Wedding Planning Mistakes: 5 Hidden Pitfalls (and How to Stay Stress-Free)

You have gotten engaged, decided on an overall aesthetic for your wedding, booked a venue, and have specific elements for design in mind. Now the time has come to transition your Pinterest boards from dream to reality! While planning the logistics necessary to bring your vision to life is fun and exciting, the process has a reputation for turning stressful. There are some common pitfalls that people run into that can be key contributors to sucking the fun right out of something you've looked forward to. Below are 5 of the most frequent mistakes people make while planning a wedding and (more importantly) how to avoid them!

*Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no cost to you.*

Mistake 1: Forgetting to Budget Before Spending

The internet is a wonderful tool full of wedding inspiration - but all of the picturesque weddings popping up on social media don’t include price tags. Be sure to sit down with your partner and determine your budget before you book or buy anything! A budget is as much a price limit on your entire wedding as it is a guide for how much you’d like to spend on each vendor, decor element, or clothing item. Making a budget will also help you figure out what elements are most important to you - do you want lots of fragrant florals, or is having a top shelf selection at the bar more important? - and then allocate those funds accordingly so that you can manage your expectations and shop within a price range that you are comfortable with!

Pro-tip: If you are working on a limited budget, spend BIG on a few focal point items instead of spreading your budget too thin. Once the I-do's are said and the cake is cleared, the wedding photos are how you will predominantly look back on your big day! Choose a photographer that will produce quality images you will be happy to reminisce on your day over and ensure the elements in those photos are ones you are filled with joy to see. For example, the altar arrangements and your bouquet will be in more pictures than centerpieces or a welcome table, so prioritize those items when budgeting!

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Pro-tip: DIYing your florals is extremely time-intensive and live floral arrangements can only be assembled 12-24 hours before the wedding day and need to be kept in a cool, somewhat humid environment (exact temperatures for ideal storage vary depending on flower type, though most would be ideally stored between 34-38 degrees F, with a humidity level of 75-85%). If this is a DIY project you are considering, be sure you have enough help and time to complete the arrangements without taking away from any of the other things you will need to do in those precious last hours leading up to your wedding!

Mistake 3: Constantly adding people to your guest list

Weddings are a time to not only commit your life in partnership and love, it is also a time to celebrate the support and community you are surrounded by! For many couples, drawing the line on the maximum number of invitees can be a challenge. It is helpful to create at least a rough draft of your guest list prior to booking a venue in order to ensure you are securing a space that can accomodate the number of guests you would like to host. 

Organizing a list of everyone can be a very stressful feeling, but it does not have to be! Start by breaking up your guest list into small lists (An Excel sheet is great for this) - one tab for your family, one for your partner’s family, another for your friends, their friends, shared friends, work friends, etc. Prioritize each list into must invite, like to invite, and invite if the budget allows. Then as RSVPs come in, you can extend invites to additional people as needed.

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Mistake 2: Trying to DIY Too Much

Wedding planning while newly-engaged can really bring out the artist in all of us. The idea of hand-painting signs and knitting favors for all 150 of your guests may sound like fun projects to incorporate bespoke touches to your big day- and they are!- but the reality may be a little different. While personalized, DIYed elements add a personal touch to your wedding and often save money, overextending your creativity and time can lead to wedding planning burnout! Instead of overloading yourself with too many projects, stick to only manageable projects that best use your creative talents, and leave the rest to Amazon Handmade and Etsy.

Pro-tip: Keep in mind that every guest costs more than just the price of a meal and a bar tab! Calculate the cost of every seat (table & chair rental, cost of centerpieces & table numbers, plates, drinkware, silverware, napkins, additional service staff to adequately serve & clean, etc.). Communicate with your partner about the importance of sticking to your invite list! For some people this is no problem, but if you and/or your partner are the kind that has never met a stranger and is at risk of inviting your Uber driver to the wedding, be sure you both are on the same page about the wedding guest list! 

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Mistake 4: Forgetting to delegate 

Aside from actually getting married and celebrating the night away, you will have A LOT to do on your wedding day. Between gettting ready, taking photos, visiting with guests, eating (don't forget to actually eat!), you personally won't have time to do any of the set-up, breakdown, or logistical behind the scenes stuff that goes on in order to make your wedding day come together! To this end, seek out the support of professionals to ensure all of your hard work comes together in way you will be happy with. If professionals are not available for any certain task or are not within the budget, turn to trusted friends and/or family to assist with elements like picking up the cake, communicating with vendors on the day of, and confirming transportation. Delegate tasks, loosen the reins a bit, and enjoy the process!

Pro-tip: Even if you have a planner, coordinator, and/or decorator it is extremely helpful to delegate certain getting ready tasks to your wedding party or family members. A few examples include making sure your lunch makes it to you (and in you!) while getting ready, if you want to listen to music someone will need to make a playlist and bring a speaker, and someone will need to be in communication with your transportation team and/or wedding coordinator.

Mistake 5: Over-scheduling and Under-timing

Creating an unrealistic timeline that leaves no room for unexpected delays or breathing room is a sure fire way to add stress to any wedding. Build in buffer time between activities like traveling from the ceremony location to the reception (especially if they are at two separate locations across town!). Factor in time for travel, photos, and getting ready. Discuss a backup plan with your vendors in case unforeseen circumstances arise.

Pro-tip: Schedule the ceremony start time 30 minutes after guests are expected to arrive. Guests can mingle, sign the guest book, drop off cards and gifts, and find their seats during the in-between time, but allowing this 30 minutes will ensure your ceremony is not delayed due to guests' late arrival.

Bonus mistake! Forgetting to color coordinate your wedding attire with accessories!

There are endless shades of white and ivories and blacks and grays and really every color on the color wheel! Be sure to look at all of your wedding attire items next to each other, in person ahead of time to ensure they work well together. This goes for all wedding party attire, too! Check in with each wedding party member a few weeks in advance to ensure they have sourced any items they are to provide themselves (i.e. If the groomsmen all need to wear matte black dress shoes, make sure they know and are on top of it!)

Pro-tip: Champagne and gold go well with white and ivory! You can mix these shades in with your white or ivory for a regal accent.

All Things Wedding Venue

After you say “YES!” to your fiance, saying “YES!” to your wedding venue is the next big wedding-related commitment you will make (unless you intend to hire a wedding planner- and sometimes even then) . Locking in a venue will solidify your wedding date & location, provide you with insight into what other vendors you will need, and allow you to manage how the rest of your wedding budget is allocated. These key factors will guide you throughout the rest of your wedding planning. Feel confident with the venue you choose by following this guide!

This article is divided into 3 sections:

1. What you need to know and consider before beginning your venue search

2. Questions to ask a wedding venue prior to booking

3. Maximizing the value of your venue

What you need to know and consider before beginning your venue search

1. Plan your overall budget before signing a venue contract. Budget should come first and foremost when considering your venue. No matter what your budget is; it matters! As the single largest expense for most weddings, if you go over budget on the venue, the rest of the budget is going to suffer. If you are considering hosting a backyard wedding prepare a very realistic budget outline to weigh the actual cost! Sometimes backyard weddings can save money, sometimes they will end up costing more. It completely depends on your unique situation.

2. Consider your guest count. Guest count is going to have a massive impact on how much you spend on each aspect of your wedding. It will also limit your options for venues.  Many venues have maximum guest counts, while some venues have minimums! Some venues that can accommodate larger weddings will charge for people over a certain number (for example, a venue that has the potential to hold 500 guests may start charging $15/person after the first 100 guests). If you are considering hosting at a private property, a smaller guest count can make a backyard wedding more affordable while a larger guest count can push a backyard wedding well past what an actual venue would cost. 

3. Types of venues and what they include. Prior to beginning your venue search be sure to consider the varying levels of inclusivity offered. The type of venue you choose will have a big effect on how the rest of your budget will need to be allocated and how much effort the rest of planning will require. While venues range drastically on what they include or don’t include, there are five general “blanket categories” that they will typically fall into.

   1. All inclusive venues- Some venues are truly one stop shops. This means they will provide almost everything you need for your wedding! True all inclusive venues aren’t common and are usually only found at popular tourist and destination wedding locations.These venues always include a ceremony area, chairs for the ceremony, altar, appetizers, full meal, cake, service staff, tables, table linens, dinner chairs, plates, napkins, silverware, drinking glasses, basic decor, lighting, dance floor, day of coordination, timeline preparation and a photographer. They will often also include design consultations, an open or semi-open bar, florals, DJ, sound equipment, bridal suite, hotel suite for the newly weds, an officiant for your ceremony, and/or a videographer. They will usually also offer package deals on hotel rooms for guests and occasionally may include a few guest rooms in the overall package price. These venues will usually offer optional upgrades to any of the services they provide for additional fees. This all sounds expensive, but often they are actually less expensive than piecemealing a wedding together from afar (especially considering the typically high cost of weddings at popular destination wedding locations). A major drawback to a venue like this is the lack of customization available. These venues work well for destination weddings since it is harder to plan a wedding from afar. 

   2. Mostly inclusive venues- Mostly inclusive venues are fairly common. These venues are typically hotels, ballrooms, event halls, etc. These venues almost always include appetizers, full meal, cake, service staff, tables, table linens, dinner chairs, plates, napkins, silverware, drinking glasses, lighting, dance floor, basic clean up, and a venue coordinator (different than a day of coordinator! More on this under item #13). Essentially everything you need to host a nice party will be included. Fairly often they will also include a ceremony area, chairs for the ceremony, altar, bar, and/or basic decor. You will still need to find vendors like your coordinator, photographer, videographer, florist, DJ, hair and makeup teams, officiant, etc. Again, it sounds like all of this would be expensive, but often it ends up being less money than independently hiring each vendor since so much is bundled into one package! These types of venues still lack the full freedom for customization and often come with outside vendor restrictions (meaning, you will likely have to select vendors from their pre approved vendor list). 

   3. Somewhat inclusive venues- Somewhat inclusive venues typically provide power, bathrooms, tables, chairs, onsite security, and parking. Often they will also include a dance floor, lighting, physical bar space, additional tables for special displays (i.e. dessert, gifts, welcome table, etc.), ceremony area, ceremony seating, altar, bathroom amenities (toilet tissue, soap, paper towels, etc), running water for vendors, trash removal, and/or a venue coordinator (different from a day of coordinator!). These venues are usually fairly open to allowing outside vendors and typically come at a lower starting rate. These venues allow for a lot of customization! If you are considering a venue that matches this description be sure to take a very close look at your overall budget before signing a contract. Though the site fee may seem low, the overall cost of the wedding may end up being higher once you select all of your other vendors. 

   4. Almost blank slate venues- Some venues label themselves as “blank slates,” but they aren’t truly blank slates. They will include the absolute basics like power, restrooms, and parking. They will occasionally include things like covered or indoor areas, lighting, water access for vendors, parking attendants, security, trash cans, trash bags, bathroom amenities (i.e. toilet tissue, soap, paper towels, etc.), and/or trash removal. They rarely have strict rules and/or vendor restrictions. These venues offer a lot of room to customize your wedding, and the site fees are often much lower than a more inclusive venue, but again, be sure to consider all of the other expenses your wedding will incur prior to signing a contract.  

   5. Truly blank slate venues- Blank slate venues are essentially empty areas that you transform into an event space. You will need generators for power, bathrooms, lighting... EVERYTHING. Since these spaces require everything to be brought in, they rarely have strict rules and/or vendor restrictions. This offers a ton of room for customization! It also allows for a lot of room for error (think Fyre Fest). Prior to booking, be sure to think through every single aspect of what is needed to host your wedding and make sure you are up for the challenge! The key to hosting a successful wedding at a blank slate venue will be a can-do attitude and an amazing team of vendors! The site fees are usually lower compared to more inclusive venues with a similar aesthetic in the area, however, cost effectiveness is about 50/50 on these venues. Depending on your design vision and the site fee, creating your desired wedding aesthetic piecemealing your wedding together may end up costing more or less than hosting at a more inclusive type of venue. 

4. What time of year are you hoping to host your wedding? The time of year you choose to host your wedding will greatly affect a few aspects of your wedding venue. 

   1. Pricing- Most venues have “off season” and “peak season” pricing. Since winter weddings are less common, venues offer lower pricing to fill their winter dates. 

   2. Weather- The weather changes with the season and should be taken into consideration when choosing a venue. If you are getting married at a particularly rainy, cold, hot, or windy time of year, outdoor venues or venues without AC can create some challenges. Accommodating for the weather may impose some additional costs (i.e. tent, heaters, umbrellas, or fans rentals).

   3. Landscape- As the weather changes so does the natural landscape. This is particularly important for outdoor venues, but is still relevant for indoor venues with larger windows. The leaves change color, certain flowers may or may not be in bloom, the grass may be green or beige, etc. The natural color schemes present on your wedding date will affect your overall aesthetic.

      Pro-tip #1: Visit your venue around the time of year you will be married to fully understand the naturally occurring elements. If physically visiting is not possible, find pictures from previous weddings held at your venue from around the same time in previous years.

5. Indoor, outdoor, or combo venue?

   1. Indoor venues- 

      1. Pros- Controlling the climate is usually a non-issue! Weather can’t easily rain on your parade if you are indoors! In addition, power, restrooms, and water are almost always available at indoor venues. You also are less likely to have your music volume closely monitored since the music won’t be as audible to neighbors (some sound ordinances may still need to be adhered to).

      2. Cons- Most of the negatives of an indoor venue are purely aesthetic. There is always less natural light than at an outdoor venue. You will also have to work around existing decor (i.e. wall color, flooring, art pieces, lighting, etc.). Indoor venues are also more likely to have strict policies on how and where decor can be displayed (more on this under item 11).

   2. Outdoor venues-

      1. Pros- Outdoor venues are beautiful! There is always a lot of natural light and the existing foliage will add to the overall aesthetic. The smell of your dinner won’t linger in the air throughout dinner, and you will have the opportunity to dance under the stars!

      2. Cons- You will need to consider the weather to ensure guest comfort. Wildlife may also be an issue (i.e. BUGS). Sound ordinances are usually a bigger issue at outdoor venues (though many remote outdoor venues won’t have this problem).

   3. Combination Indoor/Outdoor venues- The indoor and outdoor spaces of a venue that offers both can be utilized in a variety of ways. The most common use of space is to host the ceremony and cocktail hour outdoors and dinner and dancing take place indoors. It is fairly common for dinner to also take place outdoors, it just depends on the available space and venue restrictions. Some venues will have strict, designated areas for each portion of the wedding to take place, while others will allow you to use each space as you see fit.

      1. Pros- You get the best of both worlds! At least a portion of your wedding will occur in the gorgeous natural light surrounded by the beautiful landscape. If there is inclimate weather, you have a built in backup plan at little to no additional cost! Since dancing usually occurs indoors you are less likely to have noise volume strictly monitored. 

      2. Cons- You may love one of the spaces, but not be totally in love with the other. Maybe just the indoor or outdoor area is really speaking to you, but the other space is a compromise. You are also likely to run into some decor placement and display restrictions for the indoor portion of the event. You will also have to work around existing decor and design elements in the space.

6. Separate ceremony and reception locations / things to consider when selecting a place of worship. Some religions or specific religious leaders require wedding ceremonies to take place within a place of worship. Some couples simply prefer to be married in a place of worship. Since chapels, synagogues, temples, etc. don’t usually allow receptions to be held onsite, you will need to find another space to host the celebration following your ceremony. Many reception venues do offer ceremony locations which are perfect for couples looking for minimal or no religion in their ceremony or for couples who have a religious leader willing to perform a marriage ceremony outside of a place of worship. If you choose to split the ceremony and reception between two venues there are a few things you can do to make the transition smoother. 

   1. Consider proximity- Choose venues relatively close together (more on this under item #8 section d). 

   2. Plan for guest transport- It is nice to provide transportation for guests between the two locations. This is not necessary, but if it fits into your budget it is a huge convenience for guests, ensures all guests make it to the reception location in a timely manner, and guarantees guests won’t be drinking and driving later in the night.

   3. Ask about parking- If the venues are walking distance from one another or if you provide transportation between the venues but not to the ceremony location, ask the venue if guests are able to leave their cars at the ceremony location for the duration of your reception. Be sure to ask about overnight parking as well! If guests drink at the reception or simply don’t want to return to the ceremony location that evening they may choose to leave their vehicle overnight. Confirm the rules on this and communicate the expectation (and potential repercussions) with guests so they can prepare accordingly.

   4. Decor- Ask about decor restrictions at your ceremony location. Many places of worship have restrictions on what decor can and cannot be placed. Also consider: what decor you will need at each space, who will set up the decor at each space, if decor can be transferred between spaces, and who will transfer the decor if necessary. 

   5. Ask about vendor restrictions- Many places of worship have restrictions on what vendors can be onsite and/or policies on how vendors should conduct themselves. For example, many places of worship will limit photographer access and only allow them to take pictures from the back of the chapel, synagogue, temple, etc. Some won’t allow photographers or videographers at all! While this isn’t particularly common, it is worth discussing prior to signing a contract!

7. Consider the overall aesthetic you are going for. All venues will have some kind of existing aesthetic that may or may not work with your design vision. An event space such as a ballroom, conference room, etc., has carpeting, wall colors, table and chair choices, and existing artwork to take into consideration. Outdoor venues will have trees that produce different colors in different seasons. When you tour venues, make sure you are looking at every existing design element (both natural and manmade), and consider how it will work with your desired aesthetic. Click here for more on building a wedding design and how this is relevant to your venue.

8. Location, location, location. The physical location of the venue is so important, but how it is important will vary depending on each couple’s unique situation. 

   1. Traveling guests- If a large portion of your guest list (over 25%) will be traveling by plane to attend your wedding, consider proximity to an airport. You don’t necessarily need to be next door, but within an hour of an airport is ideal. If a large portion are traveling by either plane or car, you will need to consider where the nearest hotel is.

   2. Hotel proximity- Speaking of hotels and traveling guests, you will need to find a hotel that is relatively close to the reception venue. Finding a hotel that is close and affordable for guests is convenient and ensures that your block is filled so you aren’t left with a hefty bill for unfilled rooms. This will also decrease travel time and transportation costs to and from the venue.

   3. Travel fees- For particularly remote locations, many vendors will charge a travel fee. This should be considered into your overall budget if you have fallen in love with a venue that is a ways off the beaten path. 

   4. Separate ceremony and reception venues- If you are hosting your ceremony and reception at separate venues you will need to find two spaces that are relatively close together. This makes commuting more convenient for guests, but will also maximize your time with vendors that need to be at both locations like your photographer, videographer, coordinator, etc. 

   5. Location aesthetic- If you have a specific look or feel you are going for (i.e. beach, woodsy, mountains, rustic, modern/industrial, etc.) make sure you find a venue that will work for your feel. While it is not 100% necessary to have a beach venue for a beach themed wedding, finding a location that inherently encompasses your theme will help make your design more cohesive.

9. Think about your absolute “must haves.” Your venue “must haves” can be anything! For some people, being within budget may be the biggest “must have,” for others it may be location, date availability, aesthetic, or any other number of things. Before beginning your venue search, write out a list of the most important venue elements to you and your fiance. Order the deciding factors based on priority level. This will help guide your venue search! You may not find a space that checks off all of the boxes, but try to find a venue that includes at least the majority of your most sought after features. 

10. Look for the “wow” factor. At all price points you can find venues with a “wow” factor. This may be a stunning view, interesting history, perfect location, incredible price, or any other number of things. The “wow” factor is what makes your venue stand out above the rest.

11. Rules and restrictions may apply. Read the fine print before booking a venue and have a very clear understanding of what you are signing up for. There are a few common restrictions that many couples find are deal breakers.

    1. Vendor restrictions- Many venues will have strict vendor policies. The strictest vendor policies only allow you to book from the venue’s pre-approved vendor list. This often means booking vendors who don’t exactly work with your vision and/or are not in your desired price range. If you are considering a venue with this policy be sure to personally vet each vendor they require prior to signing a contract with the venue. Some venues will allow you to bring in outside vendors as long as they are licensed, insured, and/or sign a document saying they agree to the venue’s “house rules.” This approach is actually in your best interest! Hiring professionals to work your wedding is very important (as opposed to finding “hobbyists” or random people agreeing to provide a service they don’t typically do) and having the vendors sign an agreement with the venue takes some of the liability for accidents on the vendors’ part off of you.

    2. Fire restrictions- Many venues, especially in drier areas, have limits on fires. Some absolutely prohibit any kind of flame. Some may only allow contained flames. If your design vision includes a lot of candles or you’ve always dreamed of a sparkler exit, this restriction won’t work for you. Note that fire restrictions will often completely prohibit smoking. If you have a large number of guests who smoke and a venue with strict policies make sure to communicate this to your guests so they can make appropriate accommodations for themselves and you aren’t stuck with a hefty fine at the end of the night!

    3. End time- It is fairly common, especially for outdoor venues in areas with sound ordinances, to have strict end times when the party must stop. If you were picturing your friends and family dancing into the wee hours of the morning, a venue with a 10:30pm end time is not going to work for.

    4. Sound restrictions- Apart from (though sometimes in conjunction with) sound ordinances, some venues will require your noise level stay below a certain decibel. This makes sense for a lot of venues. Annoying the neighbors with loud music is a quick way to lose an event license! There are two main approaches to ensuring this happens. 

       1. They require your DJ use their house speaker system- More often than not, the house systems are fine! They provide ample sound and the DJ may even offer a discount since they won’t need to provide their own sound equipment. However, occasionally the house systems are less than stellar. Sometimes they are so quiet that guests won’t want to dance and/or the microphone can’t be heard. Another typical problem with house systems is equipment failure. Your DJ may be able to quickly troubleshoot if something goes wrong with their own equipment (things happen, technology isn’t perfect), but they may not be particularly familiar with the ins and outs of the house system. Often the wires for house systems are run through walls, so troubleshooting isn’t even possible for the duration of your event. Some ways to ensure neither of these situations occur or will be an issue: 1) during your venue tour listen to the house system at the maximum allowed volume. Consider how that volume will translate to a full room. Remember, the volume will sound much louder when the room is empty! 2) Ask about the backup plan should anything go array with the sound. Will your DJ be allowed to set up their own equipment if something goes wrong? Is someone onsite to help troubleshoot? If the venue does provide a designated person to troubleshoot, are they a sound engineer with experience, or is it a site manager who is just doing their best? 3) Thoroughly read reviews of the venue for specific mentions of the sound quality. If any sound issue has commonly occurred in the past, it will surely be mentioned in reviews!

       2. They monitor the sound the DJ or musician is producing- This typically won’t affect the microphone at all, but occasionally it will have an impact on the dancing portion of the evening. Again, read reviews and look for common mention of sound restrictions proving to be an issue.

    5. Alcohol limitations- Beyond the basics, such as only serving alcohol to those of the legal age limit and not over serving guests, some venues have strict rules on alcohol or may not allow any alcohol. While almost all venues require licensed bartenders (if they don’t require this, you should absolutely only hire a licensed bartender anyway), some will take their rules a step further by restricting the alcohol to beer and wine only or none at all. This is a less common rule, but it is a quick decision making limitation for couples that want to provide alcohol for their guests. 

    6. Trash removal- Trash removal is such an underrated service. If you find yourself at a venue that does not include trash removal and you haven’t planned an alternative for trash removal, you will come to appreciate just how important this piece is at the end of your wedding. Some venues will include this in their services, others will not. While this may not be a reason to count out a venue, it is certainly a huge plus when you find it listed in a venue’s package! If you book with a venue that does not include trash removal be sure to thoroughly plan for this!

    7. Decor restrictions- Most venues don’t want you to place any decor in such a way that could potentially damage or permanently alter their existing space. It makes sense! The venue will host many events after yours, and everyone deserves to have the same quality of space so they can’t risk you changing permanently. There are plenty of ways to still incorporate all of your design elements, though it may be a little trickier and more expensive than simply nailing something to the wall. This may not work for your vision! If you want gorgeous, lush hanging floral arrangements, a venue that won’t allow this isn’t going to be a good fit. Note: There are plenty of ways to still have all of the hanging pieces you want! Installing them just may come at a higher price!

    8. Rental restrictions- Some venues (typically higher end venues) often have lovely furniture that was carefully selected to work with the rest of the design elements in their space. Occasionally a venue that has invested in quality furnishings will be reluctant (or outright refuse) to move their property to storage. It is not particularly common for couples to replace the existing furniture at these types of venues anyway, but, of course, there are exceptions! If you find a beautiful venue, and want to go a different route with the furniture make sure they allow outside rentals to replace their furniture prior to signing a contract with them. 

    9. Photography restrictions- This is not a common restriction for venues to have, but when they do it is a quick way to send couples running! Usually venues that have photography restrictions will still allow photography, you will just need a permit beforehand. If that is the case, photography restrictions shouldn’t necessarily be a deal breaker. If no photos are allowed, be sure you are comfortable with this and communicate the restriction with guests so you aren’t stuck with a fine at the end of the night!

12. Know the difference between a venue coordinator and a day of coordinator. There is often a lot of confusion around the role of a venue coordinator and it is often assumed they will act as a day-of coordinator. This misunderstanding can result in the cost of a day of coordinator being overlooked initially, and then being added down the road. This is a huge expense to leave out of the overall budget! Make sure you understand the difference and know exactly what your venue’s package includes.

    1. Venue coordinator- A venue coordinator’s job is to manage all of the venue related services. This usually includes ensuring the tables and chairs are arranged how you previously discussed, handling bathroom restocking, taking care of maintenance issues, making sure the venue’s policies and protocols are adhered to, etc. Just as your photographer will take care of all things photography, but only photography, your venue coordinator is the representative and team captain for the venue, and only the venue.

    2. Day-of coordinator- The day of coordinator does all of the things you would typically take care of as the host of a party. They are the team captain of all of the wedding vendors, including the venue coordinator. In a nutshell, they usually take care of making the space pretty and ensuring the day runs smoothly. They communicate with all of the vendors beforehand to make sure everyone is on the same page, ensure vendors arrive on time, start at their contracted time, perform all of the tasks they agreed to, and are cued before special events. They will troubleshoot if something goes awry with the vendors or the timeline. This is your right-hand for the day, taking care of all of the behind the scenes aspects to your wedding so you can focus on getting married and celebrating! Click here to learn more about the wedding coordinator’s role in your big day!

13. Day of the week and pricing. Many venues have special pricing for weekdays, Fridays, and Sundays. Since these days are less common for weddings to occur, venues will often offer their space at a lower rate to fill the dates! 

Questions to ask a venue prior to booking

The basics-

1. Are you available on my desired date? If not, what days within a few weeks of my desired date do you have open?

2. Do you require a deposit? How much?

3. When is the balance due?

4. What is your preferred method of payment?

5. What is your cancellation policy if I cancel?

6. What is your cancellation policy if you cancel?

7. What is your rescheduling policy if I need to change my date?

8. What is the backup plan if you are unable to fulfill your contract due to a last minute conflict?

9. Are there any additional fees, such as taxes, staffing fees, etc., that are not included in the package price?

10. Are you licensed?

11. Are you insured? Does the insurance cover all of your staff and property?

Pricing details & Venue Requirements-

1. What is the site fee?

2. Is there special pricing for off season dates or days that are not Saturday?

3. Do you offer discounts if I pay in full upfront?

4. Do you offer discounts if I pay cash? 

5. Do you charge a service fee if I pay with a credit card?

6. How many total hours will we have access to the space?

7. How many guests can your venue accommodate?

8. Are there additional fees if I have over a certain number of guests?

9. Will you provide me with a preferred vendors list?

10. Do you require that I use only your pre approved vendors?

11. Do you have restrictions on outside vendors?

12. Are there any additional fees for using outside vendors?

13. Do my vendors need insurance?

14. Am I required to have any specific type of vendor (i.e. security, valet, parking attendant, a wedding planner, or day of coordinator)?

15. Do I need event insurance?

16. Do you have any restrictions on open flames (i.e. candles, sparklers, cigarettes, etc.)?

17. Do you have any sound restrictions?

18. Are there any restrictions regarding alcohol? (i.e. Are we allowed to have alcohol? Do I need a licensed bartender? Can I provide my own alcohol? Is there a specific required time for last call?)

19. Are there any restrictions to what decor I can use or how decor is displayed?

20. Are there any additional services you offer that I can add to my package?

LOGISTICS-

1. How many hours prior to my wedding start time will vendors and the bridal party have access to the space?

2. Is there a limit to how many hours my event can last?

3. What is the absolute latest my wedding can go until?

4. Is there an additional fee past a certain time of night?

5. Do you have restrooms onsite?

6. Do you provide bathroom essentials (i.e. toilet tissue, running water, paper towels, etc.)?

7. Do you have ADA compliant restrooms and access throughout the venue?

8. Do you provide power, water, a kitchen, covered areas, lighting, and/or other accommodations my vendors may need?

9. Is there adequate existing lighting or will I need to bring in my own?

10. Do you provide tables, chairs, ceremony seating, physical bar space, heaters, tents, umbrellas, etc.?

11. Do you offer spaces for the bridal party to get ready? Can I see them? (Hint: Check for showers, sinks with running water, outlets, mirrors, lighting, AC, and overall space provided.)

12. Do you provide any staff for my wedding?

13. Does the venue staff take care of maintaining and stocking the restrooms? 

14. Does the venue staff take care of trash removal?

15. Do you provide security?

16. Do you provide parking attendants and/or valet?

17. Will I have access to the space for my ceremony rehearsal and, if so, for how many hours?

18. When will I be able to reserve my rehearsal date?

19. Where will my guests park?

20. In the past, how easily are guests able to call taxis or rideshares?

21. If the venue is in a remote location with limited cell phone service, do you provide Wifi?

22. Are you anticipating making any changes to the space between now and my wedding date?

Maximizing the value of your venue

1. Ask the venue manager about common oversights or mishaps that occur at their venue. The venue manager or event manager is at this location every single weekend. They know their venue and packages backwards and forwards. They also bare witness to any planning flaws that come to light during the course of an event. Ask about the most common oversights! Usually reoccurring oversights will be something logistical, like trash removal or having adequate lighting. All of these oversights are easily avoided by talking through them prior to your wedding!

2. Communicate often (as necessary) with the venue manager. The venue manager is your ally in wedding planning. Though they aren’t a wedding planner, they can still offer valuable insight into how ideas similar to yours previously worked in their space. They may have suggestions of how to most effectively utilize their space, how many service staff members to hire, where to place decor, what floral pieces work best where, etc. Let them know of any changes in your design or overall wedding planning so they are able to pivot as necessary. This will also allow the venue manager the opportunity to help you only plan things that the venue allows and avoid any fines. Before purchasing 200 sparklers, confirm with your venue manager that this is okay!  

3. Take your wedding planner or coordinator to the venue beforehand. Although pictures will help immensely, there is nothing like seeing a space in person to fully grasp your wedding vision. By attending a venue walkthrough with your planner or coordinator, you will be able to show them exactly where and how you want everything set up. They will also be able to offer their professional opinion on the functionality of your vision, floor plan, design plan. They will also be able to suggest additional design elements where necessary and troubleshoot any issues they find in the space prior to your wedding day!

4. Use the existing amenities. If possible, utilize the furniture, accent pieces, etc. provided by the venue instead of replacing it with outside rentals. This will save you money and time! The furnishings provided by the venue usually work well with the overall aesthetic of the space, anyway, so it is a win-win!

5. Work with the aesthetic, not against it. Play up the existing aesthetic of the space. If the carpet is blue, use it as one of your wedding accent colors. If the overall feel of the space is vintage, incorporate this into your wedding design. This will have a dramatically positive impact on the way everything comes together and ultimately save you a lot of headache over trying to work around the existing design. Having a general idea of your desired overall aesthetic prior to booking your venue is a huge advantage! 

6. Take their preferred vendor list to heart, but do your own research. Venues usually provide clients with a preferred vendors list. This list includes their favorite vendors who they have seen work successfully in their space. Not only are these vendors familiar with the floor plan, venue policies, and venue staff, they are almost always licensed professionals with years of experience. Do your own research into the vendors listed, though! Some of the vendors may not be the right fit for your vision or personality. The venue may have also had ulterior motives for adding these vendors to the list. Oftentimes vendors will offer each other monetary compensation for referrals and, unfortunately, on rare occasions those kickbacks can supersede vendor quality.

7. Take a lot of pictures during your walk through. A picture is worth a thousand words, but in the case of wedding planning they may be worth two thousand! As you hire vendors sending them pictures of the blank space will be useful for understanding the space you are describing. Your florist will be able to see exactly how much space they need to fill. Your planner will be able to envision the design elements needed to customize the space for you. The DJ and caterer will be able to gauge where and how to best set up. Your photographer will get an idea of lighting and where to take pictures. You will also benefit from these pictures as you work to complete your design. Often little details will be overlooked as you try to recall the space from memory. Pictures will help figuratively fill in the gaps throughout planning, so you can literally fill them with your wedding design!

Planning an outdoor wedding in LA and need restrooms? Check out VIP Luxury Restrooms!

All Things Wedding Videography

Weddings have a way of passing by in a blur. The pictures and video are the only concrete things you will have left to remember all of the special little moments that flew by. Video has the ability to capture the emotion and actual audio from your wedding, which is a huge asset when you want to relive your day. A professional wedding video is an investment in your memories! When it comes to booking a videographer there is a lot to consider in order to feel confident in your selection. Follow this guide to have a positive experience from start to finish with your wedding videographer!

This article is divided into 3 sections:

1. Things to consider about wedding videographers

2. Questions to ask a videographer prior to booking

3. What to do after booking to maximize the videographers services

Things to consider about wedding videos & videographers

1. There are five main styles of wedding videography- There are 5 major styles of wedding videography, but they rarely exist on their own. They are often blended together at the discretion of the videographer. 

   1. Cinematic: A cinematic wedding video has a very Hollywood romance film feel. The videographer utilizes similar angles, transitions, colors, filters, and editing techniques used in the movies. These videos usually feature romantic or meaningful music that fades in and out as voice overs from the wedding vows and speeches are mixed in. This editing style doesn’t necessarily display events in chronological order, but instead tells your story from a more artistic point of view. This style focuses on playing up the significance and romance of the day!

   2. Short form: Short form is a quick highlight reel summarizing your day. The video will follow you from getting ready, to the ceremony, all the way through to dancing (usually; depending on how many hours are included in your package either the beginning or the end may be missed). Short form films are typically 3-5 minutes in length and can be done in cinematic, storytelling, or documentary style.

   3. Storytelling: Storytelling is very similar to cinematic, it's just a little less dramatic. Videographers who identify with this style tend to include all of those great angles, transitions, and creative techniques used in cinematic style. A true storytelling film will leave out the dramatic slow motion kisses and the video is usually in chronological order of events. The goal with this style is to capture your true essence as a couple vs. painting a picture of you as the lead in a blockbuster love story. Much like cinematic style, the videographer will often utilize voice overs or text at certain points to better define the moment. Storytelling is so similar to cinematic that the two are often used together. When blended, cinematic tends to be the choice for the ceremony and other key moments, while the rest of the day is done in a storytelling format.

   4. Documentary: Documentary style is the most unique compared to the other styles and by far the easiest to identify when you come across it. This style of wedding videography can often come off as “unpolished” compared to the other styles, but for the couples who are into it, it's perfect. Documentary style is less focused on making your day seem like a fairytale and more focused on making it feel genuine (not to say that the other styles aren’t genuine!). While watching a documentary style wedding film you feel like you are getting a “behind the scenes” look at the wedding, with funny little moments peppered amongst all of the beautiful ones. In contrast to the other styles, documentary style will often include audio snippets picked up throughout the day instead of just the ceremony, speeches, or any other planned speaking time.

   5. Traditional: Traditional wedding videography isn’t exactly your mother’s wedding video anymore, though it does focus on the same elements. This style of videography usually focuses on the “traditional” elements of a wedding like the ceremony, special dances, cake cutting, etc. These films usually document the day in chronological order and include more of the ceremony instead of just a few highlights from the vows. Videographers who work in this style stick to a more… well, traditional approach to creating a wedding video. This means the editing is more straightforward and the videographer will use hand held cameras and tripods instead of new age tools like stabilizers and drones. However, since the market is always evolving and couples are becoming more and more interested in the other styles of wedding videography, often traditional videographers will incorporate a lot of the characteristics of the other styles into their classic approach to capturing a wedding.

2. Videographers are storytellers, but everybody will tell the same story a little differently. While there is a specific videography style called “storytelling,” all videographers are, in fact, storytellers. Like any narrative, the story is told through the lense (literally of this case) of the storyteller. When searching for a videographer there are a few important storytelling aspects to consider that will help guide you to a decision on how you’d like your story told.

   1. Film length and what is included- Film length (and cost) will vary between videographers. A lot of videographers offer a range of packages and film lengths for you to choose from. The first big choice you will need to make is if you want a short edit that serves as a highlight reel of your day, a much longer video that includes your full ceremony, special dances, and toasts, or something in between. 

   2. Directing style- After deciding on what length of film you’d like, you will need to consider what directing style you like. Do you want it to be documentary style, cinematic, traditional. etc.? Do they include a lot of wide sweeping shots or more close ups of their subjects? Videography is an art, and each artist is going to bring a slightly different approach to telling your story.

   3. Use of color and tone- After narrowing your search by video length and directing style, you will need to consider use of color and tones. While videographers typically don’t alter the colors as much as photographers, there is still variation between professionals. While editing your wedding video together, the videographer will be color correcting as you move from your getting ready space, to ceremony, to outdoors, to the reception, in order to create a cohesive video. This isn’t to say they create a monochromatic video, but it does give them an option to play up the lighter tones, darker tones, brighter colors, etc.   

Before diving into your videographer search, it is very useful to at least get a baseline of what video styles you are drawn to. With so many options out there, knowing your budget and building a general idea of what you like will help focus the search.

1. Watch example videos and think about what you personally are taking away from them. After watching a sample video consider what you now know about the newly weds in the film. Your videographer should be able to capture your personalities and tell your love story over the course of even just a quick five minute wedding video. If at the end of the sample film you still feel like you don’t know anything about the couple, the videographer didn’t really tell their story. That being said, watch a few of their example videos to get a good idea of their abilities. Not every couple is comfortable in front of the camera which makes telling their story a little difficult. 

2. Make sure your contract protects you. This is true for all vendors, but it is especially common to find vague or ambiguous wording in videography contracts. Time frames for video return, a length range of the video (i.e 3-5 minutes, 60-90 minutes, etc.), and additional costs of other services offered (in case you want to add or upgrade a service later) should be specifically outlined in your contract. If you love a videographer and find that this information is missing from their contract, ask for it to be added! If they refuse to add in concrete deliverable information, this is a pretty big warning sign that they aren’t confident in the promises they are making! 

3. Be mindful when negotiating pricing. Providing and valuing a service is a daunting task for an artistic professional. These professionals spend years perfecting their craft and adjust their pricing based on their ever evolving skill level and demand for service. If you fall in love with a vendor who is out of your price range, it never hurts to ask if they can accommodate your budget. The key here though is asking and understanding if they aren’t able to make this accommodation. 

4. Talk to the professional either in person or on the phone prior to booking. This is true for all vendors, but especially important with your videographer (and photographer!). Your videographer will be spending the entire day with you, so it is very important to find someone whose personality meshes with yours.

5. The price you pay is not just for your wedding day. Videographers spend a lot of time on their clients. They dedicate time prior to the wedding to study your personalities, timeline, and shot list in order to be fully prepared to capture your day. After the wedding, they pour hours of time and energy into sifting through thousands of videos, finding the very best shots, and editing accordingly. They also invest a lot of money back into maintaining and upgrading their equipment to ensure they are providing the best service possible. Take all of this into consideration when discussing price! Depending on the professional, the length of time they spend at your wedding, and the film length you have commissioned they will have often spent upwards of 30 hours working on your wedding! Above all else, you are paying for an accurate representation of how the day unfolded so you can reminisce for years to come!

6. A second videographer is very useful. Hiring one single videographer to capture your day will work out, but there are some limiting factors that this will inherently bring. First, while getting ready the bride and groom are typically not in the same room, and often not even at the same location. The videographer will have to choose which person to film getting ready, or quickly move locations in order to capture a little of both. For many situations, time will not allow for this transition. Additionally, with two videographers, one will be able to focus their attention to the important events (i.e. you at the altar during the ceremony, you during speeches, you during your dances, etc.), and the other videographer will be able to capture guest reactions. One videographer will have to pick and choose what subjects to film for any given moment and may miss out on some of those reactions.

Questions to ask prior to booking a videographer

Pro-tip: Not all of these questions will be necessary in every situation. Some may not be applicable to you and a lot of this may be answered on your videographer’s website or pricing menu. Be sure to carefully select the questions that are relevant to your unique situation to avoid overwhelming yourself and the videographer with too much information!

Package Insight-

1. Are you available on my date?

2. Does your package include a second videographer? If I’d like to add a second (or third!) shooter, what is the cost?

3. How many cameras do you use to capture our day? (Hint: typically there will be between 2-3 cameras for a single videographer, and another 1 camera per additional videographer. The video team members will each hold a camera and place the others on tripods or another stationary device to capture your wedding from several angles.)

4. Is a drone included in your package? If not, what is the cost of adding one?

5. How many hours are included in your package?

6. What do you charge for additional hours?

7. Can I add additional hours on my wedding day if we decide we want you longer?

8. What length video can I expect back from my wedding?

9. What is the turnaround time for my wedding video?

10. Will I have access to the raw footage?

11. How do you deliver the video?

12. Will the video be available online so I can share with my friends and family?

13. Do you retain any of the rights to the videos?

14. What do the rights you retain mean for me?

15. Will you be posting our video on your website and/or social media? 

16. Will you need our separate permission to submit the video to any third party publication or will you already have those rights per the contract?

17. Do you charge a travel fee? If so, how much and for what distance?

18. How do you record our audio? (Hint: save yourself the headache of researching all of the recording devices available. Instead, confirm that they have two methods of capturing sound, and know that the best sound quality will come from plugging directly into the sound board that the microphones are powered by.)

Experience-

1. How long have you been a professional videographer?

2. How long have you been a wedding videographer?

3. How many weddings have you captured?

4. How many weddings do you typically have in a single weekend?

5. Have you worked at my venue before? If not, will you attend a venue walk through to scout out ideal video locations?

6. Can we see additional videos that you have created aside from the ones on your website?

Style-

1. How would you describe your videography style?

2. How do you describe your working style? Are you in the background capturing the events unfolding around you? Are you more active in posing people?

3. What kind of camera do you use?

4. How will you and your team dress? (Hint: keep in mind that your videographer will be doing a lot of moving around, so while they should still dress appropriately for a wedding they typically don't dress as formally as the guests.)

5. Do you bring additional lighting to adjust for indoor/outdoor/day/night transitions?

Editing the video-

1. Can we request specific moments to be included in the video? (Hint: the videographer sifts through hours of footage and will have a very clear perspective on what footage is the best both in quality and cohesiveness with the rest of the film. However, you may have a particular moment in mind you’d like included, and knowing if you can make this suggestion up front will help manage your expectations.)

2. Can I pick the music used in my video? If not, how do you select the songs you use?

3. Are we able to use any song we’d like or will you provide a list for us to choose from?

4. After I receive my video, can I request changes? Is there a limit to the amount or types of changes that can be made?

Logistics-

1. When will we receive the contract?

2. How much do you require for a deposit? When is it due?

3. What is your payment schedule like? (Hint: most videographers take payments in 2-3 installments: 1st payment is the deposit, the remainder is due at varying times before the wedding. The exact payment schedule varies amongst professionals.)

4. What is your refund or cancellation policy if I cancel?

5. What is your refund or cancellation policy if you cancel?

6. Do you have liability insurance? Does it cover your second shooter and assistant(s), as well?

7. Do you carry backup equipment?

8. What is the backup plan if you are unable to personally work my wedding for any reason? Is this written into the contract?

9. How long do you keep our raw footage after we receive our video?

10. Do you have experience working with my photographer? If so, how do you work with and around each other to ensure everyone is able to capture the important moments in full?

Bonuses-

1. Do you offer any additional services, like a photo booth or photography?

2. If you don’t personally offer photography, do you have a photographer you recommend?

3. Are you available to video any pre-wedding events (i.e. bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, engagement party, etc.)? If so, what are the rates for these?

Maximizing your videographer’s services

1. Consider what songs you’d like in the video. Spend some time thinking about what song you’d like to use. The videographer can’t edit your video until they have your song selection, so having this picked out prior to your wedding will streamline the editing process and ensure a timely return!

2. Think about lighting in your getting ready space. Natural light always looks best in videos, so take this into consideration when selecting a location for getting ready. If you are getting ready in a hotel, request a room with a lot of windows! If you are getting ready at a private property, be sure to pick a room with a lot of natural light!

3. Provide examples of videos you like and mention specifics about what stands out to you. By giving specifics about what you want beforehand your videographer will be able to fully understand what you are looking for and produce a film that you will ultimately be thrilled with!

4. Check in with your videographer beforehand to build rapport. Your video will look the absolute best if you are natural and comfortable. This is best achieved by feeling comfortable with the person holding the camera!  

5. Prepare something written to read for your voiceovers. Write out your vows on notecards or write each other a card, and then find a quiet space to read them aloud while you are getting ready. This is a great way to either practice your vows or connect with your fiance prior to the ceremony. Either way, reading these with just you and the camera is the perfect chance to capture those beautiful emotions that will have you tearing up every time you rewatch your video (with optimum audio quality)!

Bridal Shower Planning Guide

A bridal shower is a great milestone in the wedding preparation journey for the bride to enjoy the company of friends and family before the wedding! The bridal shower is different from the bachelorette party in that it is typically shorter and a more “tame” gathering. Follow the guide below, or share it with the event host, for a smooth bridal shower planning experience!

Why have a bridal shower-

A bridal shower is a party where friends and family gather to shower the bride with gifts! Much like a baby shower functions as a chance to prepare an expecting mother for a life transition, the bridal shower is meant to provide the bride with gifts that will help prepare her for the upcoming life changes that marriage will bring. While the primary function of this event is to dote upon the bride, it is also a fun opportunity to play games, introduce friends from different walks of life, and build memories!

When should the bridal shower be?

Bridal showers typically occur in the final few months, or even weeks, before the wedding. It is best to schedule this just before the final stages of planning take up all of the bride’s free time! Scheduling this party 30-45 days prior to the wedding is ideal!

The bridal shower will typically occur during daylight hours as opposed to being a nighttime event. 

Example bridal shower planning timeline-

3 months prior to wedding- 

Set a budget for the bridal shower

Create a guest list for the bridal shower

Gather addresses or email addresses of the guests

Decide on the general “feel” for the bridal shower (formal, casual, something in between?)

Find a venue to host the shower

2 months prior to wedding-

Plan the food and drink menus

Send out invitations to bridal shower

Find decor for bridal shower

Select attire for bridal shower

Book any necessary vendors

Plan activities for the bridal shower

1 month prior to wedding-

Purchase bar and food materials

Purchase flowers & decor

Host bridal shower

Who hosts the bridal shower?

More often than not the bridesmaids, bride or groom’s mother, or another close friend or family member will host the bridal shower. It is uncommon for the bride to host this event for herself since the primary function is to shower the bride with gifts.

How should I invite people?

As always, there are no set rules. Sending formal invitations by mail is great if you have the time and budget, but not necessary by any means! For bridal showers, it is a more recent trend to create a cute virtual invite that is distributed via email. This bridges the gap between official invitations and something that requires less effort. This also provides the opportunity to link a registry directly on the invitation so guests can conveniently click the link and purchase a gift!

Who should be invited?

The etiquette guru, Miss Manners, says you can only invite people who are invited to the wedding and I have to agree with her on this one. Unlike the engagement or bachelorette party, the bridal shower’s main purpose is for people to bring you gifts. Inviting someone to give the bride a gift, but not the wedding is a bit rude.

Traditionally this is a women only event, but this is changing more and more everyday. The invites can be extended to all the womyn invited to the wedding who are particularly close friends with the bride. The best rule of thumb is to limit the guest list to only the bride’s closest family and friends. Remember, the bride’s family is growing with the wedding! It is completely normal and acceptable to invite people from the groom’s side of the family if the relationship allows!

Here is a general outline of who is typically invited:

• The bridesmaids

• The womyn the bride is close with in her immediate families 

• The womyn the bride is close with in her extended families

• Close friends in the area who are also invited to the wedding. This isn’t an event that people would typically travel for, so if you have close friends in the area add them to the list!

Pro-tip #1: If you invite some immediate or extended family, you DO NOT have to invite them all. Invite whoever makes sense in the bride’s unique situation.

Pro-tip #2: The groom doesn’t usually attend the bridal shower. He often will make an appearance at some point, but typically doesn’t stay for the duration of the party.

What information should the invitations include?

As always, names, date, location, and time will need to be included on the invitation. The host should also specify what kind of refreshments can be expected (appetizers only, full dinner, hosted bar, BYOB, no alcohol, etc.). Depending on what kind of theme you are going with, the headline on the invitation can communicate this information. For example, “Brunch and Bubbly Bridal Shower” or “I Do BBQ.”

Guests are expected to bring gifts, so be sure to include the bride’s wedding registry on the invitation.

Who should pay for the bridal shower?

The cost of the bridal shower typically will fall on the hostess(es). This can vary on a case by case basis depending on financial situations. The bride is never expected to pay for any portion of the bridal shower, though, on very rare occasions may be asked to contribute on certain items. For example, if the person hosting the event does not personally drink alcohol and doesn’t feel comfortable paying for it for guests, the bride may be asked to provide the alcohol. Typically the host would ask someone else close to the bride before coming to the bride with this request, though. Much like the actual wedding, budget isn’t what defines the day. The most important aspect is celebrating your love while surrounded by the people who mean the most to you! (See the end of blog for full example budget breakdowns.)

Where should the bridal shower be hosted?

The bridal shower can be hosted in any venue, it will just depend on the size of the guest list and access to space. While the event can be as formal or informal as the hostess(es) would like, the shower is often thrown in the maid of honor or a family member’s home or backyard. If the hostess(es) does not have space, or just isn’t into the idea of having this kind of gathering in their personal space, a restaurant or smaller venue is always an option! Since this event doesn’t typically include a full meal, choosing to host at a venue might add unnecessary cost.

The bridal shower is usually thrown in the city that the hostess(es) is local to. This may not be the city the bride lives in, so she will need to travel to party. This isn’t typically an event people besides the bride would travel for, so potential guests living outside of the hostess(es) city may not make sense to invite. That is okay! Communicate with those friends and family so they understand why they aren’t receiving an invitation!

What should we do at the bridal shower?

Opening the presents is the primary activity of a bridal shower. Typically around ⅔ of the way through the party everyone will gather around the bride as she opens gifts. Since dinner isn’t usually provided, a few other activities will take place to keep guests entertained and engaged. Since the guests are generously offering gifts to the bride, the groom will often make a quick appearance to say hello and thank everyone. During his appearance, there are several games to play that will include him! Some ideas include the shoe game, a Q & A with the bride(s) and groom(s), or a date night guessing game! For a full list of ideas, click here to visit our Pinterest page! No matter what kind of activities are planned, it is always nice if the guest of honor can make a quick thank you speech. The bridesmaids and/or the bride’s family have typically offered a lot of support leading up to this point aside from hosting the shower and it is always nice for the bride to show her appreciation!

Example bridal shower timeline

• 1pm- Guests arrive. Everyone mingles, make appetizer plates, grabs their drinks, and makes anonymous date night suggestion.

• 1:30pm- Game 1: “Guess the Dress” game

• 1:45pm- Host reminds everyone to enter ideas into the anonymous date night suggestions

• 1:45pm- Toasts from mother of the groom, mother of the bride, grandma, and bridesmaid who won’t give a toast at the wedding

• 2pm- Slide show of friends/family pictures viewing

• 2:15pm- Game 2: Bride reads anonymous date night suggestions aloud and guesses who made each suggestion

• 2:45pm- Groom arrives, says hello

• 3pm- Game 3: Shoe game with Groom

• 3:15pm- Groom leaves

• 3:15pm- Bride opens presents (maid of honor tracks gifts for thank you notes)

• 3:45pm- Group picture

• 4pm- Bridal shower concludes

Is a full dinner expected at the bridal shower?

Everyone appreciates a nice full meal, but it isn’t expected nor is it the norm at bridal showers. Just be sure the hostess(es) specifies either way on the invitation so guests can plan accordingly!

Typically light refreshments are offered. Some ideas include a cheese board, fruit/veggie platters, chips and dips, cupcakes, cookies, or anything else that is easy to grab and snack on. If you want something cost effective, but a little more filling consider thinly sliced pizzas, pasta salads, hamburger sliders, or even mini tacos! For beverages, a few common trends are mimosa bars, pre-batched cocktails or mocktails, wine and/or wine spritzers, or build your own Bloody Mary bars. For a list of food and beverage ideas and display inspiration click here!

What should be included in the budget?

This completely depends on what the hostess(es) chooses to include! Below are some typical things to consider budgeting for:

• Catering/food

• Tables, chairs, plates, cups, flatware, napkins, etc. 

• Bar/drinks

• Cake/dessert

• Invitations

• Decor

• Miscellaneous 

Of course there are endless approaches to maximize any budget! Below are 3 example budgets for Bridal showers.

Example 1 (the “bells and whistles” example)- overall budget $9k

40 guests, 3 hour party

• Party Planner- $850

• Venue (mother of the bride’s backyard)- FREE

• Caterer (Cheese/fruit grazing board)- $2k

• Bar (mimosa & bloody mary bar w/ bartender)- @ $15/person = $600

• Cake from speciality bakery (2 tier 6” base, 4” top tier)- $450

• Cupcake and macaroon display- $200

• Ice cream caddy & attendant- $200

• Photographer- $500

• Music/entertainment (Live guitarist & singer)- $625

• Rentals- $500

  • 4 large floor tables (low the the ground)- $120

  • Festive carpeting to go below table- $150

  • Cushions for everyone to sit on- $120

  • 1 large wicker peacock chair- $50

  • Delivery- $60

• Invitations (mailed invitations, w/ stamps & envelopes)- @$2/household = $70

• Decor- $1,650

  • 2 large balloon displays @$200/arrangement = $400

  • 2 small balloon arrangements to accent bar and dessert table = $200

  • Florist (4 centerpieces & 4 small accent arrangements for signs & special tables)- $800

  • Signage (custom neon welcome sign, bar sign, cards and gifts sign etc.)- $250

• Miscellaneous- $1,150

  • Photo booth (2 hrs)- $250

  • Party favors (ex. Spa goodie bags)- @$20/each = $800

  • Gift & activity table (sign, card box, etc.)- $100

TOTAL: $8,795

Example 2 (the “mid range backyard” example)- overall budget $1.2k

40 guests, 3 hour party

• Venue (MOH backyard/patio/living room)- FREE

• Veggie/fruit/easy apps- $200

• Bar (DIY mimosa bar & pre batched cocktails)- $350

  • 1 pre batched cocktail (ex. Vodka/Grapefruit)

  • 2 handles of mid-range vodka @$40/handle = $80

  • Grapefruit juice $30

  • 1 case mid-range champagne @ $15/btl $180

  • Orange juice/guava/other juice $40

  • Ice for cocktails = $20

• Cake (single tier cake from local grocer)- $35

• Cupcake display (homemade)- $15

• Rentals (tables, chairs)- $300

  • 4 tables & table cloths @$30/table = $120

  • 40 chairs @ $3/chair = $120

  • Delivery- $60

• Music/entertainment (make your own playlist and play through your own speaker)- FREE

• Invitations (Send out email with curated digital invite)- FREE

• Decor- $50

  • DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 5 bushels @ $5/bushel = $25

  • Dollar store vases 1 per table @$1/each = $4

  • Candles & dollar tree candle votives (2 per table)- $2/each = $8

• Miscellaneous- $250

  • Party favors (ex. Goodie bag)- @$5/each = $200

  • Gift table (sign, card box, etc.)- $50

TOTAL: $1,200

Example 3 (the “ballin’ on a budget” example)- overall budget $300

40 guests, 3 hour party

• Venue (MOH backyard/patio/living room)- FREE

• Veggie/fruit/pretzels/hummus/chips/dip- $50

• Bar (DIY mimosa bar & pre batched cocktails)- $170

  • 1 pre batched cocktail (ex. Vodka/Grapefruit)

  • 2 handles of inexpensive vodka @$20/handle = $40

  • Grapefruit juice $30

  • 1 case inexpensive champagne @ $5/btl $60

  • Orange juice $20

  • Ice for cocktails $20

• Tables/chairs (use MOH existing furniture) FREE

• Disposable plates & napkins- $5

• Cupcake & cookie display (homemade)- $25

• Music/entertainment (make your own playlist and play through your own speaker)- FREE

• Invitations (Send out email with curated digital invite)- FREE

• Decor- $50

  • DIY Flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers) 3 bushels @ $5/bushel = $15

  • Amazon decor purchases $20

  • Print signs from computer FREE

TOTAL: $300

As you can see, the cost of the third example can easily decrease by skipping the alcohol, only offering BYOB, cutting out all decor, and/or skipping dessert. Basically this is all to say, no budget is too small!

Note: These numbers may seem intimidating. Usually, all of your bridesmaids will split the cost of these items. If you have 6 bridesmaids, the price per person is much more manageable. Also keep in mind, 40 guests for a bridal shower is on the larger side of average. Invite less people to get the cost down!