Bridal Shower Planning Guide

A bridal shower is a great milestone in the wedding preparation journey for the bride to enjoy the company of friends and family before the wedding! The bridal shower is different from the bachelorette party in that it is typically shorter and a more “tame” gathering. Follow the guide below, or share it with the event host, for a smooth bridal shower planning experience!

Why have a bridal shower-

A bridal shower is a party where friends and family gather to shower the bride with gifts! Much like a baby shower functions as a chance to prepare an expecting mother for a life transition, the bridal shower is meant to provide the bride with gifts that will help prepare her for the upcoming life changes that marriage will bring. While the primary function of this event is to dote upon the bride, it is also a fun opportunity to play games, introduce friends from different walks of life, and build memories!

When should the bridal shower be?

Bridal showers typically occur in the final few months, or even weeks, before the wedding. It is best to schedule this just before the final stages of planning take up all of the bride’s free time! Scheduling this party 30-45 days prior to the wedding is ideal!

The bridal shower will typically occur during daylight hours as opposed to being a nighttime event. 

Example bridal shower planning timeline-

3 months prior to wedding- 

Set a budget for the bridal shower

Create a guest list for the bridal shower

Gather addresses or email addresses of the guests

Decide on the general “feel” for the bridal shower (formal, casual, something in between?)

Find a venue to host the shower

2 months prior to wedding-

Plan the food and drink menus

Send out invitations to bridal shower

Find decor for bridal shower

Select attire for bridal shower

Book any necessary vendors

Plan activities for the bridal shower

1 month prior to wedding-

Purchase bar and food materials

Purchase flowers & decor

Host bridal shower

Who hosts the bridal shower?

More often than not the bridesmaids, bride or groom’s mother, or another close friend or family member will host the bridal shower. It is uncommon for the bride to host this event for herself since the primary function is to shower the bride with gifts.

How should I invite people?

As always, there are no set rules. Sending formal invitations by mail is great if you have the time and budget, but not necessary by any means! For bridal showers, it is a more recent trend to create a cute virtual invite that is distributed via email. This bridges the gap between official invitations and something that requires less effort. This also provides the opportunity to link a registry directly on the invitation so guests can conveniently click the link and purchase a gift!

Who should be invited?

The etiquette guru, Miss Manners, says you can only invite people who are invited to the wedding and I have to agree with her on this one. Unlike the engagement or bachelorette party, the bridal shower’s main purpose is for people to bring you gifts. Inviting someone to give the bride a gift, but not the wedding is a bit rude.

Traditionally this is a women only event, but this is changing more and more everyday. The invites can be extended to all the womyn invited to the wedding who are particularly close friends with the bride. The best rule of thumb is to limit the guest list to only the bride’s closest family and friends. Remember, the bride’s family is growing with the wedding! It is completely normal and acceptable to invite people from the groom’s side of the family if the relationship allows!

Here is a general outline of who is typically invited:

• The bridesmaids

• The womyn the bride is close with in her immediate families 

• The womyn the bride is close with in her extended families

• Close friends in the area who are also invited to the wedding. This isn’t an event that people would typically travel for, so if you have close friends in the area add them to the list!

Pro-tip #1: If you invite some immediate or extended family, you DO NOT have to invite them all. Invite whoever makes sense in the bride’s unique situation.

Pro-tip #2: The groom doesn’t usually attend the bridal shower. He often will make an appearance at some point, but typically doesn’t stay for the duration of the party.

What information should the invitations include?

As always, names, date, location, and time will need to be included on the invitation. The host should also specify what kind of refreshments can be expected (appetizers only, full dinner, hosted bar, BYOB, no alcohol, etc.). Depending on what kind of theme you are going with, the headline on the invitation can communicate this information. For example, “Brunch and Bubbly Bridal Shower” or “I Do BBQ.”

Guests are expected to bring gifts, so be sure to include the bride’s wedding registry on the invitation.

Who should pay for the bridal shower?

The cost of the bridal shower typically will fall on the hostess(es). This can vary on a case by case basis depending on financial situations. The bride is never expected to pay for any portion of the bridal shower, though, on very rare occasions may be asked to contribute on certain items. For example, if the person hosting the event does not personally drink alcohol and doesn’t feel comfortable paying for it for guests, the bride may be asked to provide the alcohol. Typically the host would ask someone else close to the bride before coming to the bride with this request, though. Much like the actual wedding, budget isn’t what defines the day. The most important aspect is celebrating your love while surrounded by the people who mean the most to you! (See the end of blog for full example budget breakdowns.)

Where should the bridal shower be hosted?

The bridal shower can be hosted in any venue, it will just depend on the size of the guest list and access to space. While the event can be as formal or informal as the hostess(es) would like, the shower is often thrown in the maid of honor or a family member’s home or backyard. If the hostess(es) does not have space, or just isn’t into the idea of having this kind of gathering in their personal space, a restaurant or smaller venue is always an option! Since this event doesn’t typically include a full meal, choosing to host at a venue might add unnecessary cost.

The bridal shower is usually thrown in the city that the hostess(es) is local to. This may not be the city the bride lives in, so she will need to travel to party. This isn’t typically an event people besides the bride would travel for, so potential guests living outside of the hostess(es) city may not make sense to invite. That is okay! Communicate with those friends and family so they understand why they aren’t receiving an invitation!

What should we do at the bridal shower?

Opening the presents is the primary activity of a bridal shower. Typically around ⅔ of the way through the party everyone will gather around the bride as she opens gifts. Since dinner isn’t usually provided, a few other activities will take place to keep guests entertained and engaged. Since the guests are generously offering gifts to the bride, the groom will often make a quick appearance to say hello and thank everyone. During his appearance, there are several games to play that will include him! Some ideas include the shoe game, a Q & A with the bride(s) and groom(s), or a date night guessing game! For a full list of ideas, click here to visit our Pinterest page! No matter what kind of activities are planned, it is always nice if the guest of honor can make a quick thank you speech. The bridesmaids and/or the bride’s family have typically offered a lot of support leading up to this point aside from hosting the shower and it is always nice for the bride to show her appreciation!

Example bridal shower timeline

• 1pm- Guests arrive. Everyone mingles, make appetizer plates, grabs their drinks, and makes anonymous date night suggestion.

• 1:30pm- Game 1: “Guess the Dress” game

• 1:45pm- Host reminds everyone to enter ideas into the anonymous date night suggestions

• 1:45pm- Toasts from mother of the groom, mother of the bride, grandma, and bridesmaid who won’t give a toast at the wedding

• 2pm- Slide show of friends/family pictures viewing

• 2:15pm- Game 2: Bride reads anonymous date night suggestions aloud and guesses who made each suggestion

• 2:45pm- Groom arrives, says hello

• 3pm- Game 3: Shoe game with Groom

• 3:15pm- Groom leaves

• 3:15pm- Bride opens presents (maid of honor tracks gifts for thank you notes)

• 3:45pm- Group picture

• 4pm- Bridal shower concludes

Is a full dinner expected at the bridal shower?

Everyone appreciates a nice full meal, but it isn’t expected nor is it the norm at bridal showers. Just be sure the hostess(es) specifies either way on the invitation so guests can plan accordingly!

Typically light refreshments are offered. Some ideas include a cheese board, fruit/veggie platters, chips and dips, cupcakes, cookies, or anything else that is easy to grab and snack on. If you want something cost effective, but a little more filling consider thinly sliced pizzas, pasta salads, hamburger sliders, or even mini tacos! For beverages, a few common trends are mimosa bars, pre-batched cocktails or mocktails, wine and/or wine spritzers, or build your own Bloody Mary bars. For a list of food and beverage ideas and display inspiration click here!

What should be included in the budget?

This completely depends on what the hostess(es) chooses to include! Below are some typical things to consider budgeting for:

• Catering/food

• Tables, chairs, plates, cups, flatware, napkins, etc. 

• Bar/drinks

• Cake/dessert

• Invitations

• Decor

• Miscellaneous 

Of course there are endless approaches to maximize any budget! Below are 3 example budgets for Bridal showers.

Example 1 (the “bells and whistles” example)- overall budget $9k

40 guests, 3 hour party

• Party Planner- $850

• Venue (mother of the bride’s backyard)- FREE

• Caterer (Cheese/fruit grazing board)- $2k

• Bar (mimosa & bloody mary bar w/ bartender)- @ $15/person = $600

• Cake from speciality bakery (2 tier 6” base, 4” top tier)- $450

• Cupcake and macaroon display- $200

• Ice cream caddy & attendant- $200

• Photographer- $500

• Music/entertainment (Live guitarist & singer)- $625

• Rentals- $500

  • 4 large floor tables (low the the ground)- $120

  • Festive carpeting to go below table- $150

  • Cushions for everyone to sit on- $120

  • 1 large wicker peacock chair- $50

  • Delivery- $60

• Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$2/household = $70

• Decor- $1,650

  • 2 large balloon displays @$200/arrangement = $400

  • 2 small balloon arrangements to accent bar and dessert table = $200

  • Florist (4 centerpieces & 4 small accent arrangements for signs & special tables)- $800

  • Signage (custom neon welcome sign, bar sign, cards and gifts sign etc.)- $250

• Miscellaneous- $1,150

  • Photo booth (2 hrs)- $250

  • Party favors (ex. Spa goodie bags)- @$20/each = $800

  • Gift & activity table (sign, card box, etc.)- $100

TOTAL: $8,795

Example 2 (the “mid range backyard” example)- overall budget $1.2k

40 guests, 3 hour party

• Venue (MOH backyard/patio/living room)- FREE

• Veggie/fruit/easy apps- $200

• Bar (DIY mimosa bar & pre batched cocktails)- $350

  • 1 pre batched cocktail (ex. Vodka/Grapefruit)

  • 2 handles of mid-range vodka @$40/handle = $80

  • Grapefruit juice $30

  • 1 case mid-range champagne @ $15/btl $180

  • Orange juice/guava/other juice $40

  • Ice for cocktails = $20

• Cake (single tier cake from local grocer)- $35

• Cupcake display (homemade)- $15

• Rentals (tables, chairs)- $300

  • 4 tables & table cloths @$30/table = $120

  • 40 chairs @ $3/chair = $120

  • Delivery- $60

• Music/entertainment (make your own playlist and play through your own speaker)- FREE

• Invitations (Send out email with curated digital invite)- FREE

• Decor- $50

  • DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 5 bushels @ $5/bushel = $25

  • Dollar store vases 1 per table @$1/each = $4

  • Candles & dollar tree candle votives (2 per table)- $2/each = $8

• Miscellaneous- $250

  • Party favors (ex. Goodie bag)- @$5/each = $200

  • Gift table (sign, card box, etc.)- $50

TOTAL: $1,200

Example 3 (the “ballin’ on a budget” example)- overall budget $300

40 guests, 3 hour party

• Venue (MOH backyard/patio/living room)- FREE

• Veggie/fruit/pretzels/hummus/chips/dip- $50

• Bar (DIY mimosa bar & pre batched cocktails)- $170

  • 1 pre batched cocktail (ex. Vodka/Grapefruit)

  • 2 handles of inexpensive vodka @$20/handle = $40

  • Grapefruit juice $30

  • 1 case inexpensive champagne @ $5/btl $60

  • Orange juice $20

  • Ice for cocktails $20

• Tables/chairs (use MOH existing furniture) FREE

• Disposable plates & napkins- $5

• Cupcake & cookie display (homemade)- $25

• Music/entertainment (make your own playlist and play through your own speaker)- FREE

• Invitations (Send out email with curated digital invite)- FREE

• Decor- $50

  • DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 3 bushels @ $5/bushel = $15

  • Amazon decor purchases $20

  • Print signs from computer FREE

TOTAL: $300

As you can see, the cost of the third example can easily decrease by skipping the alcohol, only offering BYOB, cutting out all decor, and/or skipping dessert. Basically this is all to say, no budget is too small!

Note: These numbers may seem intimidating. Usually, all of your bridesmaids will split the cost of these items. If you have 6 bridesmaids, the price per person is much more manageable. Also keep in mind, 40 guests for a bridal shower is on the larger side of average. Invite less people to get the cost down! 

Day of Decor/Photo Op Props Checklist

As you think through your wedding day and are organizing the pieces you have bought or rented, work through this list to make sure you have accounted for everything! This will be particularly helpful as you are in those final stages and packing everything up to be moved to the venue! Remember, every wedding is unique and you may not want to incorporate some of these pieces. If you don’t want some piece, don’t force it just because it is on this list! If you have planned for other pieces, feel free to copy and paste this then add in your own specific bullet points.

Getting Ready Space:

• Food

• Something to serve food on

• Plates

• Napkins

• Drinks

• Something to serve drinks from

• Something to drink drinks from

• Signage

• Invitation/Save the Dates (for pictures)

• Speakers to play music from

• Phone or other device to play music from (pro tip: if you are getting ready in a place that won’t have wifi or cell reception download your playlist ahead of time!)

• Special hanger for dress

• Something to wear while getting ready

Ceremony:

• Altar flowers

• Altar Floor decor

• Aisle decor

• Ceremony programs

• Table for special ceremonies (i.e. sand ceremony, glass ceremony, wine ceremony, etc.)

• Decor for special ceremony table

• Signs (welcome, unplugged ceremony signs, etc.)

• Easel for signs

Cocktail Hour:

Gift table

• Linen

• Sign for gift table

• Card box

• Guest book

• Pen(s) for guest book

• Something to hold pens

• Decor for gift table

• Flowers for gift table

Appetizer table

• Linen

• Signs/labels for apps

• Serving utensils for apps

• Plates

• Forks

• Napkins

Self service drink station table

• Linen

• Drink dispenser

• Labels for beverages

• Cups

Bar

• Bar menu

• Flowers

Reception Area:

Seating chart

• Easel for seating chart

• Flowers to dress up easel

Place card table

• Linen

• Place cards

• Sign for place cards

• Flowers

• Other decor

Cake/dessert table

• Linen

• Display for cake

• Cake topper

• Serving set of cake knife and server

• Plates for cake

• Forks for cake

• Napkins

• Cake stand(s)

• Other display items for other desserts

• Other decor

• Flowers

Sweetheart table

• Linen

• Special plates

• Special cups

• Flatware

• Napkins

• Flowers for the top of table

• Other decor for top of table

• Flowers for front of table

• Other decor for front of table

Guest tables

• Linen

• Flowers

• Candles

• Table number

• Table number stands

• Other decor/personal touches

• Plates

• Flatware

• Drinkware

• Napkins

Making your Wedding YOURS: The Ins and Outs of Wedding Customization

Congrats on your engagement! What an exciting time and FUN new hobby you have. Wedding planning is such a unique task of life. There are so many different stylistic directions you can go in, so many different rabbits to chase. But how can you make sure that your wedding is truly reflecting you and your fiance’s personality? Well, the possibilities are endless! Here are a few things to consider when creating YOUR vision.

1. Party size- are you and your fiance wanting a huge party with lots of loved ones surrounding you? Or are you both more of the low key type, who would prefer an intimate wedding or even an elopement? There are no right or wrong answers here, it is just what you both want. If you both have different temperaments and one would like a big wedding and the other small, consider a compromise. You can have a small intimate ceremony with a larger reception to follow. Or even an elopement with a larger reception at a later date!

2. Venue- are you more of the classic-romantic-indoor-golf-course type people? Maybe you are more of the boho-beach type? Perhaps you could only ever see yourself getting married in a vineyard? Again- the only correct answer is to find a place that matches YOU and YOUR FIANCE’s vision. If you both have very different ideas of where you’d like to be married, don’t worry! There are so many venues that offer combinations of certain elements that can make everyone happy. If you want a beach wedding but your fiance wants a wedding in the woods, consider somewhere in Malibu or even further north on the west coast. If you want a wedding in vineyard but your fiance wants a wedding at a hotel ballroom, consider a vineyard with a gorgeous indoor reception area. There is bound to be a compromise out there, no matter how different your visions may be.

3. Style- There are plenty of amazing themed and styled weddings out there to use for inspiration, but don’t forget to put your own personal touch on it! Wedding “styles” and “themes” are only a thing because someone at sometime thought a certain combination of items would be pretty together. Don’t be afraid to be a pioneer! One of my favorite weddings I worked incorporated small gold dinosaurs all over the place because they were both archeologists! Conventional? Of course not. Cool and memorable? You bet! At my own wedding we had a petting zoo and beer donkey’s, because we love animals and wanted to be surrounded by them on our wedding day! Even if you love the rustic look, or the boho vibe, or the classic romantic wedding idea there are so many ways to incorporate your own personality into the decor.

4. Food- there is absolutely no rules when it comes to food. If you want a plated dinner of chicken and fish go for it. If you are more of a pizza person, get a pizza buffet. If you just want your wedding to be super casual have a potluck! Just find something that works for you, matches your personality, and matches your vision. (Full disclaimer: I don’t recommend a food truck or buffet with a larger wedding. The lines can get long and it takes a lot of time- BUT that is only my opinion!)

5. Flowers- Do you love flowers and want a million? Have them! If you hate flowers then don’t have a single one. Find a color scheme that fits you and run with it. If yellow and purple are your favorite colors, GO FOR IT! If you just want white roses and greenery, that it totally fine too.

6. Wedding attire- You want to find something to wear that you can be comfortable in, but you also want to find something you feel your very best in. For some people that may be a bright white dress with a beautiful princess skirt. For others that may be a sleek crepe formfitting dress. For others it may be a cool suit. You don’t need to dress like anything you are not just because “its a wedding.” your fiance wants to marry YOU because they love YOU and that includes your personal style.

7. Dancing- One of my favorite weddings I have ever worked had ZERO dancing. They planned a wedding that was around food and conversation. I personally LOVE to dance and made it the largest time allocation for my wedding. You know yourself, your fiance, and your friends. Is that something that is important to you all or are you not into dancing?

8. Special dances- I am asked about these a lot both as coordinator and a DJ. Not all families are the same. You do not have to dance with a parent if they are not a part of your life anymore. If you still want to do a dance, dance with a brother, cousin, other parent, aunt, uncle, anyone who has had a big and positive impact on your life. If you don’t want to share a “spotlight moment” with anyone skip it altogether! It will be totally fine and no one will notice.

9. Other “traditional” wedding events- are uncomfortable with the thought of your new husband swimming through your dress in front of your whole family, there is no need to do a garter toss! If you don’t want to do a first dance, skip it! If you don’t want to eat cake while everyone is watching you, don’t do the cake cutting, or skip the announcement so it isn’t a spectacle. If you want to add extra events, like the shoe game, or extra special dances, that is totally fine too. Traditions weren’t traditions until someone started them. So start your own!

10. The bar- to open the bar or to not open the bar, that is the question (kind of). There are a lot of variations of this (i.e having an open bar for cocktail hour and then a paid bar for the rest of the night, only providing champagne for a champagne toast, or having a dry wedding). Take your preferences, your fiance’s preferences, and your friends and families interests. If you think having an open bar is going to keep people dancing all night, go for it! If you don’t want an open bar, that’s fine too (just let your guests know ahead of time).