Wedding Vocabulary A-Z

Like any industry, the wedding industry has its own unique vocabulary that may seem commonplace to anyone on the inside, but to the many, many that just pop in for a short stint to plan their own wedding is a whole new world! Honestly, wedding planning should really come with a glossary… so we made you one! With our wedding vocabulary glossary you won’t feel left in the dark, in fact, you’ll be speaking the wedding lingo like a pro in no time!

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A

Aisle- located between two clusters of seating where the guests will sit during the wedding ceremony, the aisle is the walking space between for the bride, groom, wedding party, and family members that leads to the altar where the ceremony will take place

Aisle runner- a covering, usually cloth or paper, expanding down the length of the aisle. The aisle runner is typically a rug, smother of flower petals, or roll of paper.

Altar- a backdrop for a religious wedding ceremony, typically made of candles, murals, floral arrangements, and/or a podium 

Appliqué- a piece of ornate fabric, usually lace, sewn into another fabric to create texture and dimension 

Arbor- and arch typically made of a collection of sticks, serves as a space for couples to be married under during outdoor wedding ceremonies

B

Bachelor party- a gathering of the groom-to-be’s closest friends to celebrate their friendship and his upcoming marriage (also called a “Buck’s night”)

Bachelorette party- a gathering of the bride-to-be’s closest friends to celebrate their friendship and her upcoming marriage (also called a “Hen’s night”)

Best man- the groom’s right-hand person, typically their closest friend or family member. This person is asked to stand beside the groom in support on his wedding day and assist with any wedding needs both prior to and on the day of the wedding

Black tie- a dress code in which all of the men wear formal tuxedos and the ladies wear floor length gowns

Black tie optional- a dress code in which men have the option to wear formal tuxedos, but a nice business suit is also acceptable

Bridal bouquet- a collection of flowers tied together, usually with a ribbon, intended for the bride to hold as she walks down the aisle to the wedding ceremony. The flowers symbolize happiness and satisfaction in marriage; the ribbon symbolizes fellowship and strength through community

Bridal shower- a party thrown for a bride-to-be where the guests are expected to “shower” the bride-to-be with gifts

Bride- a woman (or person who identifies as such) who is getting married

Bridesmaid- a close friend or relative of the bride who offers support throughout the wedding planning process and on the wedding day

Bridesmaid bouquet- a collection of flowers tied together intended to be held throughout the wedding ceremony by a bridesmaid

Boutonniere- a flower or small collection of flowers that is pinned to a suit jacket lapel for special occasions (like weddings)

Bouquet- a collection of flowers tied together intended to be held by a bride and/or bridesmaids as a symbol of happiness and good luck for the marriage

Bouquet toss- a tradition that usually occurs during the wedding reception where the single ladies in attendance gather and the bride tosses the bouquet into the crowd. The person who catches the bouquet is said to be married next

Buck’s night- a gathering of the groom-to-be’s closest friends to celebrate their friendship and his upcoming marriage (also called a “bachelor party”)

Buffet- a variety of dishes displayed on tables that guests can create their own plates from. This is a more casual form of serving food

Bustle- the process of pinning or buttoning the train of the bride’s dress higher on her dress to increase her mobility and function

Buttercream- a cake frosting made of whipped butter and sugar. Though it is generally found to be more delicious than fondant, it is known to quickly melt in heat

C

Cake cutting- a tradition that typically occurs during the wedding reception where the bride and groom cut their wedding cake together and take turns feeding the cake to each other

Calligraphy- an artful type of script writing known to convey elegance, often used on wedding invitations

Casual dress- a dress code that allows guests to wear whatever they would like, though dresses and button down shirts are typically still expected

Caterer- a wedding vendor that provides food for the guests. This service can be hired independently or provided through the reception venue

Cathedral- a Christian place of worship that is the seat of a Bishop

Celebrant- a person who is legally authorized to perform, or officiate, a wedding ceremony (also called “officiant”)

Centerpiece- an object placed in the center of a table intended for decorative purposes

Ceremony rehearsal- a practice run of the wedding ceremony, typically held a day or two prior to the wedding, usually followed by a rehearsal dinner

Chapel- a space, other than a courtroom and usually other than a church, where wedding ceremonies regularly take place

Charger- a large, decorative plate that goes beneath a dinner plate

Chuppah- used for Jewish wedding ceremonies, this is a 4 post canopy with fabric draped or stretched around the outside, beneath which a couple is married

Cocktail attire- a dress code that balances between black tie optional and business attire. Men are expected to wear afternoon suits and women are expected to wear nice dresses that are less formal than evening gowns but more formal than sundresses, suits, or skirts with a blazer. 

Cocktail hour- an “hour” directly following the wedding ceremony where guests gather to mingle, eat appetizers, and enjoy alcoholic beverages. Typically during this time the bride, groom, wedding party, and immediate family take pictures

Corsage- a small bouquet of flowers that can be worn on the wrist like a bracelet or pinned to clothes, typically worn by the matriarchs of a family, though on rare occasions bridesmaids will wear them

Cummerbund- a wide waist sash worn with double-breasted tail coats or tuxedos

D

Day of coordinator- a person hired to make sure the wedding plans are carried out. They typically act as the liaison between the timeline, vendors, and wedding party to ensure everyone is in the correct place at the allotted time doing the planned event. They will manage the vendors, communicate with the wedding party, and oversee the evening.

Destination wedding- a wedding taking place at a location where the couple and/or majority of guests must make travel arrangements in order to attend

Dress code- a specification of attire that guests are asked to adhere to

E

Engagement- the relationship between two people who intend to be married. It is also known as the time between a marriage proposal and a wedding

Engagement party- a party held to celebrate a recent engagement. Also serves as an opportunity to introduce members of the merging families and other wedding guests

Engagement pictures- typically a professional photograph, or series of photographs, taken to use for wedding announcements, wedding websites, social media, and/or decorate the wedding reception

Engagement ring- a gift given by one spouse when asking if the other will marry them, it serves as a symbol that the person wearing the ring is to be married

Escort card- a small card that lists a guest's name and their table number for the wedding reception. These are usually placed on a table together where guests will find them before moving to their assigned table

F

Family style- a food serving style where large serving dishes of food are placed on each individual table. The guests are expected to serve themselves and pass the serving trays around the table

Father of the bride (FOB)- just as it sounds, this is the father of the bride. FOB is a typical abbreviation used by wedding vendors and will commonly appear on timelines or other documents created by wedding professionals

Father of the groom (FOG)- just as it sounds, this is the father of the groom. FOG is a typical abbreviation used by wedding vendors and will commonly appear on timelines or other documents created by wedding professionals

Father/daughter dance- a traditional dance between the bride and her father to a meaningful song. It is intended as a celebration of their relationship. Typically no other guests will be on the dance floor, though occasionally the pair will request for other father/daughter couples to join them on the dance floor halfway through the song (See “How to Create a Timeline” for suggestions on timing this event)

Favors- a small gift from the newly weds to the guests to show their appreciation for the guests’ attendance; souvenirs for guests to take as they depart from the wedding

Fiancé (or Fiancee)- a person who is engaged to be married

First dance- typically occurring at the beginning of the wedding reception, this is the first dance that the newly weds will share as a married couple. (See “How to Create a Timeline” for suggestions on timing this event)

Floral arrangement- a collection of flowers specifically and artfully pieced together (See “All Things Wedding Florist” for more information) 

Flower girl- a young girl who walks down the aisle before the bride, she will typically scatter flower petals as she walks

Fondant- a smooth cake icing that is rolled out over a cake to give it a smooth appearance

Formal attire- a dress code that is between cocktail attire and black-tie. Feminine attire includes a nice short or long dress made of higher end material, pantsuit, or skirt and blazer. Masculine attire includes a dark suit, tie or bowtie, and white shirt

G

Ganache- a combination of chocolate and heavy cream either used as icing or filling for a cake. They will also have additions like liqueur, vanilla, or fruit flavorings

Garlands- (1) also known as Mala in the Hindi language, used in Hindi weddings, flowers bunched together on a string and worn around the bride’s and groom’s neck (2) a lush leafy and/or flowery vine used as decor 

Garter- a piece of bridal lingerie worn around a bride’s upper thigh, under her wedding dress. Traditionally a groom will retrieve the garter and toss it into a crowd of single men (see “Garter Toss”)

Garter toss- after retrieving the garter, the groom will toss or sling-shot the garter into a group of single men that have gathered prior to the garter retrieval. The bachelor that catches the garter is said to be married next

Gift registry- a service provided by websites and/or retail stores for engaged couples to create lists of desired items they would like to receive as wedding gifts and communicate those wishes with their wedding guests

Gobo lighting- a light that shines through a projected image onto a solid surface such as a wall or floor. Typically for weddings couples will use a Gobo to project their monogrammed initials 

Golden hour- a time with optimum lighting for photographs that occurs twice a day, one during sunrise and once during sunset. Golden hour typically starts the first 30 minutes after sunrise, the final hour prior to true sunset, though most sunset photo shoots last about 30 minutes after sunset

Grand entrance- a presentation of the newly weds, often the bridal party is included and occasionally close family members are included. This typically occurs directly following cocktail hour and immediately preceding dinner

Grand exit- a formal send-off of the newly weds at the conclusion of the wedding reception. The grand entrance usually includes guests forming a tunnel of aisle for the newly weds to run through before getting into their exit vehicle

Groom- a man (or person who identifies as such) who is getting married

Grooms speech- the groom’s speech is usually made on behalf of himself and his new spouse to thank the guests for attending their wedding, acknowledge the continued support of friends and family, and appreciate his new spouse.

Groomsmen- an attendant to the groom that offers support throughout the wedding planning and wedding day; usually the groom’s closest friends and/or family members

Guest list- a list of individuals invited to a wedding. This list does not include anyone hired to work as a vendor on your wedding day (even if they are friends!)

H

Head table- a table at a wedding reception where the bride, groom, and their wedding party will sit to eat dinner. This table usually faces outwards towards the rest of the guests

Hen’s night- a gathering of the bride-to-be’s closest friends to celebrate their friendship and her upcoming marriage (also called a “bachelorette party”). Hen’s nights traditionally take place on the evening prior to the wedding, but with the rise in popularity of the bachelorette party, Hen’s nights have largely transitioned to earlier dates.

Honeymoon- a vacation taken by the bride and groom following their wedding 

Hosted bar- bar drinks available to guests prepaid for by the host(s) of a wedding

Hotel block- an agreement made between the host of a wedding and a hotel to guarantee a predetermined number of rooms at a predetermined rate are available to wedding guests

I

In house catering- catering services provided by a wedding reception venue

Installation- any display, decor, floral or otherwise, that has been placed specifically for a wedding

Invitation- a letter sent providing information and a request for attendance of the recipient to a wedding. The invitation should state the date of the event, address where the event is being held, time they should arrive, and any other pertinent information to your unique event (i.e. dress code, will food be served?, will there be dancing?, is there a wedding website where further information and/or a registry can be found, a map to find the specific location if venue is in a low internet-service area, etc.)

Invitation suite- all of the paper goods sent along with an invitation. This usually includes an RSVP card, meal card, directions to the wedding venue, and any other important information necessary to share with guests

J

Justice of the peace- a court judge with limited legal abilities, but whose abilities include performing marriage ceremonies

K

Ketubah- a Jewish marriage contract that outlines the responsibilities of the groom in relation to the bride

Kickback- an amount of money paid from one vendor to another for a client referral

L

Letterpress- a printing technique by which many copies are made by repeated direct impression of a raised inked surface against sheets or rolls of continuous paper

M

Maid of honor (MOH)- the bride’s right hand person, typically a close friend or family member who participates in the wedding ceremony processional, adjusts the bride’s dress once she arrives at the altar, holds the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony, and offers continued support throughout wedding planning and on the wedding day. The MAID of honor is an unmarried woman.

Master of Ceremonies (MC or Emcee)- A person who speaks through a microphone to provide information and entertainment to guests

Matron of honor- the bride’s right hand person, typically a close friend or family member who participates in the wedding ceremony processional, adjusts the bride’s dress once she arrives at the altar, holds the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony, and offers continued support throughout wedding planning and on the wedding day. The MATRON of honor is a married woman.

Meal card- a card included with the invitations where guests who plan to attend the wedding will specify what meal option they would like

Money dance- a dance where guests take turns offering the bride and groom money in exchange for a quick dance. The money offered is typically pinned to the bride and grooms clothing, though it is occasionally put into baskets, or someone, usually the bride’s mom or an aunt, will pin the money together to form crowns and/or capes for the bride and groom to wear

Mood board- a visual representation of the design vision and inspiration for a wedding. Also called an “inspiration board”

Mother of the bride (MOB)- just as it sounds, this is the mother of the bride. MOB is a typical abbreviation used by wedding vendors and will commonly appear on timelines or other documents created by wedding professionals

Mother of the groom (MOG)- just as it sounds, this is the mother of the groom. MOG is a typical abbreviation used by wedding vendors and will commonly appear on timelines or other documents created by wedding professionals

Mother/son dance- a traditional dance between the groom and his mother to a meaningful song. It is intended as a celebration of their relationship. Typically no other guests will be on the dance floor, though occasionally the pair will request for other mother/son couples to join them on the dance floor halfway through the song

N

Newlyweds- people who have just gotten married. The “newlywed” period begins immediately following the wedding ceremony and extends through the first year of marriage

O

Officiant- any person who performs the role of officiating a legal marriage ceremony (also called “Celebrant,” “Justice of the Peace,” or any religious leader) (See “All Things Wedding Officiant” for more details on this service, questions to ask a potential officiant, & how to proceed once a wedding officiant is booked)

Open bar- a bar serving alcoholic beverages paid for by the host(s) of the wedding

P

Palette- a collection of colors intended to be used in the wedding design (See “Design Building Guide” for more information and guidance on how to select the right color palette for you!)

Place cards- small pieces of paper listing a guests name, placed at their seat. Typically guests will find their name and designated table on a seating chart and upon arriving at their table will look for their place card to locate their exact seat. 

Plated dinner- dinner served to seated guests by wait staff. Typically their desired meal will have been specified on their meal card and communicated with the catering service staff prior to the wedding so no one will place orders directly on the wedding day

Place setting- a collection of plates, napkins, place cards, silverware, cups, and occasionally decorative touches at each guests seat

Plus one- an unspecified guest of a wedding guest. The “plus one” is up to the guest’s discretion. This is commonly allotted to guests who are single and/or may not be familiar with many other guests in attendance.

Photo booth- a vending machine or kiosk where guests can take pictures. The pictures are usually printed on strips for guests to take home or sent to them via text or email. Props are usually provided to encourage creativity 

Photographer- a professional hired to take pictures throughout the wedding day

Procession- a group of people formally walking down the aisle in a wedding ceremony, typically occurs after all of the guests are seated

Processional- the music played while a group of people (i.e. wedding party, parents or parental figures of the couple, etc.) walk down the aisle in a wedding ceremony

Q

Queen Anne neckline- a high collar in the back, with a dipped cut in the font usually in a V or U shape. Common wedding dress neckline.

R

Reception- a celebration following a marriage ceremony that typically includes food, drinks, and dancing or other entertainment.

Recessional- the part of a wedding ceremony where the wedding party exits the ceremony area

Rehearsal dinner- a dinner directly following the ceremony rehearsal, typically the guests include anyone who attended the ceremony rehearsal and their dates. This usually includes the wedding party and immediate family of bride(s) and/or groom(s)

Ring bearer- a young male child who participates in the wedding ceremony by bringing the rings to the altar

Ring box- a box containing the wedding rings and bands carried by the ring bearer

RSVP- an abbreviation of a french phrase “repondez s’il vous plait,” which in english means “please respond. When this is listed on an invitation it means the guests are expected to confirm or deny their attendance

RSVP card- a card included with the wedding invitation that guests can use to confirm or deny their attendance and mail back to the sender

S

Sample sale- an event where boutiques and wedding dress designers offer the dresses used in their showrooms for bride’s to try on designs or worn at fashion shows at deeply discounted rates

Save the date (STD)- an announcement sent to guests of the wedding date and city. This announcement is sent prior to the invitations. They are often sent once the date is solidified, but other important details are still unknown

Seating chart- a display listing table numbers or names and the guests assigned to each table

Semi-formal attire- a dress code requiring guests to wear something dressier than what they would wear to a business meeting, but less formal than a tuxedo or evening gown

Signature cocktail- a cocktail selected by the bride(s) and/or groom(s) for guests to drink. Often used when the reception bar is limited

Speeches- an address given by important family or friends of the bride(s) and/or groom(s) usually providing well wishes or fond memories with the couple (also called “Toasts”)

Suit- a formal three piece outfit composed of dress pants, formal jacket, and nice button up shirt. A suit is less formal than a tuxedo.

Sunset pictures- portraits taken of the bride(s) and/or groom(s) during sunset or “golden hour”

Sweetheart table- a special table for newlyweds to sit while eating dinner. This table is usually separated from the other guests, but allows guests a clear view of the couple and vice versa.

T

Table pictures- this is when the newlyweds walk around to the guest tables during dinner and take pictures with the entire table

Tablescape- a cohesive, intentional design of a table decor and place settings.

Toasts- an address given by important family or friends of the bride(s) and/or groom(s) usually providing well wishes or fond memories with the couple (also called “Speeches”)

Trial- a practice run of hair and makeup prior to the wedding day to ensure the hair and makeup teams are prepared with all materials to achieve the desired look, and to confirm the bride is happy with how her desired look translates to her personally

Train- the long back portion of a wedding dress that trails behind the wearer

Tray-passed appetizers- hors d'oeuvres served to guests by wait staff from trays as guests mingle

Trunk show- a special event in which a bridal salon features a particular designer's collection. The bride has a unique opportunity to view and try on wedding dresses straight off the runway before they are available in stores as well as styles from previous seasons

Tulle- a stiff, fine netting-like fabric often used for wedding dresses and veils 

Tuxedo- a formal three-five outfit composed of dress pants, matching formal dinner jacket, button up shirt, cummberbund, and tie. 

U

Usher- a designated person to escort guests to their seats prior to and during a wedding ceremony

V

Veil- a piece of fabric worn in the brides hair that compliments her dress

Vendor- a professional hired to take care of a specific aspect of the wedding event. Examples of vendors include caterers, wedding planners, rental companies, florists, etc.

Venue- a location that either or both the wedding ceremony and/or reception will take place

Venue walk through- a visit to your wedding venue to map out the day-of plan on site. Typically a venue representative, the couple, their planner, photographer, caterer, and rental company are in attendance.

Videographer- a wedding vendor hired to film the wedding (For more information on this service, the styles of videography, what is common in videography packages, questions to ask a videographer, and what to expect after booking a wedding videographer, check out our blog “All Things Wedding Videography”)

Vows- an exchange of promises between the bride(s) and/or groom(s) during the wedding ceremony 

Votives- small candles usually used to accent wedding decor. These candles are larger than tea candles, but smaller and shorter than candle sticks

W

Wedding band- (1) a ring exchanged during the ceremony symbolizing matrimony (2) a group of performers intended to provide musical entertainment during a wedding reception

Wedding ceremony- a legal and/or religious union of two or more people committing their lives

Wedding coordinator- a person hired to make sure the wedding plans are carried out. They typically will manage the vendors, communicate with the wedding party, and manage the timeline (see also “Day-of coordinator”) (For a complete description of this role, questions to ask potential coordinators, & what to expect after booking a wedding coordinator, visit “32 Questions to ask a Wedding Coordinator”)

Wedding dress- a dress worn by a bride at her wedding 

Wedding planner- a hired professional who plans and organizes weddings (For more information on the role of a wedding planner, questions to ask a wedding planner prior to booking, and what to expect after booking a wedding planner, check out our blog “Questions to ask a Wedding Planner”)

Wedding website- an online platform specific to a wedding where guests can find important information regarding that wedding

Welcome bag- a collection of useful items gifted to wedding guests upon their arrival to a hotel block. This bag usually includes items relevant to the couple, the wedding, and/or the city the guests are staying in

White glove service- a premium service that is expected to be carried out with the utmost attention to detail and care

Y

Yuchid- a Jewish tradition immediately following a wedding ceremony intended to seclude the bride and groom offering them a moment in private

Preparing and Planning Your Wedding Ceremony

Your wedding ceremony is the start to your married life. This is what guests are here to celebrate! Follow this guide to make sure your ceremony is the perfect beginning to your wedding celebration and life as a married couple!

This guide is divided into 3 sections:

1. Writing your wedding ceremony

2. Walking order for the ceremony

3. A series of Pro-tips on things to consider when planning your ceremony

Writing your wedding ceremony

Typically the person officiating your wedding will prepare the wedding ceremony, but there are plenty of reasons you may need to create your own. When it comes to writing a wedding ceremony, there are very few rules. The only piece you absolutely need is an exchange of some sort of committal statement that both parties involved in the marriage recite. This is the “Do you X, take X to be your lawfully wedded...“ part of the ceremony. Even this part can be customized, but there are a few basic sentiments that need to be included.The rest is completely up to you! 

A standard flow to a wedding ceremony is as follows:

1. Guests asked to take their seats (usually about 5-10 minutes prior to the ceremony start time, depending on how many guests you are expecting)

2. Everyone participating in the ceremony is lined up (usually this includes the wedding party, immediate family, flower girl, ring bearer, bride(s), and/or groom(s)- (the order everyone walks in will be discussed in the next section of this guide).

3. The processional starts (this is the music that everyone will walk down the aisle to) and everyone enters in their pre-discussed order to their predetermined locations

4. Everyone except the bride and her escort(s) (if she chooses to have any) are in their places, whether it be seats or at the altar

5. The bride and her escort(s) walk down the aisle

6. The officiant welcomes & thanks everyone in attendance

7. (in a religious ceremony) the officiant leads a prayer.

8. The officiant introduces themself & describes their significance in the ceremony (they may describe their friendship with the bride(s) and/or groom(s), their role as a religious leader, what qualifies them to lead this ceremony, etc.)

9. The officiant tells a personal anecdote about the bride(s) and/or groom(s) (This can be anything! Sometimes it is a story of how the couple met, a description of a common theme throughout their relationship, a funny story they shared with the officiant, etc.)

10. Words of wisdom are offered to the couple (this can either be advice coming directly from the officiant, a reading- religious or other- by a friend or family member, or a meaningful song either played or performed live by a musician or friend/family member, etc.)

11. Special ceremonies typically occur next if they occur at all (i.e. sand ceremony, cord ceremony, candle lighting ceremony, glass ceremony, etc.)

12. The couple will exchange vows (this can be standard vows or personal vows prepared by the couple)

13. The couple exchanges rings (this is the “I Do’s” part!)

14. Final closing thoughts from the officiant (this can be a closing prayer, well wishes to the couple, etc.)

15. The pronouncement of the marriage (“I now pronounce you…”) 

16. The kiss

17. The recessional music begins (exit song) and the couple exits together

18. Once the couple is all the way back up the aisle the bridal party follows them

19. Following the bridal party’s exit, the ushers will escort immediate family members up the aisle

20. Once all family members are back up the aisle, the officiant announces that guests are released and gives direction on what to do next (head to cocktail hour, leave for the reception venue, pose for a group picture, etc.)

While this is a common ceremony flow, you can choose to rearrange this however you want. Certain religions will have additional traditions incorporated throughout the ceremony. Some people will choose to have multiple readings and/or performances spread out throughout their ceremony while other couples choose to exclude many pieces listed here. As long as you exchange promises in some sort of ceremonial format, the marriage is legal and the rest is up to you!

Walking order for the ceremony

Depending on how formal your wedding is, how extensive the guest list is, your relationship with your family members, and who you each choose to escort you down the aisle (if you choose to have anyone at all), your ceremony walking order can be anything! Some couples choose to only have themselves walk down the aisle, others choose to include all of their “VIP” guests. Plenty of people choose to have something in between. There are no wrong answers as long as you, your fiance, and the officiant end up at the altar!

The most standard walking order is as follows:

Entrance (procession)-

1. All guests seated

2. Immediate family like grandparents, parents of the bride(s) and/or groom(s) who won’t be escorting their to-be-married child down the aisle, and siblings who aren’t in the bridal party walk first (typically the siblings who aren’t in the bridal party will escort the parents who aren’t walking their to-be-married child down the aisle.) If any of these people need assistance walking or don’t wish to walk alone, you can assign ushers to escort them to their seats.

3. Officiant

4. Groom & mother (or Bride #1 and escort)

5. Bridesmaids and groomsmen

6. Maid/Matron of Honor & Best Man

7. Flower girl & ring bearer (depending on how many of each you have, they may walk together or separately)

8. Bride & father (or Groom #2 and escort)

Exit (recession)-

1. Newly weds

2. Wedding party in the reverse order from which they entered (after newly weds have completely exitted)

3. Immediate family with ushers/escorts

4. Officiant & guests (after the officiant makes an announcement for guests to leave)

A series of Pro-Tips on things to consider when planning your ceremony

1. List the guest arrival time on your wedding invitations 30 minutes prior to the actual ceremony start time. Some guests are punctual, others not so much. Don’t risk latecomers walking in during your ceremony and causing a disruption. If you are worried about the punctual guests being punished for being on time, a simple solution is to prepare some entertainment! Have music already playing to create some atmosphere and provide water, alcoholic drinks, snacks, games, a guest book, etc. to entertain them!

2. Write your vows down! No matter how much you practice or how confident you are in your memorization skills, write them out and keep a copy handy. When the time comes, you may not need them at all, but it is always better to be safe than sorry!

3. Write your vows on notecards. Writing vows on a phone or large piece of paper is a recipe for distraction. Keeping track of a phone before the ceremony is not fun. Other notifications may be distracting when it comes time to pull your phone out. Also, with a phone getting to the vows may be a little difficult! Nerves tend to make for shaky hands which is incredibly apparent if you brought a large, floppy piece of paper. A side effect of trembling paper is becoming hyper aware of how nervous you are when you see the page shake, which can make you more nervous! Even if nerves don’t get to you, wind might! A large piece of paper blowing around in the breeze can create a crinkling noise that is easily picked up by a microphone. Another downside to large sheets of paper is how easy it is to lose your place when reading from them. Big pages are a no no! Notecards allow you the opportunity to write big enough to keep your place, minimize distractions, and avoid obviously trembling.

4. Write two copies of your vows and hand a backup copy to someone responsible. With so much going on the morning of your wedding, forgetting something as small in size but incredibly vital as your wedding vows can happen. Prepare a back up copy and give it to the officiant, wedding planner, or member of the bridal party just in case!

5. Save your family seats. Most guests know not to sit in the front few rows of your ceremony space, but there is always one or two who don’t think about it. Make sure the people who matter most have a clear view from a front row seat! This can be done either by having reserved seat signs placed on their designated chairs, or tying a ribbon with a reserved sign across the chairs intended for family. Have your wedding planner or day-of coordinator keep an eye on those seats prior to the ceremony just in case any guests miss the memo!

6. Let your family know where they are supposed to sit. Even if you aren’t designating “mine and yours” sides for guests to sit during the ceremony, designate sides for the immediate family members, especially if they are walking down the aisle! This will expedite the seating process for them and alleviate any confusion once they reach the front of the ceremony area. Make sure to let them know during ceremony rehearsal where they are supposed to sit!

7. Consider the ceremony space and assign sides for family members accordingly. In some spaces, if your family sits on the side that you stand they won’t be able to see your face! If this is the case, have them sit on the opposite side so they get a clear view of all those beautiful emotions you are going through!

8. Talk with your wedding party about where and how to stand throughout the ceremony. This is what rehearsals are for! Well, not just this, but this should definitely be discussed during the rehearsal! Let your wedding party know where to stand, what angle to stand, where to hold bouquets (belly button height), etc. so the guests have a clear view and the pictures look uniform and beautiful!

9. Talk with the Maid/Matron of honor about adjusting the bride once she gets to the altar. The maid/matron of honor will need to fluff the bride’s dress once she settles into her standing space for the ceremony. She will also need to retrieve the bride’s bouquet when it comes time to exchange vows and rings! If there is a veil, the maid/matron of honor can also adjust this so the bride looks polished and photo ready throughout the ceremony. This is another great thing to address while running through the ceremony rehearsal!

10. Make sure the MC or officiant makes an announcement for guests to sit close. If you have a large ceremony area that will accommodate a guest list much larger than yours, have all of the guests move in closer prior to the ceremony starting. Not only will this give everyone a better view, it will also translate to pictures better!

11. Some venues have restrictions on where your photographer can take pictures from. To avoid any last minute surprises, talk with your venue about any rules and restrictions they have in regards to photography. Typically only certain religious places of worship (and even then, usually only during certain times of year) are likely to have restrictions on photography.

12. Your officiant will be in a lot of your ceremony pictures, so their attire is important. Not only will they be in a lot of pictures, but they will stand front and center for all guests to see! Make sure they plan to wear something professional yet simple so they don’t take too much attention away from you.

13. Your officiant needs to MOVE IT when it comes time for the kiss. Communicate with your officiant about quickly sliding to the side, and taking their microphone stand with them, when it comes time for the kiss and your exit from the ceremony. 

14. Make sure whoever is in charge of your music knows all of the important cues. Discuss prior to your wedding day with the person who will be in charge of ceremony music. Let them know the signal for changing the processional songs and let them know the very last thing the officiant will say so they can use this as a cue for playing the recessional song.

15. Let your family and ushers know the exit strategy. Some pairs will need to change so  everyone needs to know who they will enter and exit with. They will also need to know when they are supposed to leave. Occasionally the officiant will dismiss the family, but usually the family begins exiting without a formal prompt following the ceremony.

16. Make sure someone is lined up to make two very important announcements to guests. Guests need to be asked to take their seats and released at the end of the ceremony by someone! This can either be the officiant or the MC. Make sure the person knows they are in charge of making this announcement, when to make the announcements, and is ready to provide clear instructions on where guests should go next.

17. Have a game plan for yourself after the ceremony. A common oversight is a predetermined space for the newly weds and wedding party to retreat to after the ceremony concludes. Map out a space beforehand so everyone knows the plan!

18. Set some time aside for yourselves directly following the ceremony. After the ceremony, if possible, carve out 5-15 minutes and a secluded space where just you and your new husband or wife can be alone to process the ceremony together. The rest of the day will be a whirlwind so giving yourself the gift of peace and quiet for even just a few moments makes a big difference in how you remember the ceremony! 

19. Ask your wedding planner, bartender, and/or caterer to have some snacks set aside for you in your hideaway space. Typically wedding party portraits and/or family portraits directly follow the ceremony, which leave you with little to no time to snack and have a drink. Ask your vendors to prepare something for you to enjoy while you take your 5-15 minute processing time so you can keep your energy level up! Make sure they give you some water, too!

All Things Wedding Officiant

A wedding ceremony is, in many ways, the single most important piece to a wedding. This is what brings all of your friends and family together to celebrate! When you become engaged you are agreeing to make a commitment through a marriage ceremony.  Agreeing to make this ceremonial commitment is the catalyst that inspires all of the additional pretty, fun, and functional aspects to your wedding day.  It is important to find an officiant that will preform a ceremony that aligns with your vision, values, and beliefs. Since the officiant will lead your wedding ceremony, and is typically in charge of writing the ceremony, this person will play a pivotal role in getting your marriage started on the right foot. Follow this guide to feel confident in the person you select to officiate your wedding!

This guide is divided into 3 sections:

1. Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding officiant

2. Questions to ask an officiant prior to booking

3. Ways to maximize your officiant’s services

Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding officiant

1. Officiants are called many things. A wedding officiant is any legally certified person delivering a wedding ceremony. This can be a religious leader, non-denominational ordained professional, or an ordained friend. Some of the most common names for officiants are:

   1. Officiant

   2. Celebrant

   3. Justice of the Peace

   4. Any religious leader (i.e. Priest, Rabbi, Preacher, Pastor, Swami, Minister, etc.)

2. Any person can officiate your wedding, but they must be ordained in order to legally marry you. Whoever is delivering your wedding ceremony must be ordained prior to your wedding ceremony, in order for your marriage to be legal. Becoming ordained online is easy and FREE! This is awesome news if you want a friend or family member to officiate your wedding! It is also a great reason to properly vet any person claiming to be a professional. Since it is so simple to obtain certification to legally perform marriages, essentially anyone can provide this service. Be sure to read reviews, gather samples of their work, have a clear understanding of the exact services they will provide, and ensure your personalities mesh well before hiring a professional wedding officiant.

3. Certain places of worship will require you to use their religious leader. If you find a chapel other than your usual place of worship, you may have to use their in-house worship leader to perform your ceremony. This is typically only an issue if you are hosting your wedding out of town and wish to fly your own religious leader in for your wedding. Confirm with your chapel prior to booking that this is okay! If you intend to be married at a place of worship, confirm with them their policies on outside vendors, prior to booking your officiant to avoid potentially loosing a deposit.

4. Certain religious leaders require both parties involved in the marriage be officially baptized (or the equivalent) into their faith. Most couples who come across this issue are already aware of this prior to becoming engaged. A couple important things to note on this topic:

   1. Just because some or most religious leaders of a certain faith require this, doesn’t mean that all leaders in your faith will. Finding someone who will do this may prove a challenge for certain religions, but they are out there!

   2. (Take or leave this point as you see fit…) If your fiance is uncomfortable changing religions, it isn’t a great idea to pressure them into switching. You are agreeing to marry this person because you love them for who they already are (and vice versa!). Their religious beliefs (or lack thereof) are a huge piece of who they are- so to change this, is to change them. If this proves to be a huge hinderance on wedding planning, seek the professional guidance of a marriage counselor whose services are rooted in any faith (especially neither of your own) for some unbiased support as you navigate this delicate territory.

   3. Sometimes neither of the engaged parties will really care about each other’s religious beliefs, but family members will. The best advice on this is to make your family feel heard by addressing their reasoning for wanting you to have certain religious aspects incorporated into your wedding, but ultimately remember and remind them that it is YOUR wedding and YOUR commitment, NOT your family’s. For more advice on this incredibly touchy subject, reference the “Managing Outside Opinions Surrounding Your Wedding” guide.

5. Certain religious leaders require you to take premarital counseling or classes with them prior to your wedding. Premarital counseling or classes are not a bad thing! They provide the opportunity to gauge how “on the same page” you and your fiance are by encouraging you to discuss your visions and plans for some of life’s common and major milestones prior to making a major commitment. However, you may not find counseling or classes necessary in your unique situation and these services almost always cost additional money. Check with your potential officiant for their policies and rates for these services. If your officiant doesn’t require premarital counseling or classes, you may still want to consider doing this! There are plenty of professionals out there offering premarital counseling completely separate from officiating services.

6. Most wedding ceremonies are customized by the officiant based on the couple they are intended for. The officiant will write your wedding ceremony. Many couples, especially those opting out of full religious ceremonies, will choose to write their own wedding vows. Aside from the vows, the officiant will plan the rest of the speaking. They usually include a little background on themselves, why they were chosen to officiate (i.e. “I’ve been a close friend…,” “I have been X’s Rabbi since they were little…” etc.), an anecdote about the couple, and some words of wisdom to the couple. Make sure you find someone who is going to write a beautiful ceremony that will put you and your guests in the right mindset for commitment!

7. You will likely watch the video of your ceremony many times throughout your life, make sure you find an officiant you want to hear over, and over again! Aside from the ceremony itself, make sure that you like your officiant's voice, speaking style, level of formality, and ceremony delivery style. You can do this by requesting sample videos from previous ceremonies! If you choose to have a friend or family member officiate, they don’t necessarily need to write the ceremony in its entirety. However, you probably won’t want to hear the whole ceremony prior to the wedding (the element of surprise in the moment makes the ceremony fun and extra special!). You can get around this by writing a decent portion of the ceremony, but leaving a section in the beginning blank for them to prepare something special. Alternatively, you can let them know specific things you’d like included (or left out!) to help guide their ceremony creation process. For example, if you love a particular quote or want special readings done you can ask them to include these in the ceremony.

8. If you choose a friend or family member to officiate, choose wisely! Choosing a significant person in your life to lead your wedding ceremony is a great way to add a level of personalization to your wedding. This is also a great way to save money, since becoming ordained online is free! If you are exploring the possibility of asking a friend or family member to officiant your wedding, there are a few key characteristics to consider before signing them up.

   1. Find a person that is close, but ideally not too close to either party being married. Being extremely close to one of the parties shouldn’t necessarily count out an individual as a possible officiant, but it does open the door for the person getting a little too emotional. A little emotion is great! It makes the ceremony that much more special! However, if you, your fiance, AND your officiant are all heavily crying throughout the ceremony you may need to take a lot of breaks and the ceremony may last longer than you anticipated. Alternatively, if you and your fiance aren’t big criers, having a blubbering officiant may seem out of place and alter the vibe you wanted for your ceremony. That being said, if a family member or very close friend is perfect in every other way and you’re confident they will have a very appropriate control over their emotions, they might just be the ideal person to lead your ceremony. In contrast, a person too emotionally distant from the couple may not take the role as seriously, may be unable to write a heartfelt and/or meaningful ceremony, and may not be in your lives down the road. A person in the sweet-spot will be close enough to be a constant presence throughout your lives, know enough to create a thoughtful and genuine ceremony, and be removed enough to keep the crying to a minimum.

   2. Are they a good public speaker? Think through how confident this person will be speaking in front of a crowd. Even if they are usually an outgoing and gregarious person, this won’t necessarily translate to public speaking. Does their job require them to speak publicly or give presentations? Do they have any experience speaking into a microphone? A few factors that will play into the overall success as a public speaker are experience, confidence, natural speaking volume, and meeting the perfect sweet spot in closeness to you.

   3. Will they respect the significance of the ceremony? Including a few jokes and taking a playful approach to delivering your wedding ceremony is totally fine, if that is what you want! However, there is a difference between keeping things light-hearted and playful vs. turning your wedding ceremony into a complete joke. You want to feel like you just made a meaningful commitment to one another at the end of your ceremony, not like you just were the butt of a joke.

   4. You want an officiant, not a character. This is an extension of the last point, but it is worth diving further into detail. Confidence and cockiness are two different things. When selecting an officiant, be hyperaware of the difference. If the person you are considering always seems to be “on” when around people, they are likely not the best person to officiate your wedding. Your wedding ceremony shouldn’t be an opportunity for your officiant to put on a show for the guests. If this person tends to be a “class clown” type, commands all of the attention when they walk into any room, or has an air of self-importance, you run the risk of them making your special moment about them, instead of about your love and commitment. Again, putting their own flavor, personality, and a level of playfulness into the ceremony is great! Taking advantage of a seated crowd and microphone access to practice their latest standup, is not so great.

   5. How likely is this person to adequately prepare for our wedding ceremony? If you have an individual in mind who is a great public speaker and will be respectful to the significance of the day, in theory they will adequately prepare. They will write a thoughtful and beautiful ceremony that matches your personalities and practice enough to deliver the ceremony like a true friend and professional! However, if you are considering someone with a notorious track record of procrastination, maybe keep searching.

   6. Make sure they are up for the task. Let them know what the job entails in-full, upfront before allowing them to commit. If you sense any hesitation, don’t pressure them! This is a big favor you are asking of someone, so if they don’t want to do it or they are worried about their ability to perform let them off the hook! Whenever you ask make sure they know they don’t have to officiate, but that you thought they would be a great and meaningful person for the job!

Questions to ask an officiant prior to booking

The basics-

1. Are you legally certified to marry people in my state? Through which institution did you receive your certificate?

2. Are you available on my date?

3. Can you work within my budget?

4. Do you require a deposit? How much?

5. When is the balance due?

6. What is your preferred method of payment?

7. What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?

8. What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?

9. What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?

10. What is the backup plan if you are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?

11. Are there any additional fees such as travel fees, delivery fees, etc. that are not included in the package price?

12. Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your staff and property?

Experience & style information-

1. How long have you been officiating weddings?

2. How many weddings do you typically officiate a weekend?

3. How many weddings do you typically officiate a year?

4. How do you identify religiously?

5. If you identify with a certain religion, how much of that religion is incorporated into the ceremonies you deliver? (Hint: Some non-denominational religious officiants will still incorporate mentions of God or prayers into the wedding ceremony. If this is something you’d like to minimize or avoid completely make sure they are willing to comply with this request!) 

6. If you don’t identify with any religion, can we still request a few mentions of God in our ceremony? (Hint: Some couples wishing to minimize mention of God, still want one or two references. If you find a non-religious officiant make sure that they are comfortable and willing to make this accommodation!)

The ceremony details-

1. Do you have a set ceremony script or will you customize our ceremony for us?

2. How do you create and customize our ceremony?

3. Are we allowed to have input in certain aspects of our ceremony? If so, how much input and on what aspects are we allowed to offer our opinions? (Hint: If you want any readings done by the officiant or a wedding guest, special ceremonies such as sand ceremony, glass ceremony, cord ceremony, etc., songs sung by friends or family, etc., be sure to confirm that the officiant is comfortable and willing to allow these things to happen!)

4. Can we write our own vows? Can you help us with this? If we decide we need support with our vows, how will you offer guidance?

5. How long do your ceremonies typically last? Can we shorten or extend this time if we were picturing something a little different?

6. When will you arrive on our wedding day?

7. What will you wear on our wedding day? (Hint: This person will be front and center for the duration of your ceremony, which makes them a focal point for your guests. They will also be in a lot of your ceremony pictures, so make sure their attire is something professional that won’t distract from you and your fiance!)

Pre-wedding access & requirements-

1. How many times will we meet before our wedding?

2. Will you attend our ceremony rehearsal?

3. Will you lead our ceremony rehearsal? (Hint: Oftentimes religious leaders of certain faiths prefer or require they lead ceremony rehearsals without any assistance from wedding coordinators or planners. If running the rehearsal is not included in your officiant’s services, your wedding planner or day-of coordinator will typically lead the ceremony rehearsal.)

4. Do you offer or require premarital counseling? Is there an additional fee for this service?

Ways to maximize your officiant’s services

1. Communicate your vision for the ceremony clearly. Whether you want long, short, deeply religious, no mention of religion, etc. let your officiant know! Be clear about your expectations so they can make adjustments accordingly.

2. Meet with your officiant and tell them a little about yourselves! In order for a ceremony to be personal, the officiant needs the opportunity to get to know you and your fiance. When you meet with your officiant, give them some details about how you met, some important chapters in your relationship’s history, and a good idea of who you are as individuals and a couple.

3. Do some research on your own into wedding ceremonies. Not only will this help you find things you want to incorporate into your own ceremony, but it will also give you an idea of things you don’t want included in your ceremony. Even if you don’t find anything you’d like included verbatim, you may find general ideas or even smaller ceremonies (i.e. sand ceremony, cord ceremony, glass ceremony, etc.) to incorporate into your overall ceremony. 

4. Write your vows and share them with your officiant. Some officiants will offer feedback on your wedding vows. If they do, take advantage of this service! Make sure your words are coherent and cohesive to a third party and will fit into the time you have chosen to allot for your overall ceremony. 

All Things Wedding Band

Music will set the mood throughout your wedding and have a huge impact on how you remember your day. When you book a Wedding Band, you are hiring more than just music, you are hiring a presence and personality! Your Wedding Band has the ability to make or break your wedding through their energy level, performance style, and song selection. Follow the guide below to ask the right questions, adequately prepare the band prior to your wedding, and feel overall confident in your Wedding Band selection.

This article is divided into 3 sections:

1. Things to consider about Wedding Bands prior to booking

2. Questions to ask a Wedding Band prior to booking

3. Maximizing your Wedding Band’s services

Things to consider about Wedding Bands prior to booking

1. Wedding Bands cost more than Wedding DJs. A wedding band is made up of multiple musicians who all are going to perform live for you and your guests. All of the members have an individual skill that they have spent years perfecting! They spend much more time preparing during rehearsals, provide and maintain more equipment, and require a more energetic performance than a DJ (no shade at all intended to DJs! Both types of wedding professionals bring A LOT to the table and well worth the money). Each band member will need to leave with a decent cut from the total amount they charge, so their rates are typically much higher than a Wedding DJ.

2. Weddings have diverse crowds; keep this in mind when selecting a band. Wedding guests range in age, background, and musical interests. A Wedding Band spends hours and hours practicing a set list of songs to perform in front of your guests. Unlike a DJ who has access to a vast music library, Wedding Bands are a little more limited on what songs they will be able to perform. Make sure the type of music and performance style the band gravitates towards will keep everyone engaged! 

3. Speciality music requires a speciality Wedding Band. If you are hosting a culture-specific wedding, it is imperative to only hire a band that is familiar with the music that is associated with this culture. If you want songs predominantly sung in a specific language, style, etc. make sure to find a band that is fluent in your culture’s language and specializes in your desired genre of music.

4. Gauge an MC’s style based on the conversation you have with them. When you talk to your band prior to booking them, pay close attention to the person who will be MCing. Listen to the cadence of their voice. Pay attention to their energy, word choice, and overall sound to their voice. This will provide a lot more insight into their MC style than any single question ever could.

5. Watch multiple videos of your band performing prior to booking. Don’t book a band without watching several demo videos first. Pay attention to performance style, crowd reactions, energy level, and crowd engagement.

6. Do more than read reviews, read into reviews. A company may have five stars across all review platforms, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are a good fit for you. This is true for all vendors! Look for trends in the reviews that can provide a little more insight into what this professional's work style is like. For example, if you see something to the effect of “they played all of the greatest disco hits and did a lot of funny celebrity impressions,” recurring throughout reviews, that person is probably going to perform similarly at your wedding. Other couples may have loved this and left five star reviews, but if the thought of listening to disco and celebrity impressions all night makes you cringe, that band isn’t going to be the right fit for you.

Questions to ask a Wedding Band prior to booking

BASICS-

1. Are you available on my date?

2. Can you work within my budget?

3. Do you require a deposit? How much?

4. When is the balance due?

5. What is your preferred method of payment?

6. What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?

7. What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?

8. What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?

9. What is the backup plan if you, or any of your band members, are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?

10. Are there any additional fees such as travel fees, delivery fees, etc. that are not included in the package price?

11. Are you licensed?

12. Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your band members and property?

EXPERIENCE-

1. How long have you been playing together?

2. Roughly how many weddings have you performed at? (Hint: less than 10 is scary! 50-100 is great! 100+ is ideal!)

3. What kind of genres do you heavily lean towards?

4. What is your MC style?

5. Have you worked at my venue before?

6. Do you have any videos of past performances I can watch? (Hint: Don’t book a band without watching several demo videos first.)

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8. What sets you apart from other Wedding Bands?

Details-

1. Do you provide an MC or will I need to book one separately? 

2. Do you offer a written contract for our event? (If they don’t, STEER CLEAR!)

3. If applicable, do you offer bilingual MCs and singers?

4. Can we add extra time on the night of our event if we aren’t ready for the party to end?

5. What is the rate for additional hours?

6. (If booking through a large company) Can we speak to our band directly prior to our wedding?

7. Do you provide any other services?- (Hint: bundling contracts can cave money since vendors often offer discounts if you book several services through them. Just make sure you like the details of the individual services offered and don’t settle in one area just for the sake of the bundle!)

8. How many events will the band perform at over the course of my wedding weekend?

9. How often do the band members take breaks? How will music still be played during this time? (Hint: Wedding Bands need breaks! They typically perform about 4-7 songs and then take a 10-15 minute break. Singing, performing, and maintaining a high level of energy all takes a lot of a person! In order for them to perform their best, the breaks will be necessary. For the sake of everyone else, make sure music will continue in some way, shape, or form during the band’s breaks.)

MUSIC-

1. How often do you add new songs to your repertoire?

2. Will I be able to make song requests/a playlist beforehand?

3. Is there a limit to how many song requests I can make?

4. Will I need to select all of the songs for the duration of the wedding or will you be making selections as well?

5. When will you need the final list of song requests by?

6. Can guests make requests on the day of my wedding?

7. Can I create a do-not play list?

8. Do you know both the clean and explicit versions of songs?

EQUIPMENT & LOGISTICS-

1. Do you provide your own sound system or will we need to book one separately?

2. Do you provide any microphones for us to use? If so, how many?

3. Do you provide a wireless microphone?

4. Will we be able to use your microphone for the ceremony and toasts?

5. Do you have a microphone stand for our ceremony?

6. Do you provide any dance floor lighting?

7. How is the dance floor lighting displayed?

8. Do you offer dance floor lighting upgrades?

9. How many sound systems come in your package? (Hint: a sound system is the audio equipment needed to play music in any particular area. This typically will include a set of speakers (1-2 speakers for ceremony/cocktail hour, 2+ speakers for dinner/dancing), microphone, amplifier, mixer, and dance floor lighting (where appropriate).)

10. How many speakers will you provide for dancing? (Hint: for most spaces, 2 professional quality speakers will be plenty. For especially large spaces, or venues with broken up layouts, additional speakers may be required. 1 speaker is almost never enough for the dance floor as it makes the music less dynamic.) 

Maximize your Wedding Band’s services

1. Create a Spotify playlist and add songs that you like as you think of them. Instead of attempting to create a playlist all at once, create a blank playlist early on in your wedding planning and add to it over time. Refine the list as your wedding approaches and send the polished version to your band. Be sure to allow ample time for the band to learn and practice your must have songs!

2. Specify which portion of your weddings you’d like certain songs on your playlist played. Your band will usually choose music that makes sense for each specific chunk of time (i.e. pre-ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, and dancing). However, if you provide one single request list that includes slow songs without any guidance on when to play them, the band may choose to perform those songs during dinner, when you actually intended them to be played during the dancing portion of the evening.

3. Specify whether you want clean or explicit versions of songs. Some people prefer to hear the explicit versions of songs. Some people choose to have only clean versions. Some people choose to have explicit versions, except for particularly raunchy songs. Let your band know what you prefer, so they can plan accordingly!

4. Create a do not play list. This is useful for several reasons. First, if your band doesn’t know that you dislike an artist or genre then you may end up listening to a few songs you just aren’t that into! Second, guests may request songs you don’t like that the band otherwise would not have performed. The do-not-play list will ensure the band knows what to avoid, even if a guest requests it.

5. Since band members will need to take breaks, prepare a playlist filled with upbeat dancing music to be played during the band intermissions. The band members are only human and will need breaks to avoid exhausting themselves. Create playlists to keep the party going during their breaks! They will usually allow you to play from their sound equipment, so with the right playlist the party won’t stop.  To avoid over playing any songs, make sure the songs on this playlist are not also requests you sent the band!

6. Go over all of the ceremony and reception details with your Wedding Band prior to your wedding. Most Wedding Bands will require a meeting prior to your wedding so they are able to do their job to the best of their ability. If your band doesn’t require a meeting, be sure to set one up yourself. Walk through the timeline and song requests with them to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

   Pro-tip: Send the timeline, special songs for the ceremony, special dances, etc., and the song request list prior to the meeting so the band has a chance to review the information and prepare any questions they may have. 

7. Book enough time so that no setup has to be done once guests are on site. Wedding Bands aren’t just important for dancing! Music sets the tone for all portions of the wedding! Think of when you go to a restaurant, if there was no music it would be a little awkward. Aside from creating ambience, choosing to only have the band present for dancing means they will be setting up their equipment and doing sound checks with their instruments while guests are trying to enjoy dinner.

8. Communicate every special or out-of-the-ordinary thing you have planned with the band. If you have choreographed a dance, let them know. If you have a surprise planned, let them know. If you have planned anything that is not standard, it is very important to let the band know ahead of time. Most professionals tend to be very accommodating and flexible, but there are certain things that will always go smoother if everyone is in the know!

9. Trust your band! You hired this Wedding Band for their experience and talent, so have some faith in them! A huge part of the band’s job is keeping guests engaged. In order to do this to the best of their ability, a little wiggle room on the music selection will go a long way!

All Things Wedding Photographer

You spend months planning and preparing for your big day, and then just like that it comes and goes. The pictures (and potentially video) are the only concrete things you will have left to remember all of the special little moments that flew by. Your wedding photographer is an investment in your memories! When it comes to booking a photographer there are so many things to consider in order to feel confident in your selection. Follow this guide to have a positive experience from start to finish with your wedding photographer!

This article is divided into 4 sections:

1. Things to consider about wedding photographers

2. Questions to ask a photographer prior to booking

3. What to do after booking to maximize the photographers services

4. An example photo shot list

Things to consider about wedding photographers

1. A wedding photographer is different from other photographers. Wedding photography requires a specific skill set that develops after working many weddings. They need to anticipate reactions, micro-events, and opportune moments for raw emotion. A professional wedding photographer has also mastered the skill of being in the right place at the right time, while avoiding stepping into the way of the bridal party or other professionals. They also are there to capture your emotion on a very important day. In order to do this properly, it takes a practiced eye! Wedding photographers also often are capturing individuals who aren’t used to being in front of a camera. Their experience helps make their clients feel comfortable expressing those incredible emotions in front of the camera and posing the couples who are a little camera shy!

2. There are a million photography and editing styles out there. Wedding photography looks so different from photographer to photographer. Before diving into your photographer search, be sure to do a little research into the various styles. This will help direct your search and guide your selection process.

3. Check for photo clarity when browsing albums. No matter what style of photography you are drawn to, check for photo clarity. This offers insight not only into skill and experience level, but also quality of equipment! Photo clarity is a good sign of a highly experienced, skilled individual working with great equipment! There are plenty of opportunities for action shots and of course those may be a little less clear than the still photos, but there should still be a general consistency of clarity amongst their photos. 

4. Make sure your contract protects you. This is true for all vendors, but it is especially common to find vague or ambiguous wording in photography contracts. Time frames for photo return, a minimum amount of deliverable photos, and additional costs (should you choose to add a service later) should be specifically outlined in your contract. If you love a photographer and find that this information is missing from their contract, ask for it to be added! If they refuse to add in concrete deliverable information, this is a pretty big warning sign that they aren’t confident in the promises they are making! 

5. Be mindful when negotiating pricing. Providing and valuing a service is a daunting task for an artistic professional. These professionals spend years perfecting their craft and adjust their pricing based on their ever evolving skill level and demand for service. If you fall in love with a vendor who is out of your price range, it never hurts to ask if they can accommodate your budget. The key here though is asking and understanding if they aren’t able to make this accommodation. 

6. Always look through a few full albums before booking. Everyone wants to put their best foot forward, so the photographs included on each professional's website is going to be what they consider to accurately and positively reflect their work. Occasionally,  photographers will link a full album or two on their website, but more often than not they will include just the highlights. There is nothing wrong with only including the highlights on their website! There is plenty of reason to do so! Typically you can find at least anywhere from 15-50 photos from past weddings on photographers’ websites to give an example of their work and hopefully entice you enough to reach out. However, 15-50 particularly gorgeous photos are not enough to gauge the consistency of quality in their work. Request a few full albums to peruse (they will almost always happily provide these- if they don’t, be concerned!). Look through the full albums to make sure they are consistent with the quality they exemplify on their website!

7. Talk to the professional either in person or on the phone prior to booking. This is true for all vendors, but especially important with your photographer. Your photographer will be spending the entire day with you, so it is very important to find someone whose personality meshes with yours.

8. Understand the difference between posed photos and authentic moments. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to capturing authentic moments vs. posed photos, but there is value in understanding the difference as a consumer. If you like being told how and where to stand, that is totally fine! Just be sure that you find a photographer who has experience doing this! If you prefer minimal or no posed photos, look for raw emotion and authentic moments captured in the full albums! Typically wedding photographers will favor one of these styles over the other, but include at least a little of both in your wedding photos.

9. The price you pay is not just for your wedding day. Photographers spend a lot of time on their clients. They dedicate time prior to the wedding to study your personalities, timeline, and shot list in order to be fully prepared to capture your day. After the wedding, they pour hours of time and energy into sifting through thousands of photos, finding the very best shots, and editing accordingly. They also invest a lot of money back into maintaining and upgrading their equipment to ensure they are providing the best service possible. Take all of this into consideration when discussing price! Depending on the professional and your wedding day timeline, they will have often spent upwards of 40 hours working on your wedding! Above all else, you are paying for an accurate representation of how the day unfolded so you can reminisce for years to come!

Questions to ask prior to booking a photographer

Pro-tip: Not all of these questions will be necessary in every situation. Some may not be applicable to you and a lot of this may be answered on your photographer’s website or pricing menu. Be sure to carefully select the questions that are relevant to your unique situation to avoid overwhelming yourself and the photographer with too much information!

Package Insight-

1. Are you available on my date?

2. Does your package include a second photographer? If I’d like to add a second (or third!) shooter, what is the cost for an additional shooter?

3. How many hours are included in your package?

4. What do you charge for additional hours?

5. Does your wedding package include an engagement session? If not, what is the cost of booking this separately?

6. How many edited photos can I expect back from my engagement session?

7. How many edited photos can I expect back from my wedding?

8. Do you provide “sneak peeks” for either the engagement session and/or the wedding?

9. If so, how many typically are provided in the “sneak peek” for each?

10. What is the turnaround time for my “sneak peek” photos?

11. What is the turnaround time for my full wedding album?

12. Will I have access to the raw photos?

13. How do you deliver the photos?

14. Will the images be accessible online? For how long?

15. Will the online photo gallery be shareable so I can give my friends and family access?

16. Are albums or prints included in your package? How many pages or prints are included? Will you be selecting the photos in the album or will we? What is the turnaround time?

17. If prints and/or albums are not included in your package, do we have the option to order them directly from you at an additional cost? If so, what is the additional cost?

18. Do you retain any of the rights to the photos?

19. What do the rights you retain mean for me?

20. Will you be posting any of our photos on your website and social media? 

21. Will you need our separate permission to submit the photos to any third party publication or will you already have those rights according to the contract?

22. Do you charge a travel fee? If so, how much and for what distance?

Experience-

1. How long have you been a professional photographer?

2. How long have you been a wedding photographer?

3. How many weddings have you photographed?

4. How many weddings do you typically have in a single weekend?

5. Have you worked at my venue before? If not, will you attend a venue walk through to scout out ideal photo locations?

6. Can we see a few recent full wedding galleries? (Hint: ask to see at least 2-3 full albums and take a really good look through them!)

Style-

1. How would you describe your photography style?

2. How do you describe your working style? Are you in the background capturing the events unfolding around you? Are you more active in posing people?

3. What kind of camera do you use?

4. How will you and your team dress? (Hint: keep in mind that your photographer will be doing a lot of moving around, so while they should still dress appropriately for a wedding they typically don't dress as formally as the guests.)

5. Can we request a list of specific shots we would like?

6. How many photos do you typically capture throughout the course of a wedding day? (Hint: this is different from the amount of pictures returned according to your contract. This is the full amount they will be sifting through to choose which ones to edit. If the photographer gives you access to all of the raw photos, this number will be more relevant to you.)

7. Do you have experience working at indoor and/or outdoor venues and how do you compensate or play up the lighting?

Logistics-

1. When will we receive the contract?

2. How much do you require for a deposit? When is it due?

3. What is your payment schedule like? (I.e. When is the remaining balance due? Hint: most photographers take payments in 2-3 installments: 1st payment is the deposit, the remainder is due at varying times before the wedding. The exact payment schedule varies from photographer to photographer.)

4. What is your refund or cancellation policy if I cancel?

5. What is your refund or cancellation policy if you cancel?

6. Do you have liability insurance? Does it cover your second shooter and assistant(s), as well?

7. Do you carry backup equipment?

8. What is the backup plan if you are unable to personally work my wedding for any reason? Is this written into the contract?

9. Do you have experience working with a videographer? If so, how do you work with and around each other to ensure everyone is able to capture the important moments in full?

Bonuses-

1. Do you offer any additional services, like a photo booth or videography?

2. If you don’t personally offer videography, do you have a videographer you recommend?

3. Are you available to photograph any pre-wedding events (i.e. bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, engagement party, etc.)? If so, what are the rates for these?

Maximizing your photographer’s services

What to do after booking your wedding photographer

1. Schedule an engagement session. Engagement sessions are great for a few reasons. First, the photos they generate are great for save the dates, invitations, and your wedding website. Second, the engagement session is the perfect time to get to know your photographer a little bit better. Familiarity is comforting, and you want to be comfortable on your wedding day! Forming a foundational relationship with this professional during an engagement session is a great opportunity to become familiar with each other so you are comfortable spending your wedding day with them! Third, your engagement pictures will give you an idea of how your photographer’s style will translate to you. While the engagement pictures typically have a slightly different feel to them than the wedding photos, this is still the perfect chance to see how your photographer captures you (and make suggestions if necessary)!

2. Build your wedding day timeline and be sure to schedule adequate time to capture all of your desired shots. Photographers are usually happy to offer feedback on your timeline based on what you are expecting from the photos. If you want a lot of bridal party pictures, extended family pictures, sunset pictures, etc., you will need to allocate plenty of time to make sure you are setting the photographer up for success! If the timeline is tight you may have to cut your desired posed photo list down a bit or shift things to accommodate the desired photo list. 

3. Consider what photos you really want captured, and communicate this with the photographer. It is fairly common for couples to prepare a “shot-list” of desired photos they’d like. While it is nearly impossible to guarantee those exact moments will be captured (guest cooperation, guest availability, timing, etc. will affect the ability for these desired photos to be captured), providing a “shot-list” will certainly make it much more feasible! This list doesn’t have to be long if you aren’t particular about what photos you’d like. Your photographer is a professional and will do an amazing job capturing your day without a guideline. However, if you are passionate about a few (or many!) shots, provide them with a list so they can do everything in their power to capture all of the moments and details you’d like pictures of! Check out our sample shot list in the next section!

Example shot list

Getting Ready

1. Bride and bridesmaids arriving to getting ready location

2. Bride's dress and/or robe hanging in a photogenic space

3. All of the bridesmaids’ dresses hanging together

4. Bride’s hair and makeup being done (either by the professionals or stage a bridesmaid doing touch ups for the picture)

5. Bridesmaids’ hair and makeup being done

6. Bride re-reading vows to herself

7. Bridesmaid pouring champagne

8. Bride and bridesmaids toasting

9. Bride with bridesmaids after hair and makeup is done but before formal attire is put on (in robes or other getting ready attire)

10. Wedding invitation with bride’s jewelry and bouquet

11. Mom helping bride with a final detail, (either putting on the veil, zipping up the dress, or putting on a necklace)

12. Full-length photo of the bride in her dress looking in a mirror

13. Dress detail shot (i.e. lace, embellishments, buttons, etc.)

14. Picture(s) of shoes, rings, garter, jewelry, or other small pieces

15. Emotional moment of bride with significant family members (i.e. siblings, parents, grandparents, step-parents, etc.)

16. Bride with all the women present for getting ready

17. Groom getting ready with groomsmen and/or family

18. Dad or Best Man tying the groom’s tie

19. Emotional moment of groom with significant family members (i.e. siblings, parents, grandparents, step-parents, etc.)

20. Groom with all the groomsmen

21. Groom’s mom putting his boutonniere on

22. Groomsmen putting on boutonnieres, ties, and jackets

23. First look or touch picture with bride and groom

24. Bride with the flower girl

25. Groom with the ring bearer

The Ceremony

1. The ceremony space before anyone enters

2. Guests arriving and finding their seats

3. The altar before anyone is standing there

4. Groom waiting to walk down the aisle

5. Close-up of groom waiting for bride at the altar

6. Processional pictures of the bridal party, family members, and kiddos walking down the aisle

7. Wedding party waiting at the altar

8. Bride and escort before walking down the aisle

9. Bride and escort walking down the aisle

10. Groom’s face as he sees the bride at the end of the aisle

11. Bride and groom at the altar

12. Altar from the back during ceremony

13. Wide shot of audience during ceremony, from bride and groom's point of view

14. Close-ups of the bride and groom while exchanging vows

15. Close-ups of bride's and groom's hands when they exchange rings

16. The kiss (Pro-tip: make sure your officiant knows to move to the side so they aren’t in this shot!)

17. Bride and groom recessing up the aisle, guests' smiling in the background

18. Group shot with all guests still in seats once bride and groom get to the end of the aisle

19. Bride and groom outside ceremony site

20. Celebration shots: the bride and groom hugging, laughing, and crying with good friends and family immediately following the ceremony

21. Bride, groom, officiant, and witnesses signing the marriage license

Cocktail hour (OR before the ceremony if you are doing a first look and have extra time)

1. Bride and groom together (Pro-tip: don’t spend too much time at this point on just you two! Save some of these for sunset!)

2. Bride with her parents and/or stepparents

3. Bride & groom with the bride’s entire immediate family 

4. Groom with his parents and/or stepparents

5. Bride and groom with the groom’s entire immediate family

6. Bride and groom with all parents

7. Bride and groom with immediate family members from both sides

8. Bride and groom with groomsmen (serious and playful pictures)

9. Bride and groom with bridesmaids (serious and playful pictures)

10. Bride and bridesmaids holding their bouquets together

11. Bride and groom with whole wedding party (serious and playful pictures)

12. Guests enjoying amenities at cocktail hour (i.e. appetizers, drinks, games, etc.)

13. Bride’s and groom’s rings together
    

The Reception

1. Shot from outside reception venue

2. Empty reception room once all details are finished before guests enter

3. Reception design details such as welcome sign, place cards, seating chart, guest book, centerpieces, sweetheart table, decorations, place settings, guests favors, champagne glasses, the bar, buffet being set up

4. Guests taking their seats

5. Bride and groom arriving at reception venue

6. Grand entrance

7. Bride and groom at the sweetheart table

8. Parents' table

9. Guests' tables

10. Sunset/golden hour pictures with bride and groom (typically start about 15 mins prior to true sunset and lasts 15 minutes after)

11. Close-up of friends and family making toasts

12. Bride and groom listening, laughing, and crying during toasts

13. Bride and groom visiting with the guests while everyone is seated for dinner (table pictures)

14. Bride and groom's first dance

15. Parents dancing

16. Bride and Dad dancing

17. Groom and Mom dancing

18. Wedding party dancing

19. Grandparents dancing

20. Kids playing and dancing

21. Vendors making everything perfect behind the scenes

22. Guests getting it on the dance floor

23. Cake and/or dessert table

24. Bride and groom cutting the cake

25. Bride and groom feeding each other cake 

26. Bouquet toss

27. Retrieving, tossing, and catching of the garter

28. Picture with the bouquet and garter catchers

29. Bride and groom dancing with the guests

30. Grand exit

All Things Wedding DJ

Music will set the mood throughout your wedding and have a huge impact on how you remember your day. Wedding DJing is very different from other kinds of DJing. Wedding DJs are experienced in entertaining and engaging very diverse crowds and have mastered the balance of upbeat and fun to professionalism. Follow the guide below to ask the right questions and prepare appropriately after booking in order to maximize your DJ experience!

This article is divided into 3 sections:

1. Things to consider about Wedding DJs

2. Questions to ask a DJ prior to booking

3. What to do after booking to optimize the DJ’s services

Things to consider about Wedding DJs

1. Wedding DJs cost more than regular party DJs. A DJ’s mistake is amplified (literally), so when they mess up, they mess up LOUD! This is not a huge deal at a child’s birthday party, but if something goes wrong during your first dance at a wedding that is a different story. Wedding DJs understand the importance of quality equipment, professionalism, adequate preparation prior to the event, and are fast acting should anything go array.

2. Weddings have diverse crowds, and a Wedding DJ understands this. Wedding guests range in age, background, and musical interests. A Wedding DJ is able to read the room, and play music that will keep everyone engaged! This is just another reason they come at a higher cost.

3. Speciality music requires speciality DJs. If you are hosting a culture-specific wedding, it is useful to hire a DJ that is familiar with the music that is associated with this culture. Many DJs, especially those based in culturally diverse cities, will be able to play across music genres seamlessly, but if you want one specific kind of music played throughout the night, it is beneficial to hire a professional that is well versed in this genre.

4. DJs do more than press play. A common complaint on wedding boards is that people don’t want to pay for someone to press play. Your DJ is there to do SO. MUCH. MORE! They are blending music to keep the room moving at all times, gauging crowd response to guide music selection, making announcements, bringing energy that will keep the party upbeat and fun, and providing high quality sound equipment. The DJ/MC is the person communicating with the guests, so they are a voice and face that people will remember. A Wedding DJ is an investment in the feel of the wedding and worth every penny.

Questions to ASk A DJ prior to booking

basics-

1. Is my date available?

2. What is the price for the hours I need, sound systems I require, and dance floor lighting package?

3. Does the DJ double as an MC or will I need to book one separately?

4. Do you offer a written contract for our event? (If they don’t, STEER CLEAR!)

5. If applicable, do you offer bilingual MCs?

EXPERIENCE-

1. How long have you been a wedding DJ?

2. Roughly how many weddings have you DJd? (Hint: less than 10 is scary! 50-100 is great! 100+ is ideal!)

3. What kind of genres do you heavily lean towards?

4. What is your MC style?

5. Have you worked at my venue before?

6. Do you have a video or Soundcloud where I can listen to your music/mixing style? (Hint: since Wedding DJs are expected to play music specific to each diverse crowd they preform for, the music you hear in their sample isn’t necessarily what will be played at your wedding. Confirm this with the DJ you are talking to and take this into consideration if you don’t like the music in a particular sample. Instead of paying too much attention to the songs selection in the sample, focus on the way the songs are blended together. Are they choppy (hard stops to songs and sharp starts?) or do they blend seamlessly together? Also note how they are interacting in the crowd in the video. Are they very involved on the microphone or are they smiling and doing their job in the background?)

7. What sets you apart from other Wedding DJs?

LOGISTICS-

1. Can we add extra time on the night of our event if we aren’t ready for the party to end?

2. What is the rate for additional hours?

3. (If booking through a large company) Can we speak to our DJ directly prior to our wedding?

4. Do you provide any other services?- (Hint: bundling contracts can cave money since vendors often offer discounts if you book several services through them. Just make sure you like the details of the individual services offered and don’t settle in one area just for the sake of the bundle!)

5. How many events will my DJ have on the day of my wedding?

6. How many events will my DJ do over the course of my wedding weekend?

7. Do you take breaks? If so, how often? Will music still be played during this time? (Hint: like most wedding vendors who are onsite for the majority of your day, the DJ will need to eat. This can be done either behind the DJ booth or they can step away if you prefer. Most DJs will not take a break besides this. If you come across a DJ asking for a break every hour or so, this is a red flag.)

Music-

1. How often do you update your music library?

2. Will I be able to make song requests/a playlist beforehand?

3. Is there a limit to how long my requests/playlist can be?

4. Will I need to select all of the songs for the duration of the wedding or will you be making selections as well?

5. Can guests make requests on the day of my wedding?

6. Can I create a do-not play list?

7. Do you have clean and explicit versions of songs?

EQUIPMENT-

1. Do you provide any microphones? If so, how many?

2. Do you provide a wireless microphone?

3. Will we be able to use your microphone for the ceremony and toasts?

4. Do you have a microphone stand for our ceremony?

5. Do you provide any dance floor lighting?

6. How is the dance floor lighting displayed?

7. Do you offer dance floor lighting upgrades?

8. What mixing program do you use? (Hint: playing straight from iTunes during dancing is not the industry standard. There are a lot of great mixing programs out there; make sure your DJ is using one!)

9. How many sound systems come in your package? (Hint: a sound system is the audio equipment needed to play music in any particular area. This typically will include a set of speakers (1-2 speakers for ceremony/cocktail hour, 2+ speakers for dinner/dancing), microphone, amplifier, mixer, controller (for mixing music), music device (usually a laptop), and dance floor lighting (where appropriate).)

10. How many speakers will you provide for dancing? (Hint: for most spaces, 2 professional DJ speakers will be plenty. For especially large spaces, or venues with broken up layouts, additional speakers may be required. 1 speaker is almost never enough for the dance floor as it makes the music less dynamic.) 

What to do after booking to optimize the DJ’s services

1. Create a Spotify playlist and add songs that you like as you hear them. Instead of attempting to create a playlist all at once, create a blank playlist early on and add to it overtime. Refine the list as your wedding approaches and send the polished version to your DJ.

2. Make multiple playlists that specify which songs you HAVE to hear. If you prepare a long playlist for your DJ, they may not be able to get to every song. There is nothing wrong with providing a long list of songs you like! If you find that your list has grown to more than 40 songs, make a smaller playlist of about 10-20 songs that you absolutely HAVE to hear so that the DJ knows to prioritize those songs.

3. Make multiple playlists for different times of the wedding. Typically people don’t want to listen to dance music during dinner, so create multiple playlists that will set the tone for each specific timeframe! Your DJ will usually choose music that makes sense for each specific chunk of time (i.e. pre-ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, and dancing). However, if you provide one single request list the includes slow songs without a guidance on when to play them, the DJ may choose to play those songs during dinner, when you actually intended them for the dancing portion of the evening.

4. Specify whether you want clean or explicit versions of songs. Some people prefer to have the explicit versions of songs played. Some people choose to have only clean versions. Some people choose to have explicit versions, except for particularly raunchy songs. Let your DJ know what you prefer!

5. Create a do not play list. This is useful for several reasons. First, if your DJ doesn’t know that you dislike an artist or genre then you may end up listening to a few songs you just aren’t that into! Second, guests may request songs you don’t like that DJ otherwise would not have played. The do-not-play list will ensure the DJ knows what to avoid, even if a guests want it.

6. Your timeline can affect the activity on the dance floor almost as much as your DJ can. It is common for the dance floor to clear during cake cutting and other such events. Mapping out the timeline in a way that plans for these breaks, but quickly brings the energy back to the dance floor will set the DJ and dance floor up for success! For particularly long dancing portions of a wedding, use the events that clear the dance floor as an opportunity for guests to catch their breath and refill their drink, instead of stacking all of the events directly following dinner. For example, if dinner wraps up around 8:30, but you have the venue and DJ until midnight, plan for a cake cutting around 9:30pm so that guests get a break and don’t burn out on dancing! Follow the cake cutting with your bouquet and garter toss to ramp the energy back up and re-pack the dance floor!

7. Go over all of the ceremony and reception details with your DJ prior to your wedding. Most Wedding DJs will require a meeting prior to your wedding so they are able to do their job to the best of their ability. If your DJ doesn’t require a meeting, be sure to set one up yourself. Walk through the timeline and song requests with them to ensure that everyone is on the same page. Pro-tip: Send the timeline, special songs for the ceremony, special dances, etc., and the song request list prior to the meeting so the DJ has a chance to review the information and prepare any questions they may have. 

8. Book enough time so that no setup has to be done once guests are on site. DJs aren’t just for dancing! Music is important for all sections of the wedding! Think of when you go to a restaurant, if there was no music it would be a little awkward. Aside from creating ambience, choosing to only have the DJ present for dancing, means they will be setting up their equipment while guests are trying to enjoy dinner.

9. Gauge an MC style based on the conversation you have with them. When you talk to your DJ prior to booking, listen to the cadence of their voice. Pay attention to their energy, word choice, and overall sound to their voice. This will provide a lot more insight into their MC style than any single question ever could.

10. Communicate every special or out-of-the-ordinary thing you have planned with the DJ. If you have choreographed a dance, let them know. If you have a surprise planned, let them know. If you have anything that is not standard planned, it is very important to let the DJ know. Most professionals tend to be very accommodating and flexible, but there are certain things that will always go smoother if communicated properly beforehand!

11. Do more than read reviews, read into reviews. A company may have five stars across all the review platforms, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are a good fit for you. This is true for all vendors! Look for trends in the reviews that can provide a little more insight into what this professional's work style is like. For example, if you see something to the effect of “he was very active on the microphone and told a lot of funny jokes” recurring throughout reviews, that person is probably a very active MC. Other couples may have loved this and left all five star reviews, but if you want minimal activity on the microphone, that person isn’t going to be the right fit for you.

12. Trust your DJ! You hired this person for their experience and skills, so have some faith in them! A huge part of the DJ’s job is keeping guests engaged. In order to do this to the best of their ability, a little wiggle room on the music selection will go a long way!

Wedding Planning Tips

Wedding planning is an exciting and unique journey. There are so many ways to make the planning process smooth and stress-free. Below are 32 of our favorite ways to keep the planning process fun!

1. Budget is a great starting place

Whether you are working with a $3k budget or a $300k budget, knowing your maximum budget will help guide all other aspects of planning your wedding. Come up with an overall number that you and your fiance (or whoever is funding the wedding) are comfortable with, and then do a little research to feel out how this money should be divided up amongst the many wedding vendors. Click here for a guide to building your wedding budget breakdown!

2. Guest count matters

If money truly is not an object, then guest count should be the first step to planning. Knowing how many guests you need to comfortably accommodate will help you select a venue, caterer, food service style, bar, sound system, etc. Guest count will have a huge impact on the overall budget. As you create your budget breakdown, play around with the guest count to see how it will affect the way money is allocated.

3. Consider outside factors that may affect guest and vendor availability

There are often a lot of factors to consider when thinking of a wedding date. It is fairly common for couples to go into wedding planning with a date already in mind. Before becoming too attached to any particular date, consider what other events are happening around this time that might affect guests ability to make it and overall vendor availability.

For example, if your town is hosting a wine festival on July 25, many local vendors might be booked to participate in this event. An event like this might draw a lot of visitors from out of town, making finding a hotel room or even reasonably priced flights harder to come by for guests. Not to mention, even your in town guests might already have pre-planned to attend the alternative event!

4. Check the weather!

Weather has the ability to drastically alter how your day will go and add a lot of unplanned expenses. A particularly windy day at an outdoor venue can cause a lot of problems! If the weather is too hot or too cold, guests might not be inclined until the end of the event. While it is always good to continue to check the weather and make reasonable climate control attempts (i.e. umbrellas, tents, heaters, etc.) picking a date that is generally at a time when the weather is temperate will save you a lot of stress throughout the planning process! 

Pro-tip #1: You can Google any date and find the weather trends on that exact date for the last few hundred years. Of course, this can’t guarantee the exact weather on your wedding day, but it can at least give you a little insight into what the weather will likely be. 

5. The sunset waits for no one

The sunset will happen when it happens. You can’t control it, so plan for it! In order to get those amazing golden hour shots, shape the rest of your event around this opportune time!  Sunset is important for more than just aesthetics, though! When the sun goes down, the overall climate will change, and accommodations may be needed to keep guests comfortable for the duration for the celebration! 

Pro-tip #2: Google what time the sunset will be when planning your timeline! Google knows all, so even 18 months away from your wedding date you can look up exactly what time the sun will be setting on your wedding day. Having this time in mind will make it easier to map out when certain events should occur.

6. Consolidate spending and rack up credit card points!!

Opening a specific credit card for wedding related expenses is great for several reasons. First, if all the expenses are made in one place it will be way simpler to track spending. It will also be easier to communicate these expenses to other people who might be financially invested in your wedding. This is also a great opportunity to rack up some points! Weddings are a huge expense, so you might as well get something in return! If you rack up enough points you may just be able to pay for your honeymoon!

7. Take vendor recommendations

There is no need to reinvent the wheel! Wedding professionals spend every weekend meeting and making connections with other amazing vendors. Vendors are highly likely to suggest vendors they only truly feel confident in, as they are putting their own reputation on the line by offering these referrals. 

8. Guests = Money

If you find yourself looking to cut costs, cut the guest list. Each guest costs money to host, so if you find yourself in a financially tough situation, take another look at the guest list! This is just another great reason why starting with the budget is ideal. By taking a careful look at how much money you can spend on the wedding you will have a clear understanding of how many guests and at what cost per person will work for you!

Pro-tip #3: Make sure that you have a very clear handle on the budget before sending out invitations. This way if you need to cut the guest list you don’t have to officially uninvite anyone!

9. Advocate early for yourself

Prior to booking, vendors will be more likely to make modifications to their packages and overall price to earn your business. Once the contract is signed and the deposit has been paid they are typically less likely to throw in freebies, because that isn’t what was in the initial agreement. A lot of vendors are firm on their prices, but many are happy to make custom packages to ensure you are satisfied with what you are signing up for!

Pro-tip #4: When asking for free upgrades or a discount, remember you are asking a favor, so ask nicely! These vendors are professionals which means they rely on your business to provide for themselves and their families. While they may want to accommodate your budget, they may not be financially able to do so. 

10. Stay organized throughout planning

Staying organized will help keep planning on track and fun. There are many approaches to wedding organization, but no matter what method works for you, stick to it! Update your information regularly, keep everything in one place, and check in on your to-do lists often! For a full list of tips and tricks on staying organized, click here!

11. Chunk out your planning

Remember in school when your teachers would write out the big goals of the day and the smaller tasks you’d do in order to achieve these goals? Well, they were really onto something! Break down your to-do list into sections to make planning more manageable, easier to track, and more rewarding! Click here, for some useful tips and an idea of how to build your own planning timeline.

12. Draft of your day-of timeline early on

Create a rough draft of your wedding day fairly early on in your wedding planning process. Map out how you would like the day to be paced and what time you’d like major events to happen. This may (and probably will) change quite a bit as your plans shift, but having a general outline will help you menally prepare and offer guidance as you book vendors. When it comes time to sign contracts with vendors they will want to know a start and finish time. Certain vendors (like your venue, bartenders, photographer, videographer, and DJ) will have packages that include a certain amount of hours. Having a rough draft of your timeline will give you a better idea of how many hours you need them onsite.

13. Stock your bar...

...with the appropriate amount of bartenders. Avoid long lines at the bar by hiring an appropriate amount of staff for your guest count. Typically for a simple bar (beer, wine, 1-2 pre batched cocktails), you need one bartender per 50 guests to keep the line down. If you are having a fully open bar where guests can order whatever drink they want you will need an extra bartender or two to make sure guests are taken care of in a timely manner.

Pro-tip #5: Take the bar size into consideration. If your venue has a smaller physical bar space, hire an amount of bartenders that make sense for the space. If you are having a large wedding with a small physical bar space, consider renting a second bar to keep the line under control! Small bar lines = full dance floor!

14. Plan for the un-plannable

When going through your budget, make sure to leave some “flex” money for miscellaneous items that may pop up over the course of planning. There are almost always unforeseen expenses that usually aren’t discovered until money has already been spent in other areas. Instead of feeling like you have to blow the budget on these items, anticipate them! 

15. When in doubt, ask your professionals

Wedding professionals spend a lot of time at weddings and have gained a lot of valuable insight over their years of experience. Your wedding professionals are usually very well versed in what seemingly simple touches can make the day run smoother! Take their advice into consideration. If it works with your vision, great!

16. Postage points

After carefully researching and designing the perfect invitations, no one wants to stick an ugly stamp on the envelope. Instead of choosing from the limited options available at the post office, consider ordering your stamps online at USPS.com. 

Pro-tip #6: Weigh your invitations before you send them out so you can be confident the postage attached is adequate to get your invitation to its destination. If you have an oddly shaped envelope, be sure to ask at the post office about the best method and postage amount to ensure delivery.

Pro-tip 7: Pre-stamp your return RSVP cards. Guests are more likely to quickly send their RSVP cards back if they are pre-stamped.

17. Not all the guests will be able to attend, and that is okay!

Things happen and not everyone will be able to attend your wedding. This is okay! On average about 15-20% of invitees won’t be able to attend. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you! Just remember, guests cost money, so even though you’d love for everyone to celebrate with you, saving money is a huge silver lining to the “No” RSVPs. Alternatively, this will open up a few spaces for the friends that you thought you might not be able to invite. 

18. Be consistent with the kiddos

Adults only weddings are becoming more and more common, but there is still a lot of grey area on what that exactly means. A lot of “adults only” weddings will still have a few rugrats running around for any number of reasons. When you send out your invitations specify the kid restriction. You have four options: all kids are welcome, "adults only," immediate family kids only, or you can invite everyone to bring their children and provide childcare for the kids, either at the venue, in a hotel room, or in someone’s home. Consistency is key, though! If you allow some friends to bring children, it is best to allow everyone to bring their children. (Immediate family and kiddos in the bridal party are an exception!)

19. The A, B, C’s to your guest list

This is not a fun guideline to suggest, but it is a good one to follow. When preparing your guest list, separate the list into 3 sections: your “A listers” (the people that are invited no matter what); the “B listers” (the people who you hope to invite if there is enough room); and the “C listers” (the people you want to invite, but will only invite if people from one of the first two lists drop out). This will make cutting down your guest list a lot easier if it becomes necessary down the road. It will also help you prioritize your budget. If having everyone from all three lists is important, allocate money in such a way that this is possible!

20. Limit the plus ones

Considering you are mapping out an A, B, C guest list and trying to track a budget, you do not need to allow every guest a plus one! 

A general rule of thumb, if a guest is married their significant other needs to be invited. Even if you don’t include a section for a plus one on their RSVP, their significant other’s invitation is implied. If, for whatever reason, a significant other is not invited that needs to be explicitly communicated to your guest. 

Aside from married couples, it is nice to allow guests who may not know a lot of other attendees a plus one. If someone is requesting a plus one and you simply can’t accommodate the other person, just let your guest know that you’ve already had to make difficult decisions about your guest list and you don’t have the room (or budget!)

For everyone else, they should not expect to be allowed a plus one unless specified on the invitation. 

Pro-tip #8: Try to avoid mentioning budget as a restriction unless the situation specifically makes sense to bring this up. Guests will offer to pay for their plus one in lieu of not bringing one which doesn’t really solve your problem if your real issue is space or simply not wanting strangers around for an intimate celebration.

21. Guest transportation

Providing guest transportation to and from a hotel is always nice, but it isn’t expected nor is it necessary if your budget is starting to be stretched a little thin. If faced with a choice, it is best to either skip it completely or provide transportation for everyone. Having one or two shuttles to take a portion of guests (bridal party and immediate family not included), but not the rest of your guests can be confusing. Guests may see a shuttle leave and wait for another one, that isn’t coming. 

Pro-tip #9: If you are tight on money, but want to offer some sort of transportation accommodation, sign up with a ride-share company and provide guests with a discount code. You can pre-set the discount amount and the maximum amount you are willing to cover. 

22. Room blocks and your budget

If you have a lot of out of town guests it is nice to find a hotel in close proximity to your wedding venue for guests to stay during their visit. Setting aside a room block will often allow guests to book at a lower rate than finding a place on their own. 

That being said, a lot of the hotels that offer room blocks will hold you financially accountable for the unbooked rooms in your block. If possible, avoid this kind of arrangement! If this is your only option, only set aside enough rooms for your immediate family that you know will be booking or skip the block completely! You can typically add rooms later on if necessary, though they may be at a different rate than the initial block. 

Pro-tip #10: If there is a large event taking place nearby on the weekend of your wedding, a room block is crucial to guarantee guests can find accommodations! 

Pro-tip #11: Avoid being held financially accountable for unbooked rooms in your blocks by not making a block, but instead suggest a few nearby hotels for guests to choose from.  This takes the guesswork out of the hotel search for guests, but will potentially save you a massive added expense. 

23. Document everything in writing

Chances are, leading up to the wedding day you will have a lot of discussions with your vendors about small details that aren’t included in your contracts. In order to track the information being shared, and ensure that all of the details are covered, make sure everything is in writing. 

There are often several people working with each company you have booked for your wedding. Having everything in writing will keep information consistent between individuals within the company.  

Even if you have discussed something several times over the phone, send a follow up email outlining the details you need your vendor to take care of on the day of. After sharing the same details with so many people involved with the wedding, it can be challenging to remember exactly who was told what, but having everything in writing is a great way to keep track of this. 

24. Think through the day-of set up logistics

Talk to your venue about what time you and your vendors will have access to the space for set-up. Carefully consider how much time and helping hands your decor will take to set up. Remember that if you aren’t hiring outside help, you will need to make sure you have enough vehicles to transport decor, hands to delegate the set up between, and ample time to have everything done and done well! If you are hiring outside help, it is still important that transporting everything to and from the venue has been thoroughly planned and enough hands have been hired to properly set up in the time allotted! Click here for a thorough day of checklist to make sure you have accounted for all of the details!

25. Make it official with your marriage license

Do a little research into the process for applying for a marriage license prior to showing up at your courthouse. Make sure that you know the timeframe before your wedding that you can apply for your marriage license. 

On the day-of designate someone to be responsible for storing your marriage license in a safe pre-determined space so that you can send it in and legally be married! 

Pro-tip #12: In the state of California, technically, it is the officiant’s responsibility (and legal obligation) to return your marriage license within 10 days of the ceremony. However, if, for whatever reason, the marriage license isn’t returned you are still married. (source)

26. Become well versed in your venue’s policies and protocols

If you are holding your wedding ceremony at a place of religious worship, discuss what expectations the venue has of you and your guests. For example, do they have a specific time that all guests need to be off the property?; how strict are they on ceremony start time?; do your guests need to dress a certain way?; are you allowed to place any decor?; is flash photography allowed?; etc.?

Reception venues (or combined ceremony and reception venues) often have their own policies and protocols that they expect you and your vendors to adhere to. Most venues will provide a list of these rules, but if you are not provided any, ask for a specific breakdown of their policies. This will help you prepare appropriately and protect/mentally prepare you if something goes wrong that would result in the venue charging additional fees.

Pro-tip #13: Venues will often ask for signed copies of their rules from your vendors. If they don’t require this, it is still a good idea to share the house rules with your vendors so they have an opportunity to understand what the venue restricts and requires of them.

27. Discuss your values, and allocate money accordingly

When you begin to breakdown your budget into an outline (see item #1 on this list), typically you will want to start by writing out the full list of vendors that you will need. From there, discuss with your fiance what matters the most to you both and allocate money accordingly. You may LOVE flowers and want to designate a higher percentage of your overall budget towards this! By doing this in the beginning of planning you will help guide your vendor selection and stay within budget.

28. Keep guests engaged by putting yourself in their shoes

The guests are there to celebrate YOU, so make sure they are well taken care of! Prepare an adequate sound system so that they can see and hear throughout your ceremony and reception. Keep them comfortable by providing climate control and offering amenities such as blankets, flat shoes for dancing, and plenty of access to food, water, and shade. Schedule the day so that activities aren’t during high distraction times or too spaced out allowing guests to get antsy. Click here for timeline building help! Think through the day from the guests perspective to ensure everything is engaging, comfortable, and fun throughout the event.

29. Keep contact information handy!

Keep all of your vendor contact information organized and easily accessible on your wedding day. Things happen, and you don’t want to waste too much time tracking down a vendor’s phone number if you need to contact them.

Pro-tip #14: Designate someone as a point of contact for vendors on your wedding day. If you have a coordinator or planner they will be the go-to person for the other vendors. If you don’t have a professional, designate a family member or bridesmaid to be the point of contact so you don’t have 20 vendors calling you with set-up questions on the wedding day. Even if you have a planner or coordinator, it is still a good idea to designate a bridesmaid as a contact for that person!

30. Gals gas gals up; dress shop with your friends

Dress shopping is best when done with a small group. This can be an emotionally taxing process for so many reasons and its best to have a solid support system there to keep you grounded. Make sure to bring honest friends so they can tell you what is flattering, keep your energy up if you start to feel discouraged, and help you stay firm on your budget. 

Pro-tip #15: Support is so much more than telling you are gorgeous in everything (we already know that you are!). True support is helping you make a realistic choice based on your budget, vision, and body type. Make sure that the people you bring along are ready to keep your spirits high, but your expectations realistic.

Pro-tip #16: Don’t bring too many people while you are trying on dresses. Ideally, you will have 1-3 people tagging along to your dress appointments. Two main reasons for this: (1) too many people can be distracting. Having voices for guidance is important, but too many opinions will quickly become overwhelming. (2) Most bridal shops have small showrooms so there isn’t a ton of room for a whole gathering. If you do show up with more people than they are comfortable with, the stylist may feel the need to rush you along to clear the space. 

Pro-tip #16.5: Call ahead to the bridal shop to see how many people they can comfortably accommodate.

31. Manage your to-do list

Staying on top of your to-do list throughout planning will help you accomplish every nitty-gritty task you have planned. However, when you get down to the wire, don’t push yourself to the point of wedding burn out! In that final month, the smallest little details that somehow managed to slip through the cracks are finally coming to light. Skip the things you don’t truly need, delegate the things you can, and tackle what you really need to do head on! In that final month stretch, you want to be getting excited for the wedding, not pushing yourself to the point where you’re excited for it to be over.

32. Don’t sweat the small stuff

This is the best and most consistent wedding advice you will probably receive. Things may not go as planned. Some things may not go as planned to the point that you will need to address them after the fact. On your wedding day, the most important thing is getting married! Everything else is extra. No matter what happens, as long as you are with the person you love, your wedding day is already perfect! Stay focused on the positives and live in the moment! Chances are, if you are able to focus on all of the best parts, you won’t even notice the little hiccups that may occur!

Pro-tip #17: Hiring a day-of coordinator will offer peace of mind so that you don’t feel the need to look for the small hiccups. You can live in the moment and feel confident that someone else is handling the behind the scenes aspects for you! A great coordinator will take care of everything before you even notice something wasn’t quite as planned!

Questions to Ask A Wedding Planner Prior to Booking

Weddings vary so much from event to event. A wedding should be a expression of each couples uniqueness. When selecting a wedding planner is it important to find a professional who can take your vision to heart and provide guidance that will ultimately result in a day that reflects your vision, love, and personality!

In order to accurately gauge if a professional has the ability to accomplish this, there are several questions that can be asked prior to booking to properly vet the professional you are interested in. Below is a list of quality questions to inquire about before signing a contract with your wedding planner. Please note- a lot of these questions may be answered on the professional’s website. Asking too many questions may land you with an overwhelming amount of information! Be sure to ask the necessary questions so you are able to gather important information that will help guide your decision!

Questions to ask prior to booking a wedding planner-

The basics-

1. Are you available on my date?

2. I don’t have a date set, what if we ultimately pick a date that you are not available?

3. How much do your services cost?

4. What services do you offer, what are the differences between your packages, and what package will best fit my needs?

5. Are there any additional fees?

Experience & expectations-

1. How long have you been a wedding planner?

2. How long have you been a wedding planner in my area?

3. How many weddings do you take on in a single weekend?

4. Will you personally be at my event?

5. What would you say your wedding planning “style” is?

6. Can you tell me about a wedding that you planned that you are particularly proud of?

7. What is your experience with problem solving?

8. Can you give me an example of something that went wrong at a wedding and how you handled it?

9. If we run into any issues throughout the planning process, how will you advocate for us?

10. How much access will I have to you throughout the planning period?

11. After I book, what are the next steps to working together?

Package questions-

1. How much support do you offer with pre-wedding planning? Specifically-

   1. During the vendor selection process, will you provide options?

   2. How many options of each vendor will you provide?

   3. Am I able to express my desires/interests for certain vendors?

   4. Who will make the ultimate selection?

   5. Will you offer guidance if I am unsure what elements I should be considering about certain vendors?

   6. Will you review contracts provided by other vendors?

   7. Will you track my budget and spend?

   8. Will you provide design consultations?

   9. How many meetings will we have before the wedding?

   10. How often will we have meetings leading up to my wedding?

   11. Will you solely be responsible for assisting with my wedding planning or do you have other staff that I will also be working with?

   12. Will you create my invitations, send invitations, and track RSVPs?

   13. Will you create any signage for the wedding?

2. Will you attend venue walk throughs, vendor meetings, etc. throughout the wedding planning?

3. Will you create a day of timeline?

4. Will you provide the other vendors with this timeline?

5. If so, when will this timeline be created and sent to the other vendors?

6. Will you create a timeline to provide to the family and bridal party?

7. If so, when will this be created and distributed?

8. Do you include day of coordination in your wedding planning package?

9. How many assistants will be present on my wedding day?

10. Do you include decor set up and breakdown in your package?

11. Will you help manage vendors on the day of?

12. How much communication do you typically have with the other vendors leading up to the wedding date?

13. Will you coordinate their arrival, set up, and breakdown times on the wedding day?

14. Will you take care of payment for outstanding balances on the wedding day?

15. Do you have any decor included in my package or available for rent?

The logistics-

1. Do you have insurance to provide to a venue if necessary?

2. Do you require a vendor meal(s)?

3. If we have any issues with vendors following the wedding will you still be present to help advocate for us?

4. Do you have any references?

Things to consider when looking for a wedding planner-

1. Involvement in wedding planning- How involved do you want to be in the wedding planning process? Some couples would like to be very hands on in all elements of the planning process, while others would prefer to be next to surprise on the wedding day! To find the right planner for you, you first need to decide the level of involvement you are comfortable with.

2. Alternatives to full wedding planning- If you are determined to do all of the wedding planning, but will still need someone to take care of the logistics and “behind the scenes” aspects of your wedding day, a Day of Coordinator may be a better fit for you. If you will need a little support on the planning but have it mostly covered, you may need a partial planning package! If the wedding professional you love doesn’t have a package that is quite perfect for what you need, ask if they can customize a package for you!

3. Payment schedules- Wedding planning takes a lot of hours and hours cost money! The planner will probably require payment on a schedule throughout the planning period to be compensated for the time they are spending. Be sure to talk through this payment schedule and discuss how it will fit into your overall budget.

4. Be upfront with budget- A professional wedding planner will completely understand if you are not able to work their packages into your budget. They may not be able to offer alternative pricing, but being honest about budget upfront will give them the opportunity to explain how they can or cannot fit into your overall budget. 

5. If you haven’t selected a wedding date yet- Since most wedding planners will help with date and venue selection you likely will not have a date set at the time of booking. Discuss what will happen if you ultimately select a date that they are not personally available on.

6. You more or less get what you pay for- If someone quotes you $2k for the same package that someone else is quoting $10k, there is likely a large difference in experience. This doesn’t mean that the quality of work will necessarily be significantly different, but it is a very strong possibility. 

Things to do after booking your wedding planner-

Get to planning! Ask your first steps after booking. This will likely be reviewing the budget, making a game plan for the planning process, and going over what you are looking for in a venue.

All Things Bridal Party

Aren’t best friends great? They are there to offer love and support through all of life’s good, bad, and ugly moments. Having friends stand along side you on your wedding day is a beautiful symbol of this friendship. But there are often a lot of questions surrounding the bridal party. Here is some insight into all things bridal party.

This blog is divided into 7 sections:

1. Deciding what level of support you need from your bridal party

2. Asking your bridal party to be your bridal party

3. How to select bridal party wardrobe

4. Who should pay for what

5. What to delegate to the bridal party & managing your own expectations

6. Tips on keeping your bridal party happy

7. Bridal party gifts

Deciding what level of support you will need from your bridal party

Before asking your bridal party to be in your wedding, you will need to figure out what level of support you need from them. This is important for several reasons. First, you will need to let them know up front if you need a lot of support. Not everyone will have the time, money, or skills to offer that you may be in need of. Second, someone who has been in a wedding previously, may have their own preconceived notions about what being in a bridal party entails. This may be either more or less support than you are expecting, and you will want to be able to let them know right off the bat what being in your bridal party will be like.

If you are having a DIY wedding, having a lot of extra hands makes for less stress for you and often a lot of fun with the right bridal party. If you are planning to book an all inclusive venue, you won’t have as many projects and therefore won’t need as much support.

Typically the bridal party will plan your bachelor/bachelorette party and bridal shower. You should at least have a general idea of what you are wanting for these events. It is ideal to let your bridal party know upfront if you want to travel for your bachelor/bachelorette party so they can a) manage their own expectations b) plan accordingly and c) let you know upfront if they can afford the time and money this will require. While not being able to attend or financially contribute to this party shouldn’t count them out from your bridal party altogether, it will be easier on everyone involved if you know this upfront. The bridal shower, while typically a less expensive party, does still require some money from your bridal party and if you are wanting one, this is important to let them know upfront! Even if you don’t necessarily “require” one, they may still throw one for you, but the bridal party may feel less obligated to spend big on this party (that can either be a positive, negative, or neutral thing to you, depending on your expectation).

It is important to work through what you expect from your bridal party before asking them to be a part of your wedding so they can make an educated assessment of whether or not they would like to take on this role. Remember you are asking your friends to be in your wedding, not telling them. If someone says they can’t be a part of your wedding, don’t take it personally! This is easier said than done, but if someone can’t take on the expense and time, it will save you both heartache down the road if you give them to opportunity to make an informed decision from the get-go.

Did you know: According to a 2017 WeddingWire article the average cost of being a bridesmaid is $1,200. Keep this in mind when setting the expectation for your bridal party- and definitely keep this in mind if someone is hesitant to make the commitment to being in your bridal party!!

Asking your bridal party to be your bridal party

You can take many approaches to ask your bridal party to be in your wedding. It can be as simple as a phone call or as elaborate as you’d like! There is no shortage of ideas on Pinterest! If you like the idea of a gift, but aren’t up for creating something cutesy on your own, check out Etsy or Amazon! There are a lot of pre-made bridal party specific boxes, bags, etc. for both men and women that you can purchase to gift to your bridal party.

So when should you ask them? It is a good idea to give them as much notice as possible, for a few reasons. First, they want to be excited, too! Being a part of someone’s wedding is a huge honor and, frankly, a big validation of your level of friendship. Second, this will allow them time to financially prepare for the expense. Some people might need to save money for the events surrounding the wedding and their wedding attire. Enough notice will allow them ample time to prepare. Third, they have some planning of their own to do! As discussed later in this article, the bridal party plays a huge role in your bachelor/bachelorette party and bridal shower. The more time they have, the better they will be able to plan to the best of their ability.

How to select bridal party wardrobe

This can be a challenge for a lot of people, especially those with larger bridal parties. The more people you have in your wedding the more body types and financial situations you will need to take into account.

If you want all of your bridesmaids in the same dresses, take everyone’s body type into account. You want to pick a style and color that will be flattering on everyone. Besides the fact that these are your best friends and you want them to be comfortable and able to enjoy your wedding day, happy bridesmaids are smiling bridesmaids, and smiles look better in pictures.

There is a more recent trend of allowing your bridesmaids to pick their own dresses. Some people give no parameters and have the bridesmaids pick whatever they want. Some people give a color scheme and/or length requirements. Giving your bridal party some free reign will give everyone the opportunity to pick an outfit they feel confident wearing, in a price range that they feel comfortable with.

For shoes, keep in mind the type of venue you will be married at. If you are getting married in a chapel and having the reception at an indoor ballroom, no problem. Have the bridal party wear something they will be comfortable and look great in. If you are getting married at an outdoor venue with a lot of grass, dirt, or mulch avoid stilettos or anything they would have trouble walking in.

For suits, again, take budget and body type into consideration. If you have a lot of larger men, skip the slim fit suits. If you have a lot of people with tighter budgets, skip the $300 rental and go for the $150 purchase options!

Who should pay for what

This can be a tricky situation, but again, setting the expectation from the get-go will help alleviate any confusion or awkwardness around money down the road.

Wardrobe- Typically the bridal party will pay for their own dresses and suits. Some couples have it in their budget to cover everyone’s wardrobe, so they take care of this. That is awesome if you can, but if you can’t don’t sweat it. It is best to keep everyone’s financial situations in mind when selecting outfits, though. If the majority of your bridal party is working with tighter budgets, picking a dress and/or suit that is $300 is a quick way to create some resentment from your bridal party, especially when there are some amazing companies that offer beautiful, high quality dresses in the $50-$150 range and high quality suits in the $150-$250 range.

Bachelor/bachelorette parties- Typically the bridal party will pay for this. Even if you insist on paying for your part, it is best to plan as if the bridal party will refuse your money. Take this into consideration when giving them ideas of what you would like to do. Maybe they will take the money, maybe they won’t, either way, plan as if they won’t to avoid financially burdening anyone.

Bridal shower- This is a party for you, not by you. Typically either family, the bridal party, or both will put together this party. A bridal shower is when all, most, or some the womyn invited to your wedding come together and shower you with gifts. This can be as big or small as you like or the host(s) can afford. Since you are not personally throwing this party, the host(s) typically pay for this event.

Hair and makeup- General rule of thumb: if you require bridesmaids to have professional hair and makeup, you should pay for it. If you give them the option for professional hair and makeup, they can pay for it. If you are giving them the option, keep cost in mind when selecting a hair and makeup team. A bridesmaid who doesn’t excel at hair and/or makeup may refuse the service because it is too expensive.

What to delegate to the bridal party & managing your own expectations

You can delegate as much or as little as you’d like to the bridal party, but again, set this expectation when you ask them to be a part of your wedding. If you tell them you won’t need any support when you ask and then suddenly need 10+ hours of their time every week there is a good chance you will inspire a little resentment.

Read the feedback you get from your bridal party. If you have some one who is constantly asking how they can help, give them tasks! If you have someone who acts like you are asking a little too much of them, give them less to do! Try not to be offended if someone who said they would love to help suddenly isn’t able to or simply isn’t interested anymore. It can hurt a little when this happens, but you will end up stressing yourself and taking the fun away if you lean into those feelings too much. This is, of course, way easier said than done, but you will thank yourself later if you can accomplish this!

Play up people’s strengths. If you have a crafty bridesmaid, ask them to help with crafty things. If you have a thorough researcher in the group, have them do some research into a particular vendor or two. (Pro-tip: very clearly explain your vision and budget for these vendors so they don’t spend a lot of time and energy compiling options that aren’t what you’re looking for! Remember, you aren’t paying this person you definitely don’t want them to waste their time!). Have your musically inclined friend create your playlists. Playing up people’s strengths will give you better results overall and they are more likely to enjoy helping out!

Remember these are your best friends and they should be treated as such! These people love you and are happy to support you on your big day, but they are not hired help!

Tips on keeping Your bridal party happy

A happy bridal party is a helpful bridal party, so keeping them happy is key. Do this by making helping fun! Here are some ideas on how to accomplish this:

• Ask for help, don’t demand it. If they have the time and energy to help, great! If not, try not to be offended. Ask if a different project would be more up their alley, or if a different time would be better.

• Talk about things other than your wedding. If your whole relationship becomes just the wedding, they are going to get burnt out on it.

• Turn a craft or planning date into a wine or movie night!

• Positive reinforcement is always nice. Compliment their work, show appreciation, buy them dinner while they are helping, etc. They are offering valuable time and energy, for free. Remember, the things they are supporting you with are services you could pay someone else to do.

• Ask for their input, and take it to heart. You may not ultimately go with their ideas, but listening to their thoughts will show you value their opinion. Providing the opportunity to express ideas and opinions throughout the planning process makes everyone feel more involved and therefore care more!

Bridal party gifts

Show your gratitude, not just for their support with the wedding, but for their continued love and support throughout your life! If you don’t have a ton of money to spend, that is okay! There is no set or standard amount to spend. So whether you have $0 or $1000 don’t forget to show your bridal party some love!

Bridesmaids gifts- In a world of Pinterest there is no shortage of inspiration for bridesmaids gifts! A common trend is the gift baskets or bags. Pre-made baskets or bags can be purchased from Etsy or Amazon, but you can always make your own, too! These baskets can include anything you think your gals will love, but some of the common favorites have been robes to wear while getting ready, jewelry to wear at your wedding (earrings, bracelets, and/or necklaces), ring pops (sooo inexpensive, cute sentiment, and fun), and personalized champagne flutes or water bottles. Spa themed boxes are also cute and simple to assemble! With a few multi packs of face masks and bath bombs from Marshall’s, an eye mask from Etsy, and a scented candle the gifts are complete! They can cost as low as $10 each and the ladies will be ecstatic!

Groomsmen gifts- We have all seen the personalized flasks and shot glasses, and while these are awesome, there are so many other great options out there! Ties are quite pricey, consider taking care of the cost for the guys by including their tie for your wedding in a gift box along with other items such as whiskey, engraved watches (definitely a more expensive option, but so cool!), personalized key chains, pint glasses (can be personalized, blank, or say “groomsman”), or special or personalized cufflinks.

The most important part of any gift is a heartfelt note. Express why you are grateful for these lovely people and how their presence has impacted your life! If you are on a tighter budget, personalized notes can serve as your entire token of appreciation! It is just nice to let people know they are valued and their love is reciprocated!

These gifts are typically given during the bachelor/bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinner, and/or on the wedding day.

Pro-tip #1: If you are creating a basket or bag, collect items over time to avoid a big chunk of expense at once. Collecting over time also allows you to select items that are meaningful instead of just sifting through the internet and purchasing random items over the span of a day or two.

Pro-tip #2: No matter when your wedding is, be sure to check out Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals for bridal party gifts!

Some useful links to gifts I love (Last updated 4/7/20):

Inexpensive/good quality robe link (allow up to 60 days for delivery): https://www.aliexpress.com/item/32663276771.html?spm=a2g0o.productlist.0.0.a7e4545aPgmntu&algo_pvid=66e4c635-5b8a-4328-8a25-1f7a3dbf8f5c&algo_expid=66e4c635-5b8a-4328-8a25-1f7a3dbf8f5c-0&btsid=21cf40e7-f794-478d-8e42-f7804bfb7ff8&ws_ab_test=searchweb0_0,searchweb201602_7,searchweb201603_52

Personalized Champagne Flutes (inexpensive, but plastic):

https://www.etsy.com/listing/618495701/set-of-7-personalized-flutes-name-and?ref=yr_purchases

Personalized Eyemask:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/593636412/eye-masks-funny-hangover-gift-custom?ref=yr_purchases 

Ties:

https://www.daziusa.com/

https://www.bows-n-ties.com/

Personalized cuff links:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/697865633/customized-cufflinks-personalized?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=cufflinks+personalized&ref=sr_gallery-1-3&pro=1&col=1

https://www.etsy.com/listing/257203258/personalized-round-gunmetal-cufflinks?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=cufflinks+personalized&ref=sc_gallery-1-3&plkey=db63e26614ab6c6accb06ebbd35ecaa6633b9e8b%3A257203258&pro=1

USEFUL LINKS:

https://www.bachtobasic.com Want to throw an incredible bachelorette party, but don’t have the time to plan? Let Bach to Basic do the planning for you!

https://misc-goods-co.com?ref=lX2K3 Use Promo Code WPLA_25 to save 25% on great gifts for your bridal party

https://flipsidez.com Use promo code WPLAW10 to save 10% on unique Bachelor/ette Party accessories and gifts!

Select Your Vendors Like a Pro

Selecting vendors can be a daunting task. There are SO many options out there so how can you be sure you are making a good choice? It is challenging selecting vendors that fit in your budget or are worth stretching the budget for! There are a few specific steps I take when sifting through and vetting vendors before sending them to my clients. Follow these steps and you’ll be picking vendors like a pro!

***Before you get going on vendor research, I highly recommend making a full budget!! Making a full, realistic budget will help guide your vendor selection. See my full budget guide here***

Decide on a general vision for each specific vendor-

Before diving into the deep end of vendor research, have an idea of what you are after. A few things to shape this vision: budget, what you hope to get out of your contract with this vendor (i.e. how many hours, how many assistants, etc.), what “style” do you want (i.e. what kind of venue do you want, what style of photography do you like, what kind of food do you want, etc.).

1. Venue- indoor, outdoor, mix of both, beach, woods, mountains, all inclusive, DIY, somewhere in between, how late do you want to be there into the evening, will they be hosting other events in the space that day, will they take care of trash removal, do they provide restrooms, power, or any other basic amenities, do they provide tables, chairs, an arbor, a bar space,etc.? For reference, a wedding with 100 guests at a venue that provides only power and restrooms will cost about $7k in rentals, if you go with the most basic rental options. This should absolutely be factored in to your overall cost when selecting a venue.

2. Wedding Planner- do you want to be involved in wedding planning or do you want to think about it as little as possible? You will spend a lot of time with your wedding planner and your wedding planner needs to be able to see YOUR vision in order to create your special day. Make sure that this is someone you are ready and excited to spend time with!

3. Photographer- do you want light and airy, dark and moody, true to color, posed photos, raw emotions, or a mix, how many hours will you need them, do you need 2 photographers or will one suffice (2 are recommended for larger guest counts and spread out venues), do you want an engagement shoot, how many photos are you hoping to get back? Ask to see a full wedding album instead of just the highlights!

4. Videographer- what do you want included in the video? Montage of key events throughout the day, full vows, speeches, and special dances, or a combo of the above? Be sure to look through several examples so you have a clear idea of what your edit will include.

5. Caterer- what kind of food do you want, how will it be served, will they provide apps as well, do they offer plates, cups, and flatware rentals, how experienced are they with larger events, do they provide bussers?

6. DJ/Musician- will they make announcements for you throughout the event, how many sound systems will they bring (you will need 2-3 for most venues if you are doing ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception in different spaces), will they allow you to provide song requests, do they have experience playing to a crowd, can they provide a microphone for the ceremony and reception, how active are they on the mic? HINT: A sound system is the full set up which will include a set of speakers (1-2 speakers for ceremony cocktail hour, 2+ speakers for dinner/dancing), microphone (confirm this with your DJ! Some charge extra), amp, mixer, music device (usually a laptop), and dance floor lighting (where appropriate).

7. Bar- do you need a full service bar, or would you like to build your own bar and hire just the bartenders? Will your venue allow you to DIY the bar? If you are DIYing the bar, will you ned to rent the physical bar? Are you bartenders licensed?

8. Florist- do you want more “traditional” bouquets and centerpieces or would you like something else? Are you looking for other decor rental? A lot of florists also offer vases, candles, and other decor to add to your order. Be sure to look through their portfolios! If you have a go-to florist you typically use, but are looking for a different style, show them some examples of what you would like and see if it is something they have experience with or feel comfortable doing. A lot of florists will do special designs that are outside of their norm but not show examples of this work on their Instagram or website because it isn’t “on brand.”

9. Dessert- what kind of dessert do you want, how do you want your cake to look, how many tiers do you wants the cake to have, will they deliver or do your desserts need to be picked up?

10. Hair and makeup- up-do, hair down, braiding, something in between, heavy contour makeup, natural look, something in between? Be sure to look through portfolios and ask for a trial run day! Trial runs are very important! Not just to make sure you like the styles they come up with but also to see how long your hair and makeup are holding up throughout the day.

11. Rentals- does the company offer unique pieces that will work with your venue, are the rates competitive with other comparable companies in your area, what will they charge for delivery, do they offer same day delivery and pick up, can they extend delivery and pick up is necessary?

Do your own research-

Recommendations from friends or professionals are a great place to start, but doing your own research to make sure they are a good fit for you is vital. Just because a friend or professional has had a good experience with someone, doesn’t mean they are going to be a great fit for you! Friends of friends may offer discounts, but if these people are not professionals then you may be wasting $400 instead of feeling good about spending $800. Ask to see pictures or videos of these “friendors” in action! If they do this professionally on the side, ask for a website or review site link! I’ve seen plenty of vendors that recommend other vendors that they haven’t worked with for a long time. Business quality can change overtime so it is important to confirm the recommended company is still worth your while!

Diversify your Research sources-

Conduct research from a few different angles. A quick google search might not yield the kind of options that you are looking for. WeddingWire, The Knot, Thumbtack, Facebook wedding groups, and sites like these will give you more diverse vendor options! Depending on the type of vendor you are looking for search on Instagram, too!

Always cross reference reviews-

Reviews can vary from platform to platform so it is important to cross reference and be sure that you are getting the most recent takes on the company. Some insight into review companies: anyone can leave a company reviews on Google so companies may ask their friends to leave reviews to raise their overall rating. WeddingWire is similar, but it is more challenging to leave a review on, so friends are less likely to pad the reviews for vendors. Yelp has an algorithm that is meant to weed out “fake” reviews, but a lot of real reviews are taken down in the process (there are also a lot of theories on their marketing approach that can also affect the reviews that show). Be sure to scroll down on the Yelp pages to the “unrecommended” section to read reviews that aren’t weighted in overall.

Read reviews with a different perspective-

Even if you like the quote a company sends and they have five stars across review platforms, be sure to read the reviews and look for consistencies. For example, if I’m looking for DJ/MCs and I see a lot of five star reviews saying how the MC "is really active on the mic,” I’m not going to send that company to a couple who really just wants music and a few key announcements.

Schedule phone or in-person meetings before booking-

It is important to feel comfortable on your wedding day and your vendors a huge part of your comfort! You will spend so much time with certain vendors on your actual wedding day, and even the ones that you won’t, they will still interact with guests! If you have a vendor that runs a little high strung, they may create unnecessary anxiety on your special day. A great way to accommodate this is to make sure your personalities mesh beforehand!

Read through your contracts very, very closely-

This is a legally binding document that should protect you as well as the vendor. Make sure that there is fine print written in about what will happen in the event of cancelation (on either the couple AND vendors part). Numbers and dates should be firm (I.e. by what date will you get sneak peek pics back, when can you expect the full album back, how many photos can you expect back, etc. These examples are specific to photos, but all contracts should be quantitative and clear. This does not apply when booking a wedding planner if you don’t already have a venue secured). A contract that doesn’t protect you is definitely a red flag!! If you find any of these issues and bring them up to a vendor and they are unwilling to adjust the contract to protect you, that is a major red flag and a good sign that you should continue your search!

Other notable tips:

1. A vendor’s experience doesn’t necessarily chalk up to quality of service! Just because someone hasn’t been working weddings specifically for a long time doesn’t mean they should be immediately counted out. If you like their style, food, etc., they are well informed on the effort that weddings take, and they are ready to do what it takes to do an awesome job on your wedding they are still worth considering. If you unsure about them, ask your wedding planner or coordinator! They may be able to offer valuable insight to make sure you are making the best decisions for your wedding!

2. Break up your search into several days. It is easy to get burnt out on sifting through vendors. Packages start to run together, things that would normally stick out become easy to overlook, and the whole experience may become less enjoyable.

3. Be thorough! Don’t settle! You can find the perfect vendor out there for you!

Be sure to check out my preferred vendors list to kick start your search!

Useful links:

Budget planning tips: https://www.theweddingplannerla.com/blog/wedding-budgeting-the-first-step-to-planning

My preferred vendors: https://www.theweddingplannerla.com/resources

Day of Packing List

Once you have all read through the decor packing and checklist, it is time to get yourself packed and ready!! Packing for your wedding is one of those tasks that is so important, but can’t really be done until a day or two before hand. Doing anything this last minute for a wedding can feel chaotic. Rest easy knowing you’ve thought of everything by following this packing list for the day and night of your wedding! Pro-tip: The girl scout motto rings truer than ever when it comes to weddings- ALWAYS BE PREPARED! As the lightest packer I know, trust me when I say when it comes to wedding day you’d much rather have something and not need it than need it and not have it!

What to pack if you’re getting ready at a hotel or venue:

• WEDDING DRESS!!! (with a hanger- a cute hanger is a great idea if possible! Photographers love to capture photos of your dress hanging before it goes on!)

• Marriage certificate!!!

• A backup outfit to wear later in the night (even if you aren’t planning a wardrobe change, bring something just in case!)

• Something to wear while getting your hair and make-up done- a robe or button-up that doesn’t need to be pulled over your head to take off is best! Remember, you will be taking A LOT of pictures while getting ready, so pick something cute!

• Snacks- or even a full breakfast or lunch depending how long you have set aside for getting ready, bottled water, and champagne or other alcohol (if the venue won't be supplying food and drinks- this is a great task to delegate to a bridesmaid or family member)

• Undergarments

• Back up undergarments

• Shoes

• Back up flats

• Your own makeup bag (always, always good to have just in case)

• Your own hair styling products and tools (again, best to be prepared for anything!)

• Tylenol or Excedrin

• Jewelry and accessories (don’t forget your garter if you are planning on a garter toss!!)

• Your “something old, borrowed, new and blue,” if you are choosing to partake in this tradition

• Emergency items: safety pins, tissues, first aid kit, sewing kit, even more feminine products, band-aids, breath mints, deodorant, double-stick tape, extra buttons, floss, super glue, scissors, etc. (This is a great task to delegate to a bridesmaid or family member!!)

• Tooth brush and tooth paste

• Hair brush/comb (a comb with wide and spread out bristles is better if you will have curls)

• Hair ties and bobby pins

• If you wear contacts: contact case, contact solution, back up pair of contacts, and glasses

• Anything you'd like to have photographed (save the dates and invitations make for great pictures! Sentimental items like a grandmothers necklace, are also great to have)

• Your own lipstick

• Chapstick

• Sunglasses

• Headphones (in case you need some quiet time)

• Phone charger

• Any cash payments ready in envelopes for final payments and/or tips for vendors

• Day of timeline with all vendor contact information

• Pen and paper

• NOTECARDS (for vows- notecards are the easiest way to write your vows. They are portable, don’t shake if you tremble, and are easy to write big enough on to clearly see)

• The rings!

• A ring box, if you are using one

• Bridal party gifts (make sure you have any jewelry or robes you intend for the bridesmaids to wear!)

• Clothes steamer for wrinkles

• Extra copy of the bride’s vows (put an extra copy in someone’s purse, email it to a bridesmaid, give a copy to your coordinator, just be sure to have another copy some where accessible just in case!!)

• Lint brush

• Nail polish in the same color you’re wearing

• Nail polish remover

• Rubbing alcohol

• Makeup remover (oil based is best when dealing with professional makeup)

• If you have long nails (especially hard gel or acrylic) bring coordinating press on nails in case one breaks or lifts off.

• Stain-remover wipes

• Water and a drinking straw (straws will save your lipstick- reusable straws save your lipstick AND the turtles)

• White chalk for covering up dress stains

• White gaffer’s tape to patch tears in your dress

• A speaker to play music on while you’re getting ready and a charger is necessary (need a great getting ready playlist? Check this one out on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6k5182a9AwPBGwUGmNbv7B?si=WY3_J-z1QOC3MYj4MCAO3A )

Wedding Over Night Bag:

• Toothbrush and toothpaste

• If you wear contacts: contact case, contact solution, back up pair of contacts, glasses (if this bag won’t be with you while you’re getting ready, be sure to pack all of this in your day of bag!)

• Hairbrush

• Make-up remover for some serious makeup - oil based ones are great for removing layers of makeup

• Wedding night lingerie if you were planning on wearing any (Being too tired to ever put it on is 100% possible, but better to be prepared!)

• Deodorant

• Second day outfit

• Second day underwear

• Second day shoes and accessories

• Flat shoes

• Comfy socks (no cold feet here!!)

• Pajamas

• A quality conditioner (especially necessary if you have a braid or will be in a windy area!)

• Moisturizer

• Feminine products

• Nail file

• Small scissors

• Your makeup bag

• Your perfume

• A mini speaker (and charger if necessary)

• Tylenol and/or Excedrin (depending on how prone you are to headaches)

• Any medication you take regularly

• Phone charger

• House keys

• Champagne! (Depending on where you are staying, you may want to consider calling ahead to the front desk to place something special out for you instead of taking up room in your luggage with this)

Useful links:

Decor packing/checklist: https://www.theweddingplannerla.com/blog/day-of-decorphoto-op-props-checklist

Wedding details checklist: https://www.theweddingplannerla.com/blog/managing-the-details-of-a-wedding

Spotify playlist for getting ready: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6k5182a9AwPBGwUGmNbv7B?si=WY3_J-z1QOC3MYj4MCAO3A

Wedding Planning Timeline Outline

Wedding planning is different for everyone and everyone operates on their own timeline. Some people are more comfortable having two years or longer to plan while others only take a few months to plan! This list is a general outline of a suggested timeframe to get the larger tasks done. Of course, you may not want all of these vendors or perhaps you want additional vendors. If you are unsure of how to work those vendors into this overview feel free to reach out! I’m always happy to guide people through the planning process!

I always start with my Full and Partial Planning clients by creating a customized planning outline for them. It is important for me to make sure that the outline both manageable but also realistic. We typically start broad, and then fill in the finer details to make sure everything is done, done well, and done in a timely manor so everyone is happy and no one is overwhelmed!

18-12 months before the wedding

• Have engagement party (typically hosted by family or close friends)

• Decide on a budget and determine what aspects of the wedding you value the most

  Pro-tip: everyone has different things they care about most for their wedding! Decide what you are most looking forward to and what you’d like to allocate a bigger portion of your budget to!

• Decide whether or not you want to purchase event insurance for both the day of (some venues will require this anyway) and also in the event you need to cancel or reschedule for any reason (illness, weather, etc.)

• Decide whether or not you want a wedding planner.

  Pro-tip: If you decide against one initially, but ultimately decide to go with one later on, plenty of planners offer partial planning options! If you are planning a destination wedding outside of your home country, a planner is critical!

• Decide on the time of year you’d like the wedding to take place

• Narrow the date down to a few options

  Pro-tip: unless you are 100% married to a date in your mind, find a few dates, or a range of dates, that you are open to! This will help if you decide on a high-demand venue with a tendency to book out far in advance!

• Create a rough outline of the guest list to help guide your venue search

  Pro-tip: Have at least a ballpark figure of how many guests you will host before you decide on a venue! Many venue’s can only accommodate a set number of guests, so it is important to find one that can hold all of your guests!

• Book a venue (both ceremony & reception spaces if you choose to have the ceremony at a separate location)

• Create day-of timeline draft

  Pro-tip: you can (and will!) make changes to this timeline as you work your way through planning, but having a general idea of the timing of key events on your wedding day will help as you book vendors!

12-8 months before the wedding

• Book caterer (if not included with the venue)

• Book photographer

  Pro-tip: it is best to do this before creating save the dates if you want to use pictures from the engagement pictures for your save the dates!

• Have engagement shoot with photographer

• Figure out what items are not provided by the venue or caterer and source them through a rental company

• Create wedding website for guests to find relevant information, registry, and RSVP.

• If the majority of your guests are traveling from out of town, create save the dates & send them!

• Begin looking for attire (i.e. wedding dress & tux/suit)

  Pro-tip: on average, wedding dresses are purchased 8 months prior to the wedding, but as long as it is purchased with enough time to have it altered (2-3 months prior) you will be okay.

• Ask friends/family to be in your bridal party

8-6 months before the wedding

• Book bartender if not included with the venue or caterer

• Book a florist and discuss what arrangements will work best with your budget and desired aesthetic

• Book videographer

• Book DJ or band for the reception and ceremony.

  Pro-tip: Remember, many ceremony locations will need an outside sound systems brought in. Make sure that if this is the case with your venue your DJ or musician can make this accommodation

• If most of your guests are local send your save the dates

• Create a room block for out of town guests

• Reserve transportation from hotel to venue and from venue to hotel for bridal party and other guests

• Find a seamstress to alter your dress (you won’t be able to alter this far out, but it is important to reserve your space, as many people will book up)

• Book day-of-coordinator if you have chosen not to have a full planner or if your planner does not include day of services

• Begin working on playlists & song choices for special moments/dances

6-4 months before the wedding

• Begin planning your honeymoon

• Pick out attire for bridesmaids & groomsmen

• Find hair and makeup artist(s) and have a trial run

  Pro-tip: trials aren’t meant to be perfect! They are learning experience for you and your makeup professional. Your professional is learning your skin tone, facial structure, and general preferences. You are learning how your preferred style translates to your face, how well your hair and makeup will hold up throughout the day, and, of course, figuring out if your hair and makeup team is able to hear your feedback and make adjustments accordingly. Now, if by the end of the trial the professional hasn’t earned your trust, of course, consider finding someone who can achieve your hair and makeup goals. It is much better to have this revelation during a trial than on your actual wedding day!

• Hire an officiant

• Order the wedding cake and/or other desserts

• Begin planning gifts for bridal party

• Make reservations at a hotel for bridal party, bride/groom, and family for the wedding night

• Select & order wedding rings

4-2 months before the wedding

• Pick out shoes to wear with your wedding dress

• Take dress to seamstress

• Begin writing wedding vows

• Begin planning bachelor/bachelorette parties

• Begin purchasing decor/personal touches OR decide on decor rental company

• Schedule rehearsal time with venue and reserve a location for rehearsal dinner

  Pro-tip: most venues will allow you to schedule this 45-90 days prior to your scheduled wedding day.

• Apply for marriage license

  Pro-tip: In California 9and many other states), you can apply for your marriage license up to 90 days in advance. Appointments can be difficult to come by! Be sure to schedule an appointment early!

• Design, order, & send invitations

  Pro-tip: If most of your guests are coming from out of town, send the invitations 3.5 months in advance. If most guests are local send invitations 2.5 months before the wedding. Either way, the RSVP date should be no less than 1.5 months prior to your wedding date.

  Pro-tip: RSVP dates should be no less than 1.5 months prior to the wedding, but ideally no more than 2.5 months in advance. 1.5 months allows you time to follow up with guests who haven’t RSVPd prior to any final head count dates w/ the venue, caterer, etc. Any date much more than 2.5 months in advance allows guests a lot of opportunity for things to come up that will change their RSVP response and you’ll find yourself needing to reconfirm numbers with vendors and reworking seating charts!

2-1 month before the wedding

• Bridal shower (typically family or bridal party will plan this)

• Bachelor/Bachelorette parties (if most of your bridal party will be traveling for the wedding, consider having these earlier so that you aren’t asking your friends to travel too much too close together)

• Make sure all bridal party have purchased or reserved their attire for the wedding

• If any bridal party needs alterations, these should be dropped off

• Plan party favors for guests and order the items you need

• RSVPs due- check in with guests who have not responded to invitations yet

• Have final venue walk through

• Create floor plan(s)

• Creating seating chart

• Decide on ceremony details:

  • Processional song(s)

  • Who will walk in your ceremony

  • What order they are walking in

  • Who will stand for your ceremony & the order they are standing in

  • Who will sit after walking in processional & where they will sit

  • If you want any special ceremonies, readings, songs, etc.

  • Recessional song

  • Who will participate in the recessional

  • Where you will go after you recess

  • Where your bridal party and/or family will go after you recess

  • Who your witnesses will be

  • Who will carry rings and vows for ceremony

1 month before the wedding

• Send all song requests to DJ

• Check in with vendors to confirm services, obtain insurance policies (if required by venue), and track any outstanding balances remaining

• Revise timeline & make sure it is up to date with your wants/needs & vendor contracted times

• Send timeline to vendors

• Collect vendor insurance information & share with venue

• Have final dress fitting (this way there is still time if any other alterations need to be made)

• Finalize and confirm all details of honeymoon

• Decide what order you will have bridal party walk for the ceremony and grand entrance

• Finalize floor plan with venue

• Check in with caterer to confirm headcount and finalize the details of the menu

• Pick up dress from alterations if it had to be left behind for further alterations

• Make sure all bridal party has picked up dresses/suits from alterations

• Pick out outfit for rehearsal dinner

3 weeks before the wedding

• Map out all decor and organize it into clearly marked boxes to ensure everything is set up properly on the day of your wedding

• Begin writing thank you notes for any gifts that have already been purchased from your registry

• Finalize wedding vows

• Finalize all song selections (i.e. first dance, parent dances, cake cutting, grand entrance, etc.)

2 weeks before the wedding

• Have final meeting with DJ to go over details

• Have final meeting with photo & video teams to go over details

• Finalize seating chart and transfer it to display form

  Pro-tip: this may seem a little last minute, but THINGS HAPPEN! Last minute guest cancellations and last minute guest confirmations come up so it is best to save this for as late as possible without letting it fall by the wayside!

1 week before the wedding

• Get hair done (color and cut)

• Create day-of checklist to make sure that no personal items or decor is left behind

• Get nails done

• If spray tanning, get spray tan (ideally 36-48 hrs prior to wedding)

• Prepare all bridal party gifts

1 day before the wedding

• Pack for wedding day/night

• Pack for honeymoon

• Have ceremony rehearsal

• Have rehearsal dinner

• Give bridal party gifts out at rehearsal dinner

• Go home. Sleep well

The wedding day

• Read through the timeline in the morning

• Be sure to eat!

• Get ready

• Get MARRIED!

• Have fun :)

DIY: Is it right for me, how much should I do, and how do I get started?

When getting started on wedding planning I think most people go through a few stages. Stage 1: excitement! You just got engaged and you’re stoked! Stage 2: overwhelmed. You jump on Pinterest, maybe do a little venue research and suddenly feel like there are 10 million decisions to make and have a quick panic. Stage 3: confidence. You book that first vendor and suddenly feel like you’re back on top of the wedding planning game. Stage 4-6: repeat stages 1-3 a few times. Stage 7: check in on how much you’ve spent and toy with the idea of cancelling everything and eloping instead. Stage 8: realize you don’t want to cancel your wedding and consider planting a garden so you can do your own wedding flowers for free. Stage 9: repeat stages 1-3 again. Stage 10: acceptance and love. Your wedding day comes and everything is okay, because you got to marry your person and that was all that ever mattered.

At some point in the wedding planning process most couples are faced with a choice: what can I DIY and what should I buy? I adore DIY Weddings. But, as much as it pains me, a huge focus of this blog will be “is DIY for me?” and “how much DIY is too much DIY?” We are going to tackle this topic by answering a few questions: first, “I want a DIY wedding will it work for me?” second, “what kind of things are easy to DIY?”, and finally, “is there a such thing as too much DIY?”

I WANT TO DIY BUT IS IT RIGHT FOR ME??

To figure this out you need to ask yourself a few questions:

• What time frame am I working with? Are you planning a wedding 2 years away or 6 months away?

• How much time every week will I be able to spend working on these projects? Maybe you are planning a wedding 2 years away but you work 60 hour weeks and won’t have as much time to spend. Maybe you are getting married in 6 months but have a lot of time to dedicate to wedding preparations.

• Am I crafty or is this new territory for me? Being already crafty is a huge plus, but don’t count yourself out on the DIY if you aren’t already into crafting. Just take into consideration, if you are new to crafting you may need a little more time and support to bring some of your ideas to life.

• What is my support system like? Think about your friends and family. Are they involved in your wedding planning? Do they have time to help you with projects? It is important to look at this really carefully. Remember, it is your wedding and nobody is going to care about it quite as much as you do. There is nothing wrong with that! But you want to make sure that you don’t lean too heavily on certain members of your support system or else they will burn out! So make sure you have enough people to delegate tasks to!

• Is my support system crafty or skilled in areas that will make this process smoother? Having a support system who is already great at crafting is a big bonus.

• Will I actually save money doing this? DIY can be a great way to save money, but it also can add up very quickly if you aren’t careful to track your spending.

• Will the money I save be worth the time I will spend? Sometimes the answer is yes. Sometimes it doesn’t even come down to money; maybe DIY is just a way to stay connected to your wedding throughout the planning process. Just be sure to have realistic expectations about how long some projects will take. 

• It is infinitely better to ask yourself these questions before you get going and realize that maybe you’ve bitten off a little more than you can chew. Or maybe are on the fence and by asking yourself these questions you found the inspiration to go for it! 

• Once you have worked through these questions and decided you would like to take on some (or maybe all) DIY projects, it is very helpful to come up with a clear vision for your wedding aesthetic. Even if you want a hodgepodge of eclectic decor, it is great to decide what kind of eclectic you want! All vintage items?  All boho items? Super modern and minimalist? Whatever you decide, try to do so before starting projects. It will make your life a lot easier, trust me.

What kind of things are easy to DIY?

You can DIY virtually every aspect involved with a wedding. From the venue, to the food, to the decorations, to the music, to the bar, literally every single aspect could be taken on as a project. That is all A LOT to take on, and most people don’t choose to DIY every single aspect. There are a few easy projects that you can take on yourself though. Table numbers, seating charts, wedding signs, party favors, and centerpieces rank among what I would consider to be the easiest.

• You can do Table numbers so many different ways. You can make this as simple or as involved as you would like. Some of the most common easy DIY table number tricks are

  • Printing out the numbers on card stock paper and clipping them into free standing picture holder. You can find these at any craft store, target, Walmart, or of course Amazon.

  • Printing the numbers out and putting them in picture frames

  • If you have access to a vinyl printer there are even more options, including staining wood planks and putting vinyl numbers on them. You can leave the wood raw or stain it to match your color scheme and aesthetic. Another idea is to use clear acrylic sheets and print the numbers on those. Make them stand by using the free standing picture holders on the bottom.  

  • If you don’t have a vinyl printer you can always order the vinyl numbers from Etsy and apply them yourself.

• Seating charts are also another relatively easy item to create on your own. There are plenty of approaches to take on this too.

  • The easiest way to do this is to create a seating chart on your computer and printing it out at Costco, Staples, or any big printing company. Check with your local stores to make sure they can print in the size you want (most are happy to print on large sturdy poster board). You can dress it up by downloading some layouts from Etsy or create your own design!

  • Finding or creating a structure that you can hang the table assignments from. I have a lovely copper structure that works amazing for this. I use some wire to string from side to side and then use mini clothespins (Dollar Tree sells packs of 50 for just a dollar) to hang the individual table assignments from.

  • You can also write your table assignments on a mirror or chalkboard paint pens, just be sure to measure out how much space you have first before writing.  Pro tip- while measuring, tape ribbon to the outside of the frame to create equally sized sections for your seats. This way you don’t make marks that need to be erased later and your sections are equal.

  • If you are going the rustic route, find an old pallet, stain it, and either hang printing table assignments using the techniques I mentioned earlier, or write them on with a paint pen!

• Wedding signs are also fairly easy to make! 

  • You can of course print them on poster board using the same place you choose to get your seating chart, if you choose to go that route.

  • You can also print the signs out and put them in picture frames! I always love this option. They look so cute and classy.

  • Another option is going to chalkboard route. You can either find cute frames and paint the glass part with chalkboard paint. A simpler option is to buy chalkboard signs from your local craft store.

  • You can also go the mirror sign route or the acrylic sign route. You can use paint pens on either of these or if you have access to a vinyl printer, printing vinyl letters always looks nice, too!

• DIYing party favors can be simple and is a really nice personal touch since these will be going home with guests. 

  • There are really so many routes to take on this one. You can make goody bags, koozies, something that relates specifically to you and your fiance’s life, some kind of homemade snack or craft, really the list just goes on and on.

  • My sister and her husband made these adorable little coasters by slicing a tree branch that fell in their backyard, sealing and staining them. 

  • A couple from a few weekends ago used small plastic drink shakers that they put their wedding date using vinyl letters. They filled the shaker with candy wrapped in their wedding colors.

  • Another couple used shot glasses that doubled as place cards for their guests. 

  • The possibilities are really endless.

• Centerpieces can be as easy or as intricate as you make them. We will talk about some more simple centerpiece options for now.

  • If you are choosing to not use a florist you and are going to do your own flowers (really a whole other DIY project that deserves its own podcast) you can find simple vases. I’m a big advocate for finding vases or candle holders from thrift stores. This is more cost effective and creates less waste.

  • You can also find vases and candle holders (including the large clear hurricane candle holders) from the Dollar Tree.

  • I’m always partial to upcycling. I love when people putting together more casual weddings use empty wine or beer bottles. Just take the labels off and you have got some amazing and unique vases!

  • There are SO many directions to go with these, so it is really helpful to have a clear vision of color and style that you want before you start collecting things.

Check out my Instagram @theweddingplannerla to get some ideas and more in depth tricks on how to create some of the DIY projects mentioned here

IS THERE SUCH A THING AS TOO MUCH DIY

A wedding is such a big milestone in your life. The day comes and goes so quickly, so doing small projects over a period of time to prepare for this moment is a great way to stay connected and truly savor this special time in your life. A lot of people take a year to two years to plan a wedding, and that’s a lot of time to get things done… or so it seems. So to answer our question “Is there such a thing as too much DIY?” we need to go back to the questions you asked yourself in the beginning of this blog. 

There are plenty of people out there that can really pull off incredibly involved 100% DIY weddings. This requires an incredible amount of time and discipline. If you have a lot of support that really does go a long way, too. You could also DIY 100% of your wedding but go the very simplistic, minimalist route. This vibe has been very popular lately, too. Just because you can DIY everything, doesn’t necessarily mean that you should. If your reasons are purely budget related, make sure you weigh all options. By the time you are done DIYing things, you may just end up spending more than if you had gone the rental or all inclusive venue route. If you really just love projects and you have the time and the support, then GO FOR It. Again, little projects wedding related are a great way to stay connected to such a monumental event in your life, especially when you start planning a long time in advance.

So what happens when you start a DIY project and it isn’t coming out how you pictured? 

• I have two very opposite philosophies for you:

  • 1st, did you ever read the book “A beautiful oops” as a child? Basically, the idea, is in art, there is no such thing as a mistake, just an “oops” that might change your outcome from what you expected, but the outcome will still be beautiful. 

    • When you are working on your DIY projects, be kind to yourself. Just because your craft isn’t looking just like what you saw on Pinterest doesn’t mean that it isn’t beautiful. Perhaps it your trial and errors you will come up with something completely unique!

  • 2nd, have you ever heard of the sunk cost fallacy? Sorry, this is going to get a little philosophical, but I think this is relevant to many aspects of wedding planning. The Sunk Cost Fallacy is the idea that because you spent time and mney on something, it is better to see it through to the end, instead of quitting when you realize its not working. 

    • When you are working on a project and it simply isn’t working, don’t keep pouring time and resources into it. Those resources and time could be used to work on a different project that you will LOVE!

  • I told you those ideologies are complete opposites, but they are both really great to keep in your mind and balance between while working on your DIY projects.

No matter what you decide to DIY or not DIY your wedding will be beautiful and unique because it is yours! I’d love to hear all about your projects and just generally how wedding planning is going! Shoot me an email at theweddingplannerla@gmail.com to let me know how the process is going for you!

Making your Wedding YOURS: The Ins and Outs of Wedding Customization

Congrats on your engagement! What an exciting time and FUN new hobby you have. Wedding planning is such a unique task of life. There are so many different stylistic directions you can go in, so many different rabbits to chase. But how can you make sure that your wedding is truly reflecting you and your fiance’s personality? Well, the possibilities are endless! Here are a few things to consider when creating YOUR vision.

1. Party size- are you and your fiance wanting a huge party with lots of loved ones surrounding you? Or are you both more of the low key type, who would prefer an intimate wedding or even an elopement? There are no right or wrong answers here, it is just what you both want. If you both have different temperaments and one would like a big wedding and the other small, consider a compromise. You can have a small intimate ceremony with a larger reception to follow. Or even an elopement with a larger reception at a later date!

2. Venue- are you more of the classic-romantic-indoor-golf-course type people? Maybe you are more of the boho-beach type? Perhaps you could only ever see yourself getting married in a vineyard? Again- the only correct answer is to find a place that matches YOU and YOUR FIANCE’s vision. If you both have very different ideas of where you’d like to be married, don’t worry! There are so many venues that offer combinations of certain elements that can make everyone happy. If you want a beach wedding but your fiance wants a wedding in the woods, consider somewhere in Malibu or even further north on the west coast. If you want a wedding in vineyard but your fiance wants a wedding at a hotel ballroom, consider a vineyard with a gorgeous indoor reception area. There is bound to be a compromise out there, no matter how different your visions may be.

3. Style- There are plenty of amazing themed and styled weddings out there to use for inspiration, but don’t forget to put your own personal touch on it! Wedding “styles” and “themes” are only a thing because someone at sometime thought a certain combination of items would be pretty together. Don’t be afraid to be a pioneer! One of my favorite weddings I worked incorporated small gold dinosaurs all over the place because they were both archeologists! Conventional? Of course not. Cool and memorable? You bet! At my own wedding we had a petting zoo and beer donkey’s, because we love animals and wanted to be surrounded by them on our wedding day! Even if you love the rustic look, or the boho vibe, or the classic romantic wedding idea there are so many ways to incorporate your own personality into the decor.

4. Food- there is absolutely no rules when it comes to food. If you want a plated dinner of chicken and fish go for it. If you are more of a pizza person, get a pizza buffet. If you just want your wedding to be super casual have a potluck! Just find something that works for you, matches your personality, and matches your vision. (Full disclaimer: I don’t recommend a food truck or buffet with a larger wedding. The lines can get long and it takes a lot of time- BUT that is only my opinion!)

5. Flowers- Do you love flowers and want a million? Have them! If you hate flowers then don’t have a single one. Find a color scheme that fits you and run with it. If yellow and purple are your favorite colors, GO FOR IT! If you just want white roses and greenery, that it totally fine too.

6. Wedding attire- You want to find something to wear that you can be comfortable in, but you also want to find something you feel your very best in. For some people that may be a bright white dress with a beautiful princess skirt. For others that may be a sleek crepe formfitting dress. For others it may be a cool suit. You don’t need to dress like anything you are not just because “its a wedding.” your fiance wants to marry YOU because they love YOU and that includes your personal style.

7. Dancing- One of my favorite weddings I have ever worked had ZERO dancing. They planned a wedding that was around food and conversation. I personally LOVE to dance and made it the largest time allocation for my wedding. You know yourself, your fiance, and your friends. Is that something that is important to you all or are you not into dancing?

8. Special dances- I am asked about these a lot both as coordinator and a DJ. Not all families are the same. You do not have to dance with a parent if they are not a part of your life anymore. If you still want to do a dance, dance with a brother, cousin, other parent, aunt, uncle, anyone who has had a big and positive impact on your life. If you don’t want to share a “spotlight moment” with anyone skip it altogether! It will be totally fine and no one will notice.

9. Other “traditional” wedding events- are uncomfortable with the thought of your new husband swimming through your dress in front of your whole family, there is no need to do a garter toss! If you don’t want to do a first dance, skip it! If you don’t want to eat cake while everyone is watching you, don’t do the cake cutting, or skip the announcement so it isn’t a spectacle. If you want to add extra events, like the shoe game, or extra special dances, that is totally fine too. Traditions weren’t traditions until someone started them. So start your own!

10. The bar- to open the bar or to not open the bar, that is the question (kind of). There are a lot of variations of this (i.e having an open bar for cocktail hour and then a paid bar for the rest of the night, only providing champagne for a champagne toast, or having a dry wedding). Take your preferences, your fiance’s preferences, and your friends and families interests. If you think having an open bar is going to keep people dancing all night, go for it! If you don’t want an open bar, that’s fine too (just let your guests know ahead of time).