to the best of their ability.
Ambient lighting- Lighting is the perfect way to create ambience and complete your wedding design. While the functional lighting can be used to create ambience, there are several niche lighting options that can be added to set the mood!
Candles can be used in so many ways and send a lot of different messages. They are often placed on dinner tables to accent the centerpieces. They can either be free standing, in candelabras, candle votives, lanterns, or any other candle display you find! Since candles and the devices housing them come in so many colors, shapes, sizes, and styles they work well with any design theme.
Candles can also venture right off the tables and into other areas of your wedding! Large lanterns, candelabras, wall sconces, floating candles, and free standing large candles displayed in clusters are just a few more unique ways to utilize candles. A more recent and unique trend is to create “candle gardens” with an array of large free standing candles for guests to either exit or enter through!
Uplights (lights that shine upwards on walls, trees, draping, etc.) can add to the overall ambience by adding pops of your wedding colors around the room. Most professional uplights can be set to whatever color you choose or even change colors if you prefer variety.These are an efficient and effective technique to incorporate your color scheme into the physical wedding venue. They truly have the ability to transform any space dramatically from one event to the next!
Pro-tip #11: It should be noted that lighting solely intended to enhance the ambience does not usually provide enough visibility on their own and should be used in conjunction with another overhead lighting source.
Dance floor lighting- When the dancing portion of the evening arrives, dance floor lighting will communicate to guests that it is time to party! Typically your DJ or musician will provide these or offer them as an upgrade. There are a lot of options when it comes to dance floor lighting! Dance floor washes are great because they encompass your dance floor in colorful lighting creating a big impact with a single light type. Laser lights are fun for guests, because they can play with the light strands as they dance! Pulsing dance floor lights, rotating lights, or light shapes are some more fan favorites! There are also entire dance floors that light up and change colors to the beat of the music! Talk with your DJ or lighting professional to see what will be best to create your desired level of “party vibe.”
Pro-tip #12: Avoid strobe lights if possible. Many people have strobe light sensitivities that you (and potentially even they) aren’t aware of. With so many dance floor lighting options available, choosing to leave out the strobe lights won’t take away from the dance party at all! If you absolutely adore strobe lights, by all means have them! Just be sure to have a strobe free space for guests to retreat to if they start feeling uncomfortable.
Lighting as decor- Certain lights can be utilized on their own as decor or to highlight other design elements. These lights are definitely “extras,” but if you have room in your budget to include them, they will add a lot to your wedding design!
Pinspot lights (mini spot lights) are perfect for accentuating specific design features. These are much smaller than standard spotlights, which makes them ideal for drawing attention to your cake, desserts, sweetheart table, or other areas you worked hard to design.
Gobos are a great way to add a level of customization to your wedding. This is a light that projects monograms either on a wall or the dance floor usually of the newly weds’ initials and sometimes the wedding date. Depending on your venue size and desired effect, usually one or two Gobos will be plenty!
Neon signs can be placed anywhere around the venue as a sign, photo op, or just a pretty piece of decor. The more generic ones that say things like “love,” “cake,” “drinks,” etc. are readily available for rent. Alternatively, you can commission a custom neon sign that says your names or whatever else you like. Going this route will leave you with a fun souvenir from your wedding to use somewhere in your home! If you are interested in having a custom sign created check Etsy and Amazon.
Pro-tip #13: Be sure that you have a way to hang or prop up your neon sign if necessary! Most venues won’t allow you to add nails or any other hanging technique that may cause permanent damage, so if your intent is for them to hang, create a plan to do so.
Metal marquee letters are beautiful and can serve a variety of purposes. The small-medium ones can be used on or in front of your sweetheart table, dessert table, welcome table, etc. The large ones can either be used behind any of these tables, the dance floor, or any other area as a photo opportunity for your guests.
Small string lights, or “fairy lights” can be incorporated into your centerpieces or other accent arrangements on special tables to achieve a whimsical feel. These are a great option if your venue does not allow candles!
Pro-tip #14: A huge bonus of lighting is how it impacts your photos! Photographers often account for a large portion of your overall wedding budget, so making sure those pictures are beautiful throughout the event is important! Adequate and particularly lovely lighting features will ensure your photo quality and content is consistently worth the expense all evening long!
Pro-tip #15: When placing lights be conscious of the effect they will have on photos. For example, placing large marquee letters directly behind the sweetheart table may create a backlighting effect on your faces. Talk with your photographer about the lighting you are planning to ensure your photos won’t be affected by your light placement.
Pro-tip #16: Some lighting features require an outlet in order to operate. Take this into consideration when choosing placement, as they will need to be close enough to reach a power source. If they require an outlet, you will want to make sure the cord is not visible as this will take away from the rest of your beautiful design!
Utilizing flowers to accentuate your design-
Flowers are the perfect touch to complete your design and provide cohesion between your other decor pieces. Even if you choose to go a minimalist route with the flowers, they are still making a statement. By using flowers that have complimentary colors to the rest of your design, they will often bridge the gap between otherwise miss-matched pieces!
Personal flowers- Bouquets and boutonnieres help to incorporate you, your fiance, family members, and your wedding party into the overall design. The flowers will help make you and the VIP attendees appear cohesive with the rest of the colors and overall style without being too “matchy.” This is great for pictures and the general aesthetic as you walk around the celebration to greet guests.
Centerpieces- The flowers in your centerpieces make the table feel fresh, full, and help spread your design across the reception area. They also assist in conveying the mood of your wedding to your guests! If you are having a formal wedding, a beautiful arrangement of roses on each table will help maintain the beauty and formality. If you are having a casual wedding, a bouquet of wildflowers spreads the vibe throughout the space.
Altar/Aisle flowers- The ceremony space is usually the first designated area of your wedding that guests will see. This is a great chance to set the tone for the rest of the day! Wedding ceremony altars are often plain in order to provide each couple the opportunity to customize and make it their own. With an arrangement or two the altar is suddenly a gorgeous backdrop that you will be excited to be married in front of. Some people choose to add arrangements either at the front, back, or along the aisle to fill the space and incorporate more of their colors. Some florists will even repurpose the arrangements lining the aisle for your centerpieces and the arrangements on your altar for your sweetheart table!
Sweetheart table- You and your fiance are the stars of the show (for better or worse!) at your wedding, which means your sweetheart table will be getting a lot of attention! This space should not only be beautiful for aesthetic reasons, but also for your own happiness. Floral arrangements on and around your sweetheart table will help make this space a personal oasis to pop in and out of throughout the night!
Accent arrangements- To complete the wedding design, accent arrangements are often used on the dessert table, welcome table, gift table, and bar. Having these touches of color will help carry the design throughout your wedding!
Signage- Signs on their own have the potential to be a bit lackluster. If you have a simple sign, but your overall design isn’t minimalist, adding a garland or other floral arrangement will add a pop of color and make the sign feel like a more significant piece of the overall design.
Though flowers are a great addition to any design, they aren’t always necessary. Some people choose to skip them and only use greenery, and some people even choose to skip any kind of flora and fauna altogether!
Pro-tip #17: If you are working with a limited floral budget it is better to invest in a few special arrangements that you love, instead of spreading your budget thin and feeling disappointed by all of it! When you look back at your wedding photos you will see the bridal bouquet, the altar, and the sweetheart table over and over. Make sure you are happy with what you see!
You, your fiance, your bridal party, the guests & your design
Certain attire, hair, and makeup works better with different aesthetics. How everyone is dressed matters in relation to making everything cohesive!
The bride- The bride’s dress, hair, and makeup are such special components to a wedding. All eyes will be on the bride, and by proxy, the dress. Choosing a dress that works with the overall aesthetic is important for the final wedding design. This doesn’t mean your colors or even textures need to match, per say, but rather that the dress style should match your design style. For example, a boho wedding needs a boho dress; a formal wedding needs a formal dress; a minimalist wedding needs a minimalist dress. There are so many options within each category, so your options are certainly not too limited! The bride’s hair and makeup should also be taken into consideration. While you do have more wiggle room on how these aspects will play into the overall design, it is still important to think about how they will work with the overall design and feel of the wedding day.
The groom- Much like the bride, the groom has a spotlight on him so the groom’s attire will be a focal point of the evening. It will look the best and complete the wedding design if the attire works with the rest of the aesthetic. Often, to make the groom stand out next to his groomsmen, his suit will be slightly different. This is a great opportunity to play even further into the wedding design. Both the groom and groomsmens’ suits should work with each other and the overall design, but they can do so in different ways! In addition to his attire, the groom should be groomed. Grooms don’t typically have their hair and makeup professionally done on wedding day (though it does happen!), but a fresh haircut and beard shaping is key!
The wedding party- The wedding party gets a lot of attention, so what they wear matters for the overall aesthetic. Their attire should complement the bride(s) and/or groom(s) attire without distracting from or overshadowing it. Their attire is typically the two main colors of the wedding aesthetic, though occasionally one side of the wedding party will wear an accent color. In more recent trends, bridesmaids have been wearing mismatched dresses which provides the opportunity to incorporate all of the colors! Their attire should be flattering so they are comfortable and distractions inspired by an ill fitting wardrobe are minimized. Their attire should also match the formality of the event. Tuxedos and super formal evening dresses are not appropriate for all weddings! You can’t control the color or cut of your friends hair (though some people try!), but you can request they be freshly groomed and appropriately styled!
The guests- The exact attire the guests will wear is up to their own discretion, but you can (and should) specify the level of formality your wedding will be. This not only looks better and affects the overall aesthetic, but it also will make the guests more comfortable. No one wants to show up to a casual wedding in a ball gown! You can suggest or request colors and styles of attire for immediate family and Ushers who are participating in the ceremony and/or taking formal pictures with you, but typically people don’t suggest attire colors for the rest of their guests.
Pro-tip #18: The best accessory of all is a big, beautiful, genuine smile! Make sure everyone is feeling their best and going into the day in good spirits!
How to budget for wedding design-
You can budget however much you are comfortable with spending on decor, but a good place to start is 6-8% of the overall budget for flowers, 5-10% on lighting and/or other rentals, and 2-3% on miscellaneous decor.
While these percentages are a good starting place, in reality your own allocation of money may look very different. Your design budget will depend on what kind of aesthetic you are going for, the specific decor pieces you want, and what your venue or other vendors already include in their packages.
Since lighting and flowers create such an impact and require their own respective vendors, they typically earn separate places on the budget breakdown aside from the rest of decor. However, it should be noted that florists often offer decor rentals, so some of your decor may be lumped into the florist category of your budget.
Table linens, chargers, special drinking glasses, centerpiece components aside from flowers, and signage will usually be the next largest cost for decor. A lot of venues, caterers, florists, wedding planners, DJs, or any combination of these vendors may include some or all of these items in their packages or offer them as upgrades. If this happens, these elements may fall into a separate category on your overall budget.
Candles, votives, or other smaller decor pieces are usually the smallest portion of the design budget. Again, one of your vendors may include these items in their packages or offer them as rentals.
As you piece together your decor, track where each decor element is sourced from and reallocate money in the budget if needed.
Tying it all together-
Design vision can, and almost always will, shift as planning moves forward. It is important to keep the design cohesive as the vision evolves. When certain aspects are altered, added, or removed be sure to consider how this change will work with your other design elements.
As decor pieces are purchased, created, or rented be sure that new pieces will complement the existing pieces. This is most easily done by keeping the items or pictures of the items organized in one location so everything can be compared and contrasted as they are added to the wedding design!
Consult with your wedding planner, decorator, or florist as your vision evolves for a second opinion on your evolving vision. These professionals can offer valuable insight into how everything will work together, keep you on track if necessary, and provide advice on how to turn your dream into reality!
For More info & Helpful resources -
All Things Wedding Photographer
You spend months planning and preparing for your big day, and then just like that it comes and goes. The pictures (and potentially video) are the only concrete things you will have left to remember all of the special little moments that sped by. When it comes to booking a photographer there are so many things to consider in order to feel confident in your selection. Follow this guide to have a positive experience from start to finish with your wedding photographer!
This article is divided into 4 sections:
Things to consider about wedding photographers
Questions to ask a photographer prior to booking
What to do after booking to maximize the photographers services
An example photo shot list
You spend months planning and preparing for your big day, and then just like that it comes and goes. The pictures (and potentially video) are the only concrete things you will have left to remember all of the special little moments that flew by. Your wedding photographer is an investment in your memories! When it comes to booking a photographer there are so many things to consider in order to feel confident in your selection. Follow this guide to have a positive experience from start to finish with your wedding photographer!
This article is divided into 4 sections:
Things to consider about wedding photographers
Questions to ask a photographer prior to booking
What to do after booking to maximize the photographers services
An example photo shot list
Things to consider about wedding photographers
A wedding photographer is different from other photographers. Wedding photography requires a specific skill set that develops after working many weddings. They need to anticipate reactions, micro-events, and opportune moments for raw emotion. A professional wedding photographer has also mastered the skill of being in the right place at the right time, while avoiding stepping into the way of the bridal party or other professionals. They also are there to capture your emotion on a very important day. In order to do this properly, it takes a practiced eye! Wedding photographers also often are capturing individuals who aren’t used to being in front of a camera. Their experience helps make their clients feel comfortable expressing those incredible emotions in front of the camera and posing the couples who are a little camera shy!
There are a million photography and editing styles out there. Wedding photography looks so different from photographer to photographer. Before diving into your photographer search, be sure to do a little research into the various styles. This will help direct your search and guide your selection process.
Check for photo clarity when browsing albums. No matter what style of photography you are drawn to, check for photo clarity. This offers insight not only into skill and experience level, but also quality of equipment! Photo clarity is a good sign of a highly experienced, skilled individual working with great equipment! There are plenty of opportunities for action shots and of course those may be a little less clear than the still photos, but there should still be a general consistency of clarity amongst their photos.
Make sure your contract protects you. This is true for all vendors, but it is especially common to find vague or ambiguous wording in photography contracts. Time frames for photo return, a minimum amount of deliverable photos, and additional costs (should you choose to add a service later) should be specifically outlined in your contract. If you love a photographer and find that this information is missing from their contract, ask for it to be added! If they refuse to add in concrete deliverable information, this is a pretty big warning sign that they aren’t confident in the promises they are making!
Be mindful when negotiating pricing. Providing and valuing a service is a daunting task for an artistic professional. These professionals spend years perfecting their craft and adjust their pricing based on their ever evolving skill level and demand for service. If you fall in love with a vendor who is out of your price range, it never hurts to ask if they can accommodate your budget. The key here though is asking and understanding if they aren’t able to make this accommodation.
Always look through a few full albums before booking. Everyone wants to put their best foot forward, so the photographs included on each professional's website is going to be what they consider to accurately and positively reflect their work. Occasionally, photographers will link a full album or two on their website, but more often than not they will include just the highlights. There is nothing wrong with only including the highlights on their website! There is plenty of reason to do so! Typically you can find at least anywhere from 15-50 photos from past weddings on photographers’ websites to give an example of their work and hopefully entice you enough to reach out. However, 15-50 particularly gorgeous photos are not enough to gauge the consistency of quality in their work. Request a few full albums to peruse (they will almost always happily provide these- if they don’t, be concerned!). Look through the full albums to make sure they are consistent with the quality they exemplify on their website!
Talk to the professional either in person or on the phone prior to booking. This is true for all vendors, but especially important with your photographer. Your photographer will be spending the entire day with you, so it is very important to find someone whose personality meshes with yours.
Understand the difference between posed photos and authentic moments. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to capturing authentic moments vs. posed photos, but there is value in understanding the difference as a consumer. If you like being told how and where to stand, that is totally fine! Just be sure that you find a photographer who has experience doing this! If you prefer minimal or no posed photos, look for raw emotion and authentic moments captured in the full albums! Typically wedding photographers will favor one of these styles over the other, but include at least a little of both in your wedding photos.
The price you pay is not just for your wedding day. Photographers spend a lot of time on their clients. They dedicate time prior to the wedding to study your personalities, timeline, and shot list in order to be fully prepared to capture your day. After the wedding, they pour hours of time and energy into sifting through thousands of photos, finding the very best shots, and editing accordingly. They also invest a lot of money back into maintaining and upgrading their equipment to ensure they are providing the best service possible. Take all of this into consideration when discussing price! Depending on the professional and your wedding day timeline, they will have often spent upwards of 40 hours working on your wedding! Above all else, you are paying for an accurate representation of how the day unfolded so you can reminisce for years to come!
Questions to ask prior to booking a photographer
Pro-tip: Not all of these questions will be necessary in every situation. Some may not be applicable to you and a lot of this may be answered on your photographer’s website or pricing menu. Be sure to carefully select the questions that are relevant to your unique situation to avoid overwhelming yourself and the photographer with too much information!
Package Insight-
Are you available on my date?
Does your package include a second photographer? If I’d like to add a second (or third!) shooter, what is the cost for an additional shooter?
How many hours are included in your package?
What do you charge for additional hours?
Does your wedding package include an engagement session? If not, what is the cost of booking this separately?
How many edited photos can I expect back from my engagement session?
How many edited photos can I expect back from my wedding?
Do you provide “sneak peeks” for either the engagement session and/or the wedding?
If so, how many typically are provided in the “sneak peek” for each?
What is the turnaround time for my “sneak peek” photos?
What is the turnaround time for my full wedding album?
Will I have access to the raw photos?
How do you deliver the photos?
Will the images be accessible online? For how long?
Will the online photo gallery be shareable so I can give my friends and family access?
Are albums or prints included in your package? How many pages or prints are included? Will you be selecting the photos in the album or will we? What is the turnaround time?
If prints and/or albums are not included in your package, do we have the option to order them directly from you at an additional cost? If so, what is the additional cost?
Do you retain any of the rights to the photos?
What do the rights you retain mean for me?
Will you be posting any of our photos on your website and social media?
Will you need our separate permission to submit the photos to any third party publication or will you already have those rights according to the contract?
Do you charge a travel fee? If so, how much and for what distance?
Experience-
How long have you been a professional photographer?
How long have you been a wedding photographer?
How many weddings have you photographed?
How many weddings do you typically have in a single weekend?
Have you worked at my venue before? If not, will you attend a venue walk through to scout out ideal photo locations?
Can we see a few recent full wedding galleries? (Hint: ask to see at least 2-3 full albums and take a really good look through them!)
Style-
How would you describe your photography style?
How do you describe your working style? Are you in the background capturing the events unfolding around you? Are you more active in posing people?
What kind of camera do you use?
How will you and your team dress? (Hint: keep in mind that your photographer will be doing a lot of moving around, so while they should still dress appropriately for a wedding they typically don't dress as formally as the guests.)
Can we request a list of specific shots we would like?
How many photos do you typically capture throughout the course of a wedding day? (Hint: this is different from the amount of pictures returned according to your contract. This is the full amount they will be sifting through to choose which ones to edit. If the photographer gives you access to all of the raw photos, this number will be more relevant to you.)
Do you have experience working at indoor and/or outdoor venues and how do you compensate or play up the lighting?
Logistics-
When will we receive the contract?
How much do you require for a deposit? When is it due?
What is your payment schedule like? (I.e. When is the remaining balance due? Hint: most photographers take payments in 2-3 installments: 1st payment is the deposit, the remainder is due at varying times before the wedding. The exact payment schedule varies from photographer to photographer.)
What is your refund or cancellation policy if I cancel?
What is your refund or cancellation policy if you cancel?
Do you have liability insurance? Does it cover your second shooter and assistant(s), as well?
Do you carry backup equipment?
What is the backup plan if you are unable to personally work my wedding for any reason? Is this written into the contract?
Do you have experience working with a videographer? If so, how do you work with and around each other to ensure everyone is able to capture the important moments in full?
Bonuses-
Do you offer any additional services, like a photo booth or videography?
If you don’t personally offer videography, do you have a videographer you recommend?
Are you available to photograph any pre-wedding events (i.e. bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, engagement party, etc.)? If so, what are the rates for these?
Maximizing your photographer’s services
What to do after booking your wedding photographer
Schedule an engagement session. Engagement sessions are great for a few reasons. First, the photos they generate are great for save the dates, invitations, and your wedding website. Second, the engagement session is the perfect time to get to know your photographer a little bit better. Familiarity is comforting, and you want to be comfortable on your wedding day! Forming a foundational relationship with this professional during an engagement session is a great opportunity to become familiar with each other so you are comfortable spending your wedding day with them! Third, your engagement pictures will give you an idea of how your photographer’s style will translate to you. While the engagement pictures typically have a slightly different feel to them than the wedding photos, this is still the perfect chance to see how your photographer captures you (and make suggestions if necessary)!
Build your wedding day timeline and be sure to schedule adequate time to capture all of your desired shots. Photographers are usually happy to offer feedback on your timeline based on what you are expecting from the photos. If you want a lot of bridal party pictures, extended family pictures, sunset pictures, etc., you will need to allocate plenty of time to make sure you are setting the photographer up for success! If the timeline is tight you may have to cut your desired posed photo list down a bit or shift things to accommodate the desired photo list.
Consider what photos you really want captured, and communicate this with the photographer. It is fairly common for couples to prepare a “shot-list” of desired photos they’d like. While it is nearly impossible to guarantee those exact moments will be captured (guest cooperation, guest availability, timing, etc. will affect the ability for these desired photos to be captured), providing a “shot-list” will certainly make it much more feasible! This list doesn’t have to be long if you aren’t particular about what photos you’d like. Your photographer is a professional and will do an amazing job capturing your day without a guideline. However, if you are passionate about a few (or many!) shots, provide them with a list so they can do everything in their power to capture all of the moments and details you’d like pictures of! Check out our sample shot list in the next section!
Example shot list
Getting Ready
Bride and bridesmaids arriving to getting ready location
Bride's dress and/or robe hanging in a photogenic space
All of the bridesmaids’ dresses hanging together
Bride’s hair and makeup being done (either by the professionals or stage a bridesmaid doing touch ups for the picture)
Bridesmaids’ hair and makeup being done
Bride re-reading vows to herself
Bridesmaid pouring champagne
Bride and bridesmaids toasting
Bride with bridesmaids after hair and makeup is done but before formal attire is put on (in robes or other getting ready attire)
Wedding invitation with bride’s jewelry and bouquet
Mom helping bride with a final detail, (either putting on the veil, zipping up the dress, or putting on a necklace)
Full-length photo of the bride in her dress looking in a mirror
Dress detail shot (i.e. lace, embellishments, buttons, etc.)
Picture(s) of shoes, rings, garter, jewelry, or other small pieces
Emotional moment of bride with significant family members (i.e. siblings, parents, grandparents, step-parents, etc.)
Bride with all the women present for getting ready
Groom getting ready with groomsmen and/or family
Dad or Best Man tying the groom’s tie
Emotional moment of groom with significant family members (i.e. siblings, parents, grandparents, step-parents, etc.)
Groom with all the groomsmen
Groom’s mom putting his boutonniere on
Groomsmen putting on boutonnieres, ties, and jackets
First look or touch picture with bride and groom
Bride with the flower girl
Groom with the ring bearer
The Ceremony
The ceremony space before anyone enters
Guests arriving and finding their seats
The altar before anyone is standing there
Groom waiting to walk down the aisle
Close-up of groom waiting for bride at the altar
Processional pictures of the bridal party, family members, and kiddos walking down the aisle
Wedding party waiting at the altar
Bride and escort before walking down the aisle
Bride and escort walking down the aisle
Groom’s face as he sees the bride at the end of the aisle
Bride and groom at the altar
Altar from the back during ceremony
Wide shot of audience during ceremony, from bride and groom's point of view
Close-ups of the bride and groom while exchanging vows
Close-ups of bride's and groom's hands when they exchange rings
The kiss (Pro-tip: make sure your officiant knows to move to the side so they aren’t in this shot!)
Bride and groom recessing up the aisle, guests' smiling in the background
Group shot with all guests still in seats once bride and groom get to the end of the aisle
Bride and groom outside ceremony site
Celebration shots: the bride and groom hugging, laughing, and crying with good friends and family immediately following the ceremony
Bride, groom, officiant, and witnesses signing the marriage license
Cocktail hour (OR before the ceremony if you are doing a first look and have extra time)
Bride and groom together (Pro-tip: don’t spend too much time at this point on just you two! Save some of these for sunset!)
Bride with her parents and/or stepparents
Bride & groom with the bride’s entire immediate family
Groom with his parents and/or stepparents
Bride and groom with the groom’s entire immediate family
Bride and groom with all parents
Bride and groom with immediate family members from both sides
Bride and groom with groomsmen (serious and playful pictures)
Bride and groom with bridesmaids (serious and playful pictures)
Bride and bridesmaids holding their bouquets together
Bride and groom with whole wedding party (serious and playful pictures)
Guests enjoying amenities at cocktail hour (i.e. appetizers, drinks, games, etc.)
Bride’s and groom’s rings together
The Reception
Shot from outside reception venue
Empty reception room once all details are finished before guests enter
Reception design details such as welcome sign, place cards, seating chart, guest book, centerpieces, sweetheart table, decorations, place settings, guests favors, champagne glasses, the bar, buffet being set up
Guests taking their seats
Bride and groom arriving at reception venue
Grand entrance
Bride and groom at the sweetheart table
Parents' table
Guests' tables
Sunset/golden hour pictures with bride and groom (typically start about 15 mins prior to true sunset and lasts 15 minutes after)
Close-up of friends and family making toasts
Bride and groom listening, laughing, and crying during toasts
Bride and groom visiting with the guests while everyone is seated for dinner (table pictures)
Bride and groom's first dance
Parents dancing
Bride and Dad dancing
Groom and Mom dancing
Wedding party dancing
Grandparents dancing
Kids playing and dancing
Vendors making everything perfect behind the scenes
Guests getting it on the dance floor
Cake and/or dessert table
Bride and groom cutting the cake
Bride and groom feeding each other cake
Bouquet toss
Retrieving, tossing, and catching of the garter
Picture with the bouquet and garter catchers
Bride and groom dancing with the guests
Grand exit
Wedding Planning Tips
Wedding planning has so many moving pieces. Feel confident and worry free by following this list of tips and tricks!
Wedding planning is an exciting and unique journey. There are so many ways to make the planning process smooth and stress-free. Below are 32 of our favorite ways to keep the planning process fun!
1. Budget is a great starting place
Whether you are working with a $3k budget or a $300k budget, knowing your maximum budget will help guide all other aspects of planning your wedding. Come up with an overall number that you and your fiance (or whoever is funding the wedding) are comfortable with, and then do a little research to feel out how this money should be divided up amongst the many wedding vendors. Click here for a guide to building your wedding budget breakdown!
2. Guest count matters
If money truly is not an object, then guest count should be the first step to planning. Knowing how many guests you need to comfortably accommodate will help you select a venue, caterer, food service style, bar, sound system, etc. Guest count will have a huge impact on the overall budget. As you create your budget breakdown, play around with the guest count to see how it will affect the way money is allocated.
3. Consider outside factors that may affect guest and vendor availability
There are often a lot of factors to consider when thinking of a wedding date. It is fairly common for couples to go into wedding planning with a date already in mind. Before becoming too attached to any particular date, consider what other events are happening around this time that might affect guests ability to make it and overall vendor availability.
For example, if your town is hosting a wine festival on July 25, many local vendors might be booked to participate in this event. An event like this might draw a lot of visitors from out of town, making finding a hotel room or even reasonably priced flights harder to come by for guests. Not to mention, even your in town guests might already have pre-planned to attend the alternative event!
4. Check the weather!
Weather has the ability to drastically alter how your day will go and add a lot of unplanned expenses. A particularly windy day at an outdoor venue can cause a lot of problems! If the weather is too hot or too cold, guests might not be inclined until the end of the event. While it is always good to continue to check the weather and make reasonable climate control attempts (i.e. umbrellas, tents, heaters, etc.) picking a date that is generally at a time when the weather is temperate will save you a lot of stress throughout the planning process!
Pro-tip #1: You can Google any date and find the weather trends on that exact date for the last few hundred years. Of course, this can’t guarantee the exact weather on your wedding day, but it can at least give you a little insight into what the weather will likely be.
5. The sunset waits for no one
The sunset will happen when it happens. You can’t control it, so plan for it! In order to get those amazing golden hour shots, shape the rest of your event around this opportune time! Sunset is important for more than just aesthetics, though! When the sun goes down, the overall climate will change, and accommodations may be needed to keep guests comfortable for the duration for the celebration!
Pro-tip #2: Google what time the sunset will be when planning your timeline! Google knows all, so even 18 months away from your wedding date you can look up exactly what time the sun will be setting on your wedding day. Having this time in mind will make it easier to map out when certain events should occur.
6. Consolidate spending and rack up credit card points!!
Opening a specific credit card for wedding related expenses is great for several reasons. First, if all the expenses are made in one place it will be way simpler to track spending. It will also be easier to communicate these expenses to other people who might be financially invested in your wedding. This is also a great opportunity to rack up some points! Weddings are a huge expense, so you might as well get something in return! If you rack up enough points you may just be able to pay for your honeymoon!
7. Take vendor recommendations
There is no need to reinvent the wheel! Wedding professionals spend every weekend meeting and making connections with other amazing vendors. Vendors are highly likely to suggest vendors they only truly feel confident in, as they are putting their own reputation on the line by offering these referrals.
8. Guests = Money
If you find yourself looking to cut costs, cut the guest list. Each guest costs money to host, so if you find yourself in a financially tough situation, take another look at the guest list! This is just another great reason why starting with the budget is ideal. By taking a careful look at how much money you can spend on the wedding you will have a clear understanding of how many guests and at what cost per person will work for you!
Pro-tip #3: Make sure that you have a very clear handle on the budget before sending out invitations. This way if you need to cut the guest list you don’t have to officially uninvite anyone!
9. Advocate early for yourself
Prior to booking, vendors will be more likely to make modifications to their packages and overall price to earn your business. Once the contract is signed and the deposit has been paid they are typically less likely to throw in freebies, because that isn’t what was in the initial agreement. A lot of vendors are firm on their prices, but many are happy to make custom packages to ensure you are satisfied with what you are signing up for!
Pro-tip #4: When asking for free upgrades or a discount, remember you are asking a favor, so ask nicely! These vendors are professionals which means they rely on your business to provide for themselves and their families. While they may want to accommodate your budget, they may not be financially able to do so.
10. Stay organized throughout planning
Staying organized will help keep planning on track and fun. There are many approaches to wedding organization, but no matter what method works for you, stick to it! Update your information regularly, keep everything in one place, and check in on your to-do lists often! For a full list of tips and tricks on staying organized, click here!
11. Chunk out your planning
Remember in school when your teachers would write out the big goals of the day and the smaller tasks you’d do in order to achieve these goals? Well, they were really onto something! Break down your to-do list into sections to make planning more manageable, easier to track, and more rewarding! Click here, for some useful tips and an idea of how to build your own planning timeline.
12. Draft of your day-of timeline early on
Create a rough draft of your wedding day fairly early on in your wedding planning process. Map out how you would like the day to be paced and what time you’d like major events to happen. This may (and probably will) change quite a bit as your plans shift, but having a general outline will help you menally prepare and offer guidance as you book vendors. When it comes time to sign contracts with vendors they will want to know a start and finish time. Certain vendors (like your venue, bartenders, photographer, videographer, and DJ) will have packages that include a certain amount of hours. Having a rough draft of your timeline will give you a better idea of how many hours you need them onsite.
13. Stock your bar...
...with the appropriate amount of bartenders. Avoid long lines at the bar by hiring an appropriate amount of staff for your guest count. Typically for a simple bar (beer, wine, 1-2 pre batched cocktails), you need one bartender per 50 guests to keep the line down. If you are having a fully open bar where guests can order whatever drink they want you will need an extra bartender or two to make sure guests are taken care of in a timely manner.
Pro-tip #5: Take the bar size into consideration. If your venue has a smaller physical bar space, hire an amount of bartenders that make sense for the space. If you are having a large wedding with a small physical bar space, consider renting a second bar to keep the line under control! Small bar lines = full dance floor!
14. Plan for the un-plannable
When going through your budget, make sure to leave some “flex” money for miscellaneous items that may pop up over the course of planning. There are almost always unforeseen expenses that usually aren’t discovered until money has already been spent in other areas. Instead of feeling like you have to blow the budget on these items, anticipate them!
15. When in doubt, ask your professionals
Wedding professionals spend a lot of time at weddings and have gained a lot of valuable insight over their years of experience. Your wedding professionals are usually very well versed in what seemingly simple touches can make the day run smoother! Take their advice into consideration. If it works with your vision, great!
16. Postage points
After carefully researching and designing the perfect invitations, no one wants to stick an ugly stamp on the envelope. Instead of choosing from the limited options available at the post office, consider ordering your stamps online at USPS.com.
Pro-tip #6: Weigh your invitations before you send them out so you can be confident the postage attached is adequate to get your invitation to its destination. If you have an oddly shaped envelope, be sure to ask at the post office about the best method and postage amount to ensure delivery.
Pro-tip 7: Pre-stamp your return RSVP cards. Guests are more likely to quickly send their RSVP cards back if they are pre-stamped.
17. Not all the guests will be able to attend, and that is okay!
Things happen and not everyone will be able to attend your wedding. This is okay! On average about 15-20% of invitees won’t be able to attend. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you! Just remember, guests cost money, so even though you’d love for everyone to celebrate with you, saving money is a huge silver lining to the “No” RSVPs. Alternatively, this will open up a few spaces for the friends that you thought you might not be able to invite.
18. Be consistent with the kiddos
Adults only weddings are becoming more and more common, but there is still a lot of grey area on what that exactly means. A lot of “adults only” weddings will still have a few rugrats running around for any number of reasons. When you send out your invitations specify the kid restriction. You have four options: all kids are welcome, "adults only," immediate family kids only, or you can invite everyone to bring their children and provide childcare for the kids, either at the venue, in a hotel room, or in someone’s home. Consistency is key, though! If you allow some friends to bring children, it is best to allow everyone to bring their children. (Immediate family and kiddos in the bridal party are an exception!)
19. The A, B, C’s to your guest list
This is not a fun guideline to suggest, but it is a good one to follow. When preparing your guest list, separate the list into 3 sections: your “A listers” (the people that are invited no matter what); the “B listers” (the people who you hope to invite if there is enough room); and the “C listers” (the people you want to invite, but will only invite if people from one of the first two lists drop out). This will make cutting down your guest list a lot easier if it becomes necessary down the road. It will also help you prioritize your budget. If having everyone from all three lists is important, allocate money in such a way that this is possible!
20. Limit the plus ones
Considering you are mapping out an A, B, C guest list and trying to track a budget, you do not need to allow every guest a plus one!
A general rule of thumb, if a guest is married their significant other needs to be invited. Even if you don’t include a section for a plus one on their RSVP, their significant other’s invitation is implied. If, for whatever reason, a significant other is not invited that needs to be explicitly communicated to your guest.
Aside from married couples, it is nice to allow guests who may not know a lot of other attendees a plus one. If someone is requesting a plus one and you simply can’t accommodate the other person, just let your guest know that you’ve already had to make difficult decisions about your guest list and you don’t have the room (or budget!)
For everyone else, they should not expect to be allowed a plus one unless specified on the invitation.
Pro-tip #8: Try to avoid mentioning budget as a restriction unless the situation specifically makes sense to bring this up. Guests will offer to pay for their plus one in lieu of not bringing one which doesn’t really solve your problem if your real issue is space or simply not wanting strangers around for an intimate celebration.
21. Guest transportation
Providing guest transportation to and from a hotel is always nice, but it isn’t expected nor is it necessary if your budget is starting to be stretched a little thin. If faced with a choice, it is best to either skip it completely or provide transportation for everyone. Having one or two shuttles to take a portion of guests (bridal party and immediate family not included), but not the rest of your guests can be confusing. Guests may see a shuttle leave and wait for another one, that isn’t coming.
Pro-tip #9: If you are tight on money, but want to offer some sort of transportation accommodation, sign up with a ride-share company and provide guests with a discount code. You can pre-set the discount amount and the maximum amount you are willing to cover.
22. Room blocks and your budget
If you have a lot of out of town guests it is nice to find a hotel in close proximity to your wedding venue for guests to stay during their visit. Setting aside a room block will often allow guests to book at a lower rate than finding a place on their own.
That being said, a lot of the hotels that offer room blocks will hold you financially accountable for the unbooked rooms in your block. If possible, avoid this kind of arrangement! If this is your only option, only set aside enough rooms for your immediate family that you know will be booking or skip the block completely! You can typically add rooms later on if necessary, though they may be at a different rate than the initial block.
Pro-tip #10: If there is a large event taking place nearby on the weekend of your wedding, a room block is crucial to guarantee guests can find accommodations!
Pro-tip #11: Avoid being held financially accountable for unbooked rooms in your blocks by not making a block, but instead suggest a few nearby hotels for guests to choose from. This takes the guesswork out of the hotel search for guests, but will potentially save you a massive added expense.
23. Document everything in writing
Chances are, leading up to the wedding day you will have a lot of discussions with your vendors about small details that aren’t included in your contracts. In order to track the information being shared, and ensure that all of the details are covered, make sure everything is in writing.
There are often several people working with each company you have booked for your wedding. Having everything in writing will keep information consistent between individuals within the company.
Even if you have discussed something several times over the phone, send a follow up email outlining the details you need your vendor to take care of on the day of. After sharing the same details with so many people involved with the wedding, it can be challenging to remember exactly who was told what, but having everything in writing is a great way to keep track of this.
24. Think through the day-of set up logistics
Talk to your venue about what time you and your vendors will have access to the space for set-up. Carefully consider how much time and helping hands your decor will take to set up. Remember that if you aren’t hiring outside help, you will need to make sure you have enough vehicles to transport decor, hands to delegate the set up between, and ample time to have everything done and done well! If you are hiring outside help, it is still important that transporting everything to and from the venue has been thoroughly planned and enough hands have been hired to properly set up in the time allotted! Click here for a thorough day of checklist to make sure you have accounted for all of the details!
25. Make it official with your marriage license
Do a little research into the process for applying for a marriage license prior to showing up at your courthouse. Make sure that you know the timeframe before your wedding that you can apply for your marriage license.
On the day-of designate someone to be responsible for storing your marriage license in a safe pre-determined space so that you can send it in and legally be married!
Pro-tip #12: In the state of California, technically, it is the officiant’s responsibility (and legal obligation) to return your marriage license within 10 days of the ceremony. However, if, for whatever reason, the marriage license isn’t returned you are still married. (source)
26. Become well versed in your venue’s policies and protocols
If you are holding your wedding ceremony at a place of religious worship, discuss what expectations the venue has of you and your guests. For example, do they have a specific time that all guests need to be off the property?; how strict are they on ceremony start time?; do your guests need to dress a certain way?; are you allowed to place any decor?; is flash photography allowed?; etc.?
Reception venues (or combined ceremony and reception venues) often have their own policies and protocols that they expect you and your vendors to adhere to. Most venues will provide a list of these rules, but if you are not provided any, ask for a specific breakdown of their policies. This will help you prepare appropriately and protect/mentally prepare you if something goes wrong that would result in the venue charging additional fees.
Pro-tip #13: Venues will often ask for signed copies of their rules from your vendors. If they don’t require this, it is still a good idea to share the house rules with your vendors so they have an opportunity to understand what the venue restricts and requires of them.
27. Discuss your values, and allocate money accordingly
When you begin to breakdown your budget into an outline (see item #1 on this list), typically you will want to start by writing out the full list of vendors that you will need. From there, discuss with your fiance what matters the most to you both and allocate money accordingly. You may LOVE flowers and want to designate a higher percentage of your overall budget towards this! By doing this in the beginning of planning you will help guide your vendor selection and stay within budget.
28. Keep guests engaged by putting yourself in their shoes
The guests are there to celebrate YOU, so make sure they are well taken care of! Prepare an adequate sound system so that they can see and hear throughout your ceremony and reception. Keep them comfortable by providing climate control and offering amenities such as blankets, flat shoes for dancing, and plenty of access to food, water, and shade. Schedule the day so that activities aren’t during high distraction times or too spaced out allowing guests to get antsy. Click here for timeline building help! Think through the day from the guests perspective to ensure everything is engaging, comfortable, and fun throughout the event.
29. Keep contact information handy!
Keep all of your vendor contact information organized and easily accessible on your wedding day. Things happen, and you don’t want to waste too much time tracking down a vendor’s phone number if you need to contact them.
Pro-tip #14: Designate someone as a point of contact for vendors on your wedding day. If you have a coordinator or planner they will be the go-to person for the other vendors. If you don’t have a professional, designate a family member or bridesmaid to be the point of contact so you don’t have 20 vendors calling you with set-up questions on the wedding day. Even if you have a planner or coordinator, it is still a good idea to designate a bridesmaid as a contact for that person!
30. Gals gas gals up; dress shop with your friends
Dress shopping is best when done with a small group. This can be an emotionally taxing process for so many reasons and its best to have a solid support system there to keep you grounded. Make sure to bring honest friends so they can tell you what is flattering, keep your energy up if you start to feel discouraged, and help you stay firm on your budget.
Pro-tip #15: Support is so much more than telling you are gorgeous in everything (we already know that you are!). True support is helping you make a realistic choice based on your budget, vision, and body type. Make sure that the people you bring along are ready to keep your spirits high, but your expectations realistic.
Pro-tip #16: Don’t bring too many people while you are trying on dresses. Ideally, you will have 1-3 people tagging along to your dress appointments. Two main reasons for this: (1) too many people can be distracting. Having voices for guidance is important, but too many opinions will quickly become overwhelming. (2) Most bridal shops have small showrooms so there isn’t a ton of room for a whole gathering. If you do show up with more people than they are comfortable with, the stylist may feel the need to rush you along to clear the space.
Pro-tip #16.5: Call ahead to the bridal shop to see how many people they can comfortably accommodate.
31. Manage your to-do list
Staying on top of your to-do list throughout planning will help you accomplish every nitty-gritty task you have planned. However, when you get down to the wire, don’t push yourself to the point of wedding burn out! In that final month, the smallest little details that somehow managed to slip through the cracks are finally coming to light. Skip the things you don’t truly need, delegate the things you can, and tackle what you really need to do head on! In that final month stretch, you want to be getting excited for the wedding, not pushing yourself to the point where you’re excited for it to be over.
32. Don’t sweat the small stuff
This is the best and most consistent wedding advice you will probably receive. Things may not go as planned. Some things may not go as planned to the point that you will need to address them after the fact. On your wedding day, the most important thing is getting married! Everything else is extra. No matter what happens, as long as you are with the person you love, your wedding day is already perfect! Stay focused on the positives and live in the moment! Chances are, if you are able to focus on all of the best parts, you won’t even notice the little hiccups that may occur!
Pro-tip #17: Hiring a day-of coordinator will offer peace of mind so that you don’t feel the need to look for the small hiccups. You can live in the moment and feel confident that someone else is handling the behind the scenes aspects for you! A great coordinator will take care of everything before you even notice something wasn’t quite as planned!
Bridal Shower Planning Guide
A bridal shower is a great milestone in the wedding preparation journey for the bride to enjoy the company of friends and family before the wedding! The bridal shower is different from the bachelorette party in that it is typically shorter and a more “tame” gathering. Follow the guide below, or share it with the event host, for a smooth bridal shower planning experience!
A bridal shower is a great milestone in the wedding preparation journey for the bride to enjoy the company of friends and family before the wedding! The bridal shower is different from the bachelorette party in that it is typically shorter and a more “tame” gathering. Follow the guide below, or share it with the event host, for a smooth bridal shower planning experience!
Why have a bridal shower-
A bridal shower is a party where friends and family gather to shower the bride with gifts! Much like a baby shower functions as a chance to prepare an expecting mother for a life transition, the bridal shower is meant to provide the bride with gifts that will help prepare her for the upcoming life changes that marriage will bring. While the primary function of this event is to dote upon the bride, it is also a fun opportunity to play games, introduce friends from different walks of life, and build memories!
When should the bridal shower be?
Bridal showers typically occur in the final few months, or even weeks, before the wedding. It is best to schedule this just before the final stages of planning take up all of the bride’s free time! Scheduling this party 30-45 days prior to the wedding is ideal!
The bridal shower will typically occur during daylight hours as opposed to being a nighttime event.
Example bridal shower planning timeline-
3 months prior to wedding-
Set a budget for the bridal shower
Create a guest list for the bridal shower
Gather addresses or email addresses of the guests
Decide on the general “feel” for the bridal shower (formal, casual, something in between?)
Find a venue to host the shower
2 months prior to wedding-
Plan the food and drink menus
Send out invitations to bridal shower
Find decor for bridal shower
Select attire for bridal shower
Book any necessary vendors
Plan activities for the bridal shower
1 month prior to wedding-
Purchase bar and food materials
Purchase flowers & decor
Host bridal shower
Who hosts the bridal shower?
More often than not the bridesmaids, bride or groom’s mother, or another close friend or family member will host the bridal shower. It is uncommon for the bride to host this event for herself since the primary function is to shower the bride with gifts.
How should I invite people?
As always, there are no set rules. Sending formal invitations by mail is great if you have the time and budget, but not necessary by any means! For bridal showers, it is a more recent trend to create a cute virtual invite that is distributed via email. This bridges the gap between official invitations and something that requires less effort. This also provides the opportunity to link a registry directly on the invitation so guests can conveniently click the link and purchase a gift!
Who should be invited?
The etiquette guru, Miss Manners, says you can only invite people who are invited to the wedding and I have to agree with her on this one. Unlike the engagement or bachelorette party, the bridal shower’s main purpose is for people to bring you gifts. Inviting someone to give the bride a gift, but not the wedding is a bit rude.
Traditionally this is a women only event, but this is changing more and more everyday. The invites can be extended to all the womyn invited to the wedding who are particularly close friends with the bride. The best rule of thumb is to limit the guest list to only the bride’s closest family and friends. Remember, the bride’s family is growing with the wedding! It is completely normal and acceptable to invite people from the groom’s side of the family if the relationship allows!
Here is a general outline of who is typically invited:
The bridesmaids
The womyn the bride is close with in her immediate families
The womyn the bride is close with in her extended families
Close friends in the area who are also invited to the wedding. This isn’t an event that people would typically travel for, so if you have close friends in the area add them to the list!
Pro-tip #1: If you invite some immediate or extended family, you DO NOT have to invite them all. Invite whoever makes sense in the bride’s unique situation.
Pro-tip #2: The groom doesn’t usually attend the bridal shower. He often will make an appearance at some point, but typically doesn’t stay for the duration of the party.
What information should the invitations include?
As always, names, date, location, and time will need to be included on the invitation. The host should also specify what kind of refreshments can be expected (appetizers only, full dinner, hosted bar, BYOB, no alcohol, etc.). Depending on what kind of theme you are going with, the headline on the invitation can communicate this information. For example, “Brunch and Bubbly Bridal Shower” or “I Do BBQ.”
Guests are expected to bring gifts, so be sure to include the bride’s wedding registry on the invitation.
Who should pay for the bridal shower?
The cost of the bridal shower typically will fall on the hostess(es). This can vary on a case by case basis depending on financial situations. The bride is never expected to pay for any portion of the bridal shower, though, on very rare occasions may be asked to contribute on certain items. For example, if the person hosting the event does not personally drink alcohol and doesn’t feel comfortable paying for it for guests, the bride may be asked to provide the alcohol. Typically the host would ask someone else close to the bride before coming to the bride with this request, though. Much like the actual wedding, budget isn’t what defines the day. The most important aspect is celebrating your love while surrounded by the people who mean the most to you! (See the end of blog for full example budget breakdowns.)
Where should the bridal shower be hosted?
The bridal shower can be hosted in any venue, it will just depend on the size of the guest list and access to space. While the event can be as formal or informal as the hostess(es) would like, the shower is often thrown in the maid of honor or a family member’s home or backyard. If the hostess(es) does not have space, or just isn’t into the idea of having this kind of gathering in their personal space, a restaurant or smaller venue is always an option! Since this event doesn’t typically include a full meal, choosing to host at a venue might add unnecessary cost.
The bridal shower is usually thrown in the city that the hostess(es) is local to. This may not be the city the bride lives in, so she will need to travel to party. This isn’t typically an event people besides the bride would travel for, so potential guests living outside of the hostess(es) city may not make sense to invite. That is okay! Communicate with those friends and family so they understand why they aren’t receiving an invitation!
What should we do at the bridal shower?
Opening the presents is the primary activity of a bridal shower. Typically around ⅔ of the way through the party everyone will gather around the bride as she opens gifts. Since dinner isn’t usually provided, a few other activities will take place to keep guests entertained and engaged. Since the guests are generously offering gifts to the bride, the groom will often make a quick appearance to say hello and thank everyone. During his appearance, there are several games to play that will include him! Some ideas include the shoe game, a Q & A with the bride(s) and groom(s), or a date night guessing game! For a full list of ideas, click here to visit our Pinterest page! No matter what kind of activities are planned, it is always nice if the guest of honor can make a quick thank you speech. The bridesmaids and/or the bride’s family have typically offered a lot of support leading up to this point aside from hosting the shower and it is always nice for the bride to show her appreciation!
Example bridal shower timeline
1pm- Guests arrive. Everyone mingles, make appetizer plates, grabs their drinks, and makes anonymous date night suggestion.
1:30pm- Game 1: “Guess the Dress” game
1:45pm- Host reminds everyone to enter ideas into the anonymous date night suggestions
1:45pm- Toasts from mother of the groom, mother of the bride, grandma, and bridesmaid who won’t give a toast at the wedding
2pm- Slide show of friends/family pictures viewing
2:15pm- Game 2: Bride reads anonymous date night suggestions aloud and guesses who made each suggestion
2:45pm- Groom arrives, says hello
3pm- Game 3: Shoe game with Groom
3:15pm- Groom leaves
3:15pm- Bride opens presents (maid of honor tracks gifts for thank you notes)
3:45pm- Group picture
4pm- Bridal shower concludes
Is a full dinner expected at the bridal shower?
Everyone appreciates a nice full meal, but it isn’t expected nor is it the norm at bridal showers. Just be sure the hostess(es) specifies either way on the invitation so guests can plan accordingly!
Typically light refreshments are offered. Some ideas include a cheese board, fruit/veggie platters, chips and dips, cupcakes, cookies, or anything else that is easy to grab and snack on. If you want something cost effective, but a little more filling consider thinly sliced pizzas, pasta salads, hamburger sliders, or even mini tacos! For beverages, a few common trends are mimosa bars, pre-batched cocktails or mocktails, wine and/or wine spritzers, or build your own Bloody Mary bars. For a list of food and beverage ideas and display inspiration click here!
What should be included in the budget?
This completely depends on what the hostess(es) chooses to include! Below are some typical things to consider budgeting for:
Catering/food
Tables, chairs, plates, cups, flatware, napkins, etc.
Bar/drinks
Cake/dessert
Invitations
Decor
Miscellaneous
Of course there are endless approaches to maximize any budget! Below are 3 example budgets for Bridal showers.
Example 1 (the “bells and whistles” example)- overall budget $9k
40 guests, 3 hour party
Party Planner- $850
Venue (mother of the bride’s backyard)- FREE
Caterer (Cheese/fruit grazing board)- $2k
Bar (mimosa & bloody mary bar w/ bartender)- @ $15/person = $600
Cake from speciality bakery (2 tier 6” base, 4” top tier)- $450
Cupcake and macaroon display- $200
Ice cream caddy & attendant- $200
Photographer- $500
Music/entertainment (Live guitarist & singer)- $625
Rentals- $500
4 large floor tables (low the the ground)- $120
Festive carpeting to go below table- $150
Cushions for everyone to sit on- $120
1 large wicker peacock chair- $50
Delivery- $60
Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$2/household = $70
Decor- $1,650
2 large balloon displays @$200/arrangement = $400
2 small balloon arrangements to accent bar and dessert table = $200
Florist (4 centerpieces & 4 small accent arrangements for signs & special tables)- $800
Signage (custom neon welcome sign, bar sign, cards and gifts sign etc.)- $250
Miscellaneous- $1,150
Photo booth (2 hrs)- $250
Party favors (ex. Spa goodie bags)- @$20/each = $800
Gift & activity table (sign, card box, etc.)- $100
TOTAL: $8,795
Example 2 (the “mid range backyard” example)- overall budget $1.2k
40 guests, 3 hour party
Venue (MOH backyard/patio/living room)- FREE
Veggie/fruit/easy apps- $200
Bar (DIY mimosa bar & pre batched cocktails)- $350
1 pre batched cocktail (ex. Vodka/Grapefruit)
2 handles of mid-range vodka @$40/handle = $80
Grapefruit juice $30
1 case mid-range champagne @ $15/btl $180
Orange juice/guava/other juice $40
Ice for cocktails = $20
Cake (single tier cake from local grocer)- $35
Cupcake display (homemade)- $15
Rentals (tables, chairs)- $300
4 tables & table cloths @$30/table = $120
40 chairs @ $3/chair = $120
Delivery- $60
Music/entertainment (make your own playlist and play through your own speaker)- FREE
Invitations (Send out email with curated digital invite)- FREE
Decor- $50
DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 5 bushels @ $5/bushel = $25
Dollar store vases 1 per table @$1/each = $4
Candles & dollar tree candle votives (2 per table)- $2/each = $8
Miscellaneous- $250
Party favors (ex. Goodie bag)- @$5/each = $200
Gift table (sign, card box, etc.)- $50
TOTAL: $1,200
Example 3 (the “ballin’ on a budget” example)- overall budget $300
40 guests, 3 hour party
Venue (MOH backyard/patio/living room)- FREE
Veggie/fruit/pretzels/hummus/chips/dip- $50
Bar (DIY mimosa bar & pre batched cocktails)- $170
1 pre batched cocktail (ex. Vodka/Grapefruit)
2 handles of inexpensive vodka @$20/handle = $40
Grapefruit juice $30
1 case inexpensive champagne @ $5/btl $60
Orange juice $20
Ice for cocktails $20
Tables/chairs (use MOH existing furniture) FREE
Disposable plates & napkins- $5
Cupcake & cookie display (homemade)- $25
Music/entertainment (make your own playlist and play through your own speaker)- FREE
Invitations (Send out email with curated digital invite)- FREE
Decor- $50
DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 3 bushels @ $5/bushel = $15
Amazon decor purchases $20
Print signs from computer FREE
TOTAL: $300
As you can see, the cost of the third example can easily decrease by skipping the alcohol, only offering BYOB, cutting out all decor, and/or skipping dessert. Basically this is all to say, no budget is too small!
Note: These numbers may seem intimidating. Usually, all of your bridesmaids will split the cost of these items. If you have 6 bridesmaids, the price per person is much more manageable. Also keep in mind, 40 guests for a bridal shower is on the larger side of average. Invite less people to get the cost down!
32 Questions to Ask A wedding Coordinator & Everything Else to Know Before Booking
When selecting a wedding coordinator is it important to find a professional who is willing to take the time to fully understand your vision in order to perfectly execute your plan! If you can find someone who is up for the task, you will walk into your wedding venue and see the beautiful plans you made in your head laid out perfectly before you!
In order to gauge if a professional has the ability to accomplish this, there are several questions that can be asked prior to booking to effectively vet the professional you are interested in.
Planning a wedding takes time, vision, and a lot of determination. When the day comes, all of the effort is worth it when you finally see everything you have worked and dreamed so hard for, come together. On the wedding day there are so many moving pieces that need to be managed, but you will be busy getting married and having fun! A wedding coordinator will take care of all the behind the scenes details to make sure everything is going according to plan.
When selecting a wedding coordinator it is important to find a professional who is willing to take the time to fully understand your vision in order to perfectly execute your plan! If you can find someone who is up for the task, you will walk into your wedding venue and see all of those pieces have fallen into place.
In order to gauge if a professional has the ability to accomplish this, there are several questions that can be asked prior to booking to effectively vet the professional you are interested in. Please note- a lot of these questions may be answered on the professional’s website. Asking too many questions may land you with an overwhelming amount of information! Be sure to ask the necessary questions so you are able to gather important information that will help guide your decision!
*Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no cost to you.*
What’s the difference between a wedding coordinator & a wedding planner?
A wedding planner lives up to their name! They plan your wedding, either for you or along side you depending on the professional and the level of support you require/prefer. They are there for everything: design, budgeting, pacing planning, vendor research & selection, and, of course, they’re there to ensure your wedding reflects YOU! Wedding planners are typically booked early on in the wedding planning process OR if a couple has begun planning but find they need support to complete the wedding plan.
A wedding coordinator is present on your wedding day to ensure all of the wedding plans come together. A wedding coordinator is perfect for couples who have found their venue & all of their vendors, thought through the logistics and simply need someone to step in on the actual wedding day to run the show so the couple and their loved ones can focus on celebrating and having fun instead of working. Their primary goal is to function as the point person to field all questions and oversee the execution of the day while acting as the liaison between the plan, the vendors, and you. Usually a day-of coordinator is booked anytime from 1-18 months prior to a wedding and begins working closely with a couple 1-4 weeks prior to their wedding to ensure the day runs smoothly and according to the couple’s vision.
Services included in a wedding coordination package-
Standard-
Timeline creation
A venue walkthrough prior to the wedding (especially if they are unfamiliar with the venue)
Collecting all vendor information from you
Distributing the timeline, floor plan, & other pertinent information to vendors 1-4 weeks prior to your wedding
Collecting copies of insurance (and other documents required by a venue) from vendors & passing this information along to the venue
Serving as the “team captain” of all the vendors on the day of the wedding to ensure everyone arrives on time, sets up where they are supposed to, follows any house rules provided by a wedding venue, and acting as the liaison between the couple and vendors to follow the timeline
Fielding any hiccups that may occur and making decisions to problem solve
Common, but not necessarily expected-
Floor plan creation (typically the venue or client is responsible for this with a day-of coordination package)
Providing an emergency bridal kit with a variety of items that commonly prove to be necessary at weddings
Attending meetings with you and the vendors
Communicating with vendors on your behalf regarding specific details pertaining to your wedding
Provide a specialized timeline for the wedding party and family members
Ceremony rehearsal coordination
Providing decor items
Decor set-up & breakdown (minimal decor set-up is often included, though anything beyond very basic decor set-up crosses over into the territory of a wedding decorator’s services. Wedding coordinators and wedding decorators are not the same job!)
Not common, but definitely an asset if included-
Assessing & offering feedback on vendor contracts
Collecting information regarding your balances with vendors, payment date with vendors, preferred payment method of vendors, vendor meal requirements, etc. to pass along to you and/or the venue
Reviewing order lists with rental companies, florists, caterers, etc. to ensure everything your event requires is accounted for
Discussing details to ensure you’ve got everything for the day-of covered even outside of ceremony & reception prep, execution, & clean-up
Full decor set-up and break down (including items exceeding 50lbs in weight & items requiring a ladder to install)
Extensive & specific decor creation or inclusion (i.e. sign creation, menu & placard creation, large rentals including tables, chairs, etc., decor extending beyond table numbers & candle votives, etc.)
Questions to ask a wedding coordinator before booking-
The basics-
Are you available on my date?
How much do your services cost?
What services do you offer, what are the differences between your packages, and what package will be the best fit for my needs?
Are there any additional fees?
Experience & expectations-
How long have you been a wedding coordinator?
How long have you been a wedding coordinator in my area?
How many weddings do you take on in a single weekend?
Will you personally be at my event?
What would you say your wedding coordinating “style” is?
Can you tell me about a wedding that you coordinated that you are particularly proud of?
What is your experience with problem solving?
Can you give me an example of something that went wrong at a wedding and how you handled it?
If we run into any issues throughout the planning process, what level of advocacy can we expect from since we are booking a day of coordination package?
How much access will I have to you throughout the planning period?
After I book, what are the next steps to working together?
When will we begin working together regularly?
Package questions-
With the day of coordination package, do you offer any support prior to the wedding day?
Will you collect, organize, and distribute important information such as vendor insurance info, vendor balances & due dates, vendor meal requirements, etc?
Will you attend venue walk throughs, vendor meetings, etc. throughout the wedding planning?
Will you create a day of timeline?
Will you provide the other vendors with this timeline? If so, when will this timeline be created and sent to the other vendors?
Will you create a timeline to provide to the family and bridal party? If so, when will this be created and distributed?
How many assistants will be present on my wedding day?
Do you include decor set up and breakdown in your package? Are there any limitations to this?
Will you help manage vendors on the day-of including arrival, set-up, timeline management, and breakdown times?
How much communication do you typically have with the other vendors leading up to the wedding date?
Will you take care of payment for outstanding balances on the wedding day? How does this process typically look when working with you?
Do you provide an emergency bridal kit in case something unexpected arises?
What kind of items are in the emergency bridal kit?
Will the provide additional resources that may be beneficial to you throughout your planning process?
The logistics-
Do you have insurance to provide to a venue if necessary?
Do you require a vendor meal(s)?
If we have any issues with vendors following the wedding are you able to advocate for us as a day of coordinator?
Do you have any references?
Things to consider when looking for a wedding coordinator-
You more or less get what you pay for- If someone quotes you $500 for the same package that someone else is quoting at $2k, there is likely a large difference in experience. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the quality of work will be significantly different, but it is a very strong possibility.
Day-of coordination should really include month-of coordination- Your day of coordinator will need to begin working with you closely in the weeks immediately preceding your wedding to properly coordinate with vendors and manage the day successfully. They will need to create your timeline (or at least have the opportunity to review it), connect with vendors about arrival times and accurate contact information, discuss design detail with you, review order lists from other vendors, etc. There are a lot of small moving pieces, even with the simplest of weddings! Make sure that the coordinator you are looking into is willing to do the appropriate amount of leg work leading up to your wedding to do the best job possible!
Some day-of coordinators are strictly day-of only- It can be challenging to jump in essentially blind on the wedding day with nothing but a timeline and vendor contact list provided by the client, however a very small number of coordinators do this. They are typically a lower cost and don’t provide the same level of execution that someone who spends time getting acquainted with the plan prior to the wedding. These coordinators are hard to find, because it truly is not a method that will consistently set the professional up for success. The professionals who offer this kind of service are typically either inexperienced and/or offer a very “bare-bones” approach to their day of coordination packages. If you feel that your wedding is extremely straightforward and are looking for a day-of service only, be very careful selecting a coordinator who says they will take this approach! Even if you feel this is what you need, there is a reason it is a rare form of service to find!
Not every package will include the same amount of support- As extension to the last point, coordinators have a very wide range of what will be included in their packages. Some wedding coordinators will do all of your decor set up and break down. Some will only communicate and coordinate with vendors and nothing more. A lot of wedding coordinators will do something in between. Make sure that you are realistically considering what kind of service you will need before booking!
Things to do after booking your wedding coordinator-
Discuss what information they will require and when they need to receive this information. Wedding coordinators will typically need all of your vendor contact information, vendor contracts, “house rules” or venue protocols, a floor plan (unless they include the creation of this in their package), order forms from rentals, florals, caterers, etc., a list of decor you are personally providing, the ceremony information (i.e. walking order for the processional, seating plan for immediate family/VIPs, etc.), and a timeline (unless they include creation of one in their package). Depending on the specific coordinator you have booked, they may require more information.
Discuss what kind of questions you can come to them with throughout your planning process. Typically day-of coordinators are only readily available for support about a month or so prior to your wedding. Certain coordinators (myself included) make themselves available to answer questions regarding general vendor recommendations, reviewing vendor contracts, and discussing any variety of factors that may alter or shift your timeline.
Ask how often you can expect them to touch base. Day-of coordinators typically will reach out roughly a month prior to your wedding, but depending on the specific coordinator and how far in advance you’ve booked they may reach out intermittently to check in.
Move forward accordingly! Be mindful of the services included in your coordinator’s package and respectful of your coordinator’s time. Most coordinators offer full wedding planning or partial wedding planning packages. This makes them a great resource and a wealth of information, but also can present the opportunity for clients to surpass “coordination” questions and begin dabbling in “planning” questions/requests. If the coordinator has made themselves available to answer questions or offer support, then fabulous! Ask away! Keep in mind, they are going above and beyond the official role of coordinator because they care about YOU and YOUR wedding! If the coordinator feels the questions and level of support being asked of them is beyond what is included in the package you have booked, they may require you to increase the package to partial or full planning package, or simply tell you they are unable to provide the level of support you are requesting given the package you have booked. This is not a bad thing! If you require more support, ask to increase your package with them so that you can feel supported throughout the wedding planning process and confident in the plans you are making.
Questions to Ask A Wedding Planner Prior to Booking
Weddings vary so much from event to event. A wedding should be a expression of each couples uniqueness. When selecting a wedding planner is it important to find a professional who can take your vision to heart and provide guidance that will ultimately result in a day that reflects your vision, love, and personality!
In order to accurately gauge if a professional has the ability to accomplish this, there are several questions that can be asked prior to booking to properly vet the professional you are interested in. Below is a list of quality questions to inquire about before signing a contract with your wedding planner.
Weddings vary so much from event to event. A wedding should be a expression of each couples uniqueness. When selecting a wedding planner is it important to find a professional who can take your vision to heart and provide guidance that will ultimately result in a day that reflects your vision, love, and personality!
In order to accurately gauge if a professional has the ability to accomplish this, there are several questions that can be asked prior to booking to properly vet the professional you are interested in. Below is a list of quality questions to inquire about before signing a contract with your wedding planner. Please note- a lot of these questions may be answered on the professional’s website. Asking too many questions may land you with an overwhelming amount of information! Be sure to ask the necessary questions so you are able to gather important information that will help guide your decision!
Questions to ask prior to booking a wedding planner-
The basics-
Are you available on my date?
I don’t have a date set, what if we ultimately pick a date that you are not available?
How much do your services cost?
What services do you offer, what are the differences between your packages, and what package will best fit my needs?
Are there any additional fees?
Experience & expectations-
How long have you been a wedding planner?
How long have you been a wedding planner in my area?
How many weddings do you take on in a single weekend?
Will you personally be at my event?
What would you say your wedding planning “style” is?
Can you tell me about a wedding that you planned that you are particularly proud of?
What is your experience with problem solving?
Can you give me an example of something that went wrong at a wedding and how you handled it?
If we run into any issues throughout the planning process, how will you advocate for us?
How much access will I have to you throughout the planning period?
After I book, what are the next steps to working together?
Package questions-
How much support do you offer with pre-wedding planning? Specifically-
During the vendor selection process, will you provide options?
How many options of each vendor will you provide?
Am I able to express my desires/interests for certain vendors?
Who will make the ultimate selection?
Will you offer guidance if I am unsure what elements I should be considering about certain vendors?
Will you review contracts provided by other vendors?
Will you track my budget and spend?
Will you provide design consultations?
How many meetings will we have before the wedding?
How often will we have meetings leading up to my wedding?
Will you solely be responsible for assisting with my wedding planning or do you have other staff that I will also be working with?
Will you create my invitations, send invitations, and track RSVPs?
Will you create any signage for the wedding?
Will you attend venue walk throughs, vendor meetings, etc. throughout the wedding planning?
Will you create a day of timeline?
Will you provide the other vendors with this timeline?
If so, when will this timeline be created and sent to the other vendors?
Will you create a timeline to provide to the family and bridal party?
If so, when will this be created and distributed?
Do you include day of coordination in your wedding planning package?
How many assistants will be present on my wedding day?
Do you include decor set up and breakdown in your package?
Will you help manage vendors on the day of?
How much communication do you typically have with the other vendors leading up to the wedding date?
Will you coordinate their arrival, set up, and breakdown times on the wedding day?
Will you take care of payment for outstanding balances on the wedding day?
Do you have any decor included in my package or available for rent?
The logistics-
Do you have insurance to provide to a venue if necessary?
Do you require a vendor meal(s)?
If we have any issues with vendors following the wedding will you still be present to help advocate for us?
Do you have any references?
Things to consider when looking for a wedding planner-
Involvement in wedding planning- How involved do you want to be in the wedding planning process? Some couples would like to be very hands on in all elements of the planning process, while others would prefer to be next to surprise on the wedding day! To find the right planner for you, you first need to decide the level of involvement you are comfortable with.
Alternatives to full wedding planning- If you are determined to do all of the wedding planning, but will still need someone to take care of the logistics and “behind the scenes” aspects of your wedding day, a Day of Coordinator may be a better fit for you. If you will need a little support on the planning but have it mostly covered, you may need a partial planning package! If the wedding professional you love doesn’t have a package that is quite perfect for what you need, ask if they can customize a package for you!
Payment schedules- Wedding planning takes a lot of hours and hours cost money! The planner will probably require payment on a schedule throughout the planning period to be compensated for the time they are spending. Be sure to talk through this payment schedule and discuss how it will fit into your overall budget.
Be upfront with budget- A professional wedding planner will completely understand if you are not able to work their packages into your budget. They may not be able to offer alternative pricing, but being honest about budget upfront will give them the opportunity to explain how they can or cannot fit into your overall budget.
If you haven’t selected a wedding date yet- Since most wedding planners will help with date and venue selection you likely will not have a date set at the time of booking. Discuss what will happen if you ultimately select a date that they are not personally available on.
You more or less get what you pay for- If someone quotes you $2k for the same package that someone else is quoting $10k, there is likely a large difference in experience. This doesn’t mean that the quality of work will necessarily be significantly different, but it is a very strong possibility.
Things to do after booking your wedding planner-
Get to planning! Ask your first steps after booking. This will likely be reviewing the budget, making a game plan for the planning process, and going over what you are looking for in a venue.
Engagement Party Planning Guide
Congratulations on your engagement! Who wants to wait all the way to the wedding to celebrate? Great news; you don’t have to! An engagement party is typically hosted shortly after you say “YES!” This blog is a full guide to planning an engagement party.
Congratulations on your engagement! Who wants to wait all the way to the wedding to celebrate? Great news; you don’t have to! An engagement party is typically hosted shortly after you say “YES!” Below is a guide to planning an engagement party. While this guide can help you map out your engagement party, remember these are only suggestions. There are no set rules and you can do literally whatever you want.
Why have an engagement party?
An engagement party serves a few purposes. First and foremost, it is a celebration of your engagement! This is a time for your friends and family to come together and congratulate you in person. Second, it offers the opportunity to begin introducing your family and friend groups. A wedding merges two families (both birth and chosen family count!) and it makes the actual wedding that much more fun if a lot of the guests have already had a chance to meet! Third, who doesn’t love an excuse to gather your favorite people altogether at once?!
Who hosts the engagement party?
The host of the engagement party is the person that will take on the bulk, if not all, of planning and costs. Traditionally the bride’s parents take on this task, but the host can be anyone, and completely depends on your situation. If the bride’s parents aren’t able to host- or if you have two grooms-, it can be the groom’s parents, other relatives, friends, coworkers, or even the engaged couple! The bridal party typically doesn’t take charge of this event, since they usually are in charge of the bachelor/bachelorette parties and bridal shower.
When should the engagement party be?
Engagement parties typically occur in the first few months after becoming engaged. This is an opportunity to celebrate the upcoming commitment, without throwing an entire wedding! Aiming at the 3-month-post-engagement mark is an ideal time to host this event, because there is still a “buzz” around your engagement, but you won’t be buried by planning yet.
How should the host pace the engagement party planning?
Below is a sample planning timeline. This will vary depending on the time frame and budget the host has allotted.
1 month after engagement-
Decide on a budget for the engagement party
Decide on the general “feel” for your engagement party (formal, casual, something in between?)
Create a guest list for the engagement party & gather contact info
Find & book a venue to host the party
Select vendors based on what budget allows and the venue includes
2 months after engagement-
Send out invitations to engagement party
Find decor for engagement party
Select attire for engagement party
Create a registry (this is something the couple will need to do!)
3 months after engagement-
Host engagement party
Who should be invited?
Miss Manners says you can only invite people who are invited to the wedding. This is generally the polite thing to do, but with the culture of weddings shifting away from tradition you don’t necessarily need to stick to this guideline. If you find yourself in this situation, make it very clear to those guests that they won’t be invited to the wedding. A nice way to word this is: “Our wedding venue limits the amount of people we can invite, so we had to make some difficult decisions about the guest list! We would still love to celebrate with you, so it would mean a lot to have you at the engagement party!” There are a lot of other cutesy wording options floating around on Pinterest if you wanted to have something written on the invitation about this.
Here is a general outline of who is typically invited:
Your bridal party (unless the event is being held in a city far from them)
Your immediate families (if your relationship with them allows for this)
Your extended families (if your relationship with them allows for this- NOTE: If you invite some immediate or extended family, you DO NOT have to invite them all. Invite whoever makes sense in your unique situation.)
Let the host invite some bonus people. The host may have close friends/coworkers/etc. that hear about you all the time! Those people might love to join in the fun! If you are worried about this getting out of hand, give a few parameters for the bonus invitations. Give the host a certain number of their own guests to invite that you are comfortable having around during the engagement party. If you are worried about a particular person or people being invited, make it clear that you aren’t comfortable with those people being invited!
Close friends in the area. This isn’t an event that people would typically travel for, so if you have close friends in the area add them to the list!
Pro-tip #1: If the host is attempting to plan a surprise engagement party or the couple wishes to not be involved in any element of planning, a member of the bridal party or other close friends can help form the guest list to include friends of the couple!
How should I invite people?
As always, there are no set rules. Sending formal invitations by mail is great if you have the time and wiggle room in the budget, but necessary by any means! Many other wedding blogs and older generations would disagree strongly with this, though, so be prepared for a host coming from an older generation to find formal invitations necessary. Since the guest list is typically a fraction of the full guest list, invitations can easily be sent via email, Facebook, or even a quick text if the event is intimate enough!
No matter how you choose to spread word about the party, the invitations do not need to be as formal as the wedding invitations. These invitations also do not need to be a reflection of your wedding design in any way. You, or the host, can pick whatever aesthetic makes you all happy!
Pro-tip #2: If you and your host disagree on how invitations should be sent, choosing to mail more casual invitations with bright colors and fun fonts can be a good compromise!
Pro-tip #3: Take this one with a grain of salt, but… pick and choose your battles. There will probably be plenty of opinions coming your way about the wedding that you will need to navigate. If the host of this event feels really strongly about the invitations, this may not be the hill to die on.
What information should the invitations include?
As always, names, date, location, time will need to be included on the invitation. The host should also specify what kind of refreshments can be expected (appetizers only, full dinner, hosted bar, BYOB, no alcohol, etc.) Guests often will bring gifts for the couple to an engagement party, so if possible, create your wedding registry beforehand! If you are planning on creating a wedding website and building your registry on that platform, you’ll need to create this beforehand.
The engagement party host may also want to include their name and that is totally fine! People will often word the invites “The parents/aunt/cousin/friend/etc of X invite you to celebrate the engagement of their daughter/son/other to [Fiance name here].”
If you are including guests to the list for the engagement party who are not invited to the wedding you can let them know with the invitation. Explain the reasoning behind the lack of wedding invite, but let them know they are an important part of your life and you’d love the opportunity to celebrate with them!
Pro-tip #4: Wedding website platforms like Zola or The Knot allow you to build your registry before building your website. This allows you the opportunity to provide guests with a list of items you like, without having to create your full website.
Pro-tip #5: Even if you tell people you don’t want gifts, some will bring them anyway. It is always better to receive something you’d actually like, so including a website or registry is a great way to communicate this information.
Who should pay for the engagement party?
Again, the cost of the engagement party typically will fall on the host. This can vary on a case by case basis depending on financial situations. Some hosts may ask you to pay for a portion of the engagement party. If you cannot afford to fund any portion of the party, suggest a more casual or smaller engagement party to accommodate their budget! Much like the actual wedding, budget isn’t what defines the day. The most important aspect is celebrating your love while surrounded by the people who mean the most to you and your fiance! (See the end of blog for full example budget breakdowns.)
Where should the engagement party be hosted?
The engagement party can be hosted in any venue, it will just depend on the size of the guest list and access to space. While the event can be as formal or informal as the host would like, the engagement party is often thrown in the host's home or backyard. If this is not an option or the host doesn’t prefer to host in their home, a restaurant or smaller venue is not out of the norm! Choosing a private room in a restaurant can often be less expensive since so much will be included (i.e. in house catering, tables, chairs, flatware, plates, napkins, drink ware, bar, centerpieces, etc.)
The engagement party is usually thrown in the city that the host is local to. This may not be the city you live in, so you will need to travel to them. If you find yourself in this situation, you may not be able to invite some of your friends or family that live in your area. That is okay! Communicate with those friends and family so they understand why they aren’t receiving an invitation!
What should we do at the engagement party?
Engagement party activities vary quite a bit from event to event. If you want guests to simply mingle freely throughout the party, go for it! There are a lot of great activities that can be prepared, as well. Lawn games can be set up for guests, a “how well do you know the couple?” quiz that can be played as a group, a guest book can be set out, or any other number of things can be prepared to entertain guests. If you are looking for ideas, be sure to check out our Pinterest board for inspiration!
The engagement party is also a great opportunity to allow guests to make toasts! Not everyone will get a chance to speak at the wedding, so having certain friends or family members make a toast at this smaller event is the perfect compromise!
Keep in mind, while guests often bring gifts to the engagement party, the party isn’t about the gifts. Gift opening at an engagement party isn’t typical and can prove to be a little awkward for the guests who chose not to bring a present.
Is a full dinner expected at the engagement party?
Nope! Everyone appreciates a nice full meal, but it isn’t expected. Just be sure the host specifies either way on the invitation so guests can plan accordingly!
If the host is providing dinner, it doesn’t need to be fancy! A backyard BBQ is completely acceptable! If they want to go all out and have a full 5 course sit down dinner, that is fine, too. As long as they are paying for it, and you are comfortable with it, there are no right or wrong answers to what should be served.
What should be included in the budget?
As always, this completely depends on what the host chooses to include! Below are some typical things to consider budgeting for:
Venue
Catering
Tables, chairs, plates, drink ware, flatware, napkins, etc.
Bar
Photographer
Music/entertainment
Cake/dessert
Invitations
Decor
Miscellaneous
Of course there are endless approaches to maximize any budget! Below are 3 example budgets for engagement parties.
Example Budget #1 (the “bells and whistles” example)-
Overall budget $10k
75 guests, 4 hour party
Party Planner- $850
Venue (includes tables, chairs, plates, flatware, drinkware, and food)- @ $30/person = $2,250
Bar (through venue- beer, wine, & liquor)- @ $25/person = $1,875
Photographer- $500
Music/entertainment (Live guitarist & singer)- $625
Cake from speciality bakery (2 tier 6” base, 4” top tier)- $450
Dessert display (cupcakes, macaroons, & donuts)- $500
Invitations (mailed designer invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$10/household = $250
Decor- $2,000
2 large balloon displays @$200/arrangement = $400
Florist (8 centerpieces & 4 accent arrangements for signs and special tables)- $1,500
Signage (welcome sign, seating chart)- $100
Miscellaneous- $900
Photo booth (4 hrs)- $500
Party favors (ex. Personalized koozie & bottle openers)- $250
Gift table (sign, card box, etc.)- $100
Guest book/activity table- $50
TOTAL: $9,975
Example Budget #2 (the “mid range backyard” example)-
overall budget $2k
75 guests, 4 hour party
Venue (backyard)- FREE
Caterer (tacos @$5/person- includes paper plates and plasticware. Provide your own apps i.e veggie tray, DIY cheese board, etc. for additional $25)- $400
Bar (DIY alcohol, hire bartender, & physical bar)- $415
1 signature cocktail (ex. Lemon drop)
2 handles of middle shelf vodka @$40/handle = $80
Mixers/ingredients- $20
1 case of Trader Joe’s Charles Shaw wine (6 red & 6 white) = $40
1/4 keg of light domestic beer = $80
Ice for cocktails & beer tub = $30
1 bartender @20/hr = $80
Folding table w/ table cloth for bar = $30
Rentals (tables, chairs)- $525
8 tables & table cloths @$30/table = $240
75 chairs @ $3/chair = $225
Delivery @$60
Music/entertainment (DJ)- $400
Cake (single tier cake from local grocer)- $35
Invitations (Send out email or create Facebook event)- FREE
Decor- $50
DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 5 bushels @ $5/bushel = $25
Dollar store vases 1 per table @$1/each = $8
Candles & dollar tree candle votives (2 per table)- $2/each = $16
Miscellaneous- $200
Guest party favors (personalized Koozies)- $100
Gift table (sign, card box, etc.)- $50
TOTAL: $2,025
Example Budget #3 (the “ballin’ on a budget” example)-
overall budget $500
75 guests, 4 hour party
Venue (backyard) - FREE
Catering (potluck; guests bring a dish! ex. the host can provide hotdogs/hamburgers)- $100
Tables & chairs (use friend’s folding tables & chairs, buy dollar tree table covers)- $10
Plates, plasticware, and drinkware (use disposable)- $50
Bar (1 full domestic keg & BYOB)- $250
Music (make playlist and set up your own speaker)- FREE
Cake/dessert (make your own!)- $25
Invitations (Send out email or create Facebook event)- FREE
Decor- $50
DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 5 bushels @ $5/bushel = $25
Dollar store vases 1 per table @$1/each = $8
Candles & dollar tree candle votives (2 per table)- $2/each = $16
TOTAL: $485
As you can see, the third example can easily decrease in price by only offering BYOB, delegating the disposable plates, plasticware, and drink ware as a potluck item, cutting out all decor, and/or skipping dessert. Basically this is all to say, no budget is too small!
Final thoughts on engagement parties-
There is no specific way to throw an engagement party! No matter how the event comes together, it will be a beautiful day celebrating this incredible milestone in your relationship!
If you have any additional questions please feel free to drop a comment or send an email!
All Things Bridal Party
Aren’t best friends great? They are there to offer love and support through all of life’s good, bad, and ugly moments. Having friends stand along side you on your wedding day is a beautiful symbol of this friendship. But there are often a lot of questions surrounding the bridal party. Here is some insight into all things bridal party.
This blog is divided into 7 sections:
Deciding what level of support you need from your bridal party
Asking your bridal party to be your bridal party
How to select bridal party wardrobe
Who should pay for what
What to delegate to the bridal party & managing your own expectations
Tips on keeping your bridal party happy
Bridal party gifts
Aren’t best friends great? They are there to offer love and support through all of life’s good, bad, and ugly moments. Having friends stand along side you on your wedding day is a beautiful symbol of this friendship. But there are often a lot of questions surrounding the bridal party. Here is some insight into all things bridal party.
This blog is divided into 7 sections:
Deciding what level of support you need from your bridal party
Asking your bridal party to be your bridal party
How to select bridal party wardrobe
Who should pay for what
What to delegate to the bridal party & managing your own expectations
Tips on keeping your bridal party happy
Bridal party gifts
Deciding what level of support you will need from your bridal party
Before asking your bridal party to be in your wedding, you will need to figure out what level of support you need from them. This is important for several reasons. First, you will need to let them know up front if you need a lot of support. Not everyone will have the time, money, or skills to offer that you may be in need of. Second, someone who has been in a wedding previously, may have their own preconceived notions about what being in a bridal party entails. This may be either more or less support than you are expecting, and you will want to be able to let them know right off the bat what being in your bridal party will be like.
If you are having a DIY wedding, having a lot of extra hands makes for less stress for you and often a lot of fun with the right bridal party. If you are planning to book an all inclusive venue, you won’t have as many projects and therefore won’t need as much support.
Typically the bridal party will plan your bachelor/bachelorette party and bridal shower. You should at least have a general idea of what you are wanting for these events. It is ideal to let your bridal party know upfront if you want to travel for your bachelor/bachelorette party so they can a) manage their own expectations b) plan accordingly and c) let you know upfront if they can afford the time and money this will require. While not being able to attend or financially contribute to this party shouldn’t count them out from your bridal party altogether, it will be easier on everyone involved if you know this upfront. The bridal shower, while typically a less expensive party, does still require some money from your bridal party and if you are wanting one, this is important to let them know upfront! Even if you don’t necessarily “require” one, they may still throw one for you, but the bridal party may feel less obligated to spend big on this party (that can either be a positive, negative, or neutral thing to you, depending on your expectation).
It is important to work through what you expect from your bridal party before asking them to be a part of your wedding so they can make an educated assessment of whether or not they would like to take on this role. Remember you are asking your friends to be in your wedding, not telling them. If someone says they can’t be a part of your wedding, don’t take it personally! This is easier said than done, but if someone can’t take on the expense and time, it will save you both heartache down the road if you give them to opportunity to make an informed decision from the get-go.
Did you know: According to a 2017 WeddingWire article the average cost of being a bridesmaid is $1,200. Keep this in mind when setting the expectation for your bridal party- and definitely keep this in mind if someone is hesitant to make the commitment to being in your bridal party!!
Asking your bridal party to be your bridal party
You can take many approaches to ask your bridal party to be in your wedding. It can be as simple as a phone call or as elaborate as you’d like! There is no shortage of ideas on Pinterest! If you like the idea of a gift, but aren’t up for creating something cutesy on your own, check out Etsy or Amazon! There are a lot of pre-made bridal party specific boxes, bags, etc. for both men and women that you can purchase to gift to your bridal party.
So when should you ask them? It is a good idea to give them as much notice as possible, for a few reasons. First, they want to be excited, too! Being a part of someone’s wedding is a huge honor and, frankly, a big validation of your level of friendship. Second, this will allow them time to financially prepare for the expense. Some people might need to save money for the events surrounding the wedding and their wedding attire. Enough notice will allow them ample time to prepare. Third, they have some planning of their own to do! As discussed later in this article, the bridal party plays a huge role in your bachelor/bachelorette party and bridal shower. The more time they have, the better they will be able to plan to the best of their ability.
How to select bridal party wardrobe
This can be a challenge for a lot of people, especially those with larger bridal parties. The more people you have in your wedding the more body types and financial situations you will need to take into account.
If you want all of your bridesmaids in the same dresses, take everyone’s body type into account. You want to pick a style and color that will be flattering on everyone. Besides the fact that these are your best friends and you want them to be comfortable and able to enjoy your wedding day, happy bridesmaids are smiling bridesmaids, and smiles look better in pictures.
There is a more recent trend of allowing your bridesmaids to pick their own dresses. Some people give no parameters and have the bridesmaids pick whatever they want. Some people give a color scheme and/or length requirements. Giving your bridal party some free reign will give everyone the opportunity to pick an outfit they feel confident wearing, in a price range that they feel comfortable with.
For shoes, keep in mind the type of venue you will be married at. If you are getting married in a chapel and having the reception at an indoor ballroom, no problem. Have the bridal party wear something they will be comfortable and look great in. If you are getting married at an outdoor venue with a lot of grass, dirt, or mulch avoid stilettos or anything they would have trouble walking in.
For suits, again, take budget and body type into consideration. If you have a lot of larger men, skip the slim fit suits. If you have a lot of people with tighter budgets, skip the $300 rental and go for the $150 purchase options!
Who should pay for what
This can be a tricky situation, but again, setting the expectation from the get-go will help alleviate any confusion or awkwardness around money down the road.
Wardrobe- Typically the bridal party will pay for their own dresses and suits. Some couples have it in their budget to cover everyone’s wardrobe, so they take care of this. That is awesome if you can, but if you can’t don’t sweat it. It is best to keep everyone’s financial situations in mind when selecting outfits, though. If the majority of your bridal party is working with tighter budgets, picking a dress and/or suit that is $300 is a quick way to create some resentment from your bridal party, especially when there are some amazing companies that offer beautiful, high quality dresses in the $50-$150 range and high quality suits in the $150-$250 range.
Bachelor/bachelorette parties- Typically the bridal party will pay for this. Even if you insist on paying for your part, it is best to plan as if the bridal party will refuse your money. Take this into consideration when giving them ideas of what you would like to do. Maybe they will take the money, maybe they won’t, either way, plan as if they won’t to avoid financially burdening anyone.
Bridal shower- This is a party for you, not by you. Typically either family, the bridal party, or both will put together this party. A bridal shower is when all, most, or some the womyn invited to your wedding come together and shower you with gifts. This can be as big or small as you like or the host(s) can afford. Since you are not personally throwing this party, the host(s) typically pay for this event.
Hair and makeup- General rule of thumb: if you require bridesmaids to have professional hair and makeup, you should pay for it. If you give them the option for professional hair and makeup, they can pay for it. If you are giving them the option, keep cost in mind when selecting a hair and makeup team. A bridesmaid who doesn’t excel at hair and/or makeup may refuse the service because it is too expensive.
What to delegate to the bridal party & managing your own expectations
You can delegate as much or as little as you’d like to the bridal party, but again, set this expectation when you ask them to be a part of your wedding. If you tell them you won’t need any support when you ask and then suddenly need 10+ hours of their time every week there is a good chance you will inspire a little resentment.
Read the feedback you get from your bridal party. If you have some one who is constantly asking how they can help, give them tasks! If you have someone who acts like you are asking a little too much of them, give them less to do! Try not to be offended if someone who said they would love to help suddenly isn’t able to or simply isn’t interested anymore. It can hurt a little when this happens, but you will end up stressing yourself and taking the fun away if you lean into those feelings too much. This is, of course, way easier said than done, but you will thank yourself later if you can accomplish this!
Play up people’s strengths. If you have a crafty bridesmaid, ask them to help with crafty things. If you have a thorough researcher in the group, have them do some research into a particular vendor or two. (Pro-tip: very clearly explain your vision and budget for these vendors so they don’t spend a lot of time and energy compiling options that aren’t what you’re looking for! Remember, you aren’t paying this person you definitely don’t want them to waste their time!). Have your musically inclined friend create your playlists. Playing up people’s strengths will give you better results overall and they are more likely to enjoy helping out!
Remember these are your best friends and they should be treated as such! These people love you and are happy to support you on your big day, but they are not hired help!
Tips on keeping Your bridal party happy
A happy bridal party is a helpful bridal party, so keeping them happy is key. Do this by making helping fun! Here are some ideas on how to accomplish this:
Ask for help, don’t demand it. If they have the time and energy to help, great! If not, try not to be offended. Ask if a different project would be more up their alley, or if a different time would be better.
Talk about things other than your wedding. If your whole relationship becomes just the wedding, they are going to get burnt out on it.
Turn a craft or planning date into a wine or movie night!
Positive reinforcement is always nice. Compliment their work, show appreciation, buy them dinner while they are helping, etc. They are offering valuable time and energy, for free. Remember, the things they are supporting you with are services you could pay someone else to do.
Ask for their input, and take it to heart. You may not ultimately go with their ideas, but listening to their thoughts will show you value their opinion. Providing the opportunity to express ideas and opinions throughout the planning process makes everyone feel more involved and therefore care more!
Bridal party gifts
Show your gratitude, not just for their support with the wedding, but for their continued love and support throughout your life! If you don’t have a ton of money to spend, that is okay! There is no set or standard amount to spend. So whether you have $0 or $1000 don’t forget to show your bridal party some love!
Bridesmaids gifts- In a world of Pinterest there is no shortage of inspiration for bridesmaids gifts! A common trend is the gift baskets or bags. Pre-made baskets or bags can be purchased from Etsy or Amazon, but you can always make your own, too! These baskets can include anything you think your gals will love, but some of the common favorites have been robes to wear while getting ready, jewelry to wear at your wedding (earrings, bracelets, and/or necklaces), ring pops (sooo inexpensive, cute sentiment, and fun), and personalized champagne flutes or water bottles. Spa themed boxes are also cute and simple to assemble! With a few multi packs of face masks and bath bombs from Marshall’s, an eye mask from Etsy, and a scented candle the gifts are complete! They can cost as low as $10 each and the ladies will be ecstatic!
Groomsmen gifts- We have all seen the personalized flasks and shot glasses, and while these are awesome, there are so many other great options out there! Ties are quite pricey, consider taking care of the cost for the guys by including their tie for your wedding in a gift box along with other items such as whiskey, engraved watches (definitely a more expensive option, but so cool!), personalized key chains, pint glasses (can be personalized, blank, or say “groomsman”), or special or personalized cufflinks.
The most important part of any gift is a heartfelt note. Express why you are grateful for these lovely people and how their presence has impacted your life! If you are on a tighter budget, personalized notes can serve as your entire token of appreciation! It is just nice to let people know they are valued and their love is reciprocated!
These gifts are typically given during the bachelor/bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinner, and/or on the wedding day.
Pro-tip #1: If you are creating a basket or bag, collect items over time to avoid a big chunk of expense at once. Collecting over time also allows you to select items that are meaningful instead of just sifting through the internet and purchasing random items over the span of a day or two.
Pro-tip #2: No matter when your wedding is, be sure to check out Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals for bridal party gifts!
Some useful links to gifts I love (Last updated 4/7/20):
Inexpensive/good quality robe link (allow up to 60 days for delivery): https://www.aliexpress.com/item/32663276771.html?spm=a2g0o.productlist.0.0.a7e4545aPgmntu&algo_pvid=66e4c635-5b8a-4328-8a25-1f7a3dbf8f5c&algo_expid=66e4c635-5b8a-4328-8a25-1f7a3dbf8f5c-0&btsid=21cf40e7-f794-478d-8e42-f7804bfb7ff8&ws_ab_test=searchweb0_0,searchweb201602_7,searchweb201603_52
Personalized Champagne Flutes (inexpensive, but plastic):
https://www.etsy.com/listing/618495701/set-of-7-personalized-flutes-name-and?ref=yr_purchases
Personalized Eyemask:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/593636412/eye-masks-funny-hangover-gift-custom?ref=yr_purchases
Ties:
Personalized cuff links:
https://www.bachtobasic.com Want to throw an incredible bachelorette party, but don’t have the time to plan? Let Bach to Basic do the planning for you!
https://misc-goods-co.com?ref=lX2K3 Use Promo Code WPLA_25 to save 25% on great gifts for your bridal party
https://flipsidez.com Use promo code WPLAW10 to save 10% on unique Bachelor/ette Party accessories and gifts!
Save the Dates, Invitations, and a bit on RSVPs
Sending out Save the Dates and Invitations are SUCH fun parts of wedding planning. For so many people this is the first step that makes everything feel real. Soak in these vital steps, and feel confident you are doing it right by reading the information below!
Sending out Save the Dates and Invitations are SUCH fun parts of wedding planning. For so many people this is the first step that makes everything feel real. Soak in these vital steps, and feel confident you are doing it right by reading the information below!
Before reading on, here are two super useful tips!
Pro-tip #1: A common mistake people make is ordering for guest count instead of household.
Mistake: ordering 250 invitations for 250 guests
Pro planning: ordering 1 invitation per household (i.e average household 3 people/house: 250 divided by 3 = ~83 Save the Dates and invitations)
Pro-tip #2: Order extra! You may want to invite additional people and you will probably want one for keepsake. While you still don’t need to order one for every single guest, rounding up is always good in case you make new friends, have people drop out that you want to replace, or just want a few extra for your own (or parents, family, close friends, etc.) keepsake! Another huge pro to this- the big name stationary sites base their discounts on round numbers, so ordering 100 vs. 84 will end up being less expensive.
Mistake- Ordering 84 save the dates/invitations for ~83 households.
Pro planning: Ordering 100 save the dates/invitations for ~83 house holds.
Save the Dates
Save the Dates are a great way to mentally prepare your guests for your upcoming wedding. You might not have all the details like time, location, attire, meal plan, etc. hammered out, but a Save the Date will let guests know the most basic information about the wedding to plan for. While these are helpful with communicating this information to guests, they do add some cost to your wedding and aren’t necessary for every situation.
When are Save the Dates REALLY needed?
Save the Dates can be useful for every wedding, but you don’t HAVE to have them for any wedding. If you are tight on money, time, or simply just don’t want them you can skip them altogether. Save the Dates are most useful when planning either a destination wedding or when planning a wedding where most of your guests will be traveling. In a situation where guests will need to be traveling it is useful to let everyone know ahead of time. Save the Dates allow guests the opportunity to save money/sent money aside for travel and gifts, communicate with work, and plan for childcare (if necessary).
When should I send my Save the Dates out?
Save the Dates can be sent whenever you have solidified a date and location. You can technically send them before a venue is booked if you are 100% positive of the city and date the wedding will be held, but it is best to send them once the venue is booked. Couples will often fall in love with a venue that isn’t available on their desired date, so they change the date to accommodate the venue. If the date you have chosen means a lot to you and you are positive you will be selecting a venue based on the date and not the other way around, go ahead and send the Save the Dates!
If you are having a lot of out of town guests or planning a destination wedding Save the Dates ideally will be sent a full year in advance. If your wedding is more intimate and still requires a majority of guests to travel, Save the Dates should be sent in the 6-8 month prior range, if possible. If you are planning a more intimate wedding in a shorter time span it may be more efficient to skip the Save the Dates, touch base personally with guests to give them a heads up, and send invitations a little sooner than you would typically.
What is the latest I should send a Save the Date?
This, again, will vary depending on the situation. The absolute latest in any situation that you should send a Save the Date is 2 months out from the wedding (and this still only works for a really intimate wedding with short planning period). For a larger wedding this deadline should be by the 4 month mark. For a larger travel heavy wedding this deadline should be 5 months out. If you can’t make this deadline, skip the Save the Dates altogether and just send an invitation. Even for an intimate wedding, 2 months would be cutting it pretty close. Keep in mind, you will need to confirm with the venue and caterers the final headcount about a month prior to the wedding so you need to have time for people to receive their Save the Date and invitation and then RSVP.
What information should my Save the Dates include?
Save the Dates are just a quick, formal heads up to guests that you will be hosting a wedding on a particular date in a certain city. At minimum the Save the Date should include your names, date, and city. A lot of couples will build a wedding website and include that on the Save the Date as well. Even if the wedding website isn’t 100% completed (and frankly at this point it probably won’t be) providing the link will give guests a resource to check in to for more information as it is made available. If you have your venue locked in you can also include this in the Save the Date.
What should my Save the Dates look like?
Like everything else with a wedding, this completely depends on what you want. A common trend is for people to use a photo from their engagement session as the background of their Save the Date. Another common trend is for people to make their Save the Dates magnets so people can keep them on their fridge or somewhere convenient to find the information.
Invitations
What information should I include in my invitations?
Invitations should be a quick snapshot of all the vital information guests need to know in order to show up to the right place at the right time on the right day. They should include the who, what, when, where, and why of the day (not necessarily in that order). Include both the bride(s) and/or groom(s) names. If someone other than yourselves are paying for a chunk, the majority, or all of the wedding it is common to word your invitation: “X and X invite you to the wedding of their [son/daughter/other- name] to [fiance name here].” The name and address of the venue is vital. They will also need to know what time to arrive. If you have a wedding website you can include the website and let people know that they can RSVP and find more info there. If you don’t have a wedding website, you’ll need to include an RSVP card and pre-stamped envelope for guests to send back. You’ll also need to include a meal card if necessary, attire expectation (even if super casual, let them know!! No one wants to show up in a ball gown when everyone else is in sun dresses!), whether kids are invited or not, hotel block information (even if you don’t have a room block, they will need to know!), transportation accommodations, and information on events surrounding the wedding (pre-wedding welcome event, after wedding brunch etc.). Again, if you have a wedding website, you can list all of this info on the website and have your invite include just the very basics.
Pro-tip: directing guests to a wedding website for more info is a great option if possible. You can update information as plans evolve, include an FAQ page so guests can refer to this instead of having everyone individually reach out to you with questions, and, last but certainly not least, you can have your registry on your website so when guests visit to RSVP they can conveniently purchase a gift.
What should my invitations look like?
Again, the aesthetics of the invitations completely depend on your taste. If possible, it is ideal to have your invitations aesthetic inline with your wedding. Chose colors, shapes, and fonts that are relatively similar to those that will be at your wedding. This will help with a few things. First, this will give guests an idea of what to expect. It can set the tone of formality and give them an idea into color scheme. If you don’t want people to dress in the same colors as your bridal party or vice versa, let them know! Either way, invitations are a great ay to start communicating what those colors will be. Second, photographers love to capture your invitation as a prop on the wedding day. Having this match the overall aesthetic will create for some more cohesive pictures. Again, this is just a suggestion. It is your wedding and there are no rules; do literally whatever you want.
When should I send my invitations?
This will vary depending on a few factors. Some things to consider: when do you need to confirm numbers with the caterer and venue? How many people will be traveling for your wedding? How many people are you inviting (the more people you invite, the more people you will need to track down to confirm RSVP status!!)? For reference, for an average wedding of 150 guests with 33% traveling domestically, you should send the invitations out 2.5 months prior to the wedding, with the RSVP date 1-1.5 months prior to the wedding depending on catering and venue requirements.
When should I have guests RSVP by?
For your own sake, it is best to set the RSVP date at least 1 month prior to your date. Guest count will alter your seat/table count, plate count, party favor count, etc. Never have I ever been a part of a wedding of any size where 100% of the guests RSVP on time on their own without a nudge. Giving yourself some extra time will help alleviate some of the planning that just can’t be done until the final headcount is in. While a month is the minimum, I highly recommend giving yourself at least 1.5 months so you have a full 2 weeks to track people down and get all RSVPs. If you are having a wedding with over 250 guests, give yourself a full 2 months. Even if you are having a wedding of 1,000 don’t give yourself more than 2 months, though. Expectedly, things happen in our guests lives and anything longer than 2 months will allow for too many unforeseeable variables in guests lives and you’ll have to do a lot of adjusting as people’s plans change.
Some great resources to purchase your Save the Dates and/or invitations
There are plenty of boutique vendors that can create incredible custom pieces for you. Everyone will have a different niche aesthetic. If you are looking for something on the less niche and more affordable end check out the following:
www.vistaprint.com
Why I love them- you can really create whatever look you are going for. There are some preset templates you can use if you are ~creatively challenged~ or you can fully customize your own cards if you’re into DIYing the design. Their prints are consistent and good quality. Another huge plus, they are CHEAP.
Pro-tip- Google discount codes before ordering! They are almost ALWAYS running a special. If you can’t find one, create an account BEFORE creating your cards. Save your design and then sit back and wait. Within a week they will email you a discount code.
www.minted.com
Why I love them- Their designs are lovely, their prints are consistent, and they give my clients a discount. Use my code: WEDPLLA for 35% off Save the Dates and 25% off all wedding things.
www.basicinvite.com
Why I love them- My very favorite thing about this site is they offer clear invitations for about $1 each. The next least expensive clear option I have found is $8/each. The price is unbeatable. They offer plenty of other designs or fully customizable blank slate options as well. The prints are consistent and good quality. They allow you to fully customize the invitations and Save the Dates.
Pro-tip- look for discount codes! They aren’t as common as Vistaprint discount codes, but their prices are already lower so it balances out. It is still worth looking for a code though!
Have additional questions? Feel free to reach out via email! theweddingplannerla@gmail.com
As always, happy planning!!
Florists- Everything You Need to Know in One Place
Flowers bring life and color to weddings in a way that is unparalleled. Even if you are taking a minimalist approach, your floral arrangements help make this statement! I have compiled all of the information you need to know, the questions you need to ask before hand, and information on how to proceed after booking your florist.
This blog is divided into 3 sections-
Basic notable things to consider when looking for a florist
Questions to ask your florist
The basics
The details
The logistics
Things to do/consider after booking your florist
Flowers bring life and color to weddings in a way that is unparalleled. Even if you are taking a minimalist approach, your floral arrangements help make this statement! While florals are my personal favorite part to decor, it is admittedly a vendor I struggle to recommend. There are just so many factors to determine which florists are going to be a good fit with which couple! I have spent a lot of time sifting through what makes a good match and in the meantime come across a lot of other valuable information that can help guide your wedding florals journey. Below I have compiled all of the information you need to know, the questions you need to ask before hand, and information on how to proceed after booking your florist.
This blog is divided into 3 sections-
Things to consider when looking for a florist
Questions to ask your florist
The basics
The details
The logistics
Things to do/consider after booking your florist
Things to consider when looking for florists:
1. Florals are expensive! There is a lot of time and artistry that goes into creating your arrangements, so a lot of florists will have cost minimums in order to make any particular job worth their while. Not all florists have minimums, but IF a florists does have a minimum most will start in the $2k range and go alllll the way up from there.
2. Even if you don’t have a massive budget for a florist, you are still paying for a service and you want to be happy with the service they are providing! Be sure to look into portfolios and provide a lot of example pictures so they can tell you honestly if a) they are confident they can create the look you are after and b) accomplish this within your budget. If a florist doesn't ask for examples/inspiration photos before providing a quote, it is typically a big red flag!
3. A florist should always, always provide an itemized order list with exactly what you’ve paid for. You can typically finalize this once you are within 45-30 days of your wedding (depending on the company), but this list is as fundamental as a contract!
4. Talk through the flowers and greenery that will be in season at the time of your wedding. If you chose flowers in season, you will save big time and get more bang for your buck!
5. Make sure to check exclusivity clauses in your contract! If you want to do any DIY arrangements or use fake flowers anywhere make sure this is allowed in your contract. If it is not, discuss the possibility of them adding these pieces into the quote for the cost you would have spent DIYing those arrangements. They may not be able to do this, but it is worth asking!
6. Sometimes it is better to go big on a few items instead of thinly spreading the budget to include more pieces. If you have to adjust the items you are ordering in order to stay in budget, I highly recommend spending more on your bouquet, the sweetheart table arrangement, and the altar arrangements. These will be in SO MANY of your photos which means you'll be looking at them for years to come! You want to be happy when you see them!
7. If you really like someone's style, tell them! Everyone loves when their work is appreciated! If a florist knows that you are a big fan of their work they will be more apt to work with your budget!
8. A great way to cut costs is by repurposing the arrangements from the ceremony area later in the evening. Depending on the size and quantity these can be moved to your sweetheart table, dessert table, or anywhere else you want to spruce up!
9. Ask all of your questions, but go for quality questions over quantity (this is true for all vendors, actually). It is so, so important to get all of your questions answered, but you want to make sure you are asking the right questions. The list of questions I have included below is very comprehensive, but not 100% of the questions are necessary in every situation. Pick and choose what is relevant to you and that particular vendor!
10. You more or less get what you pay for. If someone quotes you $2k and someone else quotes you $10k for the exact same project, there is probably a reason. Take my warning with a grain of salt, though. There are plenty of florists out there on both ends of the budget spectrum that would prove me wrong on this. Avoid feeling like you wasted money by thoroughly vetting your florists. Look through portfolios, check reviews, and make sure your contract protects you, the client, and not just the florist!
Questions to ask your florist:
The Basics-
1. Are you available on my date?
2. Can you work within my budget? Be sure to list exactly what pieces you need and explain the overall aesthetic you are going for so they can properly gauge this!
3. How long have you been working with florals? How long have you been a wedding florist specifically?
3. How would you describe your typical go-to style of florals?
4. Have you created similar looks to what I am going for in the past? Can I see examples?
5. Do you have a full portfolio and/or Instagram I can look through?
6. Do you personally create the pieces for my wedding? If not, can I speak with the person who will be taking charge and can I see examples of their work?
7. Do you personally arrive to set up my arrangements and deliver the personal flowers? If not, will I be able to contact the person responsible for this beforehand?
8. Will you have any other events on my wedding day? If they do, this shouldn’t immediately count them out, but if you have a lot of moving pieces and need them throughout your wedding day, this vendor won’t work for you.
9. Are you familiar with my venue? If not can you do a venue walk through before hand to get a feel for the space?
The details-
1. Is this your full time job or do you do something else? (Note- a new or “hobby” florist is not necessarily a bad thing! Just be sure they are ready to fully commit to your wedding. Have this commitment in writing via a contract and be sure you are protected in this contract should they need to cancel).
2. Where do you source your flowers from?
3. How are the flowers transported? Will they be kept cool and out of direct sunlight so they don’t melt?
4. Do you offer drop off’s at multiple locations (i.e. if you are getting ready somewhere besides your venue or if your ceremony and reception are in separate locations can they do multiple drop offs)?
5. What flowers will be in season at the time of my wedding? Can you make some recommendations to maximize my budget while still staying true to the style I like?
6. Do you provide vases or will I need to supply them? If you do provide them, will they need be returned to you, will you pick them up, or are they mine to keep at the end?
7. Do you have any other decor rentals available?
8. Will you help me with preserving my bouquet after the wedding? If not, can you provide insight into what I can do to preserve my bouquet?
9. I want to add some flowers to my wedding cake. Can you work with my baker to make this happen?
10. Can you create a sample centerpiece and bouquet before booking so I can see that we are on the same page? If so, will this cost extra?
The logistics:
1. Will the types of flowers I am hoping to use hold up in hours of direct sunlight?
2. Will you need access to a water source?
3. Can the arrangements on my arbor be repurposed later in the event?
4. Will you stay onsite throughout to day to remove/move my altar arrangements and clear the florals at the end of the night? Is there an extra fee for this?
5. How long does it typically take you to set up this amount of florals?
6. When will I need to finalize the order?
7. How much is the deposit?
8. When is the final payment due? Do you find that this amount typically varies from the initial quote? If so, by how much?
9. Do you charge any travel/delivery/set-up fees?
10. What is your preferred method of payment?
11. If the you are renting any decor items to me, can I see an itemized price list beforehand of what I would be charged if any of those pieces go missing, are not returned at the end of the night, or are damaged?
Things to do/consider after booking your florist
1. Don’t forget to finalize your order! The florist wouldn’t let this happen anyway, but it is good to keep it in mind. Be aware of when you need to finalize your order so you can fully think through exactly what you want beforehand.
2. Keep your florist in the loop as your vision evolves. Make sure that the new ideas you want to incorporate won’t drastically change the overall cost. Something as simple as falling in love with peonies for your December wedding can easily double your quote!
3. Print out your finalized order list and delegate someone reliable to confirm everything is accounted for on the day of. If you have a planner or day of coordinator then that is the person you want to give the list to. If you don’t have a coordinator, find some one you trust who can thoroughly go through the checklist and make sure everything has been delivered and set up. If something is missing, they will need to make a note of it so you get your money back for the missing item.
4. Label bouquets and corsages. Organization is key when it comes to keeping everything running smoothly on your big day, and florals are no exception! Labeling personal flowers (and even the bigger arrangements) is a great way to guarantee all of the florals are accounted for and get to who/where they need to be! Most florists will take care of this aspect for you, but it is always good to confirm with them that they will take care of this. if you are choosing to DIY your flowers it is a great idea to bring small tags to clearly mark each bouquet, boutonniere, corsage, etc.
5. Ensure the florist has a water source (if applicable- it almost always is). The florist will usually inquire about this beforehand, but it is always a great factor to cover with your venue beforehand!
6. If you can give away your centerpieces, make sure no centerpiece is left behind! 2 ideas for this:
One great way to guarantee your centerpieces aren’t left behind is by having guests compete for them in a friendly “centerpiece game.” Usually these games are played amongst each table which also encourages conversation between guests who may not already know each other. Make sure the DJ/MC announces that the winner of the game at each table wins the centerpiece! There are several different games you can have guests play, so be sure to look into the options and personalize where you can! Click here for a few great ideas for centerpiece games!
Another, simpler, way to encourage guests to take centerpieces is to have the DJ/MC announce that they can be taken. In this scenario, guests will just take the centerpieces based on a first come (or leave in this case) first serve bases. Pro tip: make sure the DJ makes this announcement really early in the evening at a point when guests very clearly understand that the party isn’t over yet, and then remake the announcement in the last 15 minutes of the reception (if they make the announcement at the beginning of dancing, people may feel pressured to leave, but if they wait until the absolute end too many guests may be gone and not all of the centerpieces will be taken).
7. If you need to return your centerpieces, make sure your centerpieces aren’t accidentally taken by guests! If you are not giving away your centerpieces, have the DJ/MC make an announcement early in the reception and in the last 15 minutes. It is no fun to have a sad florist/decorator and extra charges at the end of the night because they are missing some of their beloved vases! Avoid this by clearly communicating with guests via your MC, and delegate a few people to retrieve any centerpieces wandering away with guests who may have missed the memo.
8. Look into ways to preserve your bouquet BEFORE your wedding. Have an idea of what you want to do with it so you can take quick action following the wedding so that it keeps as best as possible!
Did I miss anything? Let me know! Feel free to reach out with questions or comments!
As always, happy planning!!
Select Your Vendors Like a Pro
Selecting vendors can be a daunting task. There are SO many options out there so how can you be sure you are making a good choice? It is challenging selecting vendors that fit in your budget or are worth stretching the budget for! There are a few specific steps I take when sifting through and vetting vendors before sending them to my clients. Follow these steps and you’ll be picking vendors like a pro!
Selecting vendors can be a daunting task. There are SO many options out there so how can you be sure you are making a good choice? It is challenging selecting vendors that fit in your budget or are worth stretching the budget for! There are a few specific steps I take when sifting through and vetting vendors before sending them to my clients. Follow these steps and you’ll be picking vendors like a pro!
***Before you get going on vendor research, I highly recommend making a full budget!! Making a full, realistic budget will help guide your vendor selection. See my full budget guide here***
Decide on a general vision for each specific vendor-
Before diving into the deep end of vendor research, have an idea of what you are after. A few things to shape this vision: budget, what you hope to get out of your contract with this vendor (i.e. how many hours, how many assistants, etc.), what “style” do you want (i.e. what kind of venue do you want, what style of photography do you like, what kind of food do you want, etc.).
Venue- indoor, outdoor, mix of both, beach, woods, mountains, all inclusive, DIY, somewhere in between, how late do you want to be there into the evening, will they be hosting other events in the space that day, will they take care of trash removal, do they provide restrooms, power, or any other basic amenities, do they provide tables, chairs, an arbor, a bar space,etc.? For reference, a wedding with 100 guests at a venue that provides only power and restrooms will cost about $7k in rentals, if you go with the most basic rental options. This should absolutely be factored in to your overall cost when selecting a venue.
Wedding Planner- do you want to be involved in wedding planning or do you want to think about it as little as possible? You will spend a lot of time with your wedding planner and your wedding planner needs to be able to see YOUR vision in order to create your special day. Make sure that this is someone you are ready and excited to spend time with!
Photographer- do you want light and airy, dark and moody, true to color, posed photos, raw emotions, or a mix, how many hours will you need them, do you need 2 photographers or will one suffice (2 are recommended for larger guest counts and spread out venues), do you want an engagement shoot, how many photos are you hoping to get back? Ask to see a full wedding album instead of just the highlights!
Videographer- what do you want included in the video? Montage of key events throughout the day, full vows, speeches, and special dances, or a combo of the above? Be sure to look through several examples so you have a clear idea of what your edit will include.
Caterer- what kind of food do you want, how will it be served, will they provide apps as well, do they offer plates, cups, and flatware rentals, how experienced are they with larger events, do they provide bussers?
DJ/Musician- will they make announcements for you throughout the event, how many sound systems will they bring (you will need 2-3 for most venues if you are doing ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception in different spaces), will they allow you to provide song requests, do they have experience playing to a crowd, can they provide a microphone for the ceremony and reception, how active are they on the mic? HINT: A sound system is the full set up which will include a set of speakers (1-2 speakers for ceremony cocktail hour, 2+ speakers for dinner/dancing), microphone (confirm this with your DJ! Some charge extra), amp, mixer, music device (usually a laptop), and dance floor lighting (where appropriate).
Bar- do you need a full service bar, or would you like to build your own bar and hire just the bartenders? Will your venue allow you to DIY the bar? If you are DIYing the bar, will you ned to rent the physical bar? Are you bartenders licensed?
Florist- do you want more “traditional” bouquets and centerpieces or would you like something else? Are you looking for other decor rental? A lot of florists also offer vases, candles, and other decor to add to your order. Be sure to look through their portfolios! If you have a go-to florist you typically use, but are looking for a different style, show them some examples of what you would like and see if it is something they have experience with or feel comfortable doing. A lot of florists will do special designs that are outside of their norm but not show examples of this work on their Instagram or website because it isn’t “on brand.”
Dessert- what kind of dessert do you want, how do you want your cake to look, how many tiers do you wants the cake to have, will they deliver or do your desserts need to be picked up?
Hair and makeup- up-do, hair down, braiding, something in between, heavy contour makeup, natural look, something in between? Be sure to look through portfolios and ask for a trial run day! Trial runs are very important! Not just to make sure you like the styles they come up with but also to see how long your hair and makeup are holding up throughout the day.
Rentals- does the company offer unique pieces that will work with your venue, are the rates competitive with other comparable companies in your area, what will they charge for delivery, do they offer same day delivery and pick up, can they extend delivery and pick up is necessary?
Do your own research-
Recommendations from friends or professionals are a great place to start, but doing your own research to make sure they are a good fit for you is vital. Just because a friend or professional has had a good experience with someone, doesn’t mean they are going to be a great fit for you! Friends of friends may offer discounts, but if these people are not professionals then you may be wasting $400 instead of feeling good about spending $800. Ask to see pictures or videos of these “friendors” in action! If they do this professionally on the side, ask for a website or review site link! I’ve seen plenty of vendors that recommend other vendors that they haven’t worked with for a long time. Business quality can change overtime so it is important to confirm the recommended company is still worth your while!
Diversify your Research sources-
Conduct research from a few different angles. A quick google search might not yield the kind of options that you are looking for. WeddingWire, The Knot, Thumbtack, Facebook wedding groups, and sites like these will give you more diverse vendor options! Depending on the type of vendor you are looking for search on Instagram, too!
Always cross reference reviews-
Reviews can vary from platform to platform so it is important to cross reference and be sure that you are getting the most recent takes on the company. Some insight into review companies: anyone can leave a company reviews on Google so companies may ask their friends to leave reviews to raise their overall rating. WeddingWire is similar, but it is more challenging to leave a review on, so friends are less likely to pad the reviews for vendors. Yelp has an algorithm that is meant to weed out “fake” reviews, but a lot of real reviews are taken down in the process (there are also a lot of theories on their marketing approach that can also affect the reviews that show). Be sure to scroll down on the Yelp pages to the “unrecommended” section to read reviews that aren’t weighted in overall.
Read reviews with a different perspective-
Even if you like the quote a company sends and they have five stars across review platforms, be sure to read the reviews and look for consistencies. For example, if I’m looking for DJ/MCs and I see a lot of five star reviews saying how the MC "is really active on the mic,” I’m not going to send that company to a couple who really just wants music and a few key announcements.
Schedule phone or in-person meetings before booking-
It is important to feel comfortable on your wedding day and your vendors a huge part of your comfort! You will spend so much time with certain vendors on your actual wedding day, and even the ones that you won’t, they will still interact with guests! If you have a vendor that runs a little high strung, they may create unnecessary anxiety on your special day. A great way to accommodate this is to make sure your personalities mesh beforehand!
Read through your contracts very, very closely-
This is a legally binding document that should protect you as well as the vendor. Make sure that there is fine print written in about what will happen in the event of cancelation (on either the couple AND vendors part). Numbers and dates should be firm (I.e. by what date will you get sneak peek pics back, when can you expect the full album back, how many photos can you expect back, etc. These examples are specific to photos, but all contracts should be quantitative and clear. This does not apply when booking a wedding planner if you don’t already have a venue secured). A contract that doesn’t protect you is definitely a red flag!! If you find any of these issues and bring them up to a vendor and they are unwilling to adjust the contract to protect you, that is a major red flag and a good sign that you should continue your search!
Other notable tips:
A vendor’s experience doesn’t necessarily chalk up to quality of service! Just because someone hasn’t been working weddings specifically for a long time doesn’t mean they should be immediately counted out. If you like their style, food, etc., they are well informed on the effort that weddings take, and they are ready to do what it takes to do an awesome job on your wedding they are still worth considering. If you unsure about them, ask your wedding planner or coordinator! They may be able to offer valuable insight to make sure you are making the best decisions for your wedding!
Break up your search into several days. It is easy to get burnt out on sifting through vendors. Packages start to run together, things that would normally stick out become easy to overlook, and the whole experience may become less enjoyable.
Be thorough! Don’t settle! You can find the perfect vendor out there for you!
Be sure to check out my preferred vendors list to kick start your search!
Useful links:
Budget planning tips: https://www.theweddingplannerla.com/blog/wedding-budgeting-the-first-step-to-planning
My preferred vendors: https://www.theweddingplannerla.com/resources
Day of Packing List
Packing for your wedding is one of those tasks that is so important, but can’t really be done until a day or two before hand. Doing anything this last minute for a wedding can feel chaotic. Rest easy knowing you’ve thought of everything by following this packing list for the day and night of your wedding!
Once you have all read through the decor packing and checklist, it is time to get yourself packed and ready!! Packing for your wedding is one of those tasks that is so important, but can’t really be done until a day or two before hand. Doing anything this last minute for a wedding can feel chaotic. Rest easy knowing you’ve thought of everything by following this packing list for the day and night of your wedding! Pro-tip: The girl scout motto rings truer than ever when it comes to weddings- ALWAYS BE PREPARED! As the lightest packer I know, trust me when I say when it comes to wedding day you’d much rather have something and not need it than need it and not have it!
What to pack if you’re getting ready at a hotel or venue:
WEDDING DRESS!!! (with a hanger- a cute hanger is a great idea if possible! Photographers love to capture photos of your dress hanging before it goes on!)
Marriage certificate!!!
A backup outfit to wear later in the night (even if you aren’t planning a wardrobe change, bring something just in case!)
Something to wear while getting your hair and make-up done- a robe or button-up that doesn’t need to be pulled over your head to take off is best! Remember, you will be taking A LOT of pictures while getting ready, so pick something cute!
Snacks- or even a full breakfast or lunch depending how long you have set aside for getting ready, bottled water, and champagne or other alcohol (if the venue won't be supplying food and drinks- this is a great task to delegate to a bridesmaid or family member)
Undergarments
Back up undergarments
Shoes
Back up flats
Your own makeup bag (always, always good to have just in case)
Your own hair styling products and tools (again, best to be prepared for anything!)
Tylenol or Excedrin
Jewelry and accessories (don’t forget your garter if you are planning on a garter toss!!)
Your “something old, borrowed, new and blue,” if you are choosing to partake in this tradition
Emergency items: safety pins, tissues, first aid kit, sewing kit, even more feminine products, band-aids, breath mints, deodorant, double-stick tape, extra buttons, floss, super glue, scissors, etc. (This is a great task to delegate to a bridesmaid or family member!!)
Tooth brush and tooth paste
Hair brush/comb (a comb with wide and spread out bristles is better if you will have curls)
Hair ties and bobby pins
If you wear contacts: contact case, contact solution, back up pair of contacts, and glasses
Anything you'd like to have photographed (save the dates and invitations make for great pictures! Sentimental items like a grandmothers necklace, are also great to have)
Your own lipstick
Chapstick
Sunglasses
Headphones (in case you need some quiet time)
Phone charger
Any cash payments ready in envelopes for final payments and/or tips for vendors
Day of timeline with all vendor contact information
Pen and paper
NOTECARDS (for vows- notecards are the easiest way to write your vows. They are portable, don’t shake if you tremble, and are easy to write big enough on to clearly see)
The rings!
A ring box, if you are using one
Bridal party gifts (make sure you have any jewelry or robes you intend for the bridesmaids to wear!)
Clothes steamer for wrinkles
Extra copy of the bride’s vows (put an extra copy in someone’s purse, email it to a bridesmaid, give a copy to your coordinator, just be sure to have another copy some where accessible just in case!!)
Lint brush
Nail polish in the same color you’re wearing
Nail polish remover
Rubbing alcohol
Makeup remover (oil based is best when dealing with professional makeup)
If you have long nails (especially hard gel or acrylic) bring coordinating press on nails in case one breaks or lifts off.
Stain-remover wipes
Water and a drinking straw (straws will save your lipstick- reusable straws save your lipstick AND the turtles)
White chalk for covering up dress stains
White gaffer’s tape to patch tears in your dress
A speaker to play music on while you’re getting ready and a charger is necessary (need a great getting ready playlist? Check this one out on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6k5182a9AwPBGwUGmNbv7B?si=WY3_J-z1QOC3MYj4MCAO3A )
Wedding Over Night Bag:
Toothbrush and toothpaste
If you wear contacts: contact case, contact solution, back up pair of contacts, glasses (if this bag won’t be with you while you’re getting ready, be sure to pack all of this in your day of bag!)
Hairbrush
Make-up remover for some serious makeup - oil based ones are great for removing layers of makeup
Wedding night lingerie if you were planning on wearing any (Being too tired to ever put it on is 100% possible, but better to be prepared!)
Deodorant
Second day outfit
Second day underwear
Second day shoes and accessories
Flat shoes
Comfy socks (no cold feet here!!)
Pajamas
A quality conditioner (especially necessary if you have a braid or will be in a windy area!)
Moisturizer
Feminine products
Nail file
Small scissors
Your makeup bag
Your perfume
A mini speaker (and charger if necessary)
Tylenol and/or Excedrin (depending on how prone you are to headaches)
Any medication you take regularly
Phone charger
House keys
Champagne! (Depending on where you are staying, you may want to consider calling ahead to the front desk to place something special out for you instead of taking up room in your luggage with this)