Wedding Planning Mistakes: 5 Hidden Pitfalls (and How to Stay Stress-Free)
You have gotten engaged, decided on an overall aesthetic for your wedding, booked a venue, and have specific elements for design in mind. Now the time has come to transition your Pinterest boards from dream to reality! While planning the logistics necessary to bring your vision to life is fun and exciting, the process has a reputation for turning stressful. There are some common pitfalls that people run into that can be key contributors to sucking the fun right out of something you've looked forward to. Below are 5 of the most frequent mistakes people make while planning a wedding and (more importantly) how to avoid them!
You have gotten engaged, decided on an overall aesthetic for your wedding, booked a venue, and have specific elements for design in mind. Now the time has come to transition your Pinterest boards from dream to reality! While planning the logistics necessary to bring your vision to life is fun and exciting, the process has a reputation for turning stressful. There are some common pitfalls that people run into that can be key contributors to sucking the fun right out of something you've looked forward to. Below are 5 of the most frequent mistakes people make while planning a wedding and (more importantly) how to avoid them!
*Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no cost to you.*
Mistake 1: Forgetting to Budget Before Spending
The internet is a wonderful tool full of wedding inspiration - but all of the picturesque weddings popping up on social media don’t include price tags. Be sure to sit down with your partner and determine your budget before you book or buy anything! A budget is as much a price limit on your entire wedding as it is a guide for how much you’d like to spend on each vendor, decor element, or clothing item. Making a budget will also help you figure out what elements are most important to you - do you want lots of fragrant florals, or is having a top shelf selection at the bar more important? - and then allocate those funds accordingly so that you can manage your expectations and shop within a price range that you are comfortable with!
Pro-tip: If you are working on a limited budget, spend BIG on a few focal point items instead of spreading your budget too thin. Once the I-do's are said and the cake is cleared, the wedding photos are how you will predominantly look back on your big day! Choose a photographer that will produce quality images you will be happy to reminisce on your day over and ensure the elements in those photos are ones you are filled with joy to see. For example, the altar arrangements and your bouquet will be in more pictures than centerpieces or a welcome table, so prioritize those items when budgeting!
Pro-tip: DIYing your florals is extremely time-intensive and live floral arrangements can only be assembled 12-24 hours before the wedding day and need to be kept in a cool, somewhat humid environment (exact temperatures for ideal storage vary depending on flower type, though most would be ideally stored between 34-38 degrees F, with a humidity level of 75-85%). If this is a DIY project you are considering, be sure you have enough help and time to complete the arrangements without taking away from any of the other things you will need to do in those precious last hours leading up to your wedding!
Mistake 3: Constantly adding people to your guest list
Weddings are a time to not only commit your life in partnership and love, it is also a time to celebrate the support and community you are surrounded by! For many couples, drawing the line on the maximum number of invitees can be a challenge. It is helpful to create at least a rough draft of your guest list prior to booking a venue in order to ensure you are securing a space that can accomodate the number of guests you would like to host.
Organizing a list of everyone can be a very stressful feeling, but it does not have to be! Start by breaking up your guest list into small lists (An Excel sheet is great for this) - one tab for your family, one for your partner’s family, another for your friends, their friends, shared friends, work friends, etc. Prioritize each list into must invite, like to invite, and invite if the budget allows. Then as RSVPs come in, you can extend invites to additional people as needed.
Mistake 2: Trying to DIY Too Much
Wedding planning while newly-engaged can really bring out the artist in all of us. The idea of hand-painting signs and knitting favors for all 150 of your guests may sound like fun projects to incorporate bespoke touches to your big day- and they are!- but the reality may be a little different. While personalized, DIYed elements add a personal touch to your wedding and often save money, overextending your creativity and time can lead to wedding planning burnout! Instead of overloading yourself with too many projects, stick to only manageable projects that best use your creative talents, and leave the rest to Amazon Handmade and Etsy.
Pro-tip: Keep in mind that every guest costs more than just the price of a meal and a bar tab! Calculate the cost of every seat (table & chair rental, cost of centerpieces & table numbers, plates, drinkware, silverware, napkins, additional service staff to adequately serve & clean, etc.). Communicate with your partner about the importance of sticking to your invite list! For some people this is no problem, but if you and/or your partner are the kind that has never met a stranger and is at risk of inviting your Uber driver to the wedding, be sure you both are on the same page about the wedding guest list!
Mistake 4: Forgetting to delegate
Aside from actually getting married and celebrating the night away, you will have A LOT to do on your wedding day. Between gettting ready, taking photos, visiting with guests, eating (don't forget to actually eat!), you personally won't have time to do any of the set-up, breakdown, or logistical behind the scenes stuff that goes on in order to make your wedding day come together! To this end, seek out the support of professionals to ensure all of your hard work comes together in way you will be happy with. If professionals are not available for any certain task or are not within the budget, turn to trusted friends and/or family to assist with elements like picking up the cake, communicating with vendors on the day of, and confirming transportation. Delegate tasks, loosen the reins a bit, and enjoy the process!
Pro-tip: Even if you have a planner, coordinator, and/or decorator it is extremely helpful to delegate certain getting ready tasks to your wedding party or family members. A few examples include making sure your lunch makes it to you (and in you!) while getting ready, if you want to listen to music someone will need to make a playlist and bring a speaker, and someone will need to be in communication with your transportation team and/or wedding coordinator.
Mistake 5: Over-scheduling and Under-timing
Creating an unrealistic timeline that leaves no room for unexpected delays or breathing room is a sure fire way to add stress to any wedding. Build in buffer time between activities like traveling from the ceremony location to the reception (especially if they are at two separate locations across town!). Factor in time for travel, photos, and getting ready. Discuss a backup plan with your vendors in case unforeseen circumstances arise.
Pro-tip: Schedule the ceremony start time 30 minutes after guests are expected to arrive. Guests can mingle, sign the guest book, drop off cards and gifts, and find their seats during the in-between time, but allowing this 30 minutes will ensure your ceremony is not delayed due to guests' late arrival.
Bonus mistake! Forgetting to color coordinate your wedding attire with accessories!
There are endless shades of white and ivories and blacks and grays and really every color on the color wheel! Be sure to look at all of your wedding attire items next to each other, in person ahead of time to ensure they work well together. This goes for all wedding party attire, too! Check in with each wedding party member a few weeks in advance to ensure they have sourced any items they are to provide themselves (i.e. If the groomsmen all need to wear matte black dress shoes, make sure they know and are on top of it!)
Pro-tip: Champagne and gold go well with white and ivory! You can mix these shades in with your white or ivory for a regal accent.
Soaking Up the Sun: Ideas for Your Summertime SoCal Wedding
Los Angeles, and southern California at large, has some of the most beautiful wedding venues in the world. No matter your style, you can find a venue that matches your tastes. The endless sunshine, especially in summer, offers a unique canvas for creating a magical celebration. But planning a summer wedding in SoCal comes with some unique challenges. Here are some tips from our experience as Los Angeles wedding planners for planning a perfect summer wedding!
*Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no cost to you.*
Start with the venue!
Beach Bliss: Typically the California coastline boasts cooler weather than inland. So even in summer an outdoor wedding can be comfortable. When planning your wedding by the water in , opt for a light, airy feel with white chairs and pops of color in the florals.
DO: Choose a venue in a place Malibu, Palos Verdes, or Santa Barbara where the temperature is mild in the summer
DON’T: Plan an outdoor wedding during the summer in San Fernando Valley, where the temperatures hit triple digits during the summer months.
Vineyard Charm: Did you know that Los Angeles has a surprising number of wineries? These venues offer a sophisticated yet relaxed ambiance, perfect for an afternoon ceremony followed by an alfresco reception under the twinkling stars.
DO: Consider a vineyard style venue like Cielo Farms, located in Malibu!
DON’T: Forget about Santa Barbara! The area boasts many gorgeous vineyard style venues like Zaca Mesa Winery in Los Olivos, CA.
Rooftop Romance: A wedding downtown might suit your tastes! An early evening ceremony on a venue’s panoramic rooftop at a venue can capture the sunset with a touch of urban chic. Afterwards, your guests can head indoors for a sleek modern reception.
DO: Opt for a ceremony start date after 5pm - when the sun’s rays have dimmed a bit.
DON’T: Forget ambient lighting! String lights always have a magical feel.
PRO-TIP: Ask your DJ if they provide mood lighting!
Some of our decor picks for a beach wedding:
Working with the Elements
Dress for comfort: Choose light and airy fabrics over heavier ones.
DO: Choose clothes made of plant fabrics, like cotton or linen that breathe well
DON’T: Wear heavy, non-breathable fabrics like satin or velvet at an outdoor summer wedding
Floral Fantasy: Choose flowers that are heat-resistant, or dried even flowers! Succulents are always a quirky touch. Don't be afraid to get creative with centerpieces and floral arrangements.
DO: Choose flowers like lavender, geraniums, and zinnias, that tolerate heat well
DON’T: Leave flowers like hydrangeas, roses, or anemones out in the heat, as they will quickly wilt!
Beat the Heat: While the sun is a welcome guest, be mindful of your guests' comfort. Provide shaded areas, offer fans or parasols, and have cooling beverages readily available before and throughout the ceremony and reception.
DO: Have a refreshment station available to guests pre-ceremony
DON’T: Have your guests sitting in direct sun during the ceremony!
Have a Plan B: Consider an alternative indoor location for your ceremony should it be too hot on your wedding day. You may also reserve large umbrellas or tents from a rental company. Be sure to check the weather every day up until your wedding day! Make a plan with your planner/coordinator in advance in case of inclement weather.
DO: Have some indoor or shaded spaces for guests at an outdoor wedding
DON’T: Forget that weather forecasts are just that - forecasts! Anything can happen weather-wise, so be prepared!
Culinary Delights
Light and Fresh Fare: A hot, heavy meal might not be the most satisfying under the summer sun. Choose lighter dishes like fresh seafood, seasonal salads, and chilled soups.
California Cuisine: Embrace the local food scene! Offer a menu that reflects SoCal’s diverse culinary landscape, with options like gourmet tacos, fresh sushi platters, or wood-fired pizzas. A food truck is always a fun catering option
Sweet Summer Treats: Who doesn't love a cold dessert on a hot day? Set up a gelato stand or have a beautifully-decorated cake with lighter flavors like lemon or berries.
Time to Party:
Live Music Under the Stars: Hire a local band to create a lively atmosphere. Choose music that reflects your taste and gets your guests moving on the dance floor. Live music doesn’t have to be at the reception - a soloist pre-ceremony or during cocktail hour is great as well.
Photo Booth Fun: Provide a photo booth with fun props for guests to capture memories of your special day.
Backyard Games: Set up some fun lawn games like cornhole or giant Jenga to keep guests entertained during cocktail hour or breaks between dancing.
PRO-TIP: These games can usually be rented through a rental company, or purchased, if you are looking to have at-home entertainment in the future that doubles as a wedding memento
Don't forget the little details:
Sun Protection: Offer sunscreen or parasols as a thoughtful touch for your guests to protect themselves from the Angeleno sun.
Bug Spray: Warm evenings can bring mosquitos. Having bug spray on hand ensures your guests remain comfortable throughout the celebration. Citronella candles are also a way to keep bugs at bay.
Useful favors: Water bottles with custom labels, plastic sunglasses, and hand fans are cute guest favors that double as useful tool for staying cool during the wedding.
DIY: Is it right for me, how much should I do, and how do I get started?
At some point in the wedding planning process most couples are faced with a choice: what can I DIY and what should I buy? I adore DIY Weddings. But, as much as it pains me, a huge focus of this blog will be “is DIY for me?” and “how much DIY is too much DIY?” as much as I hate to think if these realities, it doesn’t stop them from being very real factors for every engaged couple. We are going to tackle this topic by answering a few questions: first, “I want a DIY wedding will it work for me?” second, “what kind of things are easy to DIY?”, and finally, “is there a such thing as too much DIY?”
When getting started on wedding planning I think most people go through a few stages. Stage 1: excitement! You just got engaged and you’re stoked! Stage 2: overwhelmed. You jump on Pinterest, maybe do a little venue research and suddenly feel like there are 10 million decisions to make and have a quick panic. Stage 3: confidence. You book that first vendor and suddenly feel like you’re back on top of the wedding planning game. Stage 4-6: repeat stages 1-3 a few times. Stage 7: check in on how much you’ve spent and toy with the idea of cancelling everything and eloping instead. Stage 8: realize you don’t want to cancel your wedding and consider planting a garden so you can do your own wedding flowers for free. Stage 9: repeat stages 1-3 again. Stage 10: acceptance and love. Your wedding day comes and everything is okay, because you got to marry your person and that was all that ever mattered.
At some point in the wedding planning process most couples are faced with a choice: what can I DIY and what should I buy? I adore DIY Weddings. But, as much as it pains me, a huge focus of this blog will be “is DIY for me?” and “how much DIY is too much DIY?” We are going to tackle this topic by answering a few questions: first, “I want a DIY wedding will it work for me?” second, “what kind of things are easy to DIY?”, and finally, “is there a such thing as too much DIY?”
I WANT TO DIY BUT IS IT RIGHT FOR ME??
To figure this out you need to ask yourself a few questions:
What time frame am I working with? Are you planning a wedding 2 years away or 6 months away?
How much time every week will I be able to spend working on these projects? Maybe you are planning a wedding 2 years away but you work 60 hour weeks and won’t have as much time to spend. Maybe you are getting married in 6 months but have a lot of time to dedicate to wedding preparations.
Am I crafty or is this new territory for me? Being already crafty is a huge plus, but don’t count yourself out on the DIY if you aren’t already into crafting. Just take into consideration, if you are new to crafting you may need a little more time and support to bring some of your ideas to life.
What is my support system like? Think about your friends and family. Are they involved in your wedding planning? Do they have time to help you with projects? It is important to look at this really carefully. Remember, it is your wedding and nobody is going to care about it quite as much as you do. There is nothing wrong with that! But you want to make sure that you don’t lean too heavily on certain members of your support system or else they will burn out! So make sure you have enough people to delegate tasks to!
Is my support system crafty or skilled in areas that will make this process smoother? Having a support system who is already great at crafting is a big bonus.
Will I actually save money doing this? DIY can be a great way to save money, but it also can add up very quickly if you aren’t careful to track your spending.
Will the money I save be worth the time I will spend? Sometimes the answer is yes. Sometimes it doesn’t even come down to money; maybe DIY is just a way to stay connected to your wedding throughout the planning process. Just be sure to have realistic expectations about how long some projects will take.
It is infinitely better to ask yourself these questions before you get going and realize that maybe you’ve bitten off a little more than you can chew. Or maybe are on the fence and by asking yourself these questions you found the inspiration to go for it!
Once you have worked through these questions and decided you would like to take on some (or maybe all) DIY projects, it is very helpful to come up with a clear vision for your wedding aesthetic. Even if you want a hodgepodge of eclectic decor, it is great to decide what kind of eclectic you want! All vintage items? All boho items? Super modern and minimalist? Whatever you decide, try to do so before starting projects. It will make your life a lot easier, trust me.
What kind of things are easy to DIY?
You can DIY virtually every aspect involved with a wedding. From the venue, to the food, to the decorations, to the music, to the bar, literally every single aspect could be taken on as a project. That is all A LOT to take on, and most people don’t choose to DIY every single aspect. There are a few easy projects that you can take on yourself though. Table numbers, seating charts, wedding signs, party favors, and centerpieces rank among what I would consider to be the easiest.
You can do Table numbers so many different ways. You can make this as simple or as involved as you would like. Some of the most common easy DIY table number tricks are
Printing out the numbers on card stock paper and clipping them into free standing picture holder. You can find these at any craft store, target, Walmart, or of course Amazon.
Printing the numbers out and putting them in picture frames
If you have access to a vinyl printer there are even more options, including staining wood planks and putting vinyl numbers on them. You can leave the wood raw or stain it to match your color scheme and aesthetic. Another idea is to use clear acrylic sheets and print the numbers on those. Make them stand by using the free standing picture holders on the bottom.
If you don’t have a vinyl printer you can always order the vinyl numbers from Etsy and apply them yourself.
Seating charts are also another relatively easy item to create on your own. There are plenty of approaches to take on this too.
The easiest way to do this is to create a seating chart on your computer and printing it out at Costco, Staples, or any big printing company. Check with your local stores to make sure they can print in the size you want (most are happy to print on large sturdy poster board). You can dress it up by downloading some layouts from Etsy or create your own design!
Finding or creating a structure that you can hang the table assignments from. I have a lovely copper structure that works amazing for this. I use some wire to string from side to side and then use mini clothespins (Dollar Tree sells packs of 50 for just a dollar) to hang the individual table assignments from.
You can also write your table assignments on a mirror or chalkboard paint pens, just be sure to measure out how much space you have first before writing. Pro tip- while measuring, tape ribbon to the outside of the frame to create equally sized sections for your seats. This way you don’t make marks that need to be erased later and your sections are equal.
If you are going the rustic route, find an old pallet, stain it, and either hang printing table assignments using the techniques I mentioned earlier, or write them on with a paint pen!
Wedding signs are also fairly easy to make!
You can of course print them on poster board using the same place you choose to get your seating chart, if you choose to go that route.
You can also print the signs out and put them in picture frames! I always love this option. They look so cute and classy.
Another option is going to chalkboard route. You can either find cute frames and paint the glass part with chalkboard paint. A simpler option is to buy chalkboard signs from your local craft store.
You can also go the mirror sign route or the acrylic sign route. You can use paint pens on either of these or if you have access to a vinyl printer, printing vinyl letters always looks nice, too!
DIYing party favors can be simple and is a really nice personal touch since these will be going home with guests.
There are really so many routes to take on this one. You can make goody bags, koozies, something that relates specifically to you and your fiance’s life, some kind of homemade snack or craft, really the list just goes on and on.
My sister and her husband made these adorable little coasters by slicing a tree branch that fell in their backyard, sealing and staining them.
A couple from a few weekends ago used small plastic drink shakers that they put their wedding date using vinyl letters. They filled the shaker with candy wrapped in their wedding colors.
Another couple used shot glasses that doubled as place cards for their guests.
The possibilities are really endless.
Centerpieces can be as easy or as intricate as you make them. We will talk about some more simple centerpiece options for now.
If you are choosing to not use a florist you and are going to do your own flowers (really a whole other DIY project that deserves its own podcast) you can find simple vases. I’m a big advocate for finding vases or candle holders from thrift stores. This is more cost effective and creates less waste.
You can also find vases and candle holders (including the large clear hurricane candle holders) from the Dollar Tree.
I’m always partial to upcycling. I love when people putting together more casual weddings use empty wine or beer bottles. Just take the labels off and you have got some amazing and unique vases!
There are SO many directions to go with these, so it is really helpful to have a clear vision of color and style that you want before you start collecting things.
Check out my Instagram @theweddingplannerla to get some ideas and more in depth tricks on how to create some of the DIY projects mentioned here
IS THERE SUCH A THING AS TOO MUCH DIY
A wedding is such a big milestone in your life. The day comes and goes so quickly, so doing small projects over a period of time to prepare for this moment is a great way to stay connected and truly savor this special time in your life. A lot of people take a year to two years to plan a wedding, and that’s a lot of time to get things done… or so it seems. So to answer our question “Is there such a thing as too much DIY?” we need to go back to the questions you asked yourself in the beginning of this blog.
There are plenty of people out there that can really pull off incredibly involved 100% DIY weddings. This requires an incredible amount of time and discipline. If you have a lot of support that really does go a long way, too. You could also DIY 100% of your wedding but go the very simplistic, minimalist route. This vibe has been very popular lately, too. Just because you can DIY everything, doesn’t necessarily mean that you should. If your reasons are purely budget related, make sure you weigh all options. By the time you are done DIYing things, you may just end up spending more than if you had gone the rental or all inclusive venue route. If you really just love projects and you have the time and the support, then GO FOR It. Again, little projects wedding related are a great way to stay connected to such a monumental event in your life, especially when you start planning a long time in advance.
So what happens when you start a DIY project and it isn’t coming out how you pictured?
I have two very opposite philosophies for you:
1st, did you ever read the book “A beautiful oops” as a child? Basically, the idea, is in art, there is no such thing as a mistake, just an “oops” that might change your outcome from what you expected, but the outcome will still be beautiful.
When you are working on your DIY projects, be kind to yourself. Just because your craft isn’t looking just like what you saw on Pinterest doesn’t mean that it isn’t beautiful. Perhaps it your trial and errors you will come up with something completely unique!
2nd, have you ever heard of the sunk cost fallacy? Sorry, this is going to get a little philosophical, but I think this is relevant to many aspects of wedding planning. The Sunk Cost Fallacy is the idea that because you spent time and mney on something, it is better to see it through to the end, instead of quitting when you realize its not working.
When you are working on a project and it simply isn’t working, don’t keep pouring time and resources into it. Those resources and time could be used to work on a different project that you will LOVE!
I told you those ideologies are complete opposites, but they are both really great to keep in your mind and balance between while working on your DIY projects.
No matter what you decide to DIY or not DIY your wedding will be beautiful and unique because it is yours! I’d love to hear all about your projects and just generally how wedding planning is going! Shoot me an email at theweddingplannerla@gmail.com to let me know how the process is going for you!