Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

All Things Bridal Hair and Makeup

You are already oh so beautiful! We know it, your fiance knows it, and (hopefully) you know it! You spent so much time preparing for your wedding, this is the perfect opportunity to be the most polished version of yourself. That’s where professional hair and makeup teams come in. These amazing artists will make you SHINE! Follow this guide to feel confident in the selection of your hair and makeup teams.

This guide is divided into 3 sections:

  1. Things to know and consider before booking hair and makeup artists

  2. Questions to ask prior to booking

  3. Ways to maximize your hair and makeup teams services

You are already oh so beautiful! We know it, your fiance knows it, and (hopefully) you know it! You spent so much time preparing for your wedding, this is the perfect opportunity to be the most polished version of yourself. That’s where professional hair and makeup teams come in. These amazing artists will make you SHINE! Follow this guide to feel confident in the selection of your hair and makeup teams.

This guide is divided into 3 sections:

  1. Things to know and consider before booking hair and makeup artists

  2. Questions to ask prior to booking

  3. Ways to maximize your hair and makeup teams services

Things to know and consider before booking hair and makeup artists

  1. Some people will bundle hair and makeup services, others will not. Hair and makeup artists often work in teams and bundle their services. This can be done by either one individual providing both services, or two professional’s combining their services into a single contract.This is great for cost effectiveness, as many offer discounted rates for booking both hair and makeup through a single contract. However, you may LOVE the hairstylist but not be as fond of the makeup artist (or vice versa). Be sure that bundling these services is worth it! If both services aren’t offered by one company or duo, you can contract the services separately. This is a great way to guarantee you love both of the services!

  2. Bridal hair and makeup is more expensive than hair and makeup services for bridesmaids, family members, or kiddos. There are a few reasons bridal hair and makeup is more expensive. A bride typically has a more intricate hair and makeup design than anyone else getting ready for the wedding, which takes more time. She also needs her hair and makeup to be consistent and last throughout the wedding, which is accomplished by providing extra steps to prepare her hair and skin before beginning on the actual looks and using additional and high quality products.  

  3. If you are hiring a team, make sure you like everyone’s work. As the bride, you will typically do a hair and makeup trial with your professionals prior to the day. When you are hiring multiple people to take care of your bridesmaids and/or family members, this isn't usually the case. Be sure to inquire about the other professionals’ skills and experience and request pictures from their portfolios to get an idea of what their work is like.  

  4. Consider the space available in your getting ready area when booking a team of hair and makeup artists to provide services for multiple people. The space you are getting ready in may be a little cramped. If you have booked a hotel suite it may seem spacious, but once you, your bridesmaids, your mother, your groom’s mother, three makeup artists, three hair stylists, and a photographer are in the space, it quickly becomes cramped. Make sure that everyone will be comfortable in the space before hiring an extensive team and inviting extra people to get ready with you. A cramped space will have a lot of energy to process and quickly become hot. That doesn’t exactly set the stage for a calm environment. If you anticipate the space becoming cramped, pace everyone’s getting ready time slots appropriately so not everyone is on top of each other while trying to do hair and makeup at once!

  5. Experience matters. A novelist hair and/or makeup artist may not be able to work around another professional, as quickly, or know how to make your makeup and/or hair last throughout the evening. A professional will be well versed on all of these factors and operate quickly, calmly, and efficiently.

  6. Personality matters. Your hair and makeup team is around you while you are getting ready for an important and emotional day. Their energy truly matters. These people should be people you could see yourself being friends with. If they are high strung, easily stressed, or generally too much energy, they will alter the way you feel while getting ready. Ideally you want someone kind, easy going, and calming. The last thing you want is your makeup artist rushing around and creating unnecessary stress!

  7. Have an idea of the hair and makeup styles you want & provide pictures. Prior to booking a hair and makeup team, have a clear idea of what style you want. Not every professional can achieve every look. Someone who is amazing at intricate braiding, may not be able to accomplish a curly up-do. A makeup artist who is incredibly talented at a Hollywood glam look, may struggle with a more natural look. Professionals want to set themselves up for success, so by providing them with plenty of pictures prior to booking they will be able to confidently tell you if they can achieve your desired look.

  8. Do a trial run. Prior to booking, be sure to do a trial run. This is when the hair and/or makeup artists attempt to create your desired look. This is important and useful for a few reasons:

    1. Check for product quality- During the trial run, check out the products that your professionals are using. If they whip out some drugstore makeup, RUN!!! 

    2. Make sure you like what they did- You will be able to see how closely they came to accomplishing your look and offer the opportunity for notes on how it can go better next time. Aside from their actual skills, this will also give you an idea of how your desired styles translate to you! You may have been in love with a certain hairstyle in pictures, but now that it is on your head, you may not be so in love with it!

    3. Check for longevity of your hair and makeup- The trial lasts longer than just to when they finish your hair and makeup. Pay close attention to how your makeup settles into your face. Does it quickly become shiny? Does it fade, smudge, or smear throughout the day? Does it sink into your pores, making them more pronounced? How does your hair fall throughout the day? Does it stay perfectly? If curls start to go, do you like the way they are loosening? As fly-aways come out of an updo, do you like the natural transition or would you prefer everything stay put?

    4. Make sure their personality works with yours- As previously mentioned, personality is important! Your trial run is the perfect opportunity to gauge how well your personalities mesh together and how pleasant this person will be to have around on your wedding day.

  9. Make a general timeline before booking to make sure they are available at the time you need them. Makeup and hair teams often do multiple events in a single day. To guarantee they keep your time slot open, make a rough timeline for getting ready. This will also help them get an idea of how many professionals are required to finish everyone’s hair and makeup. Additionally, a timeline provides your professionals the opportunity to make suggestions about adding time or team members to make sure everyone is finished in time!

  10. Not everyone needs to get professional hair and/or makeup services. If space and budget is limited, but your friends are talented, not everyone needs either or both professional hair and makeup services. Just be sure to communicate the desired look to your bridesmaids so they can practice the look beforehand.

  11. Know how many people you need to get hair and/or makeup services. With space and budget in mind, have a clear idea of exactly how many people will be needing professional hair and/or makeup services. Oftentimes, services are discounted if purchased for multiple people. Also, if you add a lot of people to the roster of who is receiving hair and/or makeup services down the road, it may alter the getting ready timeline. Extra members of the hair and makeup teams may be required if more people decide to get professional services, but if you wait too long to make this decision your hair and makeup team may not have access to additional professionals!

Questions to ask your hair and/or makeup team before booking

Basics-

  1. Are you available on my date?

  2. Do you charge by the hour or by person?

  3. What is the rate for bridal hair and/or makeup?

  4. Is there a different rate for other people?

  5. Do you offer discounts if we book for multiple people?

  6. Do you require a deposit? How much?

  7. When is the balance due?

  8. What is your preferred method of payment?

  9. What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?

  10. What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?

  11. What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?

  12. What is the backup plan if you are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?

  13. Are there any additional fees such as travel fees, delivery fees, etc. that are not included in the package price?

  14. Are you licensed?

  15. Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your staff and property?

Service questions-

  1. On my wedding day, will you travel to my location or will I have to come to your salon?

  2. Can we do a trial run prior to booking?

  3. What is the cost for the trial run?

  4. Will the cost or a portion cost for the trial come out of your overall rate if I choose to book you for my wedding?

  5. What products/application method do you use? (i.e. airbrush, creams, powders, etc.)

  6. Roughly how long will it take to create my desired look?

  7. Do you regularly work with a hair/makeup person that you recommend?

  8. Do you offer bundled rates of hair and makeup services when booked together?

  9. Do you work around the hair/makeup stylist as they work simultaneously or do you need to work at a separate time?

  10. How many stylists will we need for the amount of people I intend to have professional services done on?

  11. How much time will it take to complete everyone’s hair and makeup services?

  12. Will you stick around throughout the day to do touch ups on my hair and makeup?

Experience questions-

  1. Do you have a portfolio I can look through?

  2. If multiple professionals will be providing hair and/or makeup services, can I look through each of their portfolios as well?

  3. How long have you been doing hair and/or makeup professionally?

  4. How long have you been doing wedding hair and/or makeup?

  5. How many weddings do you typically do a year?

  6. Will you have any other events on my wedding day?

  7. Do you work with random other professionals or the same professionals mostly?

Ways to maximize your hair and makeup services

  1. Pick a hair and makeup style that will work with your overall aesthetic and hair and skin type. Your hair and makeup should work with your dress, wedding design, and natural features. Think through how a style will translate to your head before falling too deeply in love with something! This well set your hair and makeup teams up for success and you up for happiness!

  2. Understand that your face and hair is unique, so the style may look a little different on you. Even if you find a style that will complement your natural features, it will look a little different on your face than in pictures of other people. Be prepared to see slight differences. After all, your differences and uniqueness are a good thing! Your fiance agreed to marry you, not the ladies in the pictures! Your natural features are what make you an individual and particularly beautiful in your own way.

  3. Provide a lot of inspiration pictures for your hair and makeup teams. Even though you will look a little different than the inspiration pictures, be sure to provide plenty of examples of the styles and look you are going for! This will help your professionals prepare. They need to think through how to accomplish your desired look and collect the supplies necessary to make it all come together.

  4. Make sure there is adequate lighting in your getting ready space. Lighting is so important to hair and makeup services. Proper lighting will ensure your makeup is blended properly, your hair is all in place, and both the hair and makeup work together beautifully. Natural light is ideal, but if it is not available or adequate on its own look into alternatives. If you personally won’t be able to provide proper lighting, communicate this with your hair and makeup teams so they can bring ring lights or another alternative. 

  5. Make sure the hair and makeup stylists will have access to power in your getting ready space. Hair stylists will absolutely need power for blow dryers, curling irons, and/or flat irons. Makeup artists need power for their lights, airbrushes, or any other special equipment needed to accomplish your desired look. Check for nearby outlets to where you and anyone getting ready with you will do their hair and makeup. If there isn’t one close by, bring an extension cord and power splitters. 

  6. Make sure there is plenty of space for both the hair and makeup teams to work in your getting ready space. Allow plenty of space for two professionals to work at once. If you have multiple teams operating at the same time, make sure there are several designated spaces with plenty of room so everyone is able to work to the best of their abilities and everyone’s hair and makeup is completed on time.

  7. Provide tables for your hair and makeup teams to set up their supplies in your getting ready space. Your hair and makeup teams both have supplies to set out for easy access. Each individual professional will need a table or adequate space to display their equipment. This table or display will need to be directly by their personal station for easy access.

  8. Allow plenty of time in your wedding day timeline for getting ready. Don’t rush the getting ready portion of the day! This a fun time to spend with your closest friends and/or family, so allow for plenty of time to have a relaxing getting ready period. The key is having the bride’s hair and makeup finished last, to give her look the best chance at lasting the longest!

  9. Discuss what you should do to prepare your hair and skin prior to the wedding day. Depending on your desired styles, hair type and skin type, your professionals may have advice on some steps to take prior to your wedding day. Your hairstylist may not want you to wash your hair the night before or they may want it freshly washed immediately before they begin your style. Your makeup artist may have a skin care routine they recommend to ensure your skin is in optimum condition. Don’t forget to inquire about your bridesmaids and/or family members, too! They likely will have a different hairstyle than you, and therefore need to do something different to prepare their hair! The makeup artists may not ask them to do anything too special, but it's worth asking just in case! Asking your professionals what everyone can do to make their hair and makeup experience as positive as possible is the very best way to maximize those services! 

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

All Things Wedding MC

You spend hours of time, loads of energy, and a lot of money making sure your wedding day will be perfect. As you work to bring your plans together, your wedding will begin to develop a personality (aka a vibe, feel, or mood). Usually the personality your wedding takes on is a reflection of your own. As the primary source of communication to guests, a professional MC conveys this personality to the guests. Of course this person isn’t you and they will have their own unique personality to bring to the table, but it is important to find a professional who will accurately represent you, your fiance, and your wedding vision! Follow this guide to make sure you feel confident in the MC you select!

This guide is divided into 3 sections:

  1. Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding MC

  2. Questions to ask an MC prior to booking

  3. Ways to maximize your MC’s services

You spend hours of time, loads of energy, and a lot of money making sure your wedding day will be perfect. As you work to bring your plans together, your wedding will begin to develop a personality. Usually the personality your wedding takes on is a reflection of your own. As the primary source of communication to all wedding attendees, a professional MC conveys this personality to everyone. Though this person will bring their own unique charisma to the table, it is important to find a professional who will accurately represent you, your fiance, and your wedding vision! Follow this guide to make sure you feel confident in the MC you select!

This guide is divided into 3 sections:

  1. Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding MC

  2. Questions to ask an MC prior to booking

  3. Ways to maximize your MC’s services

Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding MC

  1. What is an MC? An MC (Emcee), or Master of Ceremonies, is essentially the voice of your wedding. They are the liaison between you, your vendors, your timeline, and the guests. Not to be confused with a coordinator, who communicates between you and your vendors to make sure everything is running smoothly and on time, an MC communicates between the coordinator and guests to keep everyone informed of what will happen next. In addition to making important announcements, they typically also provide an element of entertainment to the guests.

  2. You need someone to MC. The role that an MC plays is a big piece of what separates a wedding from any other event. Even if you aren’t interested in hiring an MC as an entertainer, someone will still need to be designated to make announcements. Without an MC the guests, or even you, might not know what to do at any particular time. For example, the MC will direct people from one area to another (ceremony, to cocktail hour, to reception, to dancing, etc.), release tables to take turns at a buffet, announce when the bar is open and closed, introduce special events (i.e. the grand entrance, special dances, toasts, etc.), and bring energy to the dance floor! 

  3. Typically your musician will double as, or provide, an MC, but this isn’t always the case. Typically the DJ or lead singer of a wedding band will serve as an MC. If they don’t personally act as an MC, they usually offer an MC as an add-on to their services. Sometimes these professionals don’t include or offer options for this service, and you will need to find a professional on your own. In some cases, even if your musician can MC, a separate professional may be necessary if announcements need to made in multiple languages. When booking a musician, inquire about their MC work, and/or request an MC that is bilingual if necessary.

  4. Professionals specializing MC work usually have a very specific style. Some people specialize in wedding MCing, but it is more common to find an MC who specializes in events as a general category. While anyone MCing will have their own “microphone voice,” professionals who specialize in this kind of work tend to have more niche styles. A professional MC may host game night at a local bar, fashion shows, bingo nights, drag shows, standup comedy shows, etc., all of which require a niche persona. This means they are likely to have a specific MC style that may or may not work for you. You can judge this based on samples of their work they provide, how they speak on the phone, or by attending an event they are hosting prior to booking.

  5. Some MCs double as musicians; proceed with caution. Not to be confused with musicians who double as an MC, some professional MCs also dabble in music on the side and may want to do a performance at your wedding. Again, be sure to check out samples of their work to make sure this is something you are comfortable with! Sometimes it works out amazingly, and they offer an incredible show to guests. Sometimes it goes less than stellar. Do your due diligence and make sure any performance they will do will go over well with your specific crowd.

  6. Some MCs double as comedians; proceed with caution. MCs are almost always at least a little funny and charismatic. This makes for a great host! Guests don’t want to hear a monotone voice making bland announcements. Often lack of character allows for announcements to go unheard, as even an amplified monotone voice is easily lost in the noise of the crowd. However, there is a difference between a little bit of charming humor and a full on stand up routine. Even if you love comedy and a full stand up routine sounds awesome, make sure that their sense of humor is in line with what you envisioned for your wedding!

  7. An MC is an entertainer, but they shouldn’t steal the show. As the host of your wedding, an MC is expected to provide entertainment for guests. This may include walking around to guests and asking them questions about the newlyweds, encouraging guests to dance, or making announcements in an upbeat and engaging way. There is an incredible finesse required to provide entertainment without making the day about themselves. This is easily avoided by checking out their work prior to booking! 

  8. MCs don’t usually provide their own sound equipment. Since it is unusual for MCs to provide their own sound equipment, you will need to source this elsewhere. Typically your DJ, venue, or wedding band will provide the sound equipment. Make sure that whoever is providing sound equipment is on board with sharing. If none of these vendors are supplying a sound system, you will need to source it elsewhere so music and announcements can be heard throughout your event space.

  9. Meet with a potential MC you are interested in on the phone or in person and pay attention to their speaking voice. Listen to the cadence of their voice. Pay attention to their energy, word choice, personality, and overall sound they produce when they speak. This will provide a lot more insight into their MC style than any single question ever could. If the person is engaging, interesting, and professional in a meeting, there is a good chance those qualities will carry over to their MC work.

  10. Don’t just read reviews, read into reviews.  An MC may have five stars across all review platforms, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are a good fit for you. While this is true for all vendors, it is especially true for MCs because their work style is so subjective. Look for trends in the reviews that can provide a little more insight into what this professional's work style is like. For example, if you see multiple 5 star reviews that consistently say something to the effect of “they playfully teased all of our guests and did a lot of funny celebrity impressions,” recurring throughout reviews, that person is probably going to perform similarly at your wedding. Other couples may have loved this and left all five star reviews, but if the thought of your guests being the butt of a joke and having to listen to celebrity impressions all night makes you cringe, that professional isn’t going to be the right fit for you.

Questions to ask prior to booking an MC

Basics-

  1. Are you available on my date?

  2. Can you work within my budget?

  3. Do you require a deposit? How much?

  4. When is the balance due?

  5. What is your preferred method of payment?

  6. What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?

  7. What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?

  8. What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?

  9. What is the backup plan if you are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?

  10. Are there any additional fees, such as travel fees, that are not included in the package price?

  11. Are you licensed?

  12. Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your staff and property?

Experience & style-

  1. How long have you been a professional MC?

  2. Do you specialize in a certain type of event?

  3. How long have you been MCing weddings?

  4. How many weddings have you MCd?

  5. How would you describe your MC style?

  6. What makes you stand apart from other MCs?

  7. Are you open to hosting games or special events we have planned?

  8. Do you offer any additional services or typically do special performances?

  9. Have you worked at our venue before? (Hint: This is particularly important if the venue includes a house sound system. An MC that is familiar with your venue and their system will be familiar with how to start up the system and quicker able to troubleshoot, should any issues arise.)

  10. Have you worked with our musician(s) before?

  11. If applicable, can you make announcements in English and another language? (Hint: Typically at multicultural events a special MC will be hired to make announcements so that all of the guests can understand. Usually these MCs will make announcements in English and your preferred language, but some MCs will only make announcements in the language you have specifically hired them for. This can pose an issue if some guests don’t speak this language, and creates the same problem they were hired to alleviate in the first place! Make sure that someone is available to translate for guests so everyone is in the know for important events!)

  12. Can we see videos of you hosting a previous event or attend a live event that you are MCing?

Logistics-

  1. Do you provide your own sound equipment?

  2. If you do provide sound equipment, will our guests have access to your microphone for speeches/toasts?

  3. If we decide we want the party to last longer, can we add extra hours onto our package on the night of the wedding?

  4. What is the rate for additional hours?

  5. Do you require breaks?

  6. Do you require a vendor meal?

  7. Will you MC any other events throughout our wedding weekend?

Ways to maximize your MC’s services

  1. Set up a phone or in person meeting prior to the wedding to go over all of the details. It is important that the MC is well versed in all of your wedding day plans so they can do their job to the best of their ability. In order to set themselves up for success, most MCs will require either a phone or in person meeting prior to your wedding to go over the details. If they don’t require a meeting, arrange one yourself! Everyone will be better off if the details are reviewed together in advance. This meeting will be most beneficial within the final week or two of your wedding. As you finalize planning details, slight things may shift. Set up your meeting with your MC as close to your wedding as possible (without it being so close that the MC doesn’t have time to prepare and you feel overwhelmed with a lot of last minute to-do’s) to ensure they are receiving the most finalized and accurate information regarding your wedding plans.

  2. Send the MC your timeline prior to having a final details meeting with them about your wedding plans. This will give the MC an opportunity to look through the timeline and prepare any questions they may have for you. The MC will need to be familiar with the timeline to make sure they understand the flow of the evening, when to make announcements, and, on the day of your wedding, know when to check in with your coordinator and other vendors to make sure everyone is ready for the next scheduled event prior to making the announcement.

  3. Specify how you, the newlyweds, would like to be referred to. Your MC will be announcing, at least referring to you, several times throughout the evening. Make sure you specify what you’d like to be called as a couple. While traditionally newlyweds used to be referred to as “Mr. and Mrs. [man’s full name here]” that isn’t always the case anymore. With so much variation in who can be married and the dynamic between couples shifting, weddings have come a long way from the days where new couples were introduced as “Mr. & Mrs. John Smith!” Some other alternatives include just your first names, “the newlyweds,” “the Smith’s,” “John & Philip Smith,” etc.

  4. If you need your MC to announce any names, spell the names out phonetically. Even simple names get mispronounced on occasion. An easy way to avoid this is to write out the phonetic spelling next to the names so the MC knows exactly how to say the names (i.e. Mary = M-air-ee). Write out your name, your fiance's name, and your last name(s) phonetically so the MC pronounces them correctly all evening long. Even if you talk to your MC many times and you and/or they say your names repeatedly, it is YOUR special day and your names are worth guaranteeing correct pronunciation! Usually more than just the newlywed’s names will be announced at some point during the wedding. Important guests will give speeches and often newlyweds want to include additional people in the grand entrance (i.e. the wedding party, immediate family members, sponsors, etc.). Provide these names in writing with specifications on how to pronounce them, so everybody’s name is announced correctly!

  5. Thoroughly discuss any announcements your MC will need to make. Prior to the wedding, you will likely plan and predetermine specific announcements that will need to be made. Make sure to provide these announcements in writing to your MC. The timeline is the perfect place to write out the specific announcements so the MC can track exactly when announcements are intended to be made. Be sure to discuss all of the announcements with your MC. Let them know if you want the exact wording you have provided, or if they have a little leeway on what should be said.

  6. Let the MC know ahead of time when to NOT speak. Some people only want the MC to speak when it is time for designated announcements. Others want entertainment all throughout the event. Many people want something in between. If there are any times throughout the night you’d rather the MC keep to themselves (i.e. special dances, the duration of dinner, the duration of cocktail hour, etc.) let them know ahead of time. If the MC isn’t given any specifications of when to keep quiet, they may feel the need to fill in gaps by telling jokes, narrating special events (i.e. “wow look at that twirl,” “Oh they’re going for dip,” “smash the cake!!”, etc.), or engaging guests on the microphone (i.e. inquiring about how they know the couple, asking for a random guest to provide relationship advice, asking for a quick impromptu speech from a random guest, etc.). All of these examples are fairly typical of an MC, so they can’t be blamed for doing any of this if they haven’t been told otherwise!

  7. Discuss specific jokes, questions, games, etc. that you’d like included with your MC. If there is anything specific or out of the norm you’d like included at some point at your wedding, let the MC know! If you want any games, specific forms of guest engagement, or other out-of-the-norm approaches to entertainment make sure the MC knows ahead of time so they can prepare accordingly! While the examples listed under #6 are not out of the norm for MCs, they also shouldn’t be expected unless you specify you would like them to engage and entertain guests in these ways.

  8. Be sure to inform the MC of any “don’t breach topics.” If there is anything that should never, ever be brought up with your family or guests LET THE MC KNOW! There is nothing worse than an MC making a statement, telling a joke, or asking a question and it being followed by a dramatic, awkward pause amongst the crowd! The best way to avoid this is to let them know about any “don’t go there topics” ahead of time. Even if it feels like an overshare, it will be better for everyone in the end if the MC knows what topics to avoid.

  9. Specify who should and should not be given a microphone. It is fairly common for a distant relative or friend to suddenly become inspired and want to give an impromptu speech at a wedding (especially once the alcohol starts flowing). Some couples are happy to open the floor to anyone who wants to give a toast, while others strictly want to stick to the planned speeches. There are any number of reasons for either of these approaches, but if you anticipate any guests becoming an issue, make sure your MC knows who, under no circumstances, should never get a hold of the microphone. 

  10. Provide all information in writing. While a phone or in person meeting is of the utmost importance, it is equally important to write down all instructions, wants, dislikes, etc. for your MC. While it is important that information is provided in writing for all vendors, it is especially important for your MC, because their mistakes are amplified (literally, via the microphone). If your caterer forgets to set out appetizer plates, they can quickly fix the problem with minimal guests noticing. If your MC messes up your last name, everyone will be aware. Your MC will likely be pouring over your written notes prior to the wedding in order to prepare, but will typically bring all of the notes with them to make sure everything is going the way you discussed! Little details are much more likely to slip by the wayside if they don’t have written notes and are simply trying to remember everything you said in a phone conversation! This will also help if your coordinator or a guest approach the MC to inquire why they are or are not doing something. If the MC has specific instructions in writing that they are not supposed to tell jokes or engage with guests during dinner they can prove they are doing their job exactly as you wanted!

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

All Things Wedding Officiant

A wedding ceremony is, in many ways, the single most important piece to a wedding. This is what brings all of your friends and family together to celebrate! When you become engaged you are agreeing to make a commitment through a marriage ceremony. Agreeing to make this ceremonial commitment is the catalyst that inspires all of the additional pretty, fun, and functional aspects to your wedding day. It is important to find an officiant that will preform a ceremony that aligns with your vision, values, and beliefs. Since the officiant will lead your wedding ceremony, and is typically in charge of writing the ceremony, this person will play a pivotal role in getting your marriage started on the right foot. Follow this guide to feel confident in the person you select to officiate your wedding!

This guide is divided into 3 sections:

  1. Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding officiant

  2. Questions to ask an officiant prior to booking

  3. Ways to maximize your officiant’s services

A wedding ceremony is, in many ways, the single most important piece to a wedding. This is what brings all of your friends and family together to celebrate! When you become engaged you are agreeing to make a commitment through a marriage ceremony.  Agreeing to make this ceremonial commitment is the catalyst that inspires all of the additional pretty, fun, and functional aspects to your wedding day.  It is important to find an officiant that will preform a ceremony that aligns with your vision, values, and beliefs. Since the officiant will lead your wedding ceremony, and is typically in charge of writing the ceremony, this person will play a pivotal role in getting your marriage started on the right foot. Follow this guide to feel confident in the person you select to officiate your wedding!

This guide is divided into 3 sections:

  1. Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding officiant

  2. Questions to ask an officiant prior to booking

  3. Ways to maximize your officiant’s services

Things to know and consider prior to booking a wedding officiant

  1. Officiants are called many things. A wedding officiant is any legally certified person delivering a wedding ceremony. This can be a religious leader, non-denominational ordained professional, or an ordained friend. Some of the most common names for officiants are:

    1. Officiant

    2. Celebrant

    3. Justice of the Peace

    4. Any religious leader (i.e. Priest, Rabbi, Preacher, Pastor, Swami, Minister, etc.)

  2. Any person can officiate your wedding, but they must be ordained in order to legally marry you. Whoever is delivering your wedding ceremony must be ordained prior to your wedding ceremony, in order for your marriage to be legal. Becoming ordained online is easy and FREE! This is awesome news if you want a friend or family member to officiate your wedding! It is also a great reason to properly vet any person claiming to be a professional. Since it is so simple to obtain certification to legally perform marriages, essentially anyone can provide this service. Be sure to read reviews, gather samples of their work, have a clear understanding of the exact services they will provide, and ensure your personalities mesh well before hiring a professional wedding officiant.

  3. Certain places of worship will require you to use their religious leader. If you find a chapel other than your usual place of worship, you may have to use their in-house worship leader to perform your ceremony. This is typically only an issue if you are hosting your wedding out of town and wish to fly your own religious leader in for your wedding. Confirm with your chapel prior to booking that this is okay! If you intend to be married at a place of worship, confirm with them their policies on outside vendors, prior to booking your officiant to avoid potentially loosing a deposit.

  4. Certain religious leaders require both parties involved in the marriage be officially baptized (or the equivalent) into their faith. Most couples who come across this issue are already aware of this prior to becoming engaged. A couple important things to note on this topic:

    1. Just because some or most religious leaders of a certain faith require this, doesn’t mean that all leaders in your faith will. Finding someone who will do this may prove a challenge for certain religions, but they are out there!

    2. (Take or leave this point as you see fit…) If your fiance is uncomfortable changing religions, it isn’t a great idea to pressure them into switching. You are agreeing to marry this person because you love them for who they already are (and vice versa!). Their religious beliefs (or lack thereof) are a huge piece of who they are- so to change this, is to change them. If this proves to be a huge hinderance on wedding planning, seek the professional guidance of a marriage counselor whose services are rooted in any faith (especially neither of your own) for some unbiased support as you navigate this delicate territory.

    3. Sometimes neither of the engaged parties will really care about each other’s religious beliefs, but family members will. The best advice on this is to make your family feel heard by addressing their reasoning for wanting you to have certain religious aspects incorporated into your wedding, but ultimately remember and remind them that it is YOUR wedding and YOUR commitment, NOT your family’s. For more advice on this incredibly touchy subject, reference the “Managing Outside Opinions Surrounding Your Wedding” guide.

  5. Certain religious leaders require you to take premarital counseling or classes with them prior to your wedding. Premarital counseling or classes are not a bad thing! They provide the opportunity to gauge how “on the same page” you and your fiance are by encouraging you to discuss your visions and plans for some of life’s common and major milestones prior to making a major commitment. However, you may not find counseling or classes necessary in your unique situation and these services almost always cost additional money. Check with your potential officiant for their policies and rates for these services. If your officiant doesn’t require premarital counseling or classes, you may still want to consider doing this! There are plenty of professionals out there offering premarital counseling completely separate from officiating services.

  6. Most wedding ceremonies are customized by the officiant based on the couple they are intended for. The officiant will write your wedding ceremony. Many couples, especially those opting out of full religious ceremonies, will choose to write their own wedding vows. Aside from the vows, the officiant will plan the rest of the speaking. They usually include a little background on themselves, why they were chosen to officiate (i.e. “I’ve been a close friend…,” “I have been X’s Rabbi since they were little…” etc.), an anecdote about the couple, and some words of wisdom to the couple. Make sure you find someone who is going to write a beautiful ceremony that will put you and your guests in the right mindset for commitment!

  7. You will likely watch the video of your ceremony many times throughout your life, make sure you find an officiant you want to hear over, and over again! Aside from the ceremony itself, make sure that you like your officiant's voice, speaking style, level of formality, and ceremony delivery style. You can do this by requesting sample videos from previous ceremonies! If you choose to have a friend or family member officiate, they don’t necessarily need to write the ceremony in its entirety. However, you probably won’t want to hear the whole ceremony prior to the wedding (the element of surprise in the moment makes the ceremony fun and extra special!). You can get around this by writing a decent portion of the ceremony, but leaving a section in the beginning blank for them to prepare something special. Alternatively, you can let them know specific things you’d like included (or left out!) to help guide their ceremony creation process. For example, if you love a particular quote or want special readings done you can ask them to include these in the ceremony.

  8. If you choose a friend or family member to officiate, choose wisely! Choosing a significant person in your life to lead your wedding ceremony is a great way to add a level of personalization to your wedding. This is also a great way to save money, since becoming ordained online is free! If you are exploring the possibility of asking a friend or family member to officiant your wedding, there are a few key characteristics to consider before signing them up.

    1. Find a person that is close, but ideally not too close to either party being married. Being extremely close to one of the parties shouldn’t necessarily count out an individual as a possible officiant, but it does open the door for the person getting a little too emotional. A little emotion is great! It makes the ceremony that much more special! However, if you, your fiance, AND your officiant are all heavily crying throughout the ceremony you may need to take a lot of breaks and the ceremony may last longer than you anticipated. Alternatively, if you and your fiance aren’t big criers, having a blubbering officiant may seem out of place and alter the vibe you wanted for your ceremony. That being said, if a family member or very close friend is perfect in every other way and you’re confident they will have a very appropriate control over their emotions, they might just be the ideal person to lead your ceremony. In contrast, a person too emotionally distant from the couple may not take the role as seriously, may be unable to write a heartfelt and/or meaningful ceremony, and may not be in your lives down the road. A person in the sweet-spot will be close enough to be a constant presence throughout your lives, know enough to create a thoughtful and genuine ceremony, and be removed enough to keep the crying to a minimum.

    2. Are they a good public speaker? Think through how confident this person will be speaking in front of a crowd. Even if they are usually an outgoing and gregarious person, this won’t necessarily translate to public speaking. Does their job require them to speak publicly or give presentations? Do they have any experience speaking into a microphone? A few factors that will play into the overall success as a public speaker are experience, confidence, natural speaking volume, and meeting the perfect sweet spot in closeness to you.

    3. Will they respect the significance of the ceremony? Including a few jokes and taking a playful approach to delivering your wedding ceremony is totally fine, if that is what you want! However, there is a difference between keeping things light-hearted and playful vs. turning your wedding ceremony into a complete joke. You want to feel like you just made a meaningful commitment to one another at the end of your ceremony, not like you just were the butt of a joke.

    4. You want an officiant, not a character. This is an extension of the last point, but it is worth diving further into detail. Confidence and cockiness are two different things. When selecting an officiant, be hyperaware of the difference. If the person you are considering always seems to be “on” when around people, they are likely not the best person to officiate your wedding. Your wedding ceremony shouldn’t be an opportunity for your officiant to put on a show for the guests. If this person tends to be a “class clown” type, commands all of the attention when they walk into any room, or has an air of self-importance, you run the risk of them making your special moment about them, instead of about your love and commitment. Again, putting their own flavor, personality, and a level of playfulness into the ceremony is great! Taking advantage of a seated crowd and microphone access to practice their latest standup, is not so great.

    5. How likely is this person to adequately prepare for our wedding ceremony? If you have an individual in mind who is a great public speaker and will be respectful to the significance of the day, in theory they will adequately prepare. They will write a thoughtful and beautiful ceremony that matches your personalities and practice enough to deliver the ceremony like a true friend and professional! However, if you are considering someone with a notorious track record of procrastination, maybe keep searching.

    6. Make sure they are up for the task. Let them know what the job entails in-full, upfront before allowing them to commit. If you sense any hesitation, don’t pressure them! This is a big favor you are asking of someone, so if they don’t want to do it or they are worried about their ability to perform let them off the hook! Whenever you ask make sure they know they don’t have to officiate, but that you thought they would be a great and meaningful person for the job!

Questions to ask an officiant prior to booking

The basics-

  1. Are you legally certified to marry people in my state? Through which institution did you receive your certificate?

  2. Are you available on my date?

  3. Can you work within my budget?

  4. Do you require a deposit? How much?

  5. When is the balance due?

  6. What is your preferred method of payment?

  7. What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?

  8. What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?

  9. What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?

  10. What is the backup plan if you are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?

  11. Are there any additional fees such as travel fees, delivery fees, etc. that are not included in the package price?

  12. Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your staff and property?

Experience & style information-

  1. How long have you been officiating weddings?

  2. How many weddings do you typically officiate a weekend?

  3. How many weddings do you typically officiate a year?

  4. How do you identify religiously?

  5. If you identify with a certain religion, how much of that religion is incorporated into the ceremonies you deliver? (Hint: Some non-denominational religious officiants will still incorporate mentions of God or prayers into the wedding ceremony. If this is something you’d like to minimize or avoid completely make sure they are willing to comply with this request!) 

  6. If you don’t identify with any religion, can we still request a few mentions of God in our ceremony? (Hint: Some couples wishing to minimize mention of God, still want one or two references. If you find a non-religious officiant make sure that they are comfortable and willing to make this accommodation!)

The ceremony details-

  1. Do you have a set ceremony script or will you customize our ceremony for us?

  2. How do you create and customize our ceremony?

  3. Are we allowed to have input in certain aspects of our ceremony? If so, how much input and on what aspects are we allowed to offer our opinions? (Hint: If you want any readings done by the officiant or a wedding guest, special ceremonies such as sand ceremony, glass ceremony, cord ceremony, etc., songs sung by friends or family, etc., be sure to confirm that the officiant is comfortable and willing to allow these things to happen!)

  4. Can we write our own vows? Can you help us with this? If we decide we need support with our vows, how will you offer guidance?

  5. How long do your ceremonies typically last? Can we shorten or extend this time if we were picturing something a little different?

  6. When will you arrive on our wedding day?

  7. What will you wear on our wedding day? (Hint: This person will be front and center for the duration of your ceremony, which makes them a focal point for your guests. They will also be in a lot of your ceremony pictures, so make sure their attire is something professional that won’t distract from you and your fiance!)

Pre-wedding access & requirements-

  1. How many times will we meet before our wedding?

  2. Will you attend our ceremony rehearsal?

  3. Will you lead our ceremony rehearsal? (Hint: Oftentimes religious leaders of certain faiths prefer or require they lead ceremony rehearsals without any assistance from wedding coordinators or planners. If running the rehearsal is not included in your officiant’s services, your wedding planner or day-of coordinator will typically lead the ceremony rehearsal.)

  4. Do you offer or require premarital counseling? Is there an additional fee for this service?

Ways to maximize your officiant’s services

  1. Communicate your vision for the ceremony clearly. Whether you want long, short, deeply religious, no mention of religion, etc. let your officiant know! Be clear about your expectations so they can make adjustments accordingly.

  2. Meet with your officiant and tell them a little about yourselves! In order for a ceremony to be personal, the officiant needs the opportunity to get to know you and your fiance. When you meet with your officiant, give them some details about how you met, some important chapters in your relationship’s history, and a good idea of who you are as individuals and a couple.

  3. Do some research on your own into wedding ceremonies. Not only will this help you find things you want to incorporate into your own ceremony, but it will also give you an idea of things you don’t want included in your ceremony. Even if you don’t find anything you’d like included verbatim, you may find general ideas or even smaller ceremonies (i.e. sand ceremony, cord ceremony, glass ceremony, etc.) to incorporate into your overall ceremony. 

  4. Write your vows and share them with your officiant. Some officiants will offer feedback on your wedding vows. If they do, take advantage of this service! Make sure your words are coherent and cohesive to a third party and will fit into the time you have chosen to allot for your overall ceremony. 

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

All Things Wedding Caterer

There is nothing like a good meal to bring friends and family together! Wedding guests come from far and wide to rejoice in your marriage. They spend a long day focusing on you, so make sure you take care of them! Follow this guide to feel confident in the wedding caterer you select.

This guide is divided into 3 sections:

  1. Things to consider when researching caterers

  2. Questions to ask prior to booking a caterer

  3. Maximizing catering services

There is nothing like a good meal to bring friends and family together! Wedding guests come from far and wide to rejoice in your marriage. They spend a long day focusing on you, so make sure you take care of them! Follow this guide to feel confident in the wedding caterer you select!

This guide is divided into 3 sections:

  1. Things to consider when researching caterers

  2. Questions to ask prior to booking a caterer

  3. Maximizing catering services

Things to consider when researching caterers

  1. There is a lot of variation in catering packages. 

    1. Drop-and-go catering- The most basic catering companies will drop food off in trays for someone else to set up and serve. These tend to be the least expensive catering option, but be sure to consider the price of service staff companies which will be necessary to properly store, display, and serve your food. Once the service staff is budgeted, this option may be pushed out of your price-range.

    2. Food trucks- Food trucks can serve food in one of two ways: 1) guests will order from their window and food is prepared to order or 2) They will set up a buffet and guests can build their own plate. Food trucks often provide basic paper plates and plasticware for guests to eat from. They will sometimes offer trash removal, but typically only take care of their own garbage.

    3. Full service catering- Full serving catering has a few subsections within itself. A full service caterer may provide food, set up a buffet, tend to the buffet, buss the tables, and refill water. An even fuller service caterer may set up an entire kitchen (or use one onsite) to prepare the meal fresh and serve the food directly to the seated guests. There are plenty of options in between. Full service caterers may provide additional services like tables, chairs, table linens, plates, flatware, drinkware, bar services, etc.

  2. There are 3 main food service styles.

    1. Buffet- A buffet is a display of food that the guests will personally create their own plates from.

      1. Pros- Buffets are a great way to allow guests to select exactly what food items they want. You also won’t have to worry about meal cards!

      2. Cons- Buffet lines can be long and with a large number of guests, the buffet will often make dinner last a long time. Longer buffet time means that the first guests to eat will be done eating long before the last guests even get their food! There is also often a lot of food waste with buffets.

    2. Plated- A plated meal is when the catering staff serves the food directly to the seated guests.

      1. Pros- Guests will get a warm meal, they will get to choose what their main protein is prior to the wedding, and food waste is minimal. Plated dinners are often associated with a higher cost, but since there is less food waste, the cost can oftentimes be less than the other service styles!

      2. Cons- You will have to manage meal cards and it makes your seating chart extra important. You will absolutely have to have adequate staff or else serving the food will take a long time and your timeline will be thrown off.

    3. Family style- Family style service is when the food is placed in large serving dishes directly on guest tables for them to create their plates from without getting up and walking through a buffet line.

      1. Pros- Family style really has a unique ability to encourage conversation amongst your guests. Oftentimes, your wedding guests may not know everyone at their table and family style food is a great way to break the ice! Family style also ensures everyone has access to food at the same time, so pacing dinner is very easy. Also, much like a buffet, your guests will get to choose whatever they want to eat in the moment.

      2. Cons- Unfortunately, there is often a lot of food waste with family style. Since the food is placed directly on the tables, keeping the food warm is a challenge. If people don’t eat right away, the food will get cold. It is a less common service style, so finding a caterer to serve food family style can be difficult.

  3. There are virtually no limits to what kind of food you can have served at your wedding. It is important to think through what foods will store well, transport easily, are easily taken from a serving tray, and will appeal to a larger audience. Consider food allergies and dietary restrictions of guests when booking your caterer. Make sure that the caterer can provide vegetarian, gluten free, diary free, and peanut free options for guests. Aside from logistics, there are no limits to what kind of food should be served at a wedding!

    Pro-tip #1: A special salad can serve as the option for guests with any of the most common dietary restrictions! Ask the caterer to prepare a special salad that is particularly filling to serve to guests that may have one or more of these limitations. Make sure the caterer knows to ONLY serve this salad to the guests with dietary restrictions so they have plenty to eat!

  4. Caterers specialize in food and service styles, be sure to play into their strengths. This is particularly important when venues require you use their preferred caterer or in-house catering. If you find yourself in this position, it is best to stay within the caterers wheelhouse. You can, of course, ask if they are willing to deviate from their menu, but if you sense any kind of hesitation, ABORT MISSION! Everyone would rather eat a common meal done well, than a more interesting meal done poorly. If you have the luxury of choosing any caterer you’d like, look for one that specializes in the kind of food and service style you prefer for your wedding. Hiring a full service American-classics caterer and requesting they prepare sushi rolls for appetizers is not setting anyone up for success. Most caterers don’t stray too far from their menus even when requested, but if you find someone willing to branch out from their norm, make sure they can do so without sacrificing quality!

Questions to ask your caterer prior to booking

The basics

  1. Are you available on my date?

  2. Can you work within my budget?

  3. Do you require a deposit? How much?

  4. When is the balance due?

  5. What is your preferred method of payment?

  6. What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?

  7. What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?

  8. What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?

  9. What is the backup plan if you are personally unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?

  10. Are there any additional fees such as travel fees, delivery fees, etc. that are not included in the package price?

  11. Are you licensed? (Hint- a business license AND food handling license is needed to ensure the caterer is going to prepare food safely for your guests. Confirm with your venue PRIOR to booking your caterer that they adhere to the venue’s requirements.)

  12. Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your staff and property? (Hint - confirm with your venue what kind of insurance you need from your caterer. Some venues require special insurance from Caterers [and bar] that they don’t require from other vendors!)

Experience & quality control

  1. How long have you been in business?

  2. How long have you been offering catering services? (Hint- many restaurants offer catering services, but haven’t necessarily been offering these services as long as their business has been around.)

  3. Do you have experience catering weddings and/or other large formal events? (Hint- not all catering experience is equal. The skills, attention to detail, and professionalism of a catering company with years of experience working children’s birthday parties under their belt won’t necessarily translate to a wedding.)

  4. How do you price your services (i.e. do you offer packages, is food priced al a carte, or something in between? (Hint: Almost all caterers will fall somewhere in-between. Most will offer packages with the option to customize, however the packages offered almost always offer customization!)

  5. What is your typical food serving style (I.e. buffet, plated, family style, etc.)? (Hint: Although a company may say they can any type of service, there are a lot of nuance details that go into service style and booking someone for a service style outside of their norm can be a bit tricky. Be sure to find a company that is confident enough in what they say they can do to put it into writing in your contract!)

  6. Are you able to customize our wedding menu with food that you don’t typically offer? (Hint: some caterers are used to this request and are happy to accommodate special requests. If you are planning on offering an appetizer or entree that isn’t within the caterer’s typical wheelhouse, make sure you find a caterer that is used to preparing unique dishes!)

  7. Can we do a food tasting prior to booking?

  8. What is the cost of the food tasting? Is this cost deducted from the overall fee if we move forward with booking?

Package details

  1. What is the average price per person?

  2. Do you offer separate pricing for children and vendor meals?

  3. What food will this include per person (i.e. appetizers, dinner, dessert, late night snacks, etc.)?

  4. Do you include plates, flatware, napkins, and/or drink ware in your pricing?

  5. Do you include anything else in your packages or am I able to add additional items onto my contract with you (i.e. tables, chairs, water stations, coffee stations, table linens, condiments, etc.)?

  6. How much staff do you allocate for an event of my size?

  7. What is the cost for additional service staff?

  8. How long does the service staff stay onsite including set up and breakdown? 

  9. Does your staff take care of refilling guests beverages?

  10. Do you provide bar services and/or bartenders?

  11. If you provide bartenders, are we able to provide our own alcohol or will we have to use and pay for alcohol provided through your company?

  12. Do you offer any dessert, like cake, or a specialty dessert?

  13. Do you offer cake cutting and serving if I have purchased my cake through a separate company?

  14. Can I see pictures of your food display from past events?

Logistics

  1. If there is no kitchen available at the venue, where will you prepare the food?

  2. Do you provide serving materials such as chafing dishes, serving spoons, etc.?

  3. Will you require any supplies from the rental company?

  4. Do you need access to water and/or power?

  5. Do you provide bussers (people to clear and clean the tables after dinner)?

  6. Do you take care of trash removal? (Hint: many caterers will buss tables, but removing trash from trash cans into trash receptacles is something that needs to be discussed ahead of time.)

  7. If my venue does not have a dumpster onsite, while you take all trash with you? (Hint: many caterers will provide this service for an additional cost.)

  8. Will you take care of arranging the place settings including setting out plates, silverware, drinkware, menus, place cards, etc?

  9. When will you need access to the venue for set up and food preparation?

  10. If I purchase my cake separately, will your company take care of slicing, plating, and/or serving the cake to guests?

  11. Do you offer food options for special diets (i.e. vegetarian, vegan, gluten free, kosher, etc.)?

  12. How long after the conclusion of dinner service will you serve dessert?

  13. How long after the conclusion of food service will your staff stay to buss empty plates, drink ware, etc.?

  14. When do you need the menu and head count finalized?

Maximizing the caterer’s services

  1. Be sure to provide an accurate headcount. You pay per person for catering so providing an accurate headcount is key to making sure you have enough food and aren’t paying for extra food you don’t need. An accurate headcount will also dictate how many service staff are required to properly tend to and clean up after the guests. (Hint: most caterers will allow you to add guests after booking, but don’t allow you to remove guests from the contract. Clarify with them up front about their policy and be sure to book accordingly.)

  2. Taste the food beforehand and select the best options for your budget. The meal served will fuel the guests for dancing throughout the evening. Remember, hungry guests will leave early so be sure to pick tasty, filling options! 

  3. Think through everything you need to comfortably eat a meal. Ask your caterer what they are providing and what you need to source separately. The basics you need for a meal are plates, silverware, napkins, cups, and water. You will also need serving utensils for a buffet or family style meal, plates for appetizers and dessert, forks for appetizers and desserts, and plenty of extra napkins! The caterer may provide more or less than this, but make sure that one way or another guests have access to these materials when dinner time rolls around!

  4. Confirm what services they will and won’t be providing. Discuss trash removal, clearing tables, water filling, washing dishes, etc. to ensure that all of your ducks are in row prior to your wedding! If the caterer does not provide all of these services you will need to designate someone else.

  5. Ask your caterer if there is anything you can do to make the meal experience better for your guests. Sometimes caterers that work at your venue regularly or offer limited services will notice trends of the same items or services that are often forgotten or undersupplied. Ask what these commonly overlooked aspects are so you don’t fall inline with the forgetting trend.

  6. Ask your venue what issues they typically run into with caterers. Since your venue may or may not offer certain items or amenities for caterers, they are likely to have some insight into what is most likely to be overlooked in regards to the caterer (and any other vendor for that matter). Maybe it is water needs, kitchen needs, cleaning needs, or anything else; whatever it is that proves to be a reoccurring oversight, the venue will have noticed. Ask for their experience so you can adequately prepare.

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

Wedding Design Building Guide

Wedding design is a world of endless possibilities. The best part, there are no right or wrong answers! There are, however, some steps to getting started on your wedding design and guidelines to refer to throughout the planning process that will make developing and implementing your design simpler and fun. Follow the guide below for a smooth wedding design building process.

This blog is divided into 11 sections:

  1. Where to start with wedding design

  2. How to select a color scheme

  3. What comes first, the venue or the design?

  4. Furniture and design consistency

  5. Where to find decor

  6. How to select decor

  7. Utilizing lighting to accentuate your design

  8. Utilizing florals to accentuate your design

  9. You, your fiance, your bridal party, the guests & your design

  10. How to budget for wedding design

  11. Tying it altogether

Wedding design is a world of endless possibilities! You have an opportunity to create a fully custom event that perfectly reflects you and your fiance’s personalities. The best part is there are no right or wrong answers! There are, however, some steps to getting started on your wedding design and guidelines to refer to throughout the planning process that will make developing and implementing your design simpler and fun. Follow the guide below for a smooth wedding design building process. 

This blog is divided into 11 sections:

  1. Where to start with wedding design

  2. How to select a color scheme

  3. What comes first, the venue or the design?

  4. Furniture and design consistency

  5. Where to find decor

  6. How to select decor

  7. Utilizing lighting to accentuate your design

  8. Utilizing florals to accentuate your design

  9. You, your fiance, your bridal party, the guests & your design

  10. How to budget for wedding design

  11. Tying it altogether

Where to start with wedding design-

Budget- The absolute first step will be settling on an overall wedding budget and deciding how many guests you will invite (more info on budgeting specifically for decor in the second to last section of this article). While neither of these two factors are inherently design oriented, they are the building blocks to wedding planning and will help guide the design process! As you work through the next steps, keeping your budget and guest count in mind will help manage your expectations and ultimately narrow down exactly what design elements are financially attainable to achieve your desired aesthetic. Click here for guidance on building your wedding budget!

YOU- After your budget is decided, start building your wedding design by turning to yourself for ideas. Your own mind is already chalk full of your likes, dislikes, interests, etc. Although your wedding style can vary significantly from design choices you make in other areas of your life, your vision should start with you (and your fiance, of course)! Thinking through what kind of colors, textures, and styles you are already drawn to will help you shape and maintain your vision as you move through the design process.

The Internet- Next, turn to the internet for some guidance! Pinterest has had a massive impact on the wedding industry, especially when it comes to design. Since Pinterest first launched, we have seen wedding styles become increasingly more diverse and creative. In addition to Pinterest, Instagram and wedding blogs offer loads of inspiration! Find a few pages that you like and keep up with their latest information and ideas. It is easy to get lost in the rabbit hole of Pinterest and Instagram and the further in you go, you may find that your vision is shifting from what you initially thought you wanted. That is okay! Save the inspiration pictures you love along the way and then look at them all together. Find what works, doesn’t work, or simply needs to be adjusted to fit into your evolving vision.

Consult a Professional- Finally, consult with a professional. A professional wedding planner or wedding designer can help develop your vision. If you have a few loose ideas they can help you fill the gaps and tie everything together. If you have no idea of what you’d like, they can gather some general information about you and your fiance in order to build your perfect wedding that you couldn’t quite envision in your mind. If you have a very specific vision, these professionals will be able to take your wants and needs and turn them into reality!

Pro-tip #1: Be aware as you search the internet that a lot of the beautiful designs you come across will come at a price. This may seem obvious, but Pinterest has a way of captioning very beautiful things in ways that make them seem very attainable budget-wise. Just take the ideas with a grain of salt until you do your own research to decide if it will work with your budget.

Pro-tip #2: Often Pinterest will depict DIY projects with incredible results. It is totally possible to break out the hot glue and create some amazing decorations for your wedding! Know your strengths and proceed accordingly. Budgets are easily blown on failed DIY attempts. If you want to try a project, try a smaller project using similar materials to gauge how the bigger project will go! When in doubt, look up a video tutorial!

Pro-tip #3: Keep your Pinterest boards organized! Instead of having one large “our wedding” board, divide the board into sections. Having a designated space for each design element is convenient, not only for yourself, but also for the vendors you will share these boards with. A lot of planners, designers, hair stylists, makeup artists, florists, bridal boutiques, etc. will ask to see your inspiration to understand your vision. Providing a streamlined and up-to-date vision board is a must!

How to select a color scheme-

How many colors?- Typically selecting between three to five colors total for your wedding is suggested. Anything less can be understated or non cohesive, anything over has the potential to become busy or non cohesive. There are, of course, a million and one exceptions to this, but having this range in mind is helpful when starting your color selection process! Ideally you will have two main colors and two to three accent colors. The main colors don’t necessarily need to go together on their own, because the accent colors will bridge the gap between them. Stick to one consistent factor among your colors (tone, hue, base color, etc.) your end result will be lovely!

Season- Season is a great place to start when considering colors for your wedding. If you are hosting a fall wedding deep reds, burnt oranges, and mustard yellows will be your friend! For a winter wedding, deep forest green, red, white, and even charcoal work beautifully! If your wedding is in spring softer colors like blush pink, denim blue, and champagne gold are perfect! For a summer wedding bright colors are perfect! 

Pro-tip #4: Seasonal colors are a great guide for more than just being fashion forward. The seasonal colors are common in the flowers and decor available during that time. By choosing “in season” colors, your corresponding flower options will be less expensive and your decor options will be more readily available.

Venue- It is also beneficial to consider what colors will work with the venue you have chosen. If it is an outdoor venue, the season will impact what colors are naturally occuring and therefore alter your overall aesthetic. An indoor venue will have existing design elements such as carpeting, wall colors, furniture, or even specific styles of lighting fixtures that are worth considering.

Mood- Colors also help to set the mood for your wedding, so talk with your fiance about what message you want to send to guests. If you want something more traditionally romantic, lighter pastels will help convey this. For a more dramatic and passionate vibe, deeper darker tones will help create this atmosphere. No matter your desired mood, there are some great color options to help set the tone.

NO RULES… except one- While all of this is great in guiding color choice, you certainly don’t need to base your color choice on any of it. If you are choosing to theme your wedding (more on themes in the next section) pick colors that are prominent and relevant to your theme. If you have a favorite color use it and choose accent colors that will accentuate it. If you have a favorite flower, choosing the colors based on this flower will work! If you just really love typical “winter” colors, but are having a summer wedding, GO FOR IT! The only real rule of thumb is finding some kind of common factor to create a sense of cohesion for an aesthetically pleasing wedding.

Pro-tip #5: When in doubt, head to the paint aisle of a local store and check out some splotches! If you want to play around with colors and see how they work together, the paint strips at hardware stores are a great place to try different combinations out!

To theme or not to theme-

Inherit themes- Weddings have a way of inherently developing a broad “theme” as the design vision starts to take shape. Some of the more common themes are rustic, boho, minimalist, modern, and traditional/romantic. Oftentimes these inherit themes will coexist with one another. The key is keeping the design elements cohesive as you blend these themes. You don’t have to necessarily title your theme, but it can help you when it comes time to select decor and describe your overall aesthetic to vendors. For example, as you look back over your developing vision board you may notice that you are drawn to romantic, whimsical, boho designs. Congrats! That is now your “theme.”

Full-on niche themes- Some weddings have very specific niche themes that will shape the design vision. Themes can be anything! For example, beachy, Disney, Jurassic Park, Halloween, Star Wars, baseball… the options are endless! When a theme like this is chosen it is usually meaningful to the couple. If you love a theme, but your fiance isn’t quite on board, you can always use this theme for your engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party, or even rehearsal dinner instead!

Subtle themes- Not all specific themes have to dictate the entire wedding design! If you love Jurassic Park, you don’t have to fully commit. Instead of going all in to the point the groomsmen are in inflatable dinosaur costumes, consider just having a dinosaur cake topper, perhaps a few dinosaurs on signs, and maybe order more lush, prehistoric feeling fauna from your florist! A common trend for book lovers is using stacks of books for the centerpieces. Disney lovers often will include a Mickey Mouse charm on the bride’s bouquet and a few quotes from Disney movies displayed. If you don’t want to have a full on themed wedding, a simple nod to your passion is more than enough to convey the message.

What comes first, the venue or the design?

This will depend on you and your unique situation. Some people will quickly develop an overall desired aesthetic for their wedding and search for venues that will accentuate their intended design. Others will choose to let the budget determine their venue and plan the design around the venue they select. There are no wrong approaches, but there are advantages to thinking through what aspects you value the most and then using those to guide the planning process.

Either way, it is beneficial to think through at least some general design ideas before venue shopping. If budget is going to be the absolute determining factor on the venue, keep your vision flexible! Even if money is no object, you may find a venue that steals your heart, but requires a shift in your design vision! Until your venue is booked, have a loose design vision but, keep an open mind.

Pro-tip #6: Don’t count out a competitively priced venue just solely based on the existing aesthetic. Draping and lighting can easily be added to any space to completely alter the look!

Furniture and design consistency-

Furniture rentals: Going the rental route is going to give you the most control over achieving the exact look you want. There is no shortage of rental companies out there, which means one way or another you will have access to the exact furniture pieces you envisioned for your wedding. However, these options may be limited based on your budget. 

If the gorgeous furniture you want isn’t financially feasible, a compromise may be finding something at a lower cost that is closer to your vision than what the venue offers, but not exactly your dream furniture. There are plenty of ways to play with the other design elements, to make the furniture cohesive with your vision. If this is still not going to work with your budget, then it is time to get creative!

Getting creative: If you cannot swing replacing the furniture at the venue, then it is time to turn those lemons into lemonade. Take a look at other weddings that have a similar aesthetic to what you are going for. There may be some more inspiration that you overlooked before, because you already had your mind set on a different look. Think of different table cloths, centerpieces, table runners, etc. that would be consistent with the look and feel you want to achieve. When considering table cloths, think about their texture, shine factor, and, of course, color. Table runners have a great way of adding dimension, which can make your tables feel fuller and more high end. 

Transforming the chairs at your venue can be a little tricky, but it is doable! The basic white folding chairs are the easiest to modify. Drape a blanket over the back (this doubles as a guest favor and climate control, too!), add some sort of embellishment to the back, or wrap them completely. It should be noted that all of these options will be the same cost or more expensive than renting chairs! The most cost effective way to work with these chairs is to dress the table up enough that the chairs aren’t even a factor. The white folding chairs blend in easily to any aesthetic, which is why they are so common for venues to have. 

Metal folding chairs and banquet chairs are harder to hide. Banquet chairs can be hidden with chair covers, but this has a very specific formal/traditional feel. You can consider draping something over the back to incorporate them into your design, or you can leave the chairs as is. If you leave the chairs alone, take a very calculated approach to how you decorate the table so that the chairs aren’t even noticed!

Metal folding chairs aren’t common at wedding venues, but if you are ballin’ on a budget, you may just have to work with them. If you can’t beat them, join them! The easiest way to work with folding metal chairs is to play into their industrial look. Incorporating other industrial elements, such as matching metals and clean lines, into the wedding will make the chairs feel more like a purposeful design decision rather than a budget-driven compromise. 

Pro-tip # 7: If your chairs aren’t going to match perfectly with the rest of your aesthetic, making the other design elements full yet consistent will keep the overall look from becoming messy. Consider expanding your color pallet to 5 colors, but don’t surpass 5. Avoid super bright colors and go for either deeper tones or more dusty light tones. Pick a texture or two to incorporate several places throughout the reception space. The best way to work around any chair is to make those tables beautiful and keep the rest of your design very, very consistent and cohesive.

Where to find decor-

Wedding decor can be sourced in a variety of ways and you don’t have to select just one sourcing method. Decor is often rented from rental companies, wedding planners, venues, florists, or wedding decorators. Decor can also be purchased from craft stores, the internet, local boutiques, or any store that carries items that work with your design vision.

Decor can also be handmade! Personal touches are a great way to achieve your desired look and make the decor meaningful. If you aren’t personally crafty, find someone who is! There are plenty of professionals and hobbyists who are willing and able to custom make the decor of your dreams!


Pro-tip #8: Be sure to check out Facebook Marketplace, thrift stores, garage sales, etc. for gently used wedding decor. Millions of couples are married every year and purchase decor that will only be used once. You can find essentially brand new items at a fraction of the cost by being creative with where you source these materials!

How to select decor-

With so much access to inspiration and physical decor items, committing to just a few ideas can be challenging. Before actually purchasing any decor it is best to run through your budget and decide how much money you will allocate to decor. 

Research accessibility & pricing- Once you decide on an overall amount, begin researching the cost of your favorite design ideas. If you can’t find the exact items you are searching for, look into commissioning those pieces! There are plenty of talented professionals out there that can create exactly what you are looking for! If your initial ideas don’t immediately fit into your budget, brainstorm alternatives that would produce the same effect for a lower cost. 

Mentally map it- Mapping out your venue and mentally placing the decor pieces will give you a clear idea of how many pieces you need, what size your displays should be, and how full the space will look. Doing this after running through your budget, but prior to making any decor purchases will provide valuable insight into how your design elements will work together and how your ideal decor will fill out the space. Click here to visit our details blog for support on mapping out these areas!

Collect your items- After you have everything mapped out, begin purchasing, crafting, and/or renting the items you would like. This may take some time to find the exact pieces you want at a price you are comfortable with, so ideally this process should begin at least three-four months prior to your wedding, if not sooner!

Try it out!- This is the exciting part! After collecting your items, clear your dining room table and make mockups of how the centerpieces, accent tables, and other decor you’ve chosen will look. This will give you an idea of how full and cohesive your design is. Once you put everything together, you may decide to leave something out or add additional items to complete the look. If you go the decor rental route, the rental company will typically do this for you, either with you present or send pictures if being physically there to offer feedback isn’t an option. You will create or approve a mock up and they will implement the design on the day of your wedding!

Pro-tip #9: After creating your mock up centerpieces, accent table arrangements, etc. take pictures! Make sure they are clear and include all elements of the design. Whoever is in charge of setting up your decor on the wedding day will be able to recreate the exact look you are going for! Even if you are the one setting up your decor for the actual wedding, the pictures are still incredibly beneficial. You will have a lot of things running through your mind on that day, and you don’t want to stress yourself over trying to remember the design you wanted. 

Pro-tip #10: If you don’t find exactly what you are looking for at a price you are comfortable with immediately, be patient! Check back with stores and second hand websites regularly as these items may become available or their price might drop as you get closer to your date! Don’t wait too long on items you feel particularly passionate about. If there is a decor piece that will make or break your day, commission the project so you are guaranteed to have it!

Utilizing lighting to accentuate your design-

In many ways, lighting is the single most important aspect of your wedding design. Lighting has the ability to make massive statements at a relatively low cost. This isn’t to say lighting is cheap, it is simply cost effective when considering the impact it will on the overall aesthetic. The main lighting categories you’ll need to consider include functional lighting, ambient lighting, dance floor lighting, and lights as decor.

Functional lighting- Guests and vendors will need to be able to see, so functional lighting is a necessity. This does not mean you need aggressively bright fluorescent lights, though! The functional lighting you choose can be beautiful and enhance your overall wedding design. 

Dripping string lights hanging from the ceiling or suspended by strings over the dining area help light up the dinner portion of your evening and translate into photographs beautifully. 

Tivoli market lights have been very popular over the past decade! They are a great way to increase visibility, correspond with a large variety of themes, and look amazing in pictures. They are so popular, in fact, that a lot of venues already have them and include them in their site fee.

Full “light canopies” are a more recent trend that can be accomplished in several ways. They are typically created by using smaller string lights placed closely together hung in a way that mimics a canopy. This look creates a “starry night” effect that works well with any theme! 

Large light up hanging lanterns or globes are also gorgeous and versatile. You can choose to select one size and color or use a variety of lanterns to add depth and dimension. The hanging lanterns are usually paper globes with light bulbs inside, but depending on your venue and desired aesthetic, larger metal lanterns can also be used! The paper globe lanterns are typically used for a more playful, whimsical design. The metal lanterns can be boho, rustic, vintage, or woodsy depending on the specific lanterns you find. Since there are so many lantern options, this approach is perfect for any theme! A recent trend is for lanterns to be used on tables in addition to an alternative overhead lighting option. 

Chandeliers are available in an array of styles and add a touch of elegance. Chandeliers are even being used at outdoor events! By bringing a typically “indoor” element to the outdoors you add an element of interest with your lighting.

No matter what lighting you go with, be sure that the bar, catering station, buffet table, water station, coffee station, and restrooms (including lighting on the way to the restroom) have plenty of lighting! Not only do the vendors at each respective station need to see particularly well, so do your guests when they are in these areas! If possible, add additional lighting (such as pinspot lights, overhead lighting, or a lamp) in these areas, to ensure everyone has plenty of visibility in order to do their job to the best of their ability.

Ambient lighting- Lighting is the perfect way to create ambience and complete your wedding design. While the functional lighting can be used to create ambience, there are several niche lighting options that can be added to set the mood!

Candles can be used in so many ways and send a lot of different messages. They are often placed on dinner tables to accent the centerpieces. They can either be free standing, in candelabras, candle votives, lanterns, or any other candle display you find! Since candles and the devices housing them come in so many colors, shapes, sizes, and styles they work well with any design theme. 

Candles can also venture right off the tables and into other areas of your wedding! Large lanterns, candelabras, wall sconces, floating candles, and free standing large candles displayed in clusters are just a few more unique ways to utilize candles. A more recent and unique trend is to create “candle gardens” with an array of large free standing candles for guests to either exit or enter through!

Uplights (lights that shine upwards on walls, trees, draping, etc.) can add to the overall ambience by adding pops of your wedding colors around the room. Most professional uplights can be set to whatever color you choose or even change colors if you prefer variety.These are an efficient and effective technique to incorporate your color scheme into the physical wedding venue. They truly have the ability to transform any space dramatically from one event to the next!

Pro-tip #11: It should be noted that lighting solely intended to enhance the ambience does not usually provide enough visibility on their own and should be used in conjunction with another overhead lighting source. 


Dance floor lighting- When the dancing portion of the evening arrives, dance floor lighting will communicate to guests that it is time to party! Typically your DJ or musician will provide these or offer them as an upgrade. There are a lot of options when it comes to dance floor lighting! Dance floor washes are great because they encompass your dance floor in colorful lighting creating a big impact with a single light type. Laser lights are fun for guests, because they can play with the light strands as they dance! Pulsing dance floor lights, rotating lights, or light shapes are some more fan favorites! There are also entire dance floors that light up and change colors to the beat of the music! Talk with your DJ or lighting professional to see what will be best to create your desired level of “party vibe.” 


Pro-tip #12: Avoid strobe lights if possible. Many people have strobe light sensitivities that you (and potentially even they) aren’t aware of. With so many dance floor lighting options available, choosing to leave out the strobe lights won’t take away from the dance party at all! If you absolutely adore strobe lights, by all means have them! Just be sure to have a strobe free space for guests to retreat to if they start feeling uncomfortable.


Lighting as decor- Certain lights can be utilized on their own as decor or to highlight other design elements. These lights are definitely “extras,” but if you have room in your budget to include them, they will add a lot to your wedding design!

Pinspot lights (mini spot lights) are perfect for accentuating specific design features. These are much smaller than standard spotlights, which makes them ideal for drawing attention to your cake, desserts, sweetheart table, or other areas you worked hard to design.

Gobos are a great way to add a level of customization to your wedding. This is a light that projects monograms either on a wall or the dance floor usually of the newly weds’ initials and sometimes the wedding date. Depending on your venue size and desired effect, usually one or two Gobos will be plenty!

Neon signs can be placed anywhere around the venue as a sign, photo op, or just a pretty piece of decor. The more generic ones that say things like “love,” “cake,” “drinks,” etc. are readily available for rent. Alternatively, you can commission a custom neon sign that says your names or whatever else you like. Going this route will leave you with a fun souvenir from your wedding to use somewhere in your home! If you are interested in having a custom sign created check Etsy and Amazon.


Pro-tip #13: Be sure that you have a way to hang or prop up your neon sign if necessary! Most venues won’t allow you to add nails or any other hanging technique that may cause permanent damage, so if your intent is for them to hang, create a plan to do so. 


Metal marquee letters are beautiful and can serve a variety of purposes. The small-medium ones can be used on or in front of your sweetheart table, dessert table, welcome table, etc. The large ones can either be used behind any of these tables, the dance floor, or any other area as a photo opportunity for your guests. 

Small string lights, or “fairy lights” can be incorporated into your centerpieces or other accent arrangements on special tables to achieve a whimsical feel. These are a great option if your venue does not allow candles!


Pro-tip #14: A huge bonus of lighting is how it impacts your photos! Photographers often account for a large portion of your overall wedding budget, so making sure those pictures are beautiful throughout the event is important! Adequate and particularly lovely lighting features will ensure your photo quality and content is consistently worth the expense all evening long!

Pro-tip #15: When placing lights be conscious of the effect they will have on photos. For example, placing large marquee letters directly behind the sweetheart table may create a backlighting effect on your faces. Talk with your photographer about the lighting you are planning to ensure your photos won’t be affected by your light placement. 

Pro-tip #16: Some lighting features require an outlet in order to operate. Take this into consideration when choosing placement, as they will need to be close enough to reach a power source. If they require an outlet, you will want to make sure the cord is not visible as this will take away from the rest of your beautiful design!

Utilizing flowers to accentuate your design-

Flowers are the perfect touch to complete your design and provide cohesion between your other decor pieces. Even if you choose to go a minimalist route with the flowers, they are still making a statement. By using flowers that have complimentary colors to the rest of your design, they will often bridge the gap between otherwise miss-matched pieces!

Personal flowers- Bouquets and boutonnieres help to incorporate you, your fiance, family members, and your wedding party into the overall design. The flowers will help make you and the VIP attendees appear cohesive with the rest of the colors and overall style without being too “matchy.” This is great for pictures and the general aesthetic as you walk around the celebration to greet guests. 

Centerpieces- The flowers in your centerpieces make the table feel fresh, full, and help spread your design across the reception area. They also assist in conveying the mood of your wedding to your guests! If you are having a formal wedding, a beautiful arrangement of roses on each table will help maintain the beauty and formality. If you are having a casual wedding, a bouquet of wildflowers spreads the vibe throughout the space. 

Altar/Aisle flowers- The ceremony space is usually the first designated area of your wedding that guests will see. This is a great chance to set the tone for the rest of the day! Wedding ceremony altars are often plain in order to provide each couple the opportunity to customize and make it their own. With an arrangement or two the altar is suddenly a gorgeous backdrop that you will be excited to be married in front of. Some people choose to add arrangements either at the front, back, or along the aisle to fill the space and incorporate more of their colors. Some florists will even repurpose the arrangements lining the aisle for your centerpieces and the arrangements on your altar for your sweetheart table!

Sweetheart table- You and your fiance are the stars of the show (for better or worse!) at your wedding, which means your sweetheart table will be getting a lot of attention! This space should not only be beautiful for aesthetic reasons, but also for your own happiness. Floral arrangements on and around your sweetheart table will help make this space a personal oasis to pop in and out of throughout the night!

Accent arrangements- To complete the wedding design, accent arrangements are often used on the dessert table, welcome table, gift table, and bar. Having these touches of color will help carry the design throughout your wedding!

Signage- Signs on their own have the potential to be a bit lackluster. If you have a simple sign, but your overall design isn’t minimalist, adding a garland or other floral arrangement will add a pop of color and make the sign feel like a more significant piece of the overall design.

Though flowers are a great addition to any design, they aren’t always necessary. Some people choose to skip them and only use greenery, and some people even choose to skip any kind of flora and fauna altogether!


Pro-tip #17: If you are working with a limited floral budget it is better to invest in a few special arrangements that you love, instead of spreading your budget thin and feeling disappointed by all of it! When you look back at your wedding photos you will see the bridal bouquet, the altar, and the sweetheart table over and over. Make sure you are happy with what you see!

You, your fiance, your bridal party, the guests & your design

Certain attire, hair, and makeup works better with different aesthetics. How everyone is dressed matters in relation to making everything cohesive! 

The bride- The bride’s dress, hair, and makeup are such special components to a wedding. All eyes will be on the bride, and by proxy, the dress. Choosing a dress that works with the overall aesthetic is important for the final wedding design. This doesn’t mean your colors or even textures need to match, per say, but rather that the dress style should match your design style. For example, a boho wedding needs a boho dress; a formal wedding needs a formal dress; a minimalist wedding needs a minimalist dress. There are so many options within each category, so your options are certainly not too limited! The bride’s hair and makeup should also be taken into consideration. While you do have more wiggle room on how these aspects will play into the overall design, it is still important to think about how they will work with the overall design and feel of the wedding day.

The groom- Much like the bride, the groom has a spotlight on him so the groom’s attire will be a focal point of the evening. It will look the best and complete the wedding design if the attire works with the rest of the aesthetic. Often, to make the groom stand out next to his groomsmen, his suit will be slightly different. This is a great opportunity to play even further into the wedding design. Both the groom and groomsmens’ suits should work with each other and the overall design, but they can do so in different ways! In addition to his attire, the groom should be groomed. Grooms don’t typically have their hair and makeup professionally done on wedding day (though it does happen!), but a fresh haircut and beard shaping is key! 

The wedding party- The wedding party gets a lot of attention, so what they wear matters for the overall aesthetic. Their attire should complement the bride(s) and/or groom(s) attire without distracting from or overshadowing it. Their attire is typically the two main colors of the wedding aesthetic, though occasionally one side of the wedding party will wear an accent color. In more recent trends, bridesmaids have been wearing mismatched dresses which provides the opportunity to incorporate all of the colors! Their attire should be flattering so they are comfortable and distractions inspired by an ill fitting wardrobe are minimized. Their attire should also match the formality of the event. Tuxedos and super formal evening dresses are not appropriate for all weddings! You can’t control the color or cut of your friends hair (though some people try!), but you can request they be freshly groomed and appropriately styled!

The guests- The exact attire the guests will wear is up to their own discretion, but you can (and should) specify the level of formality your wedding will be. This not only looks better and affects the overall aesthetic, but it also will make the guests more comfortable. No one wants to show up to a casual wedding in a ball gown! You can suggest or request colors and styles of attire for immediate family and Ushers who are participating in the ceremony and/or taking formal pictures with you, but typically people don’t suggest attire colors for the rest of their guests.

Pro-tip #18: The best accessory of all is a big, beautiful, genuine smile! Make sure everyone is feeling their best and going into the day in good spirits! 

How to budget for wedding design-

You can budget however much you are comfortable with spending on decor, but a good place to start is 6-8% of the overall budget for flowers, 5-10% on lighting and/or other rentals, and 2-3% on miscellaneous decor. 

While these percentages are a good starting place, in reality your own allocation of money may look very different. Your design budget will depend on what kind of aesthetic you are going for, the specific decor pieces you want, and what your venue or other vendors already include in their packages. 

Since lighting and flowers create such an impact and require their own respective vendors, they typically earn separate places on the budget breakdown aside from the rest of decor. However, it should be noted that florists often offer decor rentals, so some of your decor may be lumped into the florist category of your budget.

Table linens, chargers, special drinking glasses, centerpiece components aside from flowers, and signage will usually be the next largest cost for decor. A lot of venues, caterers, florists, wedding planners, DJs, or any combination of these vendors may include some or all of these items in their packages or offer them as upgrades. If this happens, these elements may fall into a separate category on your overall budget.

Candles, votives, or other smaller decor pieces are usually the smallest portion of the design budget. Again, one of your vendors may include these items in their packages or offer them as rentals. 

As you piece together your decor, track where each decor element is sourced from and reallocate money in the budget if needed. 

Tying it all together-

Design vision can, and almost always will, shift as planning moves forward. It is important to keep the design cohesive as the vision evolves. When certain aspects are altered, added, or removed be sure to consider how this change will work with your other design elements.  

As decor pieces are purchased, created, or rented be sure that new pieces will complement the existing pieces. This is most easily done by keeping the items or pictures of the items organized in one location so everything can be compared and contrasted as they are added to the wedding design!

Consult with your wedding planner, decorator, or florist as your vision evolves for a second opinion on your evolving vision. These professionals can offer valuable insight into how everything will work together, keep you on track if necessary, and provide advice on how to turn your dream into reality!

For More info & Helpful resources -

https://bumblebeelinens.com/blog/wedding-resources/

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

All Things Wedding Videography

Weddings have a way of passing by in a blur. The pictures and video are the only concrete things you will have left to remember all of the special little moments that flew by. Video has the ability to capture the emotion and actual audio from your wedding, which is a huge asset when you want to relive your day. A professional wedding video is an investment in your memories! When it comes to booking a videographer there is a lot to consider in order to feel confident in your selection. Follow this guide to have a positive experience from start to finish with your wedding videographer!

This article is divided into 3 sections:

  1. Things to consider about wedding videographers

  2. Questions to ask a videographer prior to booking

  3. What to do after booking to maximize the videographers services

Weddings have a way of passing by in a blur. The pictures and video are the only concrete things you will have left to remember all of the special little moments that flew by. Video has the ability to capture the emotion and actual audio from your wedding, which is a huge asset when you want to relive your day. A professional wedding video is an investment in your memories! When it comes to booking a videographer there is a lot to consider in order to feel confident in your selection. Follow this guide to have a positive experience from start to finish with your wedding videographer!

This article is divided into 3 sections:

  1. Things to consider about wedding videographers

  2. Questions to ask a videographer prior to booking

  3. What to do after booking to maximize the videographers services

Things to consider about wedding videos & videographers

  1. There are five main styles of wedding videography- There are 5 major styles of wedding videography, but they rarely exist on their own. They are often blended together at the discretion of the videographer. 

    1. Cinematic: A cinematic wedding video has a very Hollywood romance film feel. The videographer utilizes similar angles, transitions, colors, filters, and editing techniques used in the movies. These videos usually feature romantic or meaningful music that fades in and out as voice overs from the wedding vows and speeches are mixed in. This editing style doesn’t necessarily display events in chronological order, but instead tells your story from a more artistic point of view. This style focuses on playing up the significance and romance of the day!

    2. Short form: Short form is a quick highlight reel summarizing your day. The video will follow you from getting ready, to the ceremony, all the way through to dancing (usually; depending on how many hours are included in your package either the beginning or the end may be missed). Short form films are typically 3-5 minutes in length and can be done in cinematic, storytelling, or documentary style.

    3. Storytelling: Storytelling is very similar to cinematic, it's just a little less dramatic. Videographers who identify with this style tend to include all of those great angles, transitions, and creative techniques used in cinematic style. A true storytelling film will leave out the dramatic slow motion kisses and the video is usually in chronological order of events. The goal with this style is to capture your true essence as a couple vs. painting a picture of you as the lead in a blockbuster love story. Much like cinematic style, the videographer will often utilize voice overs or text at certain points to better define the moment. Storytelling is so similar to cinematic that the two are often used together. When blended, cinematic tends to be the choice for the ceremony and other key moments, while the rest of the day is done in a storytelling format.

    4. Documentary: Documentary style is the most unique compared to the other styles and by far the easiest to identify when you come across it. This style of wedding videography can often come off as “unpolished” compared to the other styles, but for the couples who are into it, it's perfect. Documentary style is less focused on making your day seem like a fairytale and more focused on making it feel genuine (not to say that the other styles aren’t genuine!). While watching a documentary style wedding film you feel like you are getting a “behind the scenes” look at the wedding, with funny little moments peppered amongst all of the beautiful ones. In contrast to the other styles, documentary style will often include audio snippets picked up throughout the day instead of just the ceremony, speeches, or any other planned speaking time.

    5. Traditional: Traditional wedding videography isn’t exactly your mother’s wedding video anymore, though it does focus on the same elements. This style of videography usually focuses on the “traditional” elements of a wedding like the ceremony, special dances, cake cutting, etc. These films usually document the day in chronological order and include more of the ceremony instead of just a few highlights from the vows. Videographers who work in this style stick to a more… well, traditional approach to creating a wedding video. This means the editing is more straightforward and the videographer will use hand held cameras and tripods instead of new age tools like stabilizers and drones. However, since the market is always evolving and couples are becoming more and more interested in the other styles of wedding videography, often traditional videographers will incorporate a lot of the characteristics of the other styles into their classic approach to capturing a wedding.

  2. Videographers are storytellers, but everybody will tell the same story a little differently. While there is a specific videography style called “storytelling,” all videographers are, in fact, storytellers. Like any narrative, the story is told through the lense (literally of this case) of the storyteller. When searching for a videographer there are a few important storytelling aspects to consider that will help guide you to a decision on how you’d like your story told.

    1. Film length and what is included- Film length (and cost) will vary between videographers. A lot of videographers offer a range of packages and film lengths for you to choose from. The first big choice you will need to make is if you want a short edit that serves as a highlight reel of your day, a much longer video that includes your full ceremony, special dances, and toasts, or something in between. 

    2. Directing style- After deciding on what length of film you’d like, you will need to consider what directing style you like. Do you want it to be documentary style, cinematic, traditional. etc.? Do they include a lot of wide sweeping shots or more close ups of their subjects? Videography is an art, and each artist is going to bring a slightly different approach to telling your story.

    3. Use of color and tone- After narrowing your search by video length and directing style, you will need to consider use of color and tones. While videographers typically don’t alter the colors as much as photographers, there is still variation between professionals. While editing your wedding video together, the videographer will be color correcting as you move from your getting ready space, to ceremony, to outdoors, to the reception, in order to create a cohesive video. This isn’t to say they create a monochromatic video, but it does give them an option to play up the lighter tones, darker tones, brighter colors, etc.   

Before diving into your videographer search, it is very useful to at least get a baseline of what video styles you are drawn to. With so many options out there, knowing your budget and building a general idea of what you like will help focus the search.

  1. Watch example videos and think about what you personally are taking away from them. After watching a sample video consider what you now know about the newly weds in the film. Your videographer should be able to capture your personalities and tell your love story over the course of even just a quick five minute wedding video. If at the end of the sample film you still feel like you don’t know anything about the couple, the videographer didn’t really tell their story. That being said, watch a few of their example videos to get a good idea of their abilities. Not every couple is comfortable in front of the camera which makes telling their story a little difficult. 

  2. Make sure your contract protects you. This is true for all vendors, but it is especially common to find vague or ambiguous wording in videography contracts. Time frames for video return, a length range of the video (i.e 3-5 minutes, 60-90 minutes, etc.), and additional costs of other services offered (in case you want to add or upgrade a service later) should be specifically outlined in your contract. If you love a videographer and find that this information is missing from their contract, ask for it to be added! If they refuse to add in concrete deliverable information, this is a pretty big warning sign that they aren’t confident in the promises they are making! 

  3. Be mindful when negotiating pricing. Providing and valuing a service is a daunting task for an artistic professional. These professionals spend years perfecting their craft and adjust their pricing based on their ever evolving skill level and demand for service. If you fall in love with a vendor who is out of your price range, it never hurts to ask if they can accommodate your budget. The key here though is asking and understanding if they aren’t able to make this accommodation. 

  4. Talk to the professional either in person or on the phone prior to booking. This is true for all vendors, but especially important with your videographer (and photographer!). Your videographer will be spending the entire day with you, so it is very important to find someone whose personality meshes with yours.

  5. The price you pay is not just for your wedding day. Videographers spend a lot of time on their clients. They dedicate time prior to the wedding to study your personalities, timeline, and shot list in order to be fully prepared to capture your day. After the wedding, they pour hours of time and energy into sifting through thousands of videos, finding the very best shots, and editing accordingly. They also invest a lot of money back into maintaining and upgrading their equipment to ensure they are providing the best service possible. Take all of this into consideration when discussing price! Depending on the professional, the length of time they spend at your wedding, and the film length you have commissioned they will have often spent upwards of 30 hours working on your wedding! Above all else, you are paying for an accurate representation of how the day unfolded so you can reminisce for years to come!

  6. A second videographer is very useful. Hiring one single videographer to capture your day will work out, but there are some limiting factors that this will inherently bring. First, while getting ready the bride and groom are typically not in the same room, and often not even at the same location. The videographer will have to choose which person to film getting ready, or quickly move locations in order to capture a little of both. For many situations, time will not allow for this transition. Additionally, with two videographers, one will be able to focus their attention to the important events (i.e. you at the altar during the ceremony, you during speeches, you during your dances, etc.), and the other videographer will be able to capture guest reactions. One videographer will have to pick and choose what subjects to film for any given moment and may miss out on some of those reactions.

Questions to ask prior to booking a videographer

Pro-tip: Not all of these questions will be necessary in every situation. Some may not be applicable to you and a lot of this may be answered on your videographer’s website or pricing menu. Be sure to carefully select the questions that are relevant to your unique situation to avoid overwhelming yourself and the videographer with too much information!

Package Insight-

  1. Are you available on my date?

  2. Does your package include a second videographer? If I’d like to add a second (or third!) shooter, what is the cost?

  3. How many cameras do you use to capture our day? (Hint: typically there will be between 2-3 cameras for a single videographer, and another 1 camera per additional videographer. The video team members will each hold a camera and place the others on tripods or another stationary device to capture your wedding from several angles.)

  4. Is a drone included in your package? If not, what is the cost of adding one?

  5. How many hours are included in your package?

  6. What do you charge for additional hours?

  7. Can I add additional hours on my wedding day if we decide we want you longer?

  8. What length video can I expect back from my wedding?

  9. What is the turnaround time for my wedding video?

  10. Will I have access to the raw footage?

  11. How do you deliver the video?

  12. Will the video be available online so I can share with my friends and family?

  13. Do you retain any of the rights to the videos?

  14. What do the rights you retain mean for me?

  15. Will you be posting our video on your website and/or social media? 

  16. Will you need our separate permission to submit the video to any third party publication or will you already have those rights per the contract?

  17. Do you charge a travel fee? If so, how much and for what distance?

  18. How do you record our audio? (Hint: save yourself the headache of researching all of the recording devices available. Instead, confirm that they have two methods of capturing sound, and know that the best sound quality will come from plugging directly into the sound board that the microphones are powered by.)

Experience-

  1. How long have you been a professional videographer?

  2. How long have you been a wedding videographer?

  3. How many weddings have you captured?

  4. How many weddings do you typically have in a single weekend?

  5. Have you worked at my venue before? If not, will you attend a venue walk through to scout out ideal video locations?

  6. Can we see additional videos that you have created aside from the ones on your website?

Style-

  1. How would you describe your videography style?

  2. How do you describe your working style? Are you in the background capturing the events unfolding around you? Are you more active in posing people?

  3. What kind of camera do you use?

  4. How will you and your team dress? (Hint: keep in mind that your videographer will be doing a lot of moving around, so while they should still dress appropriately for a wedding they typically don't dress as formally as the guests.)

  5. Do you bring additional lighting to adjust for indoor/outdoor/day/night transitions?

Editing the video-

  1. Can we request specific moments to be included in the video? (Hint: the videographer sifts through hours of footage and will have a very clear perspective on what footage is the best both in quality and cohesiveness with the rest of the film. However, you may have a particular moment in mind you’d like included, and knowing if you can make this suggestion up front will help manage your expectations.)

  2. Can I pick the music used in my video? If not, how do you select the songs you use?

  3. Are we able to use any song we’d like or will you provide a list for us to choose from?

  4. After I receive my video, can I request changes? Is there a limit to the amount or types of changes that can be made?

Logistics-

  1. When will we receive the contract?

  2. How much do you require for a deposit? When is it due?

  3. What is your payment schedule like? (Hint: most videographers take payments in 2-3 installments: 1st payment is the deposit, the remainder is due at varying times before the wedding. The exact payment schedule varies amongst professionals.)

  4. What is your refund or cancellation policy if I cancel?

  5. What is your refund or cancellation policy if you cancel?

  6. Do you have liability insurance? Does it cover your second shooter and assistant(s), as well?

  7. Do you carry backup equipment?

  8. What is the backup plan if you are unable to personally work my wedding for any reason? Is this written into the contract?

  9. How long do you keep our raw footage after we receive our video?

  10. Do you have experience working with my photographer? If so, how do you work with and around each other to ensure everyone is able to capture the important moments in full?

Bonuses-

  1. Do you offer any additional services, like a photo booth or photography?

  2. If you don’t personally offer photography, do you have a photographer you recommend?

  3. Are you available to video any pre-wedding events (i.e. bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, engagement party, etc.)? If so, what are the rates for these?

Maximizing your videographer’s services

  1. Consider what songs you’d like in the video. Spend some time thinking about what song you’d like to use. The videographer can’t edit your video until they have your song selection, so having this picked out prior to your wedding will streamline the editing process and ensure a timely return!

  2. Think about lighting in your getting ready space. Natural light always looks best in videos, so take this into consideration when selecting a location for getting ready. If you are getting ready in a hotel, request a room with a lot of windows! If you are getting ready at a private property, be sure to pick a room with a lot of natural light!

  3. Provide examples of videos you like and mention specifics about what stands out to you. By giving specifics about what you want beforehand your videographer will be able to fully understand what you are looking for and produce a film that you will ultimately be thrilled with!

  4. Check in with your videographer beforehand to build rapport. Your video will look the absolute best if you are natural and comfortable. This is best achieved by feeling comfortable with the person holding the camera!  

  5. Prepare something written to read for your voiceovers. Write out your vows on notecards or write each other a card, and then find a quiet space to read them aloud while you are getting ready. This is a great way to either practice your vows or connect with your fiance prior to the ceremony. Either way, reading these with just you and the camera is the perfect chance to capture those beautiful emotions that will have you tearing up every time you rewatch your video (with optimum audio quality)!

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

Wedding Planning Tips

Wedding planning has so many moving pieces. Feel confident and worry free by following this list of tips and tricks!

Wedding planning is an exciting and unique journey. There are so many ways to make the planning process smooth and stress-free. Below are 32 of our favorite ways to keep the planning process fun!

1. Budget is a great starting place

Whether you are working with a $3k budget or a $300k budget, knowing your maximum budget will help guide all other aspects of planning your wedding. Come up with an overall number that you and your fiance (or whoever is funding the wedding) are comfortable with, and then do a little research to feel out how this money should be divided up amongst the many wedding vendors. Click here for a guide to building your wedding budget breakdown!

2. Guest count matters

If money truly is not an object, then guest count should be the first step to planning. Knowing how many guests you need to comfortably accommodate will help you select a venue, caterer, food service style, bar, sound system, etc. Guest count will have a huge impact on the overall budget. As you create your budget breakdown, play around with the guest count to see how it will affect the way money is allocated.

3. Consider outside factors that may affect guest and vendor availability

There are often a lot of factors to consider when thinking of a wedding date. It is fairly common for couples to go into wedding planning with a date already in mind. Before becoming too attached to any particular date, consider what other events are happening around this time that might affect guests ability to make it and overall vendor availability.

For example, if your town is hosting a wine festival on July 25, many local vendors might be booked to participate in this event. An event like this might draw a lot of visitors from out of town, making finding a hotel room or even reasonably priced flights harder to come by for guests. Not to mention, even your in town guests might already have pre-planned to attend the alternative event!

4. Check the weather!

Weather has the ability to drastically alter how your day will go and add a lot of unplanned expenses. A particularly windy day at an outdoor venue can cause a lot of problems! If the weather is too hot or too cold, guests might not be inclined until the end of the event. While it is always good to continue to check the weather and make reasonable climate control attempts (i.e. umbrellas, tents, heaters, etc.) picking a date that is generally at a time when the weather is temperate will save you a lot of stress throughout the planning process! 

Pro-tip #1: You can Google any date and find the weather trends on that exact date for the last few hundred years. Of course, this can’t guarantee the exact weather on your wedding day, but it can at least give you a little insight into what the weather will likely be. 

5. The sunset waits for no one

The sunset will happen when it happens. You can’t control it, so plan for it! In order to get those amazing golden hour shots, shape the rest of your event around this opportune time!  Sunset is important for more than just aesthetics, though! When the sun goes down, the overall climate will change, and accommodations may be needed to keep guests comfortable for the duration for the celebration! 

Pro-tip #2: Google what time the sunset will be when planning your timeline! Google knows all, so even 18 months away from your wedding date you can look up exactly what time the sun will be setting on your wedding day. Having this time in mind will make it easier to map out when certain events should occur.

6. Consolidate spending and rack up credit card points!!

Opening a specific credit card for wedding related expenses is great for several reasons. First, if all the expenses are made in one place it will be way simpler to track spending. It will also be easier to communicate these expenses to other people who might be financially invested in your wedding. This is also a great opportunity to rack up some points! Weddings are a huge expense, so you might as well get something in return! If you rack up enough points you may just be able to pay for your honeymoon!

7. Take vendor recommendations

There is no need to reinvent the wheel! Wedding professionals spend every weekend meeting and making connections with other amazing vendors. Vendors are highly likely to suggest vendors they only truly feel confident in, as they are putting their own reputation on the line by offering these referrals. 

8. Guests = Money

If you find yourself looking to cut costs, cut the guest list. Each guest costs money to host, so if you find yourself in a financially tough situation, take another look at the guest list! This is just another great reason why starting with the budget is ideal. By taking a careful look at how much money you can spend on the wedding you will have a clear understanding of how many guests and at what cost per person will work for you!

Pro-tip #3: Make sure that you have a very clear handle on the budget before sending out invitations. This way if you need to cut the guest list you don’t have to officially uninvite anyone!

9. Advocate early for yourself

Prior to booking, vendors will be more likely to make modifications to their packages and overall price to earn your business. Once the contract is signed and the deposit has been paid they are typically less likely to throw in freebies, because that isn’t what was in the initial agreement. A lot of vendors are firm on their prices, but many are happy to make custom packages to ensure you are satisfied with what you are signing up for!

Pro-tip #4: When asking for free upgrades or a discount, remember you are asking a favor, so ask nicely! These vendors are professionals which means they rely on your business to provide for themselves and their families. While they may want to accommodate your budget, they may not be financially able to do so. 

10. Stay organized throughout planning

Staying organized will help keep planning on track and fun. There are many approaches to wedding organization, but no matter what method works for you, stick to it! Update your information regularly, keep everything in one place, and check in on your to-do lists often! For a full list of tips and tricks on staying organized, click here!

11. Chunk out your planning

Remember in school when your teachers would write out the big goals of the day and the smaller tasks you’d do in order to achieve these goals? Well, they were really onto something! Break down your to-do list into sections to make planning more manageable, easier to track, and more rewarding! Click here, for some useful tips and an idea of how to build your own planning timeline.

12. Draft of your day-of timeline early on

Create a rough draft of your wedding day fairly early on in your wedding planning process. Map out how you would like the day to be paced and what time you’d like major events to happen. This may (and probably will) change quite a bit as your plans shift, but having a general outline will help you menally prepare and offer guidance as you book vendors. When it comes time to sign contracts with vendors they will want to know a start and finish time. Certain vendors (like your venue, bartenders, photographer, videographer, and DJ) will have packages that include a certain amount of hours. Having a rough draft of your timeline will give you a better idea of how many hours you need them onsite.

13. Stock your bar...

...with the appropriate amount of bartenders. Avoid long lines at the bar by hiring an appropriate amount of staff for your guest count. Typically for a simple bar (beer, wine, 1-2 pre batched cocktails), you need one bartender per 50 guests to keep the line down. If you are having a fully open bar where guests can order whatever drink they want you will need an extra bartender or two to make sure guests are taken care of in a timely manner.

Pro-tip #5: Take the bar size into consideration. If your venue has a smaller physical bar space, hire an amount of bartenders that make sense for the space. If you are having a large wedding with a small physical bar space, consider renting a second bar to keep the line under control! Small bar lines = full dance floor!

14. Plan for the un-plannable

When going through your budget, make sure to leave some “flex” money for miscellaneous items that may pop up over the course of planning. There are almost always unforeseen expenses that usually aren’t discovered until money has already been spent in other areas. Instead of feeling like you have to blow the budget on these items, anticipate them! 

15. When in doubt, ask your professionals

Wedding professionals spend a lot of time at weddings and have gained a lot of valuable insight over their years of experience. Your wedding professionals are usually very well versed in what seemingly simple touches can make the day run smoother! Take their advice into consideration. If it works with your vision, great!

16. Postage points

After carefully researching and designing the perfect invitations, no one wants to stick an ugly stamp on the envelope. Instead of choosing from the limited options available at the post office, consider ordering your stamps online at USPS.com. 

Pro-tip #6: Weigh your invitations before you send them out so you can be confident the postage attached is adequate to get your invitation to its destination. If you have an oddly shaped envelope, be sure to ask at the post office about the best method and postage amount to ensure delivery.

Pro-tip 7: Pre-stamp your return RSVP cards. Guests are more likely to quickly send their RSVP cards back if they are pre-stamped.

17. Not all the guests will be able to attend, and that is okay!

Things happen and not everyone will be able to attend your wedding. This is okay! On average about 15-20% of invitees won’t be able to attend. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you! Just remember, guests cost money, so even though you’d love for everyone to celebrate with you, saving money is a huge silver lining to the “No” RSVPs. Alternatively, this will open up a few spaces for the friends that you thought you might not be able to invite. 

18. Be consistent with the kiddos

Adults only weddings are becoming more and more common, but there is still a lot of grey area on what that exactly means. A lot of “adults only” weddings will still have a few rugrats running around for any number of reasons. When you send out your invitations specify the kid restriction. You have four options: all kids are welcome, "adults only," immediate family kids only, or you can invite everyone to bring their children and provide childcare for the kids, either at the venue, in a hotel room, or in someone’s home. Consistency is key, though! If you allow some friends to bring children, it is best to allow everyone to bring their children. (Immediate family and kiddos in the bridal party are an exception!)

19. The A, B, C’s to your guest list

This is not a fun guideline to suggest, but it is a good one to follow. When preparing your guest list, separate the list into 3 sections: your “A listers” (the people that are invited no matter what); the “B listers” (the people who you hope to invite if there is enough room); and the “C listers” (the people you want to invite, but will only invite if people from one of the first two lists drop out). This will make cutting down your guest list a lot easier if it becomes necessary down the road. It will also help you prioritize your budget. If having everyone from all three lists is important, allocate money in such a way that this is possible!

20. Limit the plus ones

Considering you are mapping out an A, B, C guest list and trying to track a budget, you do not need to allow every guest a plus one! 

A general rule of thumb, if a guest is married their significant other needs to be invited. Even if you don’t include a section for a plus one on their RSVP, their significant other’s invitation is implied. If, for whatever reason, a significant other is not invited that needs to be explicitly communicated to your guest. 

Aside from married couples, it is nice to allow guests who may not know a lot of other attendees a plus one. If someone is requesting a plus one and you simply can’t accommodate the other person, just let your guest know that you’ve already had to make difficult decisions about your guest list and you don’t have the room (or budget!)

For everyone else, they should not expect to be allowed a plus one unless specified on the invitation. 

Pro-tip #8: Try to avoid mentioning budget as a restriction unless the situation specifically makes sense to bring this up. Guests will offer to pay for their plus one in lieu of not bringing one which doesn’t really solve your problem if your real issue is space or simply not wanting strangers around for an intimate celebration.

21. Guest transportation

Providing guest transportation to and from a hotel is always nice, but it isn’t expected nor is it necessary if your budget is starting to be stretched a little thin. If faced with a choice, it is best to either skip it completely or provide transportation for everyone. Having one or two shuttles to take a portion of guests (bridal party and immediate family not included), but not the rest of your guests can be confusing. Guests may see a shuttle leave and wait for another one, that isn’t coming. 

Pro-tip #9: If you are tight on money, but want to offer some sort of transportation accommodation, sign up with a ride-share company and provide guests with a discount code. You can pre-set the discount amount and the maximum amount you are willing to cover. 

22. Room blocks and your budget

If you have a lot of out of town guests it is nice to find a hotel in close proximity to your wedding venue for guests to stay during their visit. Setting aside a room block will often allow guests to book at a lower rate than finding a place on their own. 

That being said, a lot of the hotels that offer room blocks will hold you financially accountable for the unbooked rooms in your block. If possible, avoid this kind of arrangement! If this is your only option, only set aside enough rooms for your immediate family that you know will be booking or skip the block completely! You can typically add rooms later on if necessary, though they may be at a different rate than the initial block. 

Pro-tip #10: If there is a large event taking place nearby on the weekend of your wedding, a room block is crucial to guarantee guests can find accommodations! 

Pro-tip #11: Avoid being held financially accountable for unbooked rooms in your blocks by not making a block, but instead suggest a few nearby hotels for guests to choose from.  This takes the guesswork out of the hotel search for guests, but will potentially save you a massive added expense. 

23. Document everything in writing

Chances are, leading up to the wedding day you will have a lot of discussions with your vendors about small details that aren’t included in your contracts. In order to track the information being shared, and ensure that all of the details are covered, make sure everything is in writing. 

There are often several people working with each company you have booked for your wedding. Having everything in writing will keep information consistent between individuals within the company.  

Even if you have discussed something several times over the phone, send a follow up email outlining the details you need your vendor to take care of on the day of. After sharing the same details with so many people involved with the wedding, it can be challenging to remember exactly who was told what, but having everything in writing is a great way to keep track of this. 

24. Think through the day-of set up logistics

Talk to your venue about what time you and your vendors will have access to the space for set-up. Carefully consider how much time and helping hands your decor will take to set up. Remember that if you aren’t hiring outside help, you will need to make sure you have enough vehicles to transport decor, hands to delegate the set up between, and ample time to have everything done and done well! If you are hiring outside help, it is still important that transporting everything to and from the venue has been thoroughly planned and enough hands have been hired to properly set up in the time allotted! Click here for a thorough day of checklist to make sure you have accounted for all of the details!

25. Make it official with your marriage license

Do a little research into the process for applying for a marriage license prior to showing up at your courthouse. Make sure that you know the timeframe before your wedding that you can apply for your marriage license. 

On the day-of designate someone to be responsible for storing your marriage license in a safe pre-determined space so that you can send it in and legally be married! 

Pro-tip #12: In the state of California, technically, it is the officiant’s responsibility (and legal obligation) to return your marriage license within 10 days of the ceremony. However, if, for whatever reason, the marriage license isn’t returned you are still married. (source)

26. Become well versed in your venue’s policies and protocols

If you are holding your wedding ceremony at a place of religious worship, discuss what expectations the venue has of you and your guests. For example, do they have a specific time that all guests need to be off the property?; how strict are they on ceremony start time?; do your guests need to dress a certain way?; are you allowed to place any decor?; is flash photography allowed?; etc.?

Reception venues (or combined ceremony and reception venues) often have their own policies and protocols that they expect you and your vendors to adhere to. Most venues will provide a list of these rules, but if you are not provided any, ask for a specific breakdown of their policies. This will help you prepare appropriately and protect/mentally prepare you if something goes wrong that would result in the venue charging additional fees.

Pro-tip #13: Venues will often ask for signed copies of their rules from your vendors. If they don’t require this, it is still a good idea to share the house rules with your vendors so they have an opportunity to understand what the venue restricts and requires of them.

27. Discuss your values, and allocate money accordingly

When you begin to breakdown your budget into an outline (see item #1 on this list), typically you will want to start by writing out the full list of vendors that you will need. From there, discuss with your fiance what matters the most to you both and allocate money accordingly. You may LOVE flowers and want to designate a higher percentage of your overall budget towards this! By doing this in the beginning of planning you will help guide your vendor selection and stay within budget.

28. Keep guests engaged by putting yourself in their shoes

The guests are there to celebrate YOU, so make sure they are well taken care of! Prepare an adequate sound system so that they can see and hear throughout your ceremony and reception. Keep them comfortable by providing climate control and offering amenities such as blankets, flat shoes for dancing, and plenty of access to food, water, and shade. Schedule the day so that activities aren’t during high distraction times or too spaced out allowing guests to get antsy. Click here for timeline building help! Think through the day from the guests perspective to ensure everything is engaging, comfortable, and fun throughout the event.

29. Keep contact information handy!

Keep all of your vendor contact information organized and easily accessible on your wedding day. Things happen, and you don’t want to waste too much time tracking down a vendor’s phone number if you need to contact them.

Pro-tip #14: Designate someone as a point of contact for vendors on your wedding day. If you have a coordinator or planner they will be the go-to person for the other vendors. If you don’t have a professional, designate a family member or bridesmaid to be the point of contact so you don’t have 20 vendors calling you with set-up questions on the wedding day. Even if you have a planner or coordinator, it is still a good idea to designate a bridesmaid as a contact for that person!

30. Gals gas gals up; dress shop with your friends

Dress shopping is best when done with a small group. This can be an emotionally taxing process for so many reasons and its best to have a solid support system there to keep you grounded. Make sure to bring honest friends so they can tell you what is flattering, keep your energy up if you start to feel discouraged, and help you stay firm on your budget. 

Pro-tip #15: Support is so much more than telling you are gorgeous in everything (we already know that you are!). True support is helping you make a realistic choice based on your budget, vision, and body type. Make sure that the people you bring along are ready to keep your spirits high, but your expectations realistic.

Pro-tip #16: Don’t bring too many people while you are trying on dresses. Ideally, you will have 1-3 people tagging along to your dress appointments. Two main reasons for this: (1) too many people can be distracting. Having voices for guidance is important, but too many opinions will quickly become overwhelming. (2) Most bridal shops have small showrooms so there isn’t a ton of room for a whole gathering. If you do show up with more people than they are comfortable with, the stylist may feel the need to rush you along to clear the space. 

Pro-tip #16.5: Call ahead to the bridal shop to see how many people they can comfortably accommodate.

31. Manage your to-do list

Staying on top of your to-do list throughout planning will help you accomplish every nitty-gritty task you have planned. However, when you get down to the wire, don’t push yourself to the point of wedding burn out! In that final month, the smallest little details that somehow managed to slip through the cracks are finally coming to light. Skip the things you don’t truly need, delegate the things you can, and tackle what you really need to do head on! In that final month stretch, you want to be getting excited for the wedding, not pushing yourself to the point where you’re excited for it to be over.

32. Don’t sweat the small stuff

This is the best and most consistent wedding advice you will probably receive. Things may not go as planned. Some things may not go as planned to the point that you will need to address them after the fact. On your wedding day, the most important thing is getting married! Everything else is extra. No matter what happens, as long as you are with the person you love, your wedding day is already perfect! Stay focused on the positives and live in the moment! Chances are, if you are able to focus on all of the best parts, you won’t even notice the little hiccups that may occur!

Pro-tip #17: Hiring a day-of coordinator will offer peace of mind so that you don’t feel the need to look for the small hiccups. You can live in the moment and feel confident that someone else is handling the behind the scenes aspects for you! A great coordinator will take care of everything before you even notice something wasn’t quite as planned!

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

Bridal Shower Planning Guide

A bridal shower is a great milestone in the wedding preparation journey for the bride to enjoy the company of friends and family before the wedding! The bridal shower is different from the bachelorette party in that it is typically shorter and a more “tame” gathering. Follow the guide below, or share it with the event host, for a smooth bridal shower planning experience!

A bridal shower is a great milestone in the wedding preparation journey for the bride to enjoy the company of friends and family before the wedding! The bridal shower is different from the bachelorette party in that it is typically shorter and a more “tame” gathering. Follow the guide below, or share it with the event host, for a smooth bridal shower planning experience!

Why have a bridal shower-

A bridal shower is a party where friends and family gather to shower the bride with gifts! Much like a baby shower functions as a chance to prepare an expecting mother for a life transition, the bridal shower is meant to provide the bride with gifts that will help prepare her for the upcoming life changes that marriage will bring. While the primary function of this event is to dote upon the bride, it is also a fun opportunity to play games, introduce friends from different walks of life, and build memories!

When should the bridal shower be?

Bridal showers typically occur in the final few months, or even weeks, before the wedding. It is best to schedule this just before the final stages of planning take up all of the bride’s free time! Scheduling this party 30-45 days prior to the wedding is ideal!

The bridal shower will typically occur during daylight hours as opposed to being a nighttime event. 

Example bridal shower planning timeline-

3 months prior to wedding- 

Set a budget for the bridal shower

Create a guest list for the bridal shower

Gather addresses or email addresses of the guests

Decide on the general “feel” for the bridal shower (formal, casual, something in between?)

Find a venue to host the shower

2 months prior to wedding-

Plan the food and drink menus

Send out invitations to bridal shower

Find decor for bridal shower

Select attire for bridal shower

Book any necessary vendors

Plan activities for the bridal shower

1 month prior to wedding-

Purchase bar and food materials

Purchase flowers & decor

Host bridal shower

Who hosts the bridal shower?

More often than not the bridesmaids, bride or groom’s mother, or another close friend or family member will host the bridal shower. It is uncommon for the bride to host this event for herself since the primary function is to shower the bride with gifts.

How should I invite people?

As always, there are no set rules. Sending formal invitations by mail is great if you have the time and budget, but not necessary by any means! For bridal showers, it is a more recent trend to create a cute virtual invite that is distributed via email. This bridges the gap between official invitations and something that requires less effort. This also provides the opportunity to link a registry directly on the invitation so guests can conveniently click the link and purchase a gift!

Who should be invited?

The etiquette guru, Miss Manners, says you can only invite people who are invited to the wedding and I have to agree with her on this one. Unlike the engagement or bachelorette party, the bridal shower’s main purpose is for people to bring you gifts. Inviting someone to give the bride a gift, but not the wedding is a bit rude.

Traditionally this is a women only event, but this is changing more and more everyday. The invites can be extended to all the womyn invited to the wedding who are particularly close friends with the bride. The best rule of thumb is to limit the guest list to only the bride’s closest family and friends. Remember, the bride’s family is growing with the wedding! It is completely normal and acceptable to invite people from the groom’s side of the family if the relationship allows!

Here is a general outline of who is typically invited:

  • The bridesmaids

  • The womyn the bride is close with in her immediate families 

  • The womyn the bride is close with in her extended families

  • Close friends in the area who are also invited to the wedding. This isn’t an event that people would typically travel for, so if you have close friends in the area add them to the list!

Pro-tip #1: If you invite some immediate or extended family, you DO NOT have to invite them all. Invite whoever makes sense in the bride’s unique situation.

Pro-tip #2: The groom doesn’t usually attend the bridal shower. He often will make an appearance at some point, but typically doesn’t stay for the duration of the party.

What information should the invitations include?

As always, names, date, location, and time will need to be included on the invitation. The host should also specify what kind of refreshments can be expected (appetizers only, full dinner, hosted bar, BYOB, no alcohol, etc.). Depending on what kind of theme you are going with, the headline on the invitation can communicate this information. For example, “Brunch and Bubbly Bridal Shower” or “I Do BBQ.”

Guests are expected to bring gifts, so be sure to include the bride’s wedding registry on the invitation.

Who should pay for the bridal shower?

The cost of the bridal shower typically will fall on the hostess(es). This can vary on a case by case basis depending on financial situations. The bride is never expected to pay for any portion of the bridal shower, though, on very rare occasions may be asked to contribute on certain items. For example, if the person hosting the event does not personally drink alcohol and doesn’t feel comfortable paying for it for guests, the bride may be asked to provide the alcohol. Typically the host would ask someone else close to the bride before coming to the bride with this request, though. Much like the actual wedding, budget isn’t what defines the day. The most important aspect is celebrating your love while surrounded by the people who mean the most to you! (See the end of blog for full example budget breakdowns.)

Where should the bridal shower be hosted?

The bridal shower can be hosted in any venue, it will just depend on the size of the guest list and access to space. While the event can be as formal or informal as the hostess(es) would like, the shower is often thrown in the maid of honor or a family member’s home or backyard. If the hostess(es) does not have space, or just isn’t into the idea of having this kind of gathering in their personal space, a restaurant or smaller venue is always an option! Since this event doesn’t typically include a full meal, choosing to host at a venue might add unnecessary cost.

The bridal shower is usually thrown in the city that the hostess(es) is local to. This may not be the city the bride lives in, so she will need to travel to party. This isn’t typically an event people besides the bride would travel for, so potential guests living outside of the hostess(es) city may not make sense to invite. That is okay! Communicate with those friends and family so they understand why they aren’t receiving an invitation!

What should we do at the bridal shower?

Opening the presents is the primary activity of a bridal shower. Typically around ⅔ of the way through the party everyone will gather around the bride as she opens gifts. Since dinner isn’t usually provided, a few other activities will take place to keep guests entertained and engaged. Since the guests are generously offering gifts to the bride, the groom will often make a quick appearance to say hello and thank everyone. During his appearance, there are several games to play that will include him! Some ideas include the shoe game, a Q & A with the bride(s) and groom(s), or a date night guessing game! For a full list of ideas, click here to visit our Pinterest page! No matter what kind of activities are planned, it is always nice if the guest of honor can make a quick thank you speech. The bridesmaids and/or the bride’s family have typically offered a lot of support leading up to this point aside from hosting the shower and it is always nice for the bride to show her appreciation!

Example bridal shower timeline

  • 1pm- Guests arrive. Everyone mingles, make appetizer plates, grabs their drinks, and makes anonymous date night suggestion.

  • 1:30pm- Game 1: “Guess the Dress” game

  • 1:45pm- Host reminds everyone to enter ideas into the anonymous date night suggestions

  • 1:45pm- Toasts from mother of the groom, mother of the bride, grandma, and bridesmaid who won’t give a toast at the wedding

  • 2pm- Slide show of friends/family pictures viewing

  • 2:15pm- Game 2: Bride reads anonymous date night suggestions aloud and guesses who made each suggestion

  • 2:45pm- Groom arrives, says hello

  • 3pm- Game 3: Shoe game with Groom

  • 3:15pm- Groom leaves

  • 3:15pm- Bride opens presents (maid of honor tracks gifts for thank you notes)

  • 3:45pm- Group picture

  • 4pm- Bridal shower concludes

Is a full dinner expected at the bridal shower?

Everyone appreciates a nice full meal, but it isn’t expected nor is it the norm at bridal showers. Just be sure the hostess(es) specifies either way on the invitation so guests can plan accordingly!

Typically light refreshments are offered. Some ideas include a cheese board, fruit/veggie platters, chips and dips, cupcakes, cookies, or anything else that is easy to grab and snack on. If you want something cost effective, but a little more filling consider thinly sliced pizzas, pasta salads, hamburger sliders, or even mini tacos! For beverages, a few common trends are mimosa bars, pre-batched cocktails or mocktails, wine and/or wine spritzers, or build your own Bloody Mary bars. For a list of food and beverage ideas and display inspiration click here!

What should be included in the budget?

This completely depends on what the hostess(es) chooses to include! Below are some typical things to consider budgeting for:

  • Catering/food

  • Tables, chairs, plates, cups, flatware, napkins, etc. 

  • Bar/drinks

  • Cake/dessert

  • Invitations

  • Decor

  • Miscellaneous 

Of course there are endless approaches to maximize any budget! Below are 3 example budgets for Bridal showers.

Example 1 (the “bells and whistles” example)- overall budget $9k

40 guests, 3 hour party

  • Party Planner- $850

  • Venue (mother of the bride’s backyard)- FREE

  • Caterer (Cheese/fruit grazing board)- $2k

  • Bar (mimosa & bloody mary bar w/ bartender)- @ $15/person = $600

  • Cake from speciality bakery (2 tier 6” base, 4” top tier)- $450

  • Cupcake and macaroon display- $200

  • Ice cream caddy & attendant- $200

  • Photographer- $500

  • Music/entertainment (Live guitarist & singer)- $625

  • Rentals- $500

    • 4 large floor tables (low the the ground)- $120

    • Festive carpeting to go below table- $150

    • Cushions for everyone to sit on- $120

    • 1 large wicker peacock chair- $50

    • Delivery- $60

  • Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$2/household = $70

  • Decor- $1,650

    • 2 large balloon displays @$200/arrangement = $400

    • 2 small balloon arrangements to accent bar and dessert table = $200

    • Florist (4 centerpieces & 4 small accent arrangements for signs & special tables)- $800

    • Signage (custom neon welcome sign, bar sign, cards and gifts sign etc.)- $250

  • Miscellaneous- $1,150

    • Photo booth (2 hrs)- $250

    • Party favors (ex. Spa goodie bags)- @$20/each = $800

    • Gift & activity table (sign, card box, etc.)- $100

TOTAL: $8,795

Example 2 (the “mid range backyard” example)- overall budget $1.2k

40 guests, 3 hour party

  • Venue (MOH backyard/patio/living room)- FREE

  • Veggie/fruit/easy apps- $200

  • Bar (DIY mimosa bar & pre batched cocktails)- $350

    • 1 pre batched cocktail (ex. Vodka/Grapefruit)

    • 2 handles of mid-range vodka @$40/handle = $80

    • Grapefruit juice $30

    • 1 case mid-range champagne @ $15/btl $180

    • Orange juice/guava/other juice $40

    • Ice for cocktails = $20

  • Cake (single tier cake from local grocer)- $35

  • Cupcake display (homemade)- $15

  • Rentals (tables, chairs)- $300

    • 4 tables & table cloths @$30/table = $120

    • 40 chairs @ $3/chair = $120

    • Delivery- $60

  • Music/entertainment (make your own playlist and play through your own speaker)- FREE

  • Invitations (Send out email with curated digital invite)- FREE

  • Decor- $50

    • DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 5 bushels @ $5/bushel = $25

    • Dollar store vases 1 per table @$1/each = $4

    • Candles & dollar tree candle votives (2 per table)- $2/each = $8

  • Miscellaneous- $250

    • Party favors (ex. Goodie bag)- @$5/each = $200

    • Gift table (sign, card box, etc.)- $50

TOTAL: $1,200


Example 3 (the “ballin’ on a budget” example)- overall budget $300

40 guests, 3 hour party

  • Venue (MOH backyard/patio/living room)- FREE

  • Veggie/fruit/pretzels/hummus/chips/dip- $50

  • Bar (DIY mimosa bar & pre batched cocktails)- $170

    • 1 pre batched cocktail (ex. Vodka/Grapefruit)

    • 2 handles of inexpensive vodka @$20/handle = $40

    • Grapefruit juice $30

    • 1 case inexpensive champagne @ $5/btl $60

    • Orange juice $20

    • Ice for cocktails $20

  • Tables/chairs (use MOH existing furniture) FREE

  • Disposable plates & napkins- $5

  • Cupcake & cookie display (homemade)- $25

  • Music/entertainment (make your own playlist and play through your own speaker)- FREE

  • Invitations (Send out email with curated digital invite)- FREE

  • Decor- $50

    • DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 3 bushels @ $5/bushel = $15

    • Amazon decor purchases $20

    • Print signs from computer FREE

TOTAL: $300

As you can see, the cost of the third example can easily decrease by skipping the alcohol, only offering BYOB, cutting out all decor, and/or skipping dessert. Basically this is all to say, no budget is too small!

Note: These numbers may seem intimidating. Usually, all of your bridesmaids will split the cost of these items. If you have 6 bridesmaids, the price per person is much more manageable. Also keep in mind, 40 guests for a bridal shower is on the larger side of average. Invite less people to get the cost down! 

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Alexa Lewis Alexa Lewis

All Things Bridal Party

Aren’t best friends great? They are there to offer love and support through all of life’s good, bad, and ugly moments. Having friends stand along side you on your wedding day is a beautiful symbol of this friendship. But there are often a lot of questions surrounding the bridal party. Here is some insight into all things bridal party.

This blog is divided into 7 sections:

  1. Deciding what level of support you need from your bridal party

  2. Asking your bridal party to be your bridal party

  3. How to select bridal party wardrobe

  4. Who should pay for what

  5. What to delegate to the bridal party & managing your own expectations

  6. Tips on keeping your bridal party happy

  7. Bridal party gifts

Aren’t best friends great? They are there to offer love and support through all of life’s good, bad, and ugly moments. Having friends stand along side you on your wedding day is a beautiful symbol of this friendship. But there are often a lot of questions surrounding the bridal party. Here is some insight into all things bridal party.

This blog is divided into 7 sections:

  1. Deciding what level of support you need from your bridal party

  2. Asking your bridal party to be your bridal party

  3. How to select bridal party wardrobe

  4. Who should pay for what

  5. What to delegate to the bridal party & managing your own expectations

  6. Tips on keeping your bridal party happy

  7. Bridal party gifts

Deciding what level of support you will need from your bridal party

Before asking your bridal party to be in your wedding, you will need to figure out what level of support you need from them. This is important for several reasons. First, you will need to let them know up front if you need a lot of support. Not everyone will have the time, money, or skills to offer that you may be in need of. Second, someone who has been in a wedding previously, may have their own preconceived notions about what being in a bridal party entails. This may be either more or less support than you are expecting, and you will want to be able to let them know right off the bat what being in your bridal party will be like.

If you are having a DIY wedding, having a lot of extra hands makes for less stress for you and often a lot of fun with the right bridal party. If you are planning to book an all inclusive venue, you won’t have as many projects and therefore won’t need as much support.

Typically the bridal party will plan your bachelor/bachelorette party and bridal shower. You should at least have a general idea of what you are wanting for these events. It is ideal to let your bridal party know upfront if you want to travel for your bachelor/bachelorette party so they can a) manage their own expectations b) plan accordingly and c) let you know upfront if they can afford the time and money this will require. While not being able to attend or financially contribute to this party shouldn’t count them out from your bridal party altogether, it will be easier on everyone involved if you know this upfront. The bridal shower, while typically a less expensive party, does still require some money from your bridal party and if you are wanting one, this is important to let them know upfront! Even if you don’t necessarily “require” one, they may still throw one for you, but the bridal party may feel less obligated to spend big on this party (that can either be a positive, negative, or neutral thing to you, depending on your expectation).

It is important to work through what you expect from your bridal party before asking them to be a part of your wedding so they can make an educated assessment of whether or not they would like to take on this role. Remember you are asking your friends to be in your wedding, not telling them. If someone says they can’t be a part of your wedding, don’t take it personally! This is easier said than done, but if someone can’t take on the expense and time, it will save you both heartache down the road if you give them to opportunity to make an informed decision from the get-go.

Did you know: According to a 2017 WeddingWire article the average cost of being a bridesmaid is $1,200. Keep this in mind when setting the expectation for your bridal party- and definitely keep this in mind if someone is hesitant to make the commitment to being in your bridal party!!

Asking your bridal party to be your bridal party

You can take many approaches to ask your bridal party to be in your wedding. It can be as simple as a phone call or as elaborate as you’d like! There is no shortage of ideas on Pinterest! If you like the idea of a gift, but aren’t up for creating something cutesy on your own, check out Etsy or Amazon! There are a lot of pre-made bridal party specific boxes, bags, etc. for both men and women that you can purchase to gift to your bridal party.

So when should you ask them? It is a good idea to give them as much notice as possible, for a few reasons. First, they want to be excited, too! Being a part of someone’s wedding is a huge honor and, frankly, a big validation of your level of friendship. Second, this will allow them time to financially prepare for the expense. Some people might need to save money for the events surrounding the wedding and their wedding attire. Enough notice will allow them ample time to prepare. Third, they have some planning of their own to do! As discussed later in this article, the bridal party plays a huge role in your bachelor/bachelorette party and bridal shower. The more time they have, the better they will be able to plan to the best of their ability.

How to select bridal party wardrobe

This can be a challenge for a lot of people, especially those with larger bridal parties. The more people you have in your wedding the more body types and financial situations you will need to take into account.

If you want all of your bridesmaids in the same dresses, take everyone’s body type into account. You want to pick a style and color that will be flattering on everyone. Besides the fact that these are your best friends and you want them to be comfortable and able to enjoy your wedding day, happy bridesmaids are smiling bridesmaids, and smiles look better in pictures.

There is a more recent trend of allowing your bridesmaids to pick their own dresses. Some people give no parameters and have the bridesmaids pick whatever they want. Some people give a color scheme and/or length requirements. Giving your bridal party some free reign will give everyone the opportunity to pick an outfit they feel confident wearing, in a price range that they feel comfortable with.

For shoes, keep in mind the type of venue you will be married at. If you are getting married in a chapel and having the reception at an indoor ballroom, no problem. Have the bridal party wear something they will be comfortable and look great in. If you are getting married at an outdoor venue with a lot of grass, dirt, or mulch avoid stilettos or anything they would have trouble walking in.

For suits, again, take budget and body type into consideration. If you have a lot of larger men, skip the slim fit suits. If you have a lot of people with tighter budgets, skip the $300 rental and go for the $150 purchase options!

Who should pay for what

This can be a tricky situation, but again, setting the expectation from the get-go will help alleviate any confusion or awkwardness around money down the road.

Wardrobe- Typically the bridal party will pay for their own dresses and suits. Some couples have it in their budget to cover everyone’s wardrobe, so they take care of this. That is awesome if you can, but if you can’t don’t sweat it. It is best to keep everyone’s financial situations in mind when selecting outfits, though. If the majority of your bridal party is working with tighter budgets, picking a dress and/or suit that is $300 is a quick way to create some resentment from your bridal party, especially when there are some amazing companies that offer beautiful, high quality dresses in the $50-$150 range and high quality suits in the $150-$250 range.

Bachelor/bachelorette parties- Typically the bridal party will pay for this. Even if you insist on paying for your part, it is best to plan as if the bridal party will refuse your money. Take this into consideration when giving them ideas of what you would like to do. Maybe they will take the money, maybe they won’t, either way, plan as if they won’t to avoid financially burdening anyone.

Bridal shower- This is a party for you, not by you. Typically either family, the bridal party, or both will put together this party. A bridal shower is when all, most, or some the womyn invited to your wedding come together and shower you with gifts. This can be as big or small as you like or the host(s) can afford. Since you are not personally throwing this party, the host(s) typically pay for this event.

Hair and makeup- General rule of thumb: if you require bridesmaids to have professional hair and makeup, you should pay for it. If you give them the option for professional hair and makeup, they can pay for it. If you are giving them the option, keep cost in mind when selecting a hair and makeup team. A bridesmaid who doesn’t excel at hair and/or makeup may refuse the service because it is too expensive.

What to delegate to the bridal party & managing your own expectations

You can delegate as much or as little as you’d like to the bridal party, but again, set this expectation when you ask them to be a part of your wedding. If you tell them you won’t need any support when you ask and then suddenly need 10+ hours of their time every week there is a good chance you will inspire a little resentment.

Read the feedback you get from your bridal party. If you have some one who is constantly asking how they can help, give them tasks! If you have someone who acts like you are asking a little too much of them, give them less to do! Try not to be offended if someone who said they would love to help suddenly isn’t able to or simply isn’t interested anymore. It can hurt a little when this happens, but you will end up stressing yourself and taking the fun away if you lean into those feelings too much. This is, of course, way easier said than done, but you will thank yourself later if you can accomplish this!

Play up people’s strengths. If you have a crafty bridesmaid, ask them to help with crafty things. If you have a thorough researcher in the group, have them do some research into a particular vendor or two. (Pro-tip: very clearly explain your vision and budget for these vendors so they don’t spend a lot of time and energy compiling options that aren’t what you’re looking for! Remember, you aren’t paying this person you definitely don’t want them to waste their time!). Have your musically inclined friend create your playlists. Playing up people’s strengths will give you better results overall and they are more likely to enjoy helping out!

Remember these are your best friends and they should be treated as such! These people love you and are happy to support you on your big day, but they are not hired help!

Tips on keeping Your bridal party happy

A happy bridal party is a helpful bridal party, so keeping them happy is key. Do this by making helping fun! Here are some ideas on how to accomplish this:

  • Ask for help, don’t demand it. If they have the time and energy to help, great! If not, try not to be offended. Ask if a different project would be more up their alley, or if a different time would be better.

  • Talk about things other than your wedding. If your whole relationship becomes just the wedding, they are going to get burnt out on it.

  • Turn a craft or planning date into a wine or movie night!

  • Positive reinforcement is always nice. Compliment their work, show appreciation, buy them dinner while they are helping, etc. They are offering valuable time and energy, for free. Remember, the things they are supporting you with are services you could pay someone else to do.

  • Ask for their input, and take it to heart. You may not ultimately go with their ideas, but listening to their thoughts will show you value their opinion. Providing the opportunity to express ideas and opinions throughout the planning process makes everyone feel more involved and therefore care more!

Bridal party gifts

Show your gratitude, not just for their support with the wedding, but for their continued love and support throughout your life! If you don’t have a ton of money to spend, that is okay! There is no set or standard amount to spend. So whether you have $0 or $1000 don’t forget to show your bridal party some love!

Bridesmaids gifts- In a world of Pinterest there is no shortage of inspiration for bridesmaids gifts! A common trend is the gift baskets or bags. Pre-made baskets or bags can be purchased from Etsy or Amazon, but you can always make your own, too! These baskets can include anything you think your gals will love, but some of the common favorites have been robes to wear while getting ready, jewelry to wear at your wedding (earrings, bracelets, and/or necklaces), ring pops (sooo inexpensive, cute sentiment, and fun), and personalized champagne flutes or water bottles. Spa themed boxes are also cute and simple to assemble! With a few multi packs of face masks and bath bombs from Marshall’s, an eye mask from Etsy, and a scented candle the gifts are complete! They can cost as low as $10 each and the ladies will be ecstatic!

Groomsmen gifts- We have all seen the personalized flasks and shot glasses, and while these are awesome, there are so many other great options out there! Ties are quite pricey, consider taking care of the cost for the guys by including their tie for your wedding in a gift box along with other items such as whiskey, engraved watches (definitely a more expensive option, but so cool!), personalized key chains, pint glasses (can be personalized, blank, or say “groomsman”), or special or personalized cufflinks.

The most important part of any gift is a heartfelt note. Express why you are grateful for these lovely people and how their presence has impacted your life! If you are on a tighter budget, personalized notes can serve as your entire token of appreciation! It is just nice to let people know they are valued and their love is reciprocated!

These gifts are typically given during the bachelor/bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinner, and/or on the wedding day.

Pro-tip #1: If you are creating a basket or bag, collect items over time to avoid a big chunk of expense at once. Collecting over time also allows you to select items that are meaningful instead of just sifting through the internet and purchasing random items over the span of a day or two.

Pro-tip #2: No matter when your wedding is, be sure to check out Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals for bridal party gifts!

Some useful links to gifts I love (Last updated 4/7/20):

Inexpensive/good quality robe link (allow up to 60 days for delivery): https://www.aliexpress.com/item/32663276771.html?spm=a2g0o.productlist.0.0.a7e4545aPgmntu&algo_pvid=66e4c635-5b8a-4328-8a25-1f7a3dbf8f5c&algo_expid=66e4c635-5b8a-4328-8a25-1f7a3dbf8f5c-0&btsid=21cf40e7-f794-478d-8e42-f7804bfb7ff8&ws_ab_test=searchweb0_0,searchweb201602_7,searchweb201603_52

Personalized Champagne Flutes (inexpensive, but plastic):

https://www.etsy.com/listing/618495701/set-of-7-personalized-flutes-name-and?ref=yr_purchases

Personalized Eyemask:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/593636412/eye-masks-funny-hangover-gift-custom?ref=yr_purchases 

Ties:

https://www.daziusa.com/

https://www.bows-n-ties.com/

Personalized cuff links:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/697865633/customized-cufflinks-personalized?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=cufflinks+personalized&ref=sr_gallery-1-3&pro=1&col=1

https://www.etsy.com/listing/257203258/personalized-round-gunmetal-cufflinks?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=cufflinks+personalized&ref=sc_gallery-1-3&plkey=db63e26614ab6c6accb06ebbd35ecaa6633b9e8b%3A257203258&pro=1

USEFUL LINKS:

https://www.bachtobasic.com Want to throw an incredible bachelorette party, but don’t have the time to plan? Let Bach to Basic do the planning for you!

https://misc-goods-co.com?ref=lX2K3 Use Promo Code WPLA_25 to save 25% on great gifts for your bridal party

https://flipsidez.com Use promo code WPLAW10 to save 10% on unique Bachelor/ette Party accessories and gifts!

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