Making your Wedding YOURS: The Ins and Outs of Wedding Customization
Congrats on your engagement! What an exciting time and FUN new hobby you have. Wedding planning is such a unique task of life. There are so many different stylistic directions you can go in, so many different rabbits to chase. But how can you make sure that your wedding is truly reflecting you and your fiance’s personality? Well, the possibilities are endless! Here are a few things to consider when creating YOUR vision.
Party size- are you and your fiance wanting a huge party with lots of loved ones surrounding you? Or are you both more of the low key type, who would prefer an intimate wedding or even an elopement? There are no right or wrong answers here, it is just what you both want. If you both have different temperaments and one would like a big wedding and the other small, consider a compromise. You can have a small intimate ceremony with a larger reception to follow. Or even an elopement with a larger reception at a later date!
Venue- are you more of the classic-romantic-indoor-golf-course type people? Maybe you are more of the boho-beach type? Perhaps you could only ever see yourself getting married in a vineyard? Again- the only correct answer is to find a place that matches YOU and YOUR FIANCE’s vision. If you both have very different ideas of where you’d like to be married, don’t worry! There are so many venues that offer combinations of certain elements that can make everyone happy. If you want a beach wedding but your fiance wants a wedding in the woods, consider somewhere in Malibu or even further north on the west coast. If you want a wedding in vineyard but your fiance wants a wedding at a hotel ballroom, consider a vineyard with a gorgeous indoor reception area. There is bound to be a compromise out there, no matter how different your visions may be.
Style- There are plenty of amazing themed and styled weddings out there to use for inspiration, but don’t forget to put your own personal touch on it! Wedding “styles” and “themes” are only a thing because someone at sometime thought a certain combination of items would be pretty together. Don’t be afraid to be a pioneer! One of my favorite weddings I worked incorporated small gold dinosaurs all over the place because they were both archeologists! Conventional? Of course not. Cool and memorable? You bet! At my own wedding we had a petting zoo and beer donkey’s, because we love animals and wanted to be surrounded by them on our wedding day! Even if you love the rustic look, or the boho vibe, or the classic romantic wedding idea there are so many ways to incorporate your own personality into the decor.
Food- there is absolutely no rules when it comes to food. If you want a plated dinner of chicken and fish go for it. If you are more of a pizza person, get a pizza buffet. If you just want your wedding to be super casual have a potluck! Just find something that works for you, matches your personality, and matches your vision. (Full disclaimer: I don’t recommend a food truck or buffet with a larger wedding. The lines can get long and it takes a lot of time- BUT that is only my opinion!)
Flowers- Do you love flowers and want a million? Have them! If you hate flowers then don’t have a single one. Find a color scheme that fits you and run with it. If yellow and purple are your favorite colors, GO FOR IT! If you just want white roses and greenery, that it totally fine too.
Wedding attire- You want to find something to wear that you can be comfortable in, but you also want to find something you feel your very best in. For some people that may be a bright white dress with a beautiful princess skirt. For others that may be a sleek crepe formfitting dress. For others it may be a cool suit. You don’t need to dress like anything you are not just because “its a wedding.” your fiance wants to marry YOU because they love YOU and that includes your personal style.
Dancing- One of my favorite weddings I have ever worked had ZERO dancing. They planned a wedding that was around food and conversation. I personally LOVE to dance and made it the largest time allocation for my wedding. You know yourself, your fiance, and your friends. Is that something that is important to you all or are you not into dancing?
Special dances- I am asked about these a lot both as coordinator and a DJ. Not all families are the same. You do not have to dance with a parent if they are not a part of your life anymore. If you still want to do a dance, dance with a brother, cousin, other parent, aunt, uncle, anyone who has had a big and positive impact on your life. If you don’t want to share a “spotlight moment” with anyone skip it altogether! It will be totally fine and no one will notice.
Other “traditional” wedding events- are uncomfortable with the thought of your new husband swimming through your dress in front of your whole family, there is no need to do a garter toss! If you don’t want to do a first dance, skip it! If you don’t want to eat cake while everyone is watching you, don’t do the cake cutting, or skip the announcement so it isn’t a spectacle. If you want to add extra events, like the shoe game, or extra special dances, that is totally fine too. Traditions weren’t traditions until someone started them. So start your own!
The bar- to open the bar or to not open the bar, that is the question (kind of). There are a lot of variations of this (i.e having an open bar for cocktail hour and then a paid bar for the rest of the night, only providing champagne for a champagne toast, or having a dry wedding). Take your preferences, your fiance’s preferences, and your friends and families interests. If you think having an open bar is going to keep people dancing all night, go for it! If you don’t want an open bar, that’s fine too (just let your guests know ahead of time).