Alexa Lewis 5/13/20 Alexa Lewis 5/13/20

Preparing and Planning Your Wedding Ceremony

Your wedding ceremony is the start to your married life. This is what guests are here to celebrate! Follow this guide to make sure your ceremony is the perfect beginning to your wedding celebration and life as a married couple!

This guide is divided into 3 sections:

Writing your wedding ceremony
Walking order for the ceremony
A series of Pro-tips on things to consider when planning your ceremony

This guide is divided into 3 sections:

Writing your wedding ceremony
Walking order for the ceremony
A series of Pro-tips on things to consider when planning your ceremony

Writing your wedding ceremony

Typically the person officiating your wedding will prepare the wedding ceremony, but there are plenty of reasons you may need to create your own. When it comes to writing a wedding ceremony, there are very few rules. The only piece you absolutely need is an exchange of some sort of committal statement that both parties involved in the marriage recite. This is the “Do you X, take X to be your lawfully wedded...“ part of the ceremony. Even this part can be customized, but there are a few basic sentiments that need to be included.The rest is completely up to you!

A standard flow to a wedding ceremony is as follows:

Guests asked to take their seats (usually about 5-10 minutes prior to the ceremony start time, depending on how many guests you are expecting)
Everyone participating in the ceremony is lined up (usually this includes the wedding party, immediate family, flower girl, ring bearer, bride(s), and/or groom(s)- (the order everyone walks in will be discussed in the next section of this guide).
The processional starts (this is the music that everyone will walk down the aisle to) and everyone enters in their pre-discussed order to their predetermined locations
Everyone except the bride and her escort(s) (if she chooses to have any) are in their places, whether it be seats or at the altar
The bride and her escort(s) walk down the aisle
The officiant welcomes & thanks everyone in attendance
(in a religious ceremony) the officiant leads a prayer.
The officiant introduces themself & describes their significance in the ceremony (they may describe their friendship with the bride(s) and/or groom(s), their role as a religious leader, what qualifies them to lead this ceremony, etc.)
The officiant tells a personal anecdote about the bride(s) and/or groom(s) (This can be anything! Sometimes it is a story of how the couple met, a description of a common theme throughout their relationship, a funny story they shared with the officiant, etc.)
Words of wisdom are offered to the couple (this can either be advice coming directly from the officiant, a reading- religious or other- by a friend or family member, or a meaningful song either played or performed live by a musician or friend/family member, etc.)
Special ceremonies typically occur next if they occur at all (i.e. sand ceremony, cord ceremony, candle lighting ceremony, glass ceremony, etc.)
The couple will exchange vows (this can be standard vows or personal vows prepared by the couple)
The couple exchanges rings (this is the “I Do’s” part!)
Final closing thoughts from the officiant (this can be a closing prayer, well wishes to the couple, etc.)
The pronouncement of the marriage (“I now pronounce you…”)
The kiss
The recessional music begins (exit song) and the couple exits together
Once the couple is all the way back up the aisle the bridal party follows them
Following the bridal party’s exit, the ushers will escort immediate family members up the aisle
Once all family members are back up the aisle, the officiant announces that guests are released and gives direction on what to do next (head to cocktail hour, leave for the reception venue, pose for a group picture, etc.)

While this is a common ceremony flow, you can choose to rearrange this however you want. Certain religions will have additional traditions incorporated throughout the ceremony. Some people will choose to have multiple readings and/or performances spread out throughout their ceremony while other couples choose to exclude many pieces listed here. As long as you exchange promises in some sort of ceremonial format, the marriage is legal and the rest is up to you!

Walking order for the ceremony

Depending on how formal your wedding is, how extensive the guest list is, your relationship with your family members, and who you each choose to escort you down the aisle (if you choose to have anyone at all), your ceremony walking order can be anything! Some couples choose to only have themselves walk down the aisle, others choose to include all of their “VIP” guests. Plenty of people choose to have something in between. There are no wrong answers as long as you, your fiance, and the officiant end up at the altar!

The most standard walking order is as follows:

Entrance (procession)-

All guests seated
Immediate family like grandparents, parents of the bride(s) and/or groom(s) who won’t be escorting their to-be-married child down the aisle, and siblings who aren’t in the bridal party walk first (typically the siblings who aren’t in the bridal party will escort the parents who aren’t walking their to-be-married child down the aisle.) If any of these people need assistance walking or don’t wish to walk alone, you can assign ushers to escort them to their seats.
Officiant
Groom & mother (or Bride #1 and escort)
Bridesmaids and groomsmen
Maid/Matron of Honor & Best Man
Flower girl & ring bearer (depending on how many of each you have, they may walk together or separately)
Bride & father (or Groom #2 and escort)

Exit (recession)-

Newly weds
Wedding party in the reverse order from which they entered (after newly weds have completely exitted)
Immediate family with ushers/escorts
Officiant & guests (after the officiant makes an announcement for guests to leave)

A series of Pro-Tips on things to consider when planning your ceremony

List the guest arrival time on your wedding invitations 30 minutes prior to the actual ceremony start time. Some guests are punctual, others not so much. Don’t risk latecomers walking in during your ceremony and causing a disruption. If you are worried about the punctual guests being punished for being on time, a simple solution is to prepare some entertainment! Have music already playing to create some atmosphere and provide water, alcoholic drinks, snacks, games, a guest book, etc. to entertain them!
Write your vows down! No matter how much you practice or how confident you are in your memorization skills, write them out and keep a copy handy. When the time comes, you may not need them at all, but it is always better to be safe than sorry!
Write your vows on notecards. Writing vows on a phone or large piece of paper is a recipe for distraction. Keeping track of a phone before the ceremony is not fun. Other notifications may be distracting when it comes time to pull your phone out. Also, with a phone getting to the vows may be a little difficult! Nerves tend to make for shaky hands which is incredibly apparent if you brought a large, floppy piece of paper. A side effect of trembling paper is becoming hyper aware of how nervous you are when you see the page shake, which can make you more nervous! Even if nerves don’t get to you, wind might! A large piece of paper blowing around in the breeze can create a crinkling noise that is easily picked up by a microphone. Another downside to large sheets of paper is how easy it is to lose your place when reading from them. Big pages are a no no! Notecards allow you the opportunity to write big enough to keep your place, minimize distractions, and avoid obviously trembling.
Write two copies of your vows and hand a backup copy to someone responsible. With so much going on the morning of your wedding, forgetting something as small in size but incredibly vital as your wedding vows can happen. Prepare a back up copy and give it to the officiant, wedding planner, or member of the bridal party just in case!
Save your family seats. Most guests know not to sit in the front few rows of your ceremony space, but there is always one or two who don’t think about it. Make sure the people who matter most have a clear view from a front row seat! This can be done either by having reserved seat signs placed on their designated chairs, or tying a ribbon with a reserved sign across the chairs intended for family. Have your wedding planner or day-of coordinator keep an eye on those seats prior to the ceremony just in case any guests miss the memo!
Let your family know where they are supposed to sit. Even if you aren’t designating “mine and yours” sides for guests to sit during the ceremony, designate sides for the immediate family members, especially if they are walking down the aisle! This will expedite the seating process for them and alleviate any confusion once they reach the front of the ceremony area. Make sure to let them know during ceremony rehearsal where they are supposed to sit!
Consider the ceremony space and assign sides for family members accordingly. In some spaces, if your family sits on the side that you stand they won’t be able to see your face! If this is the case, have them sit on the opposite side so they get a clear view of all those beautiful emotions you are going through!
Talk with your wedding party about where and how to stand throughout the ceremony. This is what rehearsals are for! Well, not just this, but this should definitely be discussed during the rehearsal! Let your wedding party know where to stand, what angle to stand, where to hold bouquets (belly button height), etc. so the guests have a clear view and the pictures look uniform and beautiful!
Talk with the Maid/Matron of honor about adjusting the bride once she gets to the altar. The maid/matron of honor will need to fluff the bride’s dress once she settles into her standing space for the ceremony. She will also need to retrieve the bride’s bouquet when it comes time to exchange vows and rings! If there is a veil, the maid/matron of honor can also adjust this so the bride looks polished and photo ready throughout the ceremony. This is another great thing to address while running through the ceremony rehearsal!
Make sure the MC or officiant makes an announcement for guests to sit close. If you have a large ceremony area that will accommodate a guest list much larger than yours, have all of the guests move in closer prior to the ceremony starting. Not only will this give everyone a better view, it will also translate to pictures better!
Some venues have restrictions on where your photographer can take pictures from. To avoid any last minute surprises, talk with your venue about any rules and restrictions they have in regards to photography. Typically only certain religious places of worship (and even then, usually only during certain times of year) are likely to have restrictions on photography.
Your officiant will be in a lot of your ceremony pictures, so their attire is important. Not only will they be in a lot of pictures, but they will stand front and center for all guests to see! Make sure they plan to wear something professional yet simple so they don’t take too much attention away from you.
Your officiant needs to MOVE IT when it comes time for the kiss. Communicate with your officiant about quickly sliding to the side, and taking their microphone stand with them, when it comes time for the kiss and your exit from the ceremony.
Make sure whoever is in charge of your music knows all of the important cues. Discuss prior to your wedding day with the person who will be in charge of ceremony music. Let them know the signal for changing the processional songs and let them know the very last thing the officiant will say so they can use this as a cue for playing the recessional song.
Let your family and ushers know the exit strategy. Some pairs will need to change so everyone needs to know who they will enter and exit with. They will also need to know when they are supposed to leave. Occasionally the officiant will dismiss the family, but usually the family begins exiting without a formal prompt following the ceremony.
Make sure someone is lined up to make two very important announcements to guests. Guests need to be asked to take their seats and released at the end of the ceremony by someone! This can either be the officiant or the MC. Make sure the person knows they are in charge of making this announcement, when to make the announcements, and is ready to provide clear instructions on where guests should go next.
Have a game plan for yourself after the ceremony. A common oversight is a predetermined space for the newly weds and wedding party to retreat to after the ceremony concludes. Map out a space beforehand so everyone knows the plan!
Set some time aside for yourselves directly following the ceremony. After the ceremony, if possible, carve out 5-15 minutes and a secluded space where just you and your new husband or wife can be alone to process the ceremony together. The rest of the day will be a whirlwind so giving yourself the gift of peace and quiet for even just a few moments makes a big difference in how you remember the ceremony!
Ask your wedding planner, bartender, and/or caterer to have some snacks set aside for you in your hideaway space. Typically wedding party portraits and/or family portraits directly follow the ceremony, which leave you with little to no time to snack and have a drink. Ask your vendors to prepare something for you to enjoy while you take your 5-15 minute processing time so you can keep your energy level up! Make sure they give you some water, too!

Alexa Lewis 5/8/20 Alexa Lewis 5/8/20

All Things Wedding Band

Music will set the mood throughout your wedding and have a huge impact on how you remember your day. When you book a Wedding Band, you are hiring more than just music, you are hiring a presence and personality! Your Wedding Band has the ability to make or break your wedding through their energy level, performance style, and song selection. Follow the guide below to ask the right questions, adequately prepare the band prior to your wedding, and feel overall confident in your Wedding Band selection.

This article is divided into 3 sections:

Things to consider about Wedding Bands prior to booking
Questions to ask a Wedding Band prior to booking
Maximizing your Wedding Band’s services

This article is divided into 3 sections:

Things to consider about Wedding Bands prior to booking
Questions to ask a Wedding Band prior to booking
Maximizing your Wedding Band’s services

Things to consider about Wedding Bands prior to booking

Wedding Bands cost more than Wedding DJs. A wedding band is made up of multiple musicians who all are going to perform live for you and your guests. All of the members have an individual skill that they have spent years perfecting! They spend much more time preparing during rehearsals, provide and maintain more equipment, and require a more energetic performance than a DJ (no shade at all intended to DJs! Both types of wedding professionals bring A LOT to the table and well worth the money). Each band member will need to leave with a decent cut from the total amount they charge, so their rates are typically much higher than a Wedding DJ.
Weddings have diverse crowds; keep this in mind when selecting a band. Wedding guests range in age, background, and musical interests. A Wedding Band spends hours and hours practicing a set list of songs to perform in front of your guests. Unlike a DJ who has access to a vast music library, Wedding Bands are a little more limited on what songs they will be able to perform. Make sure the type of music and performance style the band gravitates towards will keep everyone engaged!
Speciality music requires a speciality Wedding Band. If you are hosting a culture-specific wedding, it is imperative to only hire a band that is familiar with the music that is associated with this culture. If you want songs predominantly sung in a specific language, style, etc. make sure to find a band that is fluent in your culture’s language and specializes in your desired genre of music.
Gauge an MC’s style based on the conversation you have with them. When you talk to your band prior to booking them, pay close attention to the person who will be MCing. Listen to the cadence of their voice. Pay attention to their energy, word choice, and overall sound to their voice. This will provide a lot more insight into their MC style than any single question ever could.
Watch multiple videos of your band performing prior to booking. Don’t book a band without watching several demo videos first. Pay attention to performance style, crowd reactions, energy level, and crowd engagement.
Do more than read reviews, read into reviews. A company may have five stars across all review platforms, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are a good fit for you. This is true for all vendors! Look for trends in the reviews that can provide a little more insight into what this professional's work style is like. For example, if you see something to the effect of “they played all of the greatest disco hits and did a lot of funny celebrity impressions,” recurring throughout reviews, that person is probably going to perform similarly at your wedding. Other couples may have loved this and left five star reviews, but if the thought of listening to disco and celebrity impressions all night makes you cringe, that band isn’t going to be the right fit for you.

Questions to ask a Wedding Band prior to booking

BASICS-

Are you available on my date?
Can you work within my budget?
Do you require a deposit? How much?
When is the balance due?
What is your preferred method of payment?
What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?
What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?
What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?
What is the backup plan if you, or any of your band members, are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?
Are there any additional fees such as travel fees, delivery fees, etc. that are not included in the package price?
Are you licensed?
Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your band members and property?

EXPERIENCE-

How long have you been playing together?
Roughly how many weddings have you performed at? (Hint: less than 10 is scary! 50-100 is great! 100+ is ideal!)
What kind of genres do you heavily lean towards?
What is your MC style?
Have you worked at my venue before?
Do you have any videos of past performances I can watch? (Hint: Don’t book a band without watching several demo videos first.)
)
What sets you apart from other Wedding Bands?

Details-

Do you provide an MC or will I need to book one separately?
Do you offer a written contract for our event? (If they don’t, STEER CLEAR!)
If applicable, do you offer bilingual MCs and singers?
Can we add extra time on the night of our event if we aren’t ready for the party to end?
What is the rate for additional hours?
(If booking through a large company) Can we speak to our band directly prior to our wedding?
Do you provide any other services?- (Hint: bundling contracts can cave money since vendors often offer discounts if you book several services through them. Just make sure you like the details of the individual services offered and don’t settle in one area just for the sake of the bundle!)
How many events will the band perform at over the course of my wedding weekend?
How often do the band members take breaks? How will music still be played during this time? (Hint: Wedding Bands need breaks! They typically perform about 4-7 songs and then take a 10-15 minute break. Singing, performing, and maintaining a high level of energy all takes a lot of a person! In order for them to perform their best, the breaks will be necessary. For the sake of everyone else, make sure music will continue in some way, shape, or form during the band’s breaks.)

MUSIC-

How often do you add new songs to your repertoire?
Will I be able to make song requests/a playlist beforehand?
Is there a limit to how many song requests I can make?
Will I need to select all of the songs for the duration of the wedding or will you be making selections as well?
When will you need the final list of song requests by?
Can guests make requests on the day of my wedding?
Can I create a do-not play list?
Do you know both the clean and explicit versions of songs?

EQUIPMENT & LOGISTICS-

Do you provide your own sound system or will we need to book one separately?
Do you provide any microphones for us to use? If so, how many?
Do you provide a wireless microphone?
Will we be able to use your microphone for the ceremony and toasts?
Do you have a microphone stand for our ceremony?
Do you provide any dance floor lighting?
How is the dance floor lighting displayed?
Do you offer dance floor lighting upgrades?
How many sound systems come in your package? (Hint: a sound system is the audio equipment needed to play music in any particular area. This typically will include a set of speakers (1-2 speakers for ceremony/cocktail hour, 2+ speakers for dinner/dancing), microphone, amplifier, mixer, and dance floor lighting (where appropriate).)
How many speakers will you provide for dancing? (Hint: for most spaces, 2 professional quality speakers will be plenty. For especially large spaces, or venues with broken up layouts, additional speakers may be required. 1 speaker is almost never enough for the dance floor as it makes the music less dynamic.)

Maximize your Wedding Band’s services

Create a Spotify playlist and add songs that you like as you think of them. Instead of attempting to create a playlist all at once, create a blank playlist early on in your wedding planning and add to it over time. Refine the list as your wedding approaches and send the polished version to your band. Be sure to allow ample time for the band to learn and practice your must have songs!
Specify which portion of your weddings you’d like certain songs on your playlist played. Your band will usually choose music that makes sense for each specific chunk of time (i.e. pre-ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, and dancing). However, if you provide one single request list that includes slow songs without any guidance on when to play them, the band may choose to perform those songs during dinner, when you actually intended them to be played during the dancing portion of the evening.
Specify whether you want clean or explicit versions of songs. Some people prefer to hear the explicit versions of songs. Some people choose to have only clean versions. Some people choose to have explicit versions, except for particularly raunchy songs. Let your band know what you prefer, so they can plan accordingly!
Create a do not play list. This is useful for several reasons. First, if your band doesn’t know that you dislike an artist or genre then you may end up listening to a few songs you just aren’t that into! Second, guests may request songs you don’t like that the band otherwise would not have performed. The do-not-play list will ensure the band knows what to avoid, even if a guest requests it.
Since band members will need to take breaks, prepare a playlist filled with upbeat dancing music to be played during the band intermissions. The band members are only human and will need breaks to avoid exhausting themselves. Create playlists to keep the party going during their breaks! They will usually allow you to play from their sound equipment, so with the right playlist the party won’t stop. To avoid over playing any songs, make sure the songs on this playlist are not also requests you sent the band!
Go over all of the ceremony and reception details with your Wedding Band prior to your wedding. Most Wedding Bands will require a meeting prior to your wedding so they are able to do their job to the best of their ability. If your band doesn’t require a meeting, be sure to set one up yourself. Walk through the timeline and song requests with them to ensure that everyone is on the same page.
Pro-tip: Send the timeline, special songs for the ceremony, special dances, etc., and the song request list prior to the meeting so the band has a chance to review the information and prepare any questions they may have.
Book enough time so that no setup has to be done once guests are on site. Wedding Bands aren’t just important for dancing! Music sets the tone for all portions of the wedding! Think of when you go to a restaurant, if there was no music it would be a little awkward. Aside from creating ambience, choosing to only have the band present for dancing means they will be setting up their equipment and doing sound checks with their instruments while guests are trying to enjoy dinner.
Communicate every special or out-of-the-ordinary thing you have planned with the band. If you have choreographed a dance, let them know. If you have a surprise planned, let them know. If you have planned anything that is not standard, it is very important to let the band know ahead of time. Most professionals tend to be very accommodating and flexible, but there are certain things that will always go smoother if everyone is in the know!
Trust your band! You hired this Wedding Band for their experience and talent, so have some faith in them! A huge part of the band’s job is keeping guests engaged. In order to do this to the best of their ability, a little wiggle room on the music selection will go a long way!

Alexa Lewis 4/27/20 Alexa Lewis 4/27/20

Wedding Planning Tips

Wedding planning has so many moving pieces. Feel confident and worry free by following this list of tips and tricks!

Wedding planning is an exciting and unique journey. There are so many ways to make the planning process smooth and stress-free. Below are 32 of our favorite ways to keep the planning process fun!

1. Budget is a great starting place

Whether you are working with a $3k budget or a $300k budget, knowing your maximum budget will help guide all other aspects of planning your wedding. Come up with an overall number that you and your fiance (or whoever is funding the wedding) are comfortable with, and then do a little research to feel out how this money should be divided up amongst the many wedding vendors. Click here for a guide to building your wedding budget breakdown!

2. Guest count matters

If money truly is not an object, then guest count should be the first step to planning. Knowing how many guests you need to comfortably accommodate will help you select a venue, caterer, food service style, bar, sound system, etc. Guest count will have a huge impact on the overall budget. As you create your budget breakdown, play around with the guest count to see how it will affect the way money is allocated.

3. Consider outside factors that may affect guest and vendor availability

There are often a lot of factors to consider when thinking of a wedding date. It is fairly common for couples to go into wedding planning with a date already in mind. Before becoming too attached to any particular date, consider what other events are happening around this time that might affect guests ability to make it and overall vendor availability.

For example, if your town is hosting a wine festival on July 25, many local vendors might be booked to participate in this event. An event like this might draw a lot of visitors from out of town, making finding a hotel room or even reasonably priced flights harder to come by for guests. Not to mention, even your in town guests might already have pre-planned to attend the alternative event!

4. Check the weather!

Weather has the ability to drastically alter how your day will go and add a lot of unplanned expenses. A particularly windy day at an outdoor venue can cause a lot of problems! If the weather is too hot or too cold, guests might not be inclined until the end of the event. While it is always good to continue to check the weather and make reasonable climate control attempts (i.e. umbrellas, tents, heaters, etc.) picking a date that is generally at a time when the weather is temperate will save you a lot of stress throughout the planning process!

Pro-tip #1: You can Google any date and find the weather trends on that exact date for the last few hundred years. Of course, this can’t guarantee the exact weather on your wedding day, but it can at least give you a little insight into what the weather will likely be.

5. The sunset waits for no one

The sunset will happen when it happens. You can’t control it, so plan for it! In order to get those amazing golden hour shots, shape the rest of your event around this opportune time! Sunset is important for more than just aesthetics, though! When the sun goes down, the overall climate will change, and accommodations may be needed to keep guests comfortable for the duration for the celebration!

Pro-tip #2: Google what time the sunset will be when planning your timeline! Google knows all, so even 18 months away from your wedding date you can look up exactly what time the sun will be setting on your wedding day. Having this time in mind will make it easier to map out when certain events should occur.

6. Consolidate spending and rack up credit card points!!

Opening a specific credit card for wedding related expenses is great for several reasons. First, if all the expenses are made in one place it will be way simpler to track spending. It will also be easier to communicate these expenses to other people who might be financially invested in your wedding. This is also a great opportunity to rack up some points! Weddings are a huge expense, so you might as well get something in return! If you rack up enough points you may just be able to pay for your honeymoon!

7. Take vendor recommendations

There is no need to reinvent the wheel! Wedding professionals spend every weekend meeting and making connections with other amazing vendors. Vendors are highly likely to suggest vendors they only truly feel confident in, as they are putting their own reputation on the line by offering these referrals.

8. Guests = Money

If you find yourself looking to cut costs, cut the guest list. Each guest costs money to host, so if you find yourself in a financially tough situation, take another look at the guest list! This is just another great reason why starting with the budget is ideal. By taking a careful look at how much money you can spend on the wedding you will have a clear understanding of how many guests and at what cost per person will work for you!

Pro-tip #3: Make sure that you have a very clear handle on the budget before sending out invitations. This way if you need to cut the guest list you don’t have to officially uninvite anyone!

9. Advocate early for yourself

Prior to booking, vendors will be more likely to make modifications to their packages and overall price to earn your business. Once the contract is signed and the deposit has been paid they are typically less likely to throw in freebies, because that isn’t what was in the initial agreement. A lot of vendors are firm on their prices, but many are happy to make custom packages to ensure you are satisfied with what you are signing up for!

Pro-tip #4: When asking for free upgrades or a discount, remember you are asking a favor, so ask nicely! These vendors are professionals which means they rely on your business to provide for themselves and their families. While they may want to accommodate your budget, they may not be financially able to do so.

10. Stay organized throughout planning

Staying organized will help keep planning on track and fun. There are many approaches to wedding organization, but no matter what method works for you, stick to it! Update your information regularly, keep everything in one place, and check in on your to-do lists often! For a full list of tips and tricks on staying organized, click here!

11. Chunk out your planning

Remember in school when your teachers would write out the big goals of the day and the smaller tasks you’d do in order to achieve these goals? Well, they were really onto something! Break down your to-do list into sections to make planning more manageable, easier to track, and more rewarding! Click here, for some useful tips and an idea of how to build your own planning timeline.

12. Draft of your day-of timeline early on

Create a rough draft of your wedding day fairly early on in your wedding planning process. Map out how you would like the day to be paced and what time you’d like major events to happen. This may (and probably will) change quite a bit as your plans shift, but having a general outline will help you menally prepare and offer guidance as you book vendors. When it comes time to sign contracts with vendors they will want to know a start and finish time. Certain vendors (like your venue, bartenders, photographer, videographer, and DJ) will have packages that include a certain amount of hours. Having a rough draft of your timeline will give you a better idea of how many hours you need them onsite.

13. Stock your bar...

...with the appropriate amount of bartenders. Avoid long lines at the bar by hiring an appropriate amount of staff for your guest count. Typically for a simple bar (beer, wine, 1-2 pre batched cocktails), you need one bartender per 50 guests to keep the line down. If you are having a fully open bar where guests can order whatever drink they want you will need an extra bartender or two to make sure guests are taken care of in a timely manner.

Pro-tip #5: Take the bar size into consideration. If your venue has a smaller physical bar space, hire an amount of bartenders that make sense for the space. If you are having a large wedding with a small physical bar space, consider renting a second bar to keep the line under control! Small bar lines = full dance floor!

14. Plan for the un-plannable

When going through your budget, make sure to leave some “flex” money for miscellaneous items that may pop up over the course of planning. There are almost always unforeseen expenses that usually aren’t discovered until money has already been spent in other areas. Instead of feeling like you have to blow the budget on these items, anticipate them!

15. When in doubt, ask your professionals

Wedding professionals spend a lot of time at weddings and have gained a lot of valuable insight over their years of experience. Your wedding professionals are usually very well versed in what seemingly simple touches can make the day run smoother! Take their advice into consideration. If it works with your vision, great!

16. Postage points

After carefully researching and designing the perfect invitations, no one wants to stick an ugly stamp on the envelope. Instead of choosing from the limited options available at the post office, consider ordering your stamps online at USPS.com.

Pro-tip #6: Weigh your invitations before you send them out so you can be confident the postage attached is adequate to get your invitation to its destination. If you have an oddly shaped envelope, be sure to ask at the post office about the best method and postage amount to ensure delivery.

Pro-tip 7: Pre-stamp your return RSVP cards. Guests are more likely to quickly send their RSVP cards back if they are pre-stamped.

17. Not all the guests will be able to attend, and that is okay!

Things happen and not everyone will be able to attend your wedding. This is okay! On average about 15-20% of invitees won’t be able to attend. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you! Just remember, guests cost money, so even though you’d love for everyone to celebrate with you, saving money is a huge silver lining to the “No” RSVPs. Alternatively, this will open up a few spaces for the friends that you thought you might not be able to invite.

18. Be consistent with the kiddos

Adults only weddings are becoming more and more common, but there is still a lot of grey area on what that exactly means. A lot of “adults only” weddings will still have a few rugrats running around for any number of reasons. When you send out your invitations specify the kid restriction. You have four options: all kids are welcome, "adults only," immediate family kids only, or you can invite everyone to bring their children and provide childcare for the kids, either at the venue, in a hotel room, or in someone’s home. Consistency is key, though! If you allow some friends to bring children, it is best to allow everyone to bring their children. (Immediate family and kiddos in the bridal party are an exception!)

19. The A, B, C’s to your guest list

This is not a fun guideline to suggest, but it is a good one to follow. When preparing your guest list, separate the list into 3 sections: your “A listers” (the people that are invited no matter what); the “B listers” (the people who you hope to invite if there is enough room); and the “C listers” (the people you want to invite, but will only invite if people from one of the first two lists drop out). This will make cutting down your guest list a lot easier if it becomes necessary down the road. It will also help you prioritize your budget. If having everyone from all three lists is important, allocate money in such a way that this is possible!

20. Limit the plus ones

Considering you are mapping out an A, B, C guest list and trying to track a budget, you do not need to allow every guest a plus one!

A general rule of thumb, if a guest is married their significant other needs to be invited. Even if you don’t include a section for a plus one on their RSVP, their significant other’s invitation is implied. If, for whatever reason, a significant other is not invited that needs to be explicitly communicated to your guest.

Aside from married couples, it is nice to allow guests who may not know a lot of other attendees a plus one. If someone is requesting a plus one and you simply can’t accommodate the other person, just let your guest know that you’ve already had to make difficult decisions about your guest list and you don’t have the room (or budget!)

For everyone else, they should not expect to be allowed a plus one unless specified on the invitation.

Pro-tip #8: Try to avoid mentioning budget as a restriction unless the situation specifically makes sense to bring this up. Guests will offer to pay for their plus one in lieu of not bringing one which doesn’t really solve your problem if your real issue is space or simply not wanting strangers around for an intimate celebration.

21. Guest transportation

Providing guest transportation to and from a hotel is always nice, but it isn’t expected nor is it necessary if your budget is starting to be stretched a little thin. If faced with a choice, it is best to either skip it completely or provide transportation for everyone. Having one or two shuttles to take a portion of guests (bridal party and immediate family not included), but not the rest of your guests can be confusing. Guests may see a shuttle leave and wait for another one, that isn’t coming.

Pro-tip #9: If you are tight on money, but want to offer some sort of transportation accommodation, sign up with a ride-share company and provide guests with a discount code. You can pre-set the discount amount and the maximum amount you are willing to cover.

22. Room blocks and your budget

If you have a lot of out of town guests it is nice to find a hotel in close proximity to your wedding venue for guests to stay during their visit. Setting aside a room block will often allow guests to book at a lower rate than finding a place on their own.

That being said, a lot of the hotels that offer room blocks will hold you financially accountable for the unbooked rooms in your block. If possible, avoid this kind of arrangement! If this is your only option, only set aside enough rooms for your immediate family that you know will be booking or skip the block completely! You can typically add rooms later on if necessary, though they may be at a different rate than the initial block.

Pro-tip #10: If there is a large event taking place nearby on the weekend of your wedding, a room block is crucial to guarantee guests can find accommodations!

Pro-tip #11: Avoid being held financially accountable for unbooked rooms in your blocks by not making a block, but instead suggest a few nearby hotels for guests to choose from. This takes the guesswork out of the hotel search for guests, but will potentially save you a massive added expense.

23. Document everything in writing

Chances are, leading up to the wedding day you will have a lot of discussions with your vendors about small details that aren’t included in your contracts. In order to track the information being shared, and ensure that all of the details are covered, make sure everything is in writing.

There are often several people working with each company you have booked for your wedding. Having everything in writing will keep information consistent between individuals within the company.

Even if you have discussed something several times over the phone, send a follow up email outlining the details you need your vendor to take care of on the day of. After sharing the same details with so many people involved with the wedding, it can be challenging to remember exactly who was told what, but having everything in writing is a great way to keep track of this.

24. Think through the day-of set up logistics

Talk to your venue about what time you and your vendors will have access to the space for set-up. Carefully consider how much time and helping hands your decor will take to set up. Remember that if you aren’t hiring outside help, you will need to make sure you have enough vehicles to transport decor, hands to delegate the set up between, and ample time to have everything done and done well! If you are hiring outside help, it is still important that transporting everything to and from the venue has been thoroughly planned and enough hands have been hired to properly set up in the time allotted! Click here for a thorough day of checklist to make sure you have accounted for all of the details!

25. Make it official with your marriage license

Do a little research into the process for applying for a marriage license prior to showing up at your courthouse. Make sure that you know the timeframe before your wedding that you can apply for your marriage license.

On the day-of designate someone to be responsible for storing your marriage license in a safe pre-determined space so that you can send it in and legally be married!

Pro-tip #12: In the state of California, technically, it is the officiant’s responsibility (and legal obligation) to return your marriage license within 10 days of the ceremony. However, if, for whatever reason, the marriage license isn’t returned you are still married. (source)

26. Become well versed in your venue’s policies and protocols

If you are holding your wedding ceremony at a place of religious worship, discuss what expectations the venue has of you and your guests. For example, do they have a specific time that all guests need to be off the property?; how strict are they on ceremony start time?; do your guests need to dress a certain way?; are you allowed to place any decor?; is flash photography allowed?; etc.?

Reception venues (or combined ceremony and reception venues) often have their own policies and protocols that they expect you and your vendors to adhere to. Most venues will provide a list of these rules, but if you are not provided any, ask for a specific breakdown of their policies. This will help you prepare appropriately and protect/mentally prepare you if something goes wrong that would result in the venue charging additional fees.

Pro-tip #13: Venues will often ask for signed copies of their rules from your vendors. If they don’t require this, it is still a good idea to share the house rules with your vendors so they have an opportunity to understand what the venue restricts and requires of them.

27. Discuss your values, and allocate money accordingly

When you begin to breakdown your budget into an outline (see item #1 on this list), typically you will want to start by writing out the full list of vendors that you will need. From there, discuss with your fiance what matters the most to you both and allocate money accordingly. You may LOVE flowers and want to designate a higher percentage of your overall budget towards this! By doing this in the beginning of planning you will help guide your vendor selection and stay within budget.

28. Keep guests engaged by putting yourself in their shoes

The guests are there to celebrate YOU, so make sure they are well taken care of! Prepare an adequate sound system so that they can see and hear throughout your ceremony and reception. Keep them comfortable by providing climate control and offering amenities such as blankets, flat shoes for dancing, and plenty of access to food, water, and shade. Schedule the day so that activities aren’t during high distraction times or too spaced out allowing guests to get antsy. Click here for timeline building help! Think through the day from the guests perspective to ensure everything is engaging, comfortable, and fun throughout the event.

29. Keep contact information handy!

Keep all of your vendor contact information organized and easily accessible on your wedding day. Things happen, and you don’t want to waste too much time tracking down a vendor’s phone number if you need to contact them.

Pro-tip #14: Designate someone as a point of contact for vendors on your wedding day. If you have a coordinator or planner they will be the go-to person for the other vendors. If you don’t have a professional, designate a family member or bridesmaid to be the point of contact so you don’t have 20 vendors calling you with set-up questions on the wedding day. Even if you have a planner or coordinator, it is still a good idea to designate a bridesmaid as a contact for that person!

30. Gals gas gals up; dress shop with your friends

Dress shopping is best when done with a small group. This can be an emotionally taxing process for so many reasons and its best to have a solid support system there to keep you grounded. Make sure to bring honest friends so they can tell you what is flattering, keep your energy up if you start to feel discouraged, and help you stay firm on your budget.

Pro-tip #15: Support is so much more than telling you are gorgeous in everything (we already know that you are!). True support is helping you make a realistic choice based on your budget, vision, and body type. Make sure that the people you bring along are ready to keep your spirits high, but your expectations realistic.

Pro-tip #16: Don’t bring too many people while you are trying on dresses. Ideally, you will have 1-3 people tagging along to your dress appointments. Two main reasons for this: (1) too many people can be distracting. Having voices for guidance is important, but too many opinions will quickly become overwhelming. (2) Most bridal shops have small showrooms so there isn’t a ton of room for a whole gathering. If you do show up with more people than they are comfortable with, the stylist may feel the need to rush you along to clear the space.

Pro-tip #16.5: Call ahead to the bridal shop to see how many people they can comfortably accommodate.

31. Manage your to-do list

Staying on top of your to-do list throughout planning will help you accomplish every nitty-gritty task you have planned. However, when you get down to the wire, don’t push yourself to the point of wedding burn out! In that final month, the smallest little details that somehow managed to slip through the cracks are finally coming to light. Skip the things you don’t truly need, delegate the things you can, and tackle what you really need to do head on! In that final month stretch, you want to be getting excited for the wedding, not pushing yourself to the point where you’re excited for it to be over.

32. Don’t sweat the small stuff

This is the best and most consistent wedding advice you will probably receive. Things may not go as planned. Some things may not go as planned to the point that you will need to address them after the fact. On your wedding day, the most important thing is getting married! Everything else is extra. No matter what happens, as long as you are with the person you love, your wedding day is already perfect! Stay focused on the positives and live in the moment! Chances are, if you are able to focus on all of the best parts, you won’t even notice the little hiccups that may occur!

Pro-tip #17: Hiring a day-of coordinator will offer peace of mind so that you don’t feel the need to look for the small hiccups. You can live in the moment and feel confident that someone else is handling the behind the scenes aspects for you! A great coordinator will take care of everything before you even notice something wasn’t quite as planned!

Alexa Lewis 4/22/20 Alexa Lewis 4/22/20

Bridal Shower Planning Guide

A bridal shower is a great milestone in the wedding preparation journey for the bride to enjoy the company of friends and family before the wedding! The bridal shower is different from the bachelorette party in that it is typically shorter and a more “tame” gathering. Follow the guide below, or share it with the event host, for a smooth bridal shower planning experience!

Why have a bridal shower-

A bridal shower is a party where friends and family gather to shower the bride with gifts! Much like a baby shower functions as a chance to prepare an expecting mother for a life transition, the bridal shower is meant to provide the bride with gifts that will help prepare her for the upcoming life changes that marriage will bring. While the primary function of this event is to dote upon the bride, it is also a fun opportunity to play games, introduce friends from different walks of life, and build memories!

When should the bridal shower be?

Bridal showers typically occur in the final few months, or even weeks, before the wedding. It is best to schedule this just before the final stages of planning take up all of the bride’s free time! Scheduling this party 30-45 days prior to the wedding is ideal!

The bridal shower will typically occur during daylight hours as opposed to being a nighttime event.

Example bridal shower planning timeline-

3 months prior to wedding-

Set a budget for the bridal shower

Create a guest list for the bridal shower

Gather addresses or email addresses of the guests

Decide on the general “feel” for the bridal shower (formal, casual, something in between?)

Find a venue to host the shower

2 months prior to wedding-

Plan the food and drink menus

Send out invitations to bridal shower

Find decor for bridal shower

Select attire for bridal shower

Book any necessary vendors

Plan activities for the bridal shower

1 month prior to wedding-

Purchase bar and food materials

Purchase flowers & decor

Host bridal shower

Who hosts the bridal shower?

More often than not the bridesmaids, bride or groom’s mother, or another close friend or family member will host the bridal shower. It is uncommon for the bride to host this event for herself since the primary function is to shower the bride with gifts.

How should I invite people?

As always, there are no set rules. Sending formal invitations by mail is great if you have the time and budget, but not necessary by any means! For bridal showers, it is a more recent trend to create a cute virtual invite that is distributed via email. This bridges the gap between official invitations and something that requires less effort. This also provides the opportunity to link a registry directly on the invitation so guests can conveniently click the link and purchase a gift!

Who should be invited?

The etiquette guru, Miss Manners, says you can only invite people who are invited to the wedding and I have to agree with her on this one. Unlike the engagement or bachelorette party, the bridal shower’s main purpose is for people to bring you gifts. Inviting someone to give the bride a gift, but not the wedding is a bit rude.

Traditionally this is a women only event, but this is changing more and more everyday. The invites can be extended to all the womyn invited to the wedding who are particularly close friends with the bride. The best rule of thumb is to limit the guest list to only the bride’s closest family and friends. Remember, the bride’s family is growing with the wedding! It is completely normal and acceptable to invite people from the groom’s side of the family if the relationship allows!

Here is a general outline of who is typically invited:

The bridesmaids
The womyn the bride is close with in her immediate families
The womyn the bride is close with in her extended families
Close friends in the area who are also invited to the wedding. This isn’t an event that people would typically travel for, so if you have close friends in the area add them to the list!

Pro-tip #1: If you invite some immediate or extended family, you DO NOT have to invite them all. Invite whoever makes sense in the bride’s unique situation.

Pro-tip #2: The groom doesn’t usually attend the bridal shower. He often will make an appearance at some point, but typically doesn’t stay for the duration of the party.

What information should the invitations include?

As always, names, date, location, and time will need to be included on the invitation. The host should also specify what kind of refreshments can be expected (appetizers only, full dinner, hosted bar, BYOB, no alcohol, etc.). Depending on what kind of theme you are going with, the headline on the invitation can communicate this information. For example, “Brunch and Bubbly Bridal Shower” or “I Do BBQ.”

Guests are expected to bring gifts, so be sure to include the bride’s wedding registry on the invitation.

Who should pay for the bridal shower?

The cost of the bridal shower typically will fall on the hostess(es). This can vary on a case by case basis depending on financial situations. The bride is never expected to pay for any portion of the bridal shower, though, on very rare occasions may be asked to contribute on certain items. For example, if the person hosting the event does not personally drink alcohol and doesn’t feel comfortable paying for it for guests, the bride may be asked to provide the alcohol. Typically the host would ask someone else close to the bride before coming to the bride with this request, though. Much like the actual wedding, budget isn’t what defines the day. The most important aspect is celebrating your love while surrounded by the people who mean the most to you! (See the end of blog for full example budget breakdowns.)

Where should the bridal shower be hosted?

The bridal shower can be hosted in any venue, it will just depend on the size of the guest list and access to space. While the event can be as formal or informal as the hostess(es) would like, the shower is often thrown in the maid of honor or a family member’s home or backyard. If the hostess(es) does not have space, or just isn’t into the idea of having this kind of gathering in their personal space, a restaurant or smaller venue is always an option! Since this event doesn’t typically include a full meal, choosing to host at a venue might add unnecessary cost.

The bridal shower is usually thrown in the city that the hostess(es) is local to. This may not be the city the bride lives in, so she will need to travel to party. This isn’t typically an event people besides the bride would travel for, so potential guests living outside of the hostess(es) city may not make sense to invite. That is okay! Communicate with those friends and family so they understand why they aren’t receiving an invitation!

What should we do at the bridal shower?

Opening the presents is the primary activity of a bridal shower. Typically around ⅔ of the way through the party everyone will gather around the bride as she opens gifts. Since dinner isn’t usually provided, a few other activities will take place to keep guests entertained and engaged. Since the guests are generously offering gifts to the bride, the groom will often make a quick appearance to say hello and thank everyone. During his appearance, there are several games to play that will include him! Some ideas include the shoe game, a Q & A with the bride(s) and groom(s), or a date night guessing game! For a full list of ideas, click here to visit our Pinterest page! No matter what kind of activities are planned, it is always nice if the guest of honor can make a quick thank you speech. The bridesmaids and/or the bride’s family have typically offered a lot of support leading up to this point aside from hosting the shower and it is always nice for the bride to show her appreciation!

Example bridal shower timeline

1pm- Guests arrive. Everyone mingles, make appetizer plates, grabs their drinks, and makes anonymous date night suggestion.
1:30pm- Game 1: “Guess the Dress” game
1:45pm- Host reminds everyone to enter ideas into the anonymous date night suggestions
1:45pm- Toasts from mother of the groom, mother of the bride, grandma, and bridesmaid who won’t give a toast at the wedding
2pm- Slide show of friends/family pictures viewing
2:15pm- Game 2: Bride reads anonymous date night suggestions aloud and guesses who made each suggestion
2:45pm- Groom arrives, says hello
3pm- Game 3: Shoe game with Groom
3:15pm- Groom leaves
3:15pm- Bride opens presents (maid of honor tracks gifts for thank you notes)
3:45pm- Group picture
4pm- Bridal shower concludes

Is a full dinner expected at the bridal shower?

Everyone appreciates a nice full meal, but it isn’t expected nor is it the norm at bridal showers. Just be sure the hostess(es) specifies either way on the invitation so guests can plan accordingly!

Typically light refreshments are offered. Some ideas include a cheese board, fruit/veggie platters, chips and dips, cupcakes, cookies, or anything else that is easy to grab and snack on. If you want something cost effective, but a little more filling consider thinly sliced pizzas, pasta salads, hamburger sliders, or even mini tacos! For beverages, a few common trends are mimosa bars, pre-batched cocktails or mocktails, wine and/or wine spritzers, or build your own Bloody Mary bars. For a list of food and beverage ideas and display inspiration click here!

What should be included in the budget?

This completely depends on what the hostess(es) chooses to include! Below are some typical things to consider budgeting for:

Catering/food
Tables, chairs, plates, cups, flatware, napkins, etc.
Bar/drinks
Cake/dessert
Invitations
Decor
Miscellaneous

Of course there are endless approaches to maximize any budget! Below are 3 example budgets for Bridal showers.

Example 1 (the “bells and whistles” example)- overall budget $9k

40 guests, 3 hour party

Party Planner- $850
Venue (mother of the bride’s backyard)- FREE
Caterer (Cheese/fruit grazing board)- $2k
Bar (mimosa & bloody mary bar w/ bartender)- @ $15/person = $600
Cake from speciality bakery (2 tier 6” base, 4” top tier)- $450
Cupcake and macaroon display- $200
Ice cream caddy & attendant- $200
Photographer- $500
Music/entertainment (Live guitarist & singer)- $625
Rentals- $500
- 4 large floor tables (low the the ground)- $120
- Festive carpeting to go below table- $150
- Cushions for everyone to sit on- $120
- 1 large wicker peacock chair- $50
- Delivery- $60
Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$2/household = $70
Decor- $1,650
- 2 large balloon displays @$200/arrangement = $400
- 2 small balloon arrangements to accent bar and dessert table = $200
- Florist (4 centerpieces & 4 small accent arrangements for signs & special tables)- $800
- Signage (custom neon welcome sign, bar sign, cards and gifts sign etc.)- $250
Miscellaneous- $1,150
- Photo booth (2 hrs)- $250
- Party favors (ex. Spa goodie bags)- @$20/each = $800
- Gift & activity table (sign, card box, etc.)- $100

TOTAL: $8,795

Example 2 (the “mid range backyard” example)- overall budget $1.2k

40 guests, 3 hour party

Venue (MOH backyard/patio/living room)- FREE
Veggie/fruit/easy apps- $200
Bar (DIY mimosa bar & pre batched cocktails)- $350
- 1 pre batched cocktail (ex. Vodka/Grapefruit)
- 2 handles of mid-range vodka @$40/handle = $80
- Grapefruit juice $30
- 1 case mid-range champagne @ $15/btl $180
- Orange juice/guava/other juice $40
- Ice for cocktails = $20
Cake (single tier cake from local grocer)- $35
Cupcake display (homemade)- $15
Rentals (tables, chairs)- $300
- 4 tables & table cloths @$30/table = $120
- 40 chairs @ $3/chair = $120
- Delivery- $60
Music/entertainment (make your own playlist and play through your own speaker)- FREE
Invitations (Send out email with curated digital invite)- FREE
Decor- $50
- DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 5 bushels @ $5/bushel = $25
- Dollar store vases 1 per table @$1/each = $4
- Candles & dollar tree candle votives (2 per table)- $2/each = $8
Miscellaneous- $250
- Party favors (ex. Goodie bag)- @$5/each = $200
- Gift table (sign, card box, etc.)- $50

TOTAL: $1,200

Example 3 (the “ballin’ on a budget” example)- overall budget $300

40 guests, 3 hour party

Venue (MOH backyard/patio/living room)- FREE
Veggie/fruit/pretzels/hummus/chips/dip- $50
Bar (DIY mimosa bar & pre batched cocktails)- $170
- 1 pre batched cocktail (ex. Vodka/Grapefruit)
- 2 handles of inexpensive vodka @$20/handle = $40
- Grapefruit juice $30
- 1 case inexpensive champagne @ $5/btl $60
- Orange juice $20
- Ice for cocktails $20
Tables/chairs (use MOH existing furniture) FREE
Disposable plates & napkins- $5
Cupcake & cookie display (homemade)- $25
Music/entertainment (make your own playlist and play through your own speaker)- FREE
Invitations (Send out email with curated digital invite)- FREE
Decor- $50
- DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 3 bushels @ $5/bushel = $15
- Amazon decor purchases $20
- Print signs from computer FREE

TOTAL: $300

As you can see, the cost of the third example can easily decrease by skipping the alcohol, only offering BYOB, cutting out all decor, and/or skipping dessert. Basically this is all to say, no budget is too small!

Note: These numbers may seem intimidating. Usually, all of your bridesmaids will split the cost of these items. If you have 6 bridesmaids, the price per person is much more manageable. Also keep in mind, 40 guests for a bridal shower is on the larger side of average. Invite less people to get the cost down!

Alexa Lewis 4/21/20 Alexa Lewis 4/21/20

Bachelor & Bachelorette Planning Guide

Weddings are all about love! But the celebration doesn’t have to be limited to you and your fiance’s love. Weddings also provide a great opportunity to celebrate the love and support you receive from the people who are closest to you. Celebrate the friendships you hold most dear during your bachelor/ette party! Follow this planning guide (or share it with your bridal party) for a smooth bachelor/ette party planning experience!

Why have a bachelor/ette party?

A bachelor/ette party is traditionally the last “hurrah” before getting hitched, however, these celebrations have evolved into so much more! While it is still ultimately a time for the bridal party to dote on their engaged friend, over time bachelor/ette parties have grown into a celebration of friendship and a chance for bonding between bridal party members. We all go through so many walks of life, often collecting friends along the way. The bachelor/ette party is the perfect time to bring together the amazing friends we’ve made from life’s various chapters to form their own friendships with each other! They already have one major thing in common: a fondness for YOU!

Who hosts the bachelor/ette party?

Traditionally the bridal party will take on the role of co-hosts, but the host can be anyone, and completely depends on your situation. While it is not typical for the bride(s) or groom(s) to plan their own bachelor/ette parties, it is becoming more common! The co-hosts of the event will take on the bulk, if not all, of planning and costs.

As with most group projects, delegation is key! The Maid of Honor and/or Best Man will typically act as “team captains.” This will usually include initiating the planning, taking on extra tasks and/or expenses, and advocating for what the bride and/or groom will want. If this isn’t possible, it is a great idea for the bride and/or groom to discuss this role with another bridal party member, so they can lead the planning. Someone, at very least, should be tasked with initiating the planning process.

Pro-tip #1: While it is advantageous to have one or two people designated to initiate and oversee the general planning, it is best to involve everyone attending if possible! To prevent the bulk of planning from falling too heavily on one or two people, divide the day(s) into sections and assign responsibility to each person for a different time period (see example in next section). This is a great way to make sure everyone is involved, carrying their weight, and has a chance to plan a thoughtful meal/activity that reflects what they know the bride and/or groom will love!

Pro-tip #2: Not everyone has the same schedule, workload, or access to resources so planning will probably not be perfectly distributed and that is okay! If an attendee can’t offer as much support throughout planning as others, don’t sweat it! They can contribute in other ways! Delegate some of the tasks that can’t be done beforehand to them (i.e. assembling goodie bags, setting up decor, going on a shopping trip to gather food/drinks for the hotel, etc.).

If you are the one with limited planning abilities, communicate this to the other attendees! Everyone can understand a busy schedule, but you have to let them know! If you do have limited time, be clear about your budget, but be ready for decisions to be made without you. If the people working hard on planning don’t receive timely responses there is a good chance they will make plans that you’ll have to go-with-the-flow on!

How should the planning be delegated?

Here is a series of old adages: Many hands make for light work- and party planning is no exception. However, without a clear plan of execution you may find yourself with too many cooks in the kitchen. A solid plan on how to divide the tasks will alleviate stress and ensure party planning is a piece of cake! (Okay, calling it a day on the idioms).

Below is an example of planning delegation. In this example, the group includes 1 Maid of Honor and 7 bridesmaids. They will arrive late in the evening before Day 1 and will leave after brunch on Day 3. I highly recommend putting this information into a spreadsheet.

Maid of Honor:

Planning- Day 1 breakfast & day 3 brunch